Often times you learn just how creative a kid is when they're being deceitful.
Homework and assignments are going to be late sometimes.
It's a part of the school cycle.
Instead of getting miffed, take solace in the off-the-wall, nonsensical excuses students come up with.
Back in my day, that first 10 minutes of class was practically a comedy hour.
I mean talk about Oscar worthy performances...
Sometimes you just have to laugh.
Redditor blobbytheblobfish2 wanted to talk about all the reasons behind students turning work in off schedule.
So they asked:
"Teachers of reddit, what's the funniest excuse for being late, not doing homework, etc... you've ever heard from a student?
My go to was always killing off family members.
My life was a massacre for awhile in high school.
Mr. G
Baby Boomers Ok GIF by OriginalsGiphy“'Not gonna lie Mr. G, I got in an argument with ****** in the hall. He wants to fight me at lunch. I don’t wanna wuss out but I’d lose that, can you come stop him before he starts s**t?'”
“'Uhhhh…. Sure!?'”
"9th graders are wild."
NerdyRedneck45
In a What?!
"I was late once cuz someone threw my bike in a tree. There was no room in the rack so I just threaded the lock through the frame and both wheels. Someone must have tried to steal it and then got frustrated when it wouldn't ride and threw it up into a f**king tree. It took me a while to get it down and untangle the bike lock but luckily I had a photo of it in the tree to show my professor."
wildling-woman
Broken
"Not a teacher, but I remember in 7th grade a kid walked in a few minutes late and the teacher asked why. Kid said he was looking for a screwdriver because his belt broke. Teacher said he wasn't buying it and told the kid to sit down. Kid said fine, took 2 steps, then his pants fell to his ankles in front of everyone. It was freaking hilarious and perfectly timed comedically."
Dustyoldfart
Oink
"My mother was a high school teacher over a decade ago, and once had a student come in half way through the first class and say he was late because he was 'escaping from the pigs.' She didn’t really think much of it, and ignored him. However he was arrested before school ended. It’s one of her favorite stories to tell. 'Sometimes it’s scarier when they don’t lie to you.'"
JustAFieryLizard
What about your Safari?
Work Marketing GIF by lamarcamcGiphy"I had the same kid, tell me twice, that his dog ate his chromebook. He said he used his chromebook as a plate to eat a steak and the dog ate it."
happylilstego
Know the details of your lies kids.
Burgers next time
Season 7 Nbc GIF by The OfficeGiphy"My first year teaching, it was 4th grade, and one student informed me that she hadn’t done her reading the night before 'because we had pizza for dinner.' It’s been 20 years and I’m still confused."
onjohns
unsanitary...
"The kid’s homework sheet was ripped in half. He said his sheep ate it. I asked why he had his homework outside with the sheep, and he said he didn’t. The sheep was in his kitchen. I asked why and he said they usually let it in the house. He said this in a tone that was like, 'duh.'"
"So later, I asked another kid, who lived next door to this kid, if his neighbor really had sheep in his kitchen. He’s like, 'yeah. That’s why my mom doesn’t let me eat dinner over there anymore. She thinks it’s unsanitary.'"
TemperatureDizzy3257
Miss. Potnineo
"My friend and I used to walk to school together and one day we arrived a bit late and my friend was able to truthfully say 'Sorry we're late Miss. Potnineo got hit by a car.' We had been crossing the road at a pedestrian crossing with traffic lights and the light changed right after I stepped off the curb, and I guess the driver was so focused on the green light that he didn't even notice I was still passing in front of his car."
"He started to pull forward, hit me (very slowly obvs), I wasn't hurt but was very startled so I screamed and slammed my hands on his car bonnet to steady myself and not fall under the car. The driver proceeded to yell at me for hitting his car and then drive off. We were already running late anyway and the car incident was over within a few seconds, but it made a great excuse."
potnineo
Mooooove Along
"Cows got out last night and I had to chase them home all night. I knew the kid and the family so it wasn't a lie. Good kid who was obviously tired. I told him not to worry about missed homework."
Robby777777
"I used to be the manager of a fast food place in a rural town. There was once a cow in the drive through. It did not respond to me yelling at it. I didn’t get paid enough for that sh*t."
usernamesareatupid28
You're Excused
Two Thumbs Up GIF by TV LandGiphy"'Please excuse Janet from class today. She is in the hospital having her baby' (brought to me by a sibling)."
"Also..."
"'Please excuse Robbie for yesterday. He was home with the Shitt*ns.'"
pennyxroyalty
Poor Fish
"Once one of my classmates was late because their pufferfish had escaped."
Jakzter
"Escaped where? It’s a fish!"
morbidpigeon
Cat Problems
"Our cat set my son's 3rd-grade homework on fire by knocking over a lamp. I had worked on it with him earlier, it was finished, he was in bed, and the cat wanted to join him. Knocked over the lamp where the bulb was laying on the papers."
"The smoke alarms went off, my son ran screaming from the room, my wife grabbed the baby and ran outside with the son."
"The fire was JUST getting started, and I was like, may as well try... so I spit in my hands and patted out all the burning paper."
"I packaged up the burnt paper with a full note to the teachers."
Columbus43219
Overtired
"It isn't funny but it is the one I remember clearest. He said he was too tired."
"Kiddo was at school till 2, then would go to german lesseons from 3 to 4:30. Then had English with me from 5 to 6:30. Then he would have to go to French from 7 to 8:30. He was 8."
"He was too tired in my class to even sit up. I got to know a lot of bad parenting styles as a teacher."
Bakecrazy
Tree
"We had a student that got chased by a pack of wild dogs as he was getting out of his car and making his way to the building. He ended up hiding in a tree for like 2 hours and missing multiple classes. The teachers did not believe him until the school administration looked at the security footage and saw that he did indeed get chased by a pack of wild dogs. I should also add that it was in a suburban area"
It even happens to teachers.
"It wasn’t a student, it was me, the teacher. I was marking a students exam and I had a brand new puppy. The ONE time I leave work on the sofa to get a biscuit, Persie (poochie) chewed the whole thing. That was embarrassing to explain the next day. A few years later my then one year old drew all over an entire class worth of books. My husband was watching her btw 🤦♀️. Again, it was mortifying trying to explain that to a class of laughing children!"
Puzzledandhungry
Kids are funny. Until they're crazy.
Do you have any hilarious excuses that you or your classmates have used? Let us know in the comments below.
Redditor SilentPrints wanted to discuss what the future may hold, so they asked:
"What is something that is generally accepted today that in 30 years, future generations will find unacceptable?"
I'm hoping the two political party system sees some updates.
Breaks Required
Greys Anatomy Help GIFGiphy"Forcing doctors to work 24-hour shifts. Do you feel safe knowing that this happens all the time, folks?"
Dork_Magician_Girl
"I would definitely hate to think that the doctor doing my life-saving emergency procedure is on his 24th hour."
rowenaravenclaw0
Stay Home
"Going out/to work while sick. I thought we would already have seen this behavior driven out by the pandemic, but in our desperation for normalcy, we've largely chosen to revert to how we used to handle that, it seems. I think as time moves on and we develop better methods for handling this, such as social norms and testing, we will see future generations act more appropriately, given the general public is now more aware of how varied people's responses to a disease can be."
Techerous
Stay Private
"Posting kids on social media."
Anna_Rapunzel
"I find this one to be a truly interesting answer because of how the current younger generations (both young parents posting their children pretty much since birth and children/teenagers with phones) publicize most aspects of their lives on social media that it’s almost impossible for them to comprehend a time prior to them being on it - on the flipside internet privacy, safety, boundaries, and consent with children are becoming topics that are being explored a lot more than they may have even 10 years ago."
Wowufuh
Money Matters
"There will still be an overwhelming shortage of physicians with population growth and the continuation of profit driven healthcare. At least in America, if you don’t remove the profit model from medicine these things won’t change. A lawsuit is cheaper than the salaries, especially if you are at a teaching/ learning hospital that has caps on the amount that they can be sued. It shouldn’t be this way but unless you can come up with more money than the insurance companies, it won’t change."
FairReason
SCREAM!!
Episode 11 Mike GIF by Jersey Shore Family VacationGiphy"Hopefully collecting/selling data about people. Also telemarketers and spoofing numbers. Being on the Do Not Call List isn't enough."
idratherchangemyold1
"Just insult them or start to scream, they will never call again and you will have a good laugh. Got the last call 2 years ago and I kinda miss it tbh lol."
xBingChilling
This data collecting is scary. Not good.
Just a Hello
"$7 greeting cards."
boxcar-violet
"Holy sh*t right. I'll see the most basic cards for $7-8 from Hallmark and anything fancy is like $10-20. Hell I even saw miniature cards, the size of like 4 stamps for $5 there."
starfire92
Quality
"5 day/40 hour work weeks."
henshep
"The company I work for just changed over to 4 day work weeks. It’s amazing for quality of life."
"Hopefully it’s something that can get more traction, but I doubt it. Especially when so many people seem to be proud of working long hours to make others rich like it’s some badge of honor."
cha0ss0ldier
Save it All
"Being wasteful about resources, especially food, water, and energy. In 30 years, those things will be even more scarce."
Devi1_May_Cry
"Not necessarily disagreeing because idk, but the wording 'even more' doesn't make much sense here. Food water and energy are less scarce now than they've been in human history by a ridiculously large margin."
multiple4
"Exactly. And unless there's an absolute catastrophe, the continuing development of technology will make it even less scarce."
Zealousideal-Bell-68
It's my $$$!!
"ATM withdrawal fees."
steaknife2107
"Agreed I think there is going to be a shift with all the little extra fees, not just ATM. But all of those little extra service fees on things like delivery. I'm hoping for things to just be labeled as the exact cost across the board. like coffee is say $3 and everywhere you go coffee is going to be $3 enough with the math question everytime I try to exist please."
_rosie_365
Unlike...
Social Media Facebook GIFGiphy"The way in which people consume connection based social media on a pathological and sometimes addictive level. Some day we'll look back on how crazy it was how kids and grown people alike became infatuated getting likes on mundane posts. Craving social approval like a commodity."
Vupant
Labels
"Whatever inoffensive terms we have now for certain groups of people. They’ll be considered offensive labels thirty years from now. Just look back thirty years at terms we used then that we don’t use now."
tangcameo
Streamline Learning
"On a lighter note, those 4-5 useless projects given by schools for each subject that need craft supplies to be bought, need many hours of work, and are judged by the aesthetic/decoration rather than the content. After evaluating, they then get tossed out by the teacher in the next few months."
"Absolutely no respect for the time and effort spent on it. The same time could have been used for other actually useful tasks and enormous amount of wastes could have been prevented."
Competitive-Claim750
Well I don't know if this is all good or all bad for the future.
What predictions do you have? Let us know in the comments below.
