Ah, yes, we are in the age of the unsolicited non sequitur outburst.
You know the kind, where you mention the weather and someone launches into a rant about Jewish Space Lasers causing wildfires.
It's time to bring them back to reality and say, "Representative Greene, this is Congress."
Redditor darodori asked:
"What’s your 'Sir, this is a Wendy’s' moment?"
If your wife was treated here...
"Not me, my daughter. She answered the phone, appropriately, 'Radiology'."
"Guy on the phone was looking for some test results, but she couldn’t find his name, or his wife’s name anywhere. Long confusing call."
"Finally she asks for the name of the animal."
"'What animal? I’m asking about my wife’s test!'"
"'Sir, this is a veterinary hospital'."
What was the answer?
"My wife was doing an interview and the interviewer asked her 'How she would handle a situation if there was an elephant in the room'."
"Not being familiar with the phrase she proceeded to describe in detail all the things she would consider to help get the elephant out of the room."
"The interviewers allowed her to finish and she didn’t realize it until she told me about it later."
"I actually work at a Wendys, and someone tried to use an Arby's coupon."
"I worked at A&W and someone gave me a McDonald's coupon for a Big Mac."
"Sir. I literally can't make this for you."
"Similar story, I work in an auto shop. A customer came in with a coupon for Jiffy Lube trying to get us to use it."
"After a few minutes of arguing I actually looked at the coupon. It was only $1 less than our regular price."
"One time this older dude rushes up to order and slams a coupon on the counter saying 'I want this!'."
"I pick it up It has menu items for KFC. I ask him 'What exactly would you like to order?'”
"He instantly gets disgruntled with me for not reading his god damn mind and shakes his finger at the coupon and said 'Well Whatever is on the coupon, obviously!?' in a condescending tone."
"I just look at him for a minute an say word for word 'Sir, this is McDonald’s. I don’t know what you want me to do with this KFC coupon'. He looks at me dumbfounded."
"Then looks behind me at the menu and around the store, yells 'Awh, Shit!' (Like this isn’t his first time walking into the wrong establishment), grabs the coupon and storms off."
9-1-1, what's your problem?
"Former police/emergency dispatcher."
"People would call for all sorts of things, like settling an argument over the rules of Monopoly or other board games, answers to crossword puzzles, complaints about the weather, etc..."
"My favorite over the years:"
"'The power's out, can you have the fire department come over and hook up a generator? I need to watch the ballgame'."
That won't fit in the book drop.
"I worked in the tech department of my university’s library. Some guy called and asked who he needed to contact to donate his body to the medical school when he died."
"I was like 20, and I had no idea how to respond especially since the medical school is another campus."
"I explained to him that he needed to contact the medical school, and he told me he already had."
"I was like… okay… I can’t really help you. This is the tech service department of the library."
"I was on the phone with him for like 35 minutes."
Did she see cars?
"A woman came in our shop demanding to help her fix her car because it was our job to do so."
"I worked in a pawn shop. I told her that the car repair store was at the corner of the street and she got the address mixed up."
"She looked ashamed and I never saw her again."
Driving Them Crazy
"I used to work at a drive through coffee stand. Two guys came through, clearly high af, asking for cheeseburgers."
"We explained that this is a coffee stand, we have breakfast sandwiches, but if they want cheeseburgers they’ll have to go down the street to Jack in the Box."
"It took them a solid 5 minutes of us re-explaining this to them before they understood."
"Another time it was super early in the morning, working at the same coffee stand. A woman rolls up and it legit looks like she’s sleeping."
"She orders her coffee and hands me a punch card for a different local coffee stand. I said oh wrong card (happens all the time).
"She looks at the card, looks at me, looks around, and says 'what, where am I?'"
"And I’ve just realized neither of these people probably should have been driving, yikes 😬"
First ExxonMobil Trust
"Had a guy scream at me over the phone because I told him I can't transfer money from his savings to checking."
"I work at a gas station."
At least it wasn't your core warranty.
"I work at a nuclear power plant."
"A few years ago, the control room emergency phone number got out to telemarketers."
"We get a call on the emergency line. One of the reactor operators picks it up 'xxx power station emergency line'."
"He hears a click [of a person being connected]. Then some dude is asking if we want to upgrade our home security system."
"The reactor operator is like 'Do you have like, microwave or infrared detectors? Oh no, we do. Do you have an option for hand geometry scanners?'."
"This goes on for a few minutes and he’s finally like 'Dude you called the control room for a nuclear reactor. You don’t have anything that could upgrade what we already have for security. Never call this number again.' and hangs up."
"I was dying laughing."
"This is really weird that this became a meme, because I swear this is true. In about 95 I was driving from New England to Florida for a college spring break trip."
"Somewhere in South Carolina we stopped at a Wendy's. Near the hallway to the bathrooms they had a big map of South Carolina and I said to a person 'Can you tell me where we are?"
"I was pretty clearly indicating the map."
"The lady said 'Honey, you in the Wendy's!'"
We've probably all been on one side of this situation as either the confused person or the victim of their confusion.
What's your story?
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Fast food restaurants attract a wide and varied clientele.
Owing, of course, to the fact that they are speedy, relatively inexpensive, and often delicious, if seldom nutritious.
With so many fast food restaurants to choose from, often situated right next to one another on major highways, it's easy to become confused as to which items are on what menus.
Or if we're really in a hurry, we might find ourselves driving up to a drive through window and ordering a cheeseburger and fries, only to realize we're at a bank.
Ludicrous as the idea might sound, such encounters have definitely happened.
One simply needs to ask an employee at any of these fast service establishments for proof, and they will likely share their stories with glee.
"Fast food workers, what is your 'Sir, this is a Wendy's' moment?"
Always Look For The Golden Arches
"This is really weird that this became a meme, because I swear this is true."
"In about 95 I was driving from New England to Florida for a college spring break trip."
"Somewhere in South Carolina we stopped at a Wendy's."
"Near the hallway to the bathrooms they had a big map of South Carolina and I said to a person 'can you tell me where we are?'"
" I was pretty clearly indicating the map."
"The lady said, 'Honey, you in the Wendy's!'"
"I was like.... thanks ok."
"So no big Macs."- Wobblebut
Sorry, We Don't Accept That Here...
"One time this older dude rushes up to order and slams a coupon on the counter saying 'I want this!'"
"I pick it up It has menu items for KFC."
"I ask him 'What exactly would you like to order?'"
"He instantly gets disgruntled with me for not reading his G*d damn mind and shakes his finger at the coupon and said 'Well Whatever is on the coupon, obviously!?' in a condescending tone."
"I just look at him for a minute and say word for word 'Sir, this is McDonald’s'."
"I don’t know what you want me to do with this KFC coupon."
”He looks at me dumbfounded."
"Then looks behind me at the menu and around the store, yells 'Awh, Sh*t', like this isn’t his first time walking into the wrong establishment, grabs the coupon and storms off."- BALD-HEADED_HOEpizza hut GIF by FunimationGiphy
Seriously, Is It That Hard To Read the Menu?
'"You don't have tables?'"
"'I'll just have the general chicken'"
"'This is a Pizza Hut'."
"'Fine, just a few egg rolls'."
"'How about a pizza?'"
"'Why would I order pizza at a Chinese restaurant?'"
"'You're right, that would be stupid'."- mochablendedfun
People Still Use Checks?
"Dude came to drive thru."
"I open the window, 'sir, how can I help you'."
"'I'm outa checks', "he replies calmly."
"'Not sure I follow you', I say."
"'I'm outa checks', he says again more impatiently."
"'Right, I heard you but I don't know what you want me to do about it'."
"You can pay with cash or card too'."
"Dude gives me a weird look then says, 'Oh this ain't the bank'."
"And peels out away from the window."
"I'm a pharmacist."- avatarlevellisa simpson check GIFGiphy
Make The Most Of It...
"I used to work at Target and they hired a new girl, who had previously worked at Walmart, to work the fitting rooms, and by default the intercom system."
"A few days after she started she was about to make an announcement over the intercom and I guess habit took over because she started the announcement with 'Attention Walmart shoppers'."
" She realized her mistake and made a good recovery with 'you are in the wrong store'."- Yodajrp
"Another One Bites The Dust..."
"I was working at Braum's and this guy went on a whole rant about how Queen and all the bands from the 70's-80's are working with government to erase memories."
"All because he heard a lyric wrong."- InfiniousBeatz·
Level Your Expectations
"Y’all wouldn’t believe the amount of disappointed rich people who come to Panda Express and find out we aren’t serving authentic Chinese food."
"Once a well traveled rich woman came into Panda Express and stood at the buffet line for about ten minutes, critiquing our 'mistakes' and explaining how Chinese cuisine doesn’t actually have fried wontons with cream cheese filling."
"Ma’am, we just fry what came in the bag from a warehouse in California."- Upstairs_CowGiphy
Working in the service industry can be extremely stressful and tiring.
But when you get to share stories like these, it almost makes it all worth it.
Who wouldn't want to see just one humiliated reaction after someone ordering a 10pc McNuggets at a Popeye's is corrected?
All of us more than likely broke at least one rule while in school.
There were, of course, the class clowns and bullies who made an effort to break school rules, just for the sake of it.
But then there were those whose absolute worst nightmare was getting in trouble, who still found themselves breaking one or more rules.
However, they more than likely broke these rules without even realizing it, as many schools have a long list or rules that students, and more than likely several teachers, might not even have been aware of.
For aside from the obvious rules, no running in the hall, no cheating, some school administrators might have gone above and beyond to ensure discipline in their schools.
Thus instituting rules ranging from understandable to utterly ludicrous.
"What's the dumbest rule your school ever enforced?"
"Not being allowed to wear hoodies/jackets or sweaters that lacked the official school logo."
"I was a high school teacher for several years, both buildings I worked in were FREEZING, and having admin pull students out of my classroom during a 50 minute period & giving them detention instead of letting them LEARN is cruel and completely unnessesary, in my opinion."- Master_Catch_9089
"My school had 3 staircases along a very long corridor."
"We were banned from using the middle staircase because it got overcrowded."
"The ban was lifted once they realized it only made the other two staircases just as crowded."- bignastty·
Show Everyone How Happy You Are!
"At my kids' elementary school students had to smile while walking in the hall."- HitchhikingCatsAwkward Smile GIFGiphy
"If you throw snowballs, you get a one day suspension."
"The first long weekend after a snowfall everyone would throw snowballs to get an additional day added to the long weekend."- MrFake_Name
Sound In Theory, Lethal In Practice...
"You had to wear your ID around your neck on a rope thing."
"Then the chokings started."- the-zoidberg
"Candy canes were outlawed because you could sharpen them to a point and use them as a shiv."
"I went to school in rural Washington."
"We definitely weren’t somewhere that shankings were to be expected."- MisterComradeSanta Claus Christmas GIF by Emo DíazGiphy
Flaws With Bureaucracy...
"I got Saturday school for missing a day of classes when I was 16."
"Seems reasonable, except I missed to go complete my US citizenship and officially become a citizen alongside my mom, it took us 12 years to go through the legal process, btw."
"Whole other issue."
"I had a note from my mother as well as a signed official Federal form they give you to explain to school/employers why you were absent."
"Apparently the only acceptable absence excuse was illness."
"I got punished for becoming a citizen."- Lumpy_Constellation
Silence Is Golden
"Elementary school principal banned talking at lunch."
"If you were caught talking or even signing to someone, you had to go sit by yourself on a folding chair with no table."
"There was once my mom came to eat lunch with my older sister and I."
"The principal was like 'Oh you should go eat out in the hallway with your daughters' and she was like 'nah, I'm gonna sit here with my daughter and her friends and talk to them and enjoy their presence'."
"Usually if a parent came for lunch the student could invite one friend to join, unless you had siblings."
"Then it was too many people so you couldn't invite a friend."
"Anyway, one of my older sister's friends whispered to my mom that she was going to move so she wouldn't get in trouble for talking."
"THIS WAS A NINE YEAR OLD."- passatcarno talking total physical response GIF by ALO7.comGiphy
So Much For Standing Up For Yourself...
"That if you say/do anything back to your bully it becomes a mutual conflict and isn't bullying."
"So if they start calling you slurs and making you feel bad every day and you call them stupid once or twice the school probably won't help."
"Also dress code required school branded hoodies.'
"They were 50 dollars."
"If you wore a non school hoodie you got in school suspension."- wowthatfood
Many would say "the rules are not meant to be broken".
However, one should stop and reflect when certain rules were implemented, and what exactly they were intended to prevent.
As these rules might actually be impossible for many to follow.
Then too, one can't help but wonder if people might be better off breaking these outdated rules?
It takes people no time at all to realize how much their life changes when adopting a pet.
First and foremost, of course, is the joy they bring, be it snuggling on the sofa, or going for a walk in the park.
Overtime, however, we might begin to notice how our own day to day routine might have changed since bringing home our puppy, kitten or guppy.
Indeed, sharing your home with a pet might result in you making changes to your diet, exercise regime or cleaning habits without even realizing it.
"What has your pet accidentally conditioned you to do?"
They Know When Their Water Isn't Fresh
"Change the water in her bowl."
"It can be all the way to the top and she’ll stand there staring at it until I take the bowl, dump it, and refill it with fresh water."- bippityboppityhyeem
No More Chance Of The Mailbox Getting Full.
"Check the mail every day."
"He's so excited to walk to the mailbox with me it reminds me to actually do it."- cap_blueberry
Can' t Squash Them!
"Sleep with my legs a cat-length apart."
"She likes to sleep in between them."- zool714cat sleeps GIFGiphy
Always Leave Some For A Doggy Bag
"Before I run in the morning I usually scarf down a banana."
"Ever since we got my sweet dog, I scarf down about two thirds of my banana and he gets the last part."
"It’s become our little thing, an unspoken agreement."- oksandwiches
Just Can't Get Them Out Of Their Heads...
"Weaving his name into any song I can for no reason whatsoever."- jasonwilczak
No Need For An Alarm Clock
"To press on my bladder to wake me up early so they could eat early."
"Living lots of food by night didn't solve it."- IseultDarcyWake Up Cat GIFGiphy
"My dog Rusty always puts his front paws on me and I always hugged him so now when he’s anxious he’ll give me a hug and I’ll hug him back."
"The other one is when I get ice he always begs for one so now without thinking I always toss him an ice cube."- Kenivider
Always There For You
"Calm down when I start to lose my temper or get frustrated."
"Whenever he hears me sigh or swear, he runs to me, rests his chin on my arm or leg and looks up at me with concern."
"This has made me so aware of how my energy can impact those around me and I have really gotten my anger under control since he started doing this."
"He's one of the goodest boys and I am grateful for him every day."- The_Atlas_Moth
"I have a cat that plays fetch, very insistently."
"She brings me her toy mouse, and if I don't throw it for her, she sits on my laptop keyboard."
"Of course this all started when I would throw the mouse to keep her from sitting on my laptop."- Mortambulistfetch guru studio GIF by True and the Rainbow KingdomGiphy
Unplanned Eating Schedule
"My mother's dog tells her when it's time for her evening meal."
"As in my mother's evening meal."
"The dog knows she eats after my mother, so when she starts to get peckish she goes and bugs her to start cooking."
"When I go back to visit, we'll be sitting chatting and the dog will sidle in and become a presence in the room for maybe 30 seconds until my mother casually looks at her watch and says 'I suppose we better think about eating'."
"She's completely unaware of what triggers her decision."- prolixia
The benefits of owning a pet are too many to name.
As you might find your diet, fitness and cleanliness drastically improve without any real effort on your part.
And the evening cuddles don't hurt either.
Ever wonder how often people have dropped their personal items through the gap between the elevator and the floor?
Ever wonder the kind of items that could be strewn at the bottom of an elevator shaft?
Wonder no more!
Elevator technicians share with us the things they've seen. Some of the things that forever became detached from their owners are unique, others are of the usual suspects, and others are just plain bonkers.
These are the things that were found when Redditor diegomkt asked:
"Elevator-maintenance folks, what is the weirdest thing you have found at the bottom of the elevator chamber?"
These are the shocking items.
"Worked at a hotel. Guest dropped their phone down the shaft. After a few failed retrieval efforts, we called the elevator guys. They went down got the phone and also found a carton of eggs. Rotten, but not cracked. I don't even understand how that could happen accidentally."
"Did home repair to help put myself through college. Get a call that there's a non-waste water leak in an apartment in a second floor bathroom from a landlord, so me and my coworker go over. The water line on the toilet has a leak, enough has come out that we need to remove some of the ceiling in the living room to replace it. So we cut out a 4' x 4' area that meets a ceiling joist and we find an egg. One single egg balanced on the ceiling joist. We gingerly removed it and tossed it out. The ceiling had been closed up for at least the last 40 years. It was lathe and plaster, that old. That egg still haunts me."
"My dad was an elevator mechanic for about 15 years."
"He had a very dark sense of humour and would come home with some of the craziest stories. (For example, any time he was in an elevator, he would shake it a little or tap on the displays or buttons and go 'Yep. Total piece of crap. Inferior piece of crap.' and I think he mostly did it to freak people out.) One of my favourites:"
"He got a call that someone was hearing weird noises from the elevator. He got inside, rode the elevator up and sure enough, he could hear it too. For half a second he thought it was a baby crying and realized it was a cat. When he got to a certain floor, he could hear this sad meowing. It obviously wasn't in the elevator car, so he got into the shaft and found this little orange kitty! It had somehow (and I don't think he figured out or told us how) got into the elevator shaft and was sitting in a spot between the floors where it wouldn't get crushed by the elevator, but it couldn't get out."
"My dad saved it and gave it to the building manager to see if it belonged to anyone in the building."
"It was the one time he ever told us a story that involved him saving an animal instead of finding dead ones."
You might have expected these.
"I once accidently lost my drivers license down the little gap in the elevator doors, just dropped it and was super unlucky as it slipped through. It turned up in my mail 10 years later! Obviously long expired, but still crazy some maintenance guy found it and bothered retuning it."
"Well over 1500 tax returns at the bottom of the ATO's north brisbane office elevator shaft."
"My dad has a great story about this. He supervised the mechanics, and one of them called him from a mental hospital and said 'you've got to see this'. The maintenance guy was called because the elevator wasn't quite sitting level on the ground floor; it was about half an inch too high and both patients and staff had been tripping on it. But all other floors were no problem."
"My dad arrived to find the maintenance guy cackling, looking into the bottom of the shaft. There were probably tens of thousands of magazines down there. They had to get a bunch of shovels, a small crew, and a rolling dumpster to clear it out. When it was all done, my dad decided to stay behind and pretend to read a newspaper while he sat in the lobby. After about half an hour, he sees an elderly patient holding a magazine, shuffling slowly toward the elevator. He stops in front of the doors, glances left, glances right, and quickly stoops down, slides the magazine into the gap, and shuffles away as fast as he can with a huge grin on his face. My dad could not help but laugh hysterically. This guy had probably been sliding magazines in there multiple times per day, every day, for decades. I should ask him whether he reported it or let the guy have his fun. Wouldn't surprise me if my dad went with the latter."
The Hotel Employee
"Not a technician, but do work at a large hotel. A few years ago one of our elevators stopped working. Turned out when they opened it up they found a 3-ft pile of guest folios that were never delivered to the rooms. Later when we looked on the camera we found it was a security guard that got tired of delivering them to the rooms and instead dropped them down the elevator shaft. He did this for months until he was caught."
These are the absolutely "nope" items.
"Pest control tech here, Snakes had gotten into the pit and were climbing up and dropping down on people as they rode the elevator. Good times.
"Out team dropped a steel anal dialator down the dumbwaiter shaft by mistake. When the technician came down and grabbed it off the floor ill never forget the look on his face when I told him 'we need that up here it's got to go in someone's a** soon'... it was priceless (I am a technician for a hospital dealing with rectal surgical tools is very normal)"
So there you have it.
No reports of a missing body or anything gruesome involving a serial killer were recovered at the scene of these elevator shafts.
Still, you never know what lurks beneath your elevator. And if something alive is down there, hopefully it won't slither its way up to unsuspecting riders on their way to the work floor.