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Genius Professionals Reveal The Questions You Should Ask In A Job Interview

Genius Professionals Reveal The Questions You Should Ask In A Job Interview

Genius Professionals Reveal The Questions You Should Ask In A Job Interview

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Trying to land the perfect career, or at the very least a decent job can be a very trying task. What is the perfect attire? What do I say? How do I respond? Lord someone tell me how to get this damn job! Say no more!!

Redditor __fcukgrammerasked *At the end of a job interview they always ask "Would you like to ask any questions?" What question should the candidate ask? _Pads and pencils out people. *_

TELL ME ABOUT YOU?

Ask them for a brief summary of their time with the company. Favorite aspects, challenges, overall experience of working there.

You'll be surprised how well received it is. Shows that you are interested, but also that you still have a decision to make. Plus people like talking about themselves.

ASK AROUND FOR THE DIRT.

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Reminds me of an interview I had in which the boss told me that she didn't think i was qualified or right for the job but if I wanted it, she'd hire me anyway. I decided I didn't want to work for someone who didn't believe in me from the start, but decided to speak with the other employees anyway, as suggested by her. When I asked a group of them what it was like working for her, they all just looked around at each other and giggled nervously without giving any further response. I thanked them and left, knowing I dodged a bullet.

STUDY THE LAY OF THE LAND....

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I've got a 90% success rate in interviews for programming.

If it has gone well, I ask to see the offices where I'd work if I do get the position.

Several reasons:

1: Confidence.

2: A willingness to meet my colleagues before I have to.

3: Get to see if it's an open-plan hellhole.

4: See how hot it is.

5: See if it's casual dress.

6: See what the equipment quality is like.

7: Get a feel for the atmosphere.

8: See where I would be sitting.

If you've got a choice of jobs it's IMPORTANT to know if you're picking a place that has a shitty environment...

We do spend most of our waking moments in work...

LEAVE NO STONE UNTURNED.

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These are my favorite questions to ask. I feel they show a genuine interest in the position and it usually catches the interviewer off guard, and at the very least, it's payback for the bullshit "Where do you see yourself in 5 yrs" type questions.

-How would you describe the culture here at (job company)?

-How did this position come to be open?

-What does success look like for this position?

-What is the biggest achievement this department has made?

-What is the biggest challenge facing this department right now?

-Besides a paycheck, what keeps you coming back to work here every day?

Most of the questions let you see how full of s*** they are. You get the upper hand in the most friendly was possible and it definitely gives you a little more insight into the position and company. Most of the time they get caught off guard and give a generic answer, all the places that hired me/I decided to work at had a solid response right off the bat. Lastly, this is bit of a wild card question, but I like to drop this at the very end and have never gotten a "No"...

-Would you mind giving me a tour of where this job would take place so I can get a feel of where I'd be working and who I would be working with?

Chances are NO ONE has ever asked this question, and sometimes it can really help break the ice and give you a slight edge when it's time to select a candidate.

THERE IS NO "I" IN TEAM.

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What common characteristics do you see in people who do well in this position?

What are the biggest challenges people face when they start out in this position?

What is your vision for the team/company?

How is the office culture?

LET'S DISCUSS THE DAILY GRIND.

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I've always been impressed with "So if I were to have this position, can you give me a snapshot of what a typical day would look like?"

KEEP IT CHILL.

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I usually hijack the interview and ask the interviewer questions throughout the process.

Turns the interview into a regular conversation for me. And so less pressure. Works for me at least.

ENOUGH ABOUT YOU.... LET'S DO ME.

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I would also say something like "How would you measure my level success, if I were chosen for this role?" This makes them think...hard...and gives you a key piece of info if you do indeed get hired. Even helpful if you were to have a second interview, and you can reference this in some way.

FOCUS ON SINCERITY.

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Ask questions that you legitimately want to know the answer to. In the past I've had really terrible work experiences where I was given no feedback or performance evaluation, so I never knew where I stood with management.

Now, when I'm being interviewed one of the questions I always ask is what their protocol or policy is for employee feedback or performance evaluation.

I like to know who is evaluating me, and on what criteria am I being evaluated. Knowing that has been one of the biggest helps in my career.

DON'T IGNORE THE PAST.

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What is the most impressive accomplishment a previous employee has done in this position?

DO YOU LIKE ME? I LIKE YOU.

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After asking job specific questions, the final question should be "Do you have any reservations about me or my background for this position?"

That way you can squash any of their hesitations if they have any.

SOMETHINGS ARE BETTER LEFT UNASKED.

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When do I start and is your wife single?

THERE IS MUCH UNKNOWN. GOT A PENCIL?

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In my work I have to conduct a lot of interviews, and I know everyone sees these things slightly differently, but here's a set of my dos and donts and maybes.

Don't:

  1. Don't ask a question that you could easily have got the answer to by going on the company website. For me the very worst thing you can do is show that you haven't looked into the company at all.
  2. Don't ask for any details that are on the job listing. If you are wondering about hours, salary, place of work, etc then that info will be on the job advert. If it isn't, you can ask for clarification, though making it clear that you did read the job description properly. In any case, don't make this your first question. Interviewers know that these details will be important to you but we don't want it to be the first thing your mind goes to.
  3. don't be a smartarse. Any combination of "how do I get your job?"/"what time should I be in on Monday?"/"tell me why I should accept your offer?" etc If you try to be "assertive" or make it the opportunity to "interview the interviewer", we won't find it daring and clever and ambitious. We will just think it's a bit arrogant. My first thought when this has happened before has always been, "I wouldn't want them meeting clients".
  4. Don't ask how it went. This is such a bad idea. If it went badly I'm not going to tell you there and then as I don't want a confrontation. If it went well I'm still going to want to review and confer with colleagues, but you've just made it awkward. It's not a deal breaker but there is nothing positive than can come from it. Whether you get the offer or not you can always ask for feedback later.

Do:

  1. ask a question that shows that you have found out about the company. Even small companies will usually have a website, and often with a 'news' section. Two of the best questions I have been asked: "I see you have opened up offices in India recently. What do you see as the long term strategy for that market?" She had read up on the company, was up to date on what we were up to, and was curious and engaged and displaying thought processes we wanted to see in the job itself. The other was, "what has the department's experience been of working with government agency 'X'? Have you had to come into contact with govt agencies 'Y' and 'Z'?" Obv I'm withholding details there, but this woman was showing immediately that she knew some of the challenges that you face in the particular line of work she was applying for. She was showing experience, knowledge of the job, and getting a feel for the nature of the company and its way of doing things in a way that was well beyond the basics in a job description.
  2. Do ask what the long term prospects are for the person who takes up the job. Will there be the opportunity for professional development? Are there associated training opportunities such as...(have one or two specific things in mind here)? Is it a stable team or are there a lot of short term staff? You don't want to sound like you're already gunning for promotion before you've even had a job offer, but interviewers like to get a feel that you're not just jumping into the job for 6 months while you work out what you want to do next.
  3. Do show enthusiasm. If there is a particular aspect of the job that you would be really excited about, ask about it- how much of my time could I dedicate to this aspect of the job? Would there be a chance for me to implement some new ideas into that part of the company?

Maybe:

  1. ask the interviewer their personal opinion/story on something: what has been your favourite aspect of working here? What do you see as the company's greatest strength? How did you get into the business? But be careful. You don't want to put the interviewer on the back foot.
  2. Ask something informal. Sometimes something in your cv will have prompted a bit of chat about something not quite business related. Let's say you have listed a job you did in say Denmark, and an interviewer mentions they also lived in Denmark. Right at the end, strictly when all proper questions are done, you might ask, "what took you to Denmark, whereabouts did you live/work?" Again, this is a maybe because there isn't always something suitable raised during the interview worth asking about, and if there is you don't want to ask anything too personal. But it can be good to show you can be professional first but also show you can talk like a human being in a little bit if everyday conversation.

So there you go, that's only my thoughts based on what I have liked and disliked as an interviewer. I hope it is some help.

HOW CAN WE GROW TOGETHER?

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Things about that job. I am a manager at an MSP. As such, when interviewing I want people to ask questions about big picture items. Such questions could be "Are you currently growing?" "Where do you envision the company in 5 years?" or "Does the company experience a high turn over rate?". Things that show you are in it for the long haul. Then again, I am interviewing for a career path and not just a job. If it's like, McDonalds or Pizza Hut or something, you could just ask about turn over rate and current on going issues within the company?

YOU'VE GOT AN ISSUES... LET'S DISCUSS....

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"What do you wish your company did better?"

Gives you an opportunity to demonstrate how your skills/experience would help them do that thing better. Also lets the interviewer be honest about his employer.

MAKE IT RAIN!!

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Can I get a pay advance now?

BE OBSCURE. SURPRISE THEM!

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What is your policy on the Bee movie?

STICK WITH WHAT'S MOST IMPORTANT!!

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"if this company is Hogwarts, which house does my department represent?"

BE HONEST.

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Is it cool if I call out on Monday? I have a thing.

FEEL OUT THE ROUGH TERRAIN.

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I always like to ask "What would someone in this department/position say is the most challenging part? Followup what is the most rewarding part?" I've been complimented by interviewers for asking this

Movie Twists That Caught Audiences Completely Off-Guard

Reddit user -HornyCorny- asked: 'What’s a movie twist that caught you completely off guard?'

There's nothing like leaving a movie theater having just seen an excellent movie.

Particularly one that took you by surprise.

Perhaps it was deeper and more meaningful than it purported itself to be, or on the flip side, had much more warmth and humor that you would have expected.

Or, the film took an unexpected twist that you never saw coming.

Resulting in your needing to bite your tongue until the rest of your friends and family see the film, and not spoil the surprise for them.

Redditor HornyCorny was curious to hear which plot twists left viewers utterly speechless, leading them to ask:

"What’s a movie twist that caught you completely off guard?"

He Didn't See It Coming Either!

"Brad Pitt in 'Burn After Reading'."

"So surprising and downright freaking hilarious."- thefirehairman

If The Shoe Fits...

"'The Shawshank Redemption'."

"Come on."

"It's not always a man notices another man's shoes."- FUBARspecimenT-89

Lucky For Some, Not For All...

"'Lucky Number Slevin'."

"Huge twist and very satisfying."- kvlr954

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Rosie O'Donnell Would Agree...

"Fight Club."- BuchseeI

"once watched it with a friend who had never even heard of it, and she called the twist like, a half hour in."

"She said it as a joke and didn't realize she was right until the actual reveal, but still I was shook."- yugosaki

I See You Keyser Söze

"The ending of 'The Usual Suspects'."- Schwarzes__Loch

Definitive Shyamalan

''The Sixth Sense'."

'I love movies with plot twists, but I never imagined this one. It caught me completely off guard."- lucasduka

Haley Joel Osment Movie GIFGiphy

The Title Is Also Misleading...

"The second half of 'Parasite'."- iwontrememberthat4

Appropriately, They Really Toyed With Your Cognition

"'The Game'."- DudeHeadAwesome

"Good one!'

"I spent the entire movie going 'is it a game? Is it real?'"- fastpixels

There Were Definitely Ghosts...

"'The Others'."

"Unsuspected end."- NeckComprehensive743

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One Unforgettable Opening Scene

"'Scream'."

"The Drew Barrymore role."- LivingTheLife53

The Real Reason Everyone Is Terrified Of Bees...

"When I was a kid, I wanted to feel good and happy."

"So at the video store, I decided to rent a movie with two happy laughing kids on the DVD cover, thinking it would be a feel-good playful story."

"That movie was 'My Girl'."

"Eff that movie."

"Seriously."

'The DVD cover lies."

"IT LIES."- buckyhermit

You THOUGHT you knew who the villains were...

"'From Dusk to Dawn' — midway point."

"Didn’t know at all what I was walking into when saw it in the theatre decades ago — just, you know, Salma Hayek. Good enough."

"Quentin Tarantino slurping tequila from her foot after it ran down the entire length of her leg — that was already a 'Holy WTF' moment."

"But then, well.. . you know."

"And if you don’t know — quick, go watch it. "

"No trailer, no synopsis, no summary."

"Find it and load it 'blind' and fasten your seatbelt."

"You’re in for a wild ride."- canada11235813

George Clooney Tarantino GIF by MIRAMAXGiphy

It's Title Is More Than Accurate!

"'Crazy Stupid Love'."

"The scene when the whole movie goes apesh*t in the yard is one of my all time favorite movie scenes."- Fimbulvintern

Trifecta Of Twists

"'The Others'."

"The end of 'The Mist'."

"'The Prestige' (though, I ALMOST had it figured out, but not quite)."- Krinks1

There's nothing better than when a movie surprises you.

Even if it does make talking about said movie with people who haven't seen it a bit more challenging.

Case in point, people who saw The Sixth Sense and The Usual Suspects after their endings were spoiled for them, don't seem to like those movies as much as those who went in blind.


Every family has its secrets.

It's up to every new generation to unearth it all.

Don't we all want to know if we're related to famous people?

Or what if we have a familial stake in lands and businesses?

Also, this is a good way to NOT end up dating blood relatives.

The more you know, the less awkward later.

As much as there is a lot of trauma there could be a lot of cool facts to to discuss at parties.

Redditor ForthrightPedant wanted to hear some interesting family histories, so they asked:

"What is a historical fact about your family that you think is kinda neat?"

I don't have any family history.

Of course I've done no investigating.

Maybe I do.

I should look!

Super Talent

Excited Happy Hour GIF by Boomerang OfficialGiphy

"Great-grandpa created the Flintstones. Dan Gordon. Drew lots of Hannah-Barbara cartoons, and directed the first three animated Superman films at the beginning of WW2 as well as several seasons of Popeye, Scooby Doo, Smurfs, Yogi Bear, Huckleberry Hound."

downnoutsavant

Bad Voyage

"My grandfather disliked America and wanted to return to Ireland. He booked passage on the Titanic’s return voyage. If it wouldn’t have sunk, no of us would be here."

mrseddievedder

"My great-grandmother was a Titanic survivor. She was a steerage-class Lebanese immigrant in an arranged marriage. Her husband went down with the ship but she managed to make it to a lifeboat and made it to the Carpathia. Then she remarried in a Lebanese neighborhood in Virginia. Had it not been for the iceberg that struck and sank the Titanic My family lineage would be different and I wouldn't be here. My family's official toast is 'to the iceberg.'"

jaspersurfer

Forgotten

"My husband's grandfather was one of the 'forgotten soldiers' in Canada. He was a Canadian-born Chinese man who asked the Canadian government to fight for his right to vote and a passport. Even tho he was born in Canada in the 20’s since he was Chinese he was not considered Canadian."

H"e was dropped into the Burma jungle and was told he would likely never return. He was in the 10% that did return. He was given the right to vote, to a passport, and to University."

"His wife is still alive today and my son is named after him."

cowskeeper

​Can you imagine?

"My great-grandmother had 13 kids, so she was pregnant for literally a decade. There’s two hundred of us now, all because of this one woman."

CoverlessSkink

"My great grandma had 14 kids. My grandma was the youngest. She died giving birth to my grandma. The oldest child who was like 22 years old raised my grandma. My great-grandfather remarried a woman who had 10 kids of her own. My grandma would tell me stories of them all living together. Can u imagine? 😦."

Content_Pool_1391

Long Ago

american wtf GIF by unimpressionismGiphy

"The land my dad was raised on and my cousins still live on was deeded to the family by George Washington as compensation for service during the Revolution. There was a document with his signature on it at the courthouse until a fire destroyed the records a few decades ago."

mustbethedragon

So much land and fortune and HISTORY has been lost due to fire.

Thank God we keep more than paper records now.

Over the Moon

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"My second cousin is David Scott who walked on the Moon and drove the moon buggy. My mom does. He was so busy during the time when I was young that he even said later in life that he wished she’d gotten to know more of his family."

Roadgoddess

The Union

"Great-great-great grandfather on my mom's side was working his field in the part of Virginia that split off and became a new state because they didn't want to secede from The Union. Union soldiers came along looking for conscripts and he was a young, able-bodied man so they told him to come with them. He informed them he was a Quaker and thus a pacifist. According to family lore, that discussion went on for a bit but he would not give in. So they shot him and left him there. Good thing he had a couple of kids well before that day."

SpottyNoonerism

Opportiunities

"My great-grandfather was offered a chance to invest in a new invention by a guy by the name of Alexander Graham Bell. He declined, saying at most there would be one telephone per town."

Carson4307

"That is apparently my family too."

"One uncle apparently built a version of a hot water heater and then sold the design to GE for a good sum back then."

"Another uncle was asked if he wanted to be in a photo during his military service. He said no so they raised the flag on Iwo Jima without him in it."

"No idea if any of these are true, at best they are enhanced truths, but for me, I really hope they are true."

Jormungand1342

Underground

"I have a relative who worked for the Underground Railroad and had a price on her head in the South."

dahlia6767

"My uncle was a carpenter. And was doing restoration work on old houses in Yellow Springs, Ohio. Many of those old, historical homes had underground railroad passageways and hidden walls. He got to see and restore many of them. He had photos of some of the work he was doing and I got to see those as a kid. Living in Southern Ohio, we have a lot of rich underground railroad history here."

AddictiveArtistry

​Family Empire

blood discussion GIFGiphy

"My great-grandfather was the town police chief in the 1920s. His brother was the Mayor. Their cousins ran the casino."

"My family was a smaller version of Boardwalk Empire."

nowhereman136

Wouldn't we all love a show based on our families?

Then that's even more neat family history.

Burger and fries on plate
Photo by Haseeb Jamil on Unsplash

A lot of things have gone downhill since the pandemic, and it's made the whole process of bouncing back from those two to three years that much harder.

One thing we can all agree on is the quality of the food that we now find in restaurants, especially the fast-food joints we used to frequent and hit the drive-thru for on the drive home.

Curious what other people thought, Redditor Soy_tu_papi asked:

"What's the worst fast food restaurant?"

Eat... Expensive, Not Fresh

"Subway. The ingredients don't taste fresh. They don't give you enough meat or cheese. The bread tastes sweet. It's not even that cheap anymore."

- Brilliant-Mango-4

There for the Nostalgia

"Tim Hortons. We’re nostalgic for a time when they made fresh donuts and great soup and sandwiches. But that was more than 20 years ago and now everything is just heated from frozen garbage with garbage dish water coffee."

"The only reason they’re around is nostalgia and convenience. Americans for the most part didn’t fall for their crap when they expanded south because they didn’t have one on every corner, and they don’t have the nostalgia, and they already have a s**tty coffee and donut place called Dunkin."

- Strain128

Microwaved Soup

"Really, we all going to pretend like Panera is not fast food?"

- WelderNo6075

"It’s not fast. It's always a 20-minute wait."

- Greedy-Time-3637

"For microwaved soup."

- InsertBlueScreenHere

Hospital Food. Gourmet Prices

"Panera. For when you want hospital food, but you can’t afford the $127,209.00 hospital bill."

- BarnacleMcBarndoor

"Yeah, it’s only $126,208 for Panera."

- sherlock----75

"There is a similar yet worse than Panera hospital food restaurant called Atlanta Bread Company. How these two hell holes stay in business, I have no idea."

- GrandUnhappy9211

New Horizons

"I think KFC abandoned the American market and put all its resources into the Asian market, because omg KFC in Korea is something else. The chicken is breaded perfectly, with no mouth-destroying rock-hard breading and the ratio of breading to actual chicken meat is perfectly balanced."

"Also, the sauce selection; they have so many good sauces. The fries were great too."

- LolitasDaniel

RIP, Potato Wedges

"In my opinion, KFC. They got rid of their beloved potato wedges. The only thing I got there anymore was those and the mashed potatoes."

- dirtymoney

"Wendy’s breakfast potatoes almost fill that hole in my heart."

- Karsa69246

Those Darn Screens

"Any of them that have replaced their menu boards with TV screens that change every 15 seconds so I can't find the price of anything."

- xkulp8

"I hate the TVs. Maybe I'm just a bitter old guy, but they really don't seem to be an improvement. There's just too much going on, and it's too bright. Sure, it's probably more convenient for menu/price changes. But when you add in the cost and electronic waste, it doesn't feel like a net gain."

- BumpyMcBumps

No Longer Affordable

"McDonald’s. They’ve forgotten their role as the place I eat at because I’m broke, probably drunk, and want to fill up for a few bucks. Have you seen their prices lately!?"

- Jlace001

"A quarter pounder meal is over $10. $4 More bucks and you can get a chills old-timer and fries. And they always park you, so not very 'fast,' unless you are talking about the stomach cramps you get after."

- Eric12345678

Define 'Pizza'

"Little Caesars Hot-N-Ready is for when your manager promises you a pizza party when you exceed your sales goal and buys enough for one piece a person, but he's been talking up this party he's going to throw for you all week, so you come in on your day off and see two Hot-N-Ready boxes sitting there and some Dixie cups for water. Sometimes nothing is better, STEVE."

- cold08

"The secret technique for Lil Caesars is to give it another few minutes in the oven/under the broiler at home until it's to your liking."

- KaRabbit

The Great Pizza of the Past

"It hurts me to say this, but Pizza Hut."

"Back in the 80s and early 90s, Pizza Hut was amazing! It's somehow worse than Dominos now. It's a f**king travesty."

- Ocku2

"Their marinara sauce with breadsticks is watery now..."

"My friend and I used to ride our bikes there and play Pac-Man in eighth grade. Their breadsticks and sauce were amazing."

- KkdBaby

Small and Stale

"Whataburger is very hit or miss depending on the individual location. It was also better before it sold out and went national."

- HoovesCarveCrater

"It used to be so good, but it's so bad now. Earlier in the year, I went, and I got a stale bun with a tiny piece of meat they called a hamburger. Then I stupidly went again months later, and got the chicken sandwich. Both the bread and chicken were somehow stale. Never again, it's not worth it."

- user_base56

Belly Bombers, Indeed

"White Castle. I ate there once, and I now know what it feels like to reject an organ."

- flyzapper

"I have a stomach of steel when it comes to fast food. Not even Taco Bell gives me an above-average s**t. But when it comes to White Castle, some things just can't be saved."

- STILETTO_exists

A Rise in Poor Management

"Sonic used to be good."

"I feel for the two workers running the whole place. There used to be a lot of staff to handle the load."

"But now I feel bad going there simply because it's unfair to the workers. Which means corners get cut, things aren't clean, people aren't happy and workers end up catching the blame because there aren't enough of them."

"They really need to get it together. And treat their customers and employees right. It's going to kill their business."

- That_90s_Kid_

"The only Sonic near me stopped serving onion rings, which to me is their best side. And they take for-f**king-ever now to get you food, and half the time it's wrong or half-a**ed. I used to love Sonic, and I still want to and will go there, but every time it's a let-down in some form."

- SweetCosmicPope

"Sonic used to give their managers minority ownership as part of their compensation package. The result was highly motivated managers. Unfortunately, they had to work 80 to 90 hours a week. I thought about getting onboard with them but after using two weeks of vacation from my current job to work there, unpaid, I quickly decided smelling like French fries 24 hours a day, seven days a week was a very bad idea."

- the_beeve

A Series of Failures

"A bad KFC is tough to top, but there are still some amazing ones out there. The key is that it’s busy enough to have fresh chicken and a few employees that aren’t strung out. Not all. Just some."

"Burger King increasingly tastes like the burgers from my elementary school that sat in that weird burger water after being boiled in its own juices. I like their nuggets though."

"What even is Jack in the Box? It’s just some random assortment of food you take kids who can’t agree on what hot garbage they want to eat so you go here and make everyone unhappy."

"I’ve been to Whataburger once and it was bad, but since it’s crazy popular, I assume maybe it was just a bad experience and it was in AZ vs TX."

"I feel like I’m left with Little Caesars at this point, as the person buying those godawful hot and ready things is the epitome of a desperate person just trying to fill their children’s with ‘pizza’, thus the reason why there are any in existence."

- bowindine

So Real for This Answer

"Basically, every single one since the pandemic."

- MythicalMango123

"Dine-in prices for dollar store flavors."

- WannaBeTraveler87

"This is the answer. They are all awful now."

- chris1out

Especially for those of us who had the pleasure of experiencing these food places in the 80s, 90s, and maybe the very earls 2000s, it's terrible to think of how much these places have declined now.

As some Redditors have said, it's almost not worth going to these places anymore. We'd rather preserve the happy memories of going there with our families and friends rather than go for an unhappy meal now.

Red flag
Carson Masterson/Unsplash

If it wasn't for our inner voices warning us about various life predicaments, who knows where we'd end up?

When a salesperson for a product works their charm to persuade us, our instincts may tell us not to rush into purchasing due to the suspicious quality of the product.

When a prospective date shows up in person and they just don't match the impression you got during the online interaction, your gut is telling you to back away.

But sometimes, the warning signs don't come from you.

Strangers online weighed in with their experiences about being tipped off whenRedditor asked:

"What is the biggest red flag you have come across?"

These Redditors discuss polyamory and how it may or may not apply to them.

About Unfaithfulness

"Used polyamory as a scape goat for cheating."

– Helix_On_The_Hill

"I have a friend who claims to be poly. Then she confessed to me that she and her partner hadn't had sex in over a year, supposedly because her prescription meds lowered her libido - so she declared to him she was asexual. Partner just apparently went with it. Last year we went on a group trip overseas, and she immediately f'ked a stranger she met. She told her partner, which made him pretty upset (and he didn't do anything about it other than bottle it up), and that caused some tension during the trip."

"She then explained to me that it's okay to be poly and at the same time refuse to have sex with your primary partner. She offered a compromise to her partner that she would see a sex therapist."

"I ended up biting my tongue (this person reacts badly to getting feedback) and lost a lot of respect for them as a friend, because of the way she treated her partner when it came to sex."

– monkeychasedweasel

Common Strategy

"My Ex used the 'poly so I can cheat' strategy twice because she was disinterested in me. I would go into more detail but I’ve mostly chalked it up to a learning experience, moved on and mostly forgot about it."

"The other thing is that I can be a very clingy person and that’s why the strategy was so effective."

– Helix_On_The_Hill

Updating Your Significant Other

"I decided I'm poly and we're in an open relationship, sorry I didn't tell you until after I cheated".

– anon

"I'm poly. Every once and a while (really only ever seen it online), I'll hear about someone 'coming out' to their partner as poly. Grosses me the hell out."

– petrasdc

Full Transparency

"I would figure that's something you'd mention pretty early on to a potential new partner. Not go 'This isn't what it looks like!' In the middle of things."

– Mike7676

Anger issue is all the rage.

Tipping Point

"I've said it here before on my old account, the biggest red flag is quick to anger. If their default emotion is anger, that's unhealthy. I'm talking about snapping over the smallest mistakes/things. Over the top anger reactions. Any volatile reactions that do not match the situation are huge red flags."

– Practical_Reindeer23

Relationship On The Rocks

"My partner got angry with me while I was having a moment of big overstimulation when we were at a concert, because I physically could not communicate (sometimes that freeze mode really takes hold) and he was trying to get me to leave, as his way of 'fixing' the situation. I at least shook my head no, because I was waiting on the band I wanted to see play, I just couldn’t physically vocalize. I was definitely very tense and was dealing with a lot of ticks, which isn’t normally how I get, but I was trying to handle it on my own, using tapping techniques and things. He got angry that I didn’t do as he wanted and that I didn’t vocalize a response, 'it’s not that hard when someone asks a question for you to answer.'"

"We’ve been together for 7 years and have gone through a roller coaster of changes/self development. But I exploded once I ended up giving in to his wants and leaving the venue."

"I don’t feel supported or listened to or validated, ever. Everything outside of his mindset doesn’t matter to him so why bother discussing anything."

"I hate it here."

– Virtual-Moment-9132

As if first dates weren't already nerve-wracking.

Dating Nature Boy

"The guy would ONLY go on dates in the woods at night. I’m not even kidding. I’d suggest a movie night or a restaurant I wanted to try but it was shut down immediately because he only did dates in the woods. Worst part is I went on 3 of them before I cut him off."

– PixelatedBats

Flashing Warning Sign

"I made out with a guy on a party. He told me 'I have to warn you: I'm really an a**hole.' I was pretty taken aback, then thanked him for the warning and avoided him for the rest of the night."

– skanus_cepelinai

Having Strict Parents

"She asked her mother for permission to eat meat. A 30 year old with a full time job."

– yumsilly

"I had a coworker who had a family tracking app on her phone, but it was her parents tracking her. She was 25."

"She thought it was normal or not a big deal. Her mom would flip out if she did something like go shopping at lunch or spend too much time at the gym."

"Apparently, her mom was super paranoid she was secretly dating 'inferior' men and not the ones she was trying to set up for her daughter."

– ohlookahipster

Year ago I met a guy who was super sweet at work, and there seemed to be a mutual attraction.

However, I didn't jump to pursue anything with him, especially after I found out through a mutual friend that we had conflicting interests.

He was into Nazi uniforms and paraphernalia.

I gradually started disassociating with him because I didn't need that in my life.

It just goes to show, you never really know about a person, even if everything else seems perfect about him.