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Teachers Share The Funniest Excuses Students Have Given For Late Assignments

Often times you learn just how creative a kid is when they're being deceitful.

Homework and assignments are going to be late sometimes.

It's a part of the school cycle.

Instead of getting miffed, take solace in the off-the-wall, nonsensical excuses students come up with.

Back in my day, that first 10 minutes of class was practically a comedy hour.

I mean talk about Oscar worthy performances...

Sometimes you just have to laugh.


Redditor blobbytheblobfish2 wanted to talk about all the reasons behind students turning work in off schedule.

So they asked:

"Teachers of reddit, what's the funniest excuse for being late, not doing homework, etc... you've ever heard from a student?

My go to was always killing off family members.

My life was a massacre for awhile in high school.

Mr. G

Baby Boomers Ok GIF by OriginalsGiphy

“'Not gonna lie Mr. G, I got in an argument with ****** in the hall. He wants to fight me at lunch. I don’t wanna wuss out but I’d lose that, can you come stop him before he starts s**t?'”

“'Uhhhh…. Sure!?'”

"9th graders are wild."

NerdyRedneck45

In a What?!

"I was late once cuz someone threw my bike in a tree. There was no room in the rack so I just threaded the lock through the frame and both wheels. Someone must have tried to steal it and then got frustrated when it wouldn't ride and threw it up into a f**king tree. It took me a while to get it down and untangle the bike lock but luckily I had a photo of it in the tree to show my professor."

wildling-woman

Broken

"Not a teacher, but I remember in 7th grade a kid walked in a few minutes late and the teacher asked why. Kid said he was looking for a screwdriver because his belt broke. Teacher said he wasn't buying it and told the kid to sit down. Kid said fine, took 2 steps, then his pants fell to his ankles in front of everyone. It was freaking hilarious and perfectly timed comedically."

Dustyoldfart

Oink

"My mother was a high school teacher over a decade ago, and once had a student come in half way through the first class and say he was late because he was 'escaping from the pigs.' She didn’t really think much of it, and ignored him. However he was arrested before school ended. It’s one of her favorite stories to tell. 'Sometimes it’s scarier when they don’t lie to you.'"

JustAFieryLizard

What about your Safari?

Work Marketing GIF by lamarcamcGiphy

"I had the same kid, tell me twice, that his dog ate his chromebook. He said he used his chromebook as a plate to eat a steak and the dog ate it."

happylilstego

Know the details of your lies kids.

Burgers next time

Season 7 Nbc GIF by The OfficeGiphy

"My first year teaching, it was 4th grade, and one student informed me that she hadn’t done her reading the night before 'because we had pizza for dinner.' It’s been 20 years and I’m still confused."

onjohns

unsanitary...

"The kid’s homework sheet was ripped in half. He said his sheep ate it. I asked why he had his homework outside with the sheep, and he said he didn’t. The sheep was in his kitchen. I asked why and he said they usually let it in the house. He said this in a tone that was like, 'duh.'"

"So later, I asked another kid, who lived next door to this kid, if his neighbor really had sheep in his kitchen. He’s like, 'yeah. That’s why my mom doesn’t let me eat dinner over there anymore. She thinks it’s unsanitary.'"

TemperatureDizzy3257

Miss. Potnineo

"My friend and I used to walk to school together and one day we arrived a bit late and my friend was able to truthfully say 'Sorry we're late Miss. Potnineo got hit by a car.' We had been crossing the road at a pedestrian crossing with traffic lights and the light changed right after I stepped off the curb, and I guess the driver was so focused on the green light that he didn't even notice I was still passing in front of his car."

"He started to pull forward, hit me (very slowly obvs), I wasn't hurt but was very startled so I screamed and slammed my hands on his car bonnet to steady myself and not fall under the car. The driver proceeded to yell at me for hitting his car and then drive off. We were already running late anyway and the car incident was over within a few seconds, but it made a great excuse."

potnineo

Mooooove Along

"Cows got out last night and I had to chase them home all night. I knew the kid and the family so it wasn't a lie. Good kid who was obviously tired. I told him not to worry about missed homework."

Robby777777

"I used to be the manager of a fast food place in a rural town. There was once a cow in the drive through. It did not respond to me yelling at it. I didn’t get paid enough for that sh*t."

usernamesareatupid28

You're Excused

Two Thumbs Up GIF by TV LandGiphy

"'Please excuse Janet from class today. She is in the hospital having her baby' (brought to me by a sibling)."

"Also..."

"'Please excuse Robbie for yesterday. He was home with the Shitt*ns.'"

pennyxroyalty

Poor Fish

"Once one of my classmates was late because their pufferfish had escaped."

Jakzter

"Escaped where? It’s a fish!"

morbidpigeon

Cat Problems

"Our cat set my son's 3rd-grade homework on fire by knocking over a lamp. I had worked on it with him earlier, it was finished, he was in bed, and the cat wanted to join him. Knocked over the lamp where the bulb was laying on the papers."

"The smoke alarms went off, my son ran screaming from the room, my wife grabbed the baby and ran outside with the son."

"The fire was JUST getting started, and I was like, may as well try... so I spit in my hands and patted out all the burning paper."

"I packaged up the burnt paper with a full note to the teachers."

Columbus43219

Overtired

"It isn't funny but it is the one I remember clearest. He said he was too tired."

"Kiddo was at school till 2, then would go to german lesseons from 3 to 4:30. Then had English with me from 5 to 6:30. Then he would have to go to French from 7 to 8:30. He was 8."

"He was too tired in my class to even sit up. I got to know a lot of bad parenting styles as a teacher."

Bakecrazy

Tree

"We had a student that got chased by a pack of wild dogs as he was getting out of his car and making his way to the building. He ended up hiding in a tree for like 2 hours and missing multiple classes. The teachers did not believe him until the school administration looked at the security footage and saw that he did indeed get chased by a pack of wild dogs. I should also add that it was in a suburban area"

jonahvsthewhale

It even happens to teachers.

"It wasn’t a student, it was me, the teacher. I was marking a students exam and I had a brand new puppy. The ONE time I leave work on the sofa to get a biscuit, Persie (poochie) chewed the whole thing. That was embarrassing to explain the next day. A few years later my then one year old drew all over an entire class worth of books. My husband was watching her btw 🤦♀️. Again, it was mortifying trying to explain that to a class of laughing children!"

Puzzledandhungry

Kids are funny. Until they're crazy.

Do you have any hilarious excuses that you or your classmates have used? Let us know in the comments below.

Women Explain Which Mistakes Dads Make Raising Daughters

Reddit user Bluemonday82 asked: 'Daughters of reddit: what's the biggest mistake dads make with their daughters?'

man with girl on his shoulders

Brittani Burns on Unsplash

"Daddy's Girl, Daddy's Girl, I'm the center of Daddy's world..." ~ "Daddy's Girl" by Red Sovine

A lot has been written about the bond between fathers and daughters.

But there's always room for improvement, right?

And who better to offer constructive criticism than daughters?

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woman making the shushing gesture

Bjorn Pierre on Unsplash

Full disclosure at all times with your significant other, right?

Yeah, good luck with that.

Let's get real—there are things we don't tell our partners for a lot of reasons.

Sometimes you just don't feel like having to explain something that doesn't really affect them.

Sometimes you're protecting them from something that will have a devastating effect on them.

These are probably going to be more that second one...

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We all have that moment where someone we know says something so completely absurd, the only response we think of is 'WTF is wrong with you?'

Sometimes, it's something woefully inaccurate that you can't wrap your head around the fact that someone believes that.

Othertimes, it's something completely offensive and you regret your association with that person.

My college roommate was a girl I knew from my high school. I didn't know her too well, but we had some big things in common, so I figured it'd be fun to live with her.

This girl was half-Korean and talked a lot about racist people. At first, I let her rant, figuring maybe she or someone in her family faced some racism. I faced some myself, and I agreed with most of the things she said about racists. Eventually, however, I realized she was equating the word 'racist' with the word 'white.'

I spoke to her once, telling her she can't use 'racist' and 'white' interchangeably. She agreed to stop doing that, but within a few days, she started doing it again. She was a very bright girl, so I was a little concerned about this, especially since her own dad was white and was possibly the nicest man in the world. Not to mention, this made her and her siblings half-white too. Did that mean they were all half-racist?

I stuck by her for a while, but when she started saying things about what she wanted to do to racist people (once again using the word 'white' instead of 'racist'), I realized I couldn't be around her anymore. She couldn't talk about anything else after a while, and every time she spoke, I wanted to say, 'WTF is wrong with you?'

We did not room together the next year.

Redditors have stories similar to mine (and some even crazier), and they are eager to share.

It all started when a Redditorasked:

"What did the person do/say that made you go "what the f**k is wrong with you?"

How To End A Friendship

"In college I used to kill time between classes hanging out with a guy who was from the same redneck county as myself. We didn’t really have much else in common, but he was nice enough and seemed eager to socialize so I figured why not. I wasn’t overly social myself and didn’t know a whole lot of people."

"One day we decided to go somewhere off-campus, and he drove us. While driving, on an interstate mind you, he proceeds to show me his handgun that he kept in his truck - not in a menacing way, but in a “Ain’t that cool?” way."

"I was not immediately frightened, but I respect firearms enough to recognize we are going like 60-70mph on an interstate in daylight, and nothing good can happen in this scenario. I calmly asked him to put it away because I was not comfortable in this situation at all. He then tells me “Oh it’s not loaded” and presses the gun to his head before pulling the trigger."

"Thank f**k he was right, but still it was a wild and frightening display of reckless disregard for his own life and mine for that matter in the event that he’d accidentally killed himself while driving us. I didn’t hang out with him much after that, certainly didn’t get in a car with him."

– omjf23

"“It’s not loaded” famous last words of many an idiot."

– GloInTheDarkUnicorn

The Worst Kind Of People

"When my dad was in the nursing home, they weren't running certain expenses, like ambulance rides, through his insurance. When I took over his financials, he was tens of thousands in medical debt that shouldn't have ever been charged to him in the first place. He was in numerous collections, and his credit score was tanked."

"When I complained to the nursing home director, he said, "Well, it's not like he's going to be buying a house or a car!" Then he laughed."

"My dad was paralyzed from the waist down and needed lifelong care, so he was never going to leave the nursing home. Even though he was technically correct, I gave him the "WTF is wrong with you look." Then I complained to HIS boss and he got canned a couple a weeks later. My dad's insurance was fixed pretty quick, too."

– MNWNM

"“Sorry, what was funny about that? Could you please explain.”"

– v3n0mat3

...Seriously?

"MIL told my wife she should divorce me bc I googled whether a lasagna should be covered with foil while cooking."

– Struggle-Silent

"This is my first laugh of the thread lmao wtf."

– koreantrvp

"It actually ruined this entire trip. It was at my BIL’s wedding, which was only close family (siblings + parents) and they had the caterer make a lasagna for an evening dinner."

"Father of the bride was gonna pop it in the oven and asked if it should be covered. I googled lasagna cooking instructions and said yes it should be covered and cooked at this temp. MIL said absolutely not!"

"Me and the father of the bride kinda gave each other a look and he covered it. MIL was furious and texted my wife that I was an a hole and she should divorce me before we had kids."

– Struggle-Silent

Hostile Work Environment

"Boss at old job told the team we needed to ‘get used to a healthy level of conflict, fear and anxiety in the workplace.’ I dipped so fast after that."

– Prestigious-Energy69

"Similarly, a boss told me that I owed him my loyalty because he was paying me."

– Kylearean

How To End A Relationship

"A girl I was with while we were still together just looked at me while I was driving to her house and said.” You know I would get over you faster than you’d get over me” I was like …… Tf did you just say?"

– omega91301

"Huh. And just like that I'm over you."

– Pineapple_Spenstar

"Honestly, that would absolutely do it for me. When I was younger, I would be stupid and hurt and argue. I'm past 50 and I got no time for that nonsense."

– Terpsichorean_Wombat

There Are Other Ways To Stave Off Boredom

"I was DD for some buddies who wanted to go to a particular dance club in Baltimore. They're all hammered, it's too loud and we've been there for several hours. Casually an older woman next to me chats me up and notices my eyes are nearly crossing from boredom. I explained what I was doing there and casually (stupidly) mentioned I'm a bit bored. This psycho BITES ME on the chest! Afterward says "Well ya ain't bored now, are ya??""

– Mike7676

"Well, were you bored after that?"

– DontWannaSayMyName

"I must say, I was not!"

– Mike7676

That Goes Both Ways!

"I'm a man who works with kids, and when I started this job, I was talking to one of my old coworkers about how every once in a while I'll get weird looks for being a man working with kids and my coworker said I deserved it because some men can't be trusted with kids. I was shocked and she went on to say that I did it to myself and deserve to be questioned about it. I immediately stopped talking to her."

– Dolhedew

"What? What in the actual f**k? Doesn’t she know there are women who can’t be trusted with kids?"

– Anonymoosehead123

That Escalated Quickly

"The lady that accused my kids of cutting the line. (They hadn't, I was watching). When I went to ask her what was wrong, she told me to go back to my own country with that sh*t. (I was born in Massachusetts.)"

"The line was to pet dogs at a Renaissance Fair."

– pasafa

Everything All At Once

"While alone with a coworker, he told me that "women in the work place will lead to the decay of the fabric of society" to me. A woman. He also asked me out, got an attitude when I didn't say yes and continues to walk around with huge incel energy. He always complains that he has no one to go home to yet refuses to look at himself as a possible reason."

– Nopeferatu31

"Sounds like they should learn something from the phrase, "if you meet one a**hole, they're the a**hole. If everyone you meet is an a**hole, you're the a**hole.""

– tmpope123

Ouch!

"I told a coworker my wife had died."

"Her response: "You're one of those bald middle aged guys with a dead wife.""

"Me: "Yeah.""

– WalrusCello

"I want to think this was a wholesome thought that came out wrong. An awkward attempt at dark humor."

– ThisUsernameIsTook

*Cringing*

"Had an otherwise normal co-worker who was completely convinced windmills will cause the earth to stop spinning."

– Shadowmant

"WINDMILLS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY! GOOD NIGHT!"

– Torvaun

These are all crazy 'WTF is wrong with you' stories, but that last one blew my mind in 'how is it possible people think that could be true' sort of way!

black and red tool box

Tekton on Unsplash

One of the possible wonders of adulthood is home ownership. But homes come with so many things that can break.

And the last thing you want is a nonfunctioning furnace when temperatures dip below zero or no water when you're covered in dirt and grime.

That's what routine maintenance is for—to make sure things work when you need them.

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