People's love stories and intimate relationships is first and foremost... "Nobody else's business!" They are however constantly fascinating. How two people or.. three or... four make it work is a miracle. It's difficult accepting yourself and in this current climate in life it's often terrifying to be public about it. So people will hide themselves and try to 'make it work' in a relationship that is probably doomed.
Redditor pbntm wanted to discuss the inner workings of mixed marriage; mixed being...
Maybe next year.
"I'm not sure if I'm really 100% gay, but over time I just kind of lost interest in men. It wasn't always like that. When I first met my husband, we had plenty of sex. No orgasm for me but I remember enjoying it. But like a lot of relationships, the passion faded. After a decade or so I realized that non only did I no longer desire my husband, my fantasy material had changed."
"If I see a pretty woman on the street, it turns my head and makes my heart flutter. If I see an attractive man, I'm curious about his diet and exercise routine. I regularly develop strong, painful crushes on the women around me. I've never been romantically interested in a man other than my husband, ever. All in all, I think I'm at least mostly gay."
"As for our marriage, he knows. We've discussed it at length. We still love each other and are compatible in every other way, so we're staying together. Over a year ago, we agreed I could date women outside of the marriage, but dating is hard and scary and takes time and energy, and I haven't had any. Maybe next year."6079_WSmith
"I grew up in religion and I just had no idea that I was queer. We were already married several years before I realized it. I honestly didn't know you could be homosexual. I had been taught that was a fake thing. I thought the way that I thought about women was how everybody thought."
"I am in pain a lot of the time about it but my husband is absolutely wonderful, and we have an amazing life together, so I choose to do nothing about it."sweetcarolinekisses
For the Coin.
"Did it just for the money. Wife is gay and her parents are wealthy, conservative. All of her sisters already married even though she is the oldest. She wanted a sham marriage to get her parents off of her back and I wanted $200,000 plus the lifestyle of my choice while I'm with her."
"We have a sham shared bedroom for when the in-laws are over but normally I sleep in the office where the gaming PC is and she sleeps in the master bedroom. I can't have girls over, but I am free to do whatever I want in my free time. She has had women over sometimes and she explains to them that I'm her gay roommate/personal trainer."
"What's the end-game here? I never want to get married anyway, but if I want to start a family within the next 5 years I will have to pay back the 200k, with interest. I've already tripled this money though so that's fine."
"Her end-game if I leave? I don't know, but I'll assume she can just tell them that I was unfaithful too many times. The in-laws ask about children, but we keep putting off the conversation."InclusivePhitness
Just Rub it Away.....
"I know an LDS couple where the man is gay and the woman is lesbian. Openly. He blogs about it. But because according to their faith it's wrong, they got married and had children. It was almost like it was a "program" of the church - connecting homosexuals of different genders in order to ensure they quell their "urges". In his blogs he talks about her more like she's a good friend and companion, but there's clearly no Eros there, no spark that glues them in that way."
"On the one hand, it's sad. On the other hand, who the heck am I to judge how people who have different values than I do live their lives? It's weird to me, but it seems to work for them as far as it goes."
"Still tho, I wish dude could just rub up on another dude and be happy."RogueModron
"My Aunt was gay but just kind of denied it for years. She eventually married a man who was basically her best friend and just kind of pretended to be happy with it. She eventually gave birth to her only son (my cousin), but a few years after that she finally came to her own realization that she just wasn't happy pretending she was straight. She came out to her husband at the time about how no matter how much she tried to be attracted to him and love him as a husband, it hurt her inside to do it. And he was... surprisingly accepting of it all things considering."
"He had apparently picked up that she seemed to be in distress whenever they would try to make things work, and for awhile he had blamed himself for it and thought it was his fault for putting her through that pain. So in reality he was somewhat relieved. They both mutually agreed to separate, and were divorced. Both found new partners, they remained great friends, and my cousin lived a pretty balanced life despite having to jump between 2 houses from time to time."C3POH66
"When i was younger i "dated" an older married man for cash, i felt awful doing it but i did what i had to."
"Hearing about his family made me sick. He claimed he would never leave his wife because of their son's health problems, I'm not sure what they were exactly was the issue, but the son was older than me and still living at home."
"I begged him a few times to leave his wife, not for me, but for her, i truly believed he needed to be honest with her, this man had been unfaithful since the day the met. He constantly remarked if she would just die it would solve all his issue, hearing this would make my skin crawl." Sister_rayon
The Wool Puller....
"My dad was gay. He got married for status and propriety, and basically told me as much later in his life. He effectively pulled the wool over my mom's eyes until after my older brother was born. I guess I should be glad they still had me, even though I'm certain she knew by that point."
"I recently found a couple of letters that my mom had sent him during these years. She was absolutely miserable and remained depressed through the remainder of her life."
"He was honestly a lousy dad, and things weren't really much different when he finally jumped ship in my teens. I realize much of his anger and emotional distance may have had its roots in a self-loathing born of a deeply homophobic era. That doesn't change the fact that he basically ruined my mom's life in order to project a desirable social image."
"So to answer the question, it didn't work out so hot."gertalives
"From what I remember of my ex-best-friend, both of his parents were gay and after moving from their country that was pretty against their skin color (and sexuality we later learnt) later divorced and have their own same sex partners now."Black369Ace
The Needed Truth...
"My spouse didn't admit to themselves that they were trans until five years into our marriage and so they didn't feel the "need" to inform me that from their perspective they were a gay male whereas from my perspective they were a straight female."
"So the short of it is that they lied to themselves and me for all that time, even going so far as to omit other former relationships from their "full" list that would have clued me into the truth of the matter."
"The truth came out when it was time to have kids and they couldn't go through with it even though it was a pretty big intention we both expressed before marriage."lightknight7777
"My parents expect me to marry a girl. The impending crap show that will occur when I come out (22 rn, I have no idea when it'll happen) is not something I'm looking forward to."Riko-Sama
"I know a gay person here in Africa who is married. His culture expects it and so he has gone along with it. Even has a kid--it's his for sure because they look like twins. Nonetheless he identifies as gay, not bi. He is very effeminate and it's more like an open secret that he's gay. But since marriage in his culture is more about a social arrangement rather than love it's not a big deal."
"He has a very good job and she wants to be a housewife and so I guess she is ok with the situation. It is kind of funny to me when all his gay friends are over visiting him and his wife is there."
"Does she know about him and his friends? I asked him once and he said she doesn't know anything, but I asked one of his gay friends and he said she knows everything."ontrack
Don't Ask, Don't Tell...
"Not me but my uncle. Married his wife as an alibi. She was a young single mom with a daughter. So she got a man who raised her daughter and my uncle got a family so no one asked questions. A few years ago they broke up, but stayed married and still are best friends. When he finally came out to everyone a few years ago a part of our family cut him and everyone who supported him off. But he's happy now with his lovely boyfriend and he enjoys finally being able to be himself."
"I talked to my aunt about it and she said, she didn't know from the beginning and really loved him, but always had a feeling. She's still in love with him but she knows it's not his fault and he was the greatest husband and father and he's still her best friend."SaschaCawa
Love you mom...
"Not a first person experience, but my buddy in high school's mom was gay. She had extremely homophobic parents and denied that she was gay the majority of her life. She married and had kids, don't ask me how that worked out. They divorced eventually and both remarried, now he has 4 parents."TH4TS4M4ZING
Gay or straight... be kind!
"Not me but my dad. He came out last year, I'm now 25 and have three sisters. Our childhood was pretty good, didn't really have any idea until he came out to us all. He tells us he's always known."
"When he came out I was the only one that really accepted him, my family was quite religious at the time. He left my sick mother and moved to the other side of the country to be with a new boyfriend. Now they want to move into the house he and my mother built together."
"Now, none of my sisters talk to him. Slowly I keep getting more and more information about what was going on throughout my childhood. Reports of cheating and huge amounts of crippling debt are making their way to me and making me rethink my childhood. Part of me feel that I don't really know the man who is my father. I still love him but this secret he has had to carry around for my whole life seems to have caused him to make choices that have hurt our family."
"Not really the best."jazzvibe
"Had an uncle in this position."
"He was legitimately in love with his wife (they were high school sweethearts) and they had four kids, he just wasn't sexually attracted to her. Eventually he cheated, caught a serious STI and at that point came clean. They divorced."
"It was a bad situation for everyone involved in the end."sirgog
Carry on girl!
"I am South African. My family is very religious and homophobic. They will literally rather die than have LBGTQ daughter. I am in a secret relationship with a girl. They think she is my roommate/ best friend. So we are able to get away with it. I know a closet gay African guy in my situation and he is willing to marry me as a cover up for both of us. However, my girlfriend does not agree and will not allow it. So stressful and depressing."
"I woke up to all these amazing messages , thank you so much for your help. And Encouraging words. Working on permanently moving to Another country. I have been traveling out of South Africa multiple times with short stay visas. Working on getting permanent residency. Thank you all for the kind messages. ❤️💚"ibabaka
Therapy is fun!
"My ex came out after 8 years of marriage and 2 kids. He sexuality was deeply suppressed due to her upbringing and was only uncovered while in therapy for other issues. 10 years later, I'm happily remarried, the kids are doing well, and she is in a same sex relationship."Canucklehead_Esq
In & Outed!
"I'm a lesbian from a religious and conservative area/family that heavily considered doing this as a teenager."
"However, my good friend (who is also gay, and in the closet) had a really hard time when his father came out as gay. He had been having an affair with a man for awhile and it just broke his mom's heart. She was very upset, and rightfully so... not only about the affair but that her whole marriage and relationship was a lie. My friend was upset by this too, and ended up coming out because he didn't want to do this to anyone. I decided soon after I'd never marry someone I didn't love, because it wouldn't be fair to them."
"Ended up coming out in my mid-20s and my family was super accepting and I currently have a gorgeous, intelligent and very patient fiancée my family adores."
"I have strong feelings about this... I understand the pressure to conform and the fear of being "outed" but you have to consider the other person as well."Icarus_Dee
4 is the best #!
"This used to be so commonplace that Southern grannies of my Nana's generation even had a word for it. A 'white marriage' was when one or more homosexual people got married in what looked like a hetero union, but the actual situation was based on a deep friendship. One might see a lesbian lady and a gay gentleman pairing off to keep up appearances, a straight lady and a gay gent, a pair of asexuals, or any combination. And so long as they were happy and kept any drama to themselves, it wasn't a problem."
"Of course, there was also such a thing as 'practically double twins' or a 'merry foursome' which in Nana's generation's slang was when a pair of white marriages were clearly just the best of couple friends, did everything together, and everyone in town would sort of smile at what close friends these two obviously straight couples must be. Certainly not two gay men and two lesbians. Definitely not. Right."
"And the whole town just kind of went along with that, because friends are adorable and couples are adorable and happy families were so rare in the Flannery O'Connor-esque Southern Gothic horrorshow that was life back then, a slight suspicion here or there wasn't really that big a deal. Apparently Nana's childhood best friend's grandparents were a merry foursome whose respective kids had paired off after the one returned from boarding school, and the whole family was very happy. Their family is still friends with ours."spiderqueendemon
"Dare I say.... bi-accident." Morwen_Kalir
"This is the only correct answer. I love it!"I_try_and_fail
Sorry for your loss...
"My husband came out as gay last month and now we are getting a divorce after being with each other for 17 years married for 2 i met him in the 4th grade as a friend and we evolved from there... he said he can't be with me anymore and although I am doing better I am absolutely still devastated any of this is happening." BBQpringles
"I'm super late, but I'm a straight Male married to a gay woman. Sexuality is definitely a spectrum. If super straight was 1, and super gay was 10, she cruises at about a 9. She identifies as Pan, but definitely favors innies."
"She's had more girlfriends than me. She was married previously to a man. When she decided to leave him, she had pretty much given up on guys. We were really good friends. The kind of deep personal bond that you get with someone, where even if you've only known them for months, it feels like years. We are on the same "wavelength" on some many things. Eventually we stopped pretending like there was no sexual chemistry between us and started dating. Married a few years later."
"We have a very healthy sexual relationship. Some might call it alternative. I understand she has desires that I, as a man, can't fulfill. I have no problem with her fulfilling those desires with others. There is no such thing as a perfect relationship. But with love, understanding, a strong friendship as a base, and compassion, we make it through."ShortyLow
No sex please...
"Not married but been together for 3 years. We met through a mutual friend. He's always known I'm gay. We had 3 months was an extremely, extremely emotionally intense friendship. He's the nicest person I've ever made and the person I wish I was. Could not adore him more. Still can't."
"Then we started hanging out one-on-one constantly. I knew I completely 100% loved him emotionally and wanted to see if I could make it work. I was always the one who suggested and initiated everything. He was always hesitant because he knew I was gay and needed to feel sure it's what I wanted. Plus he had never done anything before- not even kissing. All of the firsts were fun and exciting because it was he was so happy and amazed and thankful."
"And then 3 years whizzed by. Still not "out" to friends and family about it, though at this point they pretty much know. It's working out as good as possible. We're technically poly, but I've made no efforts to date other woman recently because of my depression. We've had an active poly relationship in the past which me and him handled decently well."
"Our emotional connection is fantastic. We were soul mates in the first couple months of knowing each other, and that hasn't changed at all. He's thoughtful, intelligent, hardworking, dependable, sensitive, kind, witty, adorable: he embodies every value I care about and is the best friend you could ever have."
"Plus sex isn't the worst thing ever. I'm indifferent and "bleh" more so than disgusted or traumatized. Feels like I'm just doing my best friend a weird, mildly gross favor that makes them far more happy than it makes me feel icky. Penetrative is the one thing that really fucks me up because of the physical pain, so it's very rare and I'm always the one to initiate it. In general I get a lot emotionally out of pleasing him. We both get a lot out of making the other person happy."
"But that only goes so far. I know I'm not sexually satisfied and it's not enough for me to just have this one relationship forever. I've told him that and he knows. He's always known. We're just enjoying it for what it is as long as it makes us both happy. I think that's as much as you can ask for in any relationship. Or just in life, really."Geigas
Pray it away...
"Child of a gay man who married a woman to be a good Christian here."
"He left my mom with two kids to have a string of partners, eventually marrying a millionaire. He lives with his husband in an actual mansion while his ex wife and children live in a tiny house that we can't afford/repair. Holes in the siding, leaky pipes and roof, dilapidated wooden monstrosity that used to be a deck, family of squirrels in the attic we can't get rid of, etc."
"He at least texts me sometimes, so that's nice. I love the guy, but he's responsible for a whole lot of pain and misery. Don't start a family to stay in the closet. It isn't your life you'll f**k up, it's theirs. I mean i'm glad I exist, but I don't like being a chapter in my dad's life that he would clearly rather forget."saltinstien
Thank you Josh...
"For anyone interested in this, there is a very long running blog by Josh Weed about doing this for fifteen years. He is LDS and recently came to the conclusion that they shouldn't have been proponents of this, people were hurt due to their example, and are getting amicably divorced so they can live their lives to the fullest. It's a good read."Maebyfunke37
Duck and cover...
"Not me but my Uncle in Law, had homophobic parents. Married his best friend, a lesbian with homophobic parents. Their marriage was the perfect cover, they claimed they were infertile (tbh i doubt they even tried to see) and instead adopted three kids and raised them. They secretly dated what others just thought were there best friends. Once both sets of parents had died they told a few close friends and family but they stayed married and still live together etc."lucozadeprincess
You can't hide forever...
"My old boss is gay. He had two kids with his ex-wife and until the kids were about 2 and 3 he finally couldn't hide his true sexuality from his wife. Apparently he told her the truth and how he still loved her a lot and how he loves his kids and wants to make it work."
"She let him talk and he knew she would listen. What he didn't know was how CRAZY homophobic she was. She went mental and took his kids to the United States, stole his money and sent him divorce papers in the mail like the next week basically. He signed the papers because she promised he'd see his kids every other week and she'd send him back half of the money she took but she needed it right away because she couldn't bear to be near him. You can imagine how this played out."
"As far as I know he's still trying to see his kids more than once a year and because she's in another country it falls on really messed up rules plus she keeps avoiding the cops. Apparently she just randomly shows up once a year at his house at random times of day on a day he would least expect it so she can avoid the police here and he has no idea of her whereabouts at any time. It's messed up I feel really bad for the guy."
"It's been years since I talked to him last so I don't 100% know how he is now but like I said I hear he's still fighting for his kids who are now in their late teens and seen their father a handful of times since she bolted. From what I hear him and his boyfriend have been together for a while now and are having talks about getting married so I hope everything works out for him."MilitaryFish
Make it work...
"My dad came out when I was in middle school. He and my mom are still really good friends, and they probably talk everyday. Instead of divorcing, they stayed together - although separated - for financial reasons until I went away for college. My mom and I lived on the 3rd floor of an apartment building, and my dad on the 1st. I'd alternate dinner nights with the two of them. We still spent most holidays together. Although now, my mom lives with her new husband. Both are very happy, and I don't think there are any regrets."DickVitalis
"[MARRIED A LADY] We lived together for 3 years as really good friends and we divorced and she went on to marry a close friend of mine and i am in a long term gay thang so it all worked out great!"samuelma
Happily Ever After...
"Me. As a scared Mormon boy, I told myself growing up that the only person who could decide if I was gay was me and so I decided I wasn't and swore never to tell another soul. Got my first girlfriend in my late 20s and married her, had kids, etc."
"I was all in and congratulating myself for doing the right thing and making it work until my wife decided it wasn't working. She is now engaged to her girlfriend." Nowayucan
This was a very interesting and enlightening read!
Do you have similar experiences to share? Let us know in the comments below.
We often look back on our teenage years with mixed emotions.
Our final years where we could enjoy our youth, and live largely without responsibility and just enjoy being a child and all that came with it.
Of course, we might also look back on things we did as teenagers which we are less than proud of today.
Or things we wish someone had told us, so that we may have avoided falling into those unhappy situations.
Redditor notViperX was curious to hear all the things people believed every modern teenager needs to know, leading them to ask:
"Adults of Reddit, what is something every Teenager needs to know?"
No Means No!
"It's ok to say no to anyone."
"Don't let anyone in your life guilt trip you into doing something you don't want to do or are uncomfortable with."- Purpleraven01
What Constitutes Being "Cool" Is Debatable...
"It's exactly as lame to not do something you want to do because it's too mainstream or popular as it is to do something only because it's cool and the cool kids are doing it."- itsacalamity
Pay Attention in Gym And Spanish Class!
"Learn a second language."
"It's good for your brain, and it's a lot easier when you're young."
"Get active and fit; make it a habit."
"This is one of the most important ways to stave off cognitive decline as you get older."
"Plus, it's great for managing mental health during the transition to adulthood."- HappyHappyKidneywill ferrell anchorman GIFGiphy
Put Those Pennies In The Bank!
"Start trying to save money now."
"You will definitely thank yourself later on."- Lastnight97
Sometimes Being Wrong Is The Only Way To Learn You're Right
"Failing is okay."- 2Graves1Ashe
People Are Always Willing To Help!
"When you make a mistake, own up to it."
"People are more willing to help you when you admit you did a dumb thing."
"This goes for school, work, and personal life."
"Forget to make a payment on a loan?"
"Call and talk to the finance company."
"Mess something up on a school project?"
"Tell your teacher and ask for a bit of leeway, Etc."
"People will be more likely to help you if you communicate."
"Start your retirement fund as early as possible."
"Doesn’t matter if you can only afford $5 a week, it’s still $5 more than you would have had otherwise."
"It WILL add up and you’ll thank yourself later."- GreenOnionCrusaderhelp me 80s GIFGiphy
Follow Your Dream, But Have A Safety Net
"Get a marketable skill, unskilled labor sucks."
"You need something that’s going to pay you, it doesn’t have to be your life’s passion, contrary to what my peers were saying at that age, but you do need to be able to tolerate it."-sweetperdition
"If you don't have a passion, learn new skills."
"You might find your passion or something you're good at."- checkmatelocked
Better Safe Than Sorry
"Cashiers don't care if you buy condoms."- induceddaftfanSafe Sex Love GIF by DUREXGiphy
Looking back at things we wish we knew or had done differently will never end up doing us any good.
But giving this advice to young people could save them a world full of trouble.
Rather than mope about the past, we can help improve the future.
We all pretended to be sick at least once when we were children to get out of going to school to avoid a test, game, or assembly we'd been dreading.
Some people still might not have given up the habit of feigning illness, as a means of avoiding work or other occasions that they are less than eager to attend.
Sometimes, simply telling people that you're "sick" is all the information you need to share to get out of it.
Whether or not more concrete proof is needed, others might go a step further in faking their ailment, be it a cold or fever, and often pull off fairly convincing performances.
Sometimes even fooling a doctor.
"Doctors of Reddit, what's the biggest case of 'faking it' you've ever seen?"
That's One Large Pain Threshold...
"Taking trauma call during surgery residency, had a prisoner come in after a fight and claimed he couldn’t move or feel his legs."
"All the CT scans and MRIs were normal, but we would shield his legs so he couldn’t see them and poke them with needles and other sharp objects, with enough force to cause pain- he never flinched or moved his legs at all."
"He was diagnosed with SCIWORA, spinal cord injury without radiographic abnormality."
"He stayed in the hospital for a week, no improvement."
"Always had one guard with him."
"One night they were down in the lobby watching some television but the guard needed to use the restroom."
"The patient said, 'where could I possibly go?'"
"Guard left him alone for two minutes."
"Patient last seen sprinting down the road, naked butt cheeks flapping in the breeze."
"Made it to a city four hours away by car before he was caught again."
"I have never seen anyone fake it so well."
"Truly playing the long con!"- Wine_and_sunshineseason 8 episode 23 GIFGiphy
You'll Have To Do Better Than That...
"Patient was convinced she had a melanoma and needed a biopsy and would need to be on workers comp."
"I told her it looked like ink from a marker."
"She demanded a biopsy."
"I wiped the area off with an alcohol swab and showed her the ink and that there was no spot on her skin anymore."
"She stormed out threatening to sue."
"I'm just glad I cured her melanoma."- Richter915
No Complaints Here...
"Had a patient come in for a fall who now couldn’t move their legs at all."
"Did a bunch of tests, didn’t find anything."
"The patient was not at all phased by suddenly being paralyzed which was the first red flag."
"Didn’t really believe anything was wrong but the patient was still not moving their legs."
"My options are to admit for a huge work up or get them to walk."
"So I update them saying everything is fine, tests are negative, you can go home."
"Patient gets up, gets dressed and walks out without a word."- meropenem24
There's Clearly One Issue She Wasn't Faking...
"Not a doctor but worked in health care for nearly 20yrs."
"While taking a break from the ICU, due to it being emotionally draining, I worked in home health for a bit."
"I had a patient who clearly had Munchausen syndrome."
"On a daily basis she would call her insurance to see what things would be covered if she was diagnosed with this or that."
"She called her Doctor's office an average of 5x during my shift with her, she would report all kinds of non real symptoms."
"She pestered the doctors into doing exploitive laparoscopic surgery, of course nothing was found."
"One day I walked in and she was rubbing her incisions with rotten cabbage trying to get it infected."
"She wasn't seeking pain meds, except to sell, really she was just as happy with antibiotics or stool softeners, anything, as long as they wrote her a prescription and she got to go to the pharmacy where she did a whole song and dance for them too, claiming allergies and reactions."
"She always increased the exaggeration of her story too."
"One time she fluttered her eyes, after making sure I was looking, and said she lost consciousness in that half a second."
"She called the doctor and claimed she lost consciousness for 5mins, she called the insurance and claimed it was 10min, she called the pharmacy and claimed it was 30min, then she called 911 and told them she woke up on the floor after losing consciousness for 4hrs."
"The worst thing about her was she was a mom."
"Her son was 28 at the time and by all the stories of his childhood illnesses and all her saying how he is severely disabled I knew she basically f**ked up his childhood with Munchausen by proxy."
"She portrayed him as being severely disabled and that's why he would never find a wife."
"I met him, he was healthy and of average intelligence."
"He wasn't looking for a wife, he was gay, but she refused to accept that."
"Working with her was so miserable that I took a couple years off from any and all healthcare after that."- invisible_for_thisGiphy
She Only Thought She Was Faking It.
"Young, 18-20, Woman went running into small rural hospital ER pretending to have abdominal pain."
"Police officer had tagged her going 40+km over the limit which was ‘stunt driving’ as per the new law in Ontario, impound and licsence suspension automatic."
"Cop followed her into ER and apparently said he’d be waiting for her when she left."
"Locum staff such as myself were housed at a small B&B about 15 mins away, and the ER had pre-printed order sets to be done before we arrived."
"When I arrived she flat out admitted that she just came in because she freaked out and didn’t stop."
"I told her we’d give her 45 mins to call her parents/family before I booted her."
"Except, bHCG came back positive, and subsequent ultrasound came back showing extremely early ectopic."
"Officer figures out something is up when he hears air ambulance call come in over radio."
"She was completely asymptomatic and just worked out that she dodged both charges and a life-threatening issue by accident."
"It was definitely a WTF moment."
"A little more info, small rural hospitals in Northern Ontario often service areas from more than an hours drive away and still only have a catchment area of 2000-3000 people."
"When on-call it was just that, we would do our days in the community clinic, then maybe hospital rounds, then go home and be on call; we wouldn’t be at the hospital, there wasn’t an on-call room where you would stay for example."
"There were lots of times that you’d go a full night without being woken up, or maybe just a call from the acute care inpatient wing."
"Locums were short term contracts for places that didn’t have full time medical staff for whatever reason."
"It’s hard to attract clinicians if you don’t even have broadband internet in the community."
"They generally pay very well."- Graigori
It's hard to blame someone for faking illness to get out of something that they really don't want to do.
But when you actually try to get doctors involved in your deception, you might want to question if it's really worth it.
After all, let's not forget the story of "the boy who cried wolf"...
Every kid has their own strengths and talents. However, in school, some of us are singled out as being ‘gifted.’
This could mean a variety of things, from getting exceptionally good grades to having a unique way of thinking or understanding topics that aren’t seen in other students.
Often, when a student is labeled “gifted,” it is assumed they will be successful in later life.
However, Reddit has proven that this is not always the case.
Sometimes gifted students are successful but to a normal degree. They have the same careers and achievements as students who weren't labeled gifted. Other times, these students are not successful at all and being labeled “gifted” ended up damaging.
Curious about the results of this label, Redditor Lemon_m1lk asked:
“People who were “gifted” in elementary school: what are you doing in life now?”
A Real Job
"First comment I saw that was actually a job and not a chronic depression..."
"I work in biotech ensuring drugs are safe and make a great living, just paid off my house. I feel like Reddit isn’t the most balanced place to ask this question haha"
Life Of Academia
"I have a PhD and teach university. So never leaving academia?"
"I think this is the way I'm headed too. PhD in archaeology (I start next week) and couldn't be happier with my life choices."
"Same. It's usually a great gig, except I'm chair of my department now and have to be nice to people."
Science And Engineering, Of Course
"I'm a computer engineer and VP at my company. I worked at a successful startup and even had a co-op job at NASA in college."
"Senior software architect. Discovered I had a knack for programming my sophomore year in college many moons ago. Made a career out of it. :)"
A Working Brain
"Honestly, I’ve got a good life. Got a master’s degree and certification in a job that I find really rewarding and challenging."
"I still love to learn."
"I have a great relationship with my SO and a pretty cool kid."
"I’m still friends with some of my gifted buddies (despite living all over the US). And I would say we are pretty content with our lives."
Others didn’t achieve what everyone expected them to achieve.
"I can count your change like a motherf*cker though."
"I am VERY succesful in my menial job"
Done At 10
"I peaked in grade 5. It was a good ride while it lasted, tho."
"Omg, same here. I was put into an advanced sixth grade that required actual effort and it was downhill from there."
Trying To Figure It Out
"Winging it still at 37...."
"This hits too close... I too am 37. Whole family and friend group like "why aren't you super successful? You're so smart and charismatic!""
""Really wish I could tell y'all something that made sense...""
Such A Waste
"I am chronically unemployed and just generally a waste of space."
"You and me both. Chronic depression and various other mental health issues; I suspect my brain simply burned out."
"Not unemployed but I have a lot of anxiety and fear of failure. I only start things when I can guarantee success. For example, I’ve been wanting to learn Python but the fear of not doing well stops me every time"
Only Way Out Is Through
"Depressed, anxious, and agoraphobic. I flunked out of high school because the anxiety was too much for me to handle and later turned to drugs to cope. I finally got sober but life still sucks."
Some even pointed out that being called “gifted” or anything of the sort was damaging to students.
"I'm staying in school bc I don't believe I'll thrive anywhere else. So I'm getting degree after degree."
"I’ve never related to any comment more than this. School was a safe place with clear objectives (degrees) and a reliable method of accountability (grades). Would be a student for life if I could"
"Same. Now I’m 39 with only 7 years of job experience."
Or High Anxiety
"Having anxiety about change in my life"
"Huge mood. Being labelled as having “so much potential!!!!!1!!!” will set you up for striving to be good at even the most menial and brainless tasks, bc if you’re not competent…well!"
Special Gifted Classes
"They were still doing this as late as the mid 90s where I went. Fun at first until you realize you still had to cover what you missed. Eventually the policy changed to 1 day a week at a different school which was even worse because you never really bonded with anyone there."
"Gifted school was better except they assumed you were gifted at all subjects."
"I remember being taken out of class in the 70s too. In the third grade me and about 4 other kids were studying microbes and using microscopes. Then they repurposed the room we were using and they just quietly moved us into the corner of the regular classroom which I found embarrassing. We would have to whisper with the teacher but it just made the other kids want to know what we were doing over there. It was awkward and poorly executed."
And Missing Out On The Fun
"Dude. Me too. Taken out of my regular school to go hang out with nerds and miss pe. Which was our only chance for sports that I only cared about back then"
"yeah i was “gifted” enough to know more busywork was punishment for being “gifted”. i’ll take my recesses and classes with my friends thanks."
Recognition, validation, and facilitation can be extremely valuable for students, especially young ones.
However, it is more beneficial for these students to know it's okay to be who they are rather than being put into categories and gaining labels early in life.
Non-disclosure agreements, or NDAs, are legally binding contracts that establish confidential relationships.
For most people, it’s not a big deal. NDAs are often signed at the start or end of an employment opportunity or during a sale of a product or technology you own. They mainly protect creative, business, or intellectual properties.
However, another function of NDAs is to guarantee silence on more high profile or nefarious events. For example, Stormy Daniels was asked to sign an NDA so that events that transpired between her and former president, Donald Trump, would be kept a secret. In most cases like these, the person who signs the NDA also gets a sum of money for their cooperation.
In these cases, the reason for the NDA is usually wild.
Curious about these wild reasons, Redditor gabz09 asked:
“People no longer bound by their non-disclosure agreements, what can you now disclose?”
That Didn't Work Out
"I disclosed to a minority partner that the majority partner owed him 100k. He could have easily received a check for that amount, but he sued for 700k, spent 300k on a lawyer and got nothing."
"Ha...I saw the owner of a company I worked for do the same thing. A sales employee sued for not getting proper commissions and the CEO easily paid 10 times that amount fighting it in court...only to lose and have to pay anyways. Spite!
"Not me but my cousin. He was working his first job in Marketing in one of the top marketing firms in the country. My cousin is ridiculously good looking, used to be a model for A&F( not just the local store models, but one of the national models) and dresses well. So he get to the job and his bosses boss (male) starts hitting on him ridiculously. He's invited to lunch, dinner asked if he wants to go to the bosses weekend home, all the time turning him down. One time in the car his boss told him how quickly he would advance if he spent the weekend with him, and my cousin recorded the entire conversation. He nopes the boss and then ghost him on invites for weeks until the boss stops asking. Fast forward to three months after he's hired and he's doing his review with HR and his immediate supervisor is there. He starts to hear about how he's not a good fit, not a team player etc."
"They let him know they were terminating him, and he grabbed the paperwork they wanted him to sign and put it in his pocket. Then he pulled out his phone and played his bosses recording. After he was done, he looked at the HR manager and asked if she had anything to say. They both left the room acting shell shocked and he stayed there in the conferoom until the HR manager came back an hour later. She put her boss on the conference line and they started telling him it was illegal to record private conversations, they would file charges etc. He laughed and told them he would go to the press, and that he knows they would love to put him on TV. Three days later he as signing a nondisclosure and picking up a check almost big enough to pay for his three years of law school. For anyone wondering, no the guy who harassed him was not fired, and he has since been promoted again by the company."
Don't Believe Everything You Read
"The book you're reading might only be a "bestseller" because the author had enough money to buy thousands and thousands of copies, have them shipped to a warehouse for storage, and eventually destroyed."
"Always wondered how sh*tty books were on the NYTBSL and who was buying them..."
"Given the fact that a book I'm reading right now is labeled as a "Bestseller" reads like a sixth grader wrote it, I wouldn't be surprised"
This Is How Games Fall Apart
"Technically, I'm still bound by the NDA, but the company didn't know how to write NDAs. It's like they had the following conversation:"
"Hey, we need an NDA just like all these other companies have!"
"Do you know how to write an NDA?"
"The NDA was for a roleplaying game that I signed up to playtest with the group. The NDA itself actually forbade me -- the person running the game and providing feedback to the company -- from talking about it, but had no such restrictions in place for anyone I ran the game for. It only required me to sign it, not any of my players. The way it was written, I was not allowed to play the game with any of the players in the group. How they expected anyone to playtest the game, I don't know."
"The way that RPG playtests are supposed to happen is:"
- "the company releases a playtest document,"
- "people play it, and then"
- "they make changes for another round of playtesting."
"What actually happened is the company changed the core resolution mechanic of the game in the middle of the first round of testing (in the middle of a long message forum thread), based on the feedback of people who were openly admitting they only read the rules and hadn't actually played the game."
"One of the people who stated they hadn't played the game also said he didn't have a group of players they were going to play it with."
"So they changed the game based on nothing but feedback from people who hadn't tested anything."
"To top it off, after my group actually played the game and submitted feedback we weren't invited back to the second round of playtesting."
"Also we were left off the playtest credits."
This Is Disappointing
"I worked at a small bakery in New York City when I was younger. Every morning the bakery would take their day old cup cakes and deliver them to a tour company that did Sex and the City tours. The tour company would pass our cupcakes off as cupcakes from Magnolia, and significantly much more popular bakery."
The Secret Has Been Revealed
"The secret ingredient in Jimmy John’s tuna salad is Kikkoman’s Soy Sauce"
"I make my tuna with soy sauce now. I only worked there for a short time, so I was never allowed to make the tuna. But a friend that worked with me told me the recipe. They’re funny with their NDAs."
– Deleted User
My Pretzels Shall Be The Same!
"When i was fired from Auntie Anne's in 2010, I signed a 10 year non-compete/NDA contract, promising not to detail the baking secrets or work for another pretzel establishment."
"Well that ended this year so now I can run out and start a pretzel store because the secret I was keeping was making pretzels literally requires 2 products, one of them being water and the other a large bag of pretzel meal/dust/powder. Quite literally anyone with $2500 can start a pretzel stand and make perfectly fine pretzels, it's not difficult whatsoever."
"Edit: I signed the letter when I was hired but I got a copy with my termination letter."
It Could Be Worse
"I used to work for a large gas station chain."
"I worked at its warehouse where it creates a lot of the donuts. The room was really hot so we were always sweating. There’s some machines where the donuts get glazed in chocolate. They’re these small machines they look almost like a bbq grill. They always wanted us to be super fast glazing the donuts. Working in a hot room and working at super fast speeds it was natural for a lot of peoples sweat to just drip in the chocolate underneath us. Never eat the chocolate donuts from a gas station"
"Honestly if the worst thing in those donuts is human sweat, I'm impressed."
Knowledge Should Be Shared
"I was a contractor for NASA. I still fully support the agency, but I was extremely bugged when I learned that each separate NASA center (e.g., JPL, Kennedy, Ames, Goddard) hides many of its inventions and breakthroughs from the other centers so that when HQ is ready to assign a big mission (and a lot of dollars) to one center, they have a better chance to compete over the others. “Look what we invented! Ames can’t do this over there! Give us the next moon orbiter!”"
"The downside is that there is a ton of reinvention and duplicated efforts going on. Sometimes years of work go down the drain when another center does the same thing faster. My perspective was: you all work for NASA. Share knowledge, collaborate. I was frequently ordered to tone down anything revealing when speaking to other centers."
Reasons To Stop Eating Out
"We re-used buffet style food served in a cafeteria that we're supposed to compost and record as waste. The health inspector says anything that's left open buffet style and serve yourself can't be taken back and repurposed because it's not monitored and could be cross contaminated or many other things (nobody should ever eat buffet style if avoidable fyi) but the fortune 500 company I worked for was unhappy about the money they were losing by composting the food so they make us keep it and re-serve it later or repurpose it into soup or casserole or something. Personally I never did this and just waited for my boss to leave and compost the food but others I worked with were too worried about losing their jobs to go against orders."
"I didn't want to be fired but felt morally obligated to not feed people food that was meant to be garbage, so I just sneaky tossed it out when nobody was looking because I got paid really well there. We all had to sign NDA's saying we wouldn't tell the media or non employees about recipes and procedures that covered leftover food and food waste. Eventually my boss discovered what I was doing and I stood up to him about not being willing to reuse garbage as food so we agreed that I'd just quit because while they could force me not to talk about it, they couldn't actually force me to do something illegal for my job and I was clearly refusing to do it."
Some of these are even worse/funnier than I imagined.