Spoiler Alert: Bathrooms. Women (and guests in general) really appreciate it when your bathroom is clean, stocked with toilet paper, and has things like a trash can, soap and a hand towel. There. I just earned you 100 points with your friends, family, and that cutie you've been eyeballing lately. You're welcome.
Reddit user bepseh asked:
Girls of Reddit what are some things you look for when visiting a guys place for the first time?
There were tons of responses, you guys; and no, they didn't all involve the bathroom. The number that did involve the bathroom has be asking a lot of questions about the hygiene practices of the dating male, but that's for another time. Here are some of the more popular answers, edited for language if needed.
Bathroom
My SO said that she looked at the state of my bathroom. According to her everyone has some days when they are lazy to do the dishes or laundry so that is acceptable to a degree. But your bathroom is nasty it means that you never or very rarely clean it which is just nasty.
The Smell
I've found that the smell of the place is something literally everyone appreciates greatly when it's right but never ever speak about it, in general, making it possibly the most underrated things people notice about other people's homes.
The Dish Rack
If it's somebody I'm dating or would like to date, I'm hoping for a reasonable standard of cleanliness and some evidence of somebody living a mature kind of life that involves care for his surroundings. Not some kind of dank cave.
It also makes me happy if his kitchen looks both hygienic and like it's actually cooked in. It becomes a lot harder to picture myself spending enjoyable time with the guy in his place if the dish rack is covered in mold. (How much am I going to enjoy having dinner with him there? How the hell has he not noticed the mold or decided it's not a problem?)
- 123wtfno
Bag It
A lined trash can in the bathroom.
The worst nightmare for a girl coming to your place is that she has to change her pad or tampon, but can't find a trashcan, so she has to ask you where one is or try to covertly throw it away in a non-bathroom trash. This is really embarrassing and unsexy. A lined trash can will make her feel welcome and comfortable and avoid awkward, embarrassing conversations about periods.
Conversation Starters
Decoration. What you surround with tells a lot about your interests, your originality, your taste etc. Plus, it's an easy conversation starter.
Bookshelves
Bookshelves, they are like a window to the soul.
I look to see if there is a range of interesting stuff there. Also to check for red flags, like if he has pick up artist books or an unhealthy interest in Hitler.
A Single Piece
Giphy
More than a single piece of furniture and a TV. Have some extra chairs, some rugs, plants/flowers, decorations on the wall or movie posters or something. Basically just a little more effort than a complete bachelor pad is appreciated.
- 3vad127
Hand Towels
Hand towels in the bathroom. I don't want to dry my freshly cleaned hands with the towel you use on your downstairs.
Neanderthal
Does he take his goddamn clothes with him when he leaves the bathroom after showering or does he leave them on the bathroom floor like a Neanderthal. God damnit drew your laundry hamper is 6 feet away from the bathroom door
Clean And Sanitary
I look at the kitchen - is it clean? And I don't mean tidy and everything packed away, I mean clean and sanitary. Is it a place where food can be made?
Also, are there stains in the toilet?
Is there soap in the bathroom?
I know it's silly, but cleanliness is important to me.
- irmari01
A Particular Aroma
Giphy
This isn't something I necessarily look for, but GOD it would be so refreshing to enter a guys' place minus the aroma of dirt and testicles.
Murder
Is he going to rape and/or murder me? If the answer to that seems to be no, we're probably good. I'm less concerned with dirty dishes in the sink or whether your toilet paper is hung correctly.
The Bed
Their bed.
Not sex related.
Do they have sheets? Are they clean? Or is it just a mishmash of old blankets.
And I check out their pillows. Are they old and half yellow? Should they have been replaced ages ago?
The mattress. How bad is it? Like is it badly sagging in the middle with a spring and he hasn't even tried to minimize with a mattress topper?
If he can't even be bothered to have the one thing that should be the most important thing of all because of how important sleep is, it sends me huge red flags.
Seriously guys. 100 bucks is more enough to make your bed look appealing and if your mattress sucks and you can't afford a new one, at least try to make it comfortable.
Although at my age, 45, if you can't afford a new mattress, that is a red flag all by itself.
A Bit Of Culture
It's definitely a bonus when I see things like art, souvenirs, books, plants, gifts etc, things that show a bit of culture, someone who has hobbies and appreciates beautiful and little things and isn't afraid to spend a little bit of extra money to liven up his space. I find that those men are much more thoughtful and refreshing to be around than the overly practical guy.
Just Rinses
Usually their dog or cat. But also if they have toilet paper. Went to a dude's house on my period and the fucker tells me he doesn't buy toilet paper. Just rinses off every time. So I sent someone to the corner store whilst I bled on the toilet. Cleaned myself up, took my toilet paper, and told him to lose my number.
A New Mommy
I look at cleanliness. A little clutter is fine, but if there's a sense of long-term neglect, like if there's a lingering smell or grime in easy to clean spaces, then that's a problem. I also look at the kitchen--does he have his own implements, and does it look like he uses them? Or does it look like he only orders takeout and lives off of beer?
Basically, I'm looking for signs that he can take care of himself and his own space. The biggest possible turn off for me is a boy I have to mother, and there are a lot of boys out there who are looking for a new mommy to come in to cook, clean, and have sex with them whether they're aware of it or not.
Another Woman
Everyone here talks about lined, covered trashcans and cleanliness... no one talking about signs that another woman lives there. Pictures, too much decoration, certain items more marketed towards women, and the big one everyone complained about here, feminine hygiene stuff. If I see those I'm sorry but I'm going to assume you're in a relationship and are trying to hide it, not that you're so generous to your female friends or they're leftovers from a past relationship. If you're that generous, give them to your female friends or a woman's shelter.
Before anyone pounces on me, I've had this happen to me more than once. I'm hyper aware now of any signs of a man already being attached, I'll run even if it turns out to be a false alarm. But I'd rather run than be a side piece again.
Garlic Is Bae
Giphy
Smell! A guy's place can be a bit messy or unorganized, we're all human, but I can't deal with odors like stinky trash bins, dishes rotting in the sink, mildewed laundry, pissy-smelling toilet where the inevitable wee wee spittle happens, and pet smells. I can forgive cooking odors because I also like some pretty stinky food. Garlic is bae.
The biggest one is cigarette smoke. If you smoke inside your place you are gross and I don't want you.
What do you look for?
I once had a guy ask me if I was willing to follow him into the woods, depending on the price of the meal.
Yeah. No steak is worth that.
Plans After...
Wait What Wtf GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy"Thanks for the ride but I have a date with someone else, I figured you wouldn't drive me if you knew I was going on a date with someone else and I really needed a ride."
"Online dating, talked to her for a while, finally got the courage to ask her out and then she said that as we got there."
iareyours
Mirror Image
“'You look just like my wife!'”
catalinachild
"I did have a guy tell me I reminded him of his son. I don’t believe English has a word to adequately describe my feelings at that time."
UnicornMagicRainbow
"That would definitely do it."
chaotica78
Third Wheel
"'Hope you don't mind if my mother joins us.'"
ofsquire
"Actually had a girl do this on a first date because she had anxiety issues. Honestly wasn’t bad except that 90% of the time she was silent and her mom talked over her."
"I didn’t mind that much and wouldn’t have minded trying again when she was more comfortable except that she was let go at the company we worked at and she deleted her social media profiles and she never responded on her number. Ah well."
Seightx
Liar
Lying Simon Rex GIF by Simon Rex / Dirt NastyGiphy"'Hey bro aren't you gay? I made out with you last night.'"
"Random dude I've never seen before in front of my (f) date."
JHXC16
Was he lying though?
Filter Issues
"'You looked better on Tinder.'"
waqasnaseem07
"Isn’t it basic knowledge that everybody looks slightly worse than the worst picture you can find?"
no_user_ID_found
The Past
"'My ex used to do that too.'"
xxIvyOF
"Yep. I’ve definitely had two otherwise-decent-guy date-situations sour because the ex-comparisons just would not stop flowing. No woman wants to be seen as interchangeable—I’m not here to perfectly fill that ex-sized hole in your life. Focusing on the present moment and a future we could build together is a courtesy we need to grant each other in earliest dates of dating."
LarkScarlett
Powerless
"'I'm an alpha, you cant handle my top energy.'"
Midnightgay28
"I actually left a dude in the middle of dinner, in part, for saying this. I ordered an Uber under the table while pretending to listen to him. Went to the bathroom, and never came back. That was when I was young. Now I’d just say, 'How about we enjoy this meal in silence, before we head our separate ways.'”
UnicornMagicRainbow
Mommy...
"'Mother says I should be back by 9.'"
"Saying 'mother says' just feels weird."
bunnyrut
"That gives me Norman Bates vibes."
Werewolf_lover20
"'Mother says alligators are aggressive because they have an overabundance of teeth, but lack a toothbrush.'"
sodaextraiceplease
Obvs...
just kidding jk GIFGiphy"'If you were going to be murdered, what method would you prefer. Purely hypothetical. Obvs.'"
Specific_Tap7296
If it looks anything like a Dateline NBC episode... RUN!
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Or so you would think.
Do people still knit to pass the time? Are people actively collecting stamps?
It depends on who's asking.
Curious to hear about hobby trends, Redditor gizehgizeh asked:
"What are once popular hobbies that are slowly dying these days?"
Before we've become conditioned to living on our phones, these activities used to keep people occupied.
Before Texting, There Was This
"Letter writing."
– littlekingMT
Literal And Tangible Joy
"Well the internet killed pen pals for sure. I do remember I had a Japanese girl for a penpal maybe back in 2007 or so. I honestly don't remember how it started, pretty sure some website, but that was a fun experience. But now I can just straight up talk to foreign people real time, lol. But yea getting a physical letter that someone took the time to write and mail still is hard to beat feelings wise."
– skyburnsred
Model Trains
"When I was growing up, every town had a model train store in it. Now I have one in region and everything else has to be bought online."
– Hairy_Effective1172
Pretty Rocks
"Don’t see anyone playing marbles anymore, I had an awesome collection in school."
– sheeple85
"I had some marbles as a kid in the 90s. My grandma got them for me and I had no idea what I was supposed to do with them. I always imagined them as a thing kids in the 40s played with."
– Ryoukugan
People Were Moving Canvases
"Paintball has been dying a slow death since 2006. Sad, really."
– hobo_recycler
Before the general population began hating clutter, collecting was once a "thing."
Precious Coins
"Coin collecting... I'm a silver/gold nut and I'm always hunting for precious metal coins. whenever I go into a shop they get all excited because 'no one under 70 collects coins anymore.'"
– ThatFishySmell99
Post It
"Stamp collecting."
– spooky_scully_mulder
"Collecting in general, really. Of course there are still prominent collectors but it's slipped more into enthusiast and niche territory than being a popular hobby that you might expect anyone to have."
– iuytrefdgh436yujhe2
What A Gem
"Rockhounding was immensely popular back in the 1950's and 1960's. Personally, I think it's a fascinating and fulfilling hobby, but when I go to a meeting at a rock and gem club, I'm usually the youngest one in the room by several decades."
– filthy_lucre
People once enjoyed making things.
Admiring The View
"Stained glass. I learned how to make it from my old man, and my junior high art class teacher also taught it. Very few artisans are still around."
– brobeanzhitler
Metal Vocation
"Black smithing."
– kenworth117
"I bought a forge to try. It’s insanely hard work, and crazy expensive. I still haven’t finished a piece."
– DSentvalue
Scrapbooking
"Yeah. I'm watching the arts and crafts stores around me completely uninstalling their racks for specialty paper. Now the only thing they have is mega packs of repeating colors/images. To boot all the inclusions like papercraft/die-cut things, washi tape, scissors, stickers, etc have gotten so expensive I would rather go buy $5 bags at value village to get an assortment of things versus buying anything new. I really, really miss yard sales for the same reasons."
– Phantasmai
I envy people who have jobs that are basically their hobbies.
Not everyone gets paid doing what they actually enjoy and have a profound level of passion for.
If they do, kudos to them.
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While the process could take time, some people make our jobs much easier after spotting instant red flags.
Curious to hear about our general radar of people, Redditor xxFluffie asked:
"What is something that makes you immediately dislike someone?"
Some people just think they are absolutely hilarious and never realize they're the only ones laughing.
Next In Line
"They laugh about having screwed someone else over. If you think you're not next, well, you'll learn."
– whiznat
Unfunny
"when you mention you don't like a thing and they immediately do that thing 'as a joke.'"
– wayfinder
Playing Devil's Advocate
"Kneejerk contrarians. People who, no matter what you say you like or believe, just have to dismiss it and say they like or think the opposite."
– BubbhaJebus
People who put others down get slammed here.
Bad Parents
"When they treat their kids sh**ty in public. I don't mean handling tantrums, setting a rule, having to hurry to the train etc. I mean perfectly normal-behaved kids getting in trouble for trailing along peacefully, looking at things, asking questions etc."
"If you don't like tiny humans who learn the world, why have them??"
– raxeira-etterath
Public Humiliation
"Treating people sh**ty in public for laughs. Like being rude to service workers because they think it’s funny. Big red flag."
– Ok_Personality_1080
Simply Uncalled For
"Someone who is a d*ck to other people or animals for no reason."
– xebt1000
Those with ulterior motives rubs people the wrong way.
The Scheme
"If they try to get me to join their MLM scheme."
– spazmcgee1
Hard Sell
"A guy I used to be friends with in high school reached out a couple of years after graduating about a business opportunity he wanted my opinion on because 'you've always been smart', then he set up a Skype call and brought some other dude into the call and they started trying to sell me on what was clearly an MLM scheme. The guy went from friend to 'I'm never talking to you again' in a matter of 10 minutes."
– Mental-Afternoon-164
A Timeline
"Good gawd, this! I've had more than one exposure to this abject bullsh**tery..."
- Back in the late 80's/early 90's I was invited to a meeting of literally the OG "Pyramid" where you're recruited to pay in, and then you go out and recruit others to pay in, and the last in line got f'kall.
- In 1995 I had a coworker try to reel me into Amway, which was a hard no.
- In 2000 it was Pampered Chef, though to be fair they did have useful products.
- In 2009 a coworker tried to get me into some stupid video calling service that was obviously stupid from the description. He even got offended when I called bullsh*t.
– Mystical_Cat
Too much ego is a no-go.
I Can Do Better
"Being a b*tch just to stroke their own ego."
"We get it, you can lift 5lbs more than the 12 year old, you don't have to rub it in their face just because you're slightly better"
– Livia_Pivia
Can't Top This
"Oh, you did <story that's been told>? That's nothing! I did <implausible story>.
"I get the whole empathy through relating common experience, and I'm someone who does that (which drives some people crazy on its own), but there's a big different by empathising through common experience, and one-upmanship."
– Tisarwat
Lacking Conversational Etiquette
"Starting to talk over me when I was already talking."
"Stop it you rude, arrogant jerk."
– R33Gtst
If one or more of these traits sound familiar to you, you're not alone.
We don't have time for braggadocios, pyramid-schemers, and conversation interrupters.
And that's just for starters.
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Pleading to deaf ears...
"My dad told me he had hearing loss and couldn't hear me if I whined because my pitch would get too high."
"Would completely ignore me until I asked him questions in a normal voice."
"Trusted him implicitly until I was 12 and he yelled at my younger brother for whining."- Tyrion_Stark.
Get it while you can.
"That they took everything off the shelves when the supermarket closed."- fgyfddg.
venezuela empty shelves GIF by euronewsGiphySilly superstitions.
"My grandfather used to tell me that if I played with the fire, I'd pee the bed."
"I believed him for a while, until I got older."
"I think he was just trying to protect me from the fire."- teddypa1981.
"Rain, rain go away..."
"That if it was raining where I was, it was raining everywhere in the world."- morningshartz.
Age is just a number.
"My parents used to seem really old to me, so much so I believed they grew up like cave people as children, wearing giant leaves for clothes and what not."- Laleena_.
Hammer Floor GIF by VPROGiphySo that's how they're made!
"That smokestacks from the power plant created clouds."- Scaniarix.
An instant cure.
"The sun gives you sunburns, therefore, moonlight should heal them."- velocipeter.
Better safe than sorry.
"Don't drink and drive meant all drinks."
"My dad was super confused when I told him he wasn't allowed to have any soda until we got home."- hulagirlslovetoparty.
Don't believe everything you see on TV.
"There was an episode of Mickey Mouse where Mickey couldn’t reach something at first, so he tried again and somehow his arm was long enough to reach it."
"As a small kid I believed that if I couldn’t reach something, I should just try reaching for it again and my arm would then somehow be long enough to reach it."- That-Dutch-Person.
love him one piece GIFGiphyThe miracle of childbirth.
"That babies are pooped out."
"When I was like 7 I was listening to my aunt as she explained that childbirth was pretty intense and painful for her, and I was all solemnly like, 'yeah, sometimes just my poops are painful, I don’t think I could get a baby out' and she went 'um, WHAT?' and her reaction made me realize real quick that I had f*cked up somewhere and I tried to change the subject while my mind was just reeling lol."- thesoundingfurrows.
Oh to be a child again.
And to believe literally everything you're told.
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