Woman's Grandma Passes Away And Clingy GF's Need For Constant Communication Created Major Problems, And Now She's Not Sure How To Proceed
I mean. There's not much to say. If somebody's dead grandmother is an emotional threat, is it even worth having a fight?
u/sici24 laid out the crazy issue for us:
My grandma died and I feel like my girlfriend's behaviour towards me and my family was out of line [28/29F 2 year relationship]
Hi Reddit. Sorry this is all over the place. I'm pretty tired and upset, and am having a hard time getting my thoughts together..but here it goes.
My grandma (dad's mom) and I didn't have the greatest relationship. Basically my dad's family was super crazy rich and my mom's family is like upper middle class. So my grandma wasn't super thrilled with the marriage. She treats my mom differently than her other daughter/son in laws and this kind of trickled down to me and my brother being treated differently than our cousins.
My grandma wasn't outright mean to us, but it was kind of obvious she had favourites in the way that she didn't give us as good gifts as the other grandkids, she never bragged about our accomplishments to her friends, she'd tell me that I could lose some weight, etc. But I mean… she did still give us gifts, cook our favourite foods when she came to visit, came to our graduations, lots of hugs and kisses..so I feel like she did love us. She was also an old Asian lady, so some of her actions can be attributed to just her being of her generation. I guess it doesn't matter now, bottom line – I had things to complain about but in the end I do love my grandma.
My grandma was in the hospital and my dad knew that she was not doing so well, so he asked me to fly out to my hometown and see her. All of my cousins, aunts and uncles came as well and we had a really lovely family reunion (I am super close to my extended family, but we all live in different states in the US/provinces in Canada so we don't see each other much but it's always awesome when we do) and my grandma was so happy. My girlfriend and I already had plane tickets to visit my parents, so we actually ended up going back to hometown a couple of weeks after that. Grandma was still in the hospital and my girlfriend met her for the first time. She died about a week after we left and I flew out again to go to the funeral and wake. So I went there 3 times (twice alone, once with my gf) and each time I was just…not impressed with my girlfriend's actions
First visit
This was a last minute flight and was pretty expensive, so my girlfriend decided not to come with me. Also we thought it wouldn't be the best situation for her to meet my family for the first time. I was only gone for the weekend (left Friday night, came back Sunday afternoon) and my girlfriend was insistent that I text constantly, call her every night, Skype every morning. I tried my best to text her, but I didn't really want to be on my phone the entire time I was at the hospital visiting my grandma and also catching up with family I hadn't seen in a couple of years. It was evening and my phone was nearly dead. My grandma was asleep, so my brother and cousins and I decided to drive to the mall/grocery store. My girlfriend got so angry at me because I didn't call her at the hospital, I didn't call her while I was in the car (with 7 other people), my phone died and I didn't borrow someone else's phone to call her at the mall, etc. She then also kind of got mad at me for taking the opportunity while my grandma was asleep to have a good time with my cousins instead of calling/video chatting her. I skyped her the next morning and she was still livid and accused me of doing something that I would never do and was actually really insulting. Anyway I went back home the next day and she was still mad at me.
Second visit
This visit was planned before my grandma got sick and my gf met my extended family for the first time. She hated every second of it. My cousins tried to include her by asking what food she'd like to eat so we could pick a restaurant and she just said that we (she and I) would go back to my parents house and eat there (there was no food, we ate cereal for dinner). When we were alone, she'd get mad at me for having fun, laughing, and singing with my cousins. She was sulky the entire time and at one point was in such a bad mood around my family that she said that when we got back home we were breaking up. It then de-escalated to we are never going to a family reunion type thing ever again. She would text her sister about how weird/creepy/embarrassing my family was and when my aunt and uncle celebrated their wedding anniversary, she insisted that we skip the lunch celebration and drive downtown instead.
Third visit
A few days after we got home from the 2nd visit, my dad called me to tell me that my grandma had passed away that morning and if I could make it home that weekend for the funeral and wake and that my girlfriend was invited too, of course. She couldn't take more time off work and also couldn't afford the plane ticket, so I went by myself. My girlfriend never outright said I couldn't go, but it was obvious that she didn't want me to ditch her again. She said things like "You didn't even like your grandma that much why do you have to go to the funeral AND the wake". But screw that, even if I didn't like my grandma I would still want to be there for my dad and the rest of my family. At the funeral home (for the wake), I was texting her a bit and taking pictures of some of my grandma's stuff. I was also chatting with my cousins and my brother. We decided to go into the chapel (I didn't really have signal in here) and I saw my aunt really crying and sobbing and I went to go give her a hug. The wake then started and I took a seat at a pew for the mass and other things. It lasted about 1 ½ hours, and when I got out, I received a ton of messages that my gf had sent that I couldn't receive in the chapel. Basically she was mad at me for not texting her good night immediately before the wake started. I told her that I was in a chapel, so I didn't really have the chance to text her. She said that it only takes a few seconds to text "good night" so I should have taken my phone out during the church service and texted. But honestly…texting her good night was not the most important thing on my mind during my grandma's wake.
The next day was the funeral. I was telling my girlfriend that the shoes I had brought were dirty so I had to borrow my mom's shoes with heels. She then texted me "Wow, the image of you in heels is such a turn-off". Wtf I wasn't telling her that I was wearing heels to turn her on, I was just telling her something about my day. After the funeral, my cousins and I decided to go play a game of basketball. I called my girlfriend to talk to her and when she heard the sounds of the game in the background she got angry and accused me of "having fun". Am I not allowed to have fun? My grandma was super into family and loved having everyone together, so us playing a fun game of basketball would probably be exactly what she had wanted us to do.
This has gotten really long now. So I'll just end it here. What I need help from you guys is..did I do something wrong? Maybe my judgement is all clouded because my grandma died, I spent so much time with family, I had to fly back and forth across the country three times in a month. Am I completely missing my gf's side of the story? I honestly don't know what to think, but I know that I feel like crap.
TL;DR: My girlfriend gets mad at me for having fun with my cousins, she hates my family, got incredibly angry at me for picking my grandma's funeral over texting her.
Here was some of the advice he got.
One
Sounds like you're better off breaking up.
No respect whatsoever from your girlfriend. Especially when your grandma is sick and at her funeral. I'm so upset reading this. This is absolutely wrong.
Two
Aside from the gold-digging potential you mentioned in one comment, the biggest issue I see for your future as a couple if that your gf doesn't have the same family values you do. It is clear she has no intention of being an integral part of the family that you love and are very close to. That on its own is a big deal breaker.
Three
Your gf comes off as super controlling and doesn't seem interested in getting to know your family at all. The fact that she was angry at you for going to your grandma's funeral is a big red flag IMO and she doesn't seem to trust you at all. Do you ever feel like she's trying to keep you away from from family and friends?
Four
Girl bye!!
She's an insensitive controlling brat and possibly a gold digger. A death in the family is when your partner is supposed to be at their most supportive and caring, not all this nonsense (texting her sister sh*t about your family? telling you it's a turn off imagining you in heels? what the f*ck??). So many red flags. You can do much better.
Five
My grandmother died a few years ago. My boyfriend comforted me through the news (it was shocking, it came out of nowhere). He listened to me when I wanted to tell stories about her, he was distracting when I told him he needed a distraction. When it was the day of the funeral, he put on a black suit, rented a car, and drove me, my dad, and my cousins to the funeral. It was his first time meeting my extended family and he was polite and gregarious with them. We went out for a big meal after the service and everyone who had just met him pulled me aside to tell me how much they loved him.
I'm telling this story not to brag, but to show how a partner should treat you during a time of mourning. I've gone to friends parents funerals that were 90% in foreign languages and sat quietly and reflected and was there for my friends afterwards. Do you really want to be around someone you can't trust to be there for you when you most need them?
Maybe this is your grandmas last gift to you, showing how untrustworthy, unreliable, and selfish your girlfriend is.
Six
Your girlfriend is on another planet. You had every right to go to your grandmas the times you did go prior to her death, and yes what's wrong with having fun? Nothing. You should have been at the funeral, that was your grandma. Your girlfriend is insecure, untrustworthy, childish, unsympathetic, and a nag. Why would you want to spend the rest of your young life with her? You could do so much better. Good luck.
Seven
A romantic partner is supposed to be a comfort and source of support during hard times, not the cause of additional stress. This woman seems controlling and like she's trying to alienate you from your family. Add in her alarming interest in your inheritance and her general surliness and insistence that every aspect of her life focus on you, and she's just comes across as an overall drain on your life.
Being single is infinitely preferable to having a "partner" like this one.
Eight
Listen. I was in a relationship with a girl JUST like this a few years ago, like what you're describing I almost wondered if it's the same girl. It's gonna be hard to break up, but it is the best thing for you to do. She had turned me against my family, and it took me finally seeing the abusive behavior for myself to stand up and break up with her. When I told her I didn't want to be together anymore, she initially acted very sweet and loving, but when I didn't budge, she actually admitted to cheating on me when I was out of town (which is when she would accuse me of cheating) and said some very hurtful things about me and my family. She showed her true colors, and I'm glad she did, it made it all the easier to forget about her and find the right one for me.
Nine
So - what's the question here? I know you're asking if you did something wrong, but you already know you didn't. Each one of your examples are riddled with poor behaviors demonstrated by your girlfriend (clingy, controlling, manipulative).
I gotta ask: Where's the good? Why are you with her? Personally, there's nothing she could do that would justify putting up with this bologna.
I really hope you realize that she's no good for you, and you totally deserve better - and when that happens, give us an update. I wanna know what happens.
Ten
We're not getting your girlfriend's side of the story, we're getting yours though. I don't know if there's anything your girlfriend could tell me about her side of the story that would lead me to say "Hey wow no I get it, you were totally in the right, u/sici24 needs to get her sh*t together."
Like no matter what, how she behaved during those three visits is not okay. She can have valid reasons for doing so (being in a bad mood, feeling uncomfortable, feeling anxious, missing you, insecurities) but that doesn't EXCUSE what she did or make how she acted okay. At the very least, she needs to work on how she communicates with you and she has to take into account where you're at and put herself aside from a little bit. That's some personal work that SHE needs to do, and maybe there are some changes you can make to help with that, but this is more or less about her.
But like I already said in a different comment, I don't even think it's worth it. This seems like a repeating pattern with her and I've been in relationships where I felt exactly how you feel now--that it was always, always my fault but then when I think about it later, I realize that even if it WAS my fault, I still wouldn't have reacted the way that my partner did. It was only after those relationships actually ended that I realized how f*cked up and toxic they were. It takes a LOT of work for a person to change that deeply, and I'm not saying it's impossible, but I AM saying that your girlfriend needs to be willing to put that work in and also willing to own her part instead of making everything your fault.
You need to figure out if you're happy with her and if you actually want to try to make this work, but based on my own history, I really want you to dump her on her f*cking a** and move onto someone who isn't going to be up your a** yelling at you because you were spending too much time with your family after your grandmother died. Give me a break.
Eleven
it sounds like ur gf believes that u only live for her pleasure and benefit. u can't have ur own life and enjoy anything that doesn't include her or benefit her in any way. Hence, why she is so interested in ur inheritance. if i were u, i would never let her see a cent, and break up with her. she is a garbage human being.
Twelve
At first I was thinking, "okay maybe she's young and a little immature." I had to look at the ages again and she's past the age where it's acceptable to behave in this manner.
A kind and loving partner would be supportive of you if they're with you AND supportive if they were unable to come along. You are there for a funeral, not for some random shindig. It would be reasonable to assume you aren't going to respond right away.
Does she have a job or a life? My god, what you describe sounds absolutely exhausting. I was with someone like that and it drained the life out of me. After I didn't have anything left to give, I grew a spine and told them I deserved a hell of a lot better than how they were treating me and they knew it.
It's easy to say, "dump them" but I'm on the train with other commenters. Your gf isn't going to change, is super selfish and childish (and mention of some gold-digging tendencies). You deserve a partner in life, not a spoiled teenager who throws tantrums when they don't get 500% of your attention.
Good luck OP.
Thirteen
I'm sorry for your loss. Your gf is incredibly selfish and jealous of the connection you have with your family. She is definitely controlling and this is only going to escalate. You have not done anything wrong, her behavior is completely out of line.
I think you need to reflect on whether you want to continue a relationship with her. She showed you her true colors in your time of sorrow and it's not pretty.
Fourteen
My boyfriend (Now husband) lost his grandma when we'd been together for two months. I stayed for a week (teacher, summer holidays) to clean his mum's house and get groceries and stuff so she could grieve and make arrangements. I then held his hand, and at times his brothers', through the funeral and wake.
I say this not to boast, but merely to point out the actions of a decent human being (or at least someone who tries to be.) This is a big, big red flag that shows she gives not a crap about your feelings.
I'm sorry for the loss of both your grandma and this relationship. You deserve better.
Fifteen
This is the best set of red flags possible. You lose no money, you have no children, you're not legally entwined in any way. Get out while the getting is good because this kind of selfishness does not improve with age.
Sixteen
I've live it. The coldness, the unprovoked resentment, the hyperinflated insecurity. Don't. Ever. be made to feel bad by a partner for having a relationship with your family, let alone for simply being happy [or sad or anything] from something that is not totally derived from this childish brat. It's completely unacceptable. I know I am coming off as overly passionate about this, maybe I am, but this was my life for a lot of years and nothing good came of it. I'm not suggesting what to do, I'll leave the power of your decision making to you.. because you are a strong and confident person.. and don't let anyone else tell you otherwise. Your value as a person does not begin and end with this person's skewed sense of reality, relationship/marriage/occupation/whatever.
Employees At Fancy Hotels Divulge Their Best Secrets
Reddit user akumamatata8080 asked: 'People who work at super fancy hotels, what kind of stuff happens that management doesn’t want people to know about?'
Most of us who have not worked in hospitality have dreamed of having a nice getaway for a weekend, or staying in a top-rated hotel, and relaxing in one of its best suites.
But those who have worked in hospitality are ready to point out some of the unexpected features and oddities that circulate around these fancier accommodations.
Redditor akumamatata8080 asked:
"People who work at super fancy hotels, what kind of stuff happens that management doesn't want people to know about?"
Cross-Contamination
"During housekeeping, hotels use different colored cloths to wipe your drinking glasses, cutlery, toilets, and sinks to avoid contamination. They just didn’t bother separating these cloths after wiping and moving to the next room."
- curry-sauce
The Secret Lives of Guests
"I did valet at an upscale hotel in Southern Florida, and the number of times I parked luxury vehicles with drugs haphazardly or precariously stowed in obvious places always blew me away."
"Not surprisingly, those guests were great tippers as they learned who to trust."
- lazerayfraser
Attention to Detail
"We take notes on your reservation profile. Everything from anniversary information to favorite cocktails and foods. We add notes to pass along to other staff."
- dez_navi
Four-Legged Stowaways
"$2k per night and this place has a serious rat problem."
- prof_dynamite
"Could be worse. My hotel has silly rats."
- snapwillow
What in the Mortuary
"It's pretty common to have a dead guest. There's a standard procedure for it and we take care of it quietly."
- Why_am_I_here033
Casino Funds
"I have a pretty interesting one. We know criminal enterprises have funded casinos in the past. I worked at Revel Casino (now Ocean) in Atlantic City before and after its opening."
"One thing they kept mentioning in our onboarding was that the triads were funding the casino. I thought it was super strange that these execs were just openly telling brand new hires."
- hornet_Critical
Like-New Beds
"I only work as a housekeeper at a regular four-star Hotel, but probably about 25% of people either bleed or leave s**t stains on the beds. It's truly atrocious how disgusting people are, especially when they know someone else is cleaning it up. Even the wealthier guests."
"And the best tippers are the cleanest people."
"If someone fully s**t on the bed and used towels to wipe, drank heavily and puked on the carpet in multiple places, and clogged the toilet, that person will not tip at all."
"But the person who barely used the full bed and didn't use the shower at all and was super clean and polite, now that's a good tipper."
- kpo987
Endless Supply of Gossip
"We turn a blind eye to drug dealers more often than you think. They hardly complain and usually pre-pay huge bonds happily. Also, we don't give a s**t if you're having an affair."
- NotTheGary_JustGary
Odd Celebrity Stories
"I worked cooking at an ultra-exclusive resort in Utah ($3k-$12k/night)."
"Nothing that exciting happened in my year there. I found a bottle in the tallboy (large fridge) labeled 'Kristen Belle's Breastmilk. DO NOT USE.'"
"I had put in my two weeks' notice and was really drunk on a day off, and made a post on Facebook about how Gordon Ramsay was coming and I hoped he wasn't filming 'Kitchen Nightmares' with us. I was fired within 24 hours, lol (laughing out loud). I did get to cook fish tacos for him and his family, though, and I heard he complimented the dinner kitchen crew directly (partially open kitchen), which is cool."
- OM3N1R
Poor Cruise Care
"A good friend of mine is a pilot. It's his first professional job. He flies an air ambulance. It's not typically picking up unstable patients in need of urgent care. More like repositioning stable patients."
"The vast majority of people he flies come from the cruise ship industry. If you get sick or injured on a cruise ship, they will dump you at the next port. It doesn't matter if the port doesn't have the kind of medical help you need. They just need you off the ship."
"It very well is up to you to arrange a private flight with medical crew to reposition you from Tobago to Tampa to get the medical help you really need."
- DoctFaustus
Collecting Stories
"We had an entire wing of the hotel infested with bedbugs. They just move through the walls from one room to the next. We waged a war of attrition that took years, and cost a lot of money, but we never stopped renting the rooms."
"We had one old guy though who was rich, divorced several times over, he just retired in the hotel. He had a room on the ground level right around the corner from the hotel bar. I don't know what he paid for it, but it wasn't cheap, and he furnished his own room."
"Everyone on staff knew his habits, knew his drink, knew when to leave him alone or when he wanted to chat. The funniest thing was, after he passed, he'd pre-booked his memorial at a totally different hotel. He liked his privacy, I guess. RIP, Hal."
- machuitzil
Bed Bug Horror Stories
"I worked cheap hotels and this is super common; even heat treating rooms professionally and quarantining nearby rooms they would always pop up somewhere weeks later through an air duct."
"When I check in to any motel or hotel, the first thing I do before bringing my bag in is lift the mattress and check the seams for bed bugs or blood spots. You can learn how from Youtube if you don't get first-hand experience."
"The crazy thing is if they spent a few thousand to bag every mattress they'd cut down on it significantly."
- galkasmash
Wild Stories
"I worked in room service at a very chic hotel in Miami. One guest requested that a specific waitress (not a room service worker) always deliver him food. Not exactly sure what went on in there, but he tipped her with a big bag of weed each time, which she would promptly bring back to share with the room service staff."
"I can confirm that the concierge will get you WHATEVER you want..."
"We had a local couple, who were staying with us to avoid being served for a lawsuit. We weren't allowed to say that they were staying there. The police eventually showed up for them."
"There were several times when guests would come to the front desk claiming the maids had stolen something from their room. They would be irate, demanding we call the police. Every. Single. Time. They found the item either in their luggage or car or their travel companions had moved/packed the item."
"One gentleman claimed that he forgot his very expensive camera in his room. My manager pulled up a video that showed him packing up his car, placing the camera on top of the car, and driving off without realizing it."
- SnarkyVamp
Questionable Christmas Bonus
"I used to work in accounts receivable for a couple of luxury hotels that were owned by the same LLC. We would open blocks of rooms for GENERIC SPORTS SEASON about eight months in advance."
"Due to high demand, these reservations had to be a two-day FRI, SAT stay. The payment was made in full (450-800 depending on room type). Refunds were available only if you canceled a month before the arrival date."
"When I first started in the position, I discovered $63,000 worth of reservations that had been canceled on time but were never refunded."
"I showed it to my manager, an absolutely incompetent woman who couldn't check in a guest if she needed to, she got back to me after discussing it with one of the owners."
"I can't remember how exactly she put it but I was told to just forget the matter and not to mention it to anyone. I got a $500 dollar cash Christmas bonus that year."
- Weirda**mustache
Secret Security
"Not a hotel employee, but associated with a popular convention that everyone would recognize."
"The convention attendees get so out of control that the hotel will only host the convention if they have a private security force."
"Since the private security isn't law enforcement or licensed, they do pretty much whatever it takes to keep trouble out of the public eye. Mostly it's locking people up in rooms or escorting them out of town, but they can get rough at times."
"But none of the convention attendees know they are there and the hotel staff pretends they don't see them. Even those who run afoul of them don't know exactly who it was that grabbed them."
- rusty0123
While everyone might think that staying at a fancy hotel would be great fun, it may not be such an enjoyable experience for those who work there. With all kinds of questionable behaviors performed by guests, not to mention the messes that need to be cleaned up, that fancy hotel may not feel so fancy for very long.
While we may not all enjoy studying history, we all have certain types of stories that interest us, and one that seems to catch everyone's attention are the hard-to-believe, almost far-fetched tales.
Interestingly enough, history is full of these stories, leaving many to believe that reality is truly stranger than fiction.
Redditor ThrowAwayMyLife2341 asked:
"What are some events in recorded history that are extremely hard to believe, but without a doubt actually happened?"
Second Chance Flight
"My colleague was on the plane to Hawaii where the entire top of the plane ripped off… they flew the rest of the way without any overhead."
"They landed and everyone walked off. It's absolutely insane to see the pictures. Talk about being given a second chance."
- SkydivingSquid
Running Late for the Olympics
"In 1908, Russia showed up 12 days late to the Olympics because the world switched calendars while they did not."
- drailCA
"To accommodate the Russian team, some events were rescheduled so that the Russian athletes could participate. This led to a longer duration for those Olympics, which lasted from April 27 to October 31, making it the longest Olympic Games in history."
- parkerjh
An Inescapable War
"The Battle of Bull Run, one of the first battles of the US Civil War, occurred on and around Wilmer McClean's farm in Northern Virginia. Not wanting to live surrounded by war, McClean and his family moved to Appomattox Courthouse, Virginia."
"The Battle of Appomattox Courthouse was the last significant battle between Union and Confederate forces. The Confederates signed the surrender order in Wilmer's sitting room."
"It is said that the Civil War started on Wilmer's farm and ended in his sitting room."
- csudebate
History of Bombings
"There was a Japanese man called Tsutomu Yamaguchi who was on his way to work in Hiroshima in 1945, when he saw falling through the sky, two miles from where he stood, what ultimately turned out to be the atomic bomb."
"He had just enough time to take cover in a ditch as the bomb detonated and miraculously he survived. Somehow the Hiroshima train station was still operational and so Yamaguchi, battered, bombed and bruised, decided to board a train to his family home so he could recover... in Nagasaki."
"Three days later, Yamaguchi was called into work to explain what he saw, which he did. At work, as he began to tell the story of what happened, the second bomb dropped."
"It was the reinforced concrete walls around him that saved him this time, and Yamaguchi quickly ran to find his wife and son. Ground temperatures in the city reached 4,000°C and radioactive rain poured down."
"The family's home was destroyed, but Yamaguchi's wife and son had thankfully been out shopping - looking for burn ointment for Yamaguchi, when the bomb fell, and they'd survived."
"Despite this ordeal of having survived two nuclear explosions and subsequent radiation exposure, Yamaguchi went on to live till 93 yrs of age. He died in 2010 after being recognized by the Japanese government as a 'nijyuu hibakusha,' or 'twice-bombed person.'"
- Voodizzy_
A Monumental Fall
"Nicholas Alkemade fell 18,000 feet without a parachute from a burning plane in 1944 and suffered no serious injury."
- hazps
"I see how the snow cover helped but how he didn’t get skewered by pine trees or break a single bone is shocking."
- switchbladeeatworld
"Imagine what he was thinking when he got up from that fall. What kind of crazy thoughts were running through his head."
- Lankey_Craig
"'Yeah, no one is gonna believe this one.'"
- Pennywise626
"Germans almost didn't, after finding him in just a flight suit but no parachute. They initially pegged him as a spy who'd been dropped behind their lines and had stashed his chute and gear. As such, he was likely to be executed."
"Except Alkemade was so insistent his captors went and found the wreckage of his aircraft, with the burnt remains of his chute stashed behind his gun position. Germans told him the news and shared vodka with him to celebrate."
- JohnnyJohnCowboyMan
Mass Dance in France
"That time everyone died of a dancing sickness where they danced themselves to death in France. Mass hysteria."
- DavinaCole
"St. Vitus’ Dance, as it is called, still doesn’t have a definitely known cause."
"New research as of 2021 shows Sydenham chorea as the most likely cause."
- ENFJPLinguaphile
The Return of the Sun
"The Battle of Halys."
"In roughly 6th century BC, the Medes and the Lydians were at war. The war had lasted for six years and climaxed at the Battle of Halys."
"During the battle, a solar eclipse began. Both sides believed that the Gods were angry at their long and bloody war, and were taking the sun away from them."
"They declared peace that day, and the sun was returned. But yeah, a war ended because of a solar eclipse."
- TheRogueBear
A Spicy Battle
"The Nutmeg Wars. The Dutch and the English went to war THREE times over nutmeg, which at the time was only known to grow on one South Pacific island."
- missoularedhead
Entertaining Prisoners
"Theodore Roosevelt found his boat was stolen. So he built a new boat, tracked the thieves down, and arrested them."
"He then proceeded to walk them multiple days, without sleeping, so they could receive a trial instead of just shooting them on the spot."
"It was in the middle of a harsh winter so he didn’t handcuff them (for fear they’d get frostbite), so instead, he just kept himself awake by reading Tolstoy with a gun trained on them the whole trek."
- Another_Road
"That's only the twenty-second most Teddy thing I've ever read, but a new one, which makes me love it."
- Beard_of_Valor
"I am always half convinced that Teddy Roosevelt was not a real person. No one could have been that absolutely wild and done that many things, but there is just too much overwhelming proof."
- LeSilverKitsune
Christmas Day 1914
"Christmas day 1914. The truce on the WW1 battlefields."
"It shows the humanity inside everyone, but they were able to wake up the next day and go straight back to war, kill the men that they’d spent a sincere day with."
- PotterWhoLock01
Honoring Everyone's Dead
"I can't remember where I saw/heard the story of Christmas Day 1914 (I think from the BBC), but I believe from one of the last-living Tommys, who said that whilst they were forced to start shooting at each other, the majority of shots intentionally missed, from both sides of no man's land."
"I believe it was also the same man who said, in reference to Remembrance Day, to also remember the Germans. That stuck with me. They were like our lads; sent out to fight a war for war's sake, forced to do unspeakable things to other men because some higher-up told them they had to."
- The_Gene_Genie
"Australia is a bit like this with regard to the Turks on ANZAC Day."
"One of the main ceremonies is reading the letter from Turkish commander and later founder of modern Turkey, Kemal Atatürk:"
"'Those heroes that shed their blood and lost their lives... you are now lying in the soil of a friendly country. Therefore, rest in peace. There is no difference between the Johnnies and the Mehmets to us where they lie side by side here in this country of ours...'"
"'You, the mothers who sent their sons from far away countries wipe away your tears. Your sons are now lying in our bosom and are in peace. After having lost their lives on this land they have become our sons, as well.'"
- Zebidee
The Medical Church
"In 1944, during the allied invasion of France, 2 American paramedics, Ken Moore and Robert Wright, 101st Airborne, saved around 80 soldiers of both sides, allied and axis. They set themselves up in a church, had only what was in their first aid kits and medic bags, and had a strict no-gun policy."
"The church was almost destroyed by a mortar shell, but it didn’t go off. It was almost destroyed again, due to friendly fire. Ken Moore would risk his life by venturing out of the church and finding injured soldiers, and both medics stayed behind at the church, even though the rest of their forces had to retreat. Wright took on the responsibility of looking after the soldiers."
"The church still stands in Angoville-au-Plain, France, the blood-stained pews are still there, and a broken tile from the mortar shell was never fixed, to honor the legacy of these men."
"This is very simplified, and probably inaccurate in a few ways, but it is still an incredible story."
- JustACanadianGuy07
A Lack of Perspective
"In 1903, The New York Times published an article about flying machines. They stated that it would take the combined efforts of all Mathematicians and mechanics 1-to-10 million years for powered flight to be achieved."
"Anyway, about nine weeks later, the Wright brothers achieved powered flight for the first time."
"They were also overly cynical after. In 1910 they said that flight would only ever be for billionaires, of course, we had commercial flights by around the 60s achievable for many."
- Joe_PM2804
The Year Without Summer
"1816, The Year Without Summer."
- theassassintherapist
"I'm a big classic horror fan, so I'm kinda glad this happened. Indirectly lead to Mary Shelley writing 'Frankenstein.'"
- UniversalHammer71
An Astronomical Life Cycle
"Halley's Comet appeared in the sky when Mark Twain was born in 1835."
"The comet moves in a seventy-five or seventy-six-year orbit, and, as it neared Earth once again, Twain said, 'I came in with Halley’s Comet and I expect to go out with it.'"
"Sure enough, he died on April 21, 1910, just as the comet made its next pass within sight of Earth."
- SuvenPan
While history may not be everyone's favorite subject, it'd be really hard to believe if someone didn't find at least one of these hard-to-believe occurrences interesting.
Anyone raising children can attest to the difficult challenges involved with being a parent.
And despite every intention of getting it right by doing the best job they can, not everyone is a perfect at being mom or dad.
Hopefully, people will be able to look back on their childhood and recognize that everything their folks did for them was all out of love.
If only that was the case.
Unfortunately, there are those who were never meant to be parents and have scarred their children with bad memories.
Curious to hear from strangers about their experiences growing up, Redditor Deviant55 asked:
"What is something that your parents did that you will never forgive them for?"
Emotional scars run deep for the Redditors here sharing their horrific stories.
Staged Christmas Robbery
"Close to Christmas when I was around 10/11 years old, I was home alone when there was a knock on the door. I answered and it was one of my mum's acquaintances."
"He told me that he'd spoken to my mum and needed to come in to pick some stuff up, so off he went upstairs and proceeded to steal all of the Christmas presents that were destined to be placed under the tree for my brother, sister and I on Christmas morning."
"I was oblivious to what the stuff that needed to be picked up was."
"Mum comes home 30 minutes later, asks if anybody came round whilst she was out."
"Proud as punch I say 'yup, Craig came round and picked the stuff up you told him about.'"
"YOU LET HIM IN THE HOUSE?!?"
'oh crap'
"Mum runs upstairs...."
'he's stolen all of your Christmas presents, you'll have nothing for Christmas now!'
"High drama, anger and profound guilt filled the entire house for the remainder of the night and a while after."
"About 6 months later I overheard a conversation I shouldn't have and figured out that there were no Christmas presents to start with, the whole thing was a setup."
"The household budget didn't stretch to maintaining existence, sating a rampaging heroin addiction AND Christmas presents."
"So yeah, my mum concocted a perfect plan to hide the lack of Christmas presents, remove herself from any perceived blame and let a 10 year old boy think that he had ruined Christmas."
"Those were the days!"
– greenear_1
Losing A Pet
"My mum sold my dog while I was at work. When I came home and was looking for them she told me that someone came to see him today and that they loved and took him. He went to a good home, but I never got to even say goodbye."
– Fenrizian
A Recurring Ailmemt
"My mom left my bro and I behind to go be a methhead while lying to people about having cancer. I've confronted her, told her to show proof of the cancer. Nothing. She gets cancer every five to ten years without going to the doctors."
– ShazBishop
Forced To Referee
"Probably that I ended up being the mediator between my mom and dad as they went through a divorce and one side was being frustrating to communicate with than the other."
"So I in part had to act as a go between information and nagging them to communicate for stuff like medical bills and insurance and school payment stuff from 7-15 or so."
– Hellsoul0
Warning: These involve stories of abuse.
Step-parent get a bad rap because of these unfit parental figures.
Fake Public Persona
"Similar situation. Mom remarried a verbally and physically abusive DBag. The real kicker is him being a teacher at the local High School and loved by the community. He would choke us and throw us around and tell us we would amount to nothing. Even his own children."
"My mom wouldn’t really do anything about it and we complained to my dad. It really messed me and my brother up mentally. Drove us both into deep depression and anxiety as we got into high school. I ended up being a lot bigger than my step dad and he eventually stopped acting that way because I started standing up to him. Now he is pretty chill but I’ll never forgive him for that, or my Mom. My Mom denies denies denies that it was her fault."
– yaboymilky
These examples only reflect a small number of traumatic experiences contributed by Redditors who were brave enough to share their stories.
There were several hundred more examples, showing that it was not uncommon for people to grow up in unloving households.
Hopefully, they have each found a way to find peace and recognize their courage as they realized they were not alone in their trauma based on this emotional thread.
Be it for clothes, household appliances, or food, sometimes you know you can be one hundred percent confident with certain brands or companies when shopping that you will be getting a quality product.
Unfortunately, this goes both ways.
Some companies have a reputation for exclusively selling and manufacturing low-quality products.
One would think that these companies might reflect on poor sales and bad customer feedback, and attempt to improve their brand with each passing year.
Unfortunately, even if they still get items on the shelf, reviews on Amazon and elsewhere still seem to remain at two stars or less.
"What companies shamelessly make sh*t products, year after year?"
False Advertising
"Holiday gift basket companies."
"I once felt obliged to buy one from a lady I worked with and it cost around fifty dollars."
"She had a brochure with various baskets and I chose one that was assorted candies and had a decorative wooden rocking horse."
"When it arrived it was just a bag of candy that I could have paid 35 cents for at a gas station."- Artai55a
30 rock gift basket GIFGiphySave A Few Cents For Inferior Quality
"It’s a throwback, but rose art for sure."
"They just decided their destiny was to sit on the shelf next to Crayola and get purchased by folks who are balling on a budget or cheap."
"No goals for product improvement at all."
"Just 'hey, wanna save three bucks?'"- Lucetti
Improvements Unlikely In This Digital Age
"Any printer manufacturer."- gbeegz
"HP printers."
"I have a $600 fancy laser HP printer we got six or seven years ago, and they have succeeded in updating the software to the point that nothing works anymore."
"I used to be able to print over Wi-Fi easily, scan over Wi-Fi, etc and now none of it works."
"I haven't changed any of my network hardware, things are hardwired."
"Also, I used to be able to use aftermarket ink cartridges and the printer has started giving me sh*t about it."
"I really like HP's computers, but their printers are a bunch of bullsh*t."
"Oh and their auto-update software won't go away even though I keep disabling/ removing it, and it installs software updates that breaks the current functions."- Bazirker
It's The Customer Service You Pay For...
"Oracle."
"Products intentionally sh*tty so they can make most of their money selling consulting just to make it, sort of, work."- s-starr
One Reason Sports Should Always Be Played Outside
"EA sports titles."- Stitches_Ito
Even Carrie Bradshaw Doesn't Like Shoe Shopping THAT Much...
"Doc Martens."
"My old pair from 20 years ago are still going strong, any new pair I get craps out after a year."- korar67
Doc Martens Shoes GIF by SORANGiphyScreaming For Ice Cream... And Not In A Good Way...
"Breyers and their 'Frozen Dairy Dessert' nonsense."
"Before 2006, Breyers ice cream was really good!"
"I loved their coffee ice cream!"
"And then they changed their formula and made the mess they have now to the point that they can't even legally call it ice cream anymore."
"Does anyone remember those old Breyers commercials where the kid tries to read the ingredients on an inferior product and struggles to pronounce things like 'mono & diglycerides' and then easily reads Breyers ingredients as 'milk, sugar, and cream?'"
"What a joke."
"Unilever loves to buy brands people trust for quality products and use that trusted brand name to get people to buy lower quality for higher prices."
"It seriously has the same consistency as Cool Whip now."
"And Unilever has the audacity to say that this is what customers asked for!"- akittyafterus
Who Exactly Is His Audience?
"If lockpickinglawyer is anything to go on its lock-companies."- knatten555
Literally Selling Sh*t...
"Home Depot has been selling manure since its founding in 1978."
"In fact, a quick search of the website found they proudly sell over 178 manure products."- atomicscateboard
The Original "Catfishers"...
"Mad Catz got away with murder for years."- Einar_47
Apple Is Listening...
"Samsung appliances."
"F*CK YOUR FIRMWARE UPDATE ON THE FRIDGE!"
"Also those plastic trays keep breaking and are sh*t quality."
"My 1987 Maytag is still cranking the coldest brews on earth and hasn't been serviced ever in its life and sits in a dark room in my basement since he was demoted from the kitchen for being out of fashion by my wife."- zendor666
Customers Weren't Looking For An Authentic "Frontier" Experience...
"Frontier Airlines."
"Sh*t experience, customer service, quality, reliability, comfort, convenience and fees."- Micklikesmonkeys
There are those who always like to give second chances whenever possible.
When it comes to spending a little more money for a more reliable product, however, customers should rightfully be one and done.