Being gay is special. It's too long to explain it all, just trust the truth. Ladies... and maybe some gents, accepting the way God made is all is a very sobering experience. Telling the gay truth can be... no... IS empowering but can also be very entertaining.
Redditor InFinder2004 wanted to hear from all the men of same-sex persuasion about trying to chat with the ladies by asking:
(Serious) Gay men of Reddit, what was your "Sorry ladies, I like men" moment?
I Wanna Dance With Somebody!
GiphyI was at a music festival and one of my favorite artists came out and played a great set. It's absolutely packed and I'm dancing my booty off in a huge crowd of people having a great time. I guess the girl standing in front of me thought I was dancing up against her to try and make a move? She turns around and tells me she has a boyfriend - literally told her "that's great, I'm gay so that's not really any concern of mine, but I really dig your 80s top so you do you." cariboozer_
"you're actually gay?!"
I sat in the back corner of health class when I was a junior, though at my new school it was a freshman class. I immediately had 5 girls surround me, it was clear a couple of them had a crush. I moved a lot so it was normal for people not to know me and normal for me to keep to myself. Granted, I'm not a small guy but I was still nervous about being "out". One day they spent a good 20 minutes literally giving me a sales pitch on which one of them was hotter and wouldn't stop bugging me for an answer.
At some point one of the louder ones asked out of nowhere, "are you gay?". I said without even thinking, "yes, so stop asking!". She screamed , no joke, "you're actually gay?!" Loud enough for people in the hall to stop and look in. It was almost worse because now these five girls immediately clung onto their first "gay friend". Could've been worse, I had to fight at a couple past schools. Now though, I had a fairly impenetrable girl shield so nobody had a thing to say. First time I came out publicly too. thatguyinthejeans
girl please....
I had a group of girls on the train once chastise me for staring at their friend's butt. I told them I was gay and was only staring at her questionable fashion choices.
(She looked fine, but I was a little insulted and had to retaliate). llieno94
"cool, me too"
GiphyI went to a club and I was looking at this girl simply because I liked her outfit but she then noticed me staring. She looked me dead in the eye and said, "stop staring at me weirdo, I have a boyfriend." And without any hesitation I replied with, "cool, me too". lilpickle00
KFC Forever....
One time I was getting KFC with a friend and I think the girl at the counter must have misread my politeness. Once I'd gone to sit down with my friend she came past and was like "Here" and put a piece of paper on the table pretty abruptly before walking off. Basically it was a short message and her number.
I'm pretty obviously not straight in the way I present myself so this sort of thing doesn't normally happen to me and I wasn't sure what to do. In the end I spent like an hour trying to find out the best way to say "Hey you seem nice and good on you for being so ballsy but also I'm gay."
I also made the mistake of posting about it on Facebook because it was pretty funny, especially if you know me. But someone saw it who knew both of us and put two and two together. So basically I fucked up a bit there.
She was real nice about it all and she thought it was funny too so it was chill. I was very out of my depth though. Lloydshanks
noviO, NOT noviA.....
I'm a white guy who tends to get read as gay in white communities because I'm short, generally well-dressed, and have a higher pitched voice. I work with Latino communities a lot in my job, though, and for them, I often get read as masculine/straight because I have facial hair. Different cultural benchmarks I guess, no big deal imo.
One time, though, I had two women in the community open up that they got in a big fight over me. One was mad that the other was spending more time with me. I just sat there dumbstruck and scared about outing myself because I didn't want to stop working with them. I just had to casually mention my noviO, NOT noviA and they figured it out. I think they just felt silly. I still work with them, great ladies. One of them is going to cook me mole soon, I'm stoked. throw_away1232123221
back to me....
I was at a hotel. I walk into the elevator and a girl is standing there. To make the ride less awkward, I ask how her day is going. She immediately says "Back off! I have a boyfriend" I said "Yeah, so do I. Anyways, back to my question." PrettyBoy6167
Flipped...
I had a co-worker who would flirt with our male coworkers to get them to do her work. She tried the hair flip and eye bat with me one day, I just laughed and said sorry not interested in what you got. foolhardyass
Why not the Men?
GiphyAll the time, unfortunately. Well, actually, rarely do I even notice that a lady is flirting with me, it usually has to be pointed out to me after the fact. But dozens of times ladies have tried to flirt with me, and those times that I either do pick it up, or someone else points it out to me I have to gently let them know that my boat does not sail in that direction and I am not accepting ladies as passengers.
Then it makes me mad. I get ladies to flirt with me, but never the men :( I don't think that's fair. I could in theory get what I don't want, but I can't get what I do want. llcucf80
On the Video....
I was video calling my husband from my car in a parking lot outside the store, and there was a lady milling around who looked a bit dressed up but didn't seem to be wearing pants (or a skirt, or anything in that "equip slot"). I kept glancing over at her, trying to figure out why there's a pantsless lady wandering around. And then she started walking straight toward my car. Most people who've approached me in my parked car have been panhandlers, and I wasn't in the mood to get asked for money or really talk to strangers at all, so I drove away.
In retrospect, I'm pretty sure I almost was approached by a sex worker (who thought I was interested because I was looking at her) in the middle of a phone call with my husband. firstmatedavy
"Oh god no I'm gay"
GiphyOne time I told a girl that I liked her boots (in my defense they were awesome) but she and her boyfriend thought I said boobs. "Oh god no I'm gay" helped me a lot that day. adeiner
"so do I!"
I was in the elevator of a resort going to my room, as I just arrived in town and needed to get ready for a trade show. In comes 3 drunk chicks from the pool, one goes "I like men with beards" trying to flirt, when I replied "so do I!" She went from trying to boink to trying to be my fruit fly. Lvs2splooge4lulzzz
Sorry Boo...
I'm more on the skinny side of men and if you looked at me long enough you'd know damn well I'm gay. Apparently though it depends on where I am that people notice this fact. While at a bar with a couple of my friends (3 straight dudes and 1 bi guy) I was talking with a lot of the women that my straight friends were chatting with as well, just being friendly you know. One of them, really pretty lady, was talking to me and telling me that she liked my confidence in talking to women (which my confidence comes from wanting a conversation not a hookup) and gave me her number. Let me tell you my conversational confidence disappeared like that and I panicked and was like "oh my god I'm so sorry I'm gay I like men ahhaaha". Luckily she didn't seem to fazed by that and we ended up having a lovely conversation. Reddit
"Are you into guys?"
I was at a bar with my friends, standard. Rather tipsy girl comes over and starts trying to grind on me. It's inappropriate anyway, but I have to turn to her to push her away, because I was rather uncomfortable. She looks a little offended, so I ask her the classic "Are you into guys" she says yes and I say "me too."
Mistake, she immediately changes tack and starts with the gay best friend thing (rude) then proceeded to fall backwards over a barstool. I escaped and went back to talking about Formula 1 with my friends while she found a dude to make out with. Matduka
Like a Virgin....
GiphyHaven't had one. Usually ladies just ask me if I have a "girlfr..." pause as if coming to a realization and continue with "rrrsignificant other?" Just started a new job and that exact sequence of syllables has happened to me at least three times in as many days. Apparently I'm just obvious enough that you can tell, but not until you're mid-sentence. pots-and-pans-robot
Stay Sober...
I was getting drunk with my manager out in the parking lot after my last day of work. General I'm going to miss you, it's been fun, remember that time... kind of stuff. She confessed she had feelings for me but because of the company's strict rules on fraternization she kept it to herself. She then asked if I wanted to go back to her place. Now I never talked about my sexuality, I prefer to be single so people would probably assume from a distance and never be validated one way or the other.
I wouldn't lie if someone asked but I pass for straight so no one ever really did. I told her what the deal was, but surprisingly this didn't change her mind. She was not a person that was used to or would tolerate rejection. This made her a great GM but not very personable. In fact she kind of got offended and continued to come on to me regardless, right there in the front seat of her car. Again I told her it wasn't going to happen and I didn't feel comfortable with her advances. She then tried renegotiating, asking if she could just perform oral on me instead. SaltyPoseidon22
So, I rolled with it,.......
Back home in the US, I am coded gay, particularly my voice. However, where I live now, I am just seen as "The American."
I had a really nice woman strike up a conversation with me, I was really enjoying things until she touched my hand and laughed. I thought that was really weird because I typically don't like being touched, but when she laughed, I realized that she was flirting with me, not just having a conversation.
So, I rolled with it, and a couple of minutes later referred to my dogs and my husband.
The cold shoulder I got afterward made me wish I had kept my mouth shut... we were having a great conversation and she was lovely.
Conversely, I have often found that women will be a bit standoffish of me until I mention my husband, at which point the mood completely changes, and I see a much brighter, happier, and less reserved person. This is by far the most common thing that happens.
It makes me sad that both happens. anderlustcub
Hey Homo....
In the school hallway I was yelled at by some girl because they thought I was looking at her friends butt. I was literally wearing a pink shirt with rainbow stripes and an earring. It would literally take two seconds looking at me to know that I'm gay. I just laughed and said "nah, I'm homo." And walked away. gaychicagoan
TERRIBLE.
i was at work, at the movie theater, and i waited on this group of three girls, and the ones mother.
the girl who apparently was interested in me appeared to have some bad social anxiety as she was doing everything with her mother, as her mother kept reassuring her with everything that she was doing, and that everything was okay.
so i finish waiting on them, then go into the lobby to go clean up the counters, stock lids, etc. then when i'm walking back past them, the girls friends stop me, and say
"my friend thinks you're really cute, and we were wondering if she could have your number?"
and she was sitting there with her mother, looking like she was suuuper nervous, so this made me feel TERRIBLE.
so i had to reply back with
"oh i'm sorry, i'm actually kinda... gay. i feel so bad i'm sorry, i'm sure you'll find someone though, best of luck!"
then i walked away, continuously feeling bad for this girl because she took a chance and i ended up not even liking girls oof. kylecello
Bar Trap....
GiphyI was out at a bar catching up with my siblings and a few friends when one girl started hitting on me. My sister leaned over and said "you're barking up the wrong tree there, he likes dudes". Poor girl looked so embarrassed... She didn't end the night empty handed. My brother took her home instead 😂😂 tumekeLV
A Redditor asked:
"What tattoo is a red flag?"
Names Are For Relatives Only!
"Your girlfriend’s name tattooed after only 4 weeks of the relationship."
~ ClickWorthy69420
"My younger sister got 'Mrs *boyfriend’s name*' tattooed on her wrist when she was 16 or 17. I think she made a fake birth certificate to get it."
"The boyfriend later broke up with her when she was in rehab."
~ ElderCunningham
"Hooked up with a guy who had his own name tattooed on his ribs.
"His own full name. He ended up being a psychopath."
~ not_a_milk_drinker
"I've met 3 dudes so far that have their last names tatted on them."
"Two were in the exact same Gothic font (I met them years and thousands of miles apart). One had est.[birth year] underneath it..."
"Both were huge too, one across the chest, the other across his back. Both dudes were massive tools."
"The 3rd guy had it small on his bicep and doesn't like it anymore."
~ SceretAznMan
Red Flag, Literally
"My ex husband literally got a red flag tattooed on his wrist."
"I had no idea he did it until I saw it one day. I asked why he got it and he said it was a 'reminder' to himself to not make impulsive, rash decisions."
"He filed for divorce and moved in with his mistress two months later."
"The red flag tattoo was apt as f'k, apparently."
~ allworkandnoYahtzee
GiphySuperiority Complex?
"My daughter's ex had:"
"A ring of thorns on his forehead, like he was trying to look like Jesus"
"A 'not Nazi eagle' that looked exactly like a Nazi eagle on his abdomen"
~ gareewong
Sealed With A 💋
"lipstick kiss on the neck"
~ FunklerLing
"My old neighbor had this. One night SWAT showed up..."
~ AverageSoggaEnjoyer
"My buddy had this too, he went to prison for [drug] related crimes."
~ novicemma2
"My old coworker had this too, he got fired for getting high in the freezer."
~ Eggsor
"Also had a coworker of this ilk, proudly showed videos of him shooting a teddy bear on his couch. In his apartment. Just a grade A bozo."
~ theAlphabetZebra
"I’m sensing a theme here."
~ AzathothBlindgod
GiphyCell Block Special
"I saw a woman at a water park with her toddler."
"She had a tattoo that said 'Trust no b*tches, love no hoes'."
"In my bones, I feel there is no way you could have that tattoo if you haven’t been to prison at least once."
~ MissElphie
Rule 34
"Chester Cheetah having sex with a Smurf."
~ Goldeneel77
"But which Smurf?"
~ Grouchy-Change-1219
GiphyProbably Not a Tribute to Her Father
"I met a lady with a 'Daddy' tattoo on her forehead. My gut told me right away that she was trouble."
"She went on a camping trip with us and mixed alcohol and drugs and went into an abusive rage."
"We ended up having to have the sheriff escort her out of our camp. Total sh*tshow."
~ margos2cents
It's All About Location, Location, Location
"I mean, come on, if the first warning sign about a forehead tattoo isn't that it's a FOREHEAD TATTOO, there's bigger issues at play here."
~ Buckus93
"Especially if it literally says 'POOR IMPULSE CONTROL'."
~ foxbones
Take a Bow 🎀
"I’ve never met a girl I liked with bows tattooed on the back of her thighs."
~ hatsnatcher23
Anti-Heroes, We Hope
"Tattoos of very questionable people….like Eichmann or Jeffrey Dahmer."
~ GamerGirl-07
"Or a giant back tattoo of Richard Nixon."
~ CataclysmicConverter
"That's oddly specific."
~ Even_Dark7612
"They're referring to Roger Stone, who, in fact, has a giant back tattoo of Richard Nixon."
~ The-Beer-Baron
Richard Nixon GIF by GIPHY NewsGiphyWhy Not a Brand?
"When a girl has a 'Property of (guy's name)'."
~ Redditor
Adult Swim
"I know a dude that has an odd assortment of Adult Swim characters tattooed on their back, mostly from Aqua Teen."
"They're bad in general, but the worst part is that they're just kinda placed randomly, not in a cohesive group or anything."
"Similar to how you might expect a kid to place stickers on their bedroom door because they weren't sure where else to put them."
~ LolYouFkingLoser
aqua teen hunger force GIFGiphyDad Jokes
"No ragrets."
~ NostradaMart
"That joke is so old, Jesus told it at the Last Supper."
~ Redditor
Red Flag, Literally—Part 2
"A Chinese flag tattoo is definitely a red flag."
~ Shiny_Whisper_321
"A Swiss flag is also a big plus."
~ Bragior
"An Austrian flag is a minus though."
~ Alarming_Basil6205
"A German flag is a big… um… three colored stripes?"
"This is hard...."
~ Poorly-Drawn-Beagle
Flowing China GIFGiphyArt—including body art—is subjective.
But before you get that ink, you might want to make sure it sends the message you want.
