Woman's Grandma Passes Away And Clingy GF's Need For Constant Communication Created Major Problems, And Now She's Not Sure How To Proceed

I mean. There's not much to say. If somebody's dead grandmother is an emotional threat, is it even worth having a fight?



u/sici24 laid out the crazy issue for us:

My grandma died and I feel like my girlfriend's behaviour towards me and my family was out of line [28/29F 2 year relationship]

Hi Reddit. Sorry this is all over the place. I'm pretty tired and upset, and am having a hard time getting my thoughts together..but here it goes.

My grandma (dad's mom) and I didn't have the greatest relationship. Basically my dad's family was super crazy rich and my mom's family is like upper middle class. So my grandma wasn't super thrilled with the marriage. She treats my mom differently than her other daughter/son in laws and this kind of trickled down to me and my brother being treated differently than our cousins.

My grandma wasn't outright mean to us, but it was kind of obvious she had favourites in the way that she didn't give us as good gifts as the other grandkids, she never bragged about our accomplishments to her friends, she'd tell me that I could lose some weight, etc. But I mean… she did still give us gifts, cook our favourite foods when she came to visit, came to our graduations, lots of hugs and kisses..so I feel like she did love us. She was also an old Asian lady, so some of her actions can be attributed to just her being of her generation. I guess it doesn't matter now, bottom line – I had things to complain about but in the end I do love my grandma.

My grandma was in the hospital and my dad knew that she was not doing so well, so he asked me to fly out to my hometown and see her. All of my cousins, aunts and uncles came as well and we had a really lovely family reunion (I am super close to my extended family, but we all live in different states in the US/provinces in Canada so we don't see each other much but it's always awesome when we do) and my grandma was so happy. My girlfriend and I already had plane tickets to visit my parents, so we actually ended up going back to hometown a couple of weeks after that. Grandma was still in the hospital and my girlfriend met her for the first time. She died about a week after we left and I flew out again to go to the funeral and wake. So I went there 3 times (twice alone, once with my gf) and each time I was just…not impressed with my girlfriend's actions

First visit

This was a last minute flight and was pretty expensive, so my girlfriend decided not to come with me. Also we thought it wouldn't be the best situation for her to meet my family for the first time. I was only gone for the weekend (left Friday night, came back Sunday afternoon) and my girlfriend was insistent that I text constantly, call her every night, Skype every morning. I tried my best to text her, but I didn't really want to be on my phone the entire time I was at the hospital visiting my grandma and also catching up with family I hadn't seen in a couple of years. It was evening and my phone was nearly dead. My grandma was asleep, so my brother and cousins and I decided to drive to the mall/grocery store. My girlfriend got so angry at me because I didn't call her at the hospital, I didn't call her while I was in the car (with 7 other people), my phone died and I didn't borrow someone else's phone to call her at the mall, etc. She then also kind of got mad at me for taking the opportunity while my grandma was asleep to have a good time with my cousins instead of calling/video chatting her. I skyped her the next morning and she was still livid and accused me of doing something that I would never do and was actually really insulting. Anyway I went back home the next day and she was still mad at me.

Second visit

This visit was planned before my grandma got sick and my gf met my extended family for the first time. She hated every second of it. My cousins tried to include her by asking what food she'd like to eat so we could pick a restaurant and she just said that we (she and I) would go back to my parents house and eat there (there was no food, we ate cereal for dinner). When we were alone, she'd get mad at me for having fun, laughing, and singing with my cousins. She was sulky the entire time and at one point was in such a bad mood around my family that she said that when we got back home we were breaking up. It then de-escalated to we are never going to a family reunion type thing ever again. She would text her sister about how weird/creepy/embarrassing my family was and when my aunt and uncle celebrated their wedding anniversary, she insisted that we skip the lunch celebration and drive downtown instead.

Third visit

A few days after we got home from the 2nd visit, my dad called me to tell me that my grandma had passed away that morning and if I could make it home that weekend for the funeral and wake and that my girlfriend was invited too, of course. She couldn't take more time off work and also couldn't afford the plane ticket, so I went by myself. My girlfriend never outright said I couldn't go, but it was obvious that she didn't want me to ditch her again. She said things like "You didn't even like your grandma that much why do you have to go to the funeral AND the wake". But screw that, even if I didn't like my grandma I would still want to be there for my dad and the rest of my family. At the funeral home (for the wake), I was texting her a bit and taking pictures of some of my grandma's stuff. I was also chatting with my cousins and my brother. We decided to go into the chapel (I didn't really have signal in here) and I saw my aunt really crying and sobbing and I went to go give her a hug. The wake then started and I took a seat at a pew for the mass and other things. It lasted about 1 ½ hours, and when I got out, I received a ton of messages that my gf had sent that I couldn't receive in the chapel. Basically she was mad at me for not texting her good night immediately before the wake started. I told her that I was in a chapel, so I didn't really have the chance to text her. She said that it only takes a few seconds to text "good night" so I should have taken my phone out during the church service and texted. But honestly…texting her good night was not the most important thing on my mind during my grandma's wake.

The next day was the funeral. I was telling my girlfriend that the shoes I had brought were dirty so I had to borrow my mom's shoes with heels. She then texted me "Wow, the image of you in heels is such a turn-off". Wtf I wasn't telling her that I was wearing heels to turn her on, I was just telling her something about my day. After the funeral, my cousins and I decided to go play a game of basketball. I called my girlfriend to talk to her and when she heard the sounds of the game in the background she got angry and accused me of "having fun". Am I not allowed to have fun? My grandma was super into family and loved having everyone together, so us playing a fun game of basketball would probably be exactly what she had wanted us to do.

This has gotten really long now. So I'll just end it here. What I need help from you guys is..did I do something wrong? Maybe my judgement is all clouded because my grandma died, I spent so much time with family, I had to fly back and forth across the country three times in a month. Am I completely missing my gf's side of the story? I honestly don't know what to think, but I know that I feel like crap.

TL;DR: My girlfriend gets mad at me for having fun with my cousins, she hates my family, got incredibly angry at me for picking my grandma's funeral over texting her.

Here was some of the advice he got.

One

Sounds like you're better off breaking up.

No respect whatsoever from your girlfriend. Especially when your grandma is sick and at her funeral. I'm so upset reading this. This is absolutely wrong.

SammyHoods

Two

Aside from the gold-digging potential you mentioned in one comment, the biggest issue I see for your future as a couple if that your gf doesn't have the same family values you do. It is clear she has no intention of being an integral part of the family that you love and are very close to. That on its own is a big deal breaker.

DRHdez

Three

Your gf comes off as super controlling and doesn't seem interested in getting to know your family at all. The fact that she was angry at you for going to your grandma's funeral is a big red flag IMO and she doesn't seem to trust you at all. Do you ever feel like she's trying to keep you away from from family and friends?

eshtive353

Four

Girl bye!!

She's an insensitive controlling brat and possibly a gold digger. A death in the family is when your partner is supposed to be at their most supportive and caring, not all this nonsense (texting her sister sh*t about your family? telling you it's a turn off imagining you in heels? what the f*ck??). So many red flags. You can do much better.

lesbeanthrowaway92

Five

My grandmother died a few years ago. My boyfriend comforted me through the news (it was shocking, it came out of nowhere). He listened to me when I wanted to tell stories about her, he was distracting when I told him he needed a distraction. When it was the day of the funeral, he put on a black suit, rented a car, and drove me, my dad, and my cousins to the funeral. It was his first time meeting my extended family and he was polite and gregarious with them. We went out for a big meal after the service and everyone who had just met him pulled me aside to tell me how much they loved him.

I'm telling this story not to brag, but to show how a partner should treat you during a time of mourning. I've gone to friends parents funerals that were 90% in foreign languages and sat quietly and reflected and was there for my friends afterwards. Do you really want to be around someone you can't trust to be there for you when you most need them?

Maybe this is your grandmas last gift to you, showing how untrustworthy, unreliable, and selfish your girlfriend is.

veronica_deetz

Six

Your girlfriend is on another planet. You had every right to go to your grandmas the times you did go prior to her death, and yes what's wrong with having fun? Nothing. You should have been at the funeral, that was your grandma. Your girlfriend is insecure, untrustworthy, childish, unsympathetic, and a nag. Why would you want to spend the rest of your young life with her? You could do so much better. Good luck.

smillturn5

Seven

A romantic partner is supposed to be a comfort and source of support during hard times, not the cause of additional stress. This woman seems controlling and like she's trying to alienate you from your family. Add in her alarming interest in your inheritance and her general surliness and insistence that every aspect of her life focus on you, and she's just comes across as an overall drain on your life.

Being single is infinitely preferable to having a "partner" like this one.

MaryMaryConsigliere

Eight

Listen. I was in a relationship with a girl JUST like this a few years ago, like what you're describing I almost wondered if it's the same girl. It's gonna be hard to break up, but it is the best thing for you to do. She had turned me against my family, and it took me finally seeing the abusive behavior for myself to stand up and break up with her. When I told her I didn't want to be together anymore, she initially acted very sweet and loving, but when I didn't budge, she actually admitted to cheating on me when I was out of town (which is when she would accuse me of cheating) and said some very hurtful things about me and my family. She showed her true colors, and I'm glad she did, it made it all the easier to forget about her and find the right one for me.

teampimp

Nine

So - what's the question here? I know you're asking if you did something wrong, but you already know you didn't. Each one of your examples are riddled with poor behaviors demonstrated by your girlfriend (clingy, controlling, manipulative).

I gotta ask: Where's the good? Why are you with her? Personally, there's nothing she could do that would justify putting up with this bologna.

I really hope you realize that she's no good for you, and you totally deserve better - and when that happens, give us an update. I wanna know what happens.

hellowittyx

Ten

We're not getting your girlfriend's side of the story, we're getting yours though. I don't know if there's anything your girlfriend could tell me about her side of the story that would lead me to say "Hey wow no I get it, you were totally in the right, u/sici24 needs to get her sh*t together."

Like no matter what, how she behaved during those three visits is not okay. She can have valid reasons for doing so (being in a bad mood, feeling uncomfortable, feeling anxious, missing you, insecurities) but that doesn't EXCUSE what she did or make how she acted okay. At the very least, she needs to work on how she communicates with you and she has to take into account where you're at and put herself aside from a little bit. That's some personal work that SHE needs to do, and maybe there are some changes you can make to help with that, but this is more or less about her.

But like I already said in a different comment, I don't even think it's worth it. This seems like a repeating pattern with her and I've been in relationships where I felt exactly how you feel now--that it was always, always my fault but then when I think about it later, I realize that even if it WAS my fault, I still wouldn't have reacted the way that my partner did. It was only after those relationships actually ended that I realized how f*cked up and toxic they were. It takes a LOT of work for a person to change that deeply, and I'm not saying it's impossible, but I AM saying that your girlfriend needs to be willing to put that work in and also willing to own her part instead of making everything your fault.

You need to figure out if you're happy with her and if you actually want to try to make this work, but based on my own history, I really want you to dump her on her f*cking a** and move onto someone who isn't going to be up your a** yelling at you because you were spending too much time with your family after your grandmother died. Give me a break.

nikkidubs

Eleven

it sounds like ur gf believes that u only live for her pleasure and benefit. u can't have ur own life and enjoy anything that doesn't include her or benefit her in any way. Hence, why she is so interested in ur inheritance. if i were u, i would never let her see a cent, and break up with her. she is a garbage human being.

mumute

Twelve

At first I was thinking, "okay maybe she's young and a little immature." I had to look at the ages again and she's past the age where it's acceptable to behave in this manner.

A kind and loving partner would be supportive of you if they're with you AND supportive if they were unable to come along. You are there for a funeral, not for some random shindig. It would be reasonable to assume you aren't going to respond right away.

Does she have a job or a life? My god, what you describe sounds absolutely exhausting. I was with someone like that and it drained the life out of me. After I didn't have anything left to give, I grew a spine and told them I deserved a hell of a lot better than how they were treating me and they knew it.

It's easy to say, "dump them" but I'm on the train with other commenters. Your gf isn't going to change, is super selfish and childish (and mention of some gold-digging tendencies). You deserve a partner in life, not a spoiled teenager who throws tantrums when they don't get 500% of your attention.

Good luck OP.

Criticalfluffs

Thirteen

I'm sorry for your loss. Your gf is incredibly selfish and jealous of the connection you have with your family. She is definitely controlling and this is only going to escalate. You have not done anything wrong, her behavior is completely out of line.

I think you need to reflect on whether you want to continue a relationship with her. She showed you her true colors in your time of sorrow and it's not pretty.

ugghyyy

Fourteen

My boyfriend (Now husband) lost his grandma when we'd been together for two months. I stayed for a week (teacher, summer holidays) to clean his mum's house and get groceries and stuff so she could grieve and make arrangements. I then held his hand, and at times his brothers', through the funeral and wake.

I say this not to boast, but merely to point out the actions of a decent human being (or at least someone who tries to be.) This is a big, big red flag that shows she gives not a crap about your feelings.

I'm sorry for the loss of both your grandma and this relationship. You deserve better.

millythepode

Fifteen

This is the best set of red flags possible. You lose no money, you have no children, you're not legally entwined in any way. Get out while the getting is good because this kind of selfishness does not improve with age.

MikkiTh

Sixteen

I've live it. The coldness, the unprovoked resentment, the hyperinflated insecurity. Don't. Ever. be made to feel bad by a partner for having a relationship with your family, let alone for simply being happy [or sad or anything] from something that is not totally derived from this childish brat. It's completely unacceptable. I know I am coming off as overly passionate about this, maybe I am, but this was my life for a lot of years and nothing good came of it. I'm not suggesting what to do, I'll leave the power of your decision making to you.. because you are a strong and confident person.. and don't let anyone else tell you otherwise. Your value as a person does not begin and end with this person's skewed sense of reality, relationship/marriage/occupation/whatever.

elJefedcog

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Reddit user ambitchious70 asked: 'What movie blew your mind the 1st time you watched it?'

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There's nothing more thrilling than going to see a movie inside a theater for the first time.

The anticipation builds as the lights dim, all the previews are finished, and the production company and studio distributor titles appear–signaling the movie you've been waiting for so long to see is about to begin.

Is going to be awesome? Will it tank? Who cares?

It's all about taking in the moment and experiencing the story unfolding without knowing what happens next.

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Dodged A Bullet—And Screwed Someone Else
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Stepping back from the curb right before someone runs a light. Catching a mistake at work right at the last minute. These sorts of “dodged a bullet” situations happen all the time—but rarely do they end up affecting others. Redditors came together to share their unforgettable stories of the times when their narrow miss ended up screwing over someone else entirely.

1. The Switch-Up

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My freshman year of college my best friend and I requested to live together. Well, housing messed up and put us in two separate rooms with two other roommates. We talked to one of the guys and he agreed to switch rooms with me—but there was something that none of us knew.

It turns out that my original roommate was a 300-lb tuba player who didn’t shower. I felt bad for the guy who switched with me, but there was nothing I could do about it.

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2. The Leftovers

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I went to a Chinese restaurant on Haight Street a few years ago. My friends and I had eyes bigger than our stomachs. We left the place with a huge bag of leftovers.

On the way home we saw a lady in a wheelchair begging for change near the freeway on-ramp. We decided quickly that she needed the food more than us. We gave her the entire bag of food. She seemed genuinely thankful for the food and thanked us profusely.

That night we ALL got incredibly sick from the food. As much as that sucked…all I could imagine was some poor old lady in a wheelchair scrambling to find a bathroom.

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3. A Downhill Battle

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Anyway, I go down the slope and get to the bottom and I look up. What I saw still haunts me. The girl with the broken tube was just stuck in the middle of the slope as some 200-pound man just slams into her knocking her about 15 feet in the air, leading to her ultimately just rolling down the slope without a tube, crying hysterically.

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4. A Different Kind Of Draft Dodging

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He later found out that San Francisco was simply a staging point where they sent men to prepare for the front lines, and heavy duty combat. Whoops.

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5. Stick Em Up

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Oh yes, I felt very bad about it.

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My family friend decided that it'd be better to be on a street corner handing out fliers/holding signs/whatever on a beautiful September Tuesday than in his Chinatown Manhattan firehouse, so he switched shifts with another guy in the house. The date was September 11, 2001. That guy didn't make it home.

The family friend was driving in from his home in Westchester to start his canvassing shift at about 10 am when he heard the news, and immediately went to the HazMat station in Queens to get his gear. By the time he made it to the site, both towers had fallen.

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7. Falling On The Sword

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8. The Train Has Left The Station

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Only then did I notice that the man had no arms. When the train started moving he couldn't hold on and kept falling over.

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9. Nickel-And-Dimed

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Somehow the front came off of the dispenser and all the change in it fell out. It was full of change. Change fell out of the drive-through window out into the street. She looked like she was about to cry. I parked my car and got out and helped her pick up what I could.

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10. Left Holding The Baby

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11. What Are The Chances

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The third guy moves his backpack off the empty seat and I sit down. That’s when it happens. No sooner do I sit down, but another man boards the bus. He appears to have soiled himself, and then bathed in motor oil and brushed his teeth with a tin of sardines. He walks right up to the first guy and collapses in the seat next to him.

Next up is a woman. She's wearing a muumuu, sweating profusely, and is carrying two armloads of various cheese and meat snacks for the trip. She squeezes into her seat and plasters the second guy up against the window as he tries in vain to avoid having to touch her.

At this point, I stand up to remove my coat and say, "Hey guys, great choices!" giving them both the thumbs up!

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12. Say Cheese!

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I was working at a photography studio and traded appointments with another photographer. He ended up with two screaming 3- and 4-year-old girls who cried for an hour while their mother and grandmother tried to force them to cooperate. It was 8 AM.

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13. What A Thrill Ride

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Me, my husband and a couple friends went to an amusement park a few years back. We were waiting in line for a roller coaster, and there was enough room at the end of one of the rides for my husband and I to get on, but not our friends too. So we let the couple in line behind all of us go ahead, so we could all go together on the next one.

We waited a REALLY long time for the next ride...then the attendant told us there was a problem and the ride would be shut down for a while. We left the line to go elsewhere, and saw waaaaaaay up at the top of one of the big hills, the coaster was stuck.

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14. Better Luck Next Time

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It didn't take long for me to realize why he was so happy. If you saw the Opening Ceremony you may remember a huge tree at one end of the track, it was part of the ceremony. There was a section of seating stupidly placed right behind the tree, it blocked the view quite badly.

I kept looking over to them, they seemed so happy together, I didn't want to spoil their evening by swapping back. But I literally could not see anything with this tree in front of me, the people sat around me seemed to be complaining about it as well.

Eventually, with about 5 minutes before the ceremonies began, I asked the guy next to me if he was by himself—he was. I said fine, I'll get you a better seat. I went over to the couple, the stadium is full by now, so it was kind of awkward. I told them that the tree was bugging me and I'd like to swap back, but if they wanted to sit together they now could as there were now two seats available since I got matey to swap as well.

They looked so heartbroken but both went trudging off to the seats behind the tree. The wife, herself, thought twice about swapping and both looked back forlornly as they found their positions. Matey and I enjoyed a great opening ceremony, he couldn't believe his luck but I felt bad for the couple.

trakam

15. Lightning Strikes Twice

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I used to be an IT intern and we would have to share weekend shifts in the data center. There would be one person there for 12 hours basically all alone with nothing to do. I switched shifts with one of the other interns so I could do something that weekend. Well that day there was a huge storm and they lost power. He had problems with the backup generator and after the UPS ran out the building lost power. I'm not exactly sure how he messed that one up, but the bosses were not happy and he didn't last long after that.

roriok

16. Whoops

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In ninth grade, our teacher handed back our Algebra test and I had missed two problems on it. I wanted to know what the right answers were so I asked the girl next to me if she got them right. She looks at her test and sees that she did so she tells me what she came up with. Our answers were the same but mine were marked wrong and hers were marked right. We bring our sheets up to the teacher and she re-evaluates our tests.

It turns out that we were both wrong but the teacher just messed up grading the girls' test. She marks them wrong and gives the girl a lower grade. I felt so bad since she was just trying to help me out. But that’s not the worst part.

That would be that I had a huge crush on her so my chances went out the door with this incident.

RandomEarthling

17. Not My Brother’s Keeper

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I was on a 56-hour bus ride. I was sleeping in the middle of the night when a woman began screaming "Stop touching me". The guy beside her tried to feel her up while she was sleeping. The bus driver asked if anyone would switch seats with him, no one was volunteering so I said I would. Only to realize that I just volunteered my brother to sit beside a creep.

sideshowchad

18. Buckle Up

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During high school, I began volunteering as an EMT and stuck with it for ten years (I actually only just retired a few weeks ago because I'm starting grad school). Early on, before I was qualified to be in charge, I rode a position called "co-pilot:" The ambulance I rode would be comprised of the driver and the officer up front, and I would ride in the back.

When we responded to calls, especially if they were nearby, I often wouldn't take the trouble to buckle my seatbelt and would try to prep equipment and bags so we could get to the patient as quickly as possible. One particular weekend I was riding extra on the ambulance (it wasn't my regular duty, I was just there for fun) and on a whim decided to leave a little early. Two hours later, my ambulance was responding to a call when disaster struck.

Two blocks away from our station got into a really bad accident. The ambulance had the light and had even slowed at the intersection, but they were T-boned by a driver who's pregnant wife was in labor and was racing to the hospital. The ambulance got knocked over and pushed 30' down the road from the impact.

Luckily, no one was injured, the baby was ultimately delivered safely, and the patient they were responding to was not a critical situation. But the equipment in the back was not secured or stored especially well, including the portable O2 bottle, and if I were on that unit I'm sure I would have been severely injured and very possibly wouldn’t have made it.

Afterward (and especially when I was in charge) I adhered firmly to "We're not going anywhere until everyone has their seatbelts on." In recent years, fire departments everywhere have increased efforts to foster a culture of safety, but traffic accidents remain the number one killers of first responders in the US.

shaggorama

19. Taking One For The Team

people sitting inside planePhoto by Hanson Lu on Unsplash

I traded seats with a guy on a seven-hour flight so I could sit next to my girlfriend. He ended up sitting next to the two most annoying children on the whole plane. I felt bad during the flight but, I hate to say it, really didn't want to have to trade back.

After the flight, while waiting for baggage, I went up to him and said thanks again and sorry about that, I couldn't have foreseen that happening. He said no problem and that he "took one for the team." Nice guy.

OP_deliveries

20. Mystery Meat

a person holding a tray of doughnuts on a sidewalkPhoto by Clark Douglas on Unsplash

I gave a fellow student explosive stomach problems and physically ruined his appearance before his big speech. I still remember his face.

There was this other guy in our college's required public speaking class who was extremely nervous about this speech he was going to give. Kid had to be just barely 18; definitely a freshman. I had this big break between my former class and the speech class, so I would just hang around the cafeteria finding stuff to do. I noticed him sitting down at a table alone, sweating and reading off note cards. I walked over and offered to buy the guy lunch, thinking I could help him calm down. He accepted.

The special of the day happened to be a meatball sub. His sub made it to the table, mine didn't. I don't remember what I tripped on, but I DO remember my meatball sub falling directly on his suit. It's not as if it simply spilled on his shirt, it's like all his clothing absorbed it. The meatballs had slammed into his suit and rolled down to his pants, enveloping his entire being in saucy goodness.

He didn't even say anything. He sat down in a chair and stared straight ahead. He had gone completely white in the face. I apologized profusely and ran straight off to our bookstore that thankfully sells clothing. I bought him some sweatpants and a sports jacket and ran back.

He was still in the same position. I gave him the clothes, telling him it was the best I could do, and re-apologized all over myself. He went and changed and came back, finished his meal, and it actually looked like he was calm, collected, and ready.

Got to the classroom, he starts his speech, and then it happens. He's halfway on some stupid diagram about how Morse code should be considered a language requirement when he stops literally mid-sentence. He ran to the bathroom. He never came out. The teacher had to give him an F, even though I found out later the sub had apparently given him stomach trouble and made him really sick.

I haven't eaten a meatball sub in six years now.

thefluffyburrito

21. Mistakes Were Made

brown leather 3-seat sofaPhoto by Paul Weaver on Unsplash

I had a friend who worked at a furniture store and would get an employee discount of 50%. I was moving and needed a couch, so he offered to buy it using his discount. He asked for my credit card, which I provided, then proceeded to buy the furniture at a discount with my card. His manager asks why it's being run on my card, and fires my friend.

I did think it was weird that he asked for my card, thinking it would be cleaner if I just paid him back, but since he was the one that asked for it I figured either the policy was ok with that, or that the name on the CC wouldn't blatantly be right there, and that he would know better...oops.

permalink

22. It’s All Yours

black Ford carPhoto by Michael Jin on Unsplash

This kid I knew ran and jumped into the passenger seat even though a friend of mine had called it. My friend was a super nice guy and let him have it and sat in the back seat. No one had any idea just what the innocent switch would cost them.

The car lost control around a corner and my friend got crushed between a tree and the car and didn’t make it. Sucks hard. The poor kid who took the front seat looked like a ghost at the memorial service.

chrispyb

23. The Unintentional Grinch

grey trash canPhoto by Pete Willis on Unsplash

When I was a kid, my neighbors paid me to feed their dogs and collect their mail while on vacation. Every day I dutifully collected the mail and placed it in a brown paper bag in our laundry room. Two days before they were set to return, Dad was taking out the trash. He has bad eyes (retrolental fibroplasia), saw the bag, thought it was trash, and took it out with the rest of the garbage.

The worst part was that it was around the holidays, so there were several (quite valuable) Christmas gifts in the bag. Of course, he apologized profusely and paid them for the estimated value of the gifts, and the neighbors were incredibly understanding, but I still felt sick about it for a solid month. To this day, just thinking about it makes me cringe.

danman_d

24. Cover Me

waitress serving costumer in diner during daytimePhoto by Adrien Olichon on Unsplash

I can't think of a time when I've put someone in a bad situation. However, there was a time when I was put in the bad situation. I used to deliver pizza at this restaurant and worked with a guy who was in a band. His band would play shows almost every Friday, but he'd never request off. He'd just forget and try to call someone to cover the day of. Anyway, I got that call one day and said I'd cover for him. Since it was on about an hour's notice, I got to work and told my manager I'd just stay for the busy time (about 5-8 pm) and leave after that. He was cool with it, so I worked until about 8:30 that night and left.

Shortly after I leave, disaster strikes. The owner of the restaurant comes in, sees that I left early, freaks out, calls me up and fires me. I had worked there for 6 years and essentially got fired for coming in when I didn't have to and helping the company. What happened to the guy I covered for? He still works there. This was about three years ago. Yep.

Bobbyeggertonson

25. Bus-ted

people sitting on bench in front of building during daytimePhoto by Sandy Ravaloniaina on Unsplash

A man and I were waiting for the same bus to get home. He asks me if I know when the bus will arrive, and I tell him, though the bus seemed to be running a few minutes late. The bus we were looking for is barreling down the highway as a different bus is pulling into the transit center. I say "Hey, there it is," as our bus approaches. I board, take my seat, and notice that the man was not on the same bus as me. He boarded the other bus that had pulled in.

A4K

26. Pizza Peril

person holding pizza in boxPhoto by Arantxa Aniorte on Unsplash

Back in 1995, while a student at UF, I delivered pizza for 5 Star Pizza in downtown Gainesville. I got to work one summer day around 5 pm, still very sunny out.

We had the standard first in first out for who got the next delivery. There was only one order to be delivered. It was close by, one block north of a major right, right across the street from the college campus.

I thought I was next up since I didn’t see anyone else logged in before me. I bagged things up and was almost out the door when this other driver—a long-haired skinny hippie type that maybe weighed 140 soaking wet—comes out from the back. He had been there first but I didn’t see him and he hadn’t logged in. So I gave up the run figuring it’s no big deal, they’ll be more soon enough.

He didn’t come back and a couple of hours later we get a call from the authorities. That’s when I found out the disturbing truth. Apparently, he was jumped by six males in their late teens/early 20s. They broke both his cheekbones, nose, jaw, some teeth, and wound up having to have facial reconstructive surgery.

When I saw him again two months later, he said they took his money as an afterthought. They just wanted to beat the snot outta someone.

davebg8r

27. The Price You Pay For Altruism

white sedan parked on parking lot during daytimePhoto by Guillaume TECHER on Unsplash

I needed somebody to follow me to the mechanic shop. My car was riding dirty and I was worried it might break down on the way. As I was taking a right onto the freeway, my buddy didn't stop so he could stay right behind me and he got pulled over by a Highway Patrolman. He got a $175 ticket. I paid for half.

Bill_Parker

28. Winner Winner Burger Dinner

grayscale photography of man's portraitPhoto by Jorg Karg on Unsplash

In the 80s in Oxford, my dad felt sorry for a homeless guy begging for food so decided to take him for a meal at the nearby Wimpy’s. The guy was incredibly grateful and over his burger and shake let loose the tale of his life. Apparently it was full-on tragic. Wife left him, took the kids and the dog, he got dependent on the demon drink. He lost his job, then his house, all his money, this guy was at rock bottom.

But here was this stranger, my dad, buying him a meal, listening to his story—the homeless guy was pathetically grateful. My dad left early with an apology—the guy still eating—he had to get a train to Durham. Full of pride at the good deed he'd done, he had just left Stevenage when he made a chilling realization.

He had forgotten to pay the bill at Wimpy’s, leaving the tab firmly in the hands of the penniless tramp. My dad says he has never felt guiltier in his life.

purplepatch

29. The Picky Eater

a baby crying while laying on a bedPhoto by Katie Smith on Unsplash

I breastfed my eldest son. Once, when he was five months old, my husband and I wanted to go out to a ball. So my sister offered to babysit him. When I asked what she was going to do, she told me just to get some formula and bottles, and I'd be right.

So, that's what I did. We went out, had a wonderful night, and my husband won the prize for best dressed.

Now, this was in the days before cell phones were widespread in Australia. I come home six hours after leaving and find out the kid wouldn't take the bottle, and has been screaming non-stop for five of the hours we'd been out. I apologized profusely. The poor thing. She was really cool about it though. Never imposed on her again to babysit—I figure she'd done her tour of duty.

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30. The Worst Game Of “Would You Rather” Ever

man covering his mouthPhoto by Kyle Glenn on Unsplash

I was taking the bus home from the city to my house (about 40 minutes) and it was EXTREMELY bright outside from the sun. My bus finally came right on the dot at 5:37 PM. But there was something that I didn’t know.

This bus was actually the 260, and NOT the 250 I was supposed to be getting on. However, the bus route is exactly the same, except for the exit it takes on the freeway, which all looks the same to me as a 15-year-old. When it exited the freeway, I knew where I was, but I knew this wasn't where I was supposed to be going. I ask the guy next to me if this was the 250, he says no, this is the 260.

At this point, I'm just like ugh, and quickly head to the front of the bus to ask the driver where the nearest transit center or park ride he was heading to was. He tells me he isn't going near one and suggests I get off here and grab this other bus, so I do.

I notice a Pump It Up—one of those kids' rec centers—across the street, which I recognized because I had driven by it before. Now I'm sitting here an hour away from my home, and I start to panic. I try to calm myself and check my phone, and call my friend who lives in the area, to see if he can tell me a bus I could take to get home.

He picks up right away and I explain my situation, he then tells me some good news. "Ayyyy man we're down at the marina you should come join us mannn, it's a party doooood, not too far from where you're at too". But I'm a bit scared so I ask him if he could just pick me up, and he's like "Ugh fine, hold tight I'll be there in a bit." Big mistake.

So I head over to the Pump It Up and chill there for a bit, but then one of the chicks working there, who were all really nice and let me hang out in the lobby, says that the bus out there goes right to where I want to go to get to the marina. So I call my friend back and try to let him know I don't need a ride anymore. But what's this, my phone’s battery is about to die.

Now at this point, I'm just like ugh how am I going to contact him? One of the girls working there, again, really great people, lets me borrow her phone so I can message him on Facebook, and hope he sees it in time.

So I get on the bus, and then get off at a transit center and mosey on over to the marina. I get there all excited, look around—but I don’t like what I find. I don't see any of my buddies, so I keep on looking around as there's a lot of people there. After about 10 minutes I realize no one I know is there. I walk for another 20 minutes to the local library and ask the librarian if I can call my mom because my phone died and I need a ride home.

Now at this point, I'm sitting out there on the library steps at 8 pm, feeling like a total loser, abandoned by his friends. I use the library Wi-Fi to check my Facebook messages. I notice there's an option to check the locations of where a mobile message on Facebook was sent, as I accidentally clicked on it when going through my messages.

I click on it, and make an irritating realization. I see it was sent from a marina, but not the marina I was at. Turns out they were at the OTHER major marina in the area, across the city, that we hadn't hung out at for like two years. I had gone to the other major marina where we almost always meet up. Now I'm practically fuming and in my head I'm like "WHY DIDN'T THEY TELL ME THIS".

When I get home I send him a long nasty message on Facebook (we're really good friends so I knew it wouldn't be too extreme to call him out like that). He replies and tells me, dude, let me explain what happened to me, and all your anger shall disappear. That’s when I find out the real story. My day was nothing compared to his.

He tells me "I was nearly at Pump It Up and I was waiting at a really long, drawn-out red light. Do you remember how I got my wisdom teeth out the other day? Yeah well I have to take this medication for it. A medication that realllllyyyy loosens up the plumbing and renders any control of them, useless. Now this was a very, very ill-timed light, and unfortunately I didn't make it. I tried to hold it, but it broke through”.

The story continued: “Fortunately I had my bathing suit with me, and turned into the gas station nearby and put that on. I got home and was going to throw them out, happy to be done with this horrific incident, when my mom stopped me and said "Oh no, I paid 20 bucks for these shorts. You're cleaning them out."

Suddenly walking like a loser on the beach and awkwardly looking around only to not find anyone I knew, then waiting for my mom at the library at 8 o'clock at night, didn't feel too bad.

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31. Double Whammy

person wearing face mask near trees at daytimePhoto by nick olson on Unsplash

My mom was working at a craft store, as a cashier. It was getting late, and after a long shift she had to go to the bathroom. There were hardly any customers in the store, so she got her friend to cover for her. On her way back from the bathroom, she sees some guy in a ski-mask run up to her friend with a knife. Everybody was freaking out in the store, and the guy made off with a bunch of money. Luckily, her friend sustained no wounds. However, shortly thereafter, she passed out and hit her head pretty hard.

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32. The Freshman Fake-Out

aerial photography green and white concrete buildingPhoto by Parker Gibbons on Unsplash

First week on campus freshman year, I was walking out of a first-year seminar and ended up talking with a moderately cute girl on the way out. Once we were outside, she said she got turned around easily and asked if I could point her to North campus (I go to Ohio State, so it's one of the biggest campuses in the country and extremely easy to get very lost, mostly only your first week though). I lived on North too, but instead of being cool and asking if I could walk her to her dorm, I just pointed her North.

I got a call just as she was walking off and stopped for a minute to talk. During that minute I realized I’d made a huge mistake. I was also turned around and had pointed her South, with South campus being a somewhat shady area to be walking around in after 10. She was too far to catch up to. I just walked back to my dorm.

Two weeks later I talked to her again, she wasn't too angry, but said she was trying to decide if I was mistaken as well or just a jerk. Regardless, I found out we lived in the same dorm.

WalrusExtraordinaire

33. Duck!

save up to 50% Black Friday clip artPhoto by Ashkan Forouzani on Unsplash

I was working a double on Black Friday at a store in a strip mall. On my break, I ran over to the Qdoba a few shops down and got in line. The guy in front of me turned and recognized me; I had rung him out a few hours prior, and he asked if I was done. I said no, I was working midnight-noon, and he told me to cut in front of him, he had three kids in the car plus his wife and himself that he was ordering for and didn't want me to waste more time in line. So I said thank you very much and we traded places.

There was now a woman standing behind him holding a baby. Not two minutes after we changed spots in line, this baby projectile vomited all over this nice man's back, and the woman just muttered an apology before rushing off.

That could have been me, nine hours into a (Black Friday) shift with a few more to go.

siriuslives

34. It’s Lonely At The Top

ferris wheel near body of water during daytimePhoto by Patrick Humm on Unsplash

I was at a fair a couple months ago, and I was waiting in line with my friends for the Ferris wheel. When we were at the very front of the line, we saw some crying children behind us (I don't know why they were crying). We let them go in front of us, and they got on the last seat on the ride. I’ll never forget what happened next.

As soon as they got up to the top, the Ferris wheel broke down. Everyone was stuck on it for the next hour. I felt so bad.

Flower_Child135

35. What We’ve Got Here Is A Failure To Communicate

File:DakToVietnam1966.jpg - Wikipediaen.wikipedia.org

My grandfather was a Marine who served in Vietnam. He was supposed to take a plane to a different base he was supposed to be at, but the end of the runway had a huge mountain right there. Fearful that the plane would hit the mountain and explode, he refused to board.

Unfortunately the plane did hit the mountain and blew up. Not a single person survived. No one knew that he hadn’t been on the plane. A week later, he went to a store to get bed sheets.

The guy there turned white as a ghost thinking that the man in front of him was a ghost—he’d just happened to have read his obituary!

permalink

36. Road Raging

white and blue police car on roadPhoto by Jonathan Cooper on Unsplash

I was driving on the highway, passing people and being passed like normal. I pass this one guy and then go back into the right lane once I'm a safe distance ahead. Then I switch on the cruise control. Problem is, I didn't switch on the cruise control. I drop 15 mph before I notice my mistake and the guy behind me rightfully gets angry.

We continue driving, we both pass each other a few times over the next hour or so like normal. But at this point he is so sick of me that absolutely guns it up to 90 mph just to get as far away from me as he can. I can’t believe what I saw next.

Four minutes later I pass him again but this time he is pulled over by a cop on the side of the highway. If you're reading this, I'm sorry I got you a ticket.

MABrez

37. A Slip Of The Pen

black pen on white backgroundPhoto by Kiran CK on Unsplash

Once in a class, me and a friend were playing a stupid game where we weren't allowed to touch a specific pen. So we would use paper, other pens, etc to push the pen across the table to make the other person touch it. The pen eventually fell and I asked a girl close to where it landed if she could pick it up for me.

She reached down and as she starts to pick it up toward me, I say quickly "don't hand it to me, just set it on the table." She picked up the wrong pen. The one she picked up had broken and ink was all over her hand. Obviously she assumed the whole thing was a prank by me to make her get ink all over her hand.

Posseon1stAve

38. Come On And Take A Free Ride

brown and gray 3-story buildingPhoto by Rosie Kerr on Unsplash

I got flown down to New Orleans to compete in Tales of the Cocktail. Flight, hotel and some expenses were taken care of. When I landed, I met up with someone from my home city who offered me a seat in her ride. As we're walking to baggage claim, she points off to the side and says "Is that you?" it's a driver holding a sign with my first initial and my last name.

I thank the girl for the offer and hop in the car. The driver goes to confirm my destination which was different than I was originally told, so I call up my contact. I thank her for the car and ask her if my accommodations have changed. She says, "We didn't arrange a car for you..."

That’s when I enacted my devious plan. I roll with it, have the driver take me to my hotel, and ask her if everything, including tip, has been taken care of. She tells me that it has been and I slip her a $20 figuring she's only a few minutes away from receiving an angry phone call.

jonnielaw

39. Missed Connection

shallow focus of a woman's sad eyesPhoto by Louis Galvez on Unsplash

I was invited to a party where a girl tried to give me a lap dance. After she was done she told me to meet her in the bathroom. The girl wasn't my type, and I was dating someone, so I sent my friend instead.

Long story short: the two of them hooked up in the bathroom and the girl of his dreams, who was also at the party, found out and never spoke to him again. It turns out that, after five years of knowing him, she started to have feelings for him and this whole situation ruined everything. Oops.

AdvLogic

40. Bad Timing

silhouette of buildings under dark skyPhoto by History in HD on Unsplash

My uncle works for Wells Fargo and was supposed to go on a business trip that would take him to their office in NYC, but he came down with the flu the week of the trip and asked a co-worker to go in his place. Well…their office was in the World Trade Center and the trip took place in September 2001.

His co-worker didn’t make it home. I'm glad my uncle's okay, but my entire family feels bad about it. My uncle went to therapy for a while and did everything he could to support and comfort the man's widow, who is a lovely person and never blamed my uncle for what happened.

Alyssum18

41. Suzy The Savior

man in blue dress shirt standing in airplanePhoto by Lukas Souza on Unsplash

This very timid-looking mother called a flight attendant over to me and her to have her ask me to switch seats with her son who was two rows up. I had the luxurious aisle seat, and the son had the very awful middle seat, but I said I would switch. I move all my stuff only to make an unpleasant discovery. I find a huge guy has taken the aisle seat. It's a full flight and boarding has finished. I squeeze my way into the middle seat and force my armrests down, only to have the Huge guy inform me that cannot happen due to his size.

During our flight a stewardess came over to our aisle and says to the man that in the future he has to purchase two seats. She sees me in my uncomfortable state and tells me she has something to show me. She takes me to the back of the plane to hang out with the other stewardesses for the remainder of the flight. They had an extra fold-down seat for me. If you are reading this, thank you Suzy the stewardess.

lunchbox829

42. Mother Doesn’t Know Best

File:Walmart Electronics Department- Manitowoc, WI - Flickr ...commons.wikimedia.org

At Wal-Mart back in '99, my mom took me to buy a new game for the N64. I was determined to buy Star Wars Episode 1: Racer. Apparently there was another kid who had the same idea. When we got there, there was only one copy left. I luckily got the game, and the kid wasn't too happy. His mom said, "It's okay, we'll just get you this one instead."

The game she picked out? Superman 64—famously one of the worst video games of all time.

tekjansen09

43. I’d Hit The Ceiling

silhouette of man in snow stormPhoto by Zac Durant on Unsplash

One winter there was a huge, freak snowstorm so the hospital I work at rented out a nice hotel within walking distance to ensure there would be enough staff the next day. I put my name down for a room before my dad let me know that he would pick me up and drop me off in his big ol' truck. I gave my spot to a co-worker I barely knew—this cutie little energetic blonde college student.

She was extremely thankful she didn't have to drive back to her dorm several miles away. The next day she looks kind of grouchy and disheveled and informs me that the ceiling caved in on her in the middle of the night OVER her bed and she got an icy, insulation and drywall soup bath.

Nosir_I_dont_like_it

44. Don’t Be Shellfish

four shrimps on top of icePhoto by AM FL on Unsplash

While I was going on a two-hour flight to see my parents, this guy asked if I could switch seats with him so he could sit near his family. I said sure and switched seats. Later on, it turned out that the overhead bin over what used to be my seat was dripping on him—but it was so much more disgusting than just a simple leak.

It turned out that someone had carried on a box full of raw shrimp and put them in ice, and it had started smelling and dripping onto the seat. I felt bad but relieved at the same time.

jhangel77

45. Thanks For Your Consideration

two women sitting beside table and talkingPhoto by Christina @ wocintechchat.com on Unsplash

I interviewed for a job that I wanted desperately in August 2019. After the initial phone interview, I went in for an in-person interview at 4 PM on a Wednesday. I had a rejection in my inbox by 8 PM and was completely gutted. I don’t know who got the job, but 2020 happened, and they laid off 60% of their staff and will probably go under. I'm thankful for that rejection every day.

starsandmath

46. From Cologne To Stink

grayscale photo of three person sitting inside airplanePhoto by Annie Williams on Unsplash

I was traveling by plane from Cologne, Germany to JFK after spring break. Coincidentally, there also was a large group of kids traveling on the same flight, some of whom were delayed. Now don't get me wrong, I have nothing against them, but this literally was the worst flight I have ever experienced.

The first seat I had was next to a friend of mine who was happy to sit next to someone she knew, considering how large the plane was, but I also knew at the time that she had a "thing" for a friend of mine, so when he offered to switch with me to sit next to her, I obliged. Worst mistake ever.

I had to sit next to two kids for the entire 9-hour flight, and both of them soiled themselves in the beginning and middle of the flight. They never went to the restroom once. The smell that lingered in the air around me was so horrid, my eyes were tearing up the entire flight.

The one to my left, who was about 18 or 19, stared at me the entire flight and kept screaming at me in random gibberish. Again, I have nothing against them, but I still had an awful time and I couldn't even sleep because of the screaming.

aintevenmadbrah

47. Ready To Pop

parked blue and black Compertur busPhoto by Jonathan Borba on Unsplash

Back in the late 90s I was seeing a guy who lived about two hours away. So I would take a Greyhound bus to spend the weekends with him. Well this trip there were tons of people going so they broke it into two busloads.

I was early in line to get on the bus, but decided to wait and let some of the older people behind me in line go first. So I ended up on the second bus. Well about halfway there we see the first bus go off the road to a gas station at some random point and we lost track of it from there.

Once we got to the station, we found out what had really happened to the bus.

There had been a very pregnant girl on the first bus who couldn't fit in the bathroom stall. She begged the driver to stop at a gas station because she HAD to go. He refused. So she returned to her seat and simply couldn't hold it any longer. She soiled herself.

That's when the driver finally decided to pull off to a gas station. There was an RN on the bus who helped her clean up. I felt so bad for her and the other passengers. I couldn't believe that driver wouldn't make an exception for a woman who looked ready to pop at any moment.

SaebraK

48. Smile!

man standing in front of a poolPhoto by Kenny Eliason on Unsplash

My brother covered my shift at the pool we lifeguarded at while I was at freshman orientation for college. He was helping the manager change the large CO2 tanks for the filtration system and when he pulled on the safety cap to tilt the tank the cap popped off and he essentially punched himself in the mouth with a couple pound piece of metal...broke all four front teeth. Top and bottom. He spat shards of teeth out into his hand and the manager had to drive him to the emergency room. I felt so bad.

ifyouknowwhatimeanx

49. Spice Roulette

cooked meat on panPhoto by Taylor Kiser on Unsplash

A co-worker and I ordered a delivery of Indian food after a successful business trip. There was a homeless man that perched outside the hotel we were staying at and we'd seen him frequently on smoke breaks. He would wait until a large crowd was entering and beeline to the lobby bathrooms to freshen up. Seemed like an all-around nice guy, just must've had a tough break.

Anyway, when the food arrived, we both saw the look on his face across the street and promptly opened the bags to give him some naan and "whatever was in that top container". They were all those plastic takeaway Tupperware things so we couldn't tell.

Wrapping this up, when we ordered the food, we were just asking for things that had cool names, and when we got to one item, they asked us how spicy we'd like it. We answered, "As spicy as you can make it." Nothing in our meal was spicy when we ate, and we didn't see him the next day. I can only assume what happened and hope he was okay.

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50. The Never-Ending Journey

plane wing through glass windowPhoto by William Bayreuther on Unsplash

My roommate and I were flying to Germany on buddy passes and his priority level was wayyyy higher than mine, I was booted off the flight if he went so he sacrificed himself and got the next flight that was a city over so I could get on this one. So his plane turned out to be an hour late, then they couldn’t take off because of something wrong with an engine, so they sat on the runway for four hours.

By the time they found a new plane the pilots had been on the clock for too long, so they had to wait two hours for new pilots, then the next plane had computer problems that took two hours to fix. Then he finally landed in Germany, but since it was the next town over he had to take a train to the city we were staying in (Frankfurt) and his train was two hours late from electrical issues.

ish_mel

Isn't it Ironic, don't you think?

A little too Ironic.

Oh, Alanis was really onto something.

Too many of us get unintentionally burned by our own actions.

Our words, our thoughts, our inactions can come round back and give us a big bite on the hiney.

That's why lawyers tell famous people or politicians indicted for crimes not to speak in interviews.

Your words can burn you.

And what about inventors and creators?

Can you imagine being killed by your own project?

That's like being run over by your own car after you put it in PARK, but really it was REVERSE.

Or a house that you built collapsing on you.

It's a lot worse than rain on your wedding day...

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CW: abuse and neglect.

Some people see their family on a regular, sometimes daily basis.

Others see them in person maybe once or twice a year, even if they remain on mostly good terms and stay in contact via phone or video chat.

Then there are those who sadly are no longer in contact with their families, by their own choosing.

Some people slowly realize that being an active part of their family's life simply isn't healthy for them, and gradually phase them out.

While others might cut ties with their family immediately following one inciting incident.

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