Gay Men Who've Told A Woman 'I Actually Have A Boyfriend' Describe The Reactions They Got
Image by rihaij from Pixabay

The ladies love gay men. The ladies love us. They just do. I have been checked out at the gym so often by women that one day I became so frustrated I had to speak. On this particular day, I was running like a fiend on the treadmill, and this lovely young woman sidled up onto the treadmill next to me. She would not stop eyeing me, flipping her hair and would incessantly try to make small talk; which I regretfully engaged in.

Finally near the end of the run, just as I was about to finish she pushed my shoulder to ask me if I wanted to grab a drink. I was thrown off because I was focused on my finish and because her push was more a shove and I fell to the floor. I wanted to read her for filth but instead just yelled... "leave me alone... I have a man!" She got the memo! As did the gym.

Redditor u/lil_Chickens wanted to hear how the boys out there let down a lady or two by letting them know... we bat for the same team girl. They asked... Gay men of reddit, have you ever pulled the "I have a boyfriend" on a girl? If so what was their reaction?

No Tanks Please

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I have had a drunk girl very awkwardly trying to flirt with me. I laughed it off at first until her boyfriend showed up and seemed ready to start a fight. I told him don't worry I am gay, and no he is not my type either, and he just deflated. It's kinda funny really. From then on I save my tank tops for gay bars only.



Backfired so freaking hard. I was with a guy I had gone on like 3 dates with and got along great with but it was still new. He overheard me tell this girl "I'm really sorry but I'm actually here with my boyfriend". He was nearby, overheard "boyfriend", had a little "we're moving too fast" panic attack and bailed.

I thought it'd be something we'd have a laugh about, planned to get together for some food the next day but he ended up flaking.

He was a really self conscious person, think he felt awkward about the whole thing and how he reacted. C'est la vie! He was a good guy, no ill will. Just a bit of a facepalm. I should have just let that girl get handsy.

Gonna be honest, it was just a line I had used before to get some of the creepier older gents in gay bars to stop bothering me, I figured hey, this has never let me down. Mistakes were made.


Just Say No

Years ago this girl approached me at a bar and asked if she could have my number, I was totally thrown for a loop. I told her I was gay and she got super offended and said "if you're not interested, then just say so!" and stormed off. I felt bad.


Damn Genitalia...

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I was shamelessly hitting on this guy until he just straight up told me:

"You know I am gay, right?"

I in fact did not know. We are really good friends now and constantly joke that our genitalia is getting in the way of the romance of a lifetime.


"So what's up with you?" 

When I said "I have a boyfriend," they left me alone right away. Nowadays when I say "I have a husband," they get a lot more aggressive. A few recent ones: at the grocery store and a girl small talks me a bit before asking for my number. Told her that I'm married and she brushed it off like she didn't hear me. Started switching it up and complimenting my appearance a lot. Another one is at the gas station where this girl outright got next to me and started touching my arm and just said "So what's up with you?"

Again, she ignored me when I said I had a husband and pressed harder on me

When my husband and I dated, they'd back off right away. Both men and women. I think it's just me being married, and very little to do with him being my husband, that gets the interest higher.


The Non-Perve

Had a very good looking young lady (30's) point out to her very good looking boyfriend (30's) that I (55) was perving on her. He was a bit annoyed and asked 'WTF man'. I said "Hang on i'll ask my husband". The guy giggled and said to his lady 'He's cool he's perving on me'. It was so good to see such cool guy.


At the Library...

Happened a couple times when girls assumed I was hitting on them. At the library once, I asked a girl (who was sitting alone at a table that could sit 10) if I could sit by her. She gave me that irritated look, "I have a boyfriend." I replied "So do I," and I just sat down. That attitude is very widespread among straight women, from my experience - unless I just constantly sound unwittingly flirty.

I have been accused of hitting on girls several times when I never did. Worst so far was a girl at a party who was going around and telling every guest that I was undressing her with my eyes. Thankfully, most of the guests were my friends and knew I'm gay, lol.


But I'm 5'11

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Oooooh do I have one for y'all. So I live in Texas and being gay is still not widely accepted here so it shocks people when I tell them. This has happened to me multiple times. The one that stands out the most is that this woman actually told me I'm too tall to be gay. What does that mean? I'm literally 5' 11"? I am so confused by this.


For Safety

I pulled an 'i have a girlfriend' on a creepy man who I found out later was a serial killer. I'm a gay man, the serial killer was Stephen Port aka the grinder killer. I was a getting a bus close to his apartment when he approached me in the early hours. Saying I had a girlfriend did not immediately deter him however. Terrifying experience.


At D & D

dunkin donuts omg GIF by Dunkin’ Giphy

I've had to do it a few times, usually they apologize and stop, but sometimes they done.

My boyfriend had me pick him up a coffee from dunkin donuts and the lady at the window kept talking about how she couldn't find a boyfriend and then started asking what I'm doing that night. I told her about my boyfriend expecting her to stop, but she didn't so i just drove off.


"No thank you, I'm gay"

I was in Thailand with my ex and I would always get harassed by sex workerrs to buy their services. One night were both on our way back to the hotel and as usual and one approached us. I said "No thank you, I'm gay" to which she responds "I don't believe you" so I kissed him in front of her and she says "You make a cute couple" and walked away.



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Not exactly.....

One day I was walking home from a college class, and these two girls were hogging up the entire sidewalk walking side by side.

I slowed down a bit as I walked closer behind them and was waiting for them to either make room or else I was just gonna walk on the grass past them. One girl looked at me and then went back to talking without moving so I just walked on the grass past them and as I get back on the sidewalk in front of them I heard one of them say "I think he was checking us out" and I just stopped and said "actually I like guys" and then kept walking.


I'm a Lesbian

I'm a lesbian, but I have a funny story.

I worked in retail and was very openly gay. One of my coworkers invited me over to hang out at his place with a friend. I was kinda nervous to drink with a couple dudes I didn't know, but he's always been a really nice and everyone had good things to say about him. I ended up taking him up on his offer. Towards the end of the night we were pretty smashed and he tried to make a move on me. I just sat there very confused for a minute. When I hesitated he immediately started backing off saying "hey no worries, figured I'd just shoot my shot."

I told him "I'm flattered, but I'm also super gay." He laughed it off, apologized and we ended up becoming pretty decent friends and partying together regularly. Definitely the nicest drunk dude I've ever known. I've had a lot of really horrible experiences with dudes at parties, so this guy being so genuine and treating me like a living, breathing, human being was so refreshing.


Oh Honey...

Okay, not gay, but have pulled the "I have a boyfriend" card. So the story is, I'm a pretty femme guy. I like fashion, hair, make-up, that sort of thing. I saw a woman in the store who was just having a fantastic hair day, and I mentioned it to her. She said, "Umm, I don't think my boyfriend would appreciate you hitting on me." I said, "Oh honey, if I was hitting on you, my boyfriend would be far more upset." Then she just looked at me while she tried to figure it out, so I helped it along. "Ever had a straight guy compliment your haircut before?" Then she was flattered and felt good and we both went about our days.


FB Issues

In high school, this girl messaged me over facebook asking me to prom and telling me that she loved me. I told her that that's sweet but I'm gay. Turns out she also did this to one of my other gay friends after I turned her down.


Maybe a 7...

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I'm a solid 6 in the USA, but not immediately detectable as gay.

When I lived in Brazil, my blond hair and red beard made me "exotic" and equivalent to an 8 there, and women were CONSTANTLY aggressively hitting on me.

I would tell them I was gay, but they very often didn't believe me and continued their hard-sell approach. It really made me realise what it's like for women when men are just relentless. Sooooo annoying.


Whoops, sorry...

No, because I wouldn't date them if I didn't have a boyfriend. If I'm hit on by a woman, I let them know I'm gay. If I tell them I have a boyfriend, that implies I'd otherwise be interested, and I'm not.

The response I've gotten to "sorry, I'm gay" varies wildly. Most women are shocked and some think I'm joking. Some take it as a challenge and keep hitting on me anyway. I've lost a couple female friends who refused to take no for an answer (seriously ladies, respecting boundaries is a 2way street).


With the Lads

I am not gay, but when I'm at the bar with the lads (back in the long long ago when going to bars was a thing), I use a line similar to this.

I notice women seem to think if they flirt with me, I will buy them a drink. Perhaps because I am ogrish and dress nicely they think I am desperate and rich enough to pay for their drinks? Anyways, a couple of years ago, I had this lady flirting with me for a few minutes followed by "So, are you going to buy me a drink?" I replied with...

"Let me go ask my boyfriend. He carries all our money."

Then I go up to one of my buddies, tell him about the situation, and we look at the poor girl and laugh and laugh and kiss.


but you're hot! 

Me and my boyfriend were at a straight club. Some girl kept grinding up on him and told him constantly "you're so hot!" He said he had a boyfriend, (me), and she didn't believe him and kept grinding away on him. He kinda yelled at her and said "STOP IT, He's RIGHT THERE! Now STOP!!" She turns to me, who is across the bar her face just DROPS, and she walks away like a sad puppy. Head down, slow pace away. Since I was with my other friend across the bar I had no idea why she looked so sad after looking at me... I didn't know what she did to my bf at the time just beforehand.


Just a Kiss

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"Sorry, I'm taken" "Really? You don't look like someone who has a girlfriend" "Because I don't have *kisses the guy sitting next to him*".


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