Teachers Share The Funniest Excuses Students Have Given For Late Assignments
Often times you learn just how creative a kid is when they're being deceitful.
Homework and assignments are going to be late sometimes.
It's a part of the school cycle.
Instead of getting miffed, take solace in the off-the-wall, nonsensical excuses students come up with.
Back in my day, that first 10 minutes of class was practically a comedy hour.
I mean talk about Oscar worthy performances...
Sometimes you just have to laugh.
Redditor blobbytheblobfish2 wanted to talk about all the reasons behind students turning work in off schedule.
So they asked:
"Teachers of reddit, what's the funniest excuse for being late, not doing homework, etc... you've ever heard from a student?
My go to was always killing off family members.
My life was a massacre for awhile in high school.
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“'Not gonna lie Mr. G, I got in an argument with ****** in the hall. He wants to fight me at lunch. I don’t wanna wuss out but I’d lose that, can you come stop him before he starts s**t?'”
"9th graders are wild."
In a What?!
"I was late once cuz someone threw my bike in a tree. There was no room in the rack so I just threaded the lock through the frame and both wheels. Someone must have tried to steal it and then got frustrated when it wouldn't ride and threw it up into a f**king tree. It took me a while to get it down and untangle the bike lock but luckily I had a photo of it in the tree to show my professor."
"Not a teacher, but I remember in 7th grade a kid walked in a few minutes late and the teacher asked why. Kid said he was looking for a screwdriver because his belt broke. Teacher said he wasn't buying it and told the kid to sit down. Kid said fine, took 2 steps, then his pants fell to his ankles in front of everyone. It was freaking hilarious and perfectly timed comedically."
"My mother was a high school teacher over a decade ago, and once had a student come in half way through the first class and say he was late because he was 'escaping from the pigs.' She didn’t really think much of it, and ignored him. However he was arrested before school ended. It’s one of her favorite stories to tell. 'Sometimes it’s scarier when they don’t lie to you.'"
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"I had the same kid, tell me twice, that his dog ate his chromebook. He said he used his chromebook as a plate to eat a steak and the dog ate it."
Know the details of your lies kids.
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"My first year teaching, it was 4th grade, and one student informed me that she hadn’t done her reading the night before 'because we had pizza for dinner.' It’s been 20 years and I’m still confused."
"The kid’s homework sheet was ripped in half. He said his sheep ate it. I asked why he had his homework outside with the sheep, and he said he didn’t. The sheep was in his kitchen. I asked why and he said they usually let it in the house. He said this in a tone that was like, 'duh.'"
"So later, I asked another kid, who lived next door to this kid, if his neighbor really had sheep in his kitchen. He’s like, 'yeah. That’s why my mom doesn’t let me eat dinner over there anymore. She thinks it’s unsanitary.'"
"My friend and I used to walk to school together and one day we arrived a bit late and my friend was able to truthfully say 'Sorry we're late Miss. Potnineo got hit by a car.' We had been crossing the road at a pedestrian crossing with traffic lights and the light changed right after I stepped off the curb, and I guess the driver was so focused on the green light that he didn't even notice I was still passing in front of his car."
"He started to pull forward, hit me (very slowly obvs), I wasn't hurt but was very startled so I screamed and slammed my hands on his car bonnet to steady myself and not fall under the car. The driver proceeded to yell at me for hitting his car and then drive off. We were already running late anyway and the car incident was over within a few seconds, but it made a great excuse."
"Cows got out last night and I had to chase them home all night. I knew the kid and the family so it wasn't a lie. Good kid who was obviously tired. I told him not to worry about missed homework."
"I used to be the manager of a fast food place in a rural town. There was once a cow in the drive through. It did not respond to me yelling at it. I didn’t get paid enough for that sh*t."
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"'Please excuse Janet from class today. She is in the hospital having her baby' (brought to me by a sibling)."
"'Please excuse Robbie for yesterday. He was home with the Shitt*ns.'"
"Once one of my classmates was late because their pufferfish had escaped."
"Escaped where? It’s a fish!"
"Our cat set my son's 3rd-grade homework on fire by knocking over a lamp. I had worked on it with him earlier, it was finished, he was in bed, and the cat wanted to join him. Knocked over the lamp where the bulb was laying on the papers."
"The smoke alarms went off, my son ran screaming from the room, my wife grabbed the baby and ran outside with the son."
"The fire was JUST getting started, and I was like, may as well try... so I spit in my hands and patted out all the burning paper."
"I packaged up the burnt paper with a full note to the teachers."
"It isn't funny but it is the one I remember clearest. He said he was too tired."
"Kiddo was at school till 2, then would go to german lesseons from 3 to 4:30. Then had English with me from 5 to 6:30. Then he would have to go to French from 7 to 8:30. He was 8."
"He was too tired in my class to even sit up. I got to know a lot of bad parenting styles as a teacher."
"We had a student that got chased by a pack of wild dogs as he was getting out of his car and making his way to the building. He ended up hiding in a tree for like 2 hours and missing multiple classes. The teachers did not believe him until the school administration looked at the security footage and saw that he did indeed get chased by a pack of wild dogs. I should also add that it was in a suburban area"
It even happens to teachers.
"It wasn’t a student, it was me, the teacher. I was marking a students exam and I had a brand new puppy. The ONE time I leave work on the sofa to get a biscuit, Persie (poochie) chewed the whole thing. That was embarrassing to explain the next day. A few years later my then one year old drew all over an entire class worth of books. My husband was watching her btw 🤦♀️. Again, it was mortifying trying to explain that to a class of laughing children!"
Kids are funny. Until they're crazy.
Do you have any hilarious excuses that you or your classmates have used? Let us know in the comments below.
People Explain Which Acceptable Things Today Will Be Frowned Upon In 30 Years
Who knows what the future holds?
We can try to assume, but history has shown us we'd probably be wrong.
It used to feel like every decade, the culture changed.
Now it spins out of control every other day.
One can barely keep up.
We look back at things we thought were acceptable last week to learn it's all outdated.
Decades plus from now?
Reddit had some guesses and predictions of commonplace things today that are bound to change.
Redditor SilentPrints wanted to discuss what the future may hold, so they asked:
"What is something that is generally accepted today that in 30 years, future generations will find unacceptable?"
I'm hoping the two political party system sees some updates.
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"Forcing doctors to work 24-hour shifts. Do you feel safe knowing that this happens all the time, folks?"
"I would definitely hate to think that the doctor doing my life-saving emergency procedure is on his 24th hour."
"Going out/to work while sick. I thought we would already have seen this behavior driven out by the pandemic, but in our desperation for normalcy, we've largely chosen to revert to how we used to handle that, it seems. I think as time moves on and we develop better methods for handling this, such as social norms and testing, we will see future generations act more appropriately, given the general public is now more aware of how varied people's responses to a disease can be."
"Posting kids on social media."
"I find this one to be a truly interesting answer because of how the current younger generations (both young parents posting their children pretty much since birth and children/teenagers with phones) publicize most aspects of their lives on social media that it’s almost impossible for them to comprehend a time prior to them being on it - on the flipside internet privacy, safety, boundaries, and consent with children are becoming topics that are being explored a lot more than they may have even 10 years ago."
"There will still be an overwhelming shortage of physicians with population growth and the continuation of profit driven healthcare. At least in America, if you don’t remove the profit model from medicine these things won’t change. A lawsuit is cheaper than the salaries, especially if you are at a teaching/ learning hospital that has caps on the amount that they can be sued. It shouldn’t be this way but unless you can come up with more money than the insurance companies, it won’t change."
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"Hopefully collecting/selling data about people. Also telemarketers and spoofing numbers. Being on the Do Not Call List isn't enough."
"Just insult them or start to scream, they will never call again and you will have a good laugh. Got the last call 2 years ago and I kinda miss it tbh lol."
This data collecting is scary. Not good.
Just a Hello
"$7 greeting cards."
"Holy sh*t right. I'll see the most basic cards for $7-8 from Hallmark and anything fancy is like $10-20. Hell I even saw miniature cards, the size of like 4 stamps for $5 there."
"5 day/40 hour work weeks."
"The company I work for just changed over to 4 day work weeks. It’s amazing for quality of life."
"Hopefully it’s something that can get more traction, but I doubt it. Especially when so many people seem to be proud of working long hours to make others rich like it’s some badge of honor."
Save it All
"Being wasteful about resources, especially food, water, and energy. In 30 years, those things will be even more scarce."
"Not necessarily disagreeing because idk, but the wording 'even more' doesn't make much sense here. Food water and energy are less scarce now than they've been in human history by a ridiculously large margin."
"Exactly. And unless there's an absolute catastrophe, the continuing development of technology will make it even less scarce."
It's my $$$!!
"ATM withdrawal fees."
"Agreed I think there is going to be a shift with all the little extra fees, not just ATM. But all of those little extra service fees on things like delivery. I'm hoping for things to just be labeled as the exact cost across the board. like coffee is say $3 and everywhere you go coffee is going to be $3 enough with the math question everytime I try to exist please."
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"The way in which people consume connection based social media on a pathological and sometimes addictive level. Some day we'll look back on how crazy it was how kids and grown people alike became infatuated getting likes on mundane posts. Craving social approval like a commodity."
"Whatever inoffensive terms we have now for certain groups of people. They’ll be considered offensive labels thirty years from now. Just look back thirty years at terms we used then that we don’t use now."
"On a lighter note, those 4-5 useless projects given by schools for each subject that need craft supplies to be bought, need many hours of work, and are judged by the aesthetic/decoration rather than the content. After evaluating, they then get tossed out by the teacher in the next few months."
"Absolutely no respect for the time and effort spent on it. The same time could have been used for other actually useful tasks and enormous amount of wastes could have been prevented."
Well I don't know if this is all good or all bad for the future.
What predictions do you have? Let us know in the comments below.
Eccentric people tend to give the impression they are always outgoing and don't have a problem being the center of attention.
But that's not always the case.
People have complex personalities that can't always be categorized strictly within either of the binary classifications of introvert or extrovert.
Sometimes, those who are perceived as eccentrics might actually prefer their solitude but adapt to varying social situations like myself–though my friends may never be cognizant of it.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this concept, Redditor PrimaryRun7955 asked:
"People who enjoy being alone, why?"
It's nothing personal.
"Honestly, I like peace and quiet. People talk too much."
"Yep, most people are exhausting after a while. It's why my favourite people are all quiet introverts."
Break From The Family
"I live in a family of 6. Any moment of being alone is the closest i can get to silence and peace. And chilling while watching a good series or reading my fav books."
Some people like the luxury of not having anyone around influencing them.
I'm In Control
"Because I'm in control and can do whatever I like without being dominated by the ringleader."
Party Of One
"Same. One time I went to a convention alone and it was such a great experience. I got to enjoy the panels I wanted and come and go at my leisure, rest when I wanted. I went with a group in the past and have one friend who dominates and makes wherever they want to go the priority. When I finally did get to decide on a panel, they complained the whole time."
"Going to events alone is superior."
No More Accommodating
"Haven’t seen this one mentioned yet: Not compromising. Might come off as a bit direct or selfish but balancing the social needs or expectations of others constantly can be exhausting."
"Unaccountable autonomy is addictive. Solitude is a luxury if you get used to it."
It's Not That Selfish"I have my own interests and stuff I want to do. Being around other people means you have to deal with them and do stuff together instead of just doing what I really want."
It's about not no longer becoming exhausted.
Dropping The Act
"I get tired pretending I am paying attention when people talk."
"Because I like myself."
At the end of the day, I want to enjoy peace and quiet time and indulge in my own interests not shared by those closest to me.
I want to play my 80s music without being judged. I want to read without distractions. I want to watch my shows without running commentary.
But trust, I also have my itch for other human interaction to share laughs, ideas, and inspiration.
I'm not exclusively an introvert, nor an extrovert.
But I find that finding the right balance keeps me sane, and when I get asked if why I'm such a homebody sometimes, I tell them it's nothing personal.
People Break Down Which Things Other People Enjoy That They Just Can't Understand
Everyone has their own interests, and it's fulfilling and fun to find other people who enjoy the same things, too.
But sometimes when we don't like an activity or TV show that is super popular, it can be especially validating to find someone who doesn't "get it" just as much as we don't.
Redditor Callum_BTW asked:
"What is something you simply can't understand why people enjoy?"
"Child beauty pageant events."
"TV shows like 'The Bachelor,' 'The Bachelorette,' or all reality shows."
In Need of Volume Control
"Videos of people being obnoxiously loud in a pathetic attempt at being funny. Loud is not funny."
"Videos of YouTubers annoying, harassing, or terrorizing random people."
"To me, pranks are supposed to have a tongue-in-cheek element to them where both people leave with mirth about what happened."
"I don’t understand the mindset of enjoying a situation that just left the victims stressed out and upset. It just makes the world worse, and more often than not the guys making these videos just seem like bullies to me."
"The comments are already 90% pointing out the fact that people are not your props and that if something happens to the YouTuber, they have it coming."
"But people still tune in. Go f**king figure."
"So much claustrophobia plus a limited oxygen tank. F**k that."
It's Not For Everyone
"Being pregnant. I’ve heard many women talk about how wonderful it is."
"I myself am not a fan of the experience at all. The amount of discomfort and pain I experience daily, along with the nausea, and how my entire lifestyle has had to be adjusted."
"Exercise. I'll do it for my health, but I never understood why people enjoy it (especially early in the morning, what the f**k) or the 'runner's high' phenomenon. It's a pain in the a** and it's never been fun."
No Tea for Me, Thanks
"One word: Drama."
"We've all seen the videos of people doing their dances for Tiktok in random places. Shopping malls, aisles in Costco, parking lots, on the beach, in the hotel lobby, etc."
"I do not understand who this content appeals to. Who is going online and then watching people, even their friends they know, do a random dance in a random place? What do you get from that content?"
"It isn't funny because they are being serious about the dance. It isn't creative, because it's a dance that they have memorized."
"What is the appeal? I really want to hear from somebody that watches this stuff. I mean, it clearly is one of the most popular things to do on that app. What are you doing?"
"I don't mind some gore when it's well done, but some things just have gore for the sake of gore and it's stupid."
"I can't understand why some people go to the doctor, get a diagnosis and a prescription, then decide the doctor is wrong and whine about it on Reddit. Get a proper second opinion!"
"And yes, they do seem as if they enjoy doing that."
"Bullying or being mean to others, especially unprovoked."
"Who cares what Shelia did. Or what Brad’s kids are doing. Mind your own business."
"Celery has a power of flavor that works when it's lost among much better tasting stuff, works best when you can't pick it out, but if it wasn't there you'd miss it, AKA most stocks."
"But celery on its own, f**k that s**t."
Different Dating Interests
"Casual sex. I hear a lot of stories from my coworkers, and everything about it sounds awkward and unfulfilling at best."
This discussion serves as a reminder how different all of our interests are, and even when something is really popular, there will always be someone out there who isn't a big fan of it.
Even in this supposedly progressive modern age, far too many men feel self-conscious about the natural act of crying.
Feeling that it's not a manly thing to do, even though many would argue that it takes a real man not to be afraid to tear up publicly.
Of course, even the most unabashedly masculine men don't have complete control over their emotions and find their eyes watering unexpectedly every now and then.
Sometimes giving in to grief, sometimes overcome with joy, and sometimes simply owing to a corny commercial for coffee.
Sometimes this happens when nobody's around. Other men aren't so lucky.
"Men of Reddit, when did you last cry and why?"
Genuine Fear For Their Family
"Crying in my car right now."
"My wife has cancer."
"It scares me to death."
"I have to be brave at home."
"My car has become my place to escape to cry and release my fear and sorrow."- shmozzfinish
"At the hospital with my 2-year-old daughter."
"She just had a seizure in the waiting room."
"I felt so lost and useless."
"But it cut the wait time down to seconds!"- garsk05
"Few weeks ago."
"Cried myself to sleep for a few nights."- PizzaPoopF**k
"3 years ago."
"In my fathers funeral."- JOVA1982
"On January 1st, I got a message from my dad that the family dog had a stroke and passed away in the front yard."
"During the time before I stood at his grave just before I left to head back to my home, I just didn’t cry. I was questioning why I wasn’t."
"Then, standing at his grave, just a rush of emotions came in and just sobbed my heart out, then got in the car with my girlfriend and had to drive home."
"His name was Snitchel, and he was a good 14-year-old pupper."
"I’m 21, so he was a part of my life for about 70% of it."
"Was hard to say goodbye, especially because I wasn’t able to see him on Christmas because I got Covid, and I didn’t get to see him open his Christmas gifts like he usually does, during Christmas and in general during his final days."- ASexyCow0090
"My wife died."- Pitbull60usa
It's Been So Long, They Wish It Would Happen.
"I don't remember."
"I feel so sad and lonely sometimes but I still can't cry."
"I wish I could cry like a kid again."- spootex
Too Much All At Once
"About 2 yeats ago, was dealing with a lot of work an personal sh*t."
"Was at my limit of sh*t I can handle."
"I get a phone call that a childhood friend that I've known since we were 4 died in a car accident."- Mechanic_Me_Harder
"A few days ago."
"Broke down due to stress over everyday things."- einarn
Caught By Surprise
"Last night, just thinking about my mum."- TheH1dden1
"Last night, I heard 'Follow You To Virgie' by Tyler Childers for the first time, and memories of my mom hit me like a freight train."
"She’s been gone for 28 years now but when you least expect it the waterworks can come out of nowhere."
"Felt good if I’m honest."- GhostRN
Along With Many Others, No Doubt
"The Last of Us episode 3."- brucek951
A Broken Heart
"My best friend told me that I don't make her happy, and that she doesn't want me in her life anymore."
"I'm in love with her."- helenemayer
"Last night sent my girlfriend the basic Good night message."
"She replied back with 'I love you'."
"Sat there and started crying over the fact that she is the most important person in my life and that I'm so lucky that this woman loves me."- raskoe47
Post Traumatic Stress
"Two weeks ago."
"When it really hit me how much I let my managers abuse me."
"I quit a few days later and I start my new job on the 27th."- Karnezar
While Peter Allen may have encouraged us not to "cry out loud," to "keep it inside" and "learn how to hide [our] feelings," sometimes letting out a good cry proves to be just the therapy we need.
For what it's worth when Liza Minelli (coincidentally or not, Allen's ex-wife) covered the song, she altered it to exactly the opposite message.
When in doubt, go with Liza.