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People Break Down The Theories They Know In Their Gut Are True But Can't Quite Prove

Ever have a theory that might seem rather farfetched... but you feel in your heart it has to be true? For example, I'm pretty sure none of those women, particularly the brunettes in BOSS BABE midriffs with "business proposals" likely concocted during meditation beside the shimmering sand dune featured in their respective profile pics actually have business proposals. The kicker is that I'm too lazy to find out, unless there truly are Stepford influencers out there who want to change my life and whose efforts I keep impeding.

Whether they veer into the more lighthearted or turn considerably more serious, people had plenty of ideas after Redditor ArtisticRX asked the online community,

"What do you know in your gut but can't prove?"

"Now I know better."

My washing machine requires a meal of one sock every fortnight or so. I used to save the odd socks in a drawer waiting for the day they would be discovered at the bottom of the laundry bin or under a bed. Now I know better.

squ1bs

"At some point..."

At some point when digital cable became a thing, there was a meeting with the networks where they said, "Make it difficult to change channels. Make it so that you have to go through the guide and when you do tune in a channel it takes like three seconds to load. Not enough to annoy people, but enough to make it not worth it to flip over during commercials."

pjabrony

"That my sister..."

That my sister is a narcissist and doesn't actually care about her kids, it's all just an act.

Oniwaban9

"He studies me..."

My cat understands the gist of what I say to him.

He studies me intently with his intelligent-looking deep green eyes, and "MROW's" at strategic points, as if to indicate "understood."

Back2Bach

"I was maybe 10 or so..."

That I saw a UFO while camping in Utah. I watched an object descend from probably cloud level to maybe 300 feet over my head and hover for a few minutes before rising back up to cloud level and disappearing. I was maybe 10 so when I told my parents and the family friends we were camping with they chalked it up to an overactive imagination, but I know what I saw.

Booty_Gobbler69

"She figured that either the marriage..."

Wallis Simpson encouraged Edwards abdication, and it backfired on her. I believe that she wanted him to threaten abdication, unless he could marry her. She figured that either the marriage would be allowed without abdication, or that he would give up the crown and the British people would be so unsatisfied with George, they would demand Edward's restoration no matter who his wife was. Either way, once he gave his throne up for love of her, she had to marry him, crown or no.

I also believe that she was conspiring with the German government, in order to set Edward back up as king of a vassal or puppet state to Germany. Hence why they were sent to the Bahamas after their little vacation to Berlin, and why his governance ended in 1945.

Astraea1342

"Donald Trump's only major intention..."

Donald Trump's only major intention, in originally running for President, was to build his personal brand... a motivation that can help someone who comes close but doesn't actually win (as he expected), yet hinder someone who actually wins and must handle the associated responsibilities.

JSanzi

"That the universe repeats itself..."

That the universe repeats itself every time it ends. That's where deja vus come from, for a moment you remember your past life, and then move on with your day.

AlastorSalazar

"World resource scarcity..."

World resource scarcity is a facade created by the rich and wealthy to keep the masses busy and scratching for survival so they never realize the truth of our massive manipulation.

Crabnab

"She moves to a small town..."

Angela Lansbury was a genius serial killer in the TV show "Murder She Wrote".

She moves to a small town and suddenly there is a murder every week, which she happens to solve. I say she was killing the people and with her high IQ was able to frame other people for each murder.

Emperor_Norton

"That conscious life..."

That conscious life on an inhabitable planet doesn't just happen randomly for no reason.

The simplest (and Occam's razor therefore says most likely) universe to happen by random chance would probably be no universe at all. The next most simple would be spacetime without any matter in it, just a big empty nothingness. After that, maybe a uniform spread of hydrogen atoms, one atom every few billion miles and that's it. If we're talking a totally nuts, really interesting universe, maybe hydrogen, helium, and lithium atoms with some photons and sometimes they run into each other- and honestly, that still seems pretty unlikely to just randomly happen compared to nothingness.

So...come on man! I'm supposed to believe that matter popped into existence, inflated into a space growing faster than the speed of light, clumped together into stars and exploded in supernovae multiple times over to create a bunch of types of matter that have all come together to create me, a piece of matter that knows it exists and is connected to every other piece of massive matter in the whole universe through the force of gravity (and probably other forces as well), and that all just....kinda happened.....randomly.....by chance?

Sorry, no. It's not random chance, that's just a cop out because it's something too amazing for our tiny human brains to comprehend, so we say it's random chance instead of admitting that something amazing and purposeful is going on, but it's beyond our comprehension.

persontryingtobegood

"I can't explain it..."

I'm going to try a tragic death. I can't explain it but I've had the feeling ever since I was little. I do tarot so a few months ago I did a reading on if I'd live a long life and my last card was the tower card (every tarot readers worst nightmare when doing a reading lmao) and it basically means that there's going to be a catastrophe or accident.

oimgaaaaay

"I would bet..."

My stepmom is literally a psychopath. Years of tormenting me, my siblings, my mom, and sometimes my dad. 13 years of her doing terrible terrible stuff to our family with no remorse and narcissism. She was married 3 times before my dad and was left for faking pregnancies, making false claims of abuse, and some other stuff. I would bet pretty much anything on it. She's a psychopath.

soccyanony

"There was a much advanced..."

There was a much advanced civilisation before us, that even had space travel and tele communications.. they lived in a perfectly balanced relationship with nature.

bezoaramni

"I have always wondered..."

I have always wondered if Chamberlain was merely trying to but time for England, as opposed to appeasing Hitler. He knew they weren't ready for war.

If so, he is a true hero. Had to have known he would be remembered as The Guy Who Appeased Hitler.

KATEOFTHUNDER

"Most of the time."

Yes, my cats understand me. They also come when I call them. Most of the time.

KATEOFTHUNDER

"I don't think..."

I don't think there's really an illuminati or group of lizards controlling things, but God damn some events make more sense as a grand conspiracy.

I mean Covid comes along right when America is at its most divided and vulnerable? Yeah, could be coincidence, but holy crap did a lot of bad things line up "just right" for it.

writeorelse

"He's so weird."

My dog literally hates my mom. No reason why, but he just HATES her. He growls at her when she pets him, but when my dad and I pet him, he doesn't care. Literally EVERY OTHER DOG IN THE WORLD loves her. He's so weird.

thebiggestnerdofall

"I was on the job..."

That my firing from my first job was planned before I was employed. I was on the job for seven weeks and was gone soon after joining. I had a guy feeling that this was all out in place since it was a busy time of the year. As soon as it quietened down, I was gone. I can't prove this unfortunately, but my gut tells me it was a set up.

SoullessRJL


Things All Guys Do But Would Never Admit To

"Reddit user Miguenzo asked: 'What is something all guys do but will never admit to doing?'"

Four young men sit on a mountainside while laughing and talking
Photo by Matheus Ferrero

Men can be a mystery.

They like to hide as much as they can about themselves.

In truth, the rest of the world already suspects most of whatever behaviors they're trying to bury.

But often, it's so healthy to unburden yourself whenever you can.

Isn't it also comforting to know we aren't alone on this?

You do that? ME TOO!

Redditor Miguenzo wanted all the men out there to make some confessions, so they asked:

"What is something all guys do but will never admit to doing?"

Going to the bathroom sitting down more often than you think.

That's a guy truth I'll admit to.

I like to be comfortable.

Playtime

U Know Flirt GIF by WimbledonGiphy

"I play with my penis more than any other object, by far."

killsafety

"And not even in a sexual way. Sometimes just flopping it from left to right while watching TV."

OneMorePotion

"This is what my wife had a hard time understanding. Just cause I'm messing with it, doesn't mean I'm aroused. I'm just fidgeting and that's my object."

Cigarettelegs

HER

"Imagine your entire life with a girl you just met."

Old_Situation4990

"Did this this weekend. The most beautiful woman working as a barmaid I have ever seen."

"However, I know it's annoying having someone hit on you while working and working in a bar she must get it all the time. so I kept quiet ordered my drinks and didn't bother her. She remembered what I was drinking by the 3rd drink. that was enough for me. LMAO."

EngineersMasterPlan

Think About It

"Daydream about insane scenarios that will never happen where you're the main hero that swoops in to save the day. Common examples include things like thinking you could figure out how to land an entire airplane in an emergency, thinking about 'What happens if there's a robbery and I stop the bad guy,' thinking about saving someone from a burning building, thinking you could save someone's life if there's a random medical emergency, etc."

bbbbbthatsfivebees

Spoons and Forks

"Not sure if this is for all guys, but my BF will never ever admit that he prefers to be the little spoon 😭."

raviolixx

"I’m over a foot taller than my wife, so I often joke that 'she’s my better third.' But I HATE being a big spoon. Nothing makes me happier in my marriage like being a little spoon, curled up, while she runs her fingers through my hair… Just thinking about is releasing the endorphins. We will hit 29 years together in a couple of months, and it not only never gets old, it gets better with age."

ZacInStl

Pick Away

jason clarke flirting GIF by OriginalsGiphy

"Nose picking is more common than anyone will admit."

oldwhitch

"Nose picking is probably the most efficient way to get uncomfortable buggers out of your nose."

AllDressedJalapenos

Ugh. Nose pickers. Stop it. Just stop it!

Whoops

Uh Oh Oops GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphy

"Morning pees sometimes go sideways and there's annoying cleaning up to do."

Apprehensive_Sky9062

Sniffed

"Sniff our armpits to be sure they don't stink or we enjoy the smell."

Individual-Option514

"This one is def gender neutral. I've had several girlfriends be embarrassed that I 'caught them' smell-checking themselves. As if they thought it was some secret weird thing they do and nobody else did. LOL."

Zeallust

"When I get nervous I stick my hands under my arms and then I sniff my armpit smell off my fingers and it calms me back down."

Papaya_flight

Inch by Inch

"Measuring their penis. Yeah, some will admit it. But some refuse to admit it."

Just4TheSpamAndEggs

"I don’t need a tape measure to know what disappointment looks like."

flightlessf**kbucket

Haven't done it in a while. At this point, I'm too afraid it's gotten smaller. If that's possible."

Double_Win_9405

"I have honestly never measured my d*ck. Girls I dated did. The numbers really mean nothing to me. I only cared if it was too small. Once girls told me it wasn't, I was satisfied."

esoteric_enigma

I Feel Pretty

"Being friendlier to attractive women."

JoeSchmoe314159

"Attractive women are scarier for many, so a lot of us probably come off as aloof or rude whatever towards them because we just kind of ignore them (actually are just too nervous to address them directly)."

"This isn't such a thing for me now that I'm in my 30s and have a long-time committed partner. No pressure... lol. But I know when I was a younger guy in the dating pool, the very attractive women were terrifying... lol."

bossmcsauce

"Attractive people actually get treated better in most areas of life in general. It’s called Pretty Privilege. Attractive people are trusted more easily, looked up to more, invited to more things, talked to more, can get a raise easier, and obviously can date easier."

Ur_Fav_Step-Redditor

At least once

"If you're single; Having feelings/Attraction to almost every female friend you've got. Doesn't have to be strong feelings. Doesn't have to be romantic. But you've thought about it. At least once. Maybe three times."

TA2556

"Definitely not universal. This stopped happening to me after I started and finished one major relationship."

"You develop a sense for what you actually want -- and how much more valuable friendship can be than any random romance."

"Also, as a straight guy, having uncomplicated friendships with multiple women is a great way to just get out in life, meet people and situations you never would've otherwise, and not bog down your own psyche. Really elevated my 20s."

MRIchalk

Underneath

wicked GIF by Ice CubeGiphy

"Kicking ice cube under the fridge when falls."

Subject-Inflation805

"Gotta feed those shadow critters."

UnRealmCorp

I love the ice cube kick.

I think it's gender universal.

man wearing Nike camouflage t-shirt

Oliver Ragfelt on Unsplash

The Bible advises people to judge not, lest they be judged.

Which seems to have been lost in translation for too many purported adherents to its teachings.

On a secular level, we're told to not judge a book by its cover, but sometimes...

Sometimes it's hard not to get judgy.

Keep reading...Show less
Shot Through The Heart! These Waiters Witnessed Valentine’s Day Disasters
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Valentine’s Day is a day of love and romance, but not for everyone. For some, Valentine’s Day is a day for broken hearts, breakups and blowups. Workers and patrons at restaurants and bars have a front-row seat to some of the most awkward, abysmal and just plain awful Valentine’s Day moments, where attempts at love don’t always have a fairy tale ending.

Three’s A Crowd

stage door band and crew onlyPhoto by seabass creatives on Unsplash

I used to be a professional musician and the four-piece band I was in got booked for a Valentine’s Day event in a local bar. The guitarist invited his girlfriend down so they could be together on the night. What he hadn't counted on was his WIFE getting the night off work and coming to the show too as a Valentine’s surprise.

Everything was fine for the first set of the night. Then the problems began when both the girlfriend and the wife met in the band room backstage. Most of the band escaped the obvious row that was coming and waited by the bar for the second set. What we saw next was the most outrageous show of a woman’s scorn anyone has ever seen!

The wife ran onstage and began trashing his guitars and all his pedals, leads, and amp. No one dared to stop her. She was rightly angry. Shortly after she left the stage, the girlfriend had her turn, destroying whatever was left of his gear. Between both cheated women, they caused around $2,000 worth of damage to his set up. Needless to say, we played the second set as a three-piece, but it was quite a show!

TheBoyDoneGood

Just Desserts

At the beginning of the evening, a man at our restaurant gave me a ring to bring out to his table with dessert. The couple began arguing before they even ordered and ended up screaming at each other in the restaurant. My manager made me ask the guy, as discreetly as I could, if he still wanted the ring with the dessert. It was that bad.

I didn't want to, but I asked. Big. Mistake. He then started to scream at me that of course he still wanted the ring. He was right, after all, it wasn't my business. So I brought out the ring. She said, "Are you serious?" and left. Then the man screamed at me again when I wouldn't let him chase after her and leave without paying.

In the end, the guy just threw the money on the table with a huge tip, but I think he just gave what he had and left. He had made such an insane scene that we had to give free desserts to the tables next to them to make up for ruining their evening. After the service, I told my manager I was never questioning a client's request again.

Lulastark

One Ring To Fail Them All

There was a couple seated a few places away from us. They sat far enough away so that we couldn't hear the conversation, but it was obvious that they were arguing. The waiter did his spiel on the set tasting menu and handed out a beverage list. The guy orders a bottle of vino for both of them and she interrupts with, "I'm good I'll just have water."

They continued over a very uncomfortable meal, during which he kept asking stuff. She'd respond with increasingly annoyed no's. The waiter returns and notices that appetizers hadn't even been touched yet. He tops off her water and his drink, then asks if everything was tasting alright. He finishes with an, "I'll give you guys some more time to enjoy."

She was now loudly enough that we could understand her now. "I can't keep doing this with you." She angrily forks into her appetizer and finishes just in time for the entree to arrive. The arguing continues, and the guy is looking increasingly nervous. Suddenly, he gets down on one knee. She said, "Oh God, no." He takes her hand to put the ring on it.

She snatches her hand away like he's lava. He still wasn’t reading the signals and said, "Will you do..." She bursts into tears. Everyone in the entire restaurant, who didn’t really understand the context of the situation, sighed an audible "Awww!" She said, "I can't believe you would even ask after what you did. I told you I needed space. I don't even know if I can trust you anymore."

After that, things were kind of a blur. I think she threw a couple of $20s on the table, then ran out. He stayed on the ground, still holding up the ring like he wasn't done proposing yet. The waiter returned with one of those sweet lava cakes topped with a little "She said yes!" thing. It was absolutely excruciating from beginning to end.

Hooked_On_Phone

Wing And A Prayer

A couple comes in and sits down in my section. I walk over just as the lady stands to go to the restroom and grab their drink orders. The lady goes to the bathroom and the gentleman says he knows what they want for appetizers. He orders boneless wings in two sauces. I run off to fetch their drinks and put their order in.

A couple of minutes later I'm returning with their appetizer. By this point, the lady had returned to the table. I set the basket down and she stares at it with surprise. "What's this?" I reply, "It's the appetizer that was ordered. Is it okay?" This woman turns to her partner and proceeds to loudly and thoroughly chew him out. How dare he order wings for an appetizer when he knew she wanted wings for dinner!

She runs on and on about how stupid he was for ordering wings first and I could just see the poor guy curl in on himself and slowly die inside. I stated I would give them a few more minutes and hurried away. The dinner was very tense and awkward after that. They barely spoke to me and I swear didn't utter another word to each other.

I felt so bad for the guy because he ordered wings since she obviously must have made it clear she wanted them and got torn a new one for it.

HopeDeschain19

No Stalling

I went into the bathroom at a restaurant on Valentine’s Day and made an...interesting discovery. Not only was there a man in the woman's washroom, he was down on one knee, sobbing as he proposed to a woman in a bathroom stall. She said no.

Bunyrabit63

Silent Night

person sitting in front of brown wooden tablePhoto by Ant Rozetsky on Unsplash

I witnessed one of the most awkward dates on Valentine's Day from a table that sat across from us. Both the guy and girl were on their phones the entire night, when the waitress came to get their food order neither even looked up at her to order. I was close enough to them where I would be able to hear their conversation.

Not a word was ever said. The girl at one point abruptly stood up and left (me thinking she was going to ditch the guy) but she came back and sat down. Again no exchange of words, not even a " where did you go?" That couple finished before us, and when the bill came they both awkwardly stared at it and didn't touch it.

The waitress came back 10 minutes later to check on them and said something like " I'll come back when you are ready" with the most uncomfortable smile on her face. Finally, the guy just takes the book bill thing and puts his card in. They leave.

SillyPutty2020

Love Hits The Brakes

I've worked in restaurants for 14 years, so you know my worst Valentine's Day story is going to be a doozy. One time, I had a guy ask me to help him bring the ring and champagne after dinner so he could propose to his girlfriend. Being a woman and wanting to witness the romance, I hid around the corner so I could kind of peek at them.

They were lovey-dovey all through dinner and everything seemed good and I fully expected her to say yes when he asked. She didn’t. In fact, the woman did not react well at all. She told him no and that she was planning on breaking up with him. She added the only reason she was on this date with him is that he said he bought her something special for Valentine's Day.

She thought he was going to buy her the car she asked him for, and she was going to dump him next week. Then she said since you didn't get the car, she's dumping him now and she left! The guy was devastated! I felt so bad for him. I will remember her for the rest of my life because how could I not? What a greedy woman.

Fromhelley

Sweet Ending

We had a classic of a couple coming in all dressed up and out for their romantic dinner, but as the meal went on they gradually got tenser and their muttered argument slowly became very loud. Walking back over to refill drinks or take plates seemed to make it even worse, but I couldn't just leave their (very small) table covered in the stuff.

By dessert, WWIII had broken out, and the evening ended with the guy getting a bowl of chocolate cake and ice cream emptied over his head. I still have no idea what they were arguing about, but the poor guy just sort of shoved a load of money on the table and ran out of there after his partner.

Missingthemiddle

Pizza Prognosticator

I used to work at a very local, family-owned, pizza place. It was packed and we only had two counter girls (myself and my girlfriend, whose dad owned the restaurant). We had a special on these really cute heart-shaped pizzas. One couple ordered one of them and my girlfriend brought it out, but got bumped because it was so crowded.

When she dropped the pizza it broke clean in half which I have to admit was super weird because it was sliced into eighths. The girl who ordered the pizza had a zodiac tattoo and was wearing a bunch of crystals. She got up immediately, pointed at the pizza and started yelling about how it was a sign and stormed out of the store after breaking up with him. We think he dodged a bullet.

Can_bee

Flowing With Emotion

A woman was eight months pregnant. A guy brings her in for Valentine's Day and has the mariachi band sing their love song. He pulls out the expected ring and she says yes. Things looked perfect! Only spicy Mexican food is perhaps not the best choice when your eight months pregnant. She hurriedly shuffled to the restroom five times. The fifth, she...didn't quite make it.

It's a tiny community, so I met them years later at a wedding party. I walked up and introduced myself. I mentioned I had met them years ago. "I was there years ago when y'all got engaged. The emotions were just... flowing that night?" The husband laughed until he cried, the poor wife just covered her face in shame.

TheLightningCount1

Living Large

person holding black smartphone in carPhoto by Jonathan Cooper on Unsplash

I used to work the drive-through at Burger King and I overheard this conversation on Valentine's Day while taking a car's order. Girl: “Get me a #3.” Guy: “It's Valentine's Day baby, you can supersize it!”

MarcOfDeath

Do Or Dine

I was a waiter at The Pasta House. At this time, another server was pregnant and trying to cover as many shifts as possible before she had the baby. In February, she asked if she could work Valentine's Day for me and I said sure. Dinner reservations fell through for my date and me so we decided to see if I could get a table at the restaurant where I worked.

I walked in the door only to see that they were absolutely slammed. The place was FULL of customers. As I came in, my manager said, "Thank God you got my message. She we went into labor and we need you to take tables." I told them I wasn't there to work, but to go on a date. My boss was so mad that I didn't get to work that he fired me. On Valentine's Day!

Icunicu

Dress For Unsuccess

My wife and I were out for Valentine's day and the couple next to us were having a breakup dinner. Oh, and it got worse. They were breaking up right before their impending wedding. She was in an early 90's prom dress. He was in a suit jacket and tie. She was loaded and getting loud about losing the deposit for the reception hall. She finally took a swing at him and the host escorted them both out.

Her poofy dress knocked over a couple of drinks on the way out. What an emotional rollercoaster.

Dc732

Wasted Space

I worked as a hostess at a busy higher-end restaurant. I was working at the front door with my friend. The place was packed and the waitlist was extremely long. A woman came in by herself and was a little upset to have to wait for a table. Since she was only a party of one, we found a space for her at the bar while she waited. It was about an hour wait for a table. While sitting tight for a table, this woman proceeded to get completely wasted.

She kept coming up to us and asking about her table and we kept updating her about the time. While she was standing there, a group of people came in and we sat them right away because they had reservations. She then started yelling at us and dumped her drink on my friend's head. The manager did not kick her out. We still had to accommodate her.

Astuary-Queen

Ex’s and Oh’s

I've seen a doozy or two in my time as wait staff at El Nonno's. The worst one is when my girlfriend came in with my best friend. I thought they were there to surprise me. Nope, this was their way of telling me that they're dating each other now. And I was stuck as their server. But this pales in comparison to when they visited the restaurant the next time.

So my now ex-girlfriend and ex-best friend came in again and had their wires completely crossed. My ex-girlfriend thought she was going to get a marriage proposal, but my ex-friend came to the restaurant to come out of the closet and confess his love for me. Then three was the time my boyfriend and my former boss came in together, and I naively thought this was a surprise.

It turns out they both forgot I worked there and came in to have an affair. My ex-boss was cheating on his wife, and my boyfriend was cheating on me. That restaurant was insane.

ylenoLretsiM

Insult To Injury

man kneeling in front of womanPhoto by Ben White on Unsplash

I was eating in a restaurant on Valentine’s Day and saw this guy kneel to propose. We were all happy for them until the girl said no. She used some lame excuse, something along the lines of, “Mike, I just don’t think that you’re the one, you know? Poor Mike is all sad and gets up to leave. He comes back two minutes later to get his wallet and sees her doing something shocking.

Literally minutes after turning down a proposal, this girl is talking to the waiter at the restaurant and, get this, swapping numbers with him. Mikey grabs some random couples’ drink and throws it on the floor yelling about their year-long relationship ending. He then stormed off and she just grabs the nearest guy and jams her tongue down his throat.

Babybibeluga

A Bad Reaction

As a bartender, I saw a guest in the restaurant throw up on his steak not even a minute after it was placed in front of him. His date kept surprisingly calm for that scenario.

KeysOnATable

Head-Banger

One of our favorite regular customers brought in her boyfriend for the first time and in her excitement, she bumped into a table and knocked someone’s cup off, which isn’t bad but in her haste to pick up the cup she hit her head on the corner of the metal table and cut her forehead open. It looked like a horror movie scene.

We cleaned her up and gave them a stack of free food cards because she’s awesome and we love her.

Courtneymadison

Checking Out

Yesterday in the grocery store I worked at, an angry couple came in right at 11:59 p.m., and tried to buy some booze after midnight. Our machines won’t let us do that after midnight. The couple got angry at each other and kept calling each other names in front of me. Finally, she says: “I’ve had it! I hate you anyway! I’m dumping you!” Guy: “You aren’t hot anyway!” Neither bought anything and scurried off.

Happy Valentine’s Day.

xSevusxBean4y

Not Using His Noodle

So, I had some guy who couldn't understand the concept of ravioli. He kept asking if we served "hollowed out spaghetti" (his words) and stuffed it with lobster. I said no, but we did use pasta. He kept reiterating that he wanted pasta. It finally dawned on me, "Sir, do you think that spaghetti is the Italian word for pasta?"

His date was unimpressed, but I finally get him down for an order of lobster ravioli, even though he still seemed unaware of what he was ordering. After he got his food, ate one of the ravioli, he said to me, like I was the dumbest guy on the planet, "Bro, all you had to do was tell me that they were Boyardee’s. I know what those are."

Shepard_pie

Material Girl

a necklace with a ring on top of itPhoto by Robin Edqvist on Unsplash

I was just getting off of work around 3 p.m. so I headed to do some grocery shopping and I saw a guy looking frantically through his shopping bags so I asked if he needed help with something. He confessed that he had bought a Wal-Mart necklace for his girlfriend because she told him if she didn't get something expensive she would leave him.

He had purchased it, but he had taken his eyes his bags for a moment and when he checked his bags again, the necklace was gone. He told me he had just been laid off and didn't have the heart to tell her no. I felt about an inch tall, helping him try to find a cheap necklace, knowing that no matter how good a guy or how bad a circumstance, some people are so materialistic that someone giving their all is still not enough.

I hate Valentine's day, I wasn't single last night, but boy I feel heartbroken for that guy.

IWasToldYouHadPie

Ring Of Fire

I worked at a fine dining restaurant years ago. A middle-aged guy came up to me, handed me a gorgeous sapphire and diamond ring and asked me to have the pastry chef include it with his companion's dessert. The chef found beautiful blooms to decorate her dessert plate and placed the ring in the middle of one. Her reaction, however, wasn’t what anyone expected.

She saw the ring, took it out of the flower, and placed it on the table. Then, she picked up her fork and started to eat her dessert without saying anything at all. The ring must have been an extravagant apology on his part and she was having none of it. I was tempted to say that if she didn't want the ring, I'd take it off her hands!

Kara_S

A Messy Breakup

I bartend. I'm assuming this couple was on a date. They just ordered their food. In less than 10 minutes of their date, I saw the girl take a drink and throw it on the guy. It hit the people behind him, the walls, and it soaked the floor too. She immediately walked out in tears. The guy's face as he just sat there soaked was indescribable. It was the most movie-like break up I've ever seen happen in real life.

ShadoeCrewsArt

Raw Responses

So the pizza place I work for cuts all the pepperoni pizzas into hearts and we had to make about 450 of those, plus 250 more pizzas, in four hours. Our slogan is “Take and Bake”, so we make the pizzas and you take them and bake them at home. Several times, we had people get their pizzas at the end of the line and go “It’s not cooked.” Deadpan, my coworker looked at them and said “Yes.” to every single one of them.

Also, I took a phone call, and I said “When will you be coming to get your pizza?” and she goes, “Actually I’d like it delivered.” Needless to say, we didn’t deliver it, and she hung up.

Atlas_rl

Sweet Nothings

Last year I worked at a high-end sweets shop. Everything is top-notch as advertised, it was what people were willing to do for it that scared me. Chocolate covered strawberries? $50 per box of four. We couldn't keep them in stock, and more than a few sweaty husbands begged us to make more and throw them in any container we had.

One guy walking in on Valentine's morning offered to pay us double, even without the fancy romantic packaging (we didn't take it). We had also sold a big embroidered heart-shaped box for nearly $100. One guy asked us how much it cost, left, and came back later with his friend. He'd asked him for a loan. To buy V-Day chocolates. Relationships are wild.

Permalink

Abrupt Ending

man standing and holding platePhoto by Louis Hansel on Unsplash

One of my friends is a server at a fancy restaurant in my city. He said that on one Valentine's Day, he walked by a table and heard the boyfriend say, "Well, once again, I'm sorry to disappoint" in a really nasty tone. Things got real awkward and quiet for another 20 minutes, then the couple got their check and quickly walked out.

ChanoMeetGW

Trying To Impress

We had a reservation for a kid’s birthday party on the bus (our restaurant has an old-school bus fitted with retro tables). A preteen couple comes in and the guy gets mad because we told him we couldn’t seat them on the bus due to the reservation. He tried to force his way up after being told repeatedly no. Pretty sure he was trying to impress his date, who watched this all unfold and looked completely mortified.

This One Is Sad...

My friends and I met up at this big food court to hang out. One of my pals got there an hour early and saw this one dude with a bouquet and a giant teddy bear. Almost five hours later we came back to the food court for lunch and the guy was still there with no date. He left shortly after and we watched him make a call, throw the flowers at the ground, pick them back up, and leave.

UnkownAri817

One Man’s Trash...

A few years ago my family and I bought some ice cream and when we went to throw the wrappers in a garbage can on the street, we found a perfectly intact and nice bouquet inside. We got the bouquet out, and we could tell it had been thrown out recently. There was a card but it only had the name of the florist on it. So we took it with us.

We had to meet with my grandma and her boyfriend right after, and they were like ''Why are you bringing us such a nice bouquet out of the blue like that?'' and we were just laughing as we just picked it up from a garbage can. We told them the story and they kept the bouquet for a week.

BlackChimaera

This One Takes The (Cheese)Cake

My wife and I went to Cheesecake Factory for lunch, in a bid to avoid the crowds. Next to us, a dude got down on one knee and proposed (yes, in a Cheesecake Factory). The waitress was filming it, people were watching, she saw the ring and started crying, he smiled, and all looked good. Oh, how wrong we were. When my wife and I left 20 minutes later, she was still crying, covering her face, and he wasn’t smiling anymore.

I couldn’t hear well enough to know what they were talking about, but they kept speaking in low voices. Didn’t look good.

BurrSugar

Forget Me Not

green and red labeled plastic packPhoto by Franki Chamaki on Unsplash

I walked into a grocery store which was pretty packed with frantic-looking Valentine’s Day shoppers. I walked in at the same time as another man with a confused look on his face and I heard him say out loud to himself, “Man, the store is pretty packed for a Friday evening.” Then, we both turn the corner and are met with all of the last minute flower arrangements and Valentine’s cards layout.

I see the man completely freeze and again out loud, he says “Oh.. no... no no no! Today is Valentine’s Day? Oh no!” As he quickly runs to the chocolate section, joining the rest of the panic-stricken dudes with the same looks on their faces. Hope those dudes are all still alive this morning.

Proper_panda748

Location Revealed

I worked a 14-hour shift then wanted to meet up with my boyfriend afterwards to give him his Valentine’s Day gift. He gave me an address and when I showed up, my jaw dropped. I realized it’s a sleazy club (he did not tell me what it was and only gave me an address that I used to call an Uber). So I went inside, balloons and gift in-hand, I found him, dropped off his gift and Uber’d back home alone.

Madcheesediseasse

Bad News And Good News

I had a man who was verbally inappropriate at his wife at my table, and I don’t mean talking over her and being rude. I mean saying things like, “What do you think you’re doing you stupid bimbo?” and, “I’ll give you $36,000 to get out of here right now you piece of slime.” I had four different tables complain about them and we eventually asked them to leave.

I’ve never seen anything like it before, at one point the guy went to the restroom and I went up to the wife and asked if I could help in any way and if she was alright. I’ve never wanted to assault someone in my life more than that piece of garbage. We also had something really good happen when our chef and her girlfriend got engaged at the end of the night! It kind of balanced it out.

Thejabel

“Utter Madness”

I ran the front desk to a hotel solo one Valentine’s Day. It was utter madness. We sold out with reservations, and there was a solid stream of locals coming in expecting to get rooms and then arguments with their disappointed dates when they were informed that we were booked solid. There were complaints from travellers just passing through and an older couple staying for a sports event about "loud amorous noises" emanating from rooms near theirs.

The phones were ringing off the hook from people looking to book Jacuzzi rooms when everyone in the city had been reserved in advance. There was a ridiculously inebriated guy getting dropped off in a taxi expecting to get a room after we'd sold out. He was irate and yelling, "What am I supposed to do now? Go sleep in the streets?"

Someone thought it would be a great idea to dump a trail of glitter and rose petals down an entire hallway leading to their room. And this was just the 3-11 p.m. shift. R.I.P. third shift and the morning housekeepers.

Catona

Table Service

When I was a server/bartender we had a frequent escort come to our restaurant. It was pretty obvious she was an escort as this restaurant was in a wealthy neighborhood and she would be with a different man every time. Once when I served her she said to me I'd make good money if I joined her company. So on Valentine's Day, she came in…

She was wearing big, gold hoop earrings, chest hanging out of a floral dress and fake designer bag. She sat down with an elderly man who I figured was married because he was wearing a wedding band. Anyway, long story short she was doing something inappropriate to the man under the table. The manager kicked her out and she never came back

MPic99

McLove

a mcdonald's sign and a mcdonald's sign on a cloudy dayPhoto by Jonas Augustin on Unsplash

I was in McDonald’s and I see two people at a table having a Valentine’s Day date with a red tablecloth and candles with fancy napkins and their order number card on the table. Honestly, props to them. Looked fun.

Youranoob

Recipe For Disaster

One man, one very angry woman, one very full glass of merlot, and one impeccably white button-up shirt. You can guess what happened.

JimJamSlamBam

Nothing Special

Had a woman come into a fine dining restaurant and tell me she was allergic to allium (garlic, shallots, etc), processed sugar, gluten, and salt. It's a four-course prix fixe menu for $150/person. Her partner had an excellent meal and such a wonderful experience. She essentially had crispy rice, steamed broccoli and cauliflower, pepper rubbed Arctic char, and skipped dessert. She did not have a wonderful experience.

I would have felt bad for her, but we go out of our way to give them the menu ahead of time, call to confirm that you're okay with the reservation and menu, and approve that the $150 price was legit. But she just kept throwing a stink because she must have expected us to create an entirely new menu just for her and it should have been just as amazing as the other food our 250 guests were eating. In the end, I charged her full price and got that 20% tip.

A note for those who don't restaurant often: Don't assume you're special on a holiday where everyone thinks they're special. You're not that special.

RadClima

Faking It

I was at a fast-food place alone on Valentine's Day because I'm a lonely guy. The dude in front of me straight up asked the cashier if the cook could make the best looking burger possible because he forgot he was cooking for his wife and wanted to pass it off at home as though he made it for a romantic dinner. Oh, buddy.

SheZowRaisedByWolves

Skin Deep

We're in the last hour of service, but we've about emptied out. A couple sat at the bar for about 30 minutes before ordering potato skins two minutes before closing and then asked me to remake them twice. They gave me some dirty looks when I put all my 'go home' stuff near them, so I said, "I'm not sure if anyone told you, but it's my Valentine's day too".

Psiloryben

Phone Fail

selective focus photography of person using smartphonePhoto by freestocks on Unsplash

A guy and girl come in. They order food and everything seems all good, then the girl leaves her phone and goes to the bathroom. The guy picks up her phone and starts snooping and the girl comes back and catches him red-handed. She is understandably angry and asks for their food to go. When she gets it she socks him in the chest and leaves. He paid for everything and quietly left immediately after.

SentriCast

Love Requires Patience

I work at a pizza place, where we served heart-shaped pizzas for Valentine’s Day. They took twice as long to put in a pan, and nobody was allowed to order ahead of time. Online orders weren’t going through properly so we had some customers waiting for their pizza for a solid 40-50 minutes. Short-staffed on delivery drivers as well. Overall pretty stressful.

Izeec

A Waiting Game

A group sitting at a table next to mine had an absolute meltdown because their food took too long to arrive. Most of them just left and the last few asked if they could just box it up and leave when the food arrived. They got it all on the house.

MistaBarnacles

Breaking The Silence

I was working in an extremely quiet, high end bar a couple of years ago, one couple was sitting in a corner booth having a screaming argument. Very, very awkward.

Delicious_explosions

Don’t Make Eye Contact

I've seen too many Valentine’s Day couples who spend 99% of the time looking at their phones. So sad. So lonely.

Freaknastyxphd

Take The Good With Bad

burger with lettuce and tomato on white ceramic platePhoto by Juan Rojas on Unsplash

I work at a small local Mexican restaurant. I can't think of any disaster that happened at work for Valentine’s Day, but my girlfriend did dump me before I left for work. Then a girl from one of my tables left her number so the universe is looking out for me.

Henred_

Love Hurts

Worst Valentine's Day I ever saw? Easy. I once witnessed a full-blown divorce discussion, in which the woman left and the man finished the last three courses of their tasting menu when she waited for a taxi in our lounge.

NicolBolassy

Valentine’s Lost

My mom has been a waitress for more than 25 years and has worked her fair share of Valentine's Days. She says she's sen a lot of sad stuff, but it's the worst when little old men or women come in and eat alone because their husband or wife had passed recently and they just sit there and cry. My mom will sit down with them and give them hugs.

Irlyneedtopisslmao

What’s The Problem?

I had a brief stint as a waiter in high school. This one couple looks very sweet and loving, with no apparent problems. The girl got down on her knee and asked him to marry her. The man's response was chilling. He started laughing hysterically and explained to her that proposing is a man's job, not a woman's. She was furious.

She started screaming about how inappropriate that was, then got her stuff and stormed out. He looked completely bewildered.

Jacobr1020

Misunderstandings

Her: Man, this is a great steak!

Him: Did you say this is a great date?

Her: ....no

RavesWithHerself

Closeup of bride and groom's hands
Luis Tosta/Unsplash

A couple proclaiming their vows in front of loved ones is the ultimate affirmation of love.

So when the day of the wedding finally arrives for a couple after months of planning, there's a lot of pressure for things to go smoothly.

And while for the most part, the joyous day of celebration culminates in plenty of emotions and tears that is remembered and reminisced about.

Unless it wasn't the perfect wedding day ever. Because sometimes, things just don't go as planned due to various unforeseen circumstances.

Kind of like the ones strangers online shared when Redditor nonoriginalname42 asked:

"What's the worst thing you've seen happen at a wedding?"

Choose members of your wedding party wisely.

Otherwise, the following might happen.​

Not The Best Man For The Job

"Best man starts off speech with, 'I've seen *the groom* with a lot of girls over the years...'. You know the cliché speech where it goes on to say but you're the best for him, etc. etc. Turns out the bride and groom were dating long before the best man even became a friend. Essentially outed him as a degenerate cheater. She was super pissed."

– Wallace2727

Oops

"The best man giving the toast at the reception and saying the groom’s first wife’s name instead of the current one."

– pharmhound

Downhill After The Upchuck

"Matron of honor throwing up just as the officiant was asking if anyone objected."

– Amiiboid

"My brother was in a wedding where as the bride said I do, the groom threw up all over her due to the bachelor party the night before."

– ParsonJackRussell

Unfortunately, you can't expect family to all be on their best behavior in these unfortunate situations.

Rehearsal Dinner Disaster

"Bride and groom got in a huge drunken fight after the rehearsal dinner, it escalated to include shouting and name-calling between both families, then the wedding got cancelled the day of."

– jkvincent

Drunk Dad-In-Law

"It started super late, it was super hot out, the future father-in-law was wasted and left before it started. He then showed back up in a red bath robe and his gun. Cops got called. It was a whole thing."

"Oh, and then after the reception we were all trying to convince one of our friends not to drive. He insisted he was fine... Drove his truck into the river."

– MLaw2008

Because Priorities

"I was at a wedding in rural Wisconsin and both the bride and groom were members of the local all-volunteer fire department. Almost everyone at the wedding proceeded to get quite drunk, except the bride, who doesn't drink. At some point, there was an emergency call to the fire department (not a fire, but a medical call). The wedding was not far from the fire station, so the bride rushed over and, along with one other volunteer who was on call, drove an ambulance to an emergency call."

"In her wedding dress."

– GingerStu

The bride and groom aren't always the most exemplary role models.

Ghosting The Guests

"I went to a friend of mines Aunts wedding. It was a second marriage for both of them so they wanted something 'relaxed.'”

"They threw it on one of the family members property and had all the guest do grueling manual labor to get the property ready for the wedding. We were literally landscaping in the Texas summer."

"I was climbing trees to hang lights, we laid sod, we laid down stone for a walk way, my friends mom cooked food for days and made all of the floral arrangements. We were setting up tables and chairs, you name it. We worked from 6am until almost midnight for 3 days."

"Finally the wedding happens and it’s beautiful. I was actually really proud of what we had done. It looked professional."

"We go to cut the cake and the couple is no where to be found. They just left without telling anyone and went back to their hotel. I was offended by that because we had worked SO HARD for them and they didn’t even stay for the entire wedding."

"We never got a thank you or any appreciation for it. Other people were upset too and took their gifts back before leaving."

– littlemybb

Going Nowhere Fast

"Groom wanted cigarettes so he snuck out and tried to drive to a convenience store a minute away. Drove straight into a telephone pole and was arrested for DUI and spent the night in jail."

– mdreb18

Weddings have an element of surprise because no matter how well things are planned, anything can happen.

Hey Mr. DJ

"My brother's second wedding. For the first dance, the DJ played the wrong song for half a second before stopping, and starting the right song. The Bride disappeared for 2 hours afterwards because 'the wedding was ruined.'"

– Upper-Job5130

"I wonder if he’ll hire the same DJ for his third wedding."

– the_beat_labratory

"Oh God I can't deal with people like that. I have a family member who does this. The tiniest little thing goes a touch awry, moment of awkwardness maybe, then back on track for a great day. But then they go and ACTUALLY ruin the day but throwing a tantrum...."

– CowsArouse

When Duty Calls

"I was supposed to be best man at a friend's wedding. At 7:30 AM, the morning of the wedding the groom called and said the wedding was off. It wasn't going to happen. I never talked to or saw the guy again. He signed up for the army and within a few days he was just gone."

– fredzout

There's so much pressure built-up from the anticipation before couples say, "I do."

So, it's not surprising that we all hope things go without a hitch before couples get hitched.

But don't count on it.

Unless you plan a small, casual wedding or reception with only your closest friends and family following a City Hall ceremony.

That's how my husband and I got married.

There can be perfection in simplicity, and that's how we roll.