Teachers Share The Funniest Excuses Students Have Given For Late Assignments
Often times you learn just how creative a kid is when they're being deceitful.
Homework and assignments are going to be late sometimes.
It's a part of the school cycle.
Instead of getting miffed, take solace in the off-the-wall, nonsensical excuses students come up with.
Back in my day, that first 10 minutes of class was practically a comedy hour.
I mean talk about Oscar worthy performances...
Sometimes you just have to laugh.
Redditor blobbytheblobfish2 wanted to talk about all the reasons behind students turning work in off schedule.
So they asked:
"Teachers of reddit, what's the funniest excuse for being late, not doing homework, etc... you've ever heard from a student?
My go to was always killing off family members.
My life was a massacre for awhile in high school.
Mr. GBaby Boomers Ok GIF by OriginalsGiphy
“'Not gonna lie Mr. G, I got in an argument with ****** in the hall. He wants to fight me at lunch. I don’t wanna wuss out but I’d lose that, can you come stop him before he starts s**t?'”
"9th graders are wild."
In a What?!
"I was late once cuz someone threw my bike in a tree. There was no room in the rack so I just threaded the lock through the frame and both wheels. Someone must have tried to steal it and then got frustrated when it wouldn't ride and threw it up into a f**king tree. It took me a while to get it down and untangle the bike lock but luckily I had a photo of it in the tree to show my professor."
"Not a teacher, but I remember in 7th grade a kid walked in a few minutes late and the teacher asked why. Kid said he was looking for a screwdriver because his belt broke. Teacher said he wasn't buying it and told the kid to sit down. Kid said fine, took 2 steps, then his pants fell to his ankles in front of everyone. It was freaking hilarious and perfectly timed comedically."
"My mother was a high school teacher over a decade ago, and once had a student come in half way through the first class and say he was late because he was 'escaping from the pigs.' She didn’t really think much of it, and ignored him. However he was arrested before school ended. It’s one of her favorite stories to tell. 'Sometimes it’s scarier when they don’t lie to you.'"
What about your Safari?Work Marketing GIF by lamarcamcGiphy
"I had the same kid, tell me twice, that his dog ate his chromebook. He said he used his chromebook as a plate to eat a steak and the dog ate it."
Know the details of your lies kids.
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"My first year teaching, it was 4th grade, and one student informed me that she hadn’t done her reading the night before 'because we had pizza for dinner.' It’s been 20 years and I’m still confused."
"The kid’s homework sheet was ripped in half. He said his sheep ate it. I asked why he had his homework outside with the sheep, and he said he didn’t. The sheep was in his kitchen. I asked why and he said they usually let it in the house. He said this in a tone that was like, 'duh.'"
"So later, I asked another kid, who lived next door to this kid, if his neighbor really had sheep in his kitchen. He’s like, 'yeah. That’s why my mom doesn’t let me eat dinner over there anymore. She thinks it’s unsanitary.'"
"My friend and I used to walk to school together and one day we arrived a bit late and my friend was able to truthfully say 'Sorry we're late Miss. Potnineo got hit by a car.' We had been crossing the road at a pedestrian crossing with traffic lights and the light changed right after I stepped off the curb, and I guess the driver was so focused on the green light that he didn't even notice I was still passing in front of his car."
"He started to pull forward, hit me (very slowly obvs), I wasn't hurt but was very startled so I screamed and slammed my hands on his car bonnet to steady myself and not fall under the car. The driver proceeded to yell at me for hitting his car and then drive off. We were already running late anyway and the car incident was over within a few seconds, but it made a great excuse."
"Cows got out last night and I had to chase them home all night. I knew the kid and the family so it wasn't a lie. Good kid who was obviously tired. I told him not to worry about missed homework."
"I used to be the manager of a fast food place in a rural town. There was once a cow in the drive through. It did not respond to me yelling at it. I didn’t get paid enough for that sh*t."
You're ExcusedTwo Thumbs Up GIF by TV LandGiphy
"'Please excuse Janet from class today. She is in the hospital having her baby' (brought to me by a sibling)."
"'Please excuse Robbie for yesterday. He was home with the Shitt*ns.'"
"Once one of my classmates was late because their pufferfish had escaped."
"Escaped where? It’s a fish!"
"Our cat set my son's 3rd-grade homework on fire by knocking over a lamp. I had worked on it with him earlier, it was finished, he was in bed, and the cat wanted to join him. Knocked over the lamp where the bulb was laying on the papers."
"The smoke alarms went off, my son ran screaming from the room, my wife grabbed the baby and ran outside with the son."
"The fire was JUST getting started, and I was like, may as well try... so I spit in my hands and patted out all the burning paper."
"I packaged up the burnt paper with a full note to the teachers."
"It isn't funny but it is the one I remember clearest. He said he was too tired."
"Kiddo was at school till 2, then would go to german lesseons from 3 to 4:30. Then had English with me from 5 to 6:30. Then he would have to go to French from 7 to 8:30. He was 8."
"He was too tired in my class to even sit up. I got to know a lot of bad parenting styles as a teacher."
"We had a student that got chased by a pack of wild dogs as he was getting out of his car and making his way to the building. He ended up hiding in a tree for like 2 hours and missing multiple classes. The teachers did not believe him until the school administration looked at the security footage and saw that he did indeed get chased by a pack of wild dogs. I should also add that it was in a suburban area"
It even happens to teachers.
"It wasn’t a student, it was me, the teacher. I was marking a students exam and I had a brand new puppy. The ONE time I leave work on the sofa to get a biscuit, Persie (poochie) chewed the whole thing. That was embarrassing to explain the next day. A few years later my then one year old drew all over an entire class worth of books. My husband was watching her btw 🤦♀️. Again, it was mortifying trying to explain that to a class of laughing children!"
Kids are funny. Until they're crazy.
Do you have any hilarious excuses that you or your classmates have used? Let us know in the comments below.
While people try their best to be pleasant, sometimes we are so wrapped up in our own worlds that we don't realize some of our behaviors or actions aren't appreciated by everyone.
Things like talking on the phone in a public place or listening to music without headphones have become so normal that people don't always realize others may be irritated by this behavior.
There any many things that some people consider normal that others think are rude.
Curious to know what some of those things are, Redditor dentistani asked:
"What is something people find normal, but you find horribly rude?"
What Happened To Private Conversations?
"Face timing in public. Not everyone wants to be a part of your personal life or conversation."
"Talking on speaker phone in public. The number of people I see holding their phone out in front of their face while they yell into it is annoying."
Don't Answer The Question
"When someone talks to you or asks you a question, then when I respond with a meaningful answer, the other person just talks about something else to someone else or just doesn't respond."
"My MIL does this. Whenever we visit, she'll ask me a question about work/my side of the family/a hobby I have/whatever as a platitude, and a lot of times before I'm even done answering, she'll be like, "Oh, hey, [my nephew], tell them about your baseball game last weekend.""
May We Meet Again
"Depending on culture, people will propose to meet up again but they do not really mean it. Where I am from, if you tell someone you want to meet up again you actually mean it. I learned it the hard way when I took people for their word and tried to arrange a meet up but they'd ignore me."
"They say they do this to be polite but I consider it more rude. Just say ''goodbye''"
I'm Not Here
"People just showing up for a ‘surprise visit’, like I love my family and friends but sometimes I just don’t want to hang out and a bit of forewarning would be nice"
"I've had to set boundaries with my mother as she was doing the "We're coming down and going to stay with you thing." Like could you ask?! Besides she's exhausting and never stops talking and needing attention."
"If someone shows up unannounced at my door I just don’t answer. F*ck em"
Text Me Back!
"Expecting me to be within reach at all times. Just because I have a phone does't mean I hate you because I leave it in the other room sometimes, or go on a walk without it. I'm not dead if I take a couple of hours to get back to you."
"There’s a special place in hell for people who keep messaging you trying to get your attention simply because they want it and not because they have anything important to say."
Can't Hear Myself Think
"Kids watching videos or playing games with volume on. Sorry I was trying to enjoy my own thoughts."
"Listening to anything on your phone without headphones/earbuds while around other people. Don't care if it's radio, music, social media. Worse if other people are trying to have a conversation."
Personal Space, Please
"When clients stand directly behind me, looking over my shoulder at my computer screen while I'm at work. 1) Back up, I don't want you standing close to me. 2) I did not invite you to look at my screen, and it is intrusive and it is uncomfortable to have you watch me work."
Far Too Personal
"Asking married or older people why they don’t have kids."
"Having your phone out while socializing. I’ve stopped hanging out with people who can’t put their phone away while having a conversation, it’s so rude."
"There was a guy I was seeing for a couple months and when I would message him he would take HOURS to respond most of the time. But then when we would be out together at dinner he would be messaging on his phone right in front of me, replying to his mates group chat. Really showed his priorities."
Someone's Not Listening
"Talking over somebody whilst they’re already talking."
"Everybody does it and it’s so ignorant! It’s as if they’re saying “yeah I’m not interested in what you’ve got to say, Me, me, me and me…etc…”"
"My husband does this! Sometimes I just stop talking. If I’m irritated, I’ll say, “Sorry, did my talking get in the way of your interrupting?”"
Going, Going, Gone
"Ghosting has become pretty normal and I hate it"
"I'll never understand why this has been normalized"
"What confuses me even more is why people get so defensive when you say that it's a cruel thing to do to someone."
Ask Me First
"Filming people without their permission, especially if they are dancing or singing. Just because people are looking silly doesn’t mean you get to make them your joke."
"pushing someones face into a cake on their special day, that is terribly rude. Not funny or cool."
"Dangerous too - fancy cakes with multiple layers can be held together by wooden skewers. People have literally lost eyeballs that way."
"Just this past summer, I attended a wedding where the bride gently put a bite of cake on a fork after they had cut it together then fed it to her husband... Even cupping her hand underneath so no crumbs or icing could fall on his suit. And instead of doing the same to her, the groom full on chased his bride down to smash cake in her face super hard and throw it all over her while she was being dead serious trying to run away saying "no. please don't!" . And while everyone laughed like hyenas and cheered him on like it was just fine. One big joke."
"She looked so heartbroken after with cake all over her hair (which looked beautiful), her face (with perfect make up) and her dress (which was a unique style of dress that she had sewn a piece of one her father's shirts on since he had passed. So her dress was obviously something that she put a lot of thought and care into). He then proceeded to chastise her after she was upset in front of us, threw back his champagne in one gulp and then went back to the bar then dance floor."
"She spent the next 45 mins trying to fix herself. F*ck that guy forever. She's a distant cousin and although we aren't super close, I have ALWAYS known her to be a perfectly sweet, kind and loveable person so I couldn't believe she was with this jerk! I hope it's gotten better but.. My hopes aren't high for her. I wish I had felt comfortable enough to approach her and tell her she deserved better. I should have anyway."
Mind Your Own Business!
"When someone you don't know very well asks you personal questions."
"Add to that, someone asks you personal questions you don't know too well and feigns that are suddenly really concerned/ supportive of your struggles. Like I didn't want to be vulnerable in the first place with you and now I feel like I have to be appreciative for your fake a*s empathy."
I 100% agree with that last one!
Do you have anything you'd like to add? Let us know in the comments below.
Perhaps one reason horror films are so popular is that people know they are watching a work of fiction.
As soon as they leave the theatre or turn off the TV, they are out of the terrifying world they've been a part of for two hours but got the rush of adrenaline they need, similar to riding a roller coaster or thrill ride.
For this reason, no movie, TV show, or book, no matter how scary they are, can never equal being scared in real life.
As finding yourself, or worse your family, in a dangerous and/or life-threatening situation is an experience so terrifying, it genuinely defies description.
"What was the scariest moment in your life, and why?"
Witnessing A Near-Death Experience
"I walked in on my dad, looking like he was dead (eyes open, but lifeless)."
"He was suffering a full cardiac arrest."
"I called 911 and gave him chest compressions for 10 minutes until EMTs arrived."
"When they got there they told me his heart and lungs had stopped (full cardiac arrest) and they were struggling getting a pulse."
"I thought no way this is it and he did end up getting a pulse, being transported to the hospital and having his heart operated on."
"He survived!"- Caseylightning
A Life Nearly Over Before It Even Began
"When I went into preterm labor at 25 weeks."
"Same night she was born but wasn't making any sound."
"She was floppy and not breathing."
"So grateful to our team who breathed for her."
"She's delayed some but she's now 20 months and thriving."- prettysouthernchick
Taken By Surprise In Your Sleep
"When a poster hanging above my bed fell on me in the middle of the night."
"Thought I was being attacked."- Midnite_St0rm
"Hit black ice on an exit."
"My Sis in the car with me, I was driving."
"IDK how many 360's we did."
"Ended up not hitting anything and stopped inches from a light pole."
"How we both didn't piss our pants is beyond me."
"We were in our teens."
"It was the worst carnival ride ever."- pgabrielfreak
"I used to live near a large open stormwater drain with no fencing around it."
"Three drunk guys drove their car straight into it."
"I went out and found the driver trying to get his friends foot out of the windshield."
"On the field on other side of the drain I saw the third passenger who was covered in blood."
"I asked if they were ok and my neighbor called the ambulance/police."
"The blood covered friend passed out and was twitching so I ran to the car, grabbed a towel from the back seat and ran to help him."
"I found a large, deep cut on the back of his neck/head."
"I rolled him to his back and used the weight of his head to put pressure on the wound."
"I was talking to him, trying to keep him awake and he went into shock, twitching and unresponsive."
"This was the moment I thought a man died in my hands."
"I was able to wake him and the ambulance took over from there."
"That was the most harrowing moment of my life."- TinaDunk559
Escaping For A Better Life
"It was the night that I (17 F[emale]) was escaping to Europe from Turkey (at the time I was 15)."
"I wouldn't call it a moment because it was a whole night."
"A few things happened so I'm gonna write them down here."
"The first one was actually in daylight."
"The driver was taking the group that I am escaping with to the border."
"And out of 5 people, at least 3 of them were wanted by the police ."
"We weren't criminals, don't worry."
"Government is led by a dictator so anything you do that they don't like is a crime."
" So as you can guess, we weren't supposed to get pulled aside by the police to check IDs."
"But there was a control thing on the highway and they were almost gonna stop us."
"We got lucky and the police pulled the truck in front of us and we were let through."
"I was so scared that I hold my mom's hand and didn't let go until we passed them."
"After I let go, her hand was white as paper."
"The second one is when we were out of the car and running to the border with two smugglers leading us."
"They were stopping us to lie on the ground every 30 seconds just in case there are soldiers."
"But one time they stopped us and we lay on the ground for almost 30 minutes."
"The smugglers were gone and all we can see was the starry sky."
"We didn't move, breathe when necessary, and didn't say a thing for 30 minutes."
"It was quite scary."
"And this one happened in Greece."
"We were in Greece for about 10 minutes before the soldiers found us."
"The smugglers told us to leave our bags on the ground and put our hands up if we ever see a Greek soldier."
"I am not an idiot but after some emotional breakdown on the way there and seeing the soldiers with guns, I started crying and made up all those weird scenarios where they execute us by a firing squad lmao."
"I know where it doesn't sound like a really scary thing but it is quite hard to explain the atmosphere. "
'You have to live it to understand it."- semrAwashere
Fear Of Flying
"I'm absolutely terrified of flying, so being stuck on a long haul flight with what I considered to be terrible turbulence wasn't exactly fun."
"I was in an absolute state of panic and was certain we'd crash and die."
"I've avoided flying ever since and when I have to in the future, I'll make sure to get whatever prescription that knocks me out completely."
"If I still know who, where and why I am when I'm boarding, I'm not getting on that plane."- sadsledgemain
Nearly Dying... TWICE
"Had a couple of them that I couldn't decide between."
"First one: Driving fast on a rural road, two lanes & hilly."
"I pop over a hill and there's a car stopped in the lane just ahead, and another car coming from the other direction."
"No way to stop in time and no open lane.'
"Everything went slow motion in my head, and I whipped my car onto the tiny gravel shoulder with inches to spare and got around without losing control."
"My friends in the car were all screaming."
"Second one: Just got out of surgery for my neck and was pretty much immobilized."
"They told me if I felt any pain to click the button for the morphine drip taped to my hand, and that it self limits to every 15 minutes."
"I'm in pain and click it."
"This goes on for a while and the pain gets worse and worse."
"The young attendant finally starts paying attention and says 'Oh, We left the clip on the drip line' and pulls it off.'
"I knew I'd clicked that button a few times so there was probably a lot in the line."
"My last memory was the older nurse in the room yelling 'Nooooo!' and lunging towards me."- lapsangsouchogn
Even Stephen King couldn't come up with material this terrifying.
One of the hardest things in the world is being able to afford life's necessities. We all work and make money (or have parents that do), but having money and being able to afford what you need are two different things.
I'm not just talking about the latest gadgets, either.
Not having a fancy knife set or the newest Apple Watch won't destroy your life.
I'm talking about the things so vital to our survival that they should be cheap, but are actually near impossible to afford.
Redditors know this to be true and are ready to share what some of those vital things are.
It all started when Redditor vashisthaa asked:
"What should be cheap and affordable but is not?"
Money Doesn't Account For Taste
"Caviar. It tastes awful, and comes in mass quantities, and costs $50 for a small tin. Idk why."
"I don't understand how something whose patent was given away for dirt can become so expensive."
"45 years ago, my sister went into diabetic coma, nearly died. My parents, of meager means, were able to get her insulin for free. What's going on now is unacceptable."
"Anything mental health related, really."
"My psychiatrist reluctantly prescribed me meds with the intention I seek therapy. I keep telling him I’m too poor and “maybe this summer”. But I’ll never be able to afford 200$ a session to talk to someone."
A Monthly Expense
"Tampons, pads, birth control. Any product that is needed for women that is considered a ‘Luxury’ in todays standards"
"As someone with a uterus I agree."
"They should be free. Bleeding is involuntary. Plenty of Dr's offices and clinics give out free condoms. They should do the same with period products."
What Came First?
"Seriously, what exactly happened in the last two years? Did the hens unionize?"
We Need More Apples A Day
"I would assume, for Americans, health care."
"Health care...f*cking 'Murica"
Secondary Health Care
"Including eyes and teeth, for those out there who (like me) aren't American."
"Yeah, a visit to the ER doesn't cost me a cent and my meds are very affordable, but the optometrist and the dentist still cost me a lot, even if they're partially covered by insurance and the parts that aren't covered can be deducted from my income tax. I shouldn't have to reconfigure my whole budget every time I have a cavity or need a new pair of glasses."
"As a fellow new yorker"
"Montrealer chiming in. Hear-hear! Yeah, our rents are far more affordable, but then our salaries are proportionally lower, so if you're unwilling to have roommates or are unlucky in love, good luck to ya!"
"My older sister is currently renting an apartment in a somewhat cheap neighborhood and she works as a waitress. She says that the rent is very expensive even though they are 3 roommates."
"(I don't pay the rent since I am a school student and I live with my family)"
"Baby formula. It’s required in order to feed an infant if breastfeeding isn’t an option (and yes, there are absolutely many valid reasons why it might not be possible to breastfeed. Lack of milk supply, baby has an intolerance to it, mother is taking certain medications, mother’s mental health prevents it, adoption, and that’s just what comes to mind off the top of my head). You literally cannot feed an infant anything other than milk until at least 6 months, and it’s not always an option to rely entirely on donated breastmilk. I’m sure in many locations, donated milk isn’t even a thing!"
"For children old enough for solid food, it’s possible to choose budget-friendly options just like for adults’ food, but there’s no alternative for little infants. Milk (breast or formula) is the only option, and the companies know that so they know they can charge a premium and still sell their product. This leads to families trying to stretch their supply of formula in unhealthy ways like watering it down (babies can’t regulate their electrolytes well, it can be very harmful) or adding fillers like rice (doesn’t have the required nutrition, again babies that young can’t adapt to macro/micronutrient imbalances the same way older children can)"
Insult To Injury
"I agree! It should be very expensive to get a marriage license and very cheap to get a divorce decree."
Sounds About Right
"Electricity. When you provide something in such quantities as to turn it into an everyday commodity, you don't get to charge double fees to sustain everyday life."
"Like increasing rent because you live on a higher floor."
Free For All
"Fruits. God allows these to grow without human interference mostly. They should be everywhere like hand sanitizer. Take some if you are hungry .. just not the entire Container"
A Girl's Best Friend
"Diamonds. They are one of the most common stones in precious gemstones, and yet -- thanks to De Beers Corporation marketing them for the last century and gaining a monopoly world wide on their mining, they are super high priced. Fake diamonds can be made for 50-100 dollars per carrot that other than a specific frequency of light passing through them slightly differently are unrecognizably different in every way (they literally are diamonds just made faster). Given that and a lot of non-diamond look a-likes you would think it would be less valuable, but nope... they're still crazy expensive for no reason other than monopoly. Ruby's and Emeralds (even more so) are actual rare stones unlike diamonds (common)."
Living. Just Livin
"living (your life)"
"No kidding. Brought here against my will and then have to work my a** off to just keep my head a little above the water."
"I only stick around out of pure f*cking spite."
"If living was cheap, everybody would do it."
The sad thing is, this is all true.
Do you have anything you'd like to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.
Oh, the things we do for love...
Are we stupid, crazy, naive, or merely desperate?
Or all of the above?
Love looks like such a good time.
So of course everyone is on the hunt for it.
And sometimes we fall into people who don't love us, but we try to make it work.
This can lead us to do some incredibly questionable things when we look back.
One Redditor wanted to hear about all the things people have done for the ones that didn't love them them back, so they asked:
"What's the stupidest thing you ever did for a guy/girl?"
I can't tell you my secrets.
I am the epitome of foolish.
Us FirstBreathe Mtv GIF by INTO ACTIONGiphy
"Put them before my mental health, we’re all responsible for taking care of ourselves."
Young & Stupid
"When I was younger I was awarded a settlement from a motorcycle crash; at the time, I was with my ex. I bought and repaired a car for her bday and paid off half her student loans. She was not a nice person, and I ended the relationship. Damn being young and naive."
"Fly to another state to meet up with someone from online. We met on discord and video'ed a lot for 7 months before deciding to meet irl. We texted and talked all the way to boarding. When I landed, I texted her no response. I called, straight to voice mail."
"Went on discord, she deleted her account. Instead of flying back, I spent the weekend exploring a new city. Wasn't going to pass up going to the Smithsonian Museum and seeing the landmarks. To this day, I have no clue as to why she ghosted me."
"Baked cookies and created this '100 things I love about you' jar with small bits of paper to open everyday for a new reason so my ex could see the amazing traits he had and what I admired. This was supposed to be a V-day gift, but he cancelled plans to see friends instead lol."
"Valentines Day, notorious for being a day to skip the partner and hang with the bros."
Nevadajimmy fallon wow GIF by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy FallonGiphy
"Gave up a position with the Secret Service for a woman I thought I was going to marry. A year later she was living in Nevada with her soon-to-be husband."
Maybe you can go back? We need security.
DuhBehind The Scenes GIF by BET AwardsGiphy
"My 17-year-old brother told me he bought a girl a $350 bracelet for Christmas AFTER she already told him she 'didn't like him like that.' We all let him know how dumb that was."
"My high school sweetheart and I ended up going to different colleges. I went to a pretty cheap state school, she went to a very expensive private university in a big city. Sent her a check for something like $10K since my tuition was basically zero and she needed it way more. Same day the check cleared she texted me to say that she'd been seeing someone else and it was over between us."
Bad for Business
"I built a catering business from the ground up because my friend said she wanted to stop stripping since she would cry about the bad treatment all the time. After the business was fully operational and I even got the first couple gigs, all she had to do was pass out business cards and talk to potential clients at an expensive charity dinner and she bailed so she could hang out at home. I already had a well paying job so didn't really need a side business. I bet she is still stripping now coming up on 40."
"Walked 9 miles in tornado weather with freezing cold rain just to see her. Thought she was worth it. We were together for 4 years and then I found out she had been cheating on me with her blood brother for the past 2 years. I found out because I got the clap from her and she let slip that her brother also had the clap."
No ExcusesPhaedra Parks Bye Felicia GIFGiphy
"Forgave him for cheating. Caught him cheating again a few months later."
"Same. I stayed with him, he continued to cheat. I finally cut him loose when the other girl became pregnant."
"That's why I have a 0 tolerance for cheating. 1 time is enough to end the relationship or even a marriage. No excuses. No forgiveness. No ok let's try it for the kids."
Oh my word. Humans make some questionable choices when our brains are flooded with love hormones.
Do you have any crazy love confessions for us? Let us know in the comments below.