With the news being what it's been lately (and by "lately" we mean for the past several years) the conversation about gun sales and control comes up a lot. We tackle a lot of different angles from a hypothetical perspective - but it's rare that we talk to people who actually sell guns.
Now we are.
Reddit user Claim_to_lame asked:
People who work in gun shops, what are some red flags you've seen that made you deny a sale?
Legally buying a weapon in the United States is shamefully easy - but that doesn't mean there aren't times when a salesperson declines to sell a weapon to someone.
These are some of their stories.
The Consultation
As they were talking with me about various aspects of the purchase they would occasionally consult with the person that was with them. There was no person with them.
Skateboarders
GiphyWhen I was younger, I landed a seasonal position as a gun counter person at a local gun store. I never actually received a training or anything on when and why to deny a sale. We were told to only deny a sale if it was a obvious "Straw-Buy," or a the background check came back as a no-go.
One morning, about 15 minutes after we opened, 2 females enter the shop. They stood at the door for a moment and I greeted them and asked if they needed help. One of them responded that they were looking for a gun for home defense. I said sure we had plenty for that purpose.
I began to show her some handguns and some 20 gauge pump shotguns. We chatted for a minute, but the other woman had not said a word the entire time. The other woman had not even glanced at her the entire time.
I asked if she's ever owned or fired a gun before, and she said no. So I suggested maybe attending some courses we offered right there in the shop. She declined and wanted to pick up a gun that day. She eventually settled on a .22 semi automatic pistol. I tried to explain to her that the .22 LR is a poor choice for self defense. It's actually better for a small game use and not effective for assailants.
I elaborated that while deadly, as any firearm bullet is, it was less likely to be a stopping round unless she was able to land precise shots, perfectly, every time. She argued that the .22 was perfect for what she wanted it for. Whatever, I can't change her mind and it was a fairly pricey 22 pistol, so I was happy to take the commission. As I had her take a seat in our back room and complete a background check, I had begun to box up the weapon.
The quiet woman approached me.
Turned out the woman was her sister and was very against the woman purchasing a gun. She had actually tagged along to try and convince her otherwise. She very quietly told me to not sell the woman a gun because she really wanted the firearm to shoot at some local kids on her street that skateboard near her property.
So THAT'S why she choose the .22. She saw it as a benefit that it was less likely to kill, and I had essentially argued for more reasons for her to settle on the .22. So I made the call, and decided to veto the sale. Luckily for me, she actually checked YES on the line that asks if you have ever been declared mentally defunct. Go figure.
I told the woman that I can't sell her the gun because she filled it out that way and that her owning a firearm would be illegal. So she just left the store, without a further word. Super weird.
Test It On Some People
I can tell you one time when I almost got denied for purchasing a rifle.
It was a bolt action .308 made by savage. The rifle came with a scope, not great but just a little extra over their standard rifle in that package.
The store was over an hour away and so I invited my younger brother to keep me company during the ride. He was 17 or 18 at the time. As I was wrapping up the sale we had friendly banter back and forth with the salesman and I was talking about videos of several men pegging pop cans at 1000m with this gun.
My brother, for whatever stupid reasons I can only attribute to being young and dumb says "yea we need to test it on some people."
Dumbfounded, I just looked at him and I was just thinking, what the hell why would you say that? The salesman was understanding and very kindly replied "you need to be careful with that language I can refuse this sale to you."
I politely apologized and reprimanded my brother for saying something that ridiculous.
- -a---q-p
Problems
I had one guy who was a resident from another state come in and say that he wanted to buy a CZ P-07. I told him I legally can't sell pistols to out of state residents and he got pissed and stormed off. Maybe 20 minutes later he comes back with his brother (who was an in-state resident) and as soon as his brother walks up to the counter he points to the EXACT same gun and says "I want to buy that one!"
He didn't even ask to hold it or look at it first. That's a clear straw purchase. I told them to kick rocks, I'm not going to break the law for you.
I had another guy try to buy a shotgun and answered yes to having been convicted of a felony. I asked him if he was actually a felon (you'd be surprised how many guys accidentally check the wrong box). This fool looked at me and said "yeah, is that a problem?" Dude. Yes its a problem.
Bullet Proof
A friend of mine sold guns at a sporting goods store a while ago. He had to deny a guy a gun sale of an AR-15 because the customer was wearing a bullet proof vest. People don't just walk around with bullet proof vests unless they're looking for trouble.
Evidence
GiphyGun store I worked at had a varied and diverse clientele. Usually that meant that more law abiding citizens were looking to purchase firearms, but the usual wacko or two would come by. The one I remember clearest was the guy who came in and wanted to see only two types of firearms, a pistol grip shotgun and a large frame revolver.
As I was asking him what he wanted those specific types of firearms for, since they aren't really the greatest for home defense or personal protection, he tells me that he wants a revolver because it won't leave evidence at the scene of a shooting. I noped out of that one and told him we didn't have the type of equipment he was in search of. I passed along his name to the local police but nothing ever came of it.
Not Shooting The Wife
I used to work as management in Walmart and as such had to be licensed to do any job in the store, including firearm sales.
There had been many cases of background checks not clearing, which is normal. One that I made a judgment call to refuse, however, was the guy who kept joking that he most certainly was not under any circumstances going to use this .22 rifle to shoot his wife.
You'd get all sorts of rednecks who think they're hilarious while they're gearing up for the next hunting season, but by the third time he brought up not shooting his wife, I just shut down the entire process. Had to have him removed from the building after his breakdown turned verbally aggressive.
- JBP47
The Coming Race War
I almost got through the sale with one guy who wanted to buy a handgun. He was a little jittery and weird, but not quite enough to refuse a sale. But then he started talking about the possibility of the coming apocalypse, and the inevitable race war.
He mentioned how every race has committed genocide at some point. He didn't hate any particular race, but obviously we all have to stick together if it comes down to it. I explained that, despite our matching skin tones, he and I were not on the same page. Our store was not going to provide him with a firearm. He actually left without any argument.
A Manager's Approval
So this man comes in at 9:30, 30 minutes before closing. He has his two kids with him, and both of them look uncomfortable and won't make eye contact. The man is acting a little strange, too, and I feel pretty uneasy about it already, but I chalk all that up to maybe they're just a socially awkward family.
So, as we're doing the paperwork, the man is telling me about his life and what all is going on in it currently. Then he says he's divorcing his wife, and starts complaining about all the things he doesn't like about her.
His kids still haven't spoken a word or looked up, but they're so uncomfortable at this point that they're constantly shifting their arms and legs. I pretend to keep filling out the form while listening closely to what the man is saying. He mumbles under his breath, alllllmost where I couldn't hear him,"sometimes I could just kill her."
I was an 18 year old girl, completely alone on that entire half of the store, and I was flipping out big time inside. I pretended not to hear him, and kept "filling out the form" while actually cancelling it. Then I said "ok I'm at the point where I need a manager's approval for the form to go through. One second and let me get him and get the gun out of the back room."
So I go to the managers' office, and I tell my manager, "There's a man wanting to buy a gun, and I think he's going to kill his wife with it."
He says, "Ok, let me handle it and you stay in here until I come back."
By the time he comes back, it's already half an hour past when my shift ended. He said he had to get the police to escort the man out of the store. I believe that he was arrested but I can't entirely remember since it was a good many years ago.
That memory still scares me, because what if I hadn't have heard him? I was the only thing standing between him buying a gun that night to shoot his wife. I still wonder about what ever happened to them.
Blowback
I used to sell firearms when I was in college. Only a few years ago though. 2016-2018.
There were a few times where I denied people that weren't already denied by the background check. Probably the most absurd was a guy that asked me: "What gun will have the most blowback if somebody comes in my house? I want to see him fly in another room like the movies."
That was an auto-deny from me and contacted my manager. Not sure what happened after that. Usually we would call all the other gun stores in the area (within an hr half drive) and share information.
The ATF Call
A few years back I had a guy come in looking for a semi automatic pistol, he knew exactly what he wanted and after holding it he confirmed that was the one he wanted to purchase. I handed him some paperwork to fill out and instead of taking the pen, he snapped his fingers and this lady came from one of the aisles to fill out the paperwork. This was obviously fishy, so before I denied the sale I asked for his ID to make a photocopy.
I then proceeded to tell him that I couldn't continue with the transaction because it was obvious he was trying to do a straw purchase and he told me that he could do whatever he wanted and that I HAD to sell him the gun.
A little more back and forth continued and I eventually told him if he doesn't leave I was calling the police.
He left and I sent his info to a local ATF agent. Not 20 minutes later I got a call asking for all the info I had on him, when he arrived, when he left and what direction he went.
Turns out the guy was wanted for being a suspect for several murders and they couldn't track him down, hence why he wanted someone else to buy the gun.
30 George Zimmermans
My brother owns a small gun shop. He gets a disturbing amount of people who think that buying a gun grants them some police powers. As in: "OK, I'm going to buy this gun and then head downtown so I can chase off those homeless guys by the Starbucks."
As my brother put it: "I never met George Zimmerman but I've had at least 30 of them come through my store."
Negative Yelp Review
GiphyThe buyer brought in his 10 year old son with him during our Glock sale day. He was being very discreet around his son, like he didn't want the boy to know he was buying a gun. He asked me to see "a Glock." I released the mag and cleared the G17, and handed him the gun.
He holds its with both hands viewing the side, while pointing in his sons direction, and click - at his son.
I stared dumbfounded for a minute and then said: "You just pulled the trigger and your son is standing right there."
He said "Yeah but the gun wasn't loaded."
I countered by taking the gun back and refusing to sell him a gun unless he took a crash course with our shop instructor. He agreed as long as it would be quick enough where his son wouldn't notice.
We asked him to leave and gained a negative yelp review out of it too.
Sleazeball Boss
I've wanted to deny sales back years ago when I worked at one, but my boss was a sleazeball and wouldn't let me.
Biggest time I wanted to deny? Guy came in, wanted like 12 Phoenix Arms pot-metal $75 little .25 ACP pistols. It was obvious he was going to resell. He also bought a TEC-9 and a KG-99.
I took my boss aside and was like "You're not really going to allow this are you? It's pretty obvious he's going to resell or something. Something definitely illegal is going to happen."
His response: "Pshh you don't know that. There's nothing illegal about buying that many guns."
I knew that but it's still suspect as hell especially with those cheap little pocket pistols. I guess the redeeming thing is even since he passed his background check, he bought more than one pistol in X amount of time (right then and there) so a special form is filled out to be sent to the ATF to check him out as a way to help stop illegal underworld dealers, etc. So I don't doubt an ATF field agent showed up at his place and asked a ton of questions.
Saving His Son
I had come in to my local gun shop/range early to be the first customer because the store gets absolutely slammed on the weekend. A nervous looking older gentleman is also outside waiting. I can tell something is off about him. I enter and start talking to the salesman, and the other guy is hovering. My curiosity is peaked. The salesman starts talking to him and I can only make out certain parts. "Yes we know,.... its been passed down to everyone.... you don't need to worry sir... he will not purchase one from here...."
And then I figured it out. This poor father was trying to keep his suicidal son from buying a firearm.
He looked like he was ready to break down in tears. The salesmen all understood the issue and were very kind. As a father I just wanted to hug, or pat on the shoulder, and tell him he was doing the right thing. He left the store to go to another firearms store. His eyes were watery. This man loved his son, and was about to go to every place around and ask them not to sell to his son. It hit my black heart in the little feels it has.
Mom Vs. The Salesman
Not an employee, but a customer.
I had decided to join the trap team at my high school along with my friends. I was only 15 or 16 at the time, so my mother came along to actually buy the shotgun for me.
We go in, look around, consult the employee, and decide on a Benelli supernova (fantastic all purpose gun if anyone is looking). My mom fills out the 2a, passes the background check, and is about to pay when the employee (who's been helping us the entire time) says "Sorry I can't sell you this gun. Buying it for your son would be considered a straw purchase, which is illegal."
After we argue back and forth a little bit, the owner of this small mom and pop shop comes out and asks what the trouble is. The employee tells him the situation, at which point the owner informs in a scolding-type or manner that it's perfectly legal for a parent to purchase a gun for their children as long as they live in the same house.
The employee, slightly embarrassed, finishes up our purchase and we got the gun. I don't blame the employee, in fact I admire him trying to do the right thing, but I was a little frustrated with the confusion and delay. I still frequent that store and have had no further problems. Definitely one of my favorite gun shops as the employees are very knowledgeable and friendly, and have a big husky that's always a treat to pet!
This Sale Fail
Not a buy but an attempt to sell a gun.
I spent lots of time at gun shops and shows. Once at a gun show, a dealer who was a friend told us to watch the action toward the front.
A young man had come to his table looking to sell a gun. This was a pricey high end pistol and the guy was looking for just $200 out of it. For reference, it was worth more like $2000.
Dealer probes a little about how the young man had obtained this gun, but got lots of vague "I bought it last year" sorts of answers. Dealer says he cannot afford it. And as soon as the young man walks away, he flags over one of the police officers at the show. We watched as the police verified the gun was stolen and were arresting the young man.
- debbieae
"Just Wait"
My boss was finishing the background check and decided to let the customer and his friend test fire in the range while they wait. They pass the check, but as he goes into tell them, he overhears them saying things like, "Ya, he's gonna get what's coming to him. Just wait, he's dead the next time I see him."
Boss pretended the check didn't FAIL, but that the problem is on the checkers' end. They'll have to come back tomorrow.
As soon as they leave, boss called the cops and every other dealer in town to warn them. Cops picked the two guys up later that day.
- palauni1
"Shotty"
Almost. Didn't have to actually deny the sale though. Would have if I got the opportunity, but it didn't get that far.
Him: "I need a gun"
Me: "... what kind?"
Him: "Shotty"
Me: "They're on the rack over there"
**5 minutes later**
Him: *sets gun on counter, displays wad of cash. Hands me $400* "here"
Me, declining the money: "actually, we need you to do a background check first"
Him: "what's a background check?"
Me: "basically we check for any felonies or other things that would prevent you from owning a gun."
Him: *immediately leaves*
Home Defense
Some meth head came in asking "whats your most deadly revolver?"
I then said "is it for home defense?"
and he did the classic movie cliche "uhhh yeah... home defense."
Denied the sale right away.
Ranch House Or Town House
At a gun show in Texas. I wanted a new carry gun, so I was browsing the handguns when a couple next to me decide they want a nice Kimber 9mm. And why not? It's a great-looking gun. They start to fill out the paperwork, and get into a HUGE fight with each other about which address to use. Both are in Texas, so no out-of-state issues.
The lady behind the counter is trying to tell them to just pick one, it legitimately does not matter, but they get angrier and angrier about whether to "register" it to the ranch house or the town house. The lady tries to explain that there is no registry and it could not, ever, possibly matter, when the guy gets so frustrated he screams at the counter lady, "THIS IS TOO GODDAMN DIFFICULT JUST TO BUY A F*CKING GUN!"
She suspends the sale, tells the guy he's obviously of the wrong temperament to own a firearm, hopes he doesn't have others, and calls security.
The wife is now angry that they're NOT buying a gun, and I wanted to tell her that based on the scene I just saw, someone is saving her life or his and keeping the other out of prison.
Do Not Pass Go
GiphyI've overheard a co-worker working the firearms department be asked, "I need to see if it fits in this backpack first."
A school backpack.
Cue me standing behind him and waving at my co-worker silently with that "Do not pass Go, do not collect $200" wave you do with your hands kinda crossing, shaking my head, mouthing 'No no, HELL no'.
He didn't get sold anything, and the store owner alerted the ATF and FBI after we briefed him on what happened. No idea what happened to him, but CCW or not, he wasn't getting a gun from us.
People Explain Which States Folks Should Skip On A Cross-Country Road Trip Across The U.S.
America is quite a place.
There is so much to see, perhaps too much.
And as much as there is to see there is a ton not to see.
Just like any country and continent, there are skippable places.
And skippable isn't a bad thing.
Redditor ArdianNuhijiwanted some advice about traveling this great land of ours.
"What parts/states of America should be avoided during a cross country road trip as a European?"
I'm not a fan of super hot, so watch out in the South. The heat can kill you.
2 Weeks
renee zellweger chicago GIF by MIRAMAXGiphy"We just did a road trip from Chicago down through St Louis and Memphis to New Orleans. Then back to Chicago through Huntsville, Nashville and Indianapolis. Took 2 weeks. We've previously done road trips on the east and west coasts and I did a Miami-San Francisco-Seattle-Vancouver-Chicago-New York trip back in 2000."
"The interstates are great when you need to get between cities fast but it's fun to take the smaller roads and stop in the places you pass through. In some states there's a lot of nothing but then it's even more fun when you can stop for lunch in a great diner in a tiny town. Depending where you're from you might be alarmed by the poor road design and poor driving."
"Be aware that there can be sharp exits and traffic lights on huge wide highways. Exits on the wrong side (from the fast lane) are pretty common on urban interstates. 'Welcome Centers' at rest areas at state borders are (in my experience) often staffed by really lovely and helpful people. Have fun!"
bature
'Deliverance'
"As a Canadian: We took a road trip down to Mississippi one time, just me, my ex and a friend of ours. We decided to take the backroads there instead of taking the Interstate, so we wound up in lots of places in rural US. Quite frankly, as a guy roaming in the middle of nowhere with two college girls... I never felt unsafe."
"There were some interesting 'Deliverance' moments, like when we stopped at a gas station in the middle of nowhere to get gas and hit the head. Two guys wearing only overalls, chewing chaw sitting out front, greeting us with only grunts and spits. It was like something right out of a movie and we were expecting to get skinned... but everything was fine."
b-monster666
DO NOT SPEED THROUGH SMALL TOWNS!!!
"As far as danger, you're not gonna be in any danger, unless you go hunting for bears or wind up in the ghettos of Detroit. Don't drive into NYC (mainly Manhattan island) the traffic is awful and parking will cost you a pretty penny (Pence? Man, I'm American.) DO NOT SPEED THROUGH SMALL TOWNS. Police get bored and they will pull you over faster than you can hit the brake."
"On the interstate you can match speed with the rest of traffic, but good rule of thumb is to not go more than 10 mph over speed limit. Finally, avoid side-of-the-highway tourist traps, like random moccasin stores or giant rubberband balls. They're not dangerous, but the products will be subpar and overpriced. (I'm looking at you, Osceola Cheese Factory)."
Napotad
It's so Big!
"I feel like I should warn you that many Europeans vastly underestimate how large the USA is. You could drive for 7 hours in Texas and still be in Texas. It would take you three days to get from one end of California to the other. Pick which states you want to go to, plan your route that way, plan for it to take at least a week."
"Edit: because some Europeans got pressed in the replies, no, I’m not insinuating that you don’t know geography. I’m warning you about the mistakes that European tourists tend to make while visiting the US. You’re not gonna road trip from New York, to Las Vegas, to San Francisco, to Seattle. It’s just not going to happen."
Faeiey
Several Destinations
Lets Go Falling GIF by BARMERGiphy"Nowhere is really worthy of 'avoiding,' the actually dangerous areas aren’t places tourists would really seek out anyway."
"I suppose certain areas could be boring, depending on your preferences. Really I would advise the US is vast, so pick like 6 or seven destinations and do research. Don’t try to see the whole country in one go. I’ve lived here for decades and haven’t seen half of it."
Karatekan
It's all a give and take. Every road has a different journey.
Just Blah
Spongebob Squarepants Reaction GIF by NickelodeonGiphy"The biggest threat is boredom. Are you sure you don’t want to road-trip the east coast and then fly to Vegas and then drive up the California coast? I have driven cross country twice and it’s a lot of hours of nothing. Then maybe you see the worlds largest baseball bat or rubber band ball and then several more hours of nothing."
SnoootBoooper
Scenery
"If you're interested in scenery, the upper west has some phenomenal mountains to see. Montana and Idaho offer some spectacular scenery in my opinion."
FreakOnALeash72
"Only thing I'd warn about Montana or other more rural states is that understand that you won't always find a hotel for miles, cell service can disappear for like 100 miles, and GPS does not necessarily work off of highways. You don't want to go up some dirt road and end up stranded in hot/cold conditions with no idea where you are and no cell service."
Violet624
good sense of the character...
"If you’re doing a road trip, keep in mind that the huge main arteries (like I-95 on the east coast) usually wont give you a good sense of the character of cities or the towns. Those large interstates are really just for traveling, and to get you from one place to another quickly with food, gas and restrooms easily accessible. Most of the really interesting stuff in a town or a city will be on local roads and highways. Don’t judge a place based solely on what you can see from an interstate!"
ask*ich
Awesome
"'I support you OP. Quit listening to this There's nothing to see in the middle' bulls**t. If all you want to do is the same touristy crap as everyone else, then sure, see NY, California, and go home. But if you're coming here to say you've experienced American life, go out in the middle. Hang out with the locals and let them show you why they're still there. There's so much awesome crap to see that's completely underappreciated."
scottevil110
Just Go Out There
turning up road trip GIFGiphy"None of them; every state is unique and has amazing parts to them. They also have shi**y parts, but most of them places tourists would want to go aren’t bad. No tourist is going to some small racist town in the country or going to visit the shi**y part of the city."
AcidSweetTea
Get out there kids and see it all. Be safe.
What would you add or remove from this list? Let us know in the comments section!
It's nearly spooky season!
You know what that means: Time to curl up on the couch, make some popcorn, and watch some horror movies.
But what if you're not much of a horror aficionado and you're just getting started out?
Are there any classics you might want to check out?
What about anything new that's received good reviews? Where to begin?
People told us about the best horror films they've seen after Redditor AltruisticPower asked the online community,
"What is the best horror movie you have ever seen?"
Pet Sematary (1989)
"Pet Sematary. The fact that a possessed cat is the main antagonist is a really unique concept."
Daddy_Smokestack
Unfortunately, I don't particularly care for either version of this tale because neither one has managed to even capture the feeling of dread that is so pervasive in the book, but there is no denying that the original film certainly leaves you with an impression.
The Blair Witch Project (1999)
The Blair Witch Project.
I know the whole "found footage" genre has been done to death now, but this was one of the first movies to adopt this method and it worked beautifully. You have to remember that this movie came out before the internet/social media....so when the marketing material claimed it was real, there really wasn't much of a way to disprove it.
I still remember leaving the cinema as a 15-year-old shaking with fear. A superbly made, suspenseful horror movie which still holds up to this day."
massivebumwizard
It seems cool to hate this movie now, but you know what? I love it to pieces. It's incredible, and one of the only movies to give me chills even while watching it in broad daylight.
The Shining (1980)
"Since it's a Kubrick movie it deserves to be watched on a larger screen with decent speakers. Lights off. It's probably better watched in the dead of winter as well. It's the kind of movie that's a whole mood.
The book is also one of King's best and it's so different from the movie that both are great in their own right."
forman98
A classic that I never get tired of. I've seen it many, many times and it's brilliant.
Saw (2004)
"Saw. I think what made Saw so great was that it was just an ordinary guy doing these things. No monsters, no supernatural stuff. That's what made it so scary."
[deleted]
The first Saw blew my mind when I was younger. Unfortunately, the sequels, save for perhaps the first one, were pretty lackluster. It's amazing this series has gone on so long.
Halloween (1978)
"I think the original Halloween is probably about as perfect as a horror could ever be. It's perfect in every way."
AlfaBetaZulu
It's a pretty excellent film and it holds up for a reason. Rewatchable as hell!
The Thing (1982)
"John Carpenter's The Thing is my favorite. It has fantastic effects, the story keeps you on the edge of your seat, and the characters are great and believable."
PhobosIsDead
Perhaps the finest horror remake out there? It's possible, friends.
Ghostwatch (1992)
"Ghostwatch is a slow burn but amazing. The entire movie is done as a British television programme about a haunted house."
joskester4789
One of my favorites. It is remarkably unnerving, particularly the very last scene.
Lake Mungo (2008)
"Lake Mungo got into my head and won't move out. It's the kind of film that requires a second viewing."
I wanted to love this one, but did not. It was fine. There is another film, Megan Is Missing, which provides a much worse shock in the final third of the film.
Angst (1983)
"Angst - I don't know if I can call this is a "horror movie" in the traditional sense. It's absolutely horrific, sure. But it's a pure art film. A f**** up one. The plot isn't complicated, and it's not long. I won't "ruin it" but suffice to say it's probably the most accurate depiction of a sexual sadist you're ever going to watch."
This one is truly a sight for the ages. Not for the faint of heart, at all. I don't say that mildly.
Alien (1979)
"I was around 8 when I tried seeing the first Aliens movie. That first chest burster scared the s**t out of me."
[deleted]
And Aliens takes the series in an even crazier direction than the first one! Still, nothing can compare to that original.
Well, what are you waiting for? You might want to queue these up, whether you've seen them already or not. A good horror movie is always worth revisiting, even long after it stops scaring you!
Have some recommendations of your own? Tell us more in the comments below!
People Share The Most Insane Lies Their Significant Other Ever Told Them
It's never fun to be lied to, particularly by your significant other.
Sometimes we discover that they were lying to us in order to surprise us for our birthday or anniversary, making the dishonesty easily forgiven.
In other instances, however, their lies were all to cover up something much less celebratory.
For better or worse, some people's partners are very convincing liars.
Others however are simply unable to keep a secret, and their stories or explanations to cover things up only make things worse.
Redditor CanadianKiss was eager to hear the most absurd and ridiculous lies people ever heard from their significant others, leading them to ask:
"What was the most insane lie an S/O told you?"
Keep Your Panties On!
"After I found out my wife was having an affair, I snooped through her email, saw she bought 5 pairs of lingerie over the past several months that I had never seen."
"When confronted about it she said she liked the progress she has been making in the gym and just wanted to see how she looked in them and threw them away after she tried them on."- DrMilzie
False Credentials
"Told me she was a veterinarian and even had a degree hanging on her wall."
"My parents own a small farm so I asked her for advice and the answers were always questionable."
"My gut was telling me something is off."
"Googled her school and asked some basic questions that anyone who went should know."
"She didn’t."
"It was all a lie."- Auditory_Whiplash
It's All About The Anticipation...
"That there was spaghetti waiting for me when I get back."
"There was no spaghetti waiting for me."- IWannaBeMade1
Why Bother?
"That he didn’t like honey when he did."
"It’s insane to me because what’s the point?"
"lmaooo."- astroqualityyy·
Some People Don't Even Try...
“'I got gonorrhea from cutting myself on a broken bong'."
"Survey says, that’s a lie!"- CautiousOwl02
True Love Weed GIF by GIPHY Studios OriginalsGiphyGaslighting 101
"That I was the one who was destroying our marriage for being suspicious all the while she was the one cheating."-shenanigansgalores
Faking Cancer? Seriously?
"I broke up with this dude after only a couple of dates."
"A week later he hits me up asking to take me to lunch bc he just found out he had cancer."
"He tricked me into a year-long relationship based on a cancer lie."
"I believe karma is a b*tch though."- crunchyleafs_
"She called me three months after we broke up to tell me I was right."
"'All that tanning has given me skin cancer'."
"I asked which kind."
"She couldn't remember what the doctor called it."
"I asked, 'Is it lymphoma?'"
"She said, 'Yeah, that's the one.'"
"I hung up."- Spodson
Family Issues...
"That she was an orphan."
"Her family was very surprised."- Garlic_Bread_865589
orphan GIFGiphyThe key to a healthy relationship is honesty, barring of course covering up a surprise which will make your partner happy.
And when the only way to stay in a relationship is through lies and deceit, it's probably time to start re-evaluating how well things are going.
Ironically, that's when it becomes time to really be "honest" with yourself.
People Describe The Most Statistically Unlikely Thing That's Ever Happened To Them
Getting struck by lighting, winning the lottery, meeting someone else with your exact name who also shares your birthday.
For better or worse, the likelihood of any of these things happening to you is incredibly small.
And yet, there are still a handful of lucky, or unlucky, people who have experienced one, or all, of the above.
Even if the odds are against us by a significant margin, some people will go through an experience which they would never in a million years dream would happen to them.
Leaving them with quite some stories to tell.
Redditor scared4lyf was curious to hear more about the statistically unlikely experiences people have gone through, leading them to ask:
"What statistically rare thing happened to you?"
Miracle Birth
"My birth is in a medical journal and my mom still gives me crap about it almost 40yrs later."
Due to my mom's low rib cage and high uterus, I was stuck in the bottom of her rib cage."
"The doctors were convinced I didn't have a head and told my mom her whole pregnancy that I only had a brain stem and she should abort."
"Lo and behold she goes into labor and they rush her in to do a C-section, only to discover I'm stuck."
"They end up laying her all the way open and cutting 3 ribs to get me out."
"She ended up stapled back together."
"(Yay for 1980s science."
" She gave her doctors so much hell about her being right."- Silaquix
Blessed With Strong Bones!
"I've been hit by a semi truck twice, and both times escaped with minor injuries."- mydogsaysimcool
so fetch mean girls GIF by Coolidge Corner TheatreGiphyFrequently Chased By Death
"I was pronounced dead at 6 weeks old."
"I found a dead body when I was 10."- Smoochmypie
"Pick Yourself Up, Dust Yourself Off, And Start All Over Again!"
"I’ve broken my ankles on 5 separate occasions."
"I also have flat feet. "
"Ironically I love running!"- ItsMyCakedayIRL
Lucky Discovery?
"Appendix cancer."
"Accidentally discovered during another surgery."
"No idea there was a tumor the size of an egg on my appendix."- Low_Bus_5395
A Mighty Wind...
"Got hit by a tornado."
"They don’t tell you about how it sucks the air out of the room while you’re inside it."- FriendlyFiber
Angry British Summer GIF by moonbugGiphyTalk About Victim Of Circumstance
"I was born in jail"- cavallinm
You Can Have Too Much Wisdom...
"I had 5 wisdom teeth."
"4 normal ones and 1 tiny one."- more_merkins
Lucky Day!
"My dad my uncle and me were all born on 8/11 different years."- Kimchiandfries
Happy Birthday GIF by Eat'n ParkGiphySome people have all the luck, and some apparently have none at all!
All the more reason we should never assume that any unlikely experience will never happen to us...