Parents are always telling their children not to lie, so parents always tell the truth, right? Wrong! Sometimes parents tell a little white lie to get kids to behave. Sometimes they tell a whopper for other reasons. Here are some of the best lies parents have told.
50. The Usual Half-Truths...
Giphy
- The ends don't justify the means
- It doesn't matter what other people think of you
- Money can't buy happiness REDDIT
49. Betrayal!
"When the ice cream truck plays that music, it means it's out of ice cream." - "The Internet shuts at 6pm." "I know when you're lying!" REDDIT
48. Is this Dynasty?
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That the man at the family gathering was a family friend when it turns out to be your dad and you never got to meet him again. _yellow_ledbetter
47. Don't talk about my peeps...
That today's generation is a bunch of lazy, entitled degenerates. Seems odd that my generation is inventing, innovating and building more than any previous generation. Also, media only makes it seem like this generation sucks... most of my father's generation was raised on believing what the news told them. Well, thanks to the Internet (reddit, specifically) most of us know that the media is 99% biased crap. Esmeraldem
46. Higher Learning...
That education costs.
With the cost of college and schools varying so much depending on where you live and the variations in social classes you get set up to have no opportunities in certain areas. You don't get to pick from everything most of the time. You get to have what's available to you. I wish I had understood that better instead of being given false hope and naivety about how the world works. REDDIT
45. A Lie is a Lie!
A lot of parents, or all parents? Don't know about all parents, but a lot of them lie about intelligent design. charleston_guy
A lie is knowing something is not factual and saying it anyway. If a parent believes in intelligent design and teaches their child that, it isn't a lie. They may be incorrect, but that is different. I_Like_Nerds
44. You can still be nice...
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That if you do good, good things will happen to you in return. Nope, the world screws you whether you want it or not. pyroSeven
43. Sorry Mom. You talk.
"You can tell me everything."
No, I can't mom, because you're not mentally stable enough to handle someone's pain. Syr_Enigma
42. No Stalker for you!
Be/do good because Jesus is watching.
Instead of...
Be/do good because you shouldn't have to rely on someone else to hold you accountable for being a good person. sbstnh
41. You just gotta find the right ones...
That Drugs are bad, Drugs are fun! notosnow
"All it takes is one cigarette to get you hooked." Tried a cigarette once. Tasted like crap and made me nauseous. Never again, so there's that.
"Marijuana is a gateway drug." Been smoking consistently for about a year and half now, still waiting for that urge to try heroin. Hasn't happened yet. REDDIT
39. Surprise!
"You were planned." koklar
I'm pretty sure my parents claimed to get married almost a year before they actually did whenever I asked because of this. REDDIT
38. That Sounds Unsafe!
An angel dropped me into their lap. REDDIT
Well, technically, a fallen angel is still an angel. 😇 Ahavah
36. Just say Abstinence.
Oh, and "Your father and I were virgins when we married." Not only was this hard to live up to but totally messed up the line, "You can talk to me about anything." Uhh noooo mom I can't, even though you lied.
34. Ka-Ching!
You can do anything you want in life.
Truth : If you don't have enough money, you are restricted to limitations. Qualkore0 points·
33. It could happen.
Unequivocally it is that God exist and that people go to heaven when they die. MagmaiKH
32. Be Great!
"It's alright if you didn't win/score/do something neat, you tried your best!" Dhrakyn
30. Big Little Lies
Teacher to my kindergarteners: IF we don't finish ___________, we'll have to stay here all night, and one from my parents to me after coming out: We don't think of you any differently.
29. Nothing is Free!
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Santa is going to bring you gifts/The tooth fairy will leave you $ for your tooth. only-the-lonely
28. Fido Forever!
I hate how parents try to lie and cover up pet deaths and stuff like... Santa cuz they're children's feelings will get hurt. No wonder we have so many feminists and SJWs that claim clapping triggers anxiety. PM_ME_STDS
27. Bless Us All...
Everything about religion... any religion. Dredly
26. Leafy Green Lies
My mother told me that spinach would make me strong like Popeye, and if I ate it I could lift the house.I would have a few spoonfuls and then she'd rush outside with me. I'd try and lift the house, squeezing my eyes shut with the effort. She'd go "It moved! It moved! Quick, eat some more!" and I'd run back inside and finish it off.
-- aza9999
25. Food Court
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Happy Meals are for poor kids who's parents can't buy them toys and they're sad.
If you touch your peepee without going potty, it'll fall off.
If you eat enough vegetables, your body makes them taste like candy.
If you don't wipe your butt properly, it'll close up and you'll have to spit out your poop.
If you don't color in the lines, you'll start losing color and only see in black and white.
If you pee in the pool, you'll get the girls pregnant and have to get a job.
If you don't wash your hands before you eat, your food will start to taste like poop.
We aren't French so you can't eat French fries from McDonalds.
Lucky Charms are for Leprechauns. If you eat too many you'll shrink and have to wear a green suit and have a red beard.
[username deleted]
24. Rock Garden
My dad said if I could look after a special growing rock, and watered it each day until it stopped growing I could get a dog. I'd water it and every week, while I was at school he'd replace it with a slightly bigger rock.
--AppleChiaki
23. The MusicMobile
I told both of my kids that the ice cream truck was the "music truck." It's purpose was to drive around and cheer up all the sad people.
--No_Filter217
22. Screaming For Ice Cream
Giphy
I did that too! Told that story yesterday after hearing one from a co-worker: she told her son, who is afraid of clowns, that ice cream trucks were driven by clowns. He heard that music and sprinted to his room. Evil genius of a parent.
[username deleted]
21. When Will Grandma Be Ripe?
My dad told me when I was really little that graveyards were people farms.
--yusuf69
20. I'll Have the Chicken Fish
We got our daughter to eat fish by calling it "Argentinian Chicken." That worked for a long time until grandma came along and messed it up. Thanks, Grandma.
--effthegreen
19. The Family That Scares Together
My dad always told me he was terrified of mice and rats so we couldn't go to Chuck E Cheese. I legitimately believed that until my cousin told me her dad (my dad's twin) had said the same thing.
My dad also told me there were monsters in our basement so I wouldn't go down the stairs and hurt myself. And one time, he paused saying goodnight to me and said "huh, thought I heard something in your closet. Oh well, night!"
He was awesome. I'm totally doing all those when I have kids.
--hometowngypsy
18. The No-No Button
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My dad always told me, that if I press a certain button on our remote control our tv would explode. As I grew older, I was curious and pressed said button only to see he saved adult channels on this one
--lisasavestheworld
17. Poor Kitties!
When we went to the store my mom used to tell, "Every time (you) touch something a kitten dies."
--iamnos
16. Groundhog Easter Day?
My father told me (and my Catholic cousin) that Easter was the day that Jesus rolled back the rock, and if he saw his shadow we'd have six more weeks of winter. My aunt was beyond pissed when my cousin broke that out at her first communion.
--sunnynorth
15. Calamari is What?!?
Giphy
My parents got me to eat calamari by telling me they were Italian onion rings.
--iamnos
14. Watermelon Whine
I was told swallowing watermelon seeds would grow in my stomach.
I had a very nerve-wracking couple of months waiting.
--bNoaht
13. Toilet Ball
My dad told me that if I swallowed chewing gum my poop would bounce up and down in the toilet.
I cried when I swallowed some gum.
--iamnos
12. By Invitation Only
Chuck E. Cheese is only for birthday parties. You have to be invited to one to go there.
--iamnos
11. In the Red
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…my dad used to tell me if the RPM gauge in his manual transmission car got into the red the car would explode.
I am guessing I talked too much in the car because after that I never wanted to ride with him.
--shredda1212
10. Better Save The Batteries!
They don't make batteries for that toy.
--iamnos
9. How Do You Get an Angry Meal?
I told my kids if they didn't behave in the drive-thru line they'd get a sad meal.
--iamnos
8. The Popsicle of Truth
My mom told me my tongue turned purple when I lied. One day she caught me in a blatant lie, right after a grape popsicle.
I ran to the mirror and began to apologize until I cried. Never lied again... until I realized it was baloney.
--jfqs6m
7. Santa Needs a Break
My dad used to tell me Santa was tired of cookies and milk, I'd get extra toys if I left Doritos and a drink. That went on for years...
--iamnos
6. Watch That Word Count!
People get 10,000 words per month. If you reach the limit you can't physically speak until the new month begins.
Anytime I was especially talkative, Dad would say, "Careful now, I have to think you are up over 9,000 by now." That would shut me right up.
--iamnos
5. Prepare for Takeoff
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My dad told me that pushing the seat recline button on an airplane helps the plane take off, and that if not enough people push it the plane would crash.
--iamnos
4. Orange You Glad?
My friends dad took it a step further. He says that one night his dad glued a small branch to his ear so when he woke up he thought an orange tree was growing out of his head. After seeing him crying for a while and after a few choice words from a disapproving mom his dad confessed and took the branch off. He said he was mad at his dad for like a week straight.
[username deleted]
2. Cat's Outta The Bag
Whenever I was having a tantrum in the supermarket as a small child my mum would go 'oh god! Did you see that kitten!? It just ran under that isle!!' And get all excited. Straight away I would stop having my tantrum and start looking for this kitten! Every time. For the rest of the trip I was so busy looking for the kitten and if I ever lost enthusiasm she would go 'oh look! There It went! I just saw it again!'
It took me longer than I would like to admit to realize that there's not a plague of kittens wandering around every shop in my home town.
On the plus side I now use this trick with my nephews and friends kids when they start having a tantrum in public. I have yet to see a kid that this doesn't work on.
--flaced
1. Seasonal Toys?
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My mom told me that companies only advertise bad products, because they have to trick people into buying their crap. It stopped me from begging for toys and also made me fairly immune to adds as an adult.
She also told me that certain toys, books, movies, and songs were 'seasonal' and you couldn't use or play them out of season. Which meant that she could rotate stuff every few months. Kept me more interested in my toys, and gave her a break.
[username deleted]
I haven't tried these rooms yet. Not sure I want to. Highly claustrophobic. Convince me...
No touching...
"I used to work at one. I can’t tell you how many people thought that power outlets were a prop and tried to stick keys into them. Guys. There was a lamp plugged into it and a 'do not touch, not a part of the game' sticker on it. It’s not a trick, don’t do that."
brasscassette
Shackles
"A friend of mine works for an escape room and he told me one about a puzzle where the key to the next door was shackled to a desk by a combination lock. What you are supposed to do is figure out the combination for the lock from the clues around the room to free the key. What one group decided to do instead was get a guy on each corner and pick up the 150 pound desk and carry it across the room, slide the key into the lock, and then rotate the entire desk to unlock the door."
sharrrper
'Yale'
"I am not an escape room employee but I did a lot of em and talked to the employees often. One of them told me there was a simple lock (opened by a key) that had 'Yale' written on it (the name of the lock company) and a lady (not native English speaker) thought it read 'yell' and legit shouted 'OPEN!!' at it, expecting it to open."
Dorza1
searching the fountain...
"Recently went to an escape room with my co-workers. Before we started, we were explicitly warned not to touch or drink the bright blue water coming out of a fountain because it would turn our skin blue - clearly people had tried searching the fountain as part of the escape room previously and now they have to warn everyone."
babers1987
Voice of God
Whos That Voice Of God GIF by Shark WeekGiphy"I was in an escape room once where one puzzle involved some objects that needed to be manipulated inside a structure that made it very awkward."
"We were all looking at it trying to figure out how to proceed when I said 'Well, the bottom is held on with screws and I have a screwdriver in my purse, but that would probably be cheating.' Instantly the Voice of God came over the intercom 'THAT WOULD BE CHEATING!' So we didn't do that..."
Miss_Speller
Well people really do get creative at this game... don't they?
Reverse
genius GIFGiphy"Had a group of engineers who were familiar with the style of the lock effectively reverse engineer the lock. They showed us how they did it afterwards."
Snowf1ake222
Smoked...
"When I was in one they told us several times that the fire extinguisher is NOT part of the puzzle. They said it so many times, I'm 98% sure someone once used it lol."
Zirael_Swallow
"I always wait to see if they say not to disassemble smoke detectors, if they have that warning, I ask about it, and every time they will always have a story about a dumby who ignored the warning labels and disassembled the smoke detector."
cleverplaydoh
Group of 4
"There was a story on here a while ago about a guy in a group of four who took a broom from the first room because 'it had to be for something.' He said it looked too out of place to not be needed. Well he was half right. It was out of place but that's because it was the broom used by employees to clean the room."
"It was simply forgotten when they cleaned last time. The guys giving hints thought it was hilarious that this guy carried a broom through four rooms expecting it to be the key to their escape at some point. I thought that was funny as hell."
PCCoatings
Damages...
"Take in a screwdriver and dismantling furniture or taking doors off hinges... all the while we specifically tell them not to use force and that furniture is just furniture. Though I don't care cause they gotta pay the damages. Also had some groups press our panic button cause that opens all the doors (for emergency cases)."
"So they can skip puzzles and be faster. Makes zero sense to us cause they are paying for an hour of playtime and to solve puzzles, not like the prize is reduced cause you solved less in fewer minutes. Especially since our prices aren't cheap."
karmasabitterpill
Idiots
Idiot Facepalm GIFGiphy"Breaking EVERYTHING. Trying to eat or drink things they should totally not be trying to eat or drink."
Radiant-Comb9058
Even though there are a million ways to escape, I'm still gonna pass. My claustrophobia won't allow it.
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While many cultures should be celebrated, there are some individuals who just can't help but reserve their opinions about those whose behavior and customs differ vastly from their own.
At the risk of coming off as offensive, some might even call these customs, "weird."
European culture got the spotlight when Redditor CoffeeBoy88 asked:
"What is something weird about Europe that Europeans don’t realize is weird?"
Apparently, there's never a dull moment in European nations.
"German tourists are OBSESSED with mooses."
"/A swede."
– worldkeeponspinning
No Offense
"The UK has 30 accents per square mile. And if a large man calls you duck in Stoke … that’s okay."
– InItsTeeth
Nighttime Exposure
"Norwegians don't close their curtains when it gets dark."
– judochop1
The Swarm
"The amount of mosquitos in Finland, Americans go crazy in Spring because of it."
– TheFargus
Redditors discuss what it's like traveling around Europe.
Come And Go As You Please
"How incredibly inconsequential it is to cross country borders. Cycled through France - Belgium - Netherlands and there is barely even a sign."
– sicknessandpurgatory
The Contrast
"You drive five hours in the US: you’re basically still in the same place."
"You drive five hours in Europe: everyone’s talking funny and the cheese is different."
– KaimeiJay
The Short Commute
"The first time I was in the UK my husband wanted to go to Wales and I looked at the train route from London and was like 'It’s all the way on the other side of the country! We’re only in the UK for a week. We don’t have that kind of time!' And my husband was all, 'you know it’s a 2.5 hour train ride, right?' I thought it would all day."
– KateDinNYC
Germans In Transport
"the absolute lack of air conditioning even at 40°, german transport gets sticky and stinky quite fast and nobody seems to care, many people even shut the windows to avoid the 'annoying breeze.'"
– ahorasimeaborregue
Maintaining distance was a thing long before pandemic measures recommended people to be socially distanced.
All About Respect
"Finnish people are silent, small talk doesn't exist. Their personal space larger than COVID-19 social distancing rules, and it's considered normal. Don't speak unless spoken to, and don't invade other people's personal space - it's seen as a sign of a respect."
"Those Finns, who haven't been to abroad or haven't met too many foreigners, don't often even recognize this behaviour being unusual in the global scale."
– RockNRollNBluesNJazz
The "Safety Coffee Cup"
"I'm from Finland and one European thing that all Finnish people hate is cheek kisses when greeting. Its mostly southern european thing but still. There is this saying in Finland that goes 'Everyone has their own safety coffee cup' meaning the closest distance someone should get to you should not be closer than your coffee cup when you're holding it."
– eelisonparas
Let Them Shop In Peace
"Weird at first but I appreciate and wish for it. It might be just a Germany thing but from what I’ve been told German Walmart failed because the North American style of customer service was very unliked. From the greeter at the door to clerks asking if you need help unprompted. German shoppers just want to shop and go home as undisturbed as possible."
– UnusualHospital9579
I remember being weirded out when I went to Paris and asked for some ice at a cafe.
The waiter served me coke by opening the room temperature can and poured some of the contents into an empty glass. With no ice.
When the server came back, he had with him a spoon with one ice cube on it. I thought it was stingy but it got worse.
He poured the rest of the coke over the ice on the spoon he was holding and then walked away with the ice and spoon.
I guess the coke was colder than when I had my first sip, so according to the server, it was viola: mission accomplished!
Do the French not like ice-cold beverages? Weird.
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People tend to forget that therapists–the professional we seek for guidance when we're vulnerable–are also human and are just as prone to feeling the feels.
Curious to hear from therapists who've exposed their emotional vulnerabilities in front of their clients opened up when Redditor Unkw0n_pers0n asked:
"Therapist that have cried in a session, why?"
A patient who feels seen and understood reinforces why therapists endeavor to help people in the first place.
It Wasn't Her Fault
"I was working with a deeply depressed client who had a lot of negative self talk about how she was always a failure. We were exploring the origins of this and how young she was the first time she felt self-blame. She told me her earliest story of when she was in 2nd grade."
"Afterwards, as we were processing it, I expressed that 'it wasn't your fault' about the story. She just broke down sobbing and said 'nobody has ever said that to me before' in between sobs. It hit me and I cried a little."
– Ayzmo
Relatable Experience
"i cried after i worked with a kid who described an emotionally difficult situation with a sibling. the kid’s experience aligned very similarly to something i went through with my own sibling when i was the kid’s age and i hadn’t realized how much hurt i was carrying from the experience."
"being a therapist sometimes means being confronted with things you didn’t realize had such a strong impact on you. luckily, i have a stellar therapist of my own that i can work through these moments with."
– rejecteddroid
The Patient With A Disorder
"I was doing a cognitive assessment for a girl. We were doing tests and at one point she started crying she was unable to tell me why, she was fine just one moment before. I let her collect her thoughts, then she said softly 'I don't want to be more stupid than my friends'. She wasn't actually, she was very bright, but she didn't know that she has dyslexia, dysorthograpy AND dyscalculia. I realized that she went through THIRTEEN years of school without help. Her parents didn't want to do an assessment as they thought she was just lazy. I told her that she was very brave to decide to get help and things would get better after our assessment and I felt tears in my eyes."
"Edit: first of all, I have great empathy for parents, for most of all is just a matter of ignorance, fear and parenting is hard. If you are a parent and you see your kid struggling, PLEASE listen to professionists, we are here to help, not judge, and we will find ways to help you and your kid. Disorders don't go away, don't underestimate it, the sooner you get help, the better the outcome can be. It's ok to be scared but we're here for you and we understand you."
"Second, I'm really sorry to read so many heartbreaking stories about people that weren't believed and struggled being undiagnosed. I wish you all the best, I hope you are in a better situation and you got or you'll get all the help you deserve, because you do deserve it."
"Third, if you think 'something's wrong with me', get help if you are in a position to do so. Worst case you understand yourself better and have a chance do make peace with parts of yourself."
– ---honeybadger----
A patient who has already accepted their heartbreaking fate recalls seeing their therapist getting emotionally involved during a session.
A Mother Who Didn't Want To Let Go
"My therapist cried while 'mediating' a discussion between my mom and I. I have a neurodegenerative disease and she is my full time caregiver. Because of my severe disability, she also has legal guardianship of me, even though I am in my 20’s (this is all fine with me, I need the help, and I agreed in court to all of it. This was the first true 'disagreement' that we ever had.)"
"I am ready to die. I am in pain, unable to do anything for myself, and it’s only getting worse. I asked my mom to sign a DNR, because I have been resuscitated before, it was a mess, and I don’t want it to happen again."
"She refused. She doesn’t want to lose her child and wanted to do everything medically possible to keep me alive."
"The session was essentially me begging her to let me go, while she sobbed and said she could never sign a paper that would lead to my death. It was a terrible situation. No one was 'the bad guy', no one was trying to hurt the other. It was someone wanting their suffering to end, verses a mother not wanting to lose her child."
"My therapist agreed that I should be allowed to make this choice, but certainly didn’t think my mom was manipulative or evil, just already grieving and trying to hold on to me as long as possible. I saw her wipe her eyes several times, and they were red by the time we were done. She actually hugged us both at the end."
"The situation wasn’t resolved during the session, but my mom came around shortly after. She wouldn’t sign the DNR, but gave me legal permission to do so (so, in her mind, it wasn’t her making the final decision.)"
"BTW, my mom and I have a GREAT relationship! This was just one issue that we couldn’t come to an agreement on ourselves. But it worked out, and I’m now in palliative care and have a great team looking after me, INCLUDING my mom!"
– fightwithgrace
The following examples continue to demonstrate how therapists are more emotionally invested in their patients and clients than you think.
Responding To Tragic News
"I cried in a substance treatment group. A client’s mom had reached out via email to me to say that her daughter died from an OD. She called during my group so I chose to take the call and spoke with her briefly. I thought I could continue with the group. Ended up in tears instead."
– ChicagoOwls
She Patient Who Felt Unloved
"My patient cried and said 'there's nobody on this planet who loves me anymore.' I cried when I left because I knew she was right. For context: she was 95, her husband and son had died, she had a personality disorder that made her behaviour unbearable for her environment after her husband died and every person still in her life were paid for to be around her. She died a few months after this conversation."
It is unsurprising that therapists are compassionate people.
Otherwise, they wouldn't be in the room to help someone who is struggling internally.
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