Often times you learn just how creative a kid is when they're being deceitful.
Homework and assignments are going to be late sometimes.
It's a part of the school cycle.
Instead of getting miffed, take solace in the off-the-wall, nonsensical excuses students come up with.
Back in my day, that first 10 minutes of class was practically a comedy hour.
I mean talk about Oscar worthy performances...
Sometimes you just have to laugh.
Redditor blobbytheblobfish2 wanted to talk about all the reasons behind students turning work in off schedule.
So they asked:
"Teachers of reddit, what's the funniest excuse for being late, not doing homework, etc... you've ever heard from a student?
My go to was always killing off family members.
My life was a massacre for awhile in high school.
Mr. G
Baby Boomers Ok GIF by OriginalsGiphy“'Not gonna lie Mr. G, I got in an argument with ****** in the hall. He wants to fight me at lunch. I don’t wanna wuss out but I’d lose that, can you come stop him before he starts s**t?'”
“'Uhhhh…. Sure!?'”
"9th graders are wild."
NerdyRedneck45
In a What?!
"I was late once cuz someone threw my bike in a tree. There was no room in the rack so I just threaded the lock through the frame and both wheels. Someone must have tried to steal it and then got frustrated when it wouldn't ride and threw it up into a f**king tree. It took me a while to get it down and untangle the bike lock but luckily I had a photo of it in the tree to show my professor."
wildling-woman
Broken
"Not a teacher, but I remember in 7th grade a kid walked in a few minutes late and the teacher asked why. Kid said he was looking for a screwdriver because his belt broke. Teacher said he wasn't buying it and told the kid to sit down. Kid said fine, took 2 steps, then his pants fell to his ankles in front of everyone. It was freaking hilarious and perfectly timed comedically."
Dustyoldfart
Oink
"My mother was a high school teacher over a decade ago, and once had a student come in half way through the first class and say he was late because he was 'escaping from the pigs.' She didn’t really think much of it, and ignored him. However he was arrested before school ended. It’s one of her favorite stories to tell. 'Sometimes it’s scarier when they don’t lie to you.'"
JustAFieryLizard
What about your Safari?
Work Marketing GIF by lamarcamcGiphy"I had the same kid, tell me twice, that his dog ate his chromebook. He said he used his chromebook as a plate to eat a steak and the dog ate it."
happylilstego
Know the details of your lies kids.
Burgers next time
Season 7 Nbc GIF by The OfficeGiphy"My first year teaching, it was 4th grade, and one student informed me that she hadn’t done her reading the night before 'because we had pizza for dinner.' It’s been 20 years and I’m still confused."
onjohns
unsanitary...
"The kid’s homework sheet was ripped in half. He said his sheep ate it. I asked why he had his homework outside with the sheep, and he said he didn’t. The sheep was in his kitchen. I asked why and he said they usually let it in the house. He said this in a tone that was like, 'duh.'"
"So later, I asked another kid, who lived next door to this kid, if his neighbor really had sheep in his kitchen. He’s like, 'yeah. That’s why my mom doesn’t let me eat dinner over there anymore. She thinks it’s unsanitary.'"
TemperatureDizzy3257
Miss. Potnineo
"My friend and I used to walk to school together and one day we arrived a bit late and my friend was able to truthfully say 'Sorry we're late Miss. Potnineo got hit by a car.' We had been crossing the road at a pedestrian crossing with traffic lights and the light changed right after I stepped off the curb, and I guess the driver was so focused on the green light that he didn't even notice I was still passing in front of his car."
"He started to pull forward, hit me (very slowly obvs), I wasn't hurt but was very startled so I screamed and slammed my hands on his car bonnet to steady myself and not fall under the car. The driver proceeded to yell at me for hitting his car and then drive off. We were already running late anyway and the car incident was over within a few seconds, but it made a great excuse."
potnineo
Mooooove Along
"Cows got out last night and I had to chase them home all night. I knew the kid and the family so it wasn't a lie. Good kid who was obviously tired. I told him not to worry about missed homework."
Robby777777
"I used to be the manager of a fast food place in a rural town. There was once a cow in the drive through. It did not respond to me yelling at it. I didn’t get paid enough for that sh*t."
usernamesareatupid28
You're Excused
Two Thumbs Up GIF by TV LandGiphy"'Please excuse Janet from class today. She is in the hospital having her baby' (brought to me by a sibling)."
"Also..."
"'Please excuse Robbie for yesterday. He was home with the Shitt*ns.'"
pennyxroyalty
Poor Fish
"Once one of my classmates was late because their pufferfish had escaped."
Jakzter
"Escaped where? It’s a fish!"
morbidpigeon
Cat Problems
"Our cat set my son's 3rd-grade homework on fire by knocking over a lamp. I had worked on it with him earlier, it was finished, he was in bed, and the cat wanted to join him. Knocked over the lamp where the bulb was laying on the papers."
"The smoke alarms went off, my son ran screaming from the room, my wife grabbed the baby and ran outside with the son."
"The fire was JUST getting started, and I was like, may as well try... so I spit in my hands and patted out all the burning paper."
"I packaged up the burnt paper with a full note to the teachers."
Columbus43219
Overtired
"It isn't funny but it is the one I remember clearest. He said he was too tired."
"Kiddo was at school till 2, then would go to german lesseons from 3 to 4:30. Then had English with me from 5 to 6:30. Then he would have to go to French from 7 to 8:30. He was 8."
"He was too tired in my class to even sit up. I got to know a lot of bad parenting styles as a teacher."
Bakecrazy
Tree
"We had a student that got chased by a pack of wild dogs as he was getting out of his car and making his way to the building. He ended up hiding in a tree for like 2 hours and missing multiple classes. The teachers did not believe him until the school administration looked at the security footage and saw that he did indeed get chased by a pack of wild dogs. I should also add that it was in a suburban area"
It even happens to teachers.
"It wasn’t a student, it was me, the teacher. I was marking a students exam and I had a brand new puppy. The ONE time I leave work on the sofa to get a biscuit, Persie (poochie) chewed the whole thing. That was embarrassing to explain the next day. A few years later my then one year old drew all over an entire class worth of books. My husband was watching her btw 🤦♀️. Again, it was mortifying trying to explain that to a class of laughing children!"
Puzzledandhungry
Kids are funny. Until they're crazy.
Do you have any hilarious excuses that you or your classmates have used? Let us know in the comments below.
"Sailors of reddit,what's the most unusual thing you've experienced while at sea?"
Don't Even Want To Know How It Got There...
'Out of a submarine periscope, we saw a fully inflated, pink, unicorn floaty toy."
"We were very far from any civilization."- mbreinich
blow up summergram GIF by SummerfestGiphyThe Ordinary And The Extraordinary
"We were sailing (330ft. ship) from the North Sea to west Africa."
"I was off shift and sleeping."
"I woke up and for some reason decided to go up to the bridge, which is something I usually never did when I could be sleeping or eating."
"It was night, so all the lights were off on the bridge save for a few red ones, and I noticed how bright it was outside."
"I went over to starboard and the f*cking white cliffs of Dover were completely illuminated by a full moon."
"Just beaming moonlight."
"It was one of the most amazing things I've ever seen."
"Of course the mate on duty was English and was nonchalantly like 'yeah, that's Dover'."
"This one isn't me, but a Welsh guy I met in the Caribbean."
"He had done a few transatlantic trips in a small sailboat so had tons of ocean experience."
"A big storm caught him, with huge rolling waves."
"He decided to heave to to ride it out (basically using your sail and the rudder to put the brakes on and give yourself a smoother ride)."
"He was in the cockpit and was riding up one of the bigger waves."
"The next part is wild."
"He swears to god on his grandmother's grave that a giant whale just below the surface cruised up the wave beside him and just stared straight at him."
"He describes looking into this animal's huge eyeball, just looking back at him, for what was probably a couple seconds but he said felt like minutes, from a few feet away."
"He's never lied or really even exaggerated otherwise, so I believe him."
"Can you imagine seeing that?"
"Sometimes I really miss being at sea."- Zebulon_V
blue whale sea GIF by Monterey Bay AquariumGiphyLes Poissons!
"Flying fish timed a wave right and jumped out the water and through an open hatch directly into the galley."
"Freeboard was like 7 metres."
"The chefs sh*t themselves haha."- BassEvers
Not A Sight Anyone Wants To See
"I was on a run between California and Hawaii, and I was out on deck doing rounds on deck equipment, checking oil levels etc."
"I saw one of those free fall lifeboats just hanging out in the distance and was like wtf."
"I called the bridge, they said a ship accidentally dropped their lifeboat a few years ago and now it turns up from time to time."
"Was glad to know no one was on it, but it gave me a brief scare."- thecactuswrench
Heartbreaking
"Lots of crazy little things, but I was on a ship that lost a man overboard in the Atlantic."
"Reports were that a life saver was thrown immediately after he fell in, the lookout said he saw a swell overtake him as he was going toward the life saver."
"And that was it."
"We searched for hours, never seeing a single sign."
"Search lights in the water."
"Dark shaped swimming past them.'
"Makes you realize how small we are in nature."
"Still think about it to this day."- ConstantTheory255
A Literal Whale Of A Tale
"Was sailing off the coast of the big island Hawaii in February."
"We were mostly interested in fishing since the wind had died down."
"There were no other boats around that were visible and it was a very calm and peaceful day."
"Now often you'll see Humpback whales breaching in Feb and you can also hear them singing if you are underwater."
"That is cool enough, but this encounter was awesome."
"I was baiting a hook, and suddenly on the starboard side of the boat a pod of about 20 melon head whales comes up right beside the boat and they just start staring us down."
"I lean over and this one dude moves a little closer and just keeps moving his head so he can eye me up and down."
"They all just kept staring at us with an expression of 'WTF are these? Hoo interesting, don't look like they can swim at all'."
"They eyed us at close quarters for about 5 min and then just took off."
"The weirdest part of the encounter was the close eye contact I had with the first whale was definitely two individuals sizing each other up."
"Best part of the whole day."- CalEPygous
Ocean Wildlife GIF by BBC AmericaGiphyA Unique And Magical Experience
"Was gently sailing down the northeast cost of New Zealand heading into Auckland at about 2-3 am."
"I was on watch and the other crew member was asleep below."
"It was a pitch black night, no moon, and the sea was very still so as soon as you look overboard all you saw was black!"
"Eventually you saw stars but it was impossible to distinguish sea from sky."
"As I was keeping a watch I saw what I thought was a shooting star just MUCH bigger!"
"It came again and again agin until there were about 30 of these shining glittering trails shooting around the boat."
"It was very disconcerting and it took me a few minutes to click what was happening."
"We had sailed into a patch of luminescence while dolphins were swimming around the boat planing on both it and our wake."
'I had not noticed them due to it being so dark!"
"For something so simple it was a very moving almost spiritual experience and it will remain one of my all time most fondest memories!"- Smh_nz
Never Leave Port If You're Not Prepared To Do So
"French Navy navigator here."
"A few years back, went underway from Toulon on a high sea patrol ship for a routine patrol."
"The sea was very rough out of the roadstead, coming from the west, which was completely contradictory with what our weather briefs were indicating."
"Captain decided to go ahead nonetheless."
"We took a heading towards the east to enter Hyères Bay, when we entered in the pass, sh*t went down."
"I was outside, starboard wing of the bridge to take bearings when the ship took a 35 degrees list on starboard."
"If I had held my arm out, it would have been underwater."
"I held on the compass for dear life, because going overboard in that weather would have probably meant death."
"Needless to say, I sh*t myself.
"When the ship leveled, my boss went out to check if I was still there, and ordered me to go below to check how bad the damage was to some of our gear."
"I went, and when I was at the main deck, the ship took a 43 degrees list to starboard."
'I was then blessed with the horrific sight of a washing machine that was strapped in a room by the hull on portside punch a hole through the bulkhead and go straight to starboard WITHOUT touching the deck."
"Also, a lot of the firefighting equipment (axes, hoses, pumps...) was just flying all over the place, with guys from the security department desperately trying to catch it and fasten it."
"At that point, we had entered the bay and had better weather."
"We had lost electricity in the bridge and CIC, so the captain decided to wait in the bay for the weather to calm down."
'When it did the next day, we pulled back into port for repairs."
"This little escapade resulted in a few bruises, the electrical network of the bridge and CIC being badly damaged (the guys that were supposed to strap down sh*t didn't do it correctly and got punished) and for me, a reminder of my mortality."
"On a more positive note, I once saw a stork land on our 100mm turret after a sandstorm off Libya, and stay there for several hours."
"Also, we had a couple of sperm whales with a calf swimming alongside, for almost a day off Ivory Coast."
"When you see that kind of stuff, it doesn't matter if you are 3 months in or 20 years in."
"You feel like a kid again."- Hans_Von_Seemann
All Aglow
"My area occasionally gets phytoplankton blooms."
"If you're boating at night and sail into a bloom, the wake of your boat will suddenly start glowing blue."
"It's pretty darn bright, easily seen with the naked eye, and appears out of nowhere."
"One minute you're sailing in complete darkness, the next you're in glowing water."- MyNameIsRay·
climate change animation GIFGiphyLife out on the open sea is unpredictable, and sometimes scary.
But those brave enough to venture into it, always return with a story to tell.
Redditor Moist-Patience-4989 asked:
"What is a toy you always wanted growing up, but never got?"
Power Wheels
"The Barbie Jeep that you could actually ride in. But once I had kids, I bought them one (not the Barbie version, but still). And guess what? I was five pounds under the weight limit so I was able to ride in their battery-powered Jeep. I mean, it was a couple decades late, but I eventually got to do it."
- smugmisswoodhouse
"Lol I never got one of those as a kid either. It still haunts me till this day. I have no idea why but it still does. My mom bought me a car for my 16th birthday but I still bring up the freaking power wheel. I guess it really scarred me."
- Annonme123
Easy - Bake Oven
"Easy - Bake Oven"
- Antibara
"Me too. I wanted one so bad. When they came out with the real retro looking ones a while ago, I was sooo tempted. LOL"
- Real-Web8925
"I was a child of the 70s, and wanted the Holly Hobbie version. My parents were poor and/or didn't want me cooking in my bedroom, so they dodged by pointing out it was for ages 8 and up. By the time I was 8 I was cooking real food in an actual oven so the request was dropped. Still low-key want one though, entirely to indulge my inner child."
- pepperminticecream
"Easy bake oven. Parents didn’t think it was a toy for boys. I still became a baker anyways"
- Soggy-Juggernaut-569
Mini Bike
"A mini-bike like they advertised in the Sears Christmas catalog."
- XploringTheWorld
"Same. I wanted one so bad. All the guys on my street had one and to get into the woods they drove their bikes between my house and the neighbors. On our lawn! I was so pissed off they got to do it but my dad didn’t think it was safe for a girl (in 1968)."
- SnowinMiami
Tamagotchi
90S Nostalgia GIFGiphy"Always wanted a Tamagotchi"
- DuracellCosmonaut
"They were banned at my school. I think there was a bit of controversy with them at the time."
- Maso_TGN
"I have mine! Just put fresh batteries in it a couple weeks ago and I still can’t keep the dumb thing alive 😅"
- IJustWantWaffles_87
TMNT Pizza Shooter
"The ninja turtle pizza thrower van."
- Ph33r-Enigma
"My friend brought his TMNT Pizza Shooter over. We then spent the next 2 hours shooting my older sister. I asked for one and my parents (for very good reason) told me absolutely not."
- HoopOnPoop
"I just used it to shoot pizzas at my little brother. Thing was amazing
- MrJimBusiness18
American Girl Dolls
"An American Girl doll. Loved the books so much. I've been tempted to buy myself a Samantha now that she's out again, but I like the original outfit better."
- horseruth
"I read that catalogue cover to cover every time I got it (which is back when there were only three dolls and nothing ever changed). I was convinced when I grew up and had kids, my daughter would have all three dolls, each in its own room so that the historical eras didn't get mixed up. Spoiler alert: that did not happen. No kids, and my house doesn't have three extra bedrooms to devote to dolls."
- jleebeane
Castle Greyskull
he-man GIFGiphy"Castle Grayskull, from He-Man and the Masters of the Universe."
- Maso_TGN
"My brother had it and I played with my strawberry shortcake dolls in it."
- GlamSpam
"By The Power Of Grayskull, sacrilege!"
- Maso_TGN
"They actually made a new one recently, and it’s identical to the original 80’s one, just with modern details. You can get it here."
- IncreaseWestern6097
Rock Tumbler
"A rock tumbler"
- Picklesgal111
"I was looking for this one. We are two rocks in the tumbler together."
- Independent_Cut8651
"Not really a toy, but I’ve wanted a rock polishing kit for as long as I can remember and would ask for one every Christmas and birthday."
- awesquirrel
Pokédex
"a pokedex. I wanted one so bad, but NoOoOo, mom and dad thought pokemon was annoying"
- CptJaxxParrow
The Big Box of Crayons
"The Crayola 64-pack with the three metallic colors."
- wholewheatscythe
You may have missed out on these toys as a child, but the great thing about being an adult is that you can do what you want. If the toy you desperately wanted as a kid is still available, you are totally allowed to just go out and buy yourself one.