People Share The Funniest Things Their Partner Has Ever Said Or Done In Their Sleep
Here's a fun fact: I used to sleepwalk as a child. It didn't happen often, but when it did, it was always a shock. I once woke up to my mother's prodding because she'd witnessed me leaving my bedroom and moving to sleep on the living room sofa. Another time, I went down to the basement and started snacking on stuff in the pantry. I'm pretty sure this only happened a handful of times (if that) and it hasn't happened since. My sleepwalking experiences still make for funny stories, however.
Now imagine being in a long-term relationship with someone who's a sleepwalker or often talks in their sleep. The results can be hilarious, as we discovered once Redditor hoeka_moss asked the online community,
"And I went back to bed."
My wife will tell me the next day when I do this.
Her favourite story to tell is that she woke up in the middle of the night to find me slowly walking out of our bedroom. Wife: "Are you ok? What are you doing?" Me: "There's somebody downstairs in the kitchen, unrolling the tinfoil" Wife: "Ooooo-Kay. What's your plan?" Me: "I'm going to stop them" Wife: "Shall we get a bit more sleep then both go down together?" Me: "Ok".
And I went back to bed.
Subsequent investigations found a small plastic bag on the floor, near my head, being rustled by the movement of the curtain, the window being open.
"He farted very loudly..."
He farted very loudly and proceeded to say, "You got the wrong guy."
"She has no recollection of this."
My girl woke up one night and said "Did you find your rocks?" and I asked her what she was talking about and she said, "I don't know, I'm just trying to make conversation," and promptly went back to sleep.
She has no recollection of this.
My boyfriend woke me up the other day by gently putting his fingers in my mouth and I kept moving my head out of the way until eventually I was like, "Can you stop that!!!"
He then sounded genuinely upset and asked why I woke him up as he was having a really nice dream about feeding a deer. Brilliant.
"So either he is mad..."
Sigh; my boyfriend either recites postcodes (delivery driver) or calls the dog in his sleep. So either he is mad no one is responding to his postcode nonsense or I get a flying 30kg dog to my body.
"My aunt likes to tell me the story..."
My aunt likes to tell the story about her and my cousin sharing a hotel room one time. My aunt woke up having to pee, and found my cousin sitting up in bed with her arms folded across her abdomen, kind of rocking back and forth and giggling quietly. When my aunt asked her what she was doing, my cousin said, "I'm holding a baby and it has an adult smile!"
I found this story deeply unsettling.
"My wife started screaming one night..."
My wife started screaming one night that she was lost in the local grocery store. And that no matter where she went she couldn't find her way out. I asked her has she tried checking out at the cash registers? She then looked at me and said in her most sincere voice, "That's why you are the smartest person I know." And she rolled over and fell back asleep.
One night, my boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night, tapping me on my shoulder. He put his finger on his mouth, whispered "shush" to me, then pointed at the door and told me "I can hear something, don't move." Predictably, I nearly s*** my pants. All the worst possible scenarios crossed my mind, and the moment of silence after he shushed me felt like hours. Then, he started waving his hands and talking about tetris, 'the twirlies' (idk), and making sure we don't align... And that's how I learnt my boyfriend talks in his sleep.
Not my current partner but my ex-boyfriend sometimes talks in his sleep and the funniest story was this one time i was still up reading a book and i hadn't noticed that he was already asleep next to me. Suddenly he bursts out " Will you just give me the f*cking yogurt already, Shannon!?" in a flawless british accent and scares the s*** out of me.
We're both german and none of our first languages include English. We didn't know a Shannon. He's lactose-intolerant.
Ex-roommate talked in his sleep. Once, he cried out, "NO GANDALF!"
"No idea what I might have been..."
Not a partner, but me: a few nights ago I apparently said, out of nowhere, "My teeth have lost their fear."
No idea what I might have been dreaming about, and I don't think I want to know.
In college, this guy wakes up all the roommates by yelling "I'll be Charles Manson!"
He swears he was having a dream about putting on a play and noone else wanted the part, and he was just trying to be helpful.
"One night my husband..."
One night my husband was poking me on the shoulder in his sleep, I woke up and said "Huh, you ok?" Then he goes "Ooooooh, what is in your hand? A penny?!?!?" Then he laid back down to sleep.
"I then fell back asleep."
My wife has had nightmares for most of her life. When we first started sleeping in the same bed, she told me that one night i rolled over, looked at her and said "She's here."
I then fell back asleep. She was terrified and didn't sleep for the rest of the night.
"When I was three..."
When I was three, my father jumped up out of bed screaming, "No! No! Rattlesnakes!" Of course he scared my mother half to death.
He then ran into my bedroom to 'save' me. He grabbed me out of my crib and half threw me to my mother. He collapsed on the floor screaming, "They're all biting me. Help! Oh God, I'm dying!'
My grandmother, my mother's mother, who was visiting, ran in and threw a bucket of water on my father. My father woke up, lying on my bedroom floor, soaking wet, and confused. When he asked what happened, my grandmother said, "My daughter married a dumb ass," and went back to bed.
"I woke up to find..."
I woke up to find my former girlfriend sitting in the closet crossed-legged with the light on, going through dresses at three in the morning. I asked her what she was doing, and she said she was "getting ready as fast as she could" before she started to cry a little. Then she climbed back into bed, never waking up, and has no memory of any of it. I, on the other hand, spent the next two hours in the dark wondering about unknowing pressures I place on other people.
We're engaged now.
"My husband will periodically..."
My husband will periodically tell me he loves me and goes back to sleep. Super sweet.
"She just went around in circle."
My fiancé loves Super Mario 64 so I was playing on the DS one night and she just started mumbling about getting a star somewhere so she grabs the DS with both hands and started playing while not even holding the DS remotely close to her face. She just went around in circles. She will also ask for and eat chocolate in her sleep if I feed it to her.
"My first time sleeping over..."
My first time sleeping over at my now boyfriend's house (we had been dating for two weeks at the time) he thought there were giant spiders on the bed and lifted me up bridal style before throwing me across the room. That my first introduction to his night terrors.
"Before I went to bed..."
I did sleep pushups.
Before I went to bed, I was reading this book about inspirational CEOs taking risks to grow their business. I went to sleep and in the middle of the night, I turned over, leaned over my girlfriend, did three pushups right on top of her, giving her a kiss when I was down, and proceeded to say "You gotta take more risks." And went back to sleep.
Most people can be very guarded because of their vulnerabilities, even if you think you know them really well.
These disconcerting memories or character traits are better left undisclosed, for they can be painful for individuals to revisit or acknowledge.
On the other hand, opening up about these disturbing facts can also be therapeutic as long as they are revealed anonymously.
And the opportunity for strangers online to unburden themselves arose when Redditor _Lord_Infamous asked:
"What is a scary, unsettling fact about you?"
Certain facts about these Redditors are perplexing.
"I do not actually remember a decent chunk of my life, whenever I talk about most of my childhood I use words that leave room for mistakes and am generally using memories and ideas I've compiled from hearing other people say things about me."
"There is actually a large chunks of facts about myself that I only think I know, and don't have personal confirmation of."
Dead Or Alive
"I’m convinced with no evidence that my father is still alive and that my whole family is lying to me. I logically know he is not. But every knock on the door I open half expecting my father. Could be something to work through … but it’s not really affecting me day to day. My grandfather died and I thought I would feel the same way. Nope. He is dead and I miss him but he is dead."
Warning: Self-Harm Trigger
"Growing up I had a recurring nightmare set in my grandparents backyard looking at the back of their house. There was just something 'off' about the house. Something mildly sinister. I dreamt this over and over, many times over the years."
"In 2018, my dad (who now owned the house) went into the backyard to that spot and killed himself."
"I haven’t had the backyard dream since."
Nightmares Come True
"I had a recurring super vivid intense dream at like 4.... my uncle was chasing us around a labyrinth with a large knife... trying to kill me and my grandmother. 25 or so years later the same uncle (complete paranoid delusional schizophrenic) murders my grandmother at her condo... with the very nice chef knife I bought her for Christmas the year before..."
"Less scary and more shocking, but when I was 9 years old I survived a home invasion where I was shot 6 times. I played dead on the floor until the man left and called 911 and in my adrenaline rush I thought they couldn't find my house so I crawled with my left are swinging the wrong way and my right leg limp from nerve damage, all the way to the front door when he broke in from the back of the house."
"I lived with only my mother who unfortunately didn't survive. I vividly remember picking out the guy in a photo line up while recovering in the ICU."
"I am very lucky to have kept my left arm, I have 32 pins and screws to make up for my shattered elbow. My left leg has permanent nerve damage and I now have 'drop foot'. Despite my physical injuries and PTSD, I am doing very well."
We are not all born the same.
"I'm one of the lucky few with the CCR5-delta-32 mutation. Why is that relevant? It makes me immune to HIV and a handful of other pathogens, most notably the Bubonic Plague."
"I have 2 lenses in my right eye, so it focuses like binoculars. My doctor wrote a paper about it. Mostly blinded as a baby in my left eye. Dr suspected my right lense split then healed as 2 distinct lenses. Better than 20/20 in my right eye."
"When I was born, I was so premature that my dad, who had quite dainty piano fingers, could slide his wedding ring up my arm to my shoulder. (I weighed 2 lbs, born at 27 weeks)."
"I had 6 toes on each foot at birth and got them cut off you can see the place they cut them at."
People live with the unfortunate risk that their lives can be cut short at any given moment.
Ticking Time Bomb
"I have an enlarged aortic root. It's very unlikely, but it could spontaneously rupture leading to the medical term adjusts glasses... 'instantaneous death'. I would pass out, bleed to death, and then fall over. Dead before hitting the ground. And it could happen at any time. My wife is very uncomfortable thinking about it lol."
For The Sake Of Survival
"my immune system backfired and tried to murder me and almost succeeded. I now have to take multiple injections every single day all day or i'll die a painful death within a week."
"Just trying to write diabetes in the most bad-a** way."
A friend of mine once told me that the name I've known him by was not his real name.
He had gone by an alias, which everyone at work assumed was his actual name, to protect himself and his identity after he had been violently hunted down, stalked and threatened for his life for witnessing a murder.
The suspects involved were eventually caught and locked away for good.
I don't remember all the other details about the traumatizing incident because I was completely stupefied.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
We never leave two movies feeling the same way.
In some cases, we are so moved by what we just saw, that we are sobbing so loudly, we're getting concerned looks from our fellow moviegoers.
In other cases, we waste no time in leaving, as we have just spent two hours or so of our lives we'll never get back again watching something which could have been made by second graders.
And then, there are the times when we leave the theatre, and all we can think is, "what the f*ck?"
Not necessarily because it was bad, but because we can't process exactly what we just saw.
It could be something we can appreciate more over time, with repeat viewings... how many views did it take you to fully understand Inception? Be honest!
Or, we are befuddled beyond words as to how such an inane, amateurish creation ever saw the light of day.
"What is your "WTF did I just watch?" movie?"
Dystopian Doesn't Even Begin To Describe It
"You have a certain time to become married and if you fail to find a spouse you get sent to an asylum where you must find a spouse from among the other singles."
"If you again fail to find a partner, you must choose which animal you want to be turned into, and then they turn you into that animal."- Leemage
Chloë Sevigny Knows How To Pick Them...
A Podcaster's Worst Nightmare
With A Title Like That...
"Antichrist."- EwoksEwoksEwoksWillem Dafoe Smile GIFGiphy
Only 67 Minutes... But Plenty Of Gore
"Tetsuo the Ironman (would very strongly not recommend for people with weak stomachs)."- PeruvianPolarbear14
A Homicidal Car Tire... Yes You Read That Correctly...
Beyond Love, Beyond Death...
Glad It Didn't Disappoint... I Guess?
"Salo, or 120 days of Sodom."
"Granted, I had a phase where I was purposely looking for disturbing movies and this one sure didn't disappoint."- Reddit
Was The Title An Actual Apology?
"Sorry to bother you."- kappaidan
Darren Aronofsky At His Strangest...
"Mother."- dank-yharnam-nugsjennifer lawrence mother movie GIF by mother!Giphy
Meet The Parents gone wrong...
"I'm Thinking of Ending Things."- Vandalatwork
Charlie Kaufman Strikes Again!
"Being John Malkovich."- getlough
Not The Kind You're Thinking Of...
"Teeth."- timyorbaHappy Dance GIF by benjamin lemoineGiphy
One thing that can be said about all these movies, those who see them will never forget them.
Which may or may not be a good thing...
Now, which film should we add to this list?
Franklin D. Roosevelt once famously said, "the only thing we have to fear is fear itself."
Words of encouragement to all Americans during his inaugural address, as America was in the midst of the great depression, with countless people having lost their jobs, their homes, and even their will to live.
While America did, indeed, bounce back, it hasn't stopped people from constantly living in fear.
Sadly, we're not talking about unfounded fears, such as ghosts or superstitions.
Unfortunately, there is plenty to be afraid of in this world, and horrifying evidence to prove it.
"What is a fact that scares you?"
"That something like close to half of murders reported in the US are never solved."
"That’s just of the reported ones."- YAYtersalad
It Could Happen To Anyone
"Any day, you could have a stroke and lose all your autonomy and become as dependant as a baby."- FrenchMaisNon
"That any of us could have a brain aneurysm right now and not even know it's coming."- becomingNope
Just The Way Things Work
"The number of people older than me will never increase."- Vinny_Lam
At Least You Wouldn't Feel It?
"For some reason, the fact that you poop/pee yourself when you die."
"I know that it won’t matter because I’ll be dead, anyway, but I’ve always been weirded out by that."- EllieK24601
Cherish Your Time Together
"That my parents and grandparents are slowly getting older and it's just a matter of time before I start losing them all one by one and there's nothing I can do about it."- Kysman95
When Nothing Ever Seems To Be Alright...
"I logically know I am fine, but my anxiety won’t let me accept that."- HotSpicedChai
Next Time you Think About Putting It Out There To The Universe...
"That outside of our planet, zero of our achievements/history/language/currency matters."
'It can all be erased in a second and there would be no knowledge of us ever existing in the first place to anyone else in the universe."
"We are meaningless outside of this sphere."- EmergencyNoodlePack
It Really Doesn't Seem That Long
"We only live for about 4,000 weeks."-_Light_The_Way
"That Dopplegangers exist."
"They say that there are at least a couple people in the world that look exactly like you without being blood related and I met mine."
"He was a f*cking criminal and got into trouble so many times with the law that I myself had been mistaken for him three times."
"The only difference was me having sleeves."
"My tattoos saved me from being mistaken for him."
"I was brought in and put in a lineup, and she said herself, 'that looks like him, but he doesn’t have a single tattoo'."
"4 hours later they found him and the sheriff’s department was dumbfounded that we weren’t twins."
"Like looking in a mirror."
"I was released, and a more than needed apology was given by the chief of police and arresting officer."- TinyoneT33
They Need Something To Keep Them Going
"The most well-educated and intelligent people are also those most afflicted with issues like despair, depression, and existential crises."
"Reality is a nightmare of horrors lying just beneath the surface, and the more aware of how things really work you are the more truly miserable you are, generally."- Emperor_Cartagia
It Could Be Comforting?
"When I die, I will be able to hear what people are saying, my last bit of brain activity will be processing those words or sounds and they will be echoed into my forever dream."
"Hope nobody says anything f*cked up.
"According to recent studies, auditory stimulus is the last sense to be lost, it's anticipated that people actually listen long enough to hear they’re pronounced dead."- TheUpsideDownWorlds·
Where Does The Time Go?
"The fact that the past 10 years of my life have flown by, and it means I got about a decade before I become the same age as my parents when I was born."
"Meaning that I’m just slowly going to age till it’s time for me to pass."
"And I still don’t even know why I’m living or what I want to do, or even feel like I’m happy."- Unhookingsnow6
"I've lived over half my life already."- Lucky-11
It's hard not to be scared by any or all of these facts.
But being afraid of just about anything almost never does anyone any good, as there is also plenty in this world to be hopeful and optimistic about.
As famously quipped in Baz Luhrmann's classic Strictly Ballroom, "A life lived in fear is a life half lived."
Every generation has its own trends.
As a millennial, I’ll be the first to admit we had our fair share of silly or stupid trends.
Remember the cinnamon challenge? Or all the Harlem Shake videos? We were not the brightest crayons in the box.
Girls wore only skinny jeans, boys adopted Justin Beiber’s side-swept haircut, and we spent more time on YouTube than any other social media site.
Those who belong to Generation Z think we were pretty stupid too, but everyone else thinks Gen Z have their fair share of weird trends. Tide pods, anyone?
If we turn to Reddit, those Gen Z trends can be easily identified.
Curious to find out more, Redditor Distinct_Bee_4580 asked:
“What’s a trend among Gen Zs you find weird?”
"Documenting themselves committing crimes then posting them to social media."
"was at a (car) accident reconstruction engineering office this summer and a 20 ish yo guy drove of the edge of the road and died and his snap story from the night was a video of his speedometer at 100+ in the dark in the rain and he was bragging that he was going fast (and also drunk)"
Look How Stupid I Am!
"They film EVERYTHING"
"I went out drinking with a mixed age group. We got silly drunk, and had a good time. A few months later, one of the younger girls posted a "hilarous" video of me blackout drunk and acting stupid. Nothing illegal, just embarrassing. It was horrifying. Like, why would you video someone that vulnerable, and then put it out in public? Like, what other videos did they take? She took it down, but didn't understand at all why I was so angry at her - because "she posted dumber sh*t of herself all the time!""
"Never again. I'll just stick with my older friends who know not to film anyone doing stupid sh*t."
"this. gen z getting themselves fired from work over tiktoks is such a common occurrence."
"Gen Z here. Romanticization of mental illness or crime."
"fr it’s embarrassing because they treat it like it’s a competition or something quirky like… no it’s not? stop making your mental illnesses your only personality traits"
Evolution Of Hair
"Brocoli haircut. Will definitely age like milk"
"Ahh the “Meet me at mcdonald's haircut”, no seriously that’s it name, you can google it"
Like e.e. cummings
"Finally I can ask this. Why do a large amount of gen Z's not use capital letters? Is capitalization going the way of cursive writing?"
"It's probably because of texting. Over time, texting with capitalized letters became seen as too formal, and people began to intentionally remove capitalization to seem more laid-back and informal."
"Millennial here and a lot of people my age used to not use capital letters either in our early twenties. Might be regional, might just be a general "trying hard to appear chill" kind of thing"
Use A Dictionary
"Saying gaslighting every f*cking day with no comprehension of the word."
"I know what it means stop gaslighting me"
Here's My Life Story
"Oversharing personal struggles, overdramatizing common anxieties/struggles, and flaunting "going to therapy" to the point where it's clearly a means of seeking attention and staying relevant."
"On a related note, since I see it on dating apps all the time, when every other bio puts "going to therapy" as a green flag. Like yeah, that should be normalized, but mental health practices are turning into a new form of virtue signaling."
"Bothering people just trying to go about their day in the name of "pranking.""
"I've seen one that regularly goes into a store like Home Depot and pretends to be an employee and then films the real employees who seem to be going a little overboard in their reactions; but I'm just like this poor guy is just trying to get through his workday without this bullsh*t."
"I just saw a man was getting charges pressed against him for attacking a kid that was "pretending to steal his luggage as a prank." The 'prankee' grabbed the kid by the hair and probably did go a little overboard but the number of comments I saw defending the kid amazed me. JUST LEAVE PEOPLE ALONE!!"
Feel The Beat
"Stupid Tik tok dances"
"At least they're getting some exercise"
"Trying to “cancel” singers/rappers/actors for things they said 30 years ago when social norms were different"
"Gen z is the most pretentious moralistic and puritanical gen since maybe the lost gen"
The Capacity To Care
"For me it’s the insinuation that I’m supposed to care about every problem/issue in the world. It’s not realistic- we as humans don’t have the emotional bandwidth to care or even keep track of all the issues in todays world. Social media is constantly bombarding these kids with the most recent catastrophe and everyone is expected to be an activist for it until the news cycle breaks. Pick an issue you’re passionate about and do something, but letting every atrocity in the world affect your emotional state is counter-productive and makes you feel like the boot is against your neck at all times"
"My opinion is that this contributes to the rise of mental health issues like depression-"
Let People Be Who They Are
"Queer discourse. Not in general, but the way I see now. People fighting each other over Pronouns, attacking each other because they don't believe someone else should go by the label they use."
"It feels like the LGBTQ community is running around in circles, nibbling at its tail and not realising its bleeding to death."
Cause And Effect
"For me it's claiming everything as abuse..."
"*got punished for doing or not doing something they were told/asked to do or not do a thousand times... gets punished... that's abuse... wtf... actions and inaction have consequences... Don't want the consequence then don't do or do what I asked/ told you to do or not do... It was that simple when I was growing up..."
The Internet Can't Help You
"As a gen-z myself, I'm also confused on why everything has to be posted on social media:"
""OMG I'm gonna die 😭😭😭""
""He made it into my house 😭😒🥺🥺""
""Idk what I should do now 😔😔😟😭😓""
"So you decided to post about it on social media rather then calling the police or ANYONE ELSE FOR HELP?"
"Or the other way around"
""Look what a fun life I have, I'm here on the mountains with my entire family" nobody is home for 2 weeks pls come rob me"
"They are really the first generation with the capability to do that easily. They’re like the oldest siblings who makes all the mistakes so the younger ones can learn from it. I salute their sacrifice."
Do you have any trends to add? Let us know in the comments below!