As an experienced parent, people often ask me what my biggest challenges have been.
I'll be honest, aside from the whole "gotta keep 'em alive" thing - the hardest thing about parenting for me has been that I have a loud face and kids are HILARIOUS.
But I'm just supposed to sit here and not laugh!?
Reddit user ViolatingBadgersasked:
"Parents of Reddit, what hilarious thing did your child do that you wanted to laugh at, but had to hold it in because you also didn't want to encourage them?"
If you laugh at the hilarious stuff kids do, they'll do it more. Positive reinforcement in action.
But that's how you get kids who call others peasants ... plus all this stuff.
Slap-a-Pus
eggs platypus GIFGiphy"My boys could not pronounce the word platypus. They somehow defaulted to 'slap-a-pus.' "
- DiAb505
" 'Oh, a slap-a-pus.' *audible gasp* "
" 'PERRY THE SLAP-A-PUS?!' "
- BronzeAgeTea
"I have changed my ways. Next time I go to the zoo, I will say slap-a-pus"
- KinaGrace96
Peasants
"My five-year-old went through a phase where whenever she was mad, she would call people (or cats, or Lego, or whatever she was upset at) 'Filthy peasants!' "
"She would also say to me, 'Mooom! (Babybrother)'s being impudent!' "
"I worry that without in-person school and being around kids her own age, she's gotten REALLY used to being around just adults and her personal mini-minion."
"She's gonna be a dictator, but there's nothing funnier than an imperiously furious five-year-old."
- WhateverCORE2021
So Delicious
"Just a few nights ago, I pulled a stick of butter out of the fridge to see a perfect bite mark taken from the end."
"I call my 6 year old daughter into the kitchen and now have to keep a straight face as she tells me that she must have left the door open and one of the dogs bit the butter."
"She kept up this story even as I SHOWED her the bite marks, INCLUDING the gap from her missing bottom tooth."
"FINALLY, she admits to it and, when asked why, dramatically says 'I couldn't help it, it just looked so DELICIOUS!' "
- dementedpixie
"My mom would have to hide the sticks of butter in the fridge when I was a toddler."
"I would sneak out of my room in the middle of the night and eat them."
- Singingpineapples
"This is super cute - gross as hell but adorable."
- chriscookbuilds
Seamless
"Not a parent but a teacher."
"This student in one of my high school classes was answering a question and having a bit of trouble. Another kid chimed in to say something, maybe give her a hint I don't know."
"Anyway, she just looked at him and dead pan said 'Eat my bootyhole' and then continued her train of thought without pause. She intended for it to be under her breath, but it came out loud."
"What was so funny was the seamlessness with which she wove it into her sentence."
"It was very hard not to laugh so I sighed very loudly and said her name in a scolding tone. She realized her mistake and apologized and I sat at my desk with my hand covering my face for a full thirty seconds while my whole class laughed."
"I had to take a moment before going 'let’s move on' because I was just trying very hard not to crack up."
- Burn-babe
Excused From The Table
corn biscuits GIF by Kacey MusgravesGiphy"My daughter was an early talker…so it was always funny to hear this tiny baby say all this big kid stuff."
"One night at dinner my wife was trying to get her to eat some corn and goes: 'See, mommy likes it.' “
"And my kid who was just barely 3 at the time looks at my wife and goes: 'Well then YOU eat it, mother!' ”
"I had to leave the room."
- SeaTie
Spit It Out
"When my son was 4, he was trying to explain something to me. He was so excited about it he kept restarting his sentence."
" 'It was the- it- the- it was a- it was...' etc for a good 3 minutes."
"I jokingly told him to spit it out. He, being 4 and not understanding that it's just a turn of phrase, actually spit on my floor. And then was able to tell me that he likes dinosaurs."
"I suppose... system reset achieved."
- Obligatory_smile
Calmly And Rationally
"My (at the time) three year old shouts 'FUCK!' in the back seat."
"I say, 'Henry! Don't say that word!' "
" 'But daddy, the f*ckin dammit toy fell down,' he calmly and rationally replied in a sing song 3 year old voice."
- johnwalkersbeard
"It's even funnier when they do it not knowing that it's a swear word."
"An acquaintance was peeling potatoes with her toddler in the room when the bag ripped and the potatoes fell out. The mom went 'Oh, f*ck', but then went around her day making food."
"Anyway, maybe two weeks later she and her daughter had the following conversation:"
"Mom: (rhetorically) 'I wonder what kind of food I should cook.' "
"Daughter: 'Oh f*ck!' "
"Mom: 'What did you just say?' "
"Daughter: 'Make oh f*ck! You bought oh f*ck yesterday!' "
"As you can guess, daughter thought that potatoes were called 'oh f*ck.' "
- Enakistehen
Don't Be A Drag
lady gaga body revolution GIF by VevoGiphy"Except for one band (The Imagination Movers) we never really listened to 'kiddie music' when our son was little."
"So from an early age, he was exposed to the same music that we listen to: mostly 80s/90s pop, Disney music (which my husband likes), classic rock and punk (which I like)."
"One day, when he was in like 2nd grade, his teacher pulled me aside when I went to go pick him up from school."
"Apparently, he'd gotten in trouble because he was having an argument with another boy on the playground at recess. Which that normally wouldn't have been a big deal, but how my son ended the argument was a bit of an issue."
"He told the kid, 'Don't be a drag, just be a queen.' "
"I wanted to bust out howling with laughter, but I didn't. All I could do was apologize to the teacher."
- KnockMeYourLobes
Britches
"Pull-ups (training diapers) have these velcro-like sides that can come apart to adjust the size and for diaper changes."
"My 3yo was putting one on for bedtime and it popped open. I jokingly told her 'Oh no! You burst your britches!' "
"Her response was running off to dad yelling 'I burst my b*tches! I burst my b*tches!' And then she re-enacted the scene and her new catch phrase every night for the rest of the week."
"I about peed myself laughing after I left her room that night."
- St3phiroth
Honey Butter
"My kiddo was 3 when we were out at a New Mexican restaurant. Traditionally we eat sopapillas with honey but this particular restaurant serves honey butter with theirs."
"I slather up a sopa, hand it to her and turn back to the conversation at the table."
"The next thing I hear is her saying, 'This honey butter is sooooo f*cking good!' "
"Her Dad and I glance at each other like, did she just say what I thought she said? I then ask her to repeat herself and sure enough:"
" 'This honey butter is sooo f*cking good!' "
"I had to turn around in my chair and laugh into my elbow before telling her that, while she was not wrong, she couldn't use the f word to describe her satisfaction with her food."
"I still laugh so hard I cry whenever I think about that story. We were at dinner with about 20 family members too!"
- BeeEyeAm
Kraft
a goofy movie cheese GIFGiphy"My brother and I had bunk beds when we were little. We used to sneak out, like army crawl all dramatically through the house, grab Kraft singles, and we’d hide the wrappers in the bottom of the top bunk."
"We denied it for weeks until my mom was on the bottom bunk for some reason and found the hole in the top mattress where we stored all the evidence. There were so many cheese wrappers in there. So many."
"No idea how she kept a straight face when she found them."
"I don't know how we ever stomached those single wrapped cheeses alone, and why we were so obsessed. Good times though!"
- shelllllo
Stealth/Slight Of Hand
"While at Six Flags my six year old daughter wanted some gas station quality sunglasses that they were selling for $40. I was absolutely not shelling out that money for such cheap glasses."
"I said no, but we could get a new pair when we stopped for gas."
"I talk to the clerk to return our two kid buggy rental, and we walk the mile from the return back to the car. My older son wants a couple shoulder rides but, my daughter just walks silently the whole way."
"Before she gets in the car seat, she puts on the sunglasses I refused to buy."
"Stealth/slight of hand +7."
"I was supposed to be mad about the theft, but ..."
- juicegooseboost
Boring
"Wife, out of frustration, sarcastically to our 3 year old:"
“ 'It must be f*cking great to stay up rather than sleep during nap time !' "
"3 year old responded: 'No! It's f*cking boring!!!' "
"I didn't wanna die, so I excused myself before cracking up."
- slipshuck
Arrest Record
arrested stone cold GIF by WWEGiphy"Once, as a substitute teacher, I was at an assembly with a group of 1st graders and the local Police Department was visiting."
"An officer was speaking and a kid yelled out 'Do you know my brother? He gets arrested A LOT!' "
"I pulled my sweater over my face to hide my laughter."
- SurferRosa85
Threats
"My son recently threatened to hurt my wife."
"He grabbed her face, squeezed as hard as he could, his little face turned red, and he yelled the worst thing he could think of:"
' 'I'm going to shine a flashlight right in your eye!' "
"I couldn't hold it in. I lost it. Then he threatened me with the same fate for my disrespect, of course."
"He thankfully did not get his flashlight."
- jules083
The Tree She Hides Behind
"We were playing hide and seek in the yard and I found a huge, corn filled pile of shit behind the tree she liked to hide behind."
"She blamed the dog for weeks until the next time we had corn for dinner."
"She finally caved to the truth and admitted the deed."
"She’s 5. And good at secrets."
- xzl830
"You Are Old"
"When my youngest son was 5, he used to walk over to old people and announce to them that they're old."
"He's autistic so he is very blunt and says things as he sees them."
"Just the look of shock on their faces at being called old, and I have to keep a straight face and apologize when I actually want to snort laugh."
- Snoo_46024
Tiny Road Rage
Angry Dave Grohl GIF by Foo FightersGiphy"Family holiday with young grandkids."
"Someone drove down the wrong way at an underground car park and blocked us. One of the adults said 'Oh man' but that was it. No swearing."
"Then a little voice in the back seat said...'f*cking hell!' "
"It was so in context!"
"We all thought it hilarious but had to be the adults and say that wasn't nice to say the F word!"
- MissGreenie
Mommies Diapers
"When my (now 23yo) daughter was about 2, we’d gone to the store to buy groceries and other assorted items including some feminine products."
"The trip took longer than I’d planned and when arrived back home, some expected friends were already there. I apologized for being late, explaining our errands had taken longer than expected."
"My daughter the furthered the explanation by saying, 'Yeah, we had to get mommy some diapers.' ”
- MsTLC_Georgia
Tiny people are just blessed with natural comedic timing.
So tell us, what's the funniest thing you've had to try not to laugh at?
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Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.