The things we hear in an ordinary moment can change the course of our lives. When we pretend we're not listening and we really are.... well that is the most exciting part of a lot days. The conversations from strangers are beyond fascinating, It's like a tangible soap opera. Sadly we have to follow strangers home to know how it ends... which isn't impossible.
Redditor u/Eta5678 wanted all the strangers out there to discuss their encounters.... Reddit, whats the funniest thing that a random stranger said to you that made you die laughing inside?
I was helping a customer pick out a new bra and she said she wanted her breasts to be lifted. She said, "my boobs are so saggy that if my nipples were eyeballs, I'd be able to see if my shoes were untied."
I really tried my best to remain professional but I couldn't stop laughing lol. BurkaBurrito
I was in the drive thru of a Wendy's one time. An employee exited the building with his headphones on and was singing Who Let The Dogs Out at the top of his lungs. He saw me, stopped singing, and started walking away. A few seconds later he come up to my window and said, "yes, that is what I'm listening to." Then he walked away. I laughed so hard at the whole situation. JonoTheDog
To Hell and Back!
Okay, the laughter was not entirely inside, but years ago on the subway in NY, a crazy dude walks on the train and screams at everyone "You're all going to hell!" and then steps off as the doors close. Total silence as the weirdness of the moment settles in. Then, without missing a beat, guy across from me goes, "I thought this train was going to Harlem." Entire subway car of cynical New Yorkers bursts out laughing. jimcol
I hate socks...
I must've been about 10 or 11. I sat down on a bench next to an old guy to sort my shoe out. I took my shoe off and he just turns to me and says "are they golfing socks?" I look at him with a completely blank look on my face thinking "wtf??" as I looked away he just said "there's a hole in one." WinningToad
Was leaving Walmart and the 80ish year old greeter says "Thanks for shopping at Dollar Tree!"brookski_lee
I Smell That!
Movie just ended, me and my dad join the mad rush to to the bathrooms, urinals are packed, its our turn we doing our business, suddenly someone rips a hugggge fart, lol its pretty funny but we all have manners, still peeing, suddenly this dude proclaims, "IT WAS MEEEEE" and runs out the door. Whole bathroom erupts in laughter. dodo_gogo
A few years ago I let my friend cut my hair... it did not go well.
I was living in Philadelphia at the time and was walking through South Philly when I passed two strangers in the middle of the conversation. As I pass, one of them says to the other: "Hold up, I gotta talk to this guy." He precedes to shout to me: "Aaayo! Your hair looks like S**T. Come over here."
I was amused, partially because of his bluntness and partially because he wasn't wrong. I was curious, so I walked over to him. He says: "Look, a buddy of mine owns a barber shop two blocks away. Here's his business card--I'll write my name on there, if you mention that I sent you he'll give you a good deal. Bruh, but seriously take care of that s**t."
I never ended up going to his friend's shop, but I frequently use this story as the perfect example of Philly culture: rude, blunt & in your face yet somehow coming from a place of genuine care. Plus, it's hilarious. trustfundbabelfish
May of 2000, passing through Norwood Louisiana with a friend, at around 2 in the afternoon we stopped to gas up/grab some snacks at the most podunk gas station known to man.
A young man, extremely agitated comes in with frustrated gestures and angrily shouts/gestures at the cashier with an accent that is beyond region, beyond stereotyping, beyond anything I have heard before:
"Where da' got damned wally-mellyons at!!" at the top of lungs, approaching hysteria and tears. official_fox_news
A few months ago I was waiting at a road crossing with loads of other strangers, waiting for the man to turn green. This was a busy main road in my city.
A little girl on the other side of the road did THE MOST ACCURATE IMPRESSION of the 'beep beep' that the crossing makes so blind people know it's safe to cross, and the entire crowd of people just stepped into the road. I had seen her do it, so I stayed put, but I couldn't stop laughing. My girlfriend was confused.
50 adults pranked by one absolute genius 6ish year old. It was magical. kingbluetit
Met a guy while camping a few years ago. He told us, matter of factly, that he was a "Redneck hippie" back in the 60's.. He was "there for the sex and the drugs, but not so much that love and peace stuff." We still crack up about that. PursuitOfMuchness
I work in retail, and I'm not sure why, but this had me dying for a while. I still laugh when I think about it.
Me: "How you doing today, sir?"
And he went on his way. RiSET0FaLL
Met a guy while camping a few years ago. He told us, matter of factly, that he was a "Redneck hippie" back in the 60's.. He was "there for the sex and the drugs, but not so much that love and peace crap." We still crack up about that. PursuitOfMuchness
An old man on the street with a big, jack-o-lantern grin on his face and two Chihuahuas under each arm loudly proclaiming to no one in particular, "I used to carry grenades! Now I carry dogs!" NightOnTheSun
Smells like pee...
Worked at a smoke shop that sold electronic cigarettes years ago. A customer came in complaining that the new flavor made her pee smell funny. I couldn't keep a straight face when I said I wasn't sure if that was related. Then she says, "Oh, well it could be an STD or something I guess...Thanks!" and walked out. oppapi666
Off with your leg!
The time I was waiting for takeout and the amputee owner struck up a convo. "My friend, you have to be really careful if you ever get shot in the knee or any leg bone. They don't warn you that you can't have sex for months. One night you're taking home a beautiful girl to show her your scars and the next morning your leg's gone." walnut100
Flames! On the side of my face!Giphy
When i was about 8 yrs old (40 some odd yrs ago) my mother and i were waiting to be seated at a restaurant, and an older gentleman was ahead of us also waiting. The waitress asked him if he'd be smoking (back when that was still a thing in restaurants), and he replied "no, but i may burst into flames later." Young me laughed all through lunch at that, in fact it still makes me giggle lol. SweetBabyJesus99
Help the blind....Giphy
Something I overheard as two kids walked past our caravan park site: A rumbling boom of distant thunder.
Kid 1: "I like thunder. It sounds like a 200 year old dog who's retired and helps old people who are blind to get around."
Kid 2: (silence)
Kid 1: "You know?"
Kid 2: "But why is it retired?"
Kid 1: "Because it's old."
Kid 2: "But it's still helping blind people."
Kid 1: (silence) actualchad
When I was a freshmen in college I had a pair of rainbow bellbottoms I made and wore a lot. I walking through the city back to the dorms when a guy rode up behind me on a bicycle. He was old, had long, scraggly gray hair and a bright red and yellow windsuit on. He rode beside me for a second, stared and then yelled "Miss your pants are hot....HWAAAAT" and the rode away into the sunset. It was so random and hilarious. Every time I wore those pants my friends would run up behind me and yell "Your pants are HWAT" -StarrySky-
No so much said to me as overheard. Walking down the street with my fianceè after dinner, a man and woman pass us. Very clearly I heard the man say:
"... and that's the second time I got crabs. I just keep a special little comb at the house now, just in case."
I'm not sure of any particulars and have thought about that interaction often. So many questions, I know they heard me laugh though. kbig22432
Suck it Down!Giphy
I used to be a smoker. One time a scruffy looking man asked me for a light. I told him I only had matches. (It was very windy) He said, "that's ok, there's a trick to it. You light the match and then suck down real hard. You get a mouth full of sulfur that way, but you gotta have a trick when you're going thirty miles an hour on top of a tank."emken23
- People Share The Funniest Thing A Child Has Ever Said To Them - George Takei ›
- Teachers Describe The Funniest Thing They Witnessed But Had To Hold Their Laughter In - George Takei ›
- People Describe The One Stranger They'll Never Forget - George Takei ›
Many people live by the mantra that ignorance is bliss.
It's true, how being left in the dark about influential pieces of information is preferable.
For example, being cognizant about a co-worker's questionable private life can adversely affect how others interact with this individual if they object to their tendencies outside of the workplace.
Not knowing certain things can be freeing, a notion that was explored when Redditor Distantmole asked:
"What’s something you really wish you didn’t know?"
These Redditor examples are based on an occupational hazard.
"How to fix a printer. Sometimes, I just play dumb when I'm asked..."
"I was the ONLY one who knew how to unjam the printer at my old job. And it was a lemon - it jammed at least once a day. I quit the job because I was overworked and unappreciated. My replacement left in less than a year. I hope they're suffering without their little resident unjammer. Thanks for letting me vent."
Parents are people too, and you wouldn't be here were it not for them.
So there's that.
The Origin Of You
"I know exactly where, when, and how I was made in grand detail. I have no idea why my parents felt the need to tell me this, but I now know and I wish i didn't."
"I was conceived in a waterbed in my parents’ old condo. My dad told me when I was 15…"
Pulling Back The Curtain
"My father photographed all the births, me and my siblings."
"Each of us had a photo album growing up."
"They started with the photos of our births."
"My father took photos of us coming out.... of the vagina."
"This is the first page of my childhood photo album."
Too Close For Comfort
"My parents told me they conceived my younger sibling in a tent with me and my older sibling while we were sleeping in the same tent. I did not need to know that."
You think you know everything about the members of your family.
However, some things about them are better left a mystery.
"Was on a vacation with my grandma in a shared room and she disappeared into the bathroom for 5 minutes, came out, I didn't think any of it and didn't care, and she came up to me and said."
"I have bad constipation right now so I shoved a bit of soap in my butt to help softening it up! Maybe I'll fart bubbles soon, he he!"
"That happened 6 years ago but it's burned into my brain."
The Family's An Open Book
"Didn't need to know the reason I'm mums least favourite child and I certainly didn't need her to tell me what colour my step dad's pubes are. Didn't need my Grandparents to tell me that they had sex the night before on the couch I was sitting on or my grans favourite position."
"Also didn't need to know my uncle only has one testicle or that my dad was in the room when my cousin was conceived. My family is far to open lol."
"If you find an unlabeled videotape laying around burn the f'king thing just in case."
The myth of mammals.
Scary Fish Tongue
"There is a parasitic isopod that gets inside a fish’s mouth, severs the tongue, and lives in the fish’s mouth acting as a replacement tongue."
I wish I didn't know about as Demodex or eyelash mites.
Oh, you didn't about them?
Prepare to have your mind blown.
There is a community of mites living in the pores of our faces.
Ever wondered why your face randomly itches when there's nothing visibly making contact with your face? That's because these little stubby boring worms–that are a distant relative of ticks and spiders–are having a party inside your fleshy dwelling, and they are grateful for its host to extend the welcome mat.
Americans often drop popular sayings in conversation that have some element of truth to them.
You've undoubtedly come across phrases like, "Kill two birds with one stone" or "it's raining cats and dogs."
While those are used to describe actions, like the state of the weather, there are other phrases that are dispensed as words of wisdom to help individuals through a challenging situation.
But the endeavor to console someone by using this tactic is not always effective.
Curious to hear examples of this, Redditor Braca5 asked:
"What popular sayings are bullsh*t?"
These sound familiar?
The Survivor Mentality
"whatever doesn't kill you just makes you stronger."
"Looks aren't important."
"It's true. They don't always or entirely matter, but they do. That's kind of how superficial humans are."
Not Every Pain Heals
"Time heals all wounds."
"There's another one that goes like this 'time heals nothing, it just replaces memories.'"
The stigma around this is so foul, the guilty will lie about their offensive crime.
"He who smelt it dealt it"
"Whoever said the rhyme did the crime."
Psychology Around The Guilt
"The irony is it's almost always the opposite that's true. Most people would rather just be quiet about a fart than try to put it on somebody else and as it is you usually become pretty accustomed to your own and probably don't even smell half of the ones that slip out so likely the person who dealt it is going to be one of the last to actually consciously smell it."
Playing by the rules doesn't always get you places.
"Cheaters never win."
"A better saying:"
'Treason doth never prosper, what's the reason? For if it prosper, none dare call it Treason.' John Harington (1561 - 1612)
Comeuppance Never Comes
"What goes around, comes around."
"Bullsh*t. I've seen people be jerks my entire life (I'm 57 y/o) and they never got what should have come around to them."
Thing About Karma
"Worse, it's an excuse to not take responsibility. A few years back, I had discovered a nasty person who was fooling the public by buying dogs from Amish auctions of out of state, bringing them, unvaccinated, across state lines, and pawning them off on the public as 'rescues' but also taking loads of donations when she was not registered as a charity. She was not using the funds for medical care. The gal was a flashy blonde in designer clothes and knew how to fool people."
"The county authorities were investigating and needed more evidence. I approached the owner of a local pet supply store where she operated her scam and asked him to cooperate. He banned her from the store but completely refused to cooperate with the investigation. Excuse, 'Karma will get her.'"
"B*tch got off with just a fine when she would have faced animal cruelty charges."
"Karma? No, it's not a thing."
Those who adopt a passive way of thinking end up making up for lost time.
Turning A Blind Eye
"Out of sight, out of mind."
"Ever lost track of a spider?"
How Much Time Do You Have?
"Good things come to those who wait."
Lond Distance Relationships Aren't For Everyone
“Absence makes the heart grow fonder”
I think those who say "if you love what you do, you'll never work a day in your life," is debatable.
Depending on the situation, being forced to do something you once loved so you could earn a living can potentially breed resentment.
I'm a former dancer who absolutely lived off the adrenaline of performing on a stage. But when the cast I was performing with at a theme park was forced to do the same rigorous show five times a day–sometimes in intense heat–I was miserable.
Once, I severely twisted my ankle mid-performance simply because I was physically exhausted but continued giving it my 100% when my body was ready to give out. That's when most performance-based injuries occur.
That phrase certainly got a second hard look from me back then.
No two people share exactly the same likes and interests.
But on occasion, one might find themselves being among the few, if not the sole members of a certain fan club.
Indeed, while Cats earned a place on the list of the worst movies of all time, its 19% score on Rotten Tomatoes suggests that there are a handful of people who actually liked it.
Or while many people dread having to clean their homes, some simply can't wait to get started, and will look for any and every opportunity to do so.
Redditor StardustNova_ was curious to hear where members of the Reddit community found themselves in a distinct minority of appreciation, leading them to ask:
"What's something you like that the vast majority people hate?"
You've got me all tied up in knots!
"I love untangling things."
"Your Christmas lights end up in a ball and there’s no telling where it starts or ends?"
"Got a necklace that got rolled up into a total mess?"
"I’m your de-tangler."
"Headphones come out of your pocket looking like a Tangela? "
"Total zen for me."
"Wish I could make a few bucks with it tho."- Not_Jo_Mama
I'm all ears!
"People that talk a lot so I don’t need to."
"I like listening to them & I find their energy refreshing."- krasavetsa
"Everything about the airport."
"Idk why but it’s so fascinating."
"Honestly I like it more than the trip sometimes lol."- abigailgwhitneyairport GIFGiphy
"The cold never bothered me anyway"
"A Winnipeg winter day where there's not a cloud in the sky or a breath of wind, but it's so f*cking cold out your nose hairs freeze together every time you breathe."- FakeLordFarquaad
When life gives you lemons...
"Apparently a lot of people don't like the lemon/yellow starburst candy, and that's the one I prefer."- mermaid_with_pants
Sudsy, soapy dreams...
"Doing the dishes."
"I find it so calming."- shakensunshineSeason 5 Episode 10 GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy
The gift that keeps on giving.
"It's super therapeutic and relaxing to me."
"I'll wrap everyone's presents in the house, even the ones they have to give to other people!"- happygoose2022
Sweeet and sparkly!
"Fruit flavored sparkling water."- suitcaseinherhand
"It's raining, it's pouring..."
"Gloomy and rainy days."- eggtart_princerainy day GIFGiphy
Can't dive too deep!
"I got addicted to research when I was in college and something about putting everything together to present a coherent argument is just exciting for me."- ILoveFoodALotMore
It's always interesting to hear the thing which would make some people groan with misery that would make others cheer with glee.
Nor should always look down on someone for loving something you absolutely hate, as they could help you wrap those presents you've been putting off because you hate it so much.
And who knows, maybe Cats wasn't as bad as you remembered...
It's usually a good feeling to be "on top".
To be found at the top of the list of a notable or unique accomplishment.
Though having the distinction of being in the top 0.1 percent of something might not always be something to brag about, resulting in some keeping this distinction to themselves.
If only because some people might be unusually fascinated by their so-called "accomplishment", that they'll never stop being bombarded by questions.
Redditor ImLostInTheForrest was curious to hear if any members of the Reddit community believed they were in the 0.1 percent of anything, be it commendable, bizarre or unfortunate, leading them to ask:
"What’s something you believe you may be in the 0.1% of?"
A mighty heart indeed
"Scars on my heart."
"I have about 30, I think."
"On my 4th heart procedure, I had 24 cardiac ablations."
"They use radio waves to kill tissue to create scarring so that effectively signals can't travel through that way."
"During one procedure, epicardial, meaning both inside and outside the heart. by the top electrophysiologist on the east coast."
"He said only one other patient of his had more done in one procedure."
"Took 10 hours."
"I could hear the nurses gossiping about me in the hallway."
"This was 7 years ago, and now my heart is working great!"- pearlie_girl·
Extremely comfortable in my skin
"Half of my body is a birthmark of tan skin, and the other half is pale white."
"It's right down the middle of my stomach and same with my back."
"I've only ever seen 1 person online with it saying 'chimerism' but idk if that's same with me."
"Idk but it's uncommon." - User Deleted
"Still living with stage IV lung cancer for 13 yrs."- Flashy-Cattle-8086
Big shoes to fill indeed...
"I wear a size 18."- wearegoodthings
Love your job!
"Don't know if it's less cool because I do it for work, but I 'photograph' atoms and crystalline atomic structures most days."
"I get to see the world in a way few ever do which is kinda neat."- RayseBraizeAnimation Loop GIF by xponentialdesignGiphy
An exclusive club no one wants to be part of...
"I have this condition called Miyoshi Myopathy, which, thankfully, affects only my calves and hence my walking capabilities."
"My doctor told me it is rare, but tbh statistically rare does not really mean anything, everyone might have it but they either did not get out of their way to test it, via taking blood and had it examined in a lab, or they just never realized there was something wrong at all."
"If you are wondering why I said 'Thankfully it only affected the legs', it is because it is a muscle disorder, and some disorders affect Cardiac, heart, and Pulmonary, lungs, muscles that will obviously not be pretty."
"I have to get tested every year to make sure all my vital functions are normal and as of now nothing significant is noted and I should be living a long and healthy life."- 1123Icantthinkofname
It's harder than you think...
"Folks who know percentages."- mrg1957Giphy
"Apparently only 0.1% of people become mechanical engineers in the US and an even smaller percentage are women, so maybe that?"
"I was also less than 2 lbs when I was born, and I think the percentage is probably similar."
"I somehow have no lasting physical issues from that, though my sister has cerebral palsy."- s_p_o_c_k
Plenty to go around!
"I have 3 functional kidneys."
"No it doesn't mean I pee more."
"No it doesn't mean I can drink more alcohol, thats the liver."
"No I won't sell it for under $71,241." - User Deleted
While some wouldn't necessarily consider some of these things an accomplishment, all of them certainly make for fascinating conversation starters.
Seriously, where would the third kidney even go...?