Funny People Share Things Sure To Instantly Derail A Date[rebelmouse-image 18350136 is_animated_gif=
Dating is not for the faint of heart. Running through the muck of the yuck that is out there in the single world can drive anyone to Betty Ford in record time. It feels as though people have completely lost their minds. Literally! You give somebody a chance to only discover that dying alone is actually the life prize instead of dying by the hands of your dinner companion. Especially if they have a familiar resemblance to someone from a recent 'America's Most Wanted' episode.
Redditor _PM_Me_YourTinyBoobs needed everyone to share a couple of dating war stories by asking... _What is one thing you can say to instantly derail a date?
Are you sure this place isn't within 500 feet of a school or playground?
This is a good one wow.
Cue police sirens
WHERE'S DAD?[rebelmouse-image 18350137 is_animated_gif=
I hope it's ok I brought my mom, too.
ARE WE IN ALABAMA?[rebelmouse-image 18350138 is_animated_gif=
"You're like a brother to me. A hot sexy brother."
I was kissing a girl once when she put her hand on my chest, pushed me away slightly, and informed me that she just realized that the weird feeling she'd been suppressing all day was that I reminded her of her cousin.
All I could muster was an "Oh. Uhhh, I'm sorry?" And then she said she had to go, to which I responded that I understood. Helped her gather her stuff, turned on the porch light for her, and went back inside very confused. Makes for a hilarious story for my friends though.
SOUNDS TEMPTING...[rebelmouse-image 18350139 is_animated_gif=
Wanna come back to my mom's basement?
I MISS HER TOO AT THE MOMENT...[rebelmouse-image 18348249 is_animated_gif=
I really miss my ex, but she got a restraining order so...
You so remind me of my ex, except I hope you're not as much of a bh... now let me tell you in detail what a bh she was....
'I miss my ex, but my aim is improving'
AND MY EYES?[rebelmouse-image 18978210 is_animated_gif=
"My last date was cuter, but you at least have huge tits."
SUCH TALENT...[rebelmouse-image 18978211 is_animated_gif=
"One time I livestreamed a jar of meat from my garage as it slowly turned into a putrid sludge. Got like 50,000 views on it."
Thankfully I'm married and don't have to deal with that crap anymore.
HONESTY IS A MUST...[rebelmouse-image 18978213 is_animated_gif=
Once went on a date with a guy to a bar. It was going OK. I was just chugging away at my drink while he showed me pictures from his Facebook (exciting right?). I guess he could see I was starting to get a little out of it and then he leans in and whispers "don't worry, I'm not a creeper"
Lol nope g2g.
BUT I HAVE A COUPON![rebelmouse-image 18978215 is_animated_gif=
"It's 200 for the first hour, 150 for every hour thereafter."
"Big Brother is watching you..."
The famous words from George Orwell's dystopian novel 1984, which tells the story of a world governed by omnipresent surveillance.
Today, however, many people are under increased paranoia that their every step is being monitored by the government, or by the world's largest corporations.
Not helping their fears, is when people look back on information collected by their Google data, and see that virtually every step they've taken has been documented.
Even things some people might not remember doing themselves.
"People who downloaded their Google data and went through it, what were the most unsettling things you found out they had stored about you?"
Followed My Every Step...
"That there is a map of everywhere I went in the last couple of years that's accurate to the hour."- Crank05
Context Is Everything...
"There's an audio recording of me saying 'check the Jewish boy's penis',"
"I don't remember ever saying that but ok."- MrPingeee
They Don't Always Get It Right...
"I'm the vice-president of a company that I've never heard of, and can't find any other info on it."- leavingdirtyashes
"Apparently I sleepwalk thousands of kilometers and then manage to get back home in time for work."
"Also a bunch of recordings of my computer's fan spinning."
"Hyped up Google."
"Incompetent Google. "
"I know my data is in good hands."- CarkudoBlack And White Cartoon GIFGiphy
You Can't Erase Everything...
"If you use Google Photos and allow Maps to track your location:"
"I took photos that I didn't like, deleted them."
"Weeks later I am just browsing my timeline in Google Maps and those deleted photos are there, tagged to the location."
"Nothing incriminating, just thought you should know that a delete isn't a delete."- kinobe
They Don't Miss A Thing...
"It's not unsettling but I found out that Google can tell when I'm driving a car vs my motorcycle by using the gyroscopes in my phone."- Xtremegulp
It's Not Just Google
"It wasn’t google data that shocked me, I am kind of expecting it to know everything about me."
"This came from instagram."
"My period was very late, so naturally, I told my husband in our very private and quiet home setting, and bought a Clearblue pregnancy test."
"We don’t own tv, Amazon Alexa , google voice or similar."
"I just have reddit and Instagram on my smartphone."
"My period was just late, but the very next day I got bombarded by ads on Instagram about Clearblue and other pregnancy sticks and some other baby sh*t."
"There is no way that it was a coincidence since it was the second time getting a very, very specific ad."
"So the app is listening, and showing me ads accordingly."- lagattacaBlood Celebrate GIF by Halfsquare DesignsGiphy
"Recordings of conversations with my boss over two years."
"I don't know why it only had recordings of us talking and no one else."- FiveOhFive91
Careful What You Say...
"Definitely the voice recordings."
"That should be turned off by default instead of needing to be changed by the user."- mahoujosei100
They Waste No Time...
"All phone activity, opened app, closed app etc, from the very first day I owned my phone, constant check of my GPS, constant check of my device orientation."
"If someone steals your google account, they basically can found out everything there is to find out about you."- linecraftmanWho Dis Star Wars GIF by LEGOGiphy
It is helpful to have an online cloud to store things, saving you paper and stress of remembering where you put it.
What's a bit frightening is that Google and other services are starting to get one step ahead of us when it comes to what they document.
Leaving one to wonder if Big Brother is, in fact, watching us…
Even if they sometimes appear less than excited to go to school, children are always eager to learn.
As they will encounter new experiences with each passing year, resulting in parents and other adults being bombarded by new questions regularly.
Most frequently, if not necessarily intentionally, as a delay tactic before going to bed.
Which is when it's important for the parent, grandparent, or babysitter who's in charge of bedtime to come up with one, exceptionally satisfying fact which will give them plenty to think about, or dream about, after the lights are turned off.
"What mind-blowing (but simple) facts would satisfy a 4-year old daughter’s daily request for 1 fact before bedtime?"
They Miss You When You're Gone...
"Dogs can tell when you're coming home by how much of your scent is left in the house if you have a daily routine."- babiferari
Even Bigger Hugs!
"Most people have more than the average number of arms."- Lord_AdGnalDiv
The Longest Days...
"A day on Venus takes longer to complete than a year on Venus."
"It simply takes longer for Venus to do one complete rotation around its own axis than it does for the planet to rotate around the sun."
"From my memory I believe it’s only like 10-15 days difference."
"But still an interesting fact."
"Another fun fact is Aluminum used to be such a precious metal, and so expensive, that the top point of the Washington Monument is made of pure aluminum."
"At the time of construction, that aluminum would be about like capping it with platinum today."- AmerisaurausRexVenus GIF by The TelegraphGiphy
Otters Are Avid Collectors!
"Otters have skin pockets for their favorite rocks."- CryoWreck
Bears Are A Warm Source Of Inspiration
"The name for the Arctic comes from the ancient Greek word for bear - arktos."
"Named after one of the constellations Ursa Major (Big Bear) or Ursa Minor (Little Bear), but there are bears living there too."
"So basically, the Arctic is called 'Bear', and the Antarctic is called 'Not Bear'."- B3ximus
The Science Behind The Colors
"A Siamese cats fur color is dependent on its body temperature."
"That’s why the colder areas of the body such as the nose, paws, and tail are darker than the rest."- MudSlappersHere I Come Love GIF by La Guarimba Film FestivalGiphy
You Think Elephants Are So Big...
"Most elephants weigh less than a blue whale’s tongue!."- Delica
Frogs Come To The Age Of Spiders
"Some species of burrowing spiders keep teeny tiny frogs in their burrows to keep it free of bugs too small for the spider to get that might try to eat the spider's eggs."
"This means that tiny frogs are spider cats."- The_First_Viking
There's A Reason They Decided It Wasn't A Planet
"From the time Pluto was discovered until the time it was demoted from planethood, it still hadn't made one complete revolution around the sun."- gruenomsPluto Flyby GIFGiphy
They're Meant To Come In Pairs
"In Switzerland, it's illegal to own just one guinea pig."
"If you have any, you have to have at least two."
"They get lonely!"- Dickcheese_McDoogles
Even the minds of grown-ups would be blown by most of these facts.
Though still best to proceed with caution, as some of these will likely be met with more questions, thus prolonging bedtime.
Or you might find yourselves needing to buy not one, but two guinea pigs...
Who would have predicted the endless source of entertainment and fascination the Internet provides.
With countless websites where one can shop, watch movies, catch up on news, play games... and do just about anything.
Of course, some of the better known websites, such as Amazon, YouTube, Facebook and Google are likely visited by just about everyone every so often.
But practical and entertaining as the world's most visited websites are, that doesn't necessarily make them the most interesting.
Should one find themselves going down an internet rabbit hole, as we all do every so often, we might discover a unique, truly fascinating website which might cater to our personal hobbies or interests, or simply catches our attention for inexplicable reasons.
"What is the coolest website you’ve visited that no one knows about?"
A Welcome Dilemma.
"It's an interactive website that showcases what makes the Prisoner's Dilemma cool."- Kinetic_Cucumber
United States Of Ham
"My high school substitute's son is an artist who painted each US President holding a ham."
"I have no idea why, but I go there sometimes for a laugh."- 1fsh2fshRdtFshBluFsh
For Those Sick Of 'Charlie Bit My Finger'...
"Search for unlisted YouTube videos."- ordinotGiphy
We're Watching YOU!
"Not sure if it's still maintained but Little Sis was 'an involuntary Facebook for the elite'."
"You click a politician, donor, celeb and it shows you who are they connected to and the strength of the connection."
"You can get an easy picture of what donors, think tanks, and politicians are really beholden to."
"Apparently it's thriving since I last saw it."
"Ever puzzled by a random pardon, an idiotic switch in foreign policy, or who a cabinet member is?"
"Try it out."
A Break From Scammers!
"This website instantly gives you a new, unused e-mail."- RidoKer
Before Gamers Catch On...
"The Candy Box 2 is one of the best websites out there."
"It's an RPG style quest, made completely of text and symbols."- Coolest_Cat_In_TownValentines Day Love GIF by kate spade new yorkGiphy
Creating A Perfect World
"Online nation simulator."
"The core of the game is pretty simple; answer multiple-choice issues that appear once every 6 hours."
"Depending on what you pick, the stats of your nation, everything from cheese exports to citizen rudeness, will change."
"The fun really starts on the forums, IMO."- somewhereoutinspace
Too Many To Name!
"ms paint emulator."
"neal.fun." - Reddit
The Whole World At Your Ears
"Listen to radio stations from any country on the planet."
"KPOP from Seoul? "
"JPOP from Tokyo?"
"Want to marvel at the fact that everyone and their dog has a radio station in the Netherlands and Belgium?"
"If you can wade through all the English-language stations in basically every country, language learners can find tons of stations to help their listening skills in their language of choice."
"Living in a different country from your home but want to listen to the radio from home?"
"Hop on and see if the station has been added."- h3lblad3Mickey Mouse Disney GIFGiphy
When You Gave Up Trying To Find That Game You Loved...
"This website has over 6000+ Old DOS/Windows and Console games preserved for future generations."
"The website is free to use and tuhe games can be played directly through the browser."
"I personally used the site to relive Warcraft 2 and had a blast."- MartinSKjoedt
The possibilities really do seem endless when it comes to what you can find on the internet.
For better or for worse.
Though for the first several months of 2020, one imagines each new unusual website discovery was like opening a present on Christmas morning.
And more are destined to come...
As a kid, it’s easy to make friends. You don’t need to do much. Just share your pudding snack pack or make mud pies, and you have a new best friend.
As an adult, it can seem harder. You can’t really make mud pies anymore (in fact, that may be a way to drive off friends), and adults are a lot less open than kids, so it can be difficult to develop a rapport.
However, it’s not as hard as it seems to make friends, even as an adult. If you’re struggling, or even just looking for new ways to meet people, Reddit has got you covered!
Redditor BLANK asked:
"How the F do you make friends as an adult if you don't drink?"
"If you like doing things with your hands(wood/metal work/fabrics, etc...), electronics, or programming, hacker/makerspaces are great, they usually have themed events and classes, as well as social events, that's where I made my current friends when I moved to a new city."
"I'm 35. In the last 10 years I can honestly say I have 1 or 2 friends that I've kept close contact with. I started getting back into collecting sports cards right before the pandemic hit. Thru sharing my passion thru IG I have made probably at least 20 (online) friends and a few local friends now that I talk to every day and not just about our favorite hobby. Sh*t is weird."
"Volunteering is a great way to make friends as an adult. I was an Alcoholic and one of the hardest parts about stopping drinking was this exact thing, I was worried I would forever be alone if I didn’t meet people in bars anymore. Then I found volunteering. Working in a career field with similar people is also amazing."
Not Exactly A Hole In One
"Borrow tools and actually give them back"
"Who am I borrowing tools from if I don't already have friends?"
"I've got to consider you a top tier friend before I'm lending you any tools."
"Step 1. Own or borrow a dog."
"Step 2. Go to a dog park."
"Step 3. Use dog as wingman to make friends at dog park."
Let's Do An Activity
"In my experience, adults don't want friends. They want activity partners. Pick an activity that you enjoy doing, find some people to do it with. If you're lucky, some friendships will organically arise from that. If you're REALLY lucky, they'll even stay friends with you after one or both of you stop doing that activity."
"But mostly, people just want activity partners."
Keep On Moving
Climbing, archery, martial arts, European Martial Arts. Historical re-enactment, book and theater clubs."
"Coffee clubs, or book clubs"
"Honestly? Being a part of a fandom. Found most of my close friends through either work or fandoms. For me it's kpop, musicals, DnD, etc You just need to find your people :)"
Yummy In My Tummy!
"I cook for people. Invite a few people you know for dinner or a bbq. Ive moved cities and countries several times and 1 thing i learnt is everyone loves good food!"
It can be hard to make friends as an adult, but as long as you get out in the world and find those you vibe with, you’ll never be alone!