People Describe Their 'I've Got To Get Out Of Here Right Now' Experiences
Listening to your gut can save your life. There is a reason why we have inner voices warning us about something that just does not feel right.
Sometimes, that uncomfortable feeling in the pit of your stomach alerting you of a suspicious situation can occur when you are alone or in some vulnerable state.
Whatever the case may be, it may be in your interest not to ignore your naturally built-in life alert.
Strangers on the internet shared their most vulnerable moments and fled the scene when Redditor firefly_girl_75 asked:
"What is your 'Oh sh*t, I've got to get the hell outta here right now!' story?"
Trapped
Nothing will make you hit a "panic" button more than when you feel trapped in a situation. Hopefully, you have the wherewithal to haul a**.
The Escape Route
"Living in Baltimore some years back and I was driving home through a rough area of the city. Sitting at a stop light behind an already stopped car, another pulls up next to me on the right. Not really thinking anything of this, the light turns green. Neither of these cars move and I see a car zipping up behind me. I look to my left and I see two guys running towards me. I am so thankful that I left a good deal of space between me and the car in front. I hooked it around the car I front and sped off. Pretty sure I was going to be a victim of a car jacking or maybe something worse. Glad they ill timed their plan and I gave myself that space. Lesson here is always keep your head on a swivel in Baltimore."
Justifiable Reaction
"I was on a restaurant and they were using a propane tank to power an outdoors heater. Suddenly the tank started to catch fire and I got out quickly because i thought it was going to explode."
"The staff turned the tank off and everyone laughed at me for overreacting but damn i got scared lol."
Never Forget
"I was in downtown NYC a couple of blocks away from the WTC gawking at a fire. There were tons of people milling around watching. They had blocked off some streets, and I asked a cop how I could get around to where I needed to go further downtown. He told me which streets were closed, but that they might expand it, so I should get moving. The conversation was pretty casual."
"As I started walking away I looked back, and he had his radio to his ear, and whatever he heard, he panicked, went as white as a ghost, and started yelling for people to move further back. I turned around and jogged the hell out of there and made it to the Brooklyn Bridge before the first tower came down."
– clukic
Bracing For An Explosion
"I was on a restaurant and they were using a propane tank to power an outdoors heater. Suddenly the tank started to catch fire and I got out quickly because i thought it was going to explode."
"The staff turned the tank off and everyone laughed at me for overreacting but damn i got scared lol."
– waycatowa
Scary People
You never know people's intentions, but usually, your gut has the correct instincts.
Temperamental Customer
"My friend and I met at Waffle House for lunch. A guy came into the restaurant looking for a piece of paper that he had accidentally left on a table. The waitress didn't know where the paper was located and might have thrown it away. The guy got upset saying the paper was important and he was going home to get his gun stored under his mattress. My friend and I quickly paid our check and got the heck out of the restaurant!"
Stranger Danger
"I lived in south Everett WA for a couple years. Was walking home from the bus stop to my apartment, which took me behind the home depot. Suddenly a van starts following me, I hear the side door slide open and look behind me to see a man with the top half of his body hanging out the slider door looking at me. I took off running towards my apartment, literally running as far as I could, the van started going faster. By chance a guy was pulling out of the driveway of my apartment complex, sees me running for my life, and stops. The van immediately turns around and speeds off. Guy asks if I'm okay. I ask him to just stay there and please watch me walk into my apartment, which was the building next to his. He did, thank God. I started carrying mace and a very large knife the next day."
A Very Convenient Store
"A coworker got off the bus at night in Scarborough, Ontario and a guy stepped out from behind the bus shelter and started calling to her to wait up. He ran up to her, she screamed 'I don't know you' and ran into a convenience store. The guy hung around outside for a few minutes, then walked over to a vehicle and got in and drove off. She waited for a neighbour in her apartment complex to come over and walk her home."
"She filed a police report and it turned out she had narrowly escaped Paul Bernardo, then known as the Scarborough Rapist, later known as a serial killer alongside his wife Karla Homolka."
– Kanadark
Lost In Translation
"I was the only white guy working at a Hispanic restraunt and I dont speak spanish that's part of it. One night after work I get invited to drink at one of their houses. All is going good we're drinking and I even danced a bit. Then after going outside to the back patio to smoke a cigarette I come back inside and the guy whose house I was at has a knife and is yelling at these 3 coworkers of mine blocking the front door yelling in spanish that no one is leaving(I knew that much). A bar patron who knew me grabbed me and pleaded to the guy just to let me and him out since we had no part in it. The homeowner let's us both out. I ask the bar patron wtf was that when we're outside since I cant speak spanish and he says the guy thinks my 3 coworkers are sleeping with his wife and hes probably about to kill them. I got in my car and got the F out of there."
– myfriendlikestoes
Out Of Our Control
Nature and animals figured into these scenarios alerting of danger.
Heroes
"I was walking to my house from my ex house very early in the morning when I saw this little girl with a backpack running for her life from two big street dogs. At that moment I didn't think and I ran towards the dogs and missed a kick, the two dogs came after me biting my legs and arm. They were out of control and these were like the longest 5 minutes of my life. I couldn't stop them from biting me, the little girl kept running until I didn't see her anymore. It was just me and the dogs attacking me. I tried to climb a fence to get inside a house but I couldn't when a taxi driver stopped and went out of the car with a short stick and he tried to scare them off giving me a chance to run and without thinking I got inside the car, the guy just ran a couple of times around the car with the dogs behind until he got in and he drove off like really fast. He took me to the hospital where I got a lot of stitches on my legs, arms and hands. That guy is my hero. Every now and then I go to his taxi stop and give them sandwiches or something. We never knew what happened to those dogs."
– NerdBene
Not Leaving Kansas
"I was driving north on I-65 in the middle of Indiana. The sky was getting dark, the wind was picking up, it started hailing ... I turned on the radio to hear that a tornado was nearby. I determined it was behind me going from SW to NE and about to cross over the interstate. Other cars were driving slow or pulling over because of the rain and hail...I was hauling a** to get away from there."
– MrJDL71
Blair Witch?
"I was solo camping in the woods during a phase where I wanted to be a survival expert. I hiked out, miles from any roads or building, built a shelter and then hiked back the way I came."
"Less than a mile away from my camp, I found a dead coyote, decapitated, gutted, and laid out like a sacrifice or something. The eyes were gouged out and it was strung across a big, flat rock. A rock which I used as a marker on the way in, so I know it hadn't been there a day before."
"I ran out of there as fast as I could, knife at the ready, probably 10 miles back to my house. I still have no idea who would have done it, but I know I didn't want to run into them in the woods alone."
Sometimes, you find yourself already in the midst of madness.
The Pursuit
"I was leaving for work at 5:30 am, while it was still dark. I locked the inside door handle and walked out the door pulling the door closed behind me. As I turned around to walk off the porch toward my car, I saw four men jump out of a van and start coming toward me. The street was otherwise empty."
"My heart was pounding and I felt panic start as I was digging in my big, messy purse for my keys to unlock the door and get back in my house. The whole time, I’m just thinking they are going to grab me, shove me in the van, and rape/kill me. I was able to get back in my house before they made it to me, but it scared the shit out of me. Turns out they were immigrations officers looking for someone who used to live in our house, and that is standard practice for them if they think the suspect will run!"
– SugarDonutQueen
The Bible Guy
"I was living at a pretty upscale apartment complex. The perimeter was lined with REALLY nice ground level town home units. This one guy moved into one and he was kind of odd. On warm days he’d walk around shirtless in the complex’s park which is odd for PNW, but I mean okay... then he started pasting bible verses to his window. Now I’m not saying liking the Bible is an issue, but that was an alarm bell. ...then he started writing in charcoal over the Bible verses pasted to his window...."
"Then one night I took my dogs for a walk. It was during a bout when my dogs weren’t sleeping much and needed 2am walks. I go down to the park area in front of these townhome units. Lots of bushes and trees. My dogs are pissing in the bushes and suddenly my girl dog gets low and starts growling. We notice there are boots in the bushes. I then look around and notice a dozen figures in black tactical gear and masks. Virtually invisible. I freeze and start to panic. One of them puts his finger to his...mask? I assume where his mouth was. I got the hint and bolted. Right as I get to the entrance of my apartment I see them take a battering ram to the door and drag the Bible verse guy out completely naked as he screams about how god is judging them. The unit smelled HORRIBLE and was left as-is for months. Eventually a nice couple moved in. I asked the building management what happened and I was given a look and told 'you don’t want to know.'"
– geminiwave
Stuck Without A Passport
"I woke up one Friday in a hotel and the internet was down. I went to the hotel lobby to see what was up, and saw scenes of chaos on the TV. A crowd had started to gather to watch, including the hotel staff. One employee told me the government had shut down the internet to test it. The scenes on the TV were of violent protests beginning all over Egypt as people made their first push to occupy Tahrir Square. It was January 25, 2011 and I was in Benghazi, Libya. Without my US passport."
"Needless to say I spent my energy over the next few days trying to get out of the country. I was able to leave but many of the people I was working with weren’t as lucky. The revolution started in Benghazi less than two weeks later. It was surreal watching Anderson Cooper broadcasting live from the hotel I had just been staying in."
"EDIT: A bunch of people asked about my passport so I’ll elaborate further. I’m actually paranoid about giving up my passport when I travel, so it was an odd story how that happened. It was my second trip, and I always brought color copies of my passport to give when someone asked for it so I’d never hand over my original. My first trip I travelled with someone who had been to Libya multiple times."
"I’m an architect and we were working for a Turkish contractor. They requested the passport that first trip to 'get a stamp.' I initially refused and said I would do it myself if needed. The other architect was more senior and explained they just used a runner to take it to the police station and get a stamp which was required if you stay longer than a week. He showed me his so I backed down and let them have it. I got it back that day and it had the stamp."
"On my second trip they requested the passport for the same process, but I still didn’t have it back by the third day when the internet was shut off. I called our company from the hotel to get a plane ticket to Istanbul. The next flight was on a Saturday afternoon. The client had my passport and didn’t want us to leave because they were afraid we’d trigger a panic at the job site. So they kept claiming they didn’t have my passport back yet. We ended up in a full blown shouting match demanding it back when we were in danger of missing the flight out. They finally gave it back after we started threatening to call our company and walk away from the project."
"The stress didn’t end there, because my passport didn’t have the stamp once it was returned. I was stopped when going through customs trying to leave, and it was clear they were having a conversation about the missing stamp. They ended up letting me go, but I didn’t feel like I could take a breath till I was in the air."
"I had been communicating with a close friend via text throughout all this. I didn’t want to worry my wife about the situation. He knew to contact her if I stopped responding. I called her that Saturday night from Istanbul to tell her what had happened and that I was no longer in the country."
Of course, no one should be in constant fear and being overly cautious when they are out and about. Otherwise, what's the point?
There is no point in living life always searching for emergency exits.
But when your built-in life alert signals to you that you need to get the hell out of, say, your house, just remember this tidbit:
Never run up the stairs.
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We all have our favorite movie stars, whose presence alone is what leads us to see certain films.
However, even the greatest actors aren't immune to delivering some sub-par performances.
Particularly, when they found themselves in roles for which they were less than ideally suited.
Indeed, Kevin Coster is anything but authentically English in Robin Hood: Prince Of Thieves, nor do Leonardo DiCaprio or Cameron Diaz sound convincingly Irish in Gangs of New York.
Mickey Rooney playing a Japanese man in full yellow-face, hitting every racist stereotype possible in Breakfast at Tiffany's being among the most infamous examples of miscasting.
"Which actor was truly miscast in a particular role?"
Who Says Wizards Can't Be From New York?
"Ray Liotta in the 'Dungeon Siege' movie."
"He plays an evil wizard and he literally just looks like he walked off the set of a gangster movie like 'Goodfellas'."
"It's pretty hilarious."- nvaughan81
Yellow Face Is Never OK...
"John Wayne as Genghis Khan."- Spodson
"Mickey Rooney as Yunioshi in 'Breakfast at Tiffany’s'."- nobodysbestfriendd
Sadly Not At All The Worst Thing About This Movie...
"Gary Oldman as a dwarf in 'Tiptoes', also starring Peter Dinklage."- B0BA_F33TT
GiphyEven Fictional Actors Can Be Miscast...
"Vincent Chase [from Entourage] as 'Pablo Escobar'."- snailwitch11
"Tugg Speedman [from Tropic Thunder] as Simple Jack."- Anal_Punisher69
Animated GIFGiphySomeone Needs To Choose Their Roles More Carefully
"Mark Wahlberg as Sully in the 'Uncharted' movie."- solarShep
"Mark Wahlberg in 'Transformers'."
"The buff guy from Mass is an inventor in Texas?"- DrugsRBadMan
Making The Villain As Good Or Better Looking Than The Hero Is A Choice...
"I think of Marwan Kenzari as Jafar in the new 'Aladdin'."
"Jafar was a creepy, old man and they cast a handsome younger man."
"He was not at all intimidating, I don't feel they gave him very good lines."
"Someone early on had made a joke that the poster for the movie looked like a porn parody and I couldn't get that out of my head whenever I saw Jafar."- jorbal4256
GiphyBut How Do You Really Feel?
"Steven Seagal as an action star."- sealox
Didn't Have Much More Luck As Batman...
"Ben Affleck as 'Daredevil'."
"The script was bad and that can take a lot of the blame."
"However Affleck still moves around like his spine is fused, while trying to portray one of the more nimble characters in marvel."- apandarelic
Best Left Forgotten
"Almost the entire cast of the 'The Last Airbender' movie."
"I agree that it could've made a decent movie if it wasn't for M.N.Shyamalan as director, but Idk."
"I found the whole bending and the effects were actually not bad (except fire bending that looked awful to me) and I also liked the soundtrack."
"But compared to the nickelodeon show it's..well..can't be compared."
GiphyThe World Was Definitely Not Enough To Justify This Casting...
"Denise Richards, the nuclear scientist in that James Bond movie."- jomarthecat
"Paul Rudd as the a**hole husband in Night at The Museum."
"If you watch that movie while imagining that Ben Stiller and Paul Rudd's roles were reversed, it would be so much better."
"'Night at The Museum' is secretly a Paul Rudd movie."- rh3toricalanswer
Impossible Shoes To Fill... But Someone Could Have Filled Them Better...
"Vince Vaughn as Norman Bates."
"But only a complete nutter would remake Psycho in the first place."- TaxApprehensive3051
GiphySometimes, a script is just so good, that an actor simply isn't able to say no.
Despite knowing how wrong they are for the role.
But it's a sign of integrity when any actor knows their limitations, or what's right, and passes on a role knowing there must be someone better suited for the part.
...Seriously though, were there really NO English actors available to play Robin Hood?....
As long as we paid even the slightest attention during history class, we all know the basic history of World War II.
There are, of course, some historians who learn even more minute details of the history of World War II, possibly even having the opportunity to speak to veterans and Holocaust survivors, of which very few remain today.
However, even the most die-hard history buffs find themselves surprised by some information that isn't common knowledge—things your history teacher might neglect to mention in class, but are worthy of being known by everyone regardless.
"What is a WW2 fact everyone should know?"
The Göring Brothers
"The story of the Göring brothers is mind blowing."
"Hermann Göring was a high ranking Nazi party member."
"He was head of the Luftwaffe and he was designated to be Hitler's successor after the world was conquered and Hitler eventually died."
"His brother was Albert Göring."
"Albert was staunchly Anti-Nazi."
"Albert saw the regime for what it was, brutal, horrible, murdering racists."
"He especially objected to the treatment of the Jewish people."
"Albert would actually use the fact of who his brother was to get out of trouble for helping Jews escape."
"He would do things like drive a transport truck to the camps or ghettos where they were held, and demand to be given multiple people for work, or whatever excuse he would give."
"When he got resistance, he would drag out 'Do you know who my brother is? NOW BRING THEM TO ME!'."
"He would then drive them to safety and release them."
"He once saw a bunch of Jewish women being forced to scrub a street, so he hopped down on his knees and joined them."
"When the Nazi officer realized who he was, the scrubbing stopped."
"He did many things like this."
"Saving Jews from almost certain death."
"Defying the party."
"Defying his brother."
"Again, using his brothers political clout to derail Nazi objectives."
"And then, he gets captured, at the end of the war, and is going to be killed with the other captives, because OF COURSE Göring's brother must be Nazi scum."
"By sheer dumb luck, a person in charge of processing his termination paperwork was a Jew he saved!"
"That person spoke up, and many others did, and he was set free."
"After the war, Albert Göring was questioned during the Nuremberg Tribunal."
"However, many of those he had helped testified for him, and he was released."
"Soon afterwards, Göring was arrested by the Czechs, but he was again released when the full extent of his activities became known."
"Also, after his divorce post war, he ‘married’ his housekeeper solely so she could receive his pension after his death."- Goatmanthealien
Disney Propoganda
"Disney made a number of propaganda cartoons."
"A funny one, depicting Donald Duck living in a caricaturized Third Reich, and a serious one, depicting a German child being raised and systematically brainwashed by the Nazi regime."- Obamas_Tie
Plane Production
"The United States produced 150% more planes in 1944 alone than Japan did in the whole war."- SuvenPan
The Truth Behind Japan
"Purple Hearts given out today by the US were manufactured for the invasion of Japan."- Steve_the_Samurai
Horrific Torture
'Zyklon B, the brand of cyanide used by the nazis to kill in the concentration camps, had a tearing agent in it (basically tear gas)."
"This is because it was used as a rat poison, and the idea was to get people to go away from it."
"The nazis asked the manufacturer to remove it, but they didn't, because they were concerned about losing revenue without that patent."
'So they kept it in, causing much more unnecessary misery and pain than if they just used cyanide."
"X 6 million people."- scrubjays
The True Rise To Power Of The Nazis
"Even though it appears that way to a lot of people, the Nazis did not come to power in one night or even over a short amount of time."
"There were months and years of events that lead to the Nazi takeover of Germany, and years between that takeover and the outbreak of the war."- citanXV
Witold Pilecki
"Witold Pilecki was a polish soldier who purposefully got himself put into Auschwitz so he could report on the atrocities inside."
"He helped other people inside the concentration camp by asking for more food for them, to release them, etc."
"In 1945 he made his report in Auschwitz available to the public."
"He continued to work on liberating those who were inside Auschwitz and died in 1948 via execution."- gaynflamboyant
The Sten Gun Poem
"The Sten gun was hated amongst troops so much a poem was written about it:"
"You wicked piece of vicious tin!"
"Call you a gun?"
"Don't make me grin."
"You're just a bloated piece of pipe."
"You couldn't hit a hunk of tripe."
"But when you're with me in the night, I'll tell you pal, you're just alright!"
"Each day I wipe you free of dirt."
"Your dratted corners tear my shirt."
"I cuss at you and call you names, You're much more trouble than my dames."
"But boy, do I love to hear you yammer When you 're spitting lead in a business manner."
"You conceited pile of salvage junk."
"I think this prowess talk is bunk."
"Yet if I want a wall of lead Thrown at some Jerry's head It is to you I raise my hat."
"You're a damn good pal... You silly gat!"- Imaginary_Fennel6772·
Forgotten Covert Missions
"The US Office of Strategic Services (predecessor to the CIA) devised a plan to demoralize Nazi troops by having French Resistance members secretly spray Nazi officers with the equivalent of military grade fart spray."
"The plan, in theory, was that German troops would think their commander sh*t himself and that would lessen their will to fight."
"So there's that."- __Arty__
The Sinking of the MV Gustloff
"The January 31, 1945 sinking of the MV Gustloff."
"It was a German passenger ship taking fleeing refugees from the eastern front."
"The Soviets downed it in the Baltic sea shortly after it launched."
"The total death toll is unknown because there were so many stowaways but it was at least 9,000, making it the largest maritime disaster in known history."
"It didn't get a lot of press because for the Allies the Germans were the enemy so who cares, and the Nazis certainly didn't want to talk about it because they're in the waning days of a losing war and the last thing they needed was another hit to their already sinking morale."- llcucf80
Nazi Boobytraps
"When in retreat, the Nazis would boobytrap pictures on the walls and leave them slightly crooked."
"They did this to entice officers to straighten them and set off an explosion."- Swizli
World War II lasted from 1939 till 1945.
Even the most dedicated of scholars will continue to learn new information which will surprise and horrify them as records are declassified.
We must always remember all the brave men and women who risked their lives, and whose lives were cut cruelly short.
Now that everyone has access to the internet, it's a lot easier to learn a bunch of stuff ... about a bunch of stuff.
But some people take great delight in deep dives on Wikipedia, and that can lead to a lot of completely random knowledge.
Redditor majdi105 asked:
"What is a completely random fact?"
Blue Blood
"Octopi have blue blood. This is due to their blood containing copper, as opposed to human blood, which contains iron."
"Additionally, as I know someone will bring it up, there are actually multiple correct ways to pluralize octopus. Octopi originates from the Latin pluralization, octopodes originates from the Greek pluralization, and octopuses uses the standard English pluralization."
- ultrasquid9
Fun With Weights And Measures
"A one-pound mixture of U.S. dimes, quarters, and half-dollars will always have a face value of $20, no matter the ratio of dimes to quarters to half-dollars."
- ScottRiqui
"I want to test this but if I go to the bank and ask for a pound of dimes, a pound of quarters, and a pound of half dollars and they don't give it to me in canvas bags with dollar signs on them I'm gonna be real disappointed."
- wandering_ones
"Math checks out. Half dollar is 11.340 g. A quarter is 5.670 g (half the weight and value of a half dollar). A dime is 2.268 g (one-fifth the weight and value of a half dollar). So this isn't unique to $20, but actually any amount of money."
- sputnik1288
This Is Why English Is Hard
"All the C's in 'Pacific Ocean' are pronounced differently."
- Xuntosub
"Love this one, think about it every time I see the words written somewhere"
- taken_us3rname
Heh...Poop
"When you say the word "poop" your lips do the same thing your bottyhole does when you go poop...there. there's a random fact"
- Slay9402
Dictionaries Are Descriptive, Not Prescriptive
"Dictionaries add words not because of worthiness but because of vernacular. If people use the word, then people need to have a way to look it up. It doesn’t matter if you like the word 'crunk' or not"
- typesett
"That word sounds pretty cromulent to me"
- Gaskii
"The comment embiggened my knowledge."
- MacduffFifesNo1Thane
No More Beeps
"Press and hold the # 2 button for about three or four seconds on your microwave to silence the beeping noise. Press and hold it again to turn the noise back on. Works on most microwave ovens. Works like a mute button."
- wyoflyboy68
That's A Lot Of Consonants
"Knightsbridge is the only station on the London Underground to contain six consecutive consonants in its name."
- beeteedee
The Shape Is Important
"Manhole covers are round so they don’t fall in the hole."
- hobanwash1
"They’re also not the only shape that has that property. A Reuleaux triangle can’t fall in."
- davesoverhere
We Were Lied To
"1 horse has about 15 horsepower"
- Businessmoney123
Runways
"Airport runways are numbered based on the magnetic direction they face, rounded to the nearest tenth. Over time as earth’s magnetic field shifts they occasionally have to renumber a runway."
- WakeMeForSourPatch
"Yep and when there's 2 runways that are parallel like at LAX or SFO you end up with something like 28L and 28R for runway 28 Left and Right"
- arent_you_hungry
Science Is Awesome
"if you burn steel wool it gets heavier"
- Josef_45
"Because it's reacting with the oxygen in the air and the resulting oxide includes the mass of oxygen?"
- didijxk
"And you can light it .... with a 9volt battery, even when wet."
- therealtidbits
Not Quite A Rattle
"rattlesnake tails don't actually have anything in them. They're segmented loosely, so the entire thing just kinda flops around. what you're hearing is the individual segments banging into each other."
- FireInHisBlood
What's In A Name?
"The actual name for a butt crack is 'intergluteal cleft.'"
- Gerbilflange
"This would be a kick-ass rock band name."
- Evening_Dress5743
Mountain Facts
"The Appalachian Mountains and the Scottish Highlands are part of the same mountain chain."
- beanomly
"The Appalachian Mountains are older than the rings of Saturn. A lot older."
- Carbon_McCoy
We're Bad At Naming Things
"A mountain chicken is not a chicken. It's a type of frog."
- drywall_punching
Do you have a friend who is a fount of seemingly random knowledge, or are you the fact friend?
We need all kinds to make the world go round. This includes all kinds of people with all kinds of skillsets to do all kinds of jobs.
However, some jobs just aren't needed.
Sometimes it's because the occupation itself is silly. Other times, it's because the company went under or switched directions, but kept paying you for a job that no longer existed.
Whatever the case, Redditors have lots of stories about useless jobs and why they are considered useless, and are ready to share.
It all stared when Redditor Squirrelkid11 asked:
"What job is useless?"
Woof Woof
"Pet Psychic. Our Golden Retriever was getting joint therapy (shoulder injury, worked with a vet, dog did swimming three days a week in a heated pool where he could exercise without putting weight on the joint, also did some exercises, is now fine. The place also did laser therapy and acupuncture for dogs.)"
"Someone said something about 'Hudson' which is our dog's name only they were talking to another dog. 'Oh,' they said, 'That's the dog psychic's dog.' Apparently you could find out what your dog was thinking."
"I know what my dog is thinking. Most of the time he either wants what I'm eating or he wants me to throw the ball."
– LucasBN2
"I'm a pet psychic too, but unfortunately I can't speak dog. Whole lot of woofing going on in their heads though."
– Herzeleid-
Falling To The Wayside
"I once filed charges against my employer for an unethical issue that happened. Attorneys were involved and it was ugly for about 2 weeks. I had all job assignments taken away while the investigation was conducted. In the middle of the investigation is when covid took off and the world went into a tailspin."
"Everyone who was involved with my issue/charge just started exiting the company and I just never had any duties given back to me. I stayed in that role for 6 months without anyone ever questioning what I did. I would come into work, and make a lap around the site, take an hour lunch and come and go as I wanted."
"It was a fortune 500 and they just lost track of who I was or what I was doing. I was working on a project team and everyone just assumed my direction came from someone else. At one point the company slashed 20% of the salaried workforce and I never heard a word."
"When I left the company for an external opportunity they gave me a sizable exit package to resolve my charge and a wonderful review. It was the worst of times due to the anxiety of always expecting the worst, and the best of times because I was just coming and going with no direction or expectations of any kind."
– eedlez67
"I've had something similar to this happen myself. I wasn't paid, though."
"I'm an off-site subcontractor for a huge corporation. Huge, as in, not just one building at headquarters, it was an entire campus spread over 20 buildings. I work from home."
"So I'm a subcontractor, not an actual employee. And I need to go to HQ for a week of hands-on work that can't be done at home."
"The hands-on work required access to a server room. And the server room was locked, you needed a passcard to get in. So for the first day or two, I'd have to bug an employee to let me back into the server room after going to the bathroom, or to lunch."
"Plus, I had nowhere to "work". Nowhere to set up my laptop and actually get work done. There were no desks/chairs in the server room."
"So some low-level executive got the bright idea, let's get whomp a temporary badge and passcard to access the server room without bugging anyone else, and let's let whomp set up in one of those empty, unoccupied offices."
"The intent was for this to be temporary, but the corporate wheel started moving...."
"All of a sudden, overnight, that unoccupied office got all the things that a new hire would get. Staplers, monitors, file folders, pens, pencils, desk blotter. A binder showed up with company handbook, policies, maps, and so on."
"The next day, the office had MY NAME on it. A BRASS PLAQUE on the door had my name on it. And a phone was installed, and the office assistant came over to show me how to use it. I had a voicemail mailbox that now belonged to me. A laptop was issued to me. I was shown how to access the shared printer."
"My week ended, and I went back home, cross country."
"For MONTHS, "my office" was still there! I'd ask friends who worked there, to go check, and my office was still there. Others working nearby thought I was just traveling a lot. My voicemail stayed active for months too. To everyone's understanding, I was an employee who just happened to work odd hours, or something."
"About eight months later someone figured out the mistake."
– whomp1970
Ring, Ring
"Telemarketers, I don’t know a single person who has actually purchased something from a telemarketer. Maybe it’s something the older generation does but everyone hates them and immediately hangs up on them around me."
– Administrative_Toe96
"I don't even answer my phone when friends call."
– mscocobongo
"I worked as a telemarketer for State Farm when I got out of high school, and in 8 months I had one person actually let me give her a quote. It was my aunt."
– YoutubeRewind2024
What Did The Sign Say?
"No one is talking about those sign spinners that became popular."
"Who has ever seen someone flipping a sign and"
- "been able to read it"
- "went to the business to buy something because of it"
– Oshester
Privacy Please
"Bathroom attendants. I don’t need somebody in there pulling paper towels out the dispenser just to hand it to me and compel me to tip them."
– Ozzy_HV
"I never saw this until I was visiting Ireland a few years back, and man, was it f*cking annoying."
"It's bad enough there's a guy standing at the sinks watching you have a leak, but then he wants a euro or two for handing you a towel to dry your hands."
– Fresh-Hedgehog1895
Ouch!
"Influencers"
– sugarkiwipie
"What's the difference between a social media influencer and a philosophy major?"
"The philosophy major needed a degree to be useless."
"(Sorry philosophy majors)"
– Actuaryba
Pressing Buttons
"An elevator attendant."
"“First floor sir? I’ll press button number 1 for you.”"
– Carl_Clegg
"I’m so old I remember when they had these in department stores. Whilst shopping with my grandma one day we got in an elevator and the attendant asked if we wanted the second floor. My grandma replies, “why yes, how did you know?” He says, “ma’am, there’s only two floors, and we’re currently on the first one.”"
– Penguin_Dreams
Office Matron
"The lady who walks around the office saying "Don't be on your phones, if you have time for that then you can study about the company!""
"Same lady that is pushing hard to go back in the office, because remote work pointed out how useless that position is."
– digitalmofo
"We had that lady at my old job. She would put passive aggressive laminated signs in the bathroom about cleaning up after yourself. Since she's an idiot (big surprise) most of the signs had major spelling mistakes. Some coworkers and I would edit them and give an overall grade on the signs, usually with a note that said "Subpar work. Please see me after class.""
– tallhorsemusic
Tempting Fate
"I took a job scheduling residential HVAC technicians for a mid-sized company after a few years of working in the field. A few months in, the company ended its residential program to focus on commercial."
"Thing is, they already had commercial schedulers. My boss told me she'd find me a new roll, but then she took another job elsewhere and left."
"I stayed as a scheduler with no one to schedule in a department that no longer existed. No one in the office seemed to realize this, and for over half a decade, I would show up, make friendly conversation in the breakroom while making my coffee, and then literally just did nothing the rest of the day. Having left a stressful job, it was glorious."
"Occasionally someone would ask me an hvac or system-related question over email, and that was it. I made sure everyone liked me by bringing in bagels every Monday and donuts every Friday."
"Then covid happened and now I was doing nothing at home!"
"When I learned the company was being sold, I figured I wouldn't tempt fate anymore and applied elsewhere. My department head gave a glowing recommendation, having no idea what I even did but knowing I was friendly and helped him jump his car a few times."
– Belozersk
Got A Car? You're Safe!
"We have a specific security guard we've had for 13+ years now and is pretty useless. The security guard lives there and has a tv. He watches telenovelas most of the time."
"All he does is open the gate, and doesn't even bother to even inspect though, since according to his logic 99% of people who can afford a car aren't bad/harmful people. He doesn't ask names or house numbers, just opens the gate whenever he sees a car."
"Anyone can come in if they have a car, he doesn't even inspect faces."
"And do you know the worst part?"
"When moving into the privada, you are supplied with your own control remote. The gates are also automatic."
– Chandler367
"So he only opens the gate for anyone who doesn't live there..? Yikes"
– spencerandy16
Teach Me Tonight
"My math teacher who tells me to log in to Pearson and then disappears"
– NethrixTheSecond
"21st century version of"
"here's today's packet, it's based on chapter 4 in the text book, good luck" *plays solitaire for an hour"
– TitanicMan
"I dropped a university class this term because the week 3 assignment said to 'look up how to do this on Google, Stackexchange, or ChatGPT'."
"I'm not paying 1400 dollars to be taught by an ai chat bot lmao"
– 303Devilfish
The sad thing is, teaching is one of the least useless jobs out there.
Maybe if we paid them better, they'd want to be better!