People Share The All-Time Funniest Examples Of Misheard Lyrics They've Ever Heard
It might be super easy to find the lyrics to a song now that we've all got the entirety of the internet in our pockets, but it didn't used to be so simple. Unless you owned the album, and it was one that actually came with the lyrics on the sleeve/in the case, you just kind of had to guess if the words were unclear.
This led to some extremely amusing, and sometimes mortifyingly embarrassing, misheard lyrics.
Redditor 23andrewb asked:
"What's the your favorite example of misheard lyrics?"
"Jimi Hendix Purple Haze: ''scuse me while I kiss this guy'"
"Roommate back in the day, who would have been about 18 in 1970, told me that Hendrix was aware of the alternate interpretation, and he would gesture at Noel Redding and say ''scuse me while I kiss this guy.'"
Bad Moon Rising
"CCR - bad mood rising 'There's a bathroom on the right.'"
"That's what I thought as a kid. Still say it now because it's funny."
What A Wonderful World
"I see skies of blue And clouds of white The bright blessed day The dogs say goodnight"
"I woke up my dog laughing at this one."
"Did the dog say good night?"
Why Is Everyone Singing About Lorain?
"I want to know, have you ever seen Lorain."
"I can see Clearly now, Lorain is gone!"
"And I wonder, still I wonder. Who'll stop Lorain."
"I can't stand Lorain, on my window..."
"As a child I used to sing 'I can see clearly now Lorraine has gone' and always wondered what poor Lorraine did that was so bad."
Gimme The Beach Boys
"Give me The Beach Boys and free my soul, I wanna get lost in your Rock and Roll…"
"Wait that’s not the actual lyric?"
"Hahah. Nope! Beat Boys"
Moves Like Jagger
"'remove my jacket' Instead of 'moves like jagger' Boy I felt dumb."
"Moobs like Jagger."
"I’ve got the moose vagina! I got that moose vagina! I got that moOose vagina"
"I guess it rains down in Africa?"
"I’m still somewhat embarrassed to say that I thought it was 'god bless the maids down in Africa'. Thought it was some sort of weird political statement."
"I wept the drains down in aaafrica isn't right then?"
"I always heard it as 'I miss the rains down in Africa' and thought that sounded so lovely and melancholic. I was so disappointed by the real lyric lmao"
Hit Me With Your Best Shot
"Hit me with a wet sock, FIRE AWAY!!!!!"
"Sweet dreams are made of cheese, who am i to disagree"
"Can't argue that!"
Applause ... or Applesauce?
"When I was 14 my dad was driving me to my boyfriends house. On the way over “Applause” by Lady Gaga came on & my dad sang 'I live for the applesauce applesauce applesauce.' I busted out laughing and mocking him."
"Laughed so hard he turned the car around and took me home."
"Regulate - Nate Dogg + Warren G. "I can't believe, they're taking Lawrence Welk".
"I used to hear this song and wonder 'Why is a smooth Gangsta like Warren G listening to Lawrence Welk, and why are these thugs stealing his Lawrence Welk records specifically?'"
"Then someone corrected me. 'They're taking Warren's wealth.'"
Here I Go Again
"Song: "Here I Go Again" by Whitesnake. Lyric: 'Like a drifter I was born to wear cologne'"
"My favorite misheard lyric is 'Hold me closer, Tony Danza' instead of 'Hold me closer, tiny dancer' by Elton John."
"Count the head lice on the highway."
Reelin' In The Years
"Steely Dan, instead of 'Are you reelin' in the years?', got 'Are you really into yeast?'"
"I always heard 'reelin' in the East' but like your version better, lol"
You Oughta Know
"'It's not fair, to deny me Of the crosseyed bear that you gave to me You, you, you oughta know' -Alanis Morissette"
"How could you take her crosseyed bear Dave Coulier"
Have you ever embarrassingly misheard the lyrics to a song? How long did it take for you to realize, or for someone to correct you? Let us know in the comments.
People Whose Dream Job Didn't Live Up To Expectations Share Their Experiences
It seems kids are being encouraged and pressured to choose a career at an earlier age every year, and often the information they have to base their decisions off of isn't the most accurate or transparent.
Unfortunately, a lot of people pursue the dreams they had as a child, like to be an artist or astronaut, only to discover all the hard work they'd put in was for a job that fell desperately short of their expectations.
Redditor American-pickle asked:
"Did you ever obtain your 'dream job,' only to realize it wasn’t actually what you wanted? Why did it not live up to expectations?"
Working from the Air
"I always wanted to be a flight attendant. Then I actually was one. No thanks, ever again, but for a few years it was fun, and then it just became a series of indistinguishable hotel rooms, and it wasn't worth putting up with the passengers anymore."
Too Far From Home
"I always wanted to be a part of the music industry but didn't want to be a performer. I went to college for audio engineering and was a live sound engineer/stage tech/guitar tech for about seven years."
"I did love the job and I'm glad I did it, but it was pretty clear after I started touring that it wasn't feasible for me as a lifestyle."
"In order to do the job consistently, you have to basically be homeless and miss everything that happens at home. It wasn't like I was miserable and being held hostage, but after missing enough birthdays and holidays with family and instead spending them with other random stage techs that you aren't super close to, it gets hard to rationalize."
"The days are long, but the pay doesn't reflect that. If it was a show day, I'd usually work for 16 hours straight. I was working with pretty big-name acts, but my day rate was still about $175 a day, and if I asked for a raise, they'd call someone else."
"Everything I did was also as an independent contractor, so my taxes were f**ked to begin with. That was actually what forced me out of doing it full-time, the change to the tax code in 2017 pretty much ruined my career. I went from paying $600 per year to paying $4,000 in one year."
"When I quit, I still kept doing it on the side for a few years with some of the local audio companies I worked with coming up, but it paid way less than touring, which already didn't pay a lot. After about two years and the beginning of the pandemic, I walked away entirely to focus on my career as an electrician, which is a much better fit."
"I miss the experiences, but I don't miss the lifestyle. Again, I'm glad I did it, but I'm glad I don't do it."
A Little Too Quiet
"I worked a lot of physically demanding jobs during my twenties and had these recurring fantasies about working in a store, sitting all day waiting for people to buy something, and having all that free time."
"Well, a couple of months ago, I found that job. Great pay, some benefits, great bosses."
"But every day it's slower than the last, and weirdly enough, I come back home tired from doing almost nothing all day long, the f**k is with that?"
"Now sometimes I fantasize about going back to my old job, where I would end up covered up in sweat and dirt but at least there was a feeling of accomplishment."
"So dumb, I hate it."
"Edit to Add: Yes, I tried to use that free time on something educational. First, it was programming, and then knots, not sure why, and then I got bored and started Portuguese to 'learn how to learn,' so I could move to more serious subjects and stop abandoning interests."
"I'm planning to study English formally instead of picking it up through memes, but I never get that right motivation or discipline or mental state to actually do it, to do anything at all."
"I just... play mobile Mobas for hours."
Camping for Work
"My first job out of college was as a forestry field tech. Turns out camping is way less fun when you worked 10 hours, don't have cell service, are on a random flat spot you found, and there's no one to talk to."
"Now make that eight days in a row, your only water is in jugs in the work truck, and you're covered in grime and wearing the same clothes for the entire time."
"Now I get to stay in a cabin during the field season. Having running water, a bed, and four friendly people on the crew is a godsend. I am so much happier just having company and running water, 'adventure' be d**ned."
That Living at the Zoo Dream
"All throughout childhood and college, I wanted to be a zookeeper."
"When I was finally offered the internship though, it took me less than a week to realize I couldn't stomach it."
"It's a lot less 'playing with and training cute animals' and a lot more 'cleaning up the vilest messes and being bombarded with the absolute worst smells on planet earth' than I imagined."
"A pony kicked me and gave me a concussion and I got fired for it, lol (laughing out loud)."
"It makes me laugh now. But I was a Junior Zookeeper and they just would tell me to do random things with no training or supervision."
"I had never even seen a horse in real life. I was cleaning its stall and from behind pushed it softly and told it to move outside."
"So in response, it broke two of my ribs and launched me into the gate and I got a concussion, and then it came over and bit me while I was puking."
"I never really enjoyed driving but always wanted to learn to fly. So I dropped 10k on a pilot's license and found out flying was just driving with up and down added."
"Weird was how quickly a childhood dream turned to 'meh.'"
It's Not All About Helping Animals
"I dreamt about working in Veterinary Medicine my whole life. When I finally did, I ended up traumatized."
" It wasn't the blood, the abuse, or even the euthanasia. It was how we just didn't talk about it."
"Bad day? Don't talk about it. Got hurt? Don't talk about it. Rude pet parent? Don't talk about it. Burnt out? Don't talk about it."
"I felt so alone in situations where having support was essential."
Playing with Trains
"When I was younger, I desperately wanted to work on the railway as the money was great, and I really loved railways and everything in that world. I eventually managed to get a job as a welder with a local firm."
"It was f**king w**k. Permanent nights, working every weekend in all weather, with equipment that weighed an absolute tonne that had to be loaded up dark embankments. I was working with thermite and explosive gases, usually after pushing all the gear about three or four miles down the track."
"One Christmas, I worked a shift on a site where a guy was killed the previous weekend after getting his arm chopped off by an excavator. They had a collection box in the site cabin with a picture of him and his young kid on it. F**king heartbreaking. And to top it off, everyone I worked with was a complete and utter [c-word]."
"F**king s**t job."
Working in the Science Lab
"Working as a chemist in an academic research lab."
"Academia is full of narcissistic nutjobs that pretend like their research is the holy grail of their field when it's actually practically inconsequential. The stakes are so low that the results don't matter and everyone is just scavenging for what little funding they can pull together for something nobody really wants or needs."
"The amount of pettiness, sabotage, and frankly fraud is rather pathetic. But they face little to no repercussions because, again, nobody cares."
"Which is why I now do research in a corporate lab."
The Renowned Music Teacher
"I am a teacher and when I first graduated college, I couldn't decide what age range I wanted to teach. My first job was ages four to twelve in orchestra."
"At first, this was amazing, because I could guide the same students from beginners to graduating, but I quickly learned that the 4-12 position was supposed to be a three-person job and not a one-person job."
"I, unfortunately, had to quit because I was so overwhelmed and my school wouldn't hire anybody else. I lasted six years and I don't regret it, but I also don't miss it..."
The Glamourous Life
"To answer the original question, sort of. I got close to it. Close enough to see what that life would actually be like. And it sucked."
"It turns out, I don’t like working with celebrities. They’re kind of annoying clients. It’s not fun and glamorous. It’s unnecessarily stressful."
"And I don’t want to be a famous stylist or famous anything. It makes people weird. Mark Ruffalo is only normal because he hasn’t figured out he’s famous yet."
"I still enjoy doing hair. And I still like people, for the most part. So I went with a more low-key path. I’m very happy with my choices. Sometimes on the way to your dream job, you have to make adjustments."
Hopefully an Isolated Incident
"I got my dream job as a designer of skiing magazines, but then my workload doubled with no raise, the raises I was promised never came, all of the people I liked working with left, and things just got gradually worse."
"I left three months ago, and they still haven't been able to fill the position because they're offering a wage that was low nine years ago for half of the work."
Teaching Isn't What You See in the Movies
"Teaching at a college."
"I love my field and I love research. It's easy to ramble for hours on end about a topic. The passion and curiosity I held for my discipline, I thought, would make me a good instructor. What I did not expect was how much hatred, contempt, jealousy, and sabotage would come from the administration."
"'Oh, you're enjoying teaching an entry-level class with 30 students? We'll raise the cap so it has 75 enrolled. Have fun grading until you cry each week!'"
"'Oh, you want to be an expert educator in one area? Then you get to be the (unpaid) consultant on *all* department exams on that topic. Enjoy re-writing 7 midterms for your colleagues with one week's notice!'"
"'Oh, you haven't had a raise in six years? The football coach *needs* to be the highest-paid person in the state. If you ask for a cost of living increase again, we'll set the students against you by claiming inflation-adjusted raises for instructors would result in doubling tuition costs for students!'"
"And so many of the students see the courses as box checking and are burnt out from previous bad educational experiences. I don't blame them, but no matter how hard I tried to be kind and share my excitement for the subject it felt like throwing a dandelion into the grand canyon of despair."
The Truth Behind Graphic Design
"I always wanted to be a graphic artist. I wanted to pass by billboards that I designed, print ads I made, a portfolio with all my paid work, and case studies. I even centered my major around it."
"When I got to the professional world of it, I found out it wasn’t as fun as it was when it was just a hobby, not even close to how I thought it was going to be. The sleepless nights, the deadlines, moving goalposts brought by irrational revisions and indecisive stakeholders; it’s draining."
"I shifted careers and started a job as a backend software developer. I find it more enjoyable. If the code quality passes and it works as expected, then I’m off the hook. No 'Can you try a different font? I just wanna see it,' or 'What happens if you switch this and that? How is it gonna look?' types of stuff."
"Fast forward, and I’m in an architect and designer role now. Best decision I’ve made for my long-term well-being. I still do graphic design, but it’s for my passion projects now."
"I worked for a small non-profit doing work that I was super passionate about. I thought it was going to be a dream job. In reality, I was super overworked and underpaid. And being such a small organization there was lots of interpersonal drama that I was just not into."
"I now work a more 'corporate' job, but it’s still work I’m passionate about and makes a difference. I’m getting paid over double what I made previously, my workload is manageable, and I am way less stressed. I also really like my coworkers and boss, AND I work from home full-time."
"The job I was unsure about wound up being the dream job."
Like anything else, careers are often portrayed in our social circles as something that's wildly different from actually living the life of that profession. How teachers, doctors, and zookeepers describe their days at the front of a classroom full of starry-eyed children is hardly the same as when those children later walk into those jobs as an intern or new-hire.
Fortunately for some of these Redditors, they were able to find adjacent work that better suited their needs, without leaving behind the full dream they'd been chasing.
The world has become wrought with individuals who seek to bamboozle you into forking over your hard-earned money.
There have been so many cons throughout history that have evolved as people have gotten wise to them, but the scam artists were always one step ahead and improved upon their malicious schemes to continue being on the prowl for more gullible victims.
Curious to hear examples of some of the most notorious cons, Redditor GransShortbread asked:
"What are some of the biggest scams to have happened in history?"
European Con Artist
"Fake selling of Eiffel tower. Twice."
"Victor Lustig, exactly who i thought of too."
"He had another scheme where he sold people with too much money and not enough sense a box that “duplicated currency”, and then when they realized they had been scammed they would either be too embarrassed to do anything or scared of being busted for attempting to counterfeit."
Moving To A Fictional Country
"Gregor MacGregor tricked a whole bunch of people into moving to a fake country in Central America."
American Fraudster Financier
"Bernie Madoff’s Ponzi scheme."
"Charles Ponzi’s scheme."
"Damn, he was named after the term for scamming somebody, bad luck."
Beware of the companies you trust.
Misuses Of Funds
"US Telecom companies getting like 200 billion to expand infrastructure, which they didn't do - then using that money to f'k us over with the FCC's 'fast lanes.'"
Where The Funds Were Allocated
"Most of the money went to rural ISPs who just used the money to buy off all other rural ISPs and nearly bankrupt themselves with operating costs. CenturyLink and Frontier were the worst actors. Bought up a bunch of small local ISPs and cities that Verizon and ATT wanted to give up on supporting."
"Didn't make any improvements to infrastructure. Really should have had more regulation around it because that money was essentially stolen."
Live Event Exploitation
"My hate for Ticketmaster is beyond anything in the world."
"22k for Taylor swift. HAHAHAHA"
A certain religious organization got a bad rap.
Faith In Hollywood
"The Church of Scientology."
Sometimes, it's the little things.
"The price of printer ink."
"This is really a thing the EU ought to regulate better. They have introduced USB-C for standardization, now please force printer companies to make new models that all adhere to one standard ink cartridge that must be able to accept any 3rd party made ones."
This Cuts Deep
"Replacement razor cartridges have entered the chat."
Too Much 4 Tulips
"Tulips in the Netherlands in the 16th century. There was a point at which one tulip bud cost as much as a good house."
It's always good to be aware as a consumer that if something sounds too good to be true, it probably is.
Also, listen to your gut instincts when in a suspicious scenario.
My first time in New York during snowfall, a man "bumped" into me and "dropped" his glasses on the freshly accumulated snow and accused me of breaking them because I wasn't watching where I was going.
He insisted I repay him by going to the ATM and handing him $200. Being skeptical right away, I told him I didn't have my debit card on me and I offered to take his address so I can send him a check.
Considering he wasn't getting cash in that moment, he huffed and walked away. I guess he didn't really need the money.
Unfortunately, incidents like this has made me a cynic and it's made it very difficult for me to trust everyone I meet.
But is it better to always be on your guard or allow yourself to be vulnerable from time to time to avoid being judgmental?
Ultimately, that's up to you.
People Whose NDAs Were Nullified Spill The Tea About Their Former Employers
Non-disclosure agreements, or NDAs, are becoming a far too common practice amongst businesses and corporations.
While generally signed and distributed to ensure classified information isn't leaked, far too many companies and businesses use them to cover up shady business practices, as well as hostile work environments.
As a result, when employees sign them, they are unable to come forward about the unhealthy, unethical, or even unsafe working conditions they may have had to endure.
As doing so could possibly result in their being faced with legal issues themselves.
Thankfully, certain types of NDAs are now illegal allowing many people to come forward and share the hostile and dangerous conditions they had to endure at their former places of work.
"Blanket NDAs are now illegal. What can you finally tell us about your former employer?"
Insider Trading And Dirty Money
"They bought back a sh*tload of shares from employees under the pretense of 'we know the extra cash is better now than later!' and then went public shortly thereafter."
"The bonus is that the CEO then admitted he was using 'some' of that money to finance his divorce."- crackpotpourri
"They misused pandemic assistance funds."- Quercus408
"I worked for a school district that changed grades to boost graduation rates."- RoscoeFreidland·Giphy
Too Little Too Late...
"They tried to get me to sign one when I retired but I just laughed at them and walked out."
"When you retire you are not under any circumstances required to sign an NDA!!!"- Tede6977
How Long Have You Got?
"I worked for the political consultant best known in DC circles for having gotten a dead fish in the mail from Rahm Emanuel."
"The consultant was a super weird boss."
"Full of shady business practices, including expensing all of his personal sh*t like family vacations to the business."
"But this is the story that tends to blow minds:"
"My former employer had me print out his emails so he could handwrite his responses, which I would type up and send back."
"No, I wasn't his assistant lol."
"He was too cheap to hire one."
"So he'd pull people off time sensitive client projects to do this crap, which turned everything into chaos."
"One of the many reasons turnover was high and the business failed."- rotatingruhnamaBuster Keaton Secretary GIF by MauditGiphy
Deception At It's Worst
"Our sales department deliberately used deceptively vague language when selling extremely expensive travel packages to disabled passengers."
"They routinely left caregivers stranded with no accommodation other than 'the floor' or sleeping in the same bed as their patients."
"They also routinely failed to provide accessible bathrooms for disabled passengers."
"They also lost/damaged wheelchairs and mobility aids."
"There was little to no sympathy for these passengers and their caregivers when they rightly complained."
"When I tried to raise the issue with higher ups I was labelled a trouble maker."
"I left the company back in 2019 but I know nothing has changed in regards to sales."
"The price for the cheapest trip offered was over 2k CND person for a two day trip."
"The average booking was 8k for a 5 day holiday."
"They charge much more now."
"Can you imagine paying 8 thousand dollars and not being able to shower, or your mobility aid being lost."
"Then when you complain you are told you were never promised anything only 'we will do our best' or 'that shouldn’t be a problem!'"
"F*cking disgraceful."- moodychurchill
But Did They Get It In Writing?
"A publication I worked for completely embezzled from the parent company."
"The editor in chief hired their best friend as creative director."
"Creative director contracts their husband as a 'men’s fashion editor' when the publication had no men’s fashion section and was not a fashion-related pub."
"He was paid thousands monthly on retainer and almost never came into the office, and if he did, he never did any work."
"On top of that he was paid usage fees for travel images he took and were printed."
"That family took a one week trip for a story, brought their child, and submitted a $40,000.00 expense report after for it."
"Oh, then there were the future invoices for her husband’s usage fees for his photos, while they were being paid to be there because it was for a story."
"Other editors in chief from other publications were given a $25,000.00 clothing budget every year and a daily black car driver to take them to the office."
"When I worked for another title in the building that EIC submitted a very high expense report which included his groceries."
"The company would even provide interest free down payments to EICs for homes but they stopped doing that."
"Meanwhile they ran multiple rounds of layoffs a year, consolidated staffs so they worked across multiple titles, and paid peanuts to regular employees."
"I was laid off from that company twice within 2 years and they didn’t vest my 401K match because both times I missed the cutoff by months."- The_RoyalPeeEditor In Chief Media GIFGiphy
Conflict Of Interest
"One of my old bosses reprimanded an employee after the employee called HR to file a complaint about him."
"This is because the HR employee happened to be a friend of the boss in question, and the HR employee blabbed about it to the boss."
"The boss did not get fired but he did get reassigned not long after."
"Not sure what happened to the HR employee."- NotConsistentCalc
Lack Of Common Sense
"I worked for a company that f*cked up itself by biting off more than it could chew, and then a competitor went under, which flooded the market and f*cked over the company I worked for even more."
"Most of the company has been laid off by now."
"CEO went before anyone else."
"The new CEO?"
"The same f*cking sh*tty CEO that sunk their competitor."
"Who the f*ck would see a competitor fail, have it nearly take themselves down too, and then hire the same f*cking idiot a few weeks later."- prettyqueerdad
Not What They Appear To Be
"The weather forecasting company I worked at a while back didn’t actually forecast."
"They just copy/pasted products from the National Weather Service and slapped their logo on it."- freesedevonGIF by Owain Wyn EvansGiphy
It's shameful to think that some companies are able to silence their employees from exposing their corrupt practices.
Unluckily for them, the truth always has a way of coming out.
Very few people enjoy being scared.
Those very few that do enjoy being scared often seek it out, by watching scary movies, going to a haunted house, or enjoying a thrill ride.
But even those brave souls who seek out being scared do not enjoy the feeling when it comes upon them by surprise, in real life.
Finding themselves or loved ones in life-threatening situations, and leaving them with a memory they would give practically anything not to have.
"What's the scariest experience you've ever been through?"
Narrowly Avoided Drowning
"At about 10 years old, I fell through ice on a pond."
"When I came back up, I smacked into ice...instead of the hole I fell through."
"The water was too murky to see any light from the hole, and I thought that I was witnessing the end of my short life."
"I was lucky to find the opening again, but as I tried to get back up, the ice kept breaking and I'd go under again."
"The whole event probably lasted 30 seconds...but to me, it was a lifetime."
"It's been 35 years, and I'm still nervous on a frozen body of water...even if cars and trucks are driving on it."- jekern
"I was jumping off some high rocks into a river."
"It’s was a place in the town I grew up in that everyone knew."
"One day I somehow got turned around in the water after hitting and swam down, when I realized and turned around I was too deep to make it up."
"About 8 feet down I inhaled water."
"It burned and was cold at the same time."
"I could feel the pain in my ears as I tried to exhale the water."
"I don’t remember surfacing, my friends pulling me to shore or coughing up all the water."- WhatWouldTNGPicardDo
"I survived a chainsaw accident to the throat, 16th March 2022."
"Trachia, thyroid and epiglotis (hope I spelled those right) were each in two parts."
"The operating doc came by two days afterwards, with huge eyes, and told me about the puzzle pieces he had to put back together."
"I’m basically fully recovered except for my voice that sounds a bit hoarse because of nerve damage."
"It is slowly recovering and I am going for speech therapy."
"At the beginning though I did sound a bit like Lemmy Kilmister and thought about reviving Motörhead."- TokoloshNr1
Family In Danger
"Getting a phone call at work to tell me that my wife’s routine surgery had gone wrong due to an anaesthetists mistake and she was now in a coma in the ICU."
"I dropped everything and ran."
"What greeted me when I walked in was the stuff of nightmares."
"Tubes everywhere, machines beeping."
"My wife was in ICU for 23 days before they took her off life support and she died in my arms."
"Life has never been the same since."- M1r9f7i9sh
"Watching my 3yr old son whither away due to Leukemia to the point he was so weak he couldn't walk, sit up, talk, and we would have to hold his head in place so that he could watch 'Paw Patrol'."
"He's now almost 4 and back to walking again, and seems to be winning this long hard battle."- -Alter-Reality-
Held At Gunpoint
"One night I was working in a rural old wooden gas station."
"A masked man kicked the door open and robbed me with a shotgun."
"He was more scared than I was, which made me more scared than he was."
"I got him out of there with the money and all the cigarettes."
"The next day the newspaper published my name and address."- eightfingeredtypist
"I didn't even know a tick had bitten me and went from headache to shivers and extreme fever until I wasn't able to walk without my wife supporting me."
"Even reading made my head spin like crazy and I didn't know what the reason was."- DifferenceDependent6
"I was 13 years old and my dad had just picked me up from high school but had my grandma in the car too so I sat in the back seat."
"We were driving back home and my grandma wanted to quickly run into a shop so we parked up outside the shop."
"My Gran was having trouble getting up the steps out front of the shop so my dad jumped out to help her, at that exact moment I noticed my dads gold chain he lost a couple of weeks ago under the seat in front of me so ducked down and reached under to get it, as I'm trying to reach under the seat someone got in the car."
"I looked up and they kinda looked like my dad from behind so I said "Dad?"
"They turned around and I immediately saw it wasn't my dad, they clearly didn't realize anyone else was in the car and were a little startled but quickly replied 'sit back and shut up, I'll let you out in a minute'."
"The key was still in the ignition and they started the car and peeled off."
"I have never really felt fear like it, all the worst kinds of thoughts rushed through my head and I was convinced they had stolen the car because I was in it but they drove down a couple of streets and pulled over and just said 'OK, get out'."
"I ran back to the shop and halfway ran straight into the arms of my dad who had been running after the car."
"I could literally feel the relief that he was feeling through that hug."- PeyJ
"I was in a hospital for months because of something else, couldn't get up and had already lost a ton of weight which made me severely underweight."
"Then caught some kind of virus (the doctors couldn't figure out what it was) and got weaker every day, I couldn't eat or drink and vomited all the time, at some point what I spat out was entirely black, probably dried blood."
"I can hardly remember that time of my life, but looking in the mirror and seeing my bloodshot eyes where all the veins popped and my chin and neck with burns from the acidity in stomach fluid and my skinny arms and ribs was horrifying."
"I think I was around 14 at the time and was sure I'd die."
"It went on for days and then just stopped."
"We thought it was that hospital virus that happens sometimes but apparently it wasn't, still don't know what happened and how I survived."- fluorishingStripe
Near-Fatal Car Accident
"Back in the early 2000s I lived in northern Minnesota."
"I was born and raised in Louisiana, so direct opposite side of the US where the only ice on the roads was when someone dumped out a cooler into the street."
"At the time I was dating a Canadian girl and went to spend Christmas with her and her family."
"Drove across the border, went to Ontario, had a good time."
"I came back across the border a few days after Christmas, sometime late afternoon."
"It was a 5-ish hour drive from her house to mine."
"Being the middle of winter, the sun went down very early so it was dark by the time I got to the first town in Minnesota."
"I drove down highway 61 which runs along Lake Superior, and is dotted with blink-and-miss towns."
"No one travels that highway that late unless they live there or are a trucker usually driving from Duluth to Thunder Bay."
"The roads were clear, no snow, no ice that I could see, so I cruised along at my usual 60 MPH."
"I hit a curve that had a patch of black ice and sailed off the road."
"One side of the road was an almost 90-degree drop straight into Lake Superior, the other was into a forest."
"I sailed into the forest, barrel rolled a few times, and landed on my wheels in a ravine."
"I credit my seatbelt for saving my life, so I'm now a hard a** about that when anyone gets into my car."
"So there were a few problems."
"First, cell phones weren't nearly as ubiquitous as they are now, and by extension cell towers weren't covering as much area."
"I had a cheap prepaid cell phone but no signal."
"Second, I was in a ravine so I was hard to see on a road that was hardly traveled anyway."
"Third, it was the middle of winter and I think in the single digits, somewhere between 0 and 10 F."
"I had a blanket I kept in my car in case sh*t hit the fan like that, but that won't do good for long since I had to stand on side of the road to be seen, and hope no one else skidded on the ice and squashed me."
"I for certain thought I was going to freeze to death."
"A local guy named John, who lived in the town of Schroeder, found me."
"He brought me to the hospital, I think up in Grand Marais, and even let me stay with him for a few days until someone could come get me."
"He had a long distance calling card (remember those?) that I used to call my roommates and girlfriend to let them know I was alive."
"I spent the first day sleeping from the painkillers."
"Nothing broken but everything hurt."
"The second day one of my closest friends said she would come up from Duluth the following day to get me."
"I slept a lot that day too and I found out John had this massive collection of musical instruments and played blues."
"That's what we bonded over, that and him literally saving my life."
"I found out recently he passed away a few years ago, though I'm not sure where his grave is but I've been trying to find out just so I can pay my respects."- SuperflyX13
"My son's brain surgery."
"He has epilepsy and had a small portion removed in 2020 to alleviate his seizures and give him a better quality of life."
"He spent a week with wires in his brain tracking his seizures as he had them in real time."
"They slowly stopped his anti-seizure meds to induce them, he had 26 in one night as he slept."
"Once it was enough data they removed a portion of his brain near his speech and memory center."
"This was the location of his misfires."
"The general consensus was that he had a good chance of losing his speech and memory."
"His personality could disappear."
"After his surgery as he was being taken back to his room he raised his arm to touch his face, the physician told him not to and my son said 'I'm not, I just want to touch it'."
"He spoke before he was fully out of anesthesia."
"Three days later he was home, three days after that he was being transported back for emergency surgery because of a nasty infection UNDER his skull."
"The surgeon later said he was maybe 12 hours from dying if he hadn't been seen."
"He had no symptoms other than a gross drip."
"No pain, no fever, nothing."
"Another brain surgery and six weeks with a drain tube and monitor on him at home with nurse visits weekly."
"He is now seizure-free and on a much lower dose of meds than he was previously."
"1500 daily down to 100mg."
"I spent a month in the children's center helplessly watching my son slip in and out of consciousness and have hundreds of seizures."
"The possibility of him waking up with no memories and no way to speak was horrifying to me as his father."
"So the scariest moment in my life was almost losing my 16 year old child 3 times in one month."- MardawgNC
Perhaps one reason people enjoy being scared at scary movies is they know that what they're watching isn't real, and the fear and adrenaline will eventually wear off.
Reality is far more terrifying than fiction.