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Funeral Home Employees Divulge The Weirdest Requests They've Ever Gotten

Funeral Home Employees Divulge The Weirdest Requests They've Ever Gotten
Image by RitaE from Pixabay

Death is scary. It brings the unknown of the great beyond, whether that's heaven, some other afterlife, or total nothingness, depending on what you believe.

But there is one perk that comes with death: total control of your funeral.


Think about it. You have a captive audience for the whole day. They're all going to be so intentional about respecting your memory that it would really take something huge to upset them.

That, my friends, is a time to push the envelope and take some liberties with that ceremony.

Many Redditors who work in the funeral industry have firsthand experience witnessing recently deceased people exercising that power through wills, parting words, and even pre-death meetings.

Some people have gotten quite creative.

hurtfocker asked, "Funeral home workers and owners: what's the weirdest request you've gotten regarding a deceased person?"

A good amount of people treat their funerals college parties.

They go with a theme they imagine everyone will enjoy, try to inject some sarcastic humor into the planning, and see how it all plays out

Let the Games Begin 

"I got a request for the deceased to be dressed up in a Where's Waldo costume and to have 12 other identical caskets in the room so the guests could try to guess where he was by opening coffins randomly."

"Each guest was to play this guessing game and then sit down before the next person could enter so everyone could play the game."

"Problem was not everyone wanted to play the game.....super odd but they paid a lot for it."

-- ramontgomery

Dead In a Faraway Galaxy 

"The deceased was a huge Star Wars fan and left explicit instructions for his funeral."

"As funeral organist, I was requested to play Star Wars principal themes on the grand pipe organ for prelude music, processional and recessional."

"As I once described, pall bearers were dressed in main characters costumes and "Obi-Wan Kenobi" gave an inspired eulogy, drawing upon memorable moments from the series."

"Using 'full organ' (all the stops out) for climatic moments, I played the Imperial March at the conclusion of the funeral before those in attendance departed for the cemetery for the committal."

-- Back2Bach

A True Celebration of the Life He Lived 

"I'm a florist, and I've created some unique tributes out of fresh flowers, and more."

"I made a putting green two feet across, complete with ball, tee and a club for an avid golfer. I constructed a fish out of various blooms and leaves, placed by a lakeside foliage spray. I've made rainbows and black and white themed arrangements. I put a lot of heart into memorial pieces."

"A few years ago, I was helping a family decide on their tributes for a much-loved man. The wife stressed he was known for his big blue Giant Eagle truck, and most of their friends were from the driver's union."

"I volunteered myself for a watercolor picture of the truck around which I would design a floral spray. It took four attempts, but I was finally happy, and framed it."

"Two days later, I received the most wonderful letter from his wife, and said that everyone agreed it was the most appropriate and important statement about his life. It will sit on her mantle for the rest of her life."

-- cavepainted

Friends Til the Very End 

"My family owns a grave digging business as well as lawn and garden statues, someone purchased an 8ft tall gorilla statue."

"My dad delivered it and asked what they were going to do with it and where they were putting it, the guys said their friends dying wish was to be stuffed up this concrete gorillas a**, and that's what they did."

"They drilled a whole in the a** and put their buddies ashes inside"

-- hayhay428

There also appears to be a strange obsession with eye sockets and eyeballs. Many funeral workers have fielded requests involving what exactly to do with eyes.

All of them are completely unnerving, of course.

Always Watching 

"My husband found out they can make gems out of cremains, and now he wants to be reduced to 2 jewels seated in his own eye sockets."

"I don't want a skull! I don't want to own his skull! I don't want him to watch me with his evil gem eyes!"

-- ParadiseSold

For Science 

"My own will requests that my right eye be removed, preserved and delivered to my oncologist in Miami for him to do with whatever he sees fit."

"Hopefully as a teaching aid to new optometry students, but if he wants to use it for pranks I'm totally fine with that too."

"I survived a very unusual eye cancer and they had to do all kinds of experimental things to repair it when all was done. I jokingly suggested I donate it to science when I went and he said that was an amazing idea. So, here you go."

"I hope whoever deals with my corpse has fun with that request."

-- zerbey

One Last Look 

"My wife's uncle asked the funeral director when he dies he would like his eyes open in the casket during his viewing."

"His entire life everyone commented on his big baby blue eyes and he wanted them open for people to see one last time."

-- Agreeable-Scratch424

And finally, sometimes it's not all wine and roses when the close of life comes along.

People live complicated lives full of strained dynamics with family and friends. And often, that comes to a head right at the final moment.

One Last F-You

"One rich guy hated his kids and didn't want them to get a cent of his wealth. He therefore wanted all his money to spent on a mausoleum for his coffin with a rose garden around it and the eternal upkeep thereof."

"He had the city council-approved architectural plans for the mausoleum included in his will and testament."

"He demanded in his will that the remaining funds, after construction, must go to a gardening service to maintain the rose garden and clean off the bird poop from his mausoleum in perpetuity until the money runs out in a few centuries."

"The mausoleum is in Cemetery de Saint Rambert outside Lyon, France."

-- JingoisticJeremiah

Utter Indifference 

"My coworker was meeting a client who was picking up his mother's cremains. My coworker has the client sign a release, then hands him the urn."

The man immediately turns around and drops the urn into the trash can."

"My coworker is a 40 year funeral director veteran, and without missing a beat, he says, 'Sir, I can understand your strong feelings about your mother, but I cannot allow you to leave that here. What you do once you get out the door is up to you and God.' "

"Dude picked up the urn and left without a word."

-- keliez

To Reflect What She Was Like, Or Never Did?

"My mom asked the embalmer to put a few stitches in my grandma's cheeks to give her a faint smile.

"At the time it seemed like an odd, even slightly morbid request, but 20+ years on, it's one of the only things I remember from her funeral. It was kind of lovely, actually."

-- Fearless_Lab

Photo Op

"Not a mortician, but an EMT."

"I had a family ask to take pictures of their deceased adult child immediately after we stopped resuscitation efforts. There's tubes sticking out of the individual, discoloration, lifeless skin, hastily cut clothes, medical equipment strewn about, all of this uncomfortably taking place in a narrow corner in a crudely built and overfilled add on to a run down house... it was not a peaceful scene."

"The lead medic allowed it, but I almost intervened... I just couldn't think of a soft way to say 'you don't want to remember your child like this' at the time."

"I really hope the family found peace and deleted those photos. I ran into them a few times after that (unrelated to EMS), and they seemed okay... but holy hell. I understand that seeing the body of a dead loved one often brings closure after a traumatic event like that... but don't immortalize that image as the last picture of that person."

"From experience, those images are haunting. I have the last image of a friend of mine that died in a freak explosion (I did the crime scene photos), and I often have to look at good photos of him to put the bad ones to rest."

"They're not images you want to see when you think of someone fondly."

- ckjm

Comics And Nutella

"I worked 2 years as a casket bearer when I was a student because it paid very well."

"One time the undertaker came to us, telling that he's sorry for the extra weight, but the guy who died really wanted some comics books and a 5 kg jar of Nutella with him."

"For Germany, that's some next level extravaganza."

- bremishpotato

Practice Makes Perfect

"My parents owned a small business next door to a funeral home so we knew the guys who worked there pretty well."

"When my grandma was diagnosed as terminal she wanted to plan her own funeral so one of them came round to our house to make the arrangements with her. He was a really young guy barely out of school, the son of the main funeral director, and was still an apprentice who had never done a funeral by himself."

"When he asked my grandma whether she wanted his dad or his uncle to do the funeral, she told him she wanted him to do it."

"He started to refuse saying he didn’t have the experience yet, he might not do it well, he wasn’t at that point in his training yet and he was just here doing the admin etc."

"She insisted on him doing it because 'you need the experience eventually, might as well do your first one for someone who doesn’t care if you mess it up.' He did it, and he was great."

"Myself and my siblings and cousins were all a similar age to the guy at the time and doing our first jobs/apprenticeships etc and she’d seen us struggling with wanting more experience in our fields but not always getting the opportunities to do so; so that’s why she insisted."

"He did my granddads funeral two years later too."

- InterestingCloud9

The Tattoo

"My fiance works in a funeral home so I'm stealing his story. They had someone call and ask if they could remove a decedent's tattoo so he could have it preserved which is apparently a real service that one place offers."

"The director who took the phone call went to the manager with it and they were hemming and hawing because none of them wanted to do it. I guess it's something that is probably fine for them to do legally but is also borderline abuse of a corpse if someone in law enforcement wanted to be a dick about it, and also they all found it kind of personally repulsive."

"Finally the manager goes, 'Wait, which guy? Isn't that the guy they pulled out of the river? The one who was in there a while?' "

" '...well, I guess that's one time skin slippage would be a good thing.' (Do not google skin slippage if you are squeamish.) "

"Anyway, because of all the water damage the body was 'not viewable' and the tattoo was definitely not in any condition to be removed and preserved so they were able to tell the requester no for that reason rather than, 'It's weird and we don't wanna do it.' "

- scarrlet

Balloon Giveaway

"Not a funeral home employee or owner, just the daughter of a person who didn't want their funeral to be a sad affair."

"My mom passed quickly from cancer in 2019 but she had her entire funeral planned out and paid for. Turns out she told the funeral home she wanted 100 balloons surrounding her coffin and for the balloons to be given out to those who came to mourn with us."

"She wanted to bring a happy moment in the midst of sadness."

- smartnclumsy

Legalities

"My friend is a funeral worker and was directing a funeral for this woman. Her daughter arranged the funeral, paid for everything, did everything funeral related and paid for a full service to get her mother buried."

"There was a small issue right before the funeral and one of the workers at the mortuary needed to contact the daughter but she didn't pick up at the time and so they contacted her father who was listed as a contact."

"What the mortuary workers were unaware of was that the deceased woman and this man had been separated for decades but no one in the family, including the deceased woman, knew that they were still legally married. That legally makes him the next of kin that is responsible for arranging the funeral."

"He was upset that no one had told him and he ordered the mortuary not to bury her body or have the open casket (which was already paid for and her body already prepared). Everyone was already at the funeral (including the woman's own parents) when all of a sudden this man who hadn't been in any of their lives for decades cancelled everything."

"He demanded that her body be cremated. His own daughter was begging and crying for him not to do this, but legally, he had all the power to do this."

"The mortuary did everything they could but in the end, he had the legal power to do everything he did. The woman ended up getting cremated and the man gained possession of her ashes and went back into obscurity."

"My friend said that the mortuary worker who called the father felt so SO guilty, but she did what she was trained to do and somehow the daughter didn't hold it against the mortuary for goofing up like this."

"My friend says the biggest takeaway from this is to always name your power of attorney long before you even expect to die, especially after a big life event or when separating from your spouse or a household you no longer want to be part of."

"Last I heard, the man lost legal powers over the deceased woman after that. But what happened already happened and there was nothing else that could be done after that."

"The daughter and woman's family ended up just having to eat the cost of the funeral service that never happened. Truly traumatic."

- Kuneria

Memories On Loop

"Not really a strange request but definitely one that has stayed with me."

"I once helped conduct a service for a gentlemen who passed away of old age, he and his daughter were very close. I guess he had dementia before he had passed, and his daughter was taking care of him full time at home giving him hospice care."

"He apparently loved the song Memories by Adam Levine, as it came out before his diagnosis. His daughter made it a tradition to play it to him every night, because it was something he enjoyed listening to even if he didn't remember why."

"So she asked us to play this song on loop for the entire graveside service. Now that's all I remember when I hear that song."

- musicko1


However old you are, now is the time to start planning the big sendoff. Look no further for some ideas to start off the brainstorm session.

Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.

Predatory Business Tactics That Should Be Illegal But Aren't

Reddit user jwwin asked: 'What is a predatory business that shouldn't be legal, but is?'

Demonstrator holds sign that reads, "Drop this act of corporate gree!"
Patrick Perkins/Unsplash

Companies are typically in business for profit, and very few have the goal of keeping the customer's interests in mind.

But some corporations go even further to get more out of their customer in exchange for their "quality services" and as a result, the line between general business and scam becomes blurred.

Redditor jwwin asked:

"What is a predatory business that shouldn't be legal, but is?"

Students paying an exorbitant amount in tuition in order to seek higher learning should be warned there are additional expenses to cover for.

A Textbook Example

"College textbooks, they will release an 'updated' edition every semester but the information doesn't change. And then after you spent a fortune on the books the places that buy textbooks will give you like 5% of what you paid for the book."

– teethalarm

A "Double Whammy"

"Former Prof here. I talked with a book rep about this once and learned a lot. It is a bit complicated but worth understanding. Book publishers rely on large quantity sales to make any money on a book because the cost of production is so high up front (author, editors, printing, etc.). So, for a book to be profitable, it has to sell a lot of copies to spread the cost of production across all the books. A paperback in the fiction section might sell 100,000 or more. A textbook might sell as few as 1,000. So, the publisher needs everyone to buy the book to break even."

"Now add colleges into the mix. Somewhere in the 1980s (give or take), colleges saw publishers selling books and making larger profits on them than the college bookstore was making per book. So they got the bright idea to start buying used texts and reselling them. Before that, a text would come out and 97% (making the number up but it was close to that) of the students would buy the book in year one, 85% in year two, 75% in year three, 60% in year four and 50% in year five. A $50 dollar book would cost $25 to make (again, making the numbers up), sell to the bookstore for $40 ($15 publisher profit), and be sold to the student for $50 ($10 bookstore profit). Across the five years, the producer would make a profit."

"Then, college bookstores began offering students $25 for a used book and selling it for $40 ($15 profit - $5 higher than that of a new book). Students would then prefer the $40 used book over the $50 new book. But that cut the publisher's sales from 97% to 50% in the first year. Because they could not sell as many books they had to do two things: (1) raise the initial price of the text to cover the production cost in 1-2 years rather than 4-5 years, and (2) cut the cycle down from 4-5 years to 1-2 years to ensure that they got sales of the book. That is a double whammy. Texts that used to cost $50 now cost $300 or more. And they have a new version out every 18 months or so. Students refuse to pay that price and that cuts the sales numbers even further forcing the price up again. And, with new editions out so frequently, it is harder to sell them back to the bookstore."

"That's why you see so many 'course packs' now - where a professor will pick a few pages from a book to give to the students. I went from having nearly every student purchasing a text in my early career to having zero students with a text late in my career. Your professor probably dislikes the state of affairs as much as you do. I cut down what books I would select because I could not justify students paying that much for what they were getting. I would also recommend students look for older editions on Amazon and the like which got me in trouble with my administration because I was not supporting the bookstore. But, it was difficult to teach from a text that no one had or had access to. The University's desire to generate revenue from texts truly was killing the chicken because it was not producing enough eggs."

"So look for an older edition on Chegg, Amazon, or the like and match it up with what your professor is teaching from the new edition. You are right, it probably has not changed. Be careful for the problems at the end of the chapter - that is often where the changes are."

– BewnieBound

These businesses parade as services but they are notorious for taking more than what you're willing to pay for.

For A Future Owner

"Rent to Own (furniture, appliances, TVs, video game systems, etc.) The mark up on the interest over time ends up costing 4 times the purchase - or more."

– PartyAlarmed3796

"Well the trick is to not pay (seems to be what a lot of people do)."

– Expensive_Ad2695

"Which is why those places are so expensive and why they're actually kinda necessary for some people."

"They're taking a pretty big risk on people with no credit, and if a person with shi*ty credit needs a refrigerator or other necessary appliance, there's usually nobody else willing to work with them. Also, most of them report to credit agencies so you can build your credit through them."

"I'm not a fan by any means and I hate that people are buying video game systems and couches through them, but I still think they're filling a need."

– Pitiful-Pension-6535

Money Sucker

"Payday loan companies – they're like financial vampires, sucking the life out of people with high-interest rates."

– neonliolia

"And yet most of them are owned by major banks... hmmmm."

"Bank of America, Wells Fargo, US Bank, JP Morgan/Chase collectively all own the largest payday lender companies."

– Bramtyre

"In Canada, there is an effort to turn Canada Post into a kind of bank that offers basic banking services to the most vulnerable. Not sure what happened to that, but it was an alternative to check cashing and payday loan rackets."

– hobbitlover

Greedy Event Vendor

"Ticket Master."

– LTVOLT

"Agreed. We went to a preseason hockey game the other week. Tickets were $5 each but there was around $8 of Ticketmaster fees for each one and you had to use their app to get in the door because the barcodes change like every 30 seconds or something. It's ridiculous."

– darfus1895

Where can citizens turn to receive genuine care without drying up their financial resources?

Big Pharma

"Health Insurance and over priced perscription drugs."

"Wife is type 1 diabetic. Her pump is over $1000 a month WITH 50% coverage. $177 for just the sensor pack. We have the best coverage we can afford."

– Dukeboys_

"US pays the middle man for health care coverage. The middle man and the health care provider come up with "health packages" you can buy into, just in case you get sick. It's just sick how they funnel money from the middle class into this."

– dcoolidge

"Healthcare insurance industry. They can straight up reject claims you should be covered for and make you jump through near endless hoops to get them to pay for the service that is part of your plan."

– ColdHardPocketChange

All Out To Get Ya

"Homeopathic 'medicine' sellers."

"Psychics"

"Domain search engine registration scams (fake emails or physical mail that shows up saying 'your domain search registration is about to expire' and look exactly like warnings that your domain name is about to expire)"

"Fake homeowner warranty/car warranty scams loaded with so many limitations and exclusions they’ll basically never pay out."

"Multilevel marketing systems like Amway."

– 4wqrewtety

Losing Sight Of Kids' Well-Being

"From my experience working in group homes for youth are awful. The owners only want money and the more kids in care the more money."

– OddReputation3765

Going Nowhere Fast

"Car insurance."

"You get penalized for using it. Even just once in some cases."

– Effective_Sundae_839

"1000% agree. I was rear ended by a hit and run driver while i was stopped at a stop sign. Literally came to a stop for 3 seconds max and got destroyed. Car insurance wanted to give me 4k and shut me up. It’s called the nuisance fee. I eventually lawyered up and got 25k out of it. But like wtf. B*tch that’s what we PAY FOR, following renewal of my policy it increased hundreds of dollars a month and that was even after i switched to a different company. 'A claim is a claim regardless who is at fault.'”

– HitBackZach

Businesses taking advantage of their customers should be a crime, yet here we are.

What companies can you think of that legally continue to look after their own profitable interests above providing a decent service?

Two women looking on over a sunset
Photo by Briana Tozour on Unsplash

Everyone has disagreed with their friends, even their best friend, at least once in their life.

Sometimes these disagreements might even lead to arguments or fights.

Of course, the sign of a true friendship is the ability to forgive and forget, and if all is not necessarily forgotten, it eventually becomes water under the bridge.

Sadly, this isn't the case for everyone, as sometimes words are said, or incidents occur that are difficult, if not impossible, to forgive and recover from.

Bringing even the closest friendships to an effective end.

Redditor Duemont62 was curious to hear what led people to cut one or more of their closest friends out of their lives, leading them to ask:

"What's something a friend did that made you end your friendship with them?"

Meow!

"She was a cat hoarder and when I talked her into giving up 20 she said that would help making space for the fall litters (outdoor feral)."

"I gave up."

"She had 120 cats inside her house."- MeowMix24

Not Even The Tiniest Gesture...

"I was run over by a drunk driver years back."

"Died temporarily and had to be revived at the hospital."

"Both my brothers told my best friend of over 20 years what happened."

"Not once did he reach out to see how I was or ask if I was ok or wished me well."

"I was hurt by it, but tried to make some sort of sense of it, like maybe he just didn’t know what to say or he was shocked by the news or he wanted to give me space to recover."

"Months later I’m home but still in crutches and can barely move without a great deal of pain."

"Reached out to my friend on the phone, talked a bit and asked if he felt like coming over to watch a movie, play some games and just hang out."

"I was lonely and missed him."

"He seemed enthused but asked if I could WALK to his house in December on icy roads barely able to hobble around on crutches to hang out there instead."

"He lived 0.2 miles from me and couldn’t drive or walk the roughly 5 minutes to my house."

"I stopped talking to him shortly after."- MitchConnor555

Victim Of The Bottle

"I had one where the guy was a horrendous drunk."

"Super sensitive to alcohol and would very easily slip into blackout status."

"When he would get drunk, he just wanted to f*ck with people and be a sh*t disturber."

"One night he was pretty drunk and we didn't feel like f*cking with with so we went out without him."

"We come home around 11 that night and he had a bunch of sketchy people in our house that we're also obnoxiously drunk."

"He was almost passed out on the couch after he had burned a huge hole in our carpet after going into my room and getting my hookah setup."

"I go upstairs and there are just random people I had never met just chilling out in the random bedrooms."

"Some people smoking weed on my bed."

"One random drunk guy was screaming at someone on the phone and gave the person on the phone our address and told them to bring everyone over."

"We kicked everyone out which of course was a huge scene and conflict."

"We booted the guy out the next day."

"Haven't talked to him since"- PutinBoomedMe

When People Refuse To Change...

"Maybe not anything dramatic but my best friend from university came back to visit his parents who live in the same city as me and we wanted to have dinner."

"I knew he was super flakey in university, so I made sure I kept my week open because I knew he wouldn't know when he was available until the last minute."

"I was so excited to introduce him to my fiancé and show him our new house."

"We got everything for a really nice dinner."

"The day before we had planned to have dinner, he texted me that he didn't feel like driving over from his parent's house (30 min) the next day because 'he might be tired'."

"I was mad that he was flaking on such important plans, but I offered to bring all the stuff for dinner and drive out to him instead."

"He said, 'No thanks'."

"I realized that he really didn't care about anything that was going on in my life and was still as immature as he had been in university."

"I decided it wasn't a friendship I wanted to maintain anymore."- kitskill

It Was All Fine Till SHE Came Along...

"He married a girl who is incredibly hard to get along with and turned into a robot."- Gua_Bao

Warped Priorities...

"Friends for over a decade."

"I was her maid of honor."

"She had 3 children with her husband, whom I was also very good friends with."

"I was very close with the kids, they called me auntie."

"I worked for her out of a home office."

"Watched the marriage deteriorate."

"She started a relationship with one of her clients after the marriage ended."

"She then started to treat her children like a burden."

"The new relationship was (and still is, to the best of my knowledge) more important than her children."

"When someone starts to severely neglect their children for a new exciting f*ck boy, I have to walk away."- redrainbow76

Friends Don't Take Advantage Of Other Friends...

"They were using me for free rent and as a scapegoat."- Chicago_Synth_Nerd_

The Green Eyed Monster...

"After talking to a guy I liked, we found out my 'best friend' was telling both of us that the other person didn't like us/found us annoying."

"He would ask her to invite me to parties, and she'd tell him I couldn't come, or that I said no and that he annoyed me."

"She'd tell me that he didn't invite me because he thought I was annoying."

"All because she liked him but wouldn't admit it to anyone."

"When we finally realized, we got together and stopped being friends with her."

"We've been together for 11 years now!"- horton_hears_a_homie

Not There When You Needed Them...

"The last straw: showing me no support when my dad passed away."- didyoubutterthepan

What Goes Around Comes Around...

"My best friend of 10 years and her husband had a falling out with my brother because my brother chose to stay out of a situation they were having with someone else, another mutual friend of ours."

"He didn’t wanna get involved."

"I agreed he shouldn’t get involved."

"They got so nasty and bitter about it all over time, and ended up lying to my brothers new wife and told her he cheated on her with one of our other friends."

"I knew this not to be true at all."

"They continued to make up stories and lie to her about him and it eventually destroyed their marriage because it created mistrust and conflict."

"His wife already had a lot of mental health struggles and it made it worse for her."

"They eventually divorced."

"I cut them out of my life."

"Since then, they have apologized and admitted to making up all the stories out of hurt and bitterness that my brother wouldn’t take their side in the conflict they were having with someone else, but it is all just too late."

"My brothers marriage was destroyed and so was our friendship."

"No coming back from that."

"By the way, my brother didn’t get involved because they were the ones in the wrong and if he told them that, imagine how much worse their revenge would be!"

"They’re unhinged."

"And their own marriage has since fallen apart."

"Karma."- NachosandMargaritas

Some might say that any true friendship is salveagable.

Leading one to wonder if any friend you found yourself cutting out of your life completely was ever a real friend at all.


man holding book on road during daytime
Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

Starting your first job is always nerve-wracking. The start of anything new usually is. That's why it's helpful to get some advice.

Before I started my first job, a friend of mine told me that there were a lot of things I should be willing to do in order to become indispensable, but one thing I should never do is give up lunch.

Even if it's a busy day and everyone is working through lunch, take five minutes to buy something at the deli next door or pop something in the microwave. You will not do your best work if you do not eat a meal.

I was very glad to get that advice, and it was something I always followed.

I also followed my own personal rule of writing down the process to do anything at work, even if it was as simple as where to look for a particular file. Anytime I thought 'oh, I'll remember,' I ended up having to ask again. It's always better to write it down so you not only know how to do it, but are the one that people come to when they need to know how to do it.

I'm not the only one that has good advice for someone starting their first job. Redditors are full of advice and are ready to share.

It all started when Redditor CampDreamy asked:

"What advice would you give someone starting their first job?"

Think Positive

"95% of success is showing up on-time and not having a bad attitude."

– Firebolt164

"There’s a quote that goes something like: you don’t need an advanced degree to show up on time, work hard, and have a positive attitude."

"I basically used this as my mantra as I built my career (and still do)."

– tyrannosean

"This has been my experience in my first ~5 years of employment. Being someone that people enjoy interacting with, sticking to deadlines, and broadly trying to make lives easier rather than harder will get you pretty close to the top, and it’s a lot easier than working overtime every day."

– 2catsinatrenchcoat

"Yep, when I was younger I always thought that just showing up on time, being a decent person to work with, and doing a good job were the bare minimum that everyone did....I learned later that this will put you above approximately 90% of your co-workers."

– raoulduke212

Sound Advice

"Poop on company time."

– 1320Fastback

"Well, sh*t."

– CampDreamy

"Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime. That's why I poop on company time."

– mrselfdestruct066

Everyone Makes Mistakes

"Don't worry about f**king up. You're going to f**k up. We all f**k up. Constantly."

"Learn from it when you f**k it up so you do it better next time and you'll be the best employee in any job."

– MaximumZer0

"And when (not if) you f**k up, own up to it, and do your best to fix it. It's way easier to fix a mistake when it first happens than 3 weeks or even hours down the line. This applies to basically any field."

– super5aj123

Gossip Girl

"Listen to gossip if you want, but never spread it."

– GamerMomLife

"Yep. I worked in a private pool snack bar kitchen last summer, and nearly all of my coworkers were high school girls. The amount of sh*t they talked on each other was insane, but I just tried my best to not get involved. It never became anything other than sh*t-talking, but it's just a good idea in general to keep your head down."

– super5aj123

"I work in a kitchen with majority middle-aged women, and it's simular to what you described."

– DeadStar800

Do It All

"If they tell you to sweep, just sweep. You still make the same amount. Unless you’re an MD or something else, in that case you’re f**ked!"

– PublicEnema11

"A programmer consultant I knew in the 90s lived by the motto "it all pays the same.""

"You want him to spend his $50/hr time doing things that an unpaid intern could handle? Sounds like an easy day."

– Cacafuego

(Don't) Let It Burn, Burn, Burn

"Don’t burn bridges if you quit or get fired."

– kbrown423

""Never cut what you can untie.""

"- Robert Frost"

– sophistt_

It's All Public

"Assume everybody in the company plus clients will read every email you send."

– CouchieWouchie

"Yeah this is genuinely a great rule that will save your @ss. Write every email as if it will be read by the whole org."

– FrungyLeague

"Also speak as though anything you say is being recorded."

– squished_frog

Protect Yourself

"Document EVERYTHING. Every time punch. Every direction from your supervisor."

– DejectedDonut

"Do this if you are working outside your duties/responsibilities as well, or directed to do things. You want a paper trail of why you did what you did if something screwy happens."

"Ideally, the work place should concentrate on policy, protocol, training, engineering and admin controls and such... but well stuff isnt always ideal."

– Zech08

Work Friends

"You're going to feel tempted to make strong relationships with your coworkers - but remember that you shouldn't share with anyone what you wouldn't want known by everyone. You may think you can trust someone, but you should have a bit of caution."

"A lot of work relationships feel a bit like a friendship, but they are not. If they move on, or you do, it is rare that you will stay in touch. Accept it for what it is."

– Mobtor

Education

"Take advantage of tuition reimbursement to get degrees/certifications that will benefit your career and don't worry about "owing" the company for it."

"Many industries have pretty generous tuition reimbursement programs where they cover your school but you owe them time after they cut those checks. A typical program might have a requirement that if you leave the company you need to pay back anything they had paid out in the last two years."

"The thing is that you want to leverage that degree for a salary jump and the current company won't give it to you because they have you "locked" in now, right?"

"So you interview for your next job and when that company gives you an offer you explain that you're on the hook for the tuition reimbursement at your old company "and since you will be getting the benefit of that education I will need a signing bonus to cover my financial obligation to my current employer.""

"Keep in mind that the signing bonus will be taxable income so you need to shoot for an amount that will have taxes taken out and leave what you need to pay back the tuition."

"I've known too many people who didn't get a degree that could have really helped them but they didn't want to be "on the hook" to their employer. I even know one guy who spent close to $30k out of his own pocket to get a master's degree because he didn't want to "be stuck here" when he was done."

– tacknosaddle

The Little Moments Matter

"Don’t miss any major life events (or the major life events of close family/friends) for work. You might feel pressure from your employer not to take the time off."

"The family/friends will still be around for many years, the first job probably won’t."

– mxxiestorc

Learn To Save

"Pension! Pension! Pension!"

"Put as much as you can afford to into your pension. Retirement might seem a lifetime away but the sooner you save for it the sooner you can achieve it."

– Grayzo

Money, Money, Money

"Pack a lunch! Eating out can put a huge dent in your paycheck!"

– awileycat

"Can't stress this enough. For the price of eating out unhealthy food for 1 day you can usually pack healthier lunch for 2-3 days."

– QuantumExileMusic

Oh, yes! I found out about that last one the hard way...and still haven't learned!

An hourglass with blue sand sits among a field of rocks
Photo by Aron Visuals

Just the other evening, I was walking home, and I barely survived.

I tripped on a dead tree branch.

The next thing I knew, I was flying in the air and landing on my back.

My belongings were strewn about.

And my to-go burger was dead.

A simple walk.

A simple dead branch.

And almost lights out.

Redditor Typical_XJW wanted to hear about the times people eluded death, so they asked:

"How did you almost die?"

Don't even get me started on any and every car ride.

We're always moments from the end on highways.

Back in the Day...

Hunger Games Student GIFGiphy

"Almost drowned when I was 5 or 6, been hospitalized twice for sepsis between 2016 and 2019, and had a stroke this year. I'm 29."

ChristmasKid88

On the Disk

"MRSA infection in the disk on my lower spine between L5 and S1. Showed up two days after a cortisone shot but the hospital said it was from something else. Was in hospital 25 days multiple emergency surgeries."

EatA**FromBack

"I worked for a doctor who did these in-house and other procedures, and it 100% made me not trust medical facilities, cleanliness, and sterilization procedures. Had about twenty patients all come down with the same gut infection, 'coincidentally,' the same patients who came in for endoscopy procedures the same day."

dimlylit_

Saved

"Saving a younger friend from drowning, he panicked and almost took me out."

loztriforce

"Had that happen with a younger cousin when we were kids. His brother and I went to save him, he climbed on both of us and pushed us under. Lifeguard didn’t even see us until he pulled younger cousin out of the water, then we popped up gasping for air."

coffeejunki

Shucked

"16-year-old farm kid me, stepdad told me to go pick up a load of corn seed for planting. I had gone with him many times before, and driven the truck (full ton dually diesel) and hauled light stuff with it. Nobody told me how different it is to haul 10,000 lbs of seed on a big flatbed trailer on gravel. I had a lot of common sense and was driving slowly and carefully."

"Still… 10,000+ lbs pushed me down a gravel hill skidding, praying to god I stopped before the stop sign at the T intersection to a busy highway. I came to a grinding halt JUST as the front of the truck crossed the plane where the gravel turned to asphalt. A semi was coming from one direction and regular cars from the other. I shudder thinking about what if on that one. Don’t let untrained kids tow potentially deadly, heavy trailers, with zero training."

datnetcoder

Finding Tracks

College Sports Sport GIF by Sealed With A GIFGiphy

"Was backwoods camping in Yellowstone and if I hadn’t considered for 30 seconds if I REALLY needed to get up and go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, I would have walked out of my tent headfirst into a brown bear, which I heard before leaving and found tracks of next to my tent in the morning. Spookiest moment of my life in hindsight."

danvo5

Bears are a no go for me.

Camping is an even bigger HECK NO!!

Several Strikes

Reassuring Jimmy Fallon GIF by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy FallonGiphy

"Twice. 1. Woke up to my apartment on fire."

"2. Hit head-on by a drunk driver on a small bus, just after everyone got off bus exploded."

lizard_king0000

Oh Barb

"Lmao okay, so I was getting my teeth cleaned, and I got nitrous oxide because I have so many exposed roots. Well, my hygienist at the time was this lovely lady from Minnesota. Kinda flaky, but super sweet, and talked about her family all the time. So I'm in the chair and she hooks up my mask, and away we go. I actually fell asleep! Except not so much."

"Turns out Barb had forgotten to turn the oxygen on and had been feeding me straight nitrous. She only noticed because I started gasping for air while unconscious. So that's how I almost died at the dentist. I never saw Barb again, but I tell you, that was the best nap of my life!"

CharismaticAlbino

Climb Up

"I was snorkeling. I had my other stuff stored on a rock by the water, about 3 meters high. When I got out, I decided to climb straight up. Almost at the top, the rock I was hoisting myself up on came off and I fell back first onto the coral. If a friendly wave hadn’t come in, I would have broken my back, at least."

Yugan-Dali

Blood Loss

"I was diagnosed with a rare fatal blood disorder from birth, doctors projected I’d live till about 6 and then die from massive blood loss. As this was the mid-90s, they tested the idea of using stem cells from my sibling's umbilical cord; administering the first successful stem cell transplant from a sibling donor and I’m still here to tell the tale!"

Material_Cry1697

These were some tremendously close calls.

Do you have any near-death experiences to share? Let us know in the comment below.