The ladies love gay men. The ladies love us. They just do. I have been checked out at the gym so often by women that one day I became so frustrated I had to speak. On this particular day, I was running like a fiend on the treadmill, and this lovely young woman sidled up onto the treadmill next to me. She would not stop eyeing me, flipping her hair and would incessantly try to make small talk; which I regretfully engaged in.
Finally near the end of the run, just as I was about to finish she pushed my shoulder to ask me if I wanted to grab a drink. I was thrown off because I was focused on my finish and because her push was more a shove and I fell to the floor. I wanted to read her for filth but instead just yelled... "leave me alone... I have a man!" She got the memo! As did the gym.
Redditor u/lil_Chickens wanted to hear how the boys out there let down a lady or two by letting them know... we bat for the same team girl. They asked... Gay men of reddit, have you ever pulled the "I have a boyfriend" on a girl? If so what was their reaction?No Tanks Please
gay men GIFGiphyI have had a drunk girl very awkwardly trying to flirt with me. I laughed it off at first until her boyfriend showed up and seemed ready to start a fight. I told him don't worry I am gay, and no he is not my type either, and he just deflated. It's kinda funny really. From then on I save my tank tops for gay bars only.
Whoops...
Backfired so freaking hard. I was with a guy I had gone on like 3 dates with and got along great with but it was still new. He overheard me tell this girl "I'm really sorry but I'm actually here with my boyfriend". He was nearby, overheard "boyfriend", had a little "we're moving too fast" panic attack and bailed.
I thought it'd be something we'd have a laugh about, planned to get together for some food the next day but he ended up flaking.
He was a really self conscious person, think he felt awkward about the whole thing and how he reacted. C'est la vie! He was a good guy, no ill will. Just a bit of a facepalm. I should have just let that girl get handsy.
Gonna be honest, it was just a line I had used before to get some of the creepier older gents in gay bars to stop bothering me, I figured hey, this has never let me down. Mistakes were made.
Just Say No
Years ago this girl approached me at a bar and asked if she could have my number, I was totally thrown for a loop. I told her I was gay and she got super offended and said "if you're not interested, then just say so!" and stormed off. I felt bad.
Damn Genitalia...
gay GIFGiphyI was shamelessly hitting on this guy until he just straight up told me:
"You know I am gay, right?"
I in fact did not know. We are really good friends now and constantly joke that our genitalia is getting in the way of the romance of a lifetime.
"So what's up with you?"
When I said "I have a boyfriend," they left me alone right away. Nowadays when I say "I have a husband," they get a lot more aggressive. A few recent ones: at the grocery store and a girl small talks me a bit before asking for my number. Told her that I'm married and she brushed it off like she didn't hear me. Started switching it up and complimenting my appearance a lot. Another one is at the gas station where this girl outright got next to me and started touching my arm and just said "So what's up with you?"
Again, she ignored me when I said I had a husband and pressed harder on me
When my husband and I dated, they'd back off right away. Both men and women. I think it's just me being married, and very little to do with him being my husband, that gets the interest higher.
The Non-Perve
Had a very good looking young lady (30's) point out to her very good looking boyfriend (30's) that I (55) was perving on her. He was a bit annoyed and asked 'WTF man'. I said "Hang on i'll ask my husband". The guy giggled and said to his lady 'He's cool he's perving on me'. It was so good to see such cool guy.
At the Library...
Happened a couple times when girls assumed I was hitting on them. At the library once, I asked a girl (who was sitting alone at a table that could sit 10) if I could sit by her. She gave me that irritated look, "I have a boyfriend." I replied "So do I," and I just sat down. That attitude is very widespread among straight women, from my experience - unless I just constantly sound unwittingly flirty.
I have been accused of hitting on girls several times when I never did. Worst so far was a girl at a party who was going around and telling every guest that I was undressing her with my eyes. Thankfully, most of the guests were my friends and knew I'm gay, lol.
But I'm 5'11
sexy swimming pool GIF by ROMEOGiphyOooooh do I have one for y'all. So I live in Texas and being gay is still not widely accepted here so it shocks people when I tell them. This has happened to me multiple times. The one that stands out the most is that this woman actually told me I'm too tall to be gay. What does that mean? I'm literally 5' 11"? I am so confused by this.
For Safety
I pulled an 'i have a girlfriend' on a creepy man who I found out later was a serial killer. I'm a gay man, the serial killer was Stephen Port aka the grinder killer. I was a getting a bus close to his apartment when he approached me in the early hours. Saying I had a girlfriend did not immediately deter him however. Terrifying experience.
At D & D
dunkin donuts omg GIF by Dunkin’GiphyI've had to do it a few times, usually they apologize and stop, but sometimes they done.
My boyfriend had me pick him up a coffee from dunkin donuts and the lady at the window kept talking about how she couldn't find a boyfriend and then started asking what I'm doing that night. I told her about my boyfriend expecting her to stop, but she didn't so i just drove off.
"No thank you, I'm gay"
I was in Thailand with my ex and I would always get harassed by sex workerrs to buy their services. One night were both on our way back to the hotel and as usual and one approached us. I said "No thank you, I'm gay" to which she responds "I don't believe you" so I kissed him in front of her and she says "You make a cute couple" and walked away.
Actually...
Gay Hearts GIFGiphyNot exactly.....
One day I was walking home from a college class, and these two girls were hogging up the entire sidewalk walking side by side.
I slowed down a bit as I walked closer behind them and was waiting for them to either make room or else I was just gonna walk on the grass past them. One girl looked at me and then went back to talking without moving so I just walked on the grass past them and as I get back on the sidewalk in front of them I heard one of them say "I think he was checking us out" and I just stopped and said "actually I like guys" and then kept walking.
I'm a Lesbian
I'm a lesbian, but I have a funny story.
I worked in retail and was very openly gay. One of my coworkers invited me over to hang out at his place with a friend. I was kinda nervous to drink with a couple dudes I didn't know, but he's always been a really nice and everyone had good things to say about him. I ended up taking him up on his offer. Towards the end of the night we were pretty smashed and he tried to make a move on me. I just sat there very confused for a minute. When I hesitated he immediately started backing off saying "hey no worries, figured I'd just shoot my shot."
I told him "I'm flattered, but I'm also super gay." He laughed it off, apologized and we ended up becoming pretty decent friends and partying together regularly. Definitely the nicest drunk dude I've ever known. I've had a lot of really horrible experiences with dudes at parties, so this guy being so genuine and treating me like a living, breathing, human being was so refreshing.
Oh Honey...
Okay, not gay, but have pulled the "I have a boyfriend" card. So the story is, I'm a pretty femme guy. I like fashion, hair, make-up, that sort of thing. I saw a woman in the store who was just having a fantastic hair day, and I mentioned it to her. She said, "Umm, I don't think my boyfriend would appreciate you hitting on me." I said, "Oh honey, if I was hitting on you, my boyfriend would be far more upset." Then she just looked at me while she tried to figure it out, so I helped it along. "Ever had a straight guy compliment your haircut before?" Then she was flattered and felt good and we both went about our days.
FB Issues
In high school, this girl messaged me over facebook asking me to prom and telling me that she loved me. I told her that that's sweet but I'm gay. Turns out she also did this to one of my other gay friends after I turned her down.
Maybe a 7...
not bad chris geere GIF by You're The Worst GiphyI'm a solid 6 in the USA, but not immediately detectable as gay.
When I lived in Brazil, my blond hair and red beard made me "exotic" and equivalent to an 8 there, and women were CONSTANTLY aggressively hitting on me.
I would tell them I was gay, but they very often didn't believe me and continued their hard-sell approach. It really made me realise what it's like for women when men are just relentless. Sooooo annoying.
Whoops, sorry...
No, because I wouldn't date them if I didn't have a boyfriend. If I'm hit on by a woman, I let them know I'm gay. If I tell them I have a boyfriend, that implies I'd otherwise be interested, and I'm not.
The response I've gotten to "sorry, I'm gay" varies wildly. Most women are shocked and some think I'm joking. Some take it as a challenge and keep hitting on me anyway. I've lost a couple female friends who refused to take no for an answer (seriously ladies, respecting boundaries is a 2way street).
With the Lads
I am not gay, but when I'm at the bar with the lads (back in the long long ago when going to bars was a thing), I use a line similar to this.
I notice women seem to think if they flirt with me, I will buy them a drink. Perhaps because I am ogrish and dress nicely they think I am desperate and rich enough to pay for their drinks? Anyways, a couple of years ago, I had this lady flirting with me for a few minutes followed by "So, are you going to buy me a drink?" I replied with...
"Let me go ask my boyfriend. He carries all our money."
Then I go up to one of my buddies, tell him about the situation, and we look at the poor girl and laugh and laugh and kiss.
but you're hot!
Me and my boyfriend were at a straight club. Some girl kept grinding up on him and told him constantly "you're so hot!" He said he had a boyfriend, (me), and she didn't believe him and kept grinding away on him. He kinda yelled at her and said "STOP IT, He's RIGHT THERE! Now STOP!!" She turns to me, who is across the bar her face just DROPS, and she walks away like a sad puppy. Head down, slow pace away. Since I was with my other friend across the bar I had no idea why she looked so sad after looking at me... I didn't know what she did to my bf at the time just beforehand.
Just a Kiss
olivia newton-john gay GIFGiphy"Sorry, I'm taken" "Really? You don't look like someone who has a girlfriend" "Because I don't have *kisses the guy sitting next to him*".
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.