Everybody appreciates a little playful, amorous attention now and again, it does the ego good. What is not appreciated is overly aggressive, foul mouth hollering that can be heard for blocks. And the coin flips both ways. But more often than not, men are the catcalling culprits. So it's always interesting to hear about what happens when shoes swap feet as they say.
Redditor u/MaxwellWillamette wanted hear about the times the shoe was on the other foot by asking.... Men who've been catcalled before, what was it like and how did you feel about it?
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Hard No
Back in high school I made the mistake of sitting deeper into the cafeteria (that's where all the scummy people sat) and I sat opposite a girl completely at random. She gets my attention and says "hey would you want to go out with me"?
Her friend has this smile on her face that tells me what I already know which is they're teasing me. So I ignore her and continue having my lunch.
She taps me again and says well, do you? Still both of them with this smile like they're waiting for their gotcha moment. I look at her dead faced and simply say, no. Then I walk to the front of the cafeteria where the relatively normal people are.
A Hard Stare
At all points in my life and all contexts, this.
Once a car full of girls pulled up tires screeching in front of me and they all started calling me handsome. I just did the whole "stare at them as if you are a psychopath" thing and kept walking because I was 100% expecting them to make fun of me, or that I was being recorded as part of those reaction stunts.
To this day I wonder if they were really hitting on me or if it was a prank. I mostly think it was a prank, otherwise it would have happened again.
Are you Sure?
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It's not great because the first time it happened they were joking to see if I'd respond, and every subsequent time it's happened my mind immediately thinks they're still joking.
Ren Folk
It happened at a Renaissance festival. It was a little embarrassing and awkward. I didn't take it personally, though. I figured they were just trying to sell me something.
Naw man, that was probably legit. Ren Faire folk are horny.
They're basically all drama/band nerds, spending an entire weekend at an event where nearly everybody is getting sauced after (and during) hours and your tent (or someone else's) is always a short walk away.
I'd rather not...
I was about sixteen and pumping gas into my car when someone driving past catcalled me. I felt kinda flattered at first but then decided they were probably making fun of me and wished it hadn't happened.
Weird yet Playful
From women? It felt like their game was off. Like either they were unsure how to proceed and felt awkward about it or just lacking practice.
Gay guys were much more fun and playful. Basically what I would aspire to be when flirting with women. How ironic.
Creepers
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Only by friends, for fun. I've had girls creep on me, while out walking and ask me if I wanted to go to a party. I always thought that's how I'll wake up in a bathtub with no kidneys.
Good Ole Gays
I've been hit on by guys and girls and I gotta say, the girls were way creepier and when i told them I was uncomfortable I was suddenly the sexist pig for not wanting anything to do with them. The guys were surprisingly way sweeter but maybe gay guys are just nicer than straight guys idk.
Similar Feels
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It's embarrassing at the same time as being a bit of an ego boost. Awkward when you're not good at getting compliments.
Meat marketing
I (male 26) used to work in an office with 19 coworkers - all female. They were all much older except for one. Anyways, I've been caressed, hugged, touched, kissed on the cheek, etc. more times than I could ever recall. For a 21-year-old recent college grad, I loved the attention. Looking back, there were a few instances that were grounds for HR. But the women there treated me very well (aside from the flirting), and I liked every last one of 'em. I'm also 6'4" and in pretty good shape, so I never felt threatened. So yeah, I liked it haha.
Brazen
A guy said my shirt was funny then asked for me to turn around. I thought he was reading the back until I heard "mmmm".
To be honest, I felt a little creeped out. Later, I couldn't believe someone would be so brazenly open about checking me out, and that part made me feel a little better about myself haha.
Buzzcut
I had just gone to the barbershop a few days prior and gotten lined up and felt pretty good and fresh. I walked through the library in college wearing a well-fitting sweater with my 5/10 forearms showing and a girl whistled at me as I walked by and when I looked back she was giggling with her friends like children while looking me up and down.
It felt nice. Kind of weird, but nice nonetheless.
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This fine thing
I'm a guy but I have long hair and a feminine figure (slim, with a large butt). From the front I have a beard so you can immediately tell I'm a man, but I've had guys check me out when they've only seen me from the back, and usually I find it funny, because it's never the nice kind of guy that you HEAR checking you out. So when I turn around they find out they were checking out another man's butt and as soon as they do they get REAL quiet and awkward. I like to joke that every time I trick a man into checking me out (especially the "look at THIS fine thing" kind of guy) I take their soul.
Smooth
Not really cat calling but an attractive girl walked past me and said "nice shorts" and smiled.
My dumb self said "no not really they're from Walmart"
I always wonder how differently I could have handled that situation
Any time anyone says anything about my clothes, I tell them where I got it and how much I paid. It's like a compulsion, it just falls out. "Oh, thanks, I bought it last summer at the Kohls; it was on the clearance rack for 12 bucks." Like, a simple 'thank you' is totally sufficient, but I just can't seem to stop there.
Must be joking
8 points·16 days ago
It's definitely different for men. There is simply no everyday expectation that anyone will compliment you on anything ever. Nothing. Not a chance. For a man to get catcalled is just such a weird experience that the first response is simply confusion.
Who are they talking to? Compliments aren't funny, so they can't be joking, but it appears they are in fact talking to me, so they must be joking. It's a complete dichotomy.
The next step is ambivalence. We don't know how to feel. If they are joking, then we should be offended, but if they aren't joking, then it's the happiest we've ever been. Both are possible, as they can't possibly be joking, and they have to be.
The final stage comes once we have decided whether or not they were having a go at us or not and resolve the dichotomy, even if it's just in our heads as we will likely never know their true intent.
Outwardly uncomfortable
Growing up in rural Tennessee in Christian churches, I had a lot of older women trying to set me up with their daughters, who often I'd never even heard of. It also made me pretty uncomfortable, especially with the way they talked about me. At least with the guys it was over quickly, but women(specifically older women) would badger me despite how outwardly uncomfortable I am.
Relativity
It's happened exactly 2 times in my 37 years, and I liked it. I imagine if it happened 2 times every day for 37 years it might get a bit old.
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Scammed
Understand that I'm not an especially attractive guy. I had a young woman call me out for being attractive at the Union Square farmer's market in NYC. I was more confused than anything. Turned out she was trying to compliment me into applying to work at an Abercrombie and Fitch store. Very weird experience.
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