Everybody appreciates a little playful, amorous attention now and again, it does the ego good. What is not appreciated is overly aggressive, foul mouth hollering that can be heard for blocks. And the coin flips both ways. But more often than not, men are the catcalling culprits. So it's always interesting to hear about what happens when shoes swap feet as they say.
Redditor u/MaxwellWillamette wanted hear about the times the shoe was on the other foot by asking.... Men who've been catcalled before, what was it like and how did you feel about it?
even stevens point GIF
Hard No
Back in high school I made the mistake of sitting deeper into the cafeteria (that's where all the scummy people sat) and I sat opposite a girl completely at random. She gets my attention and says "hey would you want to go out with me"?
Her friend has this smile on her face that tells me what I already know which is they're teasing me. So I ignore her and continue having my lunch.
She taps me again and says well, do you? Still both of them with this smile like they're waiting for their gotcha moment. I look at her dead faced and simply say, no. Then I walk to the front of the cafeteria where the relatively normal people are.
A Hard Stare
At all points in my life and all contexts, this.
Once a car full of girls pulled up tires screeching in front of me and they all started calling me handsome. I just did the whole "stare at them as if you are a psychopath" thing and kept walking because I was 100% expecting them to make fun of me, or that I was being recorded as part of those reaction stunts.
To this day I wonder if they were really hitting on me or if it was a prank. I mostly think it was a prank, otherwise it would have happened again.
Are you Sure?
joke drums GIF by neomagazinroyale
Giphy
It's not great because the first time it happened they were joking to see if I'd respond, and every subsequent time it's happened my mind immediately thinks they're still joking.
Ren Folk
It happened at a Renaissance festival. It was a little embarrassing and awkward. I didn't take it personally, though. I figured they were just trying to sell me something.
Naw man, that was probably legit. Ren Faire folk are horny.
They're basically all drama/band nerds, spending an entire weekend at an event where nearly everybody is getting sauced after (and during) hours and your tent (or someone else's) is always a short walk away.
I'd rather not...
I was about sixteen and pumping gas into my car when someone driving past catcalled me. I felt kinda flattered at first but then decided they were probably making fun of me and wished it hadn't happened.
Weird yet Playful
From women? It felt like their game was off. Like either they were unsure how to proceed and felt awkward about it or just lacking practice.
Gay guys were much more fun and playful. Basically what I would aspire to be when flirting with women. How ironic.
Creepers
matt anderson creep GIF
Giphy
Only by friends, for fun. I've had girls creep on me, while out walking and ask me if I wanted to go to a party. I always thought that's how I'll wake up in a bathtub with no kidneys.
Good Ole Gays
I've been hit on by guys and girls and I gotta say, the girls were way creepier and when i told them I was uncomfortable I was suddenly the sexist pig for not wanting anything to do with them. The guys were surprisingly way sweeter but maybe gay guys are just nicer than straight guys idk.
Similar Feels
Jack Nicholson Thank You GIF
Giphy
It's embarrassing at the same time as being a bit of an ego boost. Awkward when you're not good at getting compliments.
Meat marketing
I (male 26) used to work in an office with 19 coworkers - all female. They were all much older except for one. Anyways, I've been caressed, hugged, touched, kissed on the cheek, etc. more times than I could ever recall. For a 21-year-old recent college grad, I loved the attention. Looking back, there were a few instances that were grounds for HR. But the women there treated me very well (aside from the flirting), and I liked every last one of 'em. I'm also 6'4" and in pretty good shape, so I never felt threatened. So yeah, I liked it haha.
Brazen
A guy said my shirt was funny then asked for me to turn around. I thought he was reading the back until I heard "mmmm".
To be honest, I felt a little creeped out. Later, I couldn't believe someone would be so brazenly open about checking me out, and that part made me feel a little better about myself haha.
Buzzcut
I had just gone to the barbershop a few days prior and gotten lined up and felt pretty good and fresh. I walked through the library in college wearing a well-fitting sweater with my 5/10 forearms showing and a girl whistled at me as I walked by and when I looked back she was giggling with her friends like children while looking me up and down.
It felt nice. Kind of weird, but nice nonetheless.
-[DELETED]
This fine thing
I'm a guy but I have long hair and a feminine figure (slim, with a large butt). From the front I have a beard so you can immediately tell I'm a man, but I've had guys check me out when they've only seen me from the back, and usually I find it funny, because it's never the nice kind of guy that you HEAR checking you out. So when I turn around they find out they were checking out another man's butt and as soon as they do they get REAL quiet and awkward. I like to joke that every time I trick a man into checking me out (especially the "look at THIS fine thing" kind of guy) I take their soul.
Smooth
Not really cat calling but an attractive girl walked past me and said "nice shorts" and smiled.
My dumb self said "no not really they're from Walmart"
I always wonder how differently I could have handled that situation
Any time anyone says anything about my clothes, I tell them where I got it and how much I paid. It's like a compulsion, it just falls out. "Oh, thanks, I bought it last summer at the Kohls; it was on the clearance rack for 12 bucks." Like, a simple 'thank you' is totally sufficient, but I just can't seem to stop there.
Must be joking
8 points·16 days ago
It's definitely different for men. There is simply no everyday expectation that anyone will compliment you on anything ever. Nothing. Not a chance. For a man to get catcalled is just such a weird experience that the first response is simply confusion.
Who are they talking to? Compliments aren't funny, so they can't be joking, but it appears they are in fact talking to me, so they must be joking. It's a complete dichotomy.
The next step is ambivalence. We don't know how to feel. If they are joking, then we should be offended, but if they aren't joking, then it's the happiest we've ever been. Both are possible, as they can't possibly be joking, and they have to be.
The final stage comes once we have decided whether or not they were having a go at us or not and resolve the dichotomy, even if it's just in our heads as we will likely never know their true intent.
Outwardly uncomfortable
Growing up in rural Tennessee in Christian churches, I had a lot of older women trying to set me up with their daughters, who often I'd never even heard of. It also made me pretty uncomfortable, especially with the way they talked about me. At least with the guys it was over quickly, but women(specifically older women) would badger me despite how outwardly uncomfortable I am.
Relativity
It's happened exactly 2 times in my 37 years, and I liked it. I imagine if it happened 2 times every day for 37 years it might get a bit old.
-[deleted]
Scammed
Understand that I'm not an especially attractive guy. I had a young woman call me out for being attractive at the Union Square farmer's market in NYC. I was more confused than anything. Turned out she was trying to compliment me into applying to work at an Abercrombie and Fitch store. Very weird experience.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
But we should also be prepared and ready to ask the right questions to have a leg up on the competition.
"What is THE best question to ask on a job interview?"
A company's history or information about a past employee were suggested subjects appropriate for questioning.
Prior Knowledge
"When you were interviewing here, what would you have liked to know before you joined?"
"This worked for me. I asked my interviewer a question about how she had personally dealt with a company policy she had just explained. She bragged about her stellar adherence to the policy. I nodded my approval. I got the job."
A Previous Employee
"One that has always gone over well for me:"
"What were some qualities that the previous employee in this role brought to the job that you would like to see carried forward?"
"Another good thing to do is research the company you are interviewing with and you can ask things about what they may be involved in or you could drop that while reading about the company, you wondered this."
Hypothetical questions were suggested as helpful examples of inquiry.
Indicators Of How Companies Treat Employees
"A question that landed me a job once was: 'If I asked your direct reports about your management style, what do you think they'd tell me?' Stumped a hiring manager and he emailed me personally to tell me about it, no one ever asked him that question but got the job.
"In my current interviews I'm asking 'what did your company do for its employees during [the virus] to improve their day to day, work life balance, etc.' and I ask 'Is there anything your company adopted during [the virus] that they plan to keep post [the virus]?"
"These questions give a lot of insight into whether a company treated their employees well."
Past Performance & Adjustments
"If we were currently sitting in my 1 year review, what would I have done in this year for you to say I excelled in my role?"
"If I could snap my finger right now and change anything about your job or the company, what would it be and why?"
The following questions about a prospective company may not be answered from initial digging on their website.
Measure Of Success & Career Trajectories
"How is success measured in this role?"
"What are some possible career trajectories within the company that could stem from this position?"
Being A Solution
"Ask them what is the biggest problem you can solve for them in your first six months with the company. Similar to 'don't think of a purple hippo,' this forces them to imagine you succeeding in the position."
Simply The Best
"Who is your best employee and why is he/she the best?"
"You will then face 2 situations mostly:"
"panicking CEO who can't answer you 'Bob who works 17 hours a day for a slice of bread' so the fear in their faces must be a big nono for you"
"entusiast CEO who actually follow their business and can tell you who is an added value for the company and why."
– ThePiz91
My experiences with job interviews are different than others seeking work in office environments.
Having had a years-long career as a dancer, my "interview" was the dance audition, where hopefuls dance in small groups of people at a time after learning a routine and then awaiting their fate after the panel evaluates their performances.
The question I may or may not have asked in such a scenario earlier in my career was: "Did I make the cut?"
I did not make the cut. And I learned never to ask that again.
I remember the worst date I ever had. My biggest regret is that I stayed for the entire thing. I should've left as soon as I realized this was not going well, which was basically at hello. But he was paying so I drank, a lot. I'll keep names and dates to myself to protect the innocent.
0/10
Big Brother Reaction GIF by Big Brother After DarkGiphy"Went to brewery, date said I had hairy arms and that meant I was horny, said "you look really awful in this light" and then tried to dig out of that hole by saying in his native language that was a term of endearment long term couples said to each other. 0/10 did not date again."
Lucky 13?
"My wife wanted to plan our 13th wedding anniversary. I was excited because usually, I plan it. She bought us some new disc golf discs and after a quick supper, we went to play. We hadn't played in forever. We were laughing and I had a great time. She served me with divorce papers and told me that the date was a test to see if she still had feelings for me. I also learned that she was having an affair that started well before our anniversary."
- rmorlock
Two Hours from Home
"Not necessarily a date but a person I was dating invited me to his parent's house for the afternoon. He wanted to introduce me to them and show me the house he grew up in. I thought it was super sweet and had no problems going. He was also in the middle of moving and needed to pick up a few things, so it really didn't seem that unusual."
"Yeah, we got there and it was awful. His entire family was there. They traveled from hours away too. This was not just meeting the parents, it was meeting the ENTIRE family. Even worse? At some point, this idiot told his parents that he had proposed. We had been dating TWO months. I spent the entire afternoon dumbfounded and just playing along."
"We were two hours from home and I had no cell service, no way to leave at all. We ended up spending the afternoon brainstorming wedding ideas and planning an Alaskan honeymoon that his parents planned to gift us. His brother even called to say congratulations! We drove back to his apartment in silence. When we got there, I got in my car and left, didn't even bother grabbing my stuff. Weirdest experience ever. I have no idea how he broke it to his parents that we weren't getting married."
You're Cut Off!
"Got set up on a blind date once between mutual friends. She shows up to the restaurant already a little tipsy, orders multiple appetizers and only takes like one or two bites from each one. Then she proceeds to order 3 or 4 more drinks and is visibly drunk at this point. She gets up and says she's going to the bathroom and staggers off. About 15-20 minutes go by so I try to call her several times but no answer."
"Finally I decide to pay the check and just leave. About 2 hours later I'm sitting at home and I get a call from an unknown number. It's the police department. She was picked up on a DUI on her way home after she ditched me and gave the cops my number to see if I could go bail her out!"
- mox44ah
Sorry?
Bbc Three Idk GIF by BBCGiphy"Well, I gave this answer on a different topic, but it ties in with this. We were out on a date, we had been seeing each other for a while, close to a year maybe. She gets a phone call. Suddenly she looks destroyed. Her fiancé had just died in a motorcycle accident."
What in the world? I mean how can we ever expect to pair off with the dating pool being inundated with liars and nut jobs? I'm going to delete my apps.
Girl, Bye.
Sassy Beyonce GIFGiphy"Had a girl openly flirt with the bartender in front of me. She says she wasn't. But handing him her own phone and asking for his contact info in front of her date seems like it to me."
Crazy!
"Came out from a movie, late at night, and date's Camaro was stolen. Apparently, he called his WIFE (that I did not know he had) and let her know where he was and what happened. She showed up and realized he was on a date! She started chasing ME around the parking lot telling me she was going to kill me. Saved by the cops who showed up just in time to take the auto theft report."
Hey Mom
"Met a girl at a country bar one night in my 20s. We were both pretty drunk but hit it off pretty good. Ended up getting her number and we agreed we'd go on a real date. Fast forward to the date, she gets in my vehicle and... she looks almost identical to my mom. I was mortified. I was polite and we went for lunch where I found out she also had a boyfriend she "wasn't sure if she was into". Never talked to her again."
- SgtGo
Liars...
"When I was in college many years ago, before the advancement of cell phones and social media, I was chatting with a girl I met on a BBS who lived on Long Island, NY. I was 18 at the time, but lied and said I was 22 because she said she was 25. We spent a few weeks emailing each other, as well as calling each other."
"We even exchanged pics. When we finally met up, things blew up. Turns out we both lied about our ages: She was really 33, and lied because she thought she looked younger. She admitted she sent a college photo to me. We still had dinner together, but it was awkward as hell. We never spoke again."
Doubles
Kill Me Now Season 1 GIF by FriendsGiphy"It was a double date. She was more interested talking to the other girl throughout the whole thing. Found out later from the other guy that his girl cheated on him with my date."
Ummm... I think I'm just going to stay single. That is a handful of crazy. Why can't people just be honest? I swear the search for love warps people's brains. Be careful out there people.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.