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People Explain Which Gender-Based Double Standards Annoy Them The Most

For all the strides made toward gender equality so far, we've got plenty of work to do. Pay is still uneven, male privilege is as alive as ever, and socially constructed expectations force us to act in certain ways to cater to it all.


And those are just the big things. What about the more mundane illustrations of gender-based expectations?

These day-to-day battles, on their own, aren't the end of the world. But they are indicative of a the much larger problem.

And as small as they are, they're annoying as hell.

Tekstar12348 asked, "What gender double standard really annoys you?"

Cars and Dudes

"I grew up overseas, in a country that doesn't really encourage personal vehicles. We have a lot of public transport. As a result, my mechanical knowledge is extremely poor. My white girlfriend, who grew up in the sticks, and who's dad is a mechanic, has tinkered with cars all her life."

"Every time we walk to an auto parts store to get stuff, the employees never talk to her. Even if they ask me a question and she replies, they continue acting as if she doesn't exist and keep talking to me. It's unreal. It's as if they don't see her."

"She's gone to job interviews for mechanical jobs where the interviewer asks her very basic and belittling questions because they don't believe she can understand mechanical stuff."

"Meanwhile up until last year when I met her I didn't know what a ratchet was..."

-- temporarilyexemplary

Forced to Second-Guess Cuteness

"As a guy, I feel like if I am around kids, or smile because I see a youngster having fun in the park or something I'm labelled as a potential threat, but really I just love to see kids being kids and I'm thinking back on the days when I was that age." -- heavydirtysteve

Dysfunctional Pants

"Pockets. I want em." -- SnowWhiteCampCat

"But then the purse selling buisness has to shut down." -- zender23

"I'm a woman and this is a problem for me too. Yes, pockets exist, but they're so shallow that nothing fits. I have small hands but they barely fit into some of these pockets. You can barely fit your car keys in one of them, let alone your phone."

"Heck with 'fashion,' I want deep pockets in my pants dang it." -- Thy_Name_Is_Anxiety

Know the Uniform, Gents

"I can dress in typical men's clothes all day every day, never wear makeup, cut my hair short and never get my gender or sexual orientation questioned but my husband gets comments to his gender identity and orientation for wearing a pink shirt to his suit?"

"F*** right off with that."

-- horilen

Taking Their Places

"Maybe this is more prevalent among people of my culture (Mexicans) but I remember when I was little we were done eating dinner at my aunt's house and all the women and girls got to cleaning while the men sat in living room watching TV."

"When I asked my mom about it she and my aunt just laughed, giving me an 'Oh you dumb little girl' look. Pisses me off to think about it to this day."

-- Cinnamun-Roll

For the Sake of the Children, This One has to Go

"When my wife is taking care of our kids she is 'parenting' but when I, their father, takes care of them I am 'babysitting.' "

"I hate when her lady friends say, 'Oh you are such a good dad, babysitting your kids.' "

"Bi***, I am parenting my kids."

-- Anxious_Try

A Lot of Extra Work

"The expectation and pressure to wear makeup in a professional setting." -- Snapysnapsnapper

"And heels! They're part of dress code sometimes, which is bonkers. That stuff gives you back problems if you're not careful. I love heels on occasion but as part of a dress code? Ridiculous." -- Dirmanavich

Pent Up Men

"This may be very culture dependent, but the way women are allowed to express their feelings freely, to cry."

"However men should be tough and suck it up. I think this is very toxic to the mental health of men." -- MrMeszaros

"Men who are not shy of sharing their emotions and are understanding of women's emotion are weak" -- adnanoid

Perpetuating the Household Roles

"Why do yogurt commercials never feature men? I like yogurt too goddammit" -- hairweed

"Men are usually portrayed as dumb, forgetful buffoons in commercials too. I find that to be super annoying too." -- FanaticDamen

"yeah it just hurts everybody, 'haha he cant do simple stuff, so mom does everything! she likes lavender and so will you!' " -- -Hannah-Glasse

Salesperson Presumptions 

"Going into a store that is considered "male" (PC store, video game store, car shops, etc). and the sales person only talking to my male partner despite me being the person looking for a product and being the buyer."

-- Goblin_Kat

Bodies to Celebrate

"How my daughter can do gymnastics and she's called athletic, but as soon as her twin brother does gymnastics, he's just weird" -- im-so-funny-im-not

"Hear, hear! Gymnasts are capable of bodily feats most people aren't. They're all awesome equally." -- I_Ace_English

"lol male gymnasts are second only to bodybuilders when it comes to how ridiculously shredded they are. You're right though." -- The_Blue_Rooster

The Privilege to Not Think About It

"When I was a teenager, I was not allowed out of the house to walk to the local shopping center to hang with my friends (all male). My mom told me it was because I'm a girl and I'm way more likely to be attacked on my way and if I was a boy it'd be different."

"In general since I was 12 up to now, when walking alone in public I was very frequently harassed and I'm not sure if the same thing happens to men."

-- MachokeOnThis

Playing the Role

"Threatening your daughter's boyfriend."

"This is a double standard, but it's also just a Hollywood trope that some dads think they're supposed to do and it's incredibly creepy."

"When I was in high school at least a couple dads would say things like 'just remember I know how to shoot' and 'if you break her heart I'll break you' etc."

"Sometimes it's just dads thinking they're cute when they do this but I've received at least one legitimate threat by a dad thinking he was doing his dad duty."

"Keep in mind that as a teenager I was very small and not at all in the "bad boys" clique, but if you are actually worried about your daughter's boyfriend harming her, then don't let her date them. Don't just blanket threaten a bunch of minors."

-- king063

More Impressive for Doing the Same Work

"I am a female teacher. I only know one man who is a kindergarten teacher, and people constantly make comments to him about how 'women must love it that he is so good with kids' and he will be a great dad. As if he is only in the job to impress women?"

"Nobody says this sh** to me."

-- cistacea

Human Contact is GOOD

"I wish it were socially acceptable for guys to hug/hold hands like girls do" -- Infinite-LED-Life1

"You need a hug, bro?" -- fungeoneer

"I hug the f*** outta my bros. I tell them I love them all the time. Hate that toxic stoicism sh**." -- umbralwalk

Let it Grow

" 'shaving is for hygene!!!' comments on women's body hair from men who are often literaty covered in fur." -- zzzojka

"I used to have this job where you'd basically live in the bush for 4 months. Gender ratios were about 60-40. Considering it was a bush job, it was a really good ratio in my opinion. Being so far from 'civilized' society most people eventually let loose and was ok with the lower hygiene standards."

"I always felt weird going back to society and seeing so many hairless people."

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Things That Were Way More Expensive Than People Anticipated

"Reddit user Jarvis_Strife asked: 'What turned out to be A LOT more expensive than you anticipated?'"

It feels like everything under the sun is expensive these days.

So maybe when we look at price tags, we're just having a little financial PTSD.

Some items and services that were once doable have turned into a years-long savings plan.

Like where do the cable and internet people get these price points?

Especially for their "services."

Please.

Keep reading...Show less
ramen in white bowl

Mae Mu on Unsplash

For many people, the difference between being housed and unhoused is a single paycheck.

For some it's a matter of money management, but for most it's the lack of a living wage for many jobs. Add a poor social safety net and poverty is always a footstep away.

Let's face it—many people have lived with a zero balance in their bank account and bills to pay and empty cupboards.

Keep reading...Show less

With the elaborate costs of the wedding industry, starting with the engagement ring and going all the way up through the honeymoon and anniversary plans, there are those who will spend all the money and those who will look for savings.

While getting married is absolutely worth spending the money on, how much money is spent is not necessarily reflected of how much the two people love each other, either. It's all up to the couple!

Redditor ClassicJogging asked:

"Married people of Reddit, what made you decide to get the engagement ring you did, and how much was it?"

A Special Bond

"My grandmother pulled me aside five minutes after meeting my now wife, then girlfriend, for the first time, that she really loved her and she would fit right into our family. They had a REALLY good bond for a couple of years before my grandmother passed."

"Her last wish was that I use her engagement ring from 1945 (my grandfather proposed the day the Germans left Norway) when I asked for marriage. I did, she said yes, and we have been happily married for a good few years now."

- Panzerpython

Perfectly Vintage

"I was asked if I wanted a ring... and I surprised myself by saying that I did even though I'm not a jewelry person."

"So we went shopping and I hated all the jewelry store rings. We decided to check out antique stores and we found a cool-looking '50s vintage diamond ring with an illusion setting (makes tiny stone look bigger). It fit. It was $300. It was perfect."

- RitaTome

Recreated Art

"I love vintage rings, specifically art deco style, and had a whole Pinterest board of ones I loved. But it turns out I have giant fingers and most vintage rings are much smaller. Yes, you can size up, but only by so much."

"So my now husband surprised me by getting a ring custom-made in the same style. I adore it and get so many compliments."

- angeliqu

A Last Wish

"My mother was dying of cancer and gave me her engagement ring to give to my wife. It was a low-profile diamond from 1965. I think my father paid $275 for it at Eaton’s."

"We just celebrated our 25th last week. She still wears it daily."

- JustsomeAudioGuy

Full of Memories

"$140, I wanted a more expensive ring for her, but she insisted that I use that money for the wedding."

"I ended up going with a silver ring that looks like the branches of a tree, it has one large amethyst in the middle and two smaller ones in the branches to the side."

"When I saw it, it immediately reminded me of the date we went on when I realized I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her."

"We got up early to go to an orchard that was a little while away, the whole ride, she was talking about how frustrated she was with work and I was so happy to be listening to her talk and to spend time with her. We spent all day at the orchard, we got lunch at the farmer's market, went on a hayride, went to a petting zoo, and we picked pumpkins then picked apples as the sun was just starting to get low."

"From there, we went a haunted trail on a ski trail that took us up the hill in a ski lift and we had to walk down. As we went up the hill, we got the most amazing view of the sunset and I knew had found my better half, because I couldn't even imagine anyone else that I would want to watch the sunset with."

- TabbyCabby

Because Science

"My wife is a chemist and agronomist. She was working on her master's in agronomy and part of her thesis project had to do with cobalt and molybdenum."

"So I got her a cobalt chrome engagement ring (which happens to also be 6% molybdenum). For the stone, I went with a manufactured sapphire, because science."

"She absolutely loves it. Cost me less than $300."

- surdophobe

Substantial Savings

"I worked for the jeweler store. I had about a steep discount. I chose five options and let him pick from there since I had to technically buy it. He picked my favorite."

"It is a one-carat ruby set in rose gold, and I love it. Retail it would be around $5000, but for me, it was $900."

"I wanted a ruby as I did not want a diamond, and I am a big history buff."

- Nancy2121

A Good Listener

"My Fiancé remembered that in Freshman year of college, I mentioned I would only take a lab diamond (clear or black), and my dream ring had a specific gemstone on either side of the main stone."

"Fall 2018 to December 2022 and he remembered every detail. From one conversation. He is a blessing and I love my ring."

- Trumpet6789

Post-Engagement Ring

"I couldn’t afford an engagement ring when we got married. It’s been a few years and now I can, so I’m working on a custom ring with a local jeweler we’ve worked with a bunch already. The concept is a subtle subversion of traditional engagement ring tropes and will cost around a grand USD."

- DeepFriedApples

Groceries > Rings

"She gave me pictures of a few rings she wanted. All sapphires, no diamonds. I got one of those for $120. Probably worth in the $200 range today."

"She specifically did not want the 'two months' salary' standard. She would refuse a ring that was expensive enough that somebody would be willing to cut off her hand in order to steal it."

- CaptainTime5556

Important Family Heirlooms

"It was my grandmother's and it was awesome and it was free and she loved it."

- Knute5

"Grandma's club checking in. I was having sort of a deep philosophical moment with this question about how I guess it technically cost me my grandma. But then I had a burrito."

- Hammand

Worth the Pricetag

"Love the shaming on this thread for anyone who spent more than $24.99 on a ring."

"$18k because it’s the only expensive thing she’s ever asked me for and it makes her happy every single day. One year interest-free financing softened the financial blow considerably."

"To each their own! Don’t shame people for spending their money how they choose on the ones they love!"

- Son_Of_A_Plumber

Yay for Pinterest Boards

"My wife had a bunch of floral style rings on her Pinterest page, so I went and got one custom designed from a local jeweler."

"They suggested Moissanite (synthetic diamond) to keep costs down and appearance up. I got three times the stone for half the price of a real diamond. Well worth it. Total ran about 3k for the engagement ring."

- bighairyyak

Everybody's Happy

"I chose the shape of the stone, he chose the actual diamond (size, quality, etc), and then we went shopping together to choose the setting."

"It was a lovely experience! I got a ring I love which I will wear forever and he got to control the situation and feel comfortable with a large component of the cost to keep within his budget."

- jvldmn

Très Relatable

"My wife liked it. 15k."

- BabyTunnel

"All the top voted answers are just cheap rings or inheritance. So I am glad someone posted something else. Although maybe there is something below but Reddit might just upvote certain answers more."

- Additional_Meeting_2

"Dude. Finally a comment in here I can relate to."

"My wife liked it. 12k."

"No hate to the lab-grown, or the many blue and yellow special stones in this thread. But d**n, it makes it sound like the norm! In my experience and my friends' circles…. It’s just diamonds from the jewelry store lol (laughing out loud)."

- howmanywhales

This thread was a great example of "to each their own." Where some will want an expensive ring, others will want something incredibly simple, just like some will want an extravagant wedding whereas others will want to go to the courthouse and have a nice dinner after.

These decisions don't make one couple or one marriage or one love better than the other. They simply reflect that they're different partnerships, and as long as both people are happy, who cares how anyone else would handle it?

People sharing pizza
Klara Kulikova/Unsplash

When it comes to culinary mashups, nothing is as delectably perfect as a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. Chocolate and peanut butter in one bite? Heavenly.

Other food combos are not as popular but have a strong contingent of fans like pineapple on pizza or even peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

And then there are ones that are simply inexcusable.

Curious to hear examples of what foodies absolutely consider tastey bites, Redditor Shozo459 asked:

"What’s the worst food sin you can imagine?"

Trust the preparation.

That Is Soy Not Funny

"ketchup on sushi."

– BattleCatManic

I do believe you'd get your a** kicked for doing that."

– Mattress_Of_Needles

No Sauce Required

"Reminds me of this random sushi joint in osaka. Every pc had the wasabi inserted already. If the piece doesnt have a sauce (like eel), then its premarinated or salted. For normal fish, the chef brushes it with some kind of soy sauce blend."

"He reminded me that soy sauce would not be necessary almost every time he put a new piece on my plate. I asked what the soy sauce bottle is for then and he just shrugged."

"And we're talking about soy sauce not even ketchup."

– gabu87

Tough Meat

"Ok, not sushi, but. (I heard this from my kid....) My ex remarried to a southern woman who fancies herself to be a southern Belle. Instead, she's more of a Momma June. My ex cooked steaks for dinner one night. He will cook meat so it is BROWN straight through. Don't think about asking for it any way, but WELL DONE. In his world, any PINK in the beef means it's nearly raw.😳 So he cooked steaks for them. The wife starts eating and exclaims, 'This steak is soooo good it doesn't even need ketchup' My kid described the meat as being extremely tough and tasteless."

– stalagit68

That's just rude.

Expired Offer

"Eating my fries after I've asked you if you want me to buy you some."

– iggylevin

"So you've met my ex-wife? 'I'm fine' is a small fry and milkshake or frostee. And yes, she should use her words , but she won't, so you can choose to be right or to not have to sleep on the couch over fries and a milkshake."

– Jimmy_Twotone

Chili & Cinnamon

"Although it's not the worst sin imaginable, there's a weird regional dish where i live that involves pairing a bowl of chili with a cinnamon roll. Every potluck I've been to here has it. It's not for me but it's definitely unique."

– MayorOfVenice

Citrus Sin

"Orange juice flavored toothpaste and toothpaste flavored orange juice."

– shhjustwatch

"I gargle with orange juice after i brush my teeth. Power move. Show that plaque who's boss."

– MayorOfVenice

Who does that?

Gimme Some Skin

"Eating the skin off of someone else's fried chicken."

– Upbeat_Tension_8077

"I had a bucket of leftover KFC in the fridge, and my ex SIL came over to my house while I was at work and ate all of the skin off the chicken. I was f'kin pissed."

"Then, on New Years, a few years later, her aunt wanted to make mole and split the cost. I was like whatever and pitched in. I had things to do and got home after it was done. Those f'kin b*tcheses had ate the all of the skin off every piece of chicken."

"I'm so glad I'm not a part of that POS family anymore. If I am ever victimized by chicken skin theft ever again I am going to throw that skinless piece of chicken at them as hard as I can at point blank range and I'm going to aim for their mouth."

– anon

Condiment For All

"Squeezing ketchup on top of a communal plate of fries."

– OverlappingChatter

"I had a boyfriend who would take all of his fries and all of my fries at McDonald’s, put them on the tray and squirt ketchup on top. This infuriated me in part because then the fries got cold so much faster."

– loritree

Wasting food is a cardinal sin.

Grocery Stores At The End Of The Day

"Grocery stores/suppliers throwing out perfectly good food when we there are people starving."

"There is a 2009 doc called 'Dive' that talks about how much grocery stores waste. Edit: (I'm sure there are many others but this is the one that made me aware of the issue)"

– moosegoose2222

"My husband did the samples at Sam's club for awhile and when they did alcohol samples they were told to bust/break the glass bottles into the food that was leftover and to be disposed in the dumpster...so first throw the food in, then break the glass bottles on top when throwing in dumpster."

– Swivel_D

Kevin Sucks

"I worked at a major big box grocery/everything else store for a short time. The a**hole store director was the kind of guy who would make one of the grocery guys get put the floor zamboni on SATURDAY AFTERNOONS to clean up footprints down the aisles when it snowed outside. Of course, it pissed people off."

"The worst thing he'd do, however, was demand that the bakery and Deli have their cases overstocked to 'Grand Opening' standards every f'king day. Of course, only half sold, and the leftovers were not marked down (he hated doing anything like that for damaged boxes or cans because he said it attracted 'poor people'). Instead, it all went into the dumpster at the end of the night. It was usually a half dozen cakes, a dozen loaves of bread, and often 15 - 20 rotisserie chickens. No, employees were not allowed to take home any of it. Oh, and he was openly racist and tried to get a disabled employee fired because he didn't like disabled people working with the public."

"I rage quit that job one day, two weeks before Christmas. I found out shortly after I left that the store director was diagnosed with Parkinsons."

"Rot in hell, Kevin."

– WhitePineBurning

My gripe is more about dining protocol than actual food.

I'm pretty much allergic to alcohol and aside from having the occasional glass of wine, I don't drink often when I go out.

I don't think it's fair when I'm out with a small group of people who each order more than two cocktails and I'm forced to split the bill evenly as the lone non-drinker in the group.

I get it, it's a hassle figuring out the bill to accommodate for me, but I don't mind sorting it out as there are apps to make this easy.

I think it's classy when other members of the group point out that they should chip in more for the bill so I don't have to pay my full share.

But I also hate having to speak up and say, "Umm, can you guys pay for your own drinks since I didn't order any?"

I'm screwed either way since I sound like a loser when I do voice my request or I get passive aggressive afterward for not speaking up.

Anyone know a good solution on how to deal with this?