Home owners' associations (HOAs) are organizations created by real estate developers "for the purpose of developing and managing a community of homes, town homes and/or condominium units," meaning that your home is subject to a neighborhood's vote at any time. It makes the community easier to manage for the developer, but sometimes it really leeches on its members.
weeping_pegasus asked Reddit:
Here are some of the horror stories.
My Dad owned a house in an HOA about 15 years ago. Overall it was nothing noteworthy, until the vice president moved and sold her home. HOA required all front yards to have one tree, hers didn't the entire time she lived there. Sold the house and the new owner was fined for not having the required tree. She was a single mom who had just gotten divorced so it's not like she had money for a full grown tree. When my dad moved he said that killed HOAs for him.
A friend of mine lived in an HOA neighborhood, but because this house had been in the family for generations, before the neighborhood was even there really, they weren't part of the HOA, they never had to join. The HOA only formed a few years ago, but apparently didn't realize that my friend, let's call him bob, hadn't even been told about the HOA. Bob is single and travels a lot, but he comes home one day to find a total of $13,000 in fines for his house being the wrong color, his deck being unapproved, and a bunch of other bs. So Bob outright refuses to even acknowledge the fines, just has the post office return to sender. A few months later he comes home to see that his deck has been demolished and his house repainted. Apparently the HOA had granted itself the right to correct any violations of exterior appearance upon failure to pay the relevant fines. Unlucky for the HOA, Bob happens to be a former lawyer, he quit the practice a few years prior to help the family business, but Bob still knows how to lawyer. Bob sues the HOA, and the HOA smugly thinks it's a clear cut case in their favor. Bob only had to say a few words in his statement, most of which was "I'm not f*cking part of the HOA!" The HOA ended up admiring liability and had to pay a bunch of fees, and ended up disbanding.
My house flooded 2 months after I bought it. HOA got involved and blamed my kids putting toys down the toilet (they are too old for that). I spoke to neighbors, found out 5 houses in a row had flooded.
We all got together and demanded an investigation by an independent plumber. Long story short, our HOA owns the sewage and water lines under all the houses that connect to city water. They had not been repaired for years or flushed out, and were made of a material that eroded underground, it backflowed raw sewage into the 5 houses affected and flooded the grassy areas with sewage also.
All my neighbors are senior citizens. The HOA admitted responsibility and held an emergency meeting to repair damage. My house was done last and I agreed with that because the other ladies are 70+ and wheelchair bound or disabled, I'm under 40.
By time my house was done, the sewage had been wiped up from tile floor and treated with fungal chemicals, but mold was growing in master shower and carpet was destroyed. They had to replace brand new carpet in bedrooms, drywall, paint new drywall a color I chose, and re-tile my whole shower. When old shower tile was torn out, plumbing wasn't to code, so that was done too. They spent about $15k on my house alone. I also told the HOA never to accuse my kids again.
Day we moved in we got a 40 dollar fine for leaving trash cans in plain sight.
Bothering The Cops
My grandfather lived in a small community of one-story townhouses. There was a lady that we called the 'traffic Nazi'. There was literally one street that ran a block down the community and she was outside every time that we came to visit grandpa. She would run you down, yell at you and threaten to call the cops if you went one mile over the speed limit. Walked around everyday trying to find little infractions to fine everyone with. Never saw her have visitors, probably just a coincidence.
For real though, she was SUPER impressive at judging your speed. 21mph? You're getting yelled at. 20mph? You're getting a sneer, but no yelling. 15mph or less? Wouldn't call it a smile, but the nicest expression I ever saw her make. 25mph? Calling the cops which would have to come out, but couldn't give a ticket because there's no proof.
I had a tiny tree in my yard that was showing signs of dying (hard to get stuff growing here in the Vegas heat..especially if you don't water it lol). HOA told me to pull up the dead tree or I would be fined. It was so flimsy I was able to cut it down with a handsaw. Got rid of the tree and the HOA sends me a letter to replace it or I would be fined??!! It was my decision to plant a tree there in the first place. How are they going to force me to keep a tree there now??
Not a homeowner but work for a company that manages them.
Apparently, in southern states that is not mine, trees are valuable. Okay, sure, I get it. However, one homeowner claims that two trees and their roots in her front yard (each lot has two trees) are growing into her plumbing pipes and breaking them. She has spent like thousands of dollars fixing her foundation alone.
I acquired the Association during the process. Both of us came to an agreement that she could remove the trees and just plant them somewhere else. They would still be in the front yard but just not on some water lines.
I let the Association know. It was reasonable and I had been through this with dozens of Associations before. Your property is more important than some aesthetics.
The Association straight up told me no. She can remove one tree but she has to pay to replant (that's actually really typical) but she will not remove the other one. I tried to explain this woman cannot keep fixing her pipes but they straight told me that moving into the place meant she accepted the plumbing issues.
That is not disclosed anywhere in any resale certificate or documents. I never heard of such a demand.
I had to call her back and tell her what the Association said. She's definitely gonna sue and it baffles me that there's no reason for it.
There's bad HOAs and then there's some with no common sense.
My long time neighbors were the first to move into the neighborhood where we live some 30-40 years ago. Their home was the first finished and sold. They had 8 kids at the time. The husband was out putting up an old school cable antenna on the chimney. While on his roof a man (the developer) came up and said, "Hey! you can't put that up there, it's against the homeowners rules!" He looked down at him confused and said "Are there any other members of the homeowners association?" "Well no.." " Then I hereby disband the association. The vote passes unanimously. Now get off my lawn." Saved us all a lot of trouble.
I'm in one that the was never turned over to the home owners. The declarant has elected his family as board members. Since he has a large number of lots that are not occupied, he maintains voting control.
We have never received a copy of the books (which is illegal). Our HOA fees are considerably higher than other HOAs in the area. We have no reasonable explanation where the money is going. My guess is that it's being embezzled.
My state has no oversight of HOAs - so this cluster continues with little recourse for the homeowners.
My parents bought a house in a now HOA neighborhood but they were one of the first residents in the neighborhood. When they first moved in there were no other houses around them. Now it is a full neighborhood. My dad built a really nice patio out back with a pergola a few summers ago and a week later one of the neighbors came over, whom my dad had never met, and told him that it violated the HOA. My dad basically told him to go pound sand. My dad is a carpenter and the patio/pergola looks great, not trashy or makeshift in any way. The neighbor was just being a nosy HOA d--che bag with nothing better to do. Nothing more came of it either. No fines, no letters, nothing.
No Real Reason
HOA president/vice president ( husband and wife) knowingly violated the rule of voting approval and and allowed someone to build a huge house on a tiny lot. The guy building the house show them a picture of a cute cape - get's approval without a vote - then put up something completely different. When called out on it their excuse was - "we're sick and no longer want to do it and nobody cares about voting"
We don't have HOAs in the small towns here, but we do have one woman who made a Facebook page of "people of the town" and has apparently appointed herself as Queen. She'll walk around town and then make passive aggressive posts towards anything she doesn't like.
She has started a battle with her neighbor across the street. The neighbor owns my grandma's old house so I'm on fairly friendly terms with her. So N (for neighbor) owns a house with two extra lots next to it and she also has two dogs. Now sometimes some poo will get missed in the pickup process, it's a very large area, and Queen decides to tell N, multiple times, that she needs to keep it perfectly clean AT ALL TIMES because Queens kids like to play in that yard. Out of pure principal N is now purposely leaving a few (not enough to look bad or smell) poo piles around the empty part of her yard.
I have many many stories about the crazy queen lady so I am for sure on Neighbors side.
Not an HOA but a National Registry Historic District which is like HOA on steroids.
Our house was built in 1880's and had original windows on the second floor. We wanted to replace them so that our house could be more energy efficient ($700 heating bills in winter). We learned that you cannot replace with modern windows but with ones that are period specific. In our case that meant single pane, wood only. The windows were not standard size and each one was slight different in measurements so that would be even more expense. And in order to do all of that you had to get approval through a design review which involved meetings and architect plans. Nope.
A year later a door to our shed was busted open and instead of just buying a door at Home Depot the design review panel wanted to go through the whole process (6+ weeks). Nope. We hired a friend to replace it at night with a store bought door and paint it so it matched the last one.
Selfish Dog Owner
This is my uncle:
There's a broken board in the fence in his backyard. On the other side is a vicious dog that presents a major threat to my uncle's 2 yo kid.
The problem is that the fence technically belongs to the neighbor, not him, so he can't fix it in order to keep the dog from coming through. The neighbor refuses to fix it. He's not allowed to build a second layer of fencing or anything like that because of the HOA.
I recommended: * a log pile to put in front of it * a fake log pile * a gun. Just in case. It's his child over a dumb dog.
I don't know if the situation is solved yet.
I moved into a condo with an HOA about six months ago, and just had my first real encounter with the HOA. They mailed me a letter warning me that I needed to remove my lawn chair from my balcony because it was partially folded up. Apparently this meant I was using the balcony as a storage space which is not allowed. I guess it's correct, I was storing the chair I planned to use on the balcony when the weather got better... on the balcony. It was folded to keep the seat from getting dirty in the meantime.
I own a condominium, apartment style individually owned units for those that aren't familiar. I could regale you with so much craziness. The HOA itself is terrible, but even worse seems to be the management companies they hire. I'll recount my first interaction with them.
I first became engaged when they slapped us with a $10,000 special assessment fee soon after I moved in. Went to the meeting and it seriously felt like I was on Jerry Springer. To this day I'm still unclear on what are facts vs speculations, but at least some of it was very much real. The night before this meeting, some angry neighbor types had brought in the cops and a news organization to publicly arrest and shame the building manager and assistant (staff members for the management company hired by the board) over a large chunk of missing money. Now the manager seemed like she was maybe into some ***, but this poor assistant was a woman in her 60s that had always been very kind and helpful to me and didn't directly even do the budgets. She teared up afterwards telling me how it was the worst experience of her life, being strip searched and treated like a degenerate in jail. She quickly quit and moved to a new city.
Back to that night, there is a faction of homeowners out for even more blood. Reveling in the arrests and convinced that not just both the staff, but the board members themselves must be prosecuted as well. The claims made were mainly that the management company had been making unsavory deals with contractors, leading to overcharging for work that was often inadequate. The building was out of money and out of code. The books weren't kept well. Money was certainly mishandled, but the extent of the malice was unclear. In addition, some strange events happened such as a homeowner having new appliances swapped with old appliances immediately after purchase. Aka his property was stolen and something of lesser value put in its place. But this whole meeting was a crazy, off the walls screaming match full of many other accusations and personal attacks. The board, clearly overwhelmed about the whole situation, didn't have the adequate evidence to prove their innocence and they had to play the unfortunate role of being the bridge between the management company and the homeowners. I don't personally think they were in on it, but some did. They were accused of getting kick backs and personal favors, with one member having claims made against her that she wasn't having to pay for her parking spot. She spoke up, at this point very distressed, about how not only yes is she paying for her spot and has multiple times shown the accusers evidence of that, but that these nosy "do-gooder" aholes were verbally harassing her every chance they got. She shared stories of the awful things people said to her and broke down in front of everyone about not feeling safe or welcome in her own home, all while actively trying to fix it through her role on the board. In the end, the building manager's whole family was tied to sketchy themes and the charges stuck. Unfortunately, we were left footing the bill of getting our building into shape.
At our old neighborhood, there was a section of the road that made a 90 degree turn, went straight for 3 houses, then made another 90 degree turn. As you can imagine, it was quite dangerous if you were going above the speed limit.
One day, a stupid 16 year old went 40 when she should have been going at a 20, and ended up flipping her car at that spot. Her keys were promptly taken away from her.
A couple years after my family moved out, we heard through the grapevine that a woman had started advocating for speed bumps, as our neighborhood had a lot of kids. She used the above event as evidence. As it turned out, the head of the HOA was this girl's mom. Speed Bump Woman was told "Oh, we don't talk about that here," when she brought it up.
Don't know what happened after that. At least the HOA in our current neighborhood consists of a bunch of old people who could care less what goes on.
When I was still living with my mom, I bought a boat. I always kept it at my dad's unless I was going to take it out the next day. Well one day I left it in the over flow parking and came out to a note saying I could not park it there. So my mom did some digging and found out that I could. It just couldn't stay for more then 72hrs. Which it never did. So we printed the part of the HOA rules that states that on pink paper and put it on my boat. As we are putting said paper on the boat one of the HOA people walked by and mentioned that it could not be parked there. Well needless to say we proved her wrong right then and there. Was so glad when we moved out of there.
My old townhouse I rented was in historical Old Town Alexandria, so any repairs to places like that was tricky b/c many of the homes there are historical or some sh-t. HOAs are b-tchier than usual.
Raw sewage backed up in the bottom floor bathroom and flooded the hallway and one bedroom. It didn't come out of the toilet, it came out of a drain in the floor of the laundry room. He thought it was just dirty water until we saw actual s***.
HOA tried to blame me and my roommates. Turned out tree roots had grown into the ancient sewer line and when a very heavy rain storm soaked the ground that weekend...well sh-t piled up, literally. HOA was irate when they found out this was something they had to pay for.
When it came time for us renew our rental agreement with the townhouse owner, who lived out of state, the HOA has kicked up such a fuss, mis-representing how it happened and basically causing such a stink trying to act like the damage was our fault, the owner wouldn't renew our lease even though we'd been renting from her for years. We were the one who had to coordinate with the plumbers and contracts fixing the townhouse, we did all the work to get the townhouse back in shape and sterilized b/c the owner couldn't.
B-tches on the HOA's say-so with 3 weeks notice and it's hard as f-ck to find housing in that area, especially on short notice. So I just moved away entirely b/c by that point I loathed the DC area and everything in it.
I live in a huuuge association (1 mile by half a mile, thousands of houses and apartments) and generally things are great, but after Hurricane Irma f-cked up all our sh-t the association turned a field near my house into a holding area for storm debris. It soon became a dump. Local contractors/handymen found out and we had mattresses, barbecues, bicycles, toilets, and everything else you'd normally take to the faraway dump if you didn't have one suddenly 20 miles closer and free - you just had to do it at night when the security guards were patrolling elsewhere.
99% of the garbage is now gone and security is posted there 24/7, but the field is still bare and full of things too small to clean easily - broken glass, nails from all the fences that were there, etc.
I'm still pissed and the association still has its' head up its' -ss about what it's going to do.
Love is crazy. I've finally come to that conclusion. And marriage, you take your life in your hands and just throw caution to the wind in hopes of survival with that step.
When love falls apart, things can get real messy, real fast. And I've always been stunned by people's behavior when love subsides.
More often than not, it's like they become different people. Sometimes people are beset by tragedy and grief and sometimes people smile wide and move on. It's a coin toss.
But my favorite post divorce personality has to be the sudden super villain. Oh honey watch out for them!
Redditor u/hyperyog wanted to hear all the tea from the divorcees out there by asking:
Divorced Redditors, what is the craziest thing you or your former spouse did after divorce?
I once had a friend who burned her ex's house down when he wasn't home. He had started seeing someone almost immediately, so she thought, lemme set their sparks. Yeah, she wasn't well. Whatever happened to just a quick goodbye?
Swipeddean winters crying GIF by MayhemGiphy
"She removed the retaining clips for my windshield wipers, but put the wipers back on the arms. First storm after I got my car back from her, driver side wiper flew off the car on Interstate 40. Good times."
"He wrote suicide notes and put them in my kids backpacks for them/me to find. Then he turned off his phone and went to a coworkers house to play crib and have drinks.. all the while knowing I would be freaking out searching for him thinking he was in danger or worse. Thankfully my kids didn't see the notes and didn't know what was going on. This was just one of the many, many crazy things he did. Two years out and he just recently stopped showing up at my work and driving by my house at night."
A Sad End
"Died of a drug overdose. To be fair, her drug addiction was the reason for the divorce, so maybe that isn't too crazy."
"That's so incredibly difficult to have gone through. I unfortunately know the depths of this kind of pain, and while I'm sure the circumstances surrounding it are different, the loss that still happened is a tragedy. My condolences."
"Stalked me for 5 years. Would make fake social media profiles to try to follow me (which I would block endlessly) and would try to find where I worked so she could talk to me. This lady cheated on me with 7 different men 2 months after we were married. I kicked her a** to the curb and made her sign the court papers."
"When we had our day in court she cried in the judges office while I just wanted to get this crap done. After, my dad was with me and he threw 50 dollars at her and told her to "change your freaking last name." Good guy Pops. I haven't seen or heard from her in about 5 years, thank goodness."
Take it All!skin care spinning GIF by Primal Life OrganicsGiphy
"I had an ex-boyfriend go through my apartment and take back every gift he had given me that he could find. Then he went in my bedside table and took the condoms. And the vibrator he had given me."
See now, when I'm out... I'm out! I don't want to see you, hear from you or know you. I wish you well in life, but please live it far from me. Anyone agree? Clearly not the people here. Let's continue...
For the Boybicycling father and son GIF by NETFLIXGiphy
"All I wanted was custody of my son, I gave her everything else except one of our cars. She fought me through 5 hearings, I won. She never came to see him again."
"My ex cheated on me the week my mom died in the hospital. She spent a year and a half trying to get in touch with me. She would call my old work and make fake accounts trying to message me on FB. It was insane. She later sends a certified letter explaining she was sorry that she did what she did and that she aborted our child."
"Wanted me to meet her somewhere so she could apologize face to face. She already married some other guy that she had children with and was still trying to get in touch with me. I never understood her."
"After years of telling me she wanted a child, that she wanted to be a mom, that her life's dream was to be a stay at home mom, she got pregnant with the first guy she slept with while we were getting divorced and put the kid up for adoption even before it was born. This was a long-standing thing with her, she always wanted something (car, house, dog, cat, marriage, etc) and the second she got it she immediately hated it."
"Called me and pretended he had been hit by a car while we were talking. He even tried to voice the crowd that had gathered around his "body." God-awful acting, but pretty funny listening to him try to mimic a woman's voice. Points for trying to be inclusive, I guess."
"I think he was trying to get me to re-live my trauma of being on the phone with a friend who actually HAD been hit by a car while we were talking. Too bad he didn't realize that hearing the real thing is worlds different than hearing a dumba** try to act it out."
"I was sending 600 dollars a month to support my daughter because she's the only thing I give a sh!t about. My ex texts me and tells me I need to be sending 1200 a month because she's broke and can't pay her bills and I should feel guilty about it. She left me for another guy while I was on deployment I told her to go screw herself--call my lawyer."
Pop OffTom Hanks Drinking GIF by The Good FilmsGiphy
"Took the sodas from the fridge as he walked out the door. Dumfounded."
See, I blame Alanis Morissette and her "Jagged Little Pill" album. All I'm going to say is... the secret song. I think she gave people ideas. (I love that song) Y'all, seek therapy if you can't shake people. When it's done, let it be done.
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Celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay is highly regarded for his delicious plates, his ability to run a solid restaurant, and, let's face it, his stage presence.
He's also a foul-mouthed Brit who is all too willing to dismantle people's self-esteems and compare them to livestock animals.
Alas, as watching all reality television goes, we love to see the crashing and burning.
But what if the shoe was on the other foot? What if you were the one being torn into by the sailor of all chefs, Mr. Gordon Ramsay.
Wondering what horrible dishes were lurking in unknown kitchens all over the place, Redditor FalloutSl*t413 asked:
"What's something you made that was 100% delicious but Gordon Ramsay would slap you for anyway?"
Some people talked about those purely functional meals that are just perfect for piling on enough protein and calories to get through the day.
"My mom used to make us 'Volcanoes.' Mashed potatoes topped with ground beef with some ketchup. I still tear it up to this day."
Quick and Easy
"I make weeknight 'enchiladas.' "
"You stick frozen taquitos in a casserole dish and cover them with canned or frozen chili and cheese. Bake them until everything's hot, serve with a dollop of sour cream. They sound disgusting but they taste amazing, and they take like, five minutes to prep."
"I know it looks like, smells like, and probably tastes like cat food but potted meat sandwiches. Look, when you're poor as hell and you can make 3 sandwiches with one little can that cost like 20 cents, it's pretty good."
"While I'm at it, Treet and bologna are pretty great. I have the taste palette of a raccoon and I like it that way."
"When I was younger I would make this thing where it was a patty melded of:"
- "a can of tuna"
- "two eggs
"And I would eat that almost daily, pan-fried, for lunch. Just slap me now and lets get it over with."
Others shared the recipes they make to feel fancy despite being totally trashy.
A Nuanced Process
"I call them 'chicken puffs.' Some par-cooked chicken (white or dark meat, either works) with sauteed serrano peppers and onions and garlic."
"All wrapped in crescent roll dough in little balls (a bit smaller than a baseball), put in a casserole tray filled juuuuust above the top of the little dough balls with cream of roasted chicken soup. Baked to completion/safety."
"Overly indulgent and delicious."
A Famous Side
"I consistently make a box of pastaroni angel hair and herbs as a side with meals I prepare for people. EVERYONE always asks for the recipe LOL please don't tell my secret"
Just a Couple Additions
" 'Fancy Ramen' Ramen made normal. Don't mix seasoning. Drain water. Add Mayo. Then mix in seasoning. And Volia. A lot of people question it. Until they try it."
Others outlined the things they eat that combine some ingredients it may seem disgusting to mix together.
Throw An Egg On There
"Fu** it lasagna, alternating layers of bread and shredded cheese (your choice which, I use cheddar) then crack an egg on top and put it in the microwave. Old depression meal, but it still holds up."
Hard to Wrap Your Head Around
"As a kid I would eat a banana with a cheese slice. Haven't tried it in years but it might hold up" -- Send_it_to_me
"Let's not" -- Sea-Entertainer-4974
"When I was younger I would make toast with peanut butter on it, then add pepperoni. Delicious then but I cringe thinking about trying it today"
The truly horrifying thing? There are so many more recipes out there that would leave Ramsay trembling.
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People love to talk about food. There are blogs, books, television shows, conversations in bars and farmers markets. In all likelihood, there is a recipe swap happening right this second in some deep corner of a suburb somewhere.
But sometimes talk is a lot of hot air. And the topic of food sure isn't immune to that criticism.
You can't get through a day without some telling you what "you gotta try."
The problem is, talking about food is often far more exciting than the food itself.
Redditor anicaodha asked:
"What food is overhyped?"
Many people were angry about garnishes. They hated the way restaurants try to entice people to eat certain menu items by slapping some kitschy ingredient on there.
A Very Expensive Burger
"Anything with gold flakes, absolutely pointless." -- Spend_Total
"ugh, i just remembered throwing up gold flakes from goldschlager, yuck!" -- spaceygracie12
"Aka how to add a crunch to your dish like a douche." -- CakeBot_TheReckoning
Catches the Eye Though
"Any rainbow food, rainbow grilled cheese, rainbow smoothie..."
"Just a cheap money grab."
No Breath On My Meal Please
"Dragon's breath/ nitro puffs or any dessert that contains liquid nitrogen to make it look cool." -- throwjango
"This stuff exists? God, I'm out of the loop." -- -The-Magic-8-Ball
"Truffle oil, usually doesn't contain a single truffle." -- BlckontheMoon
"The 1 thing I love about Truffle oil is I've never seen someone use it on a cooking competition show and not lose." -- igotmadshirts
Some people talked about the big trends that they just never could quite figure out.
That Almighty Nectar
"Remember when people were treating Nutella like it was the second coming of Christ?" -- Grapezard
"I had an Italian friend once invite me to his birthday party in high school. His mom made a Nutella pie and it was one of the greatest desserts I've never had the pleasure of trying again. It was so simple, like a soft flaky dough covered with Nutella."
"I don't want to come out of the blue and ask this kid for his mom's recipe 15 years later so I'll just suffer I suppose." -- JupiterTarts
"Red velvet is literally a red chocolate cake that has nowhere near enough chocolate and to much red food coloring. It literally was invented when done dudes chocolate turned kinda red when he added vinegar to the chocolate cake mix."
"Friends loved the color, but it was finicky to get the red color without changing flavor of cake, so he decided to use red food coloring."
"Fu**ing Avocado Toast.
"Avocado is a buck. Toast is few cents. Avocado Toast is $10+"
And some discussed the things that people insist are fancy and delectable, but are really just run of the mill entirely.
Meat is Meat?
"steak is good, and I'd even say a high quality steak can be very very good. But people act like it's better than busting a nut and that's just not true. It's just meat"
"Lobster. It's good, but poor value given it's almost always the most expensive protein available."
"Plus most places just drown it in butter, which again, fine, but if all you taste is butter, why spend that much?"
Depends on the House
" 'Housemade' ketchup. Give me the damn Heinz and get your banana aoili mess away from me." -- peanutbutterallytime
"I live in Pittsburgh and I have seen multiple restaurants try and fail to make housemade ketchup work. Every single time they go back to Heinz." -- HooBoy401
So if you find yourself tired of hearing people go on and on about something you don't go wild over, know that there are others fuming too.
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It's not easy to always do the right thing.
Which is why most people don't usually do the right thing. Doing the right thing involves a lot of thought, empathy for others, and a self-awareness of your place in the world. You're not making a choice just for yourself, you're more often than not doing it for someone else. This, in itself, presents a difficult hill for most people to climb so, usually, they feel it's easier to make the selfish choice.
Doesn't mean people always do. They can surprise you sometimes.
*The following article contains discussion of suicide/self-harm.
What's the hardest moral decision you've ever had to make?
Even when the choice amounts to something small, it can still matter to someone else.
How Dare You Make Me Morally Astute?!
"This is small potatoes compared to most of the people on this thread but many years ago I was travelling and had very little money. I went to a stall at a market, handed them a 10 dollar bill. Item cost 5 dollars but instead of handing me a five dollar note, the handed me a 50."
"I was walking away from the stall when noticed. My first thought was BONUS. But I had lately been hanging out with a bunch of people who were really into karma. So I stormed back to the stall, slammed the 50 down on the counter and told them off for making me make moral decisions. Lady behind the counter was like "ahhhhhh, thanks"
Didn't Believe The First Time, But Can't Deny Visual Evidence
"I told a co-worker his wife was cheating on him. It ruined our friendship for a good amount of time, until he caught her himself."
"To bad he couldn't just believe you."
Owning Up To The Mistake
"Fessing up to an error I made at work that cost the company 5k. I was a manager and misinterpreted a sales promotion. I almost lost my job, this is the one time that telling the truth actually saved me. It's true what they say that the cover up is usually worse than the crime. Lesson learned.."
Doing something morally correct when it comes to family can be tricky. On one hand, you don't want to ruffle the feathers of the people you're going to be related to for the rest of your life...which is how family works.
On the other hand, do the right thing.
Making The Best Call For Your Children
"Removing the mother of my two sons out of their lives completely as she was unfit and abusive while I was on deployment. They were 3-4 years old then and now they are 17 and 15 with their mother never attempting to come back into their lives which I would prefer at this point."
Because They're Going To Be Sad Later...
"My grandmother died, and I lied to my parents about it."
"My grandparents were 95 and my parents hadn't had a vacation in 30 years. So when she passed away with only 5 days remaining on their vacation, my family decided not to ruin it for them; instead, we'd plan the entire funeral and if my mother wanted to make adjustments when she returned, we'd arrange it for her; there was nothing they could do to get her back."
"Having to decide on the DNR (do not resuscitate) order for my father who had been victim to a massive stroke..."
"I know millions have done it before and millions will again but to me it was devastating....."
"As a health worker, you did the right thing by your father. I've come across families of patients who keep them alive for their own peace of mind while the patient themselves is tired and in alot of pain mentally and physically from the constant treatments and would rather rest from it all. Don't feel bad for your decision."
Never doubt your actions when it comes to protecting children.
"Calling CPS on a student's family after she begged me not to. CPS did an investigation and she was pissed at me for months until the vice principal had a talk with her and explained that I only did it because I care and didn't want her to get hurt."
"That VP is awesome. I sat in his office while he coached me through the call, since it was my first time calling CPS."
Standing Up For Your Friend, Even When No One Else Will
"I was in high school and my best friend was being bullied on the bus. She brought a knife to school and had previously mentioned a list of people. I cried a lot when I went to the principal to turn her in. I knew I was ruining her life but I wanted her to get help. I didn't want anyone to get hurt because we were all just kids. She was expelled and forced into therapy. We had been friends since we were 11."
"My mom listened on the phone line when I was trying to comfort my friend (while absolutely not admitting it was me) and my mom jumped on and told her I'm not allowed to be her friend anymore. I had told my mom I had turned her in and she had no empathy for this girl. Because I had been bullied and stood up for myself and never "did anything like that". My friend was getting cornered on the bus by 4 people whereas I was normally taunted in public and was lucky enough to always have an upperclassmen or school employee around to help me out. I felt guilty about turning her life upside down for many years but would do it again because she did get help."
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/