Frustrated People Share The Most Uncomfortable Situations "The Nice Guy" Has Put Them In
Nice guys finish last - and the pretend ones try to game their way into first place. Some dudes just don't know when to quit. Take the hints, gents, when someone says they're not interested.
Al027HLHlx asked, What's the most uncomfortable situation a "nice guy" has put you in?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
$20 and an elementary school at night. Totally normal.
Met a "nice guy" over OKC a couple years ago, I gave him my number after we chatted for a bit and talked about possibly meeting. When he suggested we meet at a local elementary school in the middle of the night I noped out and told him it was nice talking to him but I didn't want to meet anymore. He kept trying to convince me by saying he would buy me gifts, he really likes me and thinks we could hit it off. When I told him no he blew up and called me a whore, the usual. He tells me that I now owe him $15 because he had already bought me a present for our "first date" and that I needed to meet him RIGHT NOW to give him his money. Or I could meet him and have a "good time" and forget about all of this. Blocked his number right away and didn't hear from him until the next day when he calls me from a DIFFERENT NUMBER. When I picked up he acted pleasant and asked me what time we were going to meet today for our date. I told him to piss off and blocked him again. Then I get a text a couple hours later from ANOTHER f_cking phone number saying that if I don't meet him, he was going to kill himself. After a bit of (unnecessarily) dramatic conversation.
Fast forward to about six months ago when I got a text from an unknown number. I knew exactly who it was when I read the text, "I have $20 and a fun night planned for us. Want to meet sometime soon? Miss you." Blocked it, changed my number. Never giving it out to a stranger again.
Why are high school kids like this?
There was a guy in high school who had a crush on me. He was never shy about it, and from day one he made me feel really uncomfortable. He'd ask me out multiple times a day, always in front of my friends (who didn't help because they'd always egg me on to go out with him - I was the new kid in school and they'd all been friends with him since elementary school). When I kept saying no, he assumed it was because I was seeing someone else, so he started telling people I was sleeping with random guys in school (I wasn't, I had no interest in dating any of the boys I went to high school with). Any time I tried to tell him to stop doing that he (and anyone else around for that matter) said he was just joking and I needed to lighten up.
It all came to a head at the homecoming dance my junior year. He was a senior, so it was his last homecoming. Apparently, the day before homecoming he told one of my friends that he'd asked me to the dance and I said yes. He had not asked me, I never had any intention of going to the dance. He kept going on to my friend about how special he wanted it to be, that he spent all his money on tickets, gas, new shoes and a corsage. My friend was so excited for him that she went over to his house the day of homecoming and helped him get everything ready. She also told all our friends what was going on, so EVERYONE was under the impression I was going to the dance with him (let me also add, no one checked with ME that I was going to the dance, so this was all going on without my knowledge).
He told everyone that I was going to get dropped off by my parents, so he and all my friends waited outside for me. They waited for 3 hours. Apparently any time my friends told him to come inside and that I wasn't coming he'd start tearing up and say, "just 5 more minutes."
So, of course, I show up to school on Monday and everyone was FURIOUS at me. None of my friends wanted to talk to me. I sat alone at lunch for 3 days completely confused about what was going on before some girl I'd never talked to before asked me why I'd stood this guy up.
So I went up to the guy when he was alone, asked what the Rhe'd done, and he just started laughing hysterically and said, "if you agree to go out with me I'll tell everyone it was just a misunderstanding."
Never talked to the guy again. It permanently damaged my friendships with several people because they thought I was a massive asshole to this guy who they thought was really sweet.
"He's a lucky guy" would have been the appropriate response.
I was like 19 and working 3rd shift at a gas station, casually sweeping the floor. The door opens and I hear that _ding _so I look up and make eye contact with some guy.
I can't explain what was going on in this guy's head, but it was like he thought it was some kind of slo-mo movie situation, and he "staggered" back, gasping, and widening his eyes and staring at me. I am not the kind of person to notice this kind of stuff in other people, I felt like I was reading a scene from Twilight in my head.
I went behind the checkout counter, he grabbed his red bull or whatever. He kept obviously looking at me in shock and shaking his head like he was trying to psych himself up for something (ladies, you know that feeling when you know someone wants to catch your attention and talk to you but you're trying to keep it casual). This went on for like 20 minutes and I couldn't accomplish anything because I'm waiting for this dude to check out.
Anyway, so he walks up to the checkout super dramatically, I check him out, he stares the whole time and finally sighs, saying, "I never expected to see such a beautiful woman at a gas station. This is fate, you shouldn't be working here, I just can't help myself, I have to ask you to go out with me."
I said sorry, I have a boyfriend.
He seriously looked enraged. He clenched his fists and gave me this overly dramatic scary look, grabbed his stuff, and stormed out the door. He moved his car so the bright headlights were facing the front of the store and sat there until the next customer came, probably an hour later.
Honestly, I wasn't too scared, it was just like, really? I just wanted to finish my list of duties at this crappy gas station and live my life. But some joe concocted a bizarre dream scenario in his head and somehow that was my fault.
There are por- *HORROR* movies that start out like this.
I had to get a ride from a "friend" my junior year of high school. For some reason, I didn't have my car (I don't remember all the details). He stopped about a mile from my house and pulled over onto the side of the road. He told me he had a dream where we had made out and that I was a really good kisser and he decided I could either walk home from there or kiss him.
'My sister and I come as a package' is not cute.
Met a guy at a gathering at a mutual friend's place and ended up getting stuck talking to him all night.
Night ends and I don't give it another thought. Couple weeks later he calls my house. I didn't give him my last name or phone number. Since he now has my number, he also knows my address and starts showing up at my house at weird times, sometimes with his equally creepy sister.
Fast forward a few years, I haven't lived at home for at least a year. He shows up. Dad answers the door and just tells him I'm not in, not that I don't live there or anything.
Later that same night, dad lets the dog out for a pee before bed. Dog disappears into the backyard, chasing something she really wants to catch. Thinks it's a skunk or something until he hears the gate on the neighbor's fence open and close quickly. Dog has chased a person out of the backyard. My old bedroom window faced our backyard. We don't know for sure, but I think my dog chased that creep out of our yard.
When you're desperately itching to be the rebound. Why?
Had a VERY difficult, traumatic ending to a long-term, live-in engagement. He went to jail, I decided to go to Europe to backpack for the summer. Best friend (m) agreed to come along and was VERY aware this was a post-breakup get away, to clear my head and have fun.
He flew out ahead of me to visit family. I arrived at the airport to see him waiting for me in Europe on bended knee, ring and flowers and all.
I was furious, and that friendship was destroyed. Vacation was equal parts horrendously awkward and tense, and amazing, but ended with him drunkenly ranting about it all again in a hostel one night, ultimately becoming physically aggressive toward me, and a group of stranger hostel bunkies helping to quietly pack my stuff while he was finally passed out, and get me to the airport and home immediately. I haven't seen him since, about eight years now.
'She's going to love the whole being held hostage thing.' MMMM nope.
I considered him a friend. Stayed at his apartment when visiting his town, he slept in the living room, I in the bedroom. When it got late, he started making "jokes" about how he had hidden the bedroom key and that I should get "ready" for him. I spent the night half-awake and fully dressed from sheer fear. In the morning, I packed and wanted to leave, but he wouldn't let me go without having a "goodbye kiss". He physically blocked the door so I couldn't get out. I tried to play it off and somehow managed to squeeze by him without getting kissed, but it was a terrifying experience. And that was the end of our friendship.
When a man doesn't think women are people...
Nice guy from college (we're talking trenchcoat and fedora, fingerless gloves, pathetically sleazy smile, the whole shebang. In a tropical country, at that.) who kept trying to talk to me even as I was clearly trying to do my homework.
Now, I was okay with multitasking. I could do homework and listen and respond to him but he wouldn't have it. "Hey, Tuna, you know what? I REALLY hate it when women (yes. Not people. Women, specifically.) ignore me." I was dumbfounded but also really offended so I shot back that I WAS listening to him, even if I wasn't looking at him. "No, but when I'm talking to someone, I want them to LOOK at me." Friend overheard this and went off on him faster than I did. He left me alone after that.
Not as terrible as the other answers here but that was my first real taste of it.
"FAPFAPFAPFAPFAP" isn't the most tactful way to woo a stranger.
I worked for a few years at a children's museum. There was this single dad with three daughters, who was cute but way too old for me, especially at the time, when I was 19 and he was about 35. I also got a weird vibe from him, but he was always very sweet, if a little uncomfortable. His daughters were adorable. The following events happened over probably a 6-month-period.
One day, some guest approaches me and asks me if I've seen this "missed connections" on Craigslist about the museum. It. Was. About. Me. The guy was writing about the things we had talked about and was saying how good we would be together, etc. Thinking back, I honestly think that she must have been friends with the guy???? Because it was too weird that she approached me out of all the other workers, then ASKED ME what I thought about the guy who wrote the ad???
Later, he found me on Facebook and tried to add me. I didn't add him, and the next time he was in the museum, he followed me room to room and just glared at me from afar, not talking to me. Super uncomfortable. I thought it would be easier just to add him, so I did. Then he starts commenting really weird cringey sexual stuff on my photos, like a gif of Pikachu biting his lip, or just "FAPFAPFAPFAPFAP" so I decided enough is enough and deleted him.
THEN he tries to win me back or something??? He brings a wrapped canvas to the museum and gives it to MY BOSS saying it "would be too weird to just give it to her..." and my boss calls me down later and makes me open it in front of everyone (it was a very fun workplace and we loved to rip on each other) and it was a painting of one of my photos from Facebook! I was so mortified. I put it away, but one of my coworkers (and also my best friend) replaced the clock in the breakroom with my portrait, because she is a worst lol.
While it was funny, I also asked my boss to kinda watch out for him, so from then on I didn't see him anymore, and I blocked him on Facebook. So I think I'm safe!
Dude should have been fired for this.
He was my coworker, and 20 years older than me. I know some people might go for that, but it personally weirds me out.
Anyway, he started harassing me. He would call at odd hours. He left me racy pictures in my box at work. Gave me presents. So I reported him, and he got a little slap on the wrist. But next time he saw me, he started rubbing my shoulders and I told him to stop, not to touch me. He blew up, started screaming at me, in front of all the customers.
After that though, he left me alone. Should have been fired, but eh, at least he left me alone. But unfortunately, I'm pretty sure he chose another woman to harass in my place. Good thing is he's on disability now, out of the workforce for good.
'I know you have a boyfriend, but I'll objectify you.'
Wouldn't leave me alone while I was working. Kept saying it was a 'shame I had a boyfriend' because 'you're so pretty and I'd treat you right'. Overtipped ( like, WAY too much) 'because you're so beautiful'. I work at a busy music venue, so he basically had to yell all of this at me while I was helping a hundred other customers. I eventually had to tell him to buzz off, which just meant he stared at me all night from the crowd, waving at me. After the lights went up he came over and launched into his 'it's a shame you have a boyfriend' bit, so I gave him some excuse and booked it. Why come to a show if you're just going to creep on someone WHILE SHE'S WORKING? Dudes creep on me sometimes, but never as a self-described better-than-your-boyfriend guy
I'm 31 - show me your credit score and a bank statement and I'll consider it. Can we at least finish the second date?
Second date, and "nice guy" surprise proposed me in a mall surrounded by too many people.
I need new shoes.
I'm a guy. I had a close female friend years ago who was super friendly and outgoing. We easily became friends because we had a lot in common but I never liked her in that way and vice versa. However, her outgoing and friendly personality would often attract the 'nice guys'.
She was telling me about this guy who she was sort of friends with who offered to take her shopping one day when she said she needed new shoes. Being polite and friendly she went with him but then he insisted on paying for her shoes which were 200 dollars because he was a 'nice guy'. Then he asked if it was ok for them to drop by his house on their way to her house. When they got there, his mother apparently made a big deal about my friend and left the two of them alone in the house assuming they were boyfriend and girlfriend. During this time apparently the guy was grinning sheepishly and taking in all the praise.
She had to set him straight after that but he'd get annoyed and harass her about stupid stuff like hanging out with other guy friends etc. I think eventually he got the message but I thought the story was worth sharing.
Respect the friend zone, dude.
I was at a friend's house when their friend shows up. He keeps saying he wants to go to an amusement park, but he has nobody to go with (heavily hinting towards me). My friend suggests the guy take me, and I tell him I'm too broke to go. He offers to pay, and I say no a few times, he insists more so I say " ok, if you insist... But this is NOT a date and we are just going as friends." He says ok and he understands. He did not.
The way there, he kept telling me how beautiful I was and trying to hold my hand. I continued to tell him, "I said we were going as friends", and he said, "of course!" But when we got there and we're waiting in lines for rides, he kept trying to kiss me and hold my hand. I turned my head away idk how many times, and I slapped his hand away... And he continued to persist. Eventually, I just pretended not to feel good and he took me home.
The guy tried to message me on Facebook the next day, asking me out on a date. I told him I was not interested in dating him, as I had explained before. We could be friends though. He then called every name in the book before blocking me. Good riddance.
Found the incel.
Last semester of college I had a class with this weird and obviously desperate, but super awkward and negative guy. He acted really "fake" to boot. He always tried talking to me, but his intentions were super obvious (aka "women are not human, they are this elusive thing and I need to catch one of them") One day, I ran into the guy at the college shuttle. He said hi to me, and I did respond with a simple hi. I didn't really know him, so I left it at that. He sat behind me, and starts audibly and angrily muttering to himself about how girls don't pay attention to him and that he just tries and tries so hard yadda yadda yadda. That he's being nice, but they're just b****es, etc. It was so uncomfortable and he kept complaining the whole time.
Spiderman memes and calling a d_ck pic "cute" is a sure sign she ain't interested.
I was trying to leave a frat party and the two guys "guarding" the closet claimed it was 'house rule' that a girl has to give them her number to get their coats. This was not a place I was familiar with, and it was a narrow hallway tucked out of the way from the rest of the party. They were larger than me, drunk AF, and kept trying to sweet talk me into staying upstairs with them instead because they're so nice. Since they had been so nice to make sure no one stole our things at the party we had to pay them back. One guy even said I could just flash him instead.
I gave them my number, and when a guy started to text me I only responded with spiderman memes until he gave up. Literally never saw them again.
Edit: I was drunk, it was late, the party sucked and just wanted to go home. I felt cornered (my purse with my room key, phone and wallet were in the closet, as was my jacket and it was 35F out) and had also never been in the situation where a guy asked for my number wouldn't take a no. I'm older and I know better now, as this was years ago.
Reason number 517 I don't use Snapchat.
I went on one date with a guy I had 'met' online after a year of talking. After the date, I didn't think it would be going anywhere (he had exaggerated what he looked like lmao) and after I told him this and we stopped talking he rang SIX florists in my area to send me a dozen red roses. The worst thing about it, I had never told him where I lived, he had used my location on the Snapchat map for the estate that I lived in. When confronted about the roses he sent me a full-length song that he had written about me and our one date. I was traumatized.
No need to feel terrible, nice guys don't do this.
We were friends until one day on Valentine's Day he brought out his guitar and sang to me in front of a crowd and ended up asking me to be his girlfriend. I had a boyfriend of 2 years so I had to say no to him in front of all those people. Thing is I had mentioned my boyfriend in almost every conversation and he still looked completely shocked that day when I told him I had a boyfriend. He was the nicest guy and I really appreciated our friendship! we stopped talking after that day though. I felt terrible!