Men, we gotta do better. Check out these harrowing tales from women who were guilted into going out with a friend. It turned ugly - fast. We're not entitled to anything, and rejection is a part of life, so guys - do better.
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
Oh wow yikes okay.Giphy
We were friends in high school and most of college. It was one of those things where he was a friend of a friend, but we always went to the same parties, hung together in the same group and so on.
The guys in the group would always say things like, "Ah man you and Kyle would be so great together! You should give him a shot!" I'd kind of laugh it off because for a majority of the time I had a boyfriend.
Eventually me and the boyfriend broke up, and about a week later Kyle asked me out. I wasn't really ready, but I figured it was a first date and everyone had been pressuring me into giving this guy a chance so I went.
The whole evening was awkward. We just ordered a pizza and watched movies, which was what we did in our friend group anyways, but this guy would NOT STOP STARING. I felt like I couldn't even eat because I was under a microscope. The evening ended uneventfully, but then there was the aftermath.
We kept texting and seeing each other in the friend group, and about a week later he asked when we can have another date. I told him that maybe I had rushed into things too fast and I just wasn't feeling any connection with him.
"I BROKE UP WITH MY GIRLFRIEND FOR YOU!"
Yup, dude found out I was single, dumped his girlfriend of 8 months just so he could ask me out to an awkward pizza date in his bedroom...
The timely cherry on top is that they got back together, and apparently I'm tearing their marriage apart because she found a bunch of texts from me from six years ago and he admitted that he kept them cause he still likes me. I haven't seen him in four years.
Edit for timeline: We were friends in high school (10 years ago) and college (5-6 years ago). While we are in college, he asks me out after dumping his girlfriend. Sometime after that they get back together and are married last year. Last week, a friend informs me that they are on the verge of divorce because she found texts he had saved (screenshots) from our college chats 5 or 6 years ago.
Edit: Several people are commenting that I shouldn't have gone out with him and just told him I wanted to stay friends... the thread is literally "girls guilted into going out with 'nice guy'"
This isn't a very sisterly thing to do.
Moved to another state with my sister and she made a few guy friends. One of them saw her with me and begged her to set up a date with me. I reluctantly agreed because she kept saying how sweet and nice he was. First date he kept gushing about how gorgeous I was and the fact that I was smart made it 100x better. He was going to make me his queen and take me around the world but I have to pay for my own meal and his since he paid this time.
I told him I was only interested in being friends and he begged my sister to get me to go out on another date. I declined and we moved back home and he came to visit my sister. While he was here he kept looking at me and telling my sister to just hook him up with me. It was my birthday and I kind of just rolled my eyes and was like come on I'll take you out too with my group of friends.
At the bar, he was really into me and I was getting annoyed because he wouldn't let me relax and have fun. I told him I really only saw him as a friend and in front of everyone he yelled at me saying what a horrible person I am for leading him on, nothing but a whore etc. I ended up crying because it was so embarrassing. My guy friends wanted to go "talk" to him after they heard what happened. My sister ran up to me and told me to go make him happy again he came down to see me and this is how I was treating him. I just went home and the next morning my sister told me how sorry that guy was and he wanted me to come say bye to him at the airport. Needless to say I didn't.
Trust your instincts.Giphy
Throwaway account for this as don't want my story tracing back to me. I met him through online dating and after a couple of weeks of chatting online decided to cool things off as he was giving off a creepy, needy vibe that frightened me. He would ask about ex boyfriends frequently and tell me that he would be good for me, ask sexual questions without any encouragement and want to know intimate details. I forgot all about him until he sent me a random message months later and apologized for his previous behavior which he blamed on a tricky break up.
Time passed and he seemed a new person so I gave in and met with him. Our first couple of dates seemed fine with just a few odd comments that I should have paid attention to. Then he started questioning where I was and who I was with, but again I just foolishly ignored this. The first time (and last time) I stayed at his we went out for a drink beforehand and he was judging me for having a couple of beers. When we got back to his I wasn't feeling up to anything sexual so told him firmly no and went to sleep. Later that night I woke up to him on top of me.
I never confronted him about this. I just pretended i hadn't woke up and made my excuses the next day before blocking him from by life. I've never told anyone this before. I just wish I'd listened to my previous instinct and kept well away.
Wasn't really a date. I was at a hiking trip with my sister and other people from our village when we met a group of guys, drinking and having fun. Was on (German) Father's Day, so it wasn't an unusual sight. For some reason my sister got into a talk with the guys and somehow got me and her invited for the party at one of the guys house later. No big deal, we brought her boyfriend with us and were expecting some good time. My boyfriend was on a biking trip with his dad, so he couldn't come.
We arrive and nobody else is there, guy says they will all arrive later and we are early (30 minutes after the time he told us to be there) and we start drinking, having fun and everything. He clearly has a thing for me, invites me to go on festivals with him, sisters boyfriend tells me I would be stupid if I say no and he would totally be going. The others arrive and at some point the homeowner asks me to go out for a walk, he needs some air.
We walk a bit and suddenly he turns around, telling me I am the love of his life, the girl meant for him, most beautiful, smart etc. he has ever seen. I was shocked and didn't know what to say except "I have a boyfriend, you know..", he said he doesn't care, we're clearly soulmates and then just kisses me out of nowhere. Tells me he would break up with his girlfriend for me (he never mentioned her before) and I should do the same.
Luckily, my sister blacked out on the toilet and someone shouted at him for help unlocking the door, so we went back up. I took care of my sister, his girlfriend arrived, he pulled me aside and told me he would do it now, right here. I said "no" and he told me to take my sister and leave, what I did then. He messaged me on facebook the next day that I was a whore and I lead him on and he almost broke up with his future wife for a b*tch like me.
Tl;dr: Met a guy, got invited to his house, he wanted me to break up with my boyfriend, he wanted to break up with his girlfriend, kissed me, called me soulmate and then a whore when I said no. All within 24 hours.
Edit: Since a lot of you asked "why would you let a stranger kiss you" or if I told my then-boyfriend about it... we did not make out and did not kiss him back. He smooched my lips after he approached me in the middle of a sentence at high-speed and let go of me seconds later before I could even process what had happened.
I CAN take care of myself and would have given him a good kicking, but I honestly was worried about my sister, even though I used the word "luckily". At least I could make you laugh about that.
Well, this is scary.
All my friends said a guy from our group of friends was very nice, even though I felt like he was creepy. Went out once, thought I'd give it a chance, to be nice. Regretted it immediately.
He asked me what I thought of being in a relationship with him, and when I said no/I didn't want that (because I wasn't very interested and we had only been friends before this), he said he was disappointed with my answer and expected something more worthy of him. He said that saying no was disrespectful. Big yikes.
We met once after that because he surprise visited me a few months later. He asked me to ruffle through my hair because he wanted to feel my scalp, treated me like a dog and wanted me to sit next to him so he'd be closer to me. He also thought it was a great idea to mention that he sometimes hears voices in his head and has dreamt of killing people.
I rushed him out of my apartment onto the street. I just wanted him to be gone. I checked my keys five times to see whether he took any. I've had to see him a couple times since then, and he is the most creepy, socially inept person I've ever met. He's so aggressive and impulsive.
edit: this blew up. Yes, he still is in my circle of friends. For some reason my guy friends laughed it off and don't see him as much of a threat to anyone, let alone me. I avoid him as much as I can, and never see him in groups of less than five people.
There's a word for this - misogyny.Giphy
He was genuinely nice and I thought I was being too picky and maybe I could see this through, if I took the effort of getting to know him. But every time I offered a contradictory point of view on any generic topic of discussion, he would proceed to casually mock my appearance, attire and my personality, in retaliation to my disagreement. That was the last date, obviously.
Edit: He might not have been "genuinely nice."
Hence the quotes around "nice."
I was a college freshman. First week of school, I was in my dorm hangout area going through the calendar on my phone to add exams to my schedule. I didn't realize that "Nice Guy" was looking over my shoulder as I was doing so.
He goes, "I see you don't have plans on Saturday, we're going to breakfast." - I continually objected and said I just hadn't gotten around to adding anything to it yet. He wouldn't leave me alone about it all week, so eventually I agreed to go on Saturday. I was purposely on my worst behavior in an attempt to repulse him because clearly, my opinion didn't matter otherwise. He ended the date by calling his mom, telling her that he met his future bride, that we were going to give her grandchildren.
He handed the phone to me, so I straight up told his mother that I had no interest and was only there because he wouldn't leave me be and apparently acting like a barnyard animal wasn't enough of a turnoff. Mom laughed and said "sounds like my boy!"
He would sit on the couch outside my dorm door to bombard me whenever I tried to go anywhere, followed me to and from classes for two months, and tried to befriend my roommate to get closer to me before moving on to a new target. She ended up with a restraining order against him.
Edit for clarification: This was not my first interaction with this guy. He lived in my (small) dorm building where we did multiple getting to know you exercises that week. He helped a ton of people move in and was a self proclaimed "nice guy" like the title had in quotes. Most people's first impression of him was that he was nice enough, but a little off. I clearly completely agree that dude was creepy af, I just posted in a hurry and left out some background. Edit edit: since "nice guy" was in quotes in the OP, I thought it was clear that we weren't dealing wit actual nice guys, hence why I thought my story was relevant. If it were asking a story about going on a date with an actual nice person, I don't think it would be an interesting AskReddit question?
I'll take male entitlement for $100, Alex.
The date wasn't too bad, although he kept changing pretty much every single sentence he said so it would fit my interest. Something like "I like ice cream" "Cool, I like frozen yoghurt" "oh yeah, that's what I meant. Ice cream is nice but frozen yoghurt is amazing" and so on for 4 hours straight. At the end I had no idea what he was actually like.
He also kissed me in the most awkward way possible. I guess he thought it was going to be romantic and spontaneous but it wasn't. Then kissed me again when he walked me to the train station. He hugged me so hard I couldn't breath and started making weird noises (kind of like what some people do during heavy, pre sex make out sessions, except it was a rather quick kiss in a public place). Started texting me before I even got home and when I didn't answer, got upset. Told him he was nice but I don't think we'd work out. Said its cool, asked if we can stay friends. Silly me, I said yes.
We kept talking for about a month, during which he very "friendly" kept checking if I had slept with someone else and making sure I know how much of a sex god he is ("you know, I once even made my lesbian friend cum super hard"). This is also the time I met my current BF and was meeting a bunch of new people at uni, so we'd talk less and less each week. Then one day he asked me out. I said I wasn't sure if he was completely fine with us being just friends so that wouldn't be appropriate. He went on this massive rant about how he'd actually been seeing someone else in that time, but they broke up shortly before that, how he's so over me and didn't even think I'm that hot anymore and how nothing would happen. I said no, because I was broke and couldn't fully enjoy myself while worrying about not spending too much (we were supposed to go to a Metallica concert, apparently his best friend had spent £120 on his ticket but then last minute found something better to do...) but he promised he'd take care of everything and we could chill at his place with pizza and some films, as friends.
I said I could consider the concert but there's no way I'd stay over. I mentioned texting someone else to see if they would be fine with me sleeping over at theirs afterwards. He jokingly asked if it's someone I'm sleeping with and I said it's none of his business. Then he told me how much of a bitch I was for sleeping with other people and not sleeping with him, said it's so unfair that he knew me so much better but he felt like other people had more rights to me than him and that we kissed and he didn't expect me to be this slutty (btw, I did not want to kiss him, it was just so random I felt him making out with me before I even realized what his intentions were and stopped it rather quickly). The he called me a few more names, said he's such a nice guy and didn't deserve to be treated like that and we never spoke again. Fun times
Nice? No. Weird? Very.Giphy
I dated the 'nice guy' everyone was convinced is a catch, for a few weeks. I can't fit an adequate description of the experience in one post. If I had to pick a few salient moments, they might be:
• He compared me to his ex-girlfriend frequently. "She smelled amazing. Like lavender. You don't smell like lavender." "She got into Oxford. You could never get into Oxford."
• He was a PhD student, and I was an undergrad at the time. "Undergrads are so mentally disabled. ...Not you though, you're special."
• When he wanted to have sex, then insisted I have the morning after pill the next day. I agreed on the condition he paid for it, because I was broke. We walked to the pharmacy, and he slows down and lingers outside. He sort of...circles the block. I am confused. Then I realize he doesn't want to enter the pharmacy with a girl, requesting the morning after pill. I state he can just give me cash, and I'll do it. He decides to enter the pharmacy. The pharmacist asks if we need help, and he quickly replies, "We're just browsing." It takes him a good fifteen minutes to get around to it. The pharmacist is very professional the entire time. When we reach the counter, he looks at me expectantly. I realize he now wants me to pay. I physically don't have the cash, so I just shrug and leave. He finally pulls out a bunch of credit cards.
• He sold me a broken second-hand laptop. Months after we broke up, I realized he hadn't logged out of Facebook. Being a terrible person, I read the messages he exchanged with his best friend. Many of the girls in his laboratory oscillated between "sluts" or "frigid c*nts", his supervisor was a "downy." and he'd written many remarks about his other colleagues and housemates. I also found out he'd been visiting my profile regularly, and commenting on all my activities and new boyfriend (we've been together six years now!). I promptly deleted him and made my account private.
I don't understand my gender.
After a few years of tepid friendship (something was always a bit 'off' about him, but I thought he was such a nice guy and I was just being a judgy bitch, plus he always claimed to be so in love with me), I agreed to a few dates with my friend. On one date, we went out with a whole group of couples to this state park a few hours away, and during the ride home, I dozed off. I woke up to him groping me under my clothes, and when I told him off, he twisted it around like I was being ridiculous and imagined his hand under my bra. Like, we're on a date, why was I being so weird, etc etc etc.
When I told him I had to cancel out 4th date because I'd gotten grounded after accidentally setting the kitchen on fire, he punched me. Mostly in the face. Punched me.
He spent the rest of high school periodically stalking me/my sisters, ranting and raving to literally everyone about how I just didn't understand and he loooooooves me, he's just so emotional with his true love for me that sometimes he acts without thinking, he's not like those other guys that would make sexual comments about my appearance, why did I have to be such a Stacey, he's the best friend I ever had until I ruined it all by willfully "misunderstanding" and refusing to hear him out or give him closure, on and on.
What a nice guy. Guess he tried to break into my bedroom window out of love and concern, huh?
The key to any successful relationship is communication.
The ability to be open and receptive to what a significant other has to say, as well as the ability to be able to convey something weighing on one's mind, can be healing.
But depending on the circumstance, some things are better left unsaid.
Curious to hear examples of what those might be, Redditor FamiliarFarmer8356 asked:
"What's something you wish you could tell your partner without upsetting them?"
If there is conflict, there is a way to discuss and address the issue in a civil and respectful manner.
Things Just Happen
"Every bad thing that happens doesn't require someone to be blamed for it. And that someone doesn't always have to be me."
A Cornerstone Of A Successful Union
"One of the cornerstones of a good marriage, is knowing how to argue. I’d actually say that before a couple get married, they should check how their potential partner behaves in an argument. What are they like when they get angry. It’s important because no two individuals are going to agree all the time. And on those occasions, it’s important to remember not to belittle the other. Deal with the issue at hand. And especially, don’t argue in front of the kids. You have no idea how much lasting damage this causes."
"All married couples should learn the art of battle as they should learn the art of making love. Good battle is objective and honest - never vicious or cruel. Good battle is healthy and constructive, and brings to a marriage the principles of equal partnership."
It's Not That Deep
"please stop complaining about everything."
"If you keep seeking out reasons to be miserable, you will find them."
"I'm tired of being dragged down with you."
There's no need to get defensive when there's something to discuss.
It's Not About You
"That some days I’m just tired from class and work and just want some me time, it’s not that I hate you my social battery is just running out."
"Her first reaction to something adverse doesn't have to be anger."
In The Words Of A Pirate
"In the wise words of captain Jack Sparrow sometimes:"
'the problem is not the problem, the problem is your attitude toward the problem.'
It Takes Two To Tango
"That I wish she’d be more independent so she didn’t need my help for everything outside the house."
"That it’s a little disturbing how aggressively he drives when he’s grumpy… heavy on both gas and brakes, zooming in and out of traffic, swearing at people who make mistakes… very unlike him."
Sometimes the truth hurts when talking about members of the family.
A Real Assessment
"That her mother is not a good person."
"I told my husband that it's not that his family is nosy and overbearing, it's that I hate watching him cave and negotiate as if they have a right to behave like this, and I really hate when I'm the bad guy for wanting reasonable limits."
"It got worse, then it got better, FYI."
"His parents are greedy, selfish people and treat him like an atm."
There's definitely a fine line between withholding your thoughts to protect the person you love and being brutally honest.
If coming clean isn't going to resolve an issue, then it might be better to suck it up and deal with whatever frustrations you have about the other person.
It's up to you, but make sure the delivery doesn't come from a place of rage if you do decided to be totally transparent about your negative thoughts.
Every family has a black sheep or every family in its entirety are black sheep.
What is a "black sheep" anyway?
It used to mean a person who brought shame or embarrassment to a family, but it's more often used now to mean the member who is just very different from everyone else—sometimes in a good way.
Redditor Frozen_yoghurt123 asked:
"Who is the 'black sheep' of your family?"
I'm the black sheep or at least I'd like to think so.
"Probably my dad's cousin, who went to prison for murdering his lover's husband."
DW_555Oh My Wow GIFGiphy
"My Dad. He is the only one of 6 siblings who wasn't a huge f**k up. And yet, before my Grandma died she stated that he was her 'biggest disappointment.' He is estranged from his surviving siblings... not by his choice. It honestly blows my mind."
"Toxicity is often a group mindset thing; people don't want you to leave because they are dysfunctionally co-dependent on each other and need each other to justify their own shortcomings in life. A lot of the 'family loyalty' stuff is typically shouted loudest by those who are the least good idea to stay loyal towards."
"My great uncle who stole my great grandfathers identity, stole a couple million dollars, and ran off. No one even knew he was alive until my great grandfathers funeral in 2009. No one has seen him since. My grandma started to cry because she honestly thought he was dead."
"Everyone else just kind of nodded on his direction and went on with the rest of the funeral. I just remember being very confused because I was 9 and I had never met this guy who my dad pulled me aside and told me he was my great uncle. It was a few years later that I got the full story."
"According to my mean aunt, the 'matriarch' in her own mind, it's my twin brother because "he doesn't care about family now that he's a doctor." (He's a resident. Chief resident. He works ridiculous hours and spends the rest of the time recovering from work.)"
"According to my ex-MIL (who still counts because she's Son's grandma), it's me, for divorcing her son."
"According to everyone else, it's Mean Aunt. The rest of us are warm and caring and compassionate. We have our moments; all of us have been accidentally thoughtless or done something selfish once in a while, but we're not deliberately mean and snarky all the time."
"My immediate family are the black sheep of the entire family."
DarthDreganJohn Stamos Cheers GIF by GrandfatheredGiphy
Sounds like everyone has a little black sheep in them.
"By now, my brother for cutting off everyone because he prefers his rude, selfish, paranoid, narcissist wife over all of us."
"My wife is the black sheep of her family in the sense that she's the only one who isn't a rude, selfish, paranoid narcissist."
Lvcivs2311Joe Dirt Brother GIFGiphy
"Me. My granddaddy told me 'I’ve only had the sheriff knock on my door two times in my 80 years, and both times he was looking for you! 'I did some dumb sh*t, caused a little trouble, burned a few bridges but always managed to stay out of jail. Partly because my sister has kept an attorney on retainer for me since I was 16."
"My younger brother (2nd of 4) is a compulsive liar and it got him in a lot of little trouble as a teen, then he told his wife he graduated a big college when we're not even sure if he got his GED because he failed to graduate HS, went to some GED school and eventually just stopped going."
"IF he graduated college, he never mentioned he was going in the 4+ years it takes nor mention graduation or have a diploma. He's not a bad dude, but now family time is super awkward when he and his wife are talking about 'their' college team."
The NOT good girl...
"My aunt's daughter. She’s been in jail for drugs, stolen money from my aunt and other family members to use on drugs and physically abused my aunt. My aunt has tried getting her help, but nothing has worked. She’s just not a good person, and everyone in my family, except my aunt, doesn’t want anything to do with her. I haven’t seen her in 8 years now, and I’m happy about that."
"A former nun - my great aunt - left the religious life and got married. She called herself 'the black sheep of the family' because her habit was black."
Back2BachExcited Julie Andrews GIF by The Rodgers & Hammerstein OrganizationGiphy
Well the black sheep sound like the most interesting family members.
Sex is great, but there are more ways than one to accomplish that euphoric feeling without sex.
There are so many small, ordinary aspects of life that can just send a person and we come across them daily.
A good steak.
A home repair.
The things that make you say...
"I tingle all over."
Redditor OldAboba asked:
"What is the best non-sexual physical feeling you’ve ever felt?"
Adele. Adele live. She sends me.
FloatingRelaxed Exit Strategy GIF by Hannah Bronfman Giphy
"I got a professional full body (everything but my man parts) massage a few years back for the first and so far only time at a spa after the recommendation from a coworker. I felt like I was floating on a cloud for the next few days."
Through your nose...
"Sneezing when you're sick. Then you get that about 20 second feeling of breathing through your nose again and you like ahh that's what I aspire to at the moment."
"Or the very last sneeze of your illness. During a fire drill in high school, I was ambling out after fighting a head old for a few days. The alarm was killing my head which was already throbbing from the sinus pressure."
"I was nearing the field, well away from my classmates, when I cough/sneezed out a huge, green loogie - cleared it about three feet, no icky trail - and by the time I was walking back to the building I was feeling pretty much back to normal. No more head cold after that. Never had something like that ever happen again where there was such an abrupt end to the head cold."
"Right after a migraine goes away. It's almost a spiritual experience."
"This was going to be my answer. I was in the ER one time for a really bad migraine. They gave me what they called a 'migraine cocktail.' When they pushed it through the IV I could feel the cold liquid make its way through my body, up to my head. Once it hit my brain, the migraine was gone. It was pure ecstasy. Even better was that cocktail had Benadryl in it so I fell asleep not long after and slept so good."
"That stretch til you shake when you wake up."
"I once stretched too hard in the morning and got the worst calf cramp ever... it looked like a prune and I thought I would die from the pain. Couldn't stretch in bed for months afterwards out of fear it would happen again."
"When you move over 50, it turns into that stretch til you put your back into a muscle spasm that lasts days."
The ItchScratching Feel Good GIF by 60 Second DocsGiphy
"I had a cast and splint on both my legs for 2 months. When they cut it off, they scratched my legs for me and the itch was just top notch! Yeah."
Itching an itch can change a life.
YUM!Emma Stone High Quality GIFGiphy
"When you're starving all day and devour a bomb a** meal."
Sleep for Life
"When you’ve been up for 20 hours+ and finally get into bed and you just know it’ll be the best sleep of your life."
"But man, after 36+ hours, the body sort of aches and it's hard to fall asleep despite being completely exhausted. Then the restless legs kick in... ugh. I do agree that a 20hr-ish stint is amazing to cuddle into, especially if you don't have to get up at any specific time the next day."
"Makes it better when you’ve been sleep deprived for weeks and know you have NO PLANS tomorrow and can sleep as much as you need."
"When you're absolutely busting for a pee and you can finally go!"
"Apparently there’s a thing called a 'pee-gasm' that people (usually women) have that causes an orgasmic feeling when you pee after holding it for a while! I’ve definitely experienced this and I’ve intentionally waited a while so I could have that good feeling... lol."
I Can Hear!!
"The feeling of water leaving your ear after being there all day."
"I had some impacted earwax for a week in one ear, and when it finally got removed it was the best feeling in the world. Initially it was like having a tv or radio in my ear that only had static, but then I could hear. Good god, I could hear. It was amazing."
"Oh man, and it’s WARM from being in your head, and the warmth makes the sensation of leaving even better."
A Good Restdog puppy GIFGiphy
"Sleeping in a warm blanket in winters."
"Or sleeping in a cold blanket in summer."
I am enthralled by all of those things.
People need to stop throwing out unwanted advice.
And when it is requested, think before you speak.
People with mental disorders don't need everyone telling them they have a fix like "exercise" or "herbal supplements."
Redditor Gold-Ad-2827 asked:
"People with mental disorders: What do you hate being told the most?"
I hated being told to just smile. You smile and go away.
Duhseth meyers GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy
"It's all in your head. Where else would it?! My colon?"
"Everybody goes through that."
"This saying makes my blood boil. Or the 'I was that age once too ya know' yeah no sh*t you were that age once. And just because you were that age once doesn’t mean we have the same experience."
"They try to minimize it."
"You're worried? Just stop."
"You're sad? Just don't be."
"You're compulsively binge eating? Eat less."
"Thanks for that stellar advice."
"Or even better, 'Just do it!' As if ADHD paralysis can be stopped with a can-do attitude."
"I get so frustrated when people treat the idea of 'holistic medicine' as some kind of woo. How does it escape so many people that the body works holistically? Even a lot of doctors seem to ignore this. It's very frustrating when you have 2 or 3 or 4 illnesses that are all affecting each other, and your 'physical health' is held distinct from your mental health, and nothing anyone is doing to treat you works because no one's looking at the whole system."
"I just got a lecture from a psychiatrist I am seeing about nutrition, and he apologized to me for doing so but I told him, 'No, I appreciate it. Do it for all your patients.' because it told me he's trying to look at the whole picture and actually fix what's wrong. It gave me faith in him."
RelaxCalm Down Golden Girls GIF by TV LandGiphy
"You need to calm down."
"Never is the history of calm down has calm down ever caused anyone to calm down."
Calm down. I hate that one. You calm down.
TipsSeason 23 Reaction GIF by Law & OrderGiphy
"When they try to give me tips on what to do, like bruh as if I didn't already try that."
"You don't look sad. No crap... that's so I can avoid having this conversation. Also depression isn't 'being sad' like people think."
"God, I hate this. It's because saying 'I'm depressed' has been standard for people expressing that they're slightly unhappy about something dumb like not getting enough croutons on their salad or some crap. Now that's just what everyone assumes you mean when you say you have depression."
"'Stop being lazy.'"
“'Lazy' is when you don’t want to do anything at all. 'Executive disfunction' is when you can do everything at all, but that one easy quick thing that you do want to do just makes you and your brain freeze completely days ahead. I’m tired of people not understand that even when I explain and look at me like I’m bullshitting instead."
Ways to Cope
"Maybe you should try praying harder. I did, He prescribed medication."
"Praying is a way to cope for a lot of people, I think. That's totally fine, but insisting on praying in lieu of getting real help or actually addressing the issue is when it is not only unhelpful, but dangerously detrimental."
"Religious people will bypass everyone’s cultures, identity, views, and feelings just to be right and make a point. it’s disgusting. I read somewhere that real so called Christianity is all wrong. The real faith is from the Aramaic history and all the meanings were misinterpreted and the stories and all were made up by Catholics wanting to control their people. Yuck."
'contamination'Disgusted Season 6 GIF by Brooklyn Nine-NineGiphy
"As someone with OCD with a lot of attention to 'contamination', having someone try to explain contradictions in why I'm doing something that is technically unclean when I wouldn't do something that is technically clean due to OCD. There are a few doorknobs that I will not touch no matter how much you clean them in front of me and I know it makes no sense, if it made sense I wouldn't have OCD i'd just be cleanly."
Stop trying to be an armchair therapist. Be empathetic to people first.