Look, I'd be lying if I said I didn't spend a fair amount of my life grounded. Usually it was for totally BS stuff (which my parents now admit - they were WAY more strict on me than on either of my siblings and would often "ground" me from books or educational TV for seriously minor offenses in an attempt to force me to go outside... not the best tactic, but at least they can admit it.) There was once, though, that my grounding was deliciously deserved.
Middle school is the literal worst. Everyone is trying to figure themselves out, everyone is weird, nobody has any real maturity - it's a godforsaken Thunderdome out there. She - we won't name names - was terrible to me. She tormented me daily. I was too young, too short, too fat, had weird hair, etc.
I wasn't physically aggressive, but anyone who knows me will tell you I don't typically need to be. My words are - and have always been - cutting. I let her bully me through sixth grade and most of seventh without ever standing up for myself. Then one day she decided to stand behind me and crumple little bits of styrofoam beads into my hair. It took the whole day to get even half of them out of my very ethnic hair. It ruined the hairstyle my mother had carefully spent ages putting in. I got in trouble for it because my parents couldn't possibly believe that I didn't feel it and had nothing to do with it.
I stayed up late and wrote the girl a letter telling her everything I hated about her and how much I hoped she amounted to nothing. I went in. I told her about her big teeth, her crooked nose, the fact that she always smelled like food and feet, how her name was stupid, how her cousin (who she had a super deep familial rivalry with) was way prettier, smarter and nicer than she would ever be, etc.
This letter was PAGES long. I let our entire creative writing class read it before I gave it to her. She cried halfway through the first page but I cornered her and made her finish the whole thing, then when she was done and sobbing I stared her down and told her I hoped she got horse flu to match her horse face and to never come near me again.
Seventh grade savagery was real, folks.
She took the letter home and showed it to her parents, who honestly believed she was an angel and I was just some hateful sociopath. It took a conference with 4 teachers, my parents, her parents and our school bus driver for people to understand that this didn't come from nowhere.
I got SUPER grounded, of course, because I said some things I'm very not proud of and that rightfully horrified all the adults involved. She transferred classes, then left the school. I hadn't considered that letting everyone else read it would turn the tables and she would go from a major bully to the most bullied and mocked girl in the school. Or maybe I had and I figured it was just karma?
Who knows. Either way, I remember not regretting a single moment of my grounding. At all. I was forced to be outside (my least favorite thing ever, to this day) but I was a legend that summer. It was glorious. And that's the story of how I read a girl to filth so badly that she disappeared.
Reddit user I_feel_like_death asked:
Honestly, this thread was all kinds of magic, you guys. There may not be any real justice - but there is so much satisfaction.
One time, my younger brother told our mom I hit him. Just walked into my room and started screaming about me hitting him.
I hadn't even looked at him.
So of course, mom comes in, won't hear me AT ALL, and immediately grounds me. My younger brother has this grin on his face.
And I thought, "F--- it...I'm already getting punished for hitting him."
So mom's like, "You're grounded for hitting your brother."
I turned to him, and punched him as hard as I could in his sternum. He DROPPED.
Then I go, "Alright. I'm grounded." And walk away.
Oddly enough, mom didn't say anything at that point. I like to think she realized what was up.
Bonus: My brother never pulled that again.
My grandpa was searching for chapstick all around the house and I ran up to him, handing him a glue stick. I thought he'd realize and laugh. He didn't realize. Not intended, but totally worth the grounding.
The Pants Incident
My friend had pantsed (pulling down someone's pants unexpectedly to reveal their underwear) me the day before and I was itching for the opportunity to get back at him. We had just finished PE class and were lining up for an assembly. He was wearing shorts, so it was the perfect moment.
I snuck up behind him and with one fluid motion pantsed him in front of everyone. I would say it was one of my best pantsings of all time, or at least in the top 10. He was thoroughly embarrassed, but that was the extent of it. I just did to him exactly what he did to me. This was just a weird thing we did in Junior High.
My gym teacher (who notoriously had it out for me the whole year) noticed all the commotion and asked what was going on.
Some kid piped up and snitched on me. She immediately told me to go to the principals office. "That's sexual harrassment.", she said. That was the first time I had even heard those words uttered. I had to go to the principle's office and explain what happened. They called my parents and slapped me with a 3 day suspension.
I came home and my parents were waiting for me in the living room. My dad was strict as hell, and I was constantly frightened of him. I sat down across from him (on the farthest seat across from him no less). He just stared at me, for what felt like hours, with his eyes burning black like the fires of hell. I was terrified.
"Stand up!" he then ordered. I had no idea what he was going to do. And then...he walked up...and in one fluid motion pantsed the living sh*t out of me. "YOU LIKE PULLING PEOPLE'S PANTS DOWN!? I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT IT FEELS LIKE!!"
I burst into tears, with my pants hanging down by my ankles, in total embarrassment and humility. Talk about giving someone a taste of their own medicine.
The Concert In DC
I flew to Washington DC with some friends to see a concert. I told my parents I was at my friends for the weekend. I almost got away with it too, but I left my phone at the concert venue and someone was "nice enough" to look into it and dial the home number and let my parents know they found my phone in DC. This was back in the day when it was basically a flip phone so I would have preferred he stole it. Grounded for about 3 months, no phone, no computer, no tv.
I went to great lengths to hide the trip from my parents too. I switched my debit card to paperless (my dad was a snoop) The flight was really early in the morning, so for a week ahead of time I went to school early everyday and told my parents that I had a study group before class, so it wouldn't seem odd that I was leaving so early that one day. I hid my car in a college parking lot. All to be ruined by some guy trying to do a good thing.
They weren't worried at all. They were pissed lol I had talked to them a few times during that weekend. They were very protective, especially since I'm a girl, so I always "checked in." They were able to get a hold of me right away because I was with the same friend who they thought I was at her house. She answered the phone and acted like I had just left her house, we were at the DC airport on the way home. My dad replied "I know you're in DC, give my daughter the phone."
I saw the immediate fear in my friend's face. I was the one who was scared sh*tless. lol
Good thing that came out of this though, they started loosening up. They saw that I could take care of myself and started to let me travel/roadtrip with my friends as long as I told them first.
Croquet And The Bloody Nose
At my 11th birthday party, my step sisters son (who was also 11) hit me in the back if the head with a croquet ball. On purpose. Once I stopped crying, I punched him in the face hard enough to bloody his nose. My mom spanked me for it. No regrets. He was a mean little sh*t who was always doing stuff then blaming it on me. After I fought back, he pretty much left me alone. And no, he didn't get in trouble for hitting me with the ball.
Changed my dad's gmail name to "d*ckface" He couldn't change it back for months. I'm sure doing business was nearly impossible, but it was hilarious.
I was banned from all computers for a year and never allowed the Netflix password (It's not stopping me, by the way.)
The Best Start
My mom was always very strict about my curfew. When a girl from work asked me out for ice cream after the late shift I couldn't refuse. I called my mom told her I was going on a date and I would be home later. She wasn't very happy but I went anyway. That date was the start of one of my best relationships.
I had a, fortunately short-lived, shoplifting phase when I was 8. I would often steal gum and candy from stores and got away with it for weeks. It came to an end when I got cocky and tried shoving a giant bag of gummies in my pocket.
A man caught me, and he looked me with a concerned face, asking "Are you really going to do that?" He didn't seem like he was going to snitch on me, but he didn't need to.
He scared me so much that I put it back and my mom caught me pulling it out of my pockets. She finally realized why I kept having candy when before she accused my grandma of buying me excessive candy in secret.
I was not allowed to watch TV, play video games, nor go to any friend's house for a month.
I learned to never steal again. It was worth it in that the lesson I learned was valuable.
The Candy SchemeGiphy
My brother and I were very smart kids. (He still is, I've settled around average.) We came up with a plan to get candy, so much candy. I think we were around 10 at this point.
Our parents would habitually go grocery shopping, and they would take us with them. We were both quite well behaved, and polite, so it wasn't a big deal to bring us along.
Dad usually beelines for the butcher section, while Mom putters around the produce. Dad would pick up something, and hand it to one of us. "Go put this in the cart." This was a weekly thing. (Can you see where this is going?)
My brother and I realize that Mom doesn't question when we put things in on Dad's request. Dad doesn't questions things on the conveyor belt, because Mom must have okayed it.
We got so much candy.
Remember Baby Bottle Pops?
We had, like, 2 packages of them. Gushers. Gummy bears. Chocolate bars. Caramels. Those dip sticks that you lick and stick in powder that changes the colour of your tongue and has the consistency of chalk.
Oh God, it was glorious.
We get in the car, giddy to go home. Mom grumpily says to Dad: "I can't believe you let them buy that much candy."
Dad: "Me? You let them get it!"
There was a pregnant pause as they both turned around in their seats and looked at us.
So we didn't get the candy.They didn't return it, though.
We were grounded for a month, and everything we brought to the shopping cart was now scrutinized.
But it so worth it because about 6 months later we got to eat the candy. Now that we're adults, my Dad still thinks that was one of the most clever things we've ever done.
I let a friend do 4 loads of laundry in our basement while my parents weren't home because her family's washer and drier broke and they had 5 kids and no clean clothes. I didn't want my best friend to have to go to school in dirty clothes when I could help her.
My family was not poor by any means and we do laundry constantly so I didn't think there would be any problem with it. We had already finished and just folding the last load of clothes and putting it into her hamper bag when my parents got home.
They waited until she left to yell at me and then 'grounded' me, taking the door off of my room and removing all the 'fun' stuff from my room (books, art supplies, ect) and I wasn't allowed to go anywhere but school for 3 months. My parents are borderline narcissist, this wasn't an unusual punishment or behavior for them. This was just one time where there was a clear reason for their bullshit
They were being selfish assholes and I continued to help my friend do laundry, we just made sure to limit it to 2 loads and made sure she was gone before they were home. Helping her was worth it.
I'd Do It Again
My mom was drunk when my 8 year old little sister told her that she wanted to do some acting in a school play. My sister was notoriously shy and my f*cking mother sat there and told an eight year old that "I don't think you can do it, you're too nervous."
I lost my shit (I was fifteen), all I said was "I can't believe you just told your daughter you don't believe in her!" I got grounded and I'd do it again every day.
Defending Mom's Honor
Aunt of mine on my dad's side used to bully my mother a lot, very condescending and belittling so much so that I recognized this as a young child. My dad would put a stop to it when he was around but he worked a lot... one day this aunt was in the kitchen on the phone and I burst in, wearing full plastic armor, helmet, shield and sword - and stabbed her right in the ass.
She was heavily overweight and I managing to really jam it in there for full effect; bending the sword just above the handle and I believe I managed a slight ass punch too.
She jumped up a remarkable height considering her bulk and let out a Wilhelm scream to rival any.
I was punished, grounded, scolded and told to apologize. But after she left I wasn't grounded and I heard my parents laughing about it when I was in bed.
My aunt is a much nicer person now (she still fears me) but she really was a horrible person back then, bitter and cruel. My mother was never good enough, despite raising 4 kids vs 0 by my aunt and living far away from her own siblings. I think my dad put her straight and told her don't come back until you've sorted your shit out. Worth it.