You think you and your friends throw some good parties? These people will make your most epic rager look like an afternoon of tea and scones with grandma.
Here are the 17 most legendary parties ever thrown. Enjoy! And make sure to check out the sources for even more.
It began as a normal peaceful day on October 17th, 1814 in St. Giles, London. However, trouble had been brewing behind the scenes for quite a while and soon the day would become known as the great London Beer Flood. Industrialization and a rapidly growing London population had led to a sharp rise in the city's production of beer (which was cleaner and safer than water at the time). Beer Barons had begun popping up over the city in fierce competition with each other, and Sir Henry Meux was determined to outdo them all. He created a brewing vat so large that 200 guests could dine inside of it, then filled it with porter liquor. The vat burst and the whole structure began to go, releasing almost 1.5 million litres of beer (approx. 7.5 million frothy pints) flooding into the streets.
The massive tsunami of beer caused at least seven drownings, and total chaos broke out. Attempts to rescue those drowning in beer were thwarted when thousands of people instead started to drink from the streets. An entire neighbourhood became intoxicated and had to make a trip to the hospital soaking in beer. Then the hospital patients began to riot thinking they'd been cheated out of free beer.
Meux was never charged, as the court ruled the flood was an act of God. Probably Dionysus to be specific.
Imagine one of the most powerful Empires on Earth and all the massive wealth and power at its disposal, being run by a spoiled, narcissistic hedonist with the sole desire of throwing parties. Well thats exactly what happened when Nero became Emperor of Rome in 37CE. After the great fire of 64CE destroyed a good portion of Rome, Nero finally had the real estate that he needed to build the party crib of his dreams. Completely ignoring the starving citizens, or the entire empire that he was supposed to be running, Nero took up to possibly 300 acres to build the Domus Aurea (The Golden House.)
In order to entertain himself and his rich friends, he built a vast compound of artificial lakes, manufactured groves and exotic gardens. The winding pathways between the festivities were reportedly kept lit at night by setting Christians on fire.
At the centre was a massive domed building with over 300 rooms, plated with gold on the outside and decorated on the inside with ivory, diamonds and solid marble. Engineering marvels allowed entire rooms to rotate while guests were inside, and there were floors that could catch the light of the sun and project it into other rooms. Historian Suetonius wrote that all the dining rooms had ceilings of fretted ivory, the panels of which could slide back and let a rain of flowers, or of perfume from hidden sprinklers, fall on his guests. Oh, and he had a 116 foot tall statue of himself placed just outside the main entrance.
Eventually the Roman people got sick of Neros opulence and staged a revolt. Nero committed suicide rather than be captured and tried, and his party palace was condemned and filled in with dirt. Archaeologists are still finding new rooms complete with frescoes and artifacts that have gone untouched for centuries.
250 gallons of brandy, 125 gallons of wine, 1400 pounds of sugar, 2500 lemons, 20 gallons of lime juice and 5 pounds of nutmeg. Thats the recipe for the largest cocktail ever created in history, served to over 5,000 sailors and officers by Admiral Edward Russell. Out of appreciation for their service, he poured all the ingredients into his gardens fountain and let them drink their fill.
But this wasn't some low-brow grog chugging affair either, this was an Admiral's party after all. Russell set up a tent above the fountain to prevent evaporation and hired bartenders to serve up the cocktail. Unfortunately the walls of the fountain were too high to make regular service easy, so the bartenders had to paddle around the cocktail in canoes. Even for a bunch of sailors, the concoction still took an entire week to finish.
Showing a total lack of social awareness that would give Nero a run for his money. In 1903 while the people were starving and freezing to death, Tsar Nicholas II and the Empress Alexandra threw the most infamous Russian party this side of the Bolsheviks. In the Winter Palace of St. Petersburg, the theme of the night was a throwback jam to the 17th century. Everyone dressed in the famously opulent style of the Baroque era, complete with musketeers, rapiers and feathered hats. Priceless artifacts were taken from the Kremlin to become accessories for the party goers. The more famous (and arrogant) guests dressed as famous kings and queens, including Nicholas and Alexandra as Tsar Alexis I and Tsaritsa Maria Miloslavskaya.
At the time Nicholas was worth over $20 Billion dollars, which would equal roughly $300 Billion in modern US dollars. Sparing no expense, the entertainment for the evening was a triple billing of some of the greatest Russian operas ever written, performed by the most famous musicians and dancers of the time. Followed by a dinner so large it spilled across three whole rooms while full orchestras played the music of Handel and Bach. At the end of the night formal photographs were taken of the Russian nobility, who were perhaps too drunk on the night to realize what the real cost of the party would be. It was the last time they would all be assembled together to be photographed before the October Revolution.
Novelist Truman Capote swore up and down that one day he would become so rich and famous he'd throw a party no one would ever forget. The time finally came after the release of his classic 1966 true-crime novel In Cold Blood. Left with enough money and time to finally throw his dream party, Capote spent three months planning his masquerade at New York City's famous Plaza Hotel. The ball had a famously strict black and white theme, which was designed so well it was rumoured to be the inspiration for Stanley Kubrick's use of black and white sets in his films.
Not shy to show off, Capote invited all the elites of the day. Royalty, politicians, movie-stars and many, many writers that Capote personally admired were in attendance. Classic southern fare was served up to the guests, along with 450 bottles of notoriously expensive Taittinger champagne. The part finally raged through the night, but finally started to dwindle at 2:45 in the morning when Frank Sinatra left. Capote begged him to stay, knowing that once the crooner left he would be hounded by hungry reporters outside and in the process drag everyone to the impromptu after party at Jilly's Bar.
The party was apparently so incredible that it has been called the last great moment in New York City's social history.
Paul Poiret was one of the most influential fashion designers of all time. Most well known for his modern dress designs that eliminated corsets in favour of using drapery to accentuate figure. By 1911 he was a celebrated Parisian designer set to release his much hyped fragrance, Perfums de Rosine. His marketing strategy? Poiret was going to throw the best party Paris had seen in a long, long time.
Held at his own villa with a Persian theme, all 300 guests and the house itself were decked in colourful, florid style that would make any Sultan envious. Palm trees, tropical birds and lots and lots of gold decorated wall to wall. Poiret's wife Denise took the place of honour, basking on a sofa in a golden cage suspended over the guest and laughing riotously at the patrons.
Imagine one of the most long awaited parties of all time, celebrated simultaneously around the entire world. With the brutality of WWII over, Victory in Europe and Victory in Japan Day saw millions of people flock to city squares in France, UK, US and Russia. People who attended describe a feeling of overwhelming euphoria in the crowd, a chance to finally let loose and celebrate peace after years of watching the world being torn apart.
The party was so intense that Moscow actually managed to run out of liquor entirely and all the free drinks resulted in a vodka pond forming in the street.
Celebrities are known for throwing incredible parties on their birthday, but the party to top them all remains the Sultan of Bruneis 50th birthday bash in 1996. As one of the last absolute monarchs and among the richest people in the world at the time, the Sultan spent 27.2 million dollars on his 10,000 guests.
Starting with a military march and display before treating them to caviar and champagne. The Sultan didn't even attend the entertainment for the evening, a $16 million dollar concert put on by the King of Pop himself, Michael Jackson.
Whenever the Pope died, Italy found itself with a strange dual responsibility thanks to its position as the heart of the Catholic world. While there were days of mourning, the process of selecting a new Pope almost always meant a a serious party was in order. Of particular note was the Papal Conclave of 1667, which had come after a series of long and frustrating papal elections starting in 1644. Tired of all the political manipulating from France and Spain, as well as backstabbing between the cardinals, by the time Clement IX was elected Pope it was time to forget all that and get obliterated.
The city of Rome celebrated the elections at the famous La Fontana Dei Leoni. At the foot of the grand stairs designed by Michelangelo himself, the Renaissance revelers replaced the boring old water that the lion statues spouted with wine. Literal fountains of wine available free of charge to anyone who wanted to dunk their goblet in.
Count Etienne de Beaumont and his wife Edith were renowned throughout Europe and America for throwing some of the greatest parties of the roaring twenties. Every summer they would host an extravagant masquerade party at their mansion in Rue Duroc, Paris. The parties were so exciting that frequent guest Raymond Radiguet wrote an actual novel about them entitled Le Bal due Comte dOrgel.
However, in 1924 they decided to kick it up a notch with an odd and outlandish theme. Everyone had to dress up as cars, which were still a fairly recent invention at the time. Pictures of costumes from the Automotive Ball are still circulating to this day, perhaps only topped by Beaumonts other theme party in which guests were required to leave exposed the body part they deemed most interesting.
Coming from the Old Testament, the story of Belshazzar's feast may have been based on the true to life conquering of Babylon by Cyrus the Great.
According to the story, Belshazzar decided to throw a party for a thousand of his lordly friends in the ancient city of Babylon. Dining on treasures from all around the world, Belshazzar and his friends became so drunk on Babylons famous barley beer that they decided it was a good idea to swap their regular fancy chalices for the sacred golden vessels stolen from the conquered Solomons temple. Why? Because he had them, and he could.
Belshazzar's flippant rager came with serious consequences though, as his kingdom was assailed and conquered that night by Cyrus the Great. With all the leaders of the city too drunk to think straight it was an easy fight, and the much more popular Cyrus took control. Hows that for a hangover?
Andrew Jackson ran his campaign as a man of the people. So it wasn't much of a surprise that after running on a populist platform he threw one of the most memorable inauguration parties in American history.
By the morning he made it to the capitol, 10,000 people had come to witness the event, and by the time he reached the White House at noon the crowd had more than doubled. The 21,000 strong crowd broke the ship cable used to keep them at bay and stormed the lawn of the White House to party.
Jackson had no way to calm the rowdy partygoers down, and had to climb out of a window in order to escape the mob. With no options left, someone suggested placing large tubs of punch and liquor outside the White House to get them to move.
Jackson would go on to have many parties at the White House, which probably made life difficult for his security detail.
One of the most anticipated performances of its time, famed composer Igor Stravinsky premiered his ballet Les Noces (The Wedding) at the Thtre de la Gat in Paris on June 13th, 1923. The premiere was such a success that Stravinsky's rich friends Sara and Gerald Murphy decided to throw a massive party to help him celebrate. So on July 1st, they rented a barge on the Seine river and invited all the coolest people of the time. Pablo Picasso, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Jean Cocteau, Cole Porter and the entire troupe of Ballet Russes were in attendance, enjoying the food of five-star French chefs and an endless river of champagne.
Sara Murphy originally planned to decorate the barge with flowers, but since the florists were closed on the day of the party she instead bought a hoard of toys, stuffed animals and dolls. Picasso decided these would look better in a massive abstract pile while Cocteau convinced partygoers that the ship was sinking and a very drunk Stravinsky jumped through the massive laurel wreath before calling the party the greatest night of his life.
Because peace doesn't mean the end of competition, King Henry VIII of England and Francis I of France celebrated the Anglo-French Treaty of 1514 that ended the Hundred Years War by throwing two massive, rival parties. Although theres no record of how much was spent, the 2200 sheep needed are probably a good indicator of how much the party cost in medieval terms.
Endless jousting, melee and archery competitions kept the crowds entertained while hundreds of tents and even temporary castles were constructed for everyone to stay in. The party lasted seventeen days and ended with a wrestling match between the two kings that reportedly made the blood bad enough to start another war just months later.
Just as Watergate became such a symbol of scandal that everything now ends in -gate, Woodstock has become elevated as the party to which all other American generations compare their parties. In 1969 over half a million people came together on a dairy farm in White Lake, New York for three days of peace and music that would forever leave its legacy on American culture.
First hand accounts describe the miles of overwhelming traffic and abandoned cars on the way to the festival, and it became almost physically impossible to get there.
The entertainment was what everyone was coming to see, and the line up of Jimmy Hendrix, The Who and the Grateful Dead among many others remains legendary to this day. Amazingly, despite a lack of proper hygienic supplies or food and water, no riots broke out among the huge crowd. And only two deaths were recorded at the festival, one from a tractor accident and another from an accidental overdose.
Thousands of iconic photos of Woodstock exist, but perhaps the most famous are those taken during the steady rainstorms that left everyone playing together in the mud.
An annual party since 1924 that only gets better every year. La Sagra DellUva in Marino, Italy celebrates the defeat of the Ottoman navy by local hero Marcantonio Colonna. Patrons like to dress in the Renaissance garb of Colonna's sailors while attending jousting matches and eating ripened grapes hung from fountains. Every balcony door and terrace is strung with garlands of flowers while local shops and restaraunt's hand out free food to partygoers.
The festival lasts from the dawn of one morning to the next, but the event that everyone waits eagerly for happens right at dusk. When the sun hits the horizon the water is drained from the towns Fontana Dei Quattro Mori and replaced with sweet white wine to be enjoyed by everybody. Spending $250,000 on the wine alone, the resulting week long hangover is cured the next Sunday with the well timed donut festival.
While Neros personal pleasure palace might have been impressive, it might have lasted longer if he didn't make everyone feel like there was an amazing party they weren't invited to. In contrast, keeping the public happy was the point of the famous Roman Colosseum. A ten year project completed in 80CE, at the time it was unmatched in scope and complexity. With over 50,000 seats, a covered dome and an intricate engineering system that delivered the entertainment to the stage.
When it was first opened, the celebrations lasted a hundred straight days. A hundred days of liquor, orgies and lots and lots of murder.
In total 9000 animals were killed, and 2000 gladiators died in the opening ceremonies alone. These numbers don't even include the water events staged in the Naumachia outside the stadium. An event in which entire mock naval battles were staged in a giant flooded pool complete with fake shipwrecks for obstacles.
Given how many vivid descriptions of the Colosseums opening survived, its unlikely that a party this intense will be topped for a long, long time.
Sometimes the little things we take for granted are the very things that people from other places wish they had access to. Let’s face it, as far as consumerism Americans are pretty spoiled for choice in what they can do or get ahold of.
Do you want biscuits covered in gravy and a bacon donut on the side at 4am? American diners have you covered. Want to spend $3 on a street hotdog vendor and take a gamble? That’s your right. Even creature comforts like having air conditioning being mainstream is different than most other countries.
When it boils down to it people love the convenience, and if there’s one thing America has become good at, it is providing that to anyone willing to shell out the money for it.
Jimlobster wanted to know what common items or trends in the United States others wished would come to their home country. They asked:
“Non-Americans of Reddit, what is popular in the US that you wish was more popular where you live?”
“I'm from Brazil: Kitchen with island, sinkhole with the garbage disposal, air conditioner everywhere in the house.”
“EDIT: I'm talking about the kitchen sinkhole that you can throw food there without clog the plumbing, in Brazil all the food remainings you have to throw in a bin. It's garbage disposal what I meant, I made a search and made a new edit.” raicorreia
The joy of getting 2am diner food after a night out…Food Eating GIF by Moosh & TwistGiphy
“24/7 diners, I don't know if they actually exist but they sound awesome.” turngre3n
Having a good hot soak…
“Bathtubs apparently. I see them in so many tv shows. Even characters who supposedly aren't well off have a big bathtub in their bathroom.”
“I have not even seen one in real life. I thought maybe some hotels in my country would have them but nope. (Though to be fair I've never stayed in a 5 star or something). Just want to experience bathing in a bathtub once to see what all the fuss is about” vpsj
A good oil’ greasy American breakfast.
“Of what I've seen you guys have breakfast places everywhere and they have a wide selection of stuff like pancakes and donuts, it's not healthy but it sounds great. Most we get in the UK are small cafés or Mcdonalds.” FunniBoii
We add bacon to everything…
“When I moved to the Northwest, all my european friends swore up and down that American desserts and pastries were inferior, that I would have to get sweets imported, and I would miss all the nice bakeries, etc.”
“Immediately when I got here, I was offered a "maple bar with bacon and nuts", and I can never go back. America's pastry game goes hard. I've never had donuts as fluffy and flavorful. 10/10, would recommend.” SentretSparkleypants
Movie theater food…
“A theatre where they serve you actual food (like pizza, not popcorn) inside the theatre, while sitting on a spacious reclining chair with a little mini table. Best experience watching a movie I've ever had and wish it was in my country (Kenya).” Odd_Inflation178
We are spoiled for cereal variety…
“Cereal! We don't have ANY good breakfast cereal in Nepal 😭 Only DUMB Kelloggs cornflakes and chocos. I want those sweet honey nut cheerios, colorful fruit loops, them flavorful cinnamon toast crunch, those amazing looking frosted mini-wheats. Just give us some variety!!” June_53
Accessible street food…
“Street food that doesn't cost ££££. I hate the fact that in the U.K. (esp. London/Birmingham etc.) 99% of street food is deemed to be as pretentious as possible. Just because food is inevitably sprinkled with Parmesan/Truffle Oil/Whatever DOES NOT MEAN its allowed to be charged as much as it is inside a restaurant.”
“No, I don't want a eat a 'secret spices' beef rib from a cardboard box with rosemary salted French fries for £14 in the rain. I'd much rather have a half-decent burrito for £4/5, thanks.” notprotonated
Thift shopping!Thrift Shop Television GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy
“Thrifting, where I live the second hand shop are so rare and it takes hours to get there. Also big mall were there are 20 and more shops, near me(and with near I mean that I have to drive for 1 hour) there is only one, and they only make this kind of malls in the opposite side of my city because the center is untouchable.” Eastern-Honeydew-471
“Mexican food and restaurants. I live in a german town with around 20k people. We have 15 italian (though at least two of them only do delivery), 5 greek, 1 vietnamese, 1 chinese and 5 german restaurants. 4 turkish Döner Kebap stores and 2 greek Pytta Gyros ones, one McD and a Subway.”
“And a load of cafes and sit-down bakeries. Within a 25km radius there is just one mexican 'restaurant'. Which is basically a (fancy and quite expensive) bar that offers a very limited menu with mexican foods and one american Burger-restaurant that has some mexican stuff on its menu every once in a while, but not always.” quietschedalek
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Dream of the sea of lights, of the opportunities, the nightlife, and all of the things you've been dreaming of living in your adult life since you were a kid. Being in a city as an adult can afford you those opportunities.
But oftentimes the city will just afford you more expensive housing with no real way to keep up your standard and quality of life. Unless you make major budget cuts, you might often find yourself at odds with your own city, and growing to dislike it.
Sound familiar to anyone?
It certainly did to Redditor lookinsidemybrain1, who wanted to know:
"What city is overrated?"
Here were some of those answers.
"My best friend is from Philly, I'm from outside of Boston. We both met in Florida when we were teens and bonded over being the only two people who were hockey fans in the mid 80s."
"In 2010 we had a bet for the Flyers/Bruins series. Loser would have to pay for a trip to the winner's city to watch a game in their barn."
"Obviously the Bruins choked away that 3-0 lead and lost the series. So I had to pony up for the trip. My boy tells me he'd rather go to Boston and catch a game there and see the city."
"I said ok but the bet was going to the winner's city and I've never been to Philly. He says 'You don't want to go to Philly, it sucks...even I don't want to go there.' So we went to Boston and had a great time."-sebrebc
The Capital In A Few Ways
"I used to work an ambulance in Jackson, Mississippi. That city is not circling the drain. The water has drained and Jackson is stuck to the tub."
"It is a never ending cycle of poverty, corrupt city officials, fleeing businesses, and crime. Every city administration does nothing but pass blame."
"Some of the most atrocious things I have seen happened in Jackson MS, not 20 miles from my home, and I was in Afghanistan. Every shift was a shooting, an assault, an overdose, a fire standby, homeless and mental health calls."
"Many of the citizens live in absolute squalor. No businesses near them, no grocery stores, no opportunity. They can't afford cars and the public transit it is practically non-existent. You truly do not understand what poverty is until you see it."-[username deleted]
Rio De Goodbye
"Even us Brazilians don't consider going to Rio de Janeiro a good idea, unless you're sure that you know what you're doing (like going to the beaches outside of town)."
"In Brazil, the best places to visit are small towns. Big cities have crime and violence, and it's not safe to just hang around with expensive electronics."
"Brazil has thousands of small paradise places, either beaches, mountains, jungles or whatever. See, for example, Maragogi. Small towns are mostly safe, and 80% of Brazil's cities have less than 20,000 people."
"Hope you have a better experience in the next time."-rubenssm
See any place on this list you're now making a mental note to avoid?
Because Of The Car Industry, Margot
"San Jose. People come here thinking it's the silicon valley expecting to see all kinds of cool advanced stuff but it's just an urban sprawl."
"I know someone who came here from Shanghai and wanted to travel to San Francisco. She asked me why we don't have high speed bullet trains that will take us to the city in like 15 mins. I didn't know what to say."-Live_Mathematician99
"I live in L.A., and every time someone comes out to visit, they want to go to Hollywood to see the touristy stuff. I don't mind indulging them, but a a huge fan of movies and old Hollywood, etc., the real thing is insanely disappointing."
"It's filthy, crowded, smelly, and chock full of shysters and violent homeless people. I totally get going for the sake of going if you're visiting the area, but there are two things you should never do: wander off the main streets or hang around late at night."
"There are a lot of crazies down there who get stabby when the sun goes down."-WickedHello
"Dubai. What most people don't see is the fact that the majority of the city are slums where people don't even have running water."
"I remember visiting my cousin who lived there and while we were at the beach, whole families would use the showers there because they didn't have their own."-Flaky_Sandwich9353
"A photo that is still vividly in my mind is of Dubai. It shows the city boarder and how there are shacks literally on the other side."
"It's insane that UAE is one of the richest counties in the world but a large chunk of their people live in poverty to the extent that their homes do not have walls and ceilings."-CaptainF*ckAll
Let's Run Away....
"Atlantic City: A poor city with a poor population and all of its wealth coming from casinos, and casinos are depressing."-Topazz410
"I had to scroll way too far to see this. I don’t gamble so the casinos weren’t very exciting for me. The beach was pay to play and just a strip of sand with cold brown water."
"The boardwalk was good except it was the same exact merchandise in every 5th shop. We found one good restaurant and ate there daily. Left 2 days before our booking ended."-If_you_ban_me_I_win
And do you see any plans that you had on the back burner now fully making their way up?
The City Of Blues
"I've got such a great Memphis story. I've literally only been there once in my life and only for a couple of hours (aside from driving through it)."
"Over Christmas break 2004, I drove from east Tennessee to Abilene, TX to visit my sister. I drove back on New Year's Eve and at about 2:00am I got to Memphis."
"I decided I wanted to see the Mississippi River as I'd never been there before, so I pulled off the interstate and went to this very closed visitor's center on the river downtown. It's Tennessee, but it's still December, and it's cold. Maybe 40 outside."
"After using the bathroom, I walked down this path outside the visitors center that led along the river. I get maybe 100 yards down this not-illuminated path (again at 2:00am in downtown Memphis) and I notice there are these stairs that lead down toward the river. Awesome, I can see it up close! The stairs end at a tiny bank of dirt and then boom, there's the river."
"I start down these stairs and immediately realize, these are not like 'visitors, give these stairs a try' stairs. They are like 'these have been here for eight years and haven't been maintained in that time' stairs. I get about four stairs down and one of them gives way."
"In a split second, I am now sliding rapidly toward the Mississippi River in 40 degree weather with my flip phone in my pocket and absolutely no person who knows I am here and doing this. I make a mad scramble for anything I can reach for and by whatever providence, I grab a tree limb and stop the slide."
"I was able to get to my feet and realize that my shoes are wet. I was that close to ending up floating away down the Mississippi, probably drowning or freezing to death in the process. I can swim but come on."
"I regained my composure, crawled my way very, very slowly back up the bank, and got back in my car. That was arguably one of the dumbest things I've ever done in my life."-baltinerdist
A Piece Of Da Pisa
"I'm italian. I was planning a trip from the south to the north of Italy to take my car from my hometown to the city where I work, I was asking for advice about the cities to stop in for example Naples, Rome, Bologna, beautiful cities with many things to do and see."
"What about Pisa? Every single person I asked about told me to forget it. It is literally a hole with a crooked tower."
"'You look at it, take your picture and go away, but it's not worth the extra kilometers you would take for that detour.'"-FunnyPromise
No Infrastructure...Yeah, Im Good
"I think of all major American cities Los Angeles is the most overrated. It’s a cool place if you know someone who can show you around all the unique off the beaten path spots."
"But as a wandering, casual tourist who doesn’t have anyone in town you will spend a lot of time in traffic going to OK attractions."
"You're better off going to other California cities or visiting the beautiful nature the state has to offer then go to LA."-Amockdfw89
When looking for a place to live in this next stage of your life...buyer, beware. A city is only as good as it wants to be--so heed the warnings of others who have come before you.
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Have you ever wondered what job people would pick if they knew they'd be financially stable?
Not rich; we're not talking "retire-in-luxury to Buenos Aires" level coin; just comfortable and with growth potential if you're smart about things.
If any job in the world put you at the precipice of stability - what would you *choose* to do?
Reddit user "talldmbfan" asked:
"If you got to pick any career/job and earned $400,000 no matter what, what career/job would you pick?"
Ya know ... a $400k salary sounds like it could be a few smart money choices away from the very serious business of picking just the right pun for my new boat's name or whatever it is rich people do with their time. So let's start there.
What WOULD Reddit do for work if people actually got to choose? Let's find out.
Ranger DangerNational Park California GIF by Ovation TVGiphy
"Park ranger. Specifically at Banff National Park."
"Yeah, I was thinking the same. However, it’s becoming an increasingly dangerous job these days I have heard."
"One the one hand maybe it's just misbehaved tourists who are becoming increasingly obnoxious, and on the other hand hardened, armed criminals trying to do their business in private."
"Criminals like hiding in National Parks, feeding themselves by spotlighting game (whatever they can shoot they will shoot) and using gill nets to catch dozens and dozens of fish."
"Each ranger has a LOT of area to keep under control, it’s not unheard of to pull over a truck and 5+ guys come out, fully armed and it’s just you by yourself until backup arrives."
"Former Ranger here. The job and positions of a Park Ranger vary widely."
"It does have its perks and I really liked it, but it also sucks in ways and has big drawbacks. Humans are the worst animal to have to manage."
Effort And Criticismsacha baron cohen hotel GIFGiphy
"USD 400,000 per year, right? I’d say be a hotel / resort critic."
"That way I get to travel, stay comfortably & get paid for a rather (seemingly) low effort gig."
"I've been in travel positions before, it's pretty fun for a bit but as 'spoiled' as it sounds, hotel and restaurant living get tiring after a while."
"Sometimes it's better to just come home to your loved ones or pet or whatever."
"I did that while I was single. I don't have kids, but I can't imagine being in that type of role when you do."
"Being away from them plus putting the entire burden of raising children on your spouse? Not for me."
"I met a girl several months ago who is a travel journalist and gets paid to do this very thing!"
"While I do get envious of all her comped trips (since I met her several months ago she’s been on fully paid trips to Oaxaca, Curaçao, a couple of luxury Caribbean cruises and had to turn down a trip to the German Christmas markets) I get the impression her job is a lot more stressful than we’d all imagine."
"She says pretty much every minute of each trip is filled with activities she’s expected to write about with very little down time."
"She’s lived all over the world with her job but also never really put down any roots, so that’s a downside. Even so - I enjoy living vicariously through her travels!"
Let's Go LegoAwesome The Lego Movie GIF by TrolliGiphy
"Lego set designer"
"A LEGOland near me just posted a position for a master builder and i was like 'f*ck yeah!' ..."
"except that it pays $12/hour."
"Yeees! This has been my dream job since I was a kid. Only reason I’ve never pursued it is because it doesnt pay well."
"I didn’t even think of that!"
"My cousin and I love legos soooo much, I have that Disney castle set and we are constantly making the most random things. If I became the top set designer, there would be a lot more weird sets lol"
Helping Hoarderskhj GIFGiphy
"The same business I have now. I help the elderly and hoarders organize their homes. I quite a job that payed well and to do this and it is so rewarding."
"A simple tip: To maintain control over a hobby/collectables, designate a space for it. If it overflows that space, it is time to rethink the activity."
"It may mean finding a bigger space, or looking for outdated or unused items for that hobby. This helps to maintain control and keep the hobby from taking over."
"This one sparks joy!"
"I’d love to know more about this. I worry I’m a hoarder sometimes."
"I am not a psychologist so please take this with a grain of salt, but from my experience the term hoarder is often misused. Hopefully this will be helpful to you!"
"I have helped people who have ranged from perfectly normal to people with head trauma. Yes, they can all be categorized as different levels of hoarding, but I try and focus on the reason why they hoard, rather than the term itself."
"Customer 1: was a lady whose house was just a mess. Not disgusting, just nothing was organized. She had a lot going on and was feeling very overwhelmed and her place was taking a turn for the worst."
"She was a bit ashamed and kept indicating how she was a hoarder."
"In the end, over several sessions we cleared out the garage, the living room, the bedrooms, the dining room and never once did she hesitate to throw something away. She wasn't a hoarder, she was overwhelmed. So this was solely situational."
"Customer 2: Another lady, good friend of mine too, very much fit the typical hoarding situation. In her case she was just really bad at putting things away and thus everything ended up, everywhere."
"She still has this problem, but as long as I come over from time to time, stuff gets put away. She has been really good at throwing away or donating items, but she needs someone to sit down with her to help motivate her."
"Customer 3: A gentleman who was my inspiration to get into this business is probably the closest to the true nature of a hoarder."
"He received a blow to the head many years ago due to an accident. Because of that he has had difficulty staying on track. He looses focus frequently and thus things fall to the wayside."
"I go over from time to time to help him clean up. I will make him return stuff he buys when he really does not need it, because he easily becomes distracted. He forgets to return it or that he even bought it."
"I can get him to get rid of stuff, it just takes a good deal of prodding and coaxing."
"In the end, With all my customers I tell them to stop focusing on the negative. Don't worry if your a hoarder, rather spend that mental energy on what you can do to move forward."
"Tip: if you need an idea for a first step, Listen to a podcast or you tube video on organizing."
A Place For PassionNervous Season 6 GIF by Paramount+Giphy
"I’d want to own studio space where people could take classes, not just art or dancing but also like general hobbies to knitting, sculpting, writing, photography."
"I want to help people find a passion and explore it. And I’d be able to support others by paying them to teach their own passion."
"Look into maker spaces or hacker spaces. That literally exactly what they are!"
"I've seen them have facilities and classes ranging from running a cnc machine to beer brewing to programming."
"Membership is typically expensive (50-200 a month) but most give discounts or free membership for teaching classes.
Keep in mind I don't know if they are running with covid."
"There's a place near me called Handmade Toledo that does this!"
"The front of the building is a storefront where local artists, makers, and crafters can sell their stuff (anything from t-shirts and cards to candles and soaps, including snarky greeting cards and patches)."
"The back of the building is an events space where they have classes a few times a week, and a big event once or twice a year where more artisans come and sell their stuff."
Dungeons, Dragons, And Daycare?how to train your dragon smile GIFGiphy
"I would run Dungeons and Dragons campaigns for k-6 graders to teach them about problem solving and conflict negotiation."
"I use D&D to teach conversation strategies and cross-cultural communication to Japanese university students and it’s f*cking great."
"I think every pre-school/lower school should hire you, this is a fantastic idea to implement those values while having fun!"
"One of our friends runs dnd campaigns for kids as a way for them to work through their trauma."
"I don't know all the ins and outs, but it seems to help them. My husband has a 3D printer so he prints their mini figs for them."
OK Go Away NowSeason 5 April GIF by Parks and RecreationGiphy
"I’d like people to enjoy my work, but otherwise forget about me and leave me alone."
"I went to a lecture given by Andy Weir once and he said that writing is a great way to be famous because you’re famous for a few weeks when they make a movie out of your book and you get invited to parties and stuff and it’s a lot of fun, but then you get to go back to civilian life rather quickly because everyone forgets about you pretty fast."
"So you get a taste of the celebrity life every now and then but you’re not stuck in the spotlight all the time like someone in the film or music industries."
"I second this! Reclusive writer would seriously be an awesome job to have and make $400,000 doing."
"A mysterious person that everybody knows by what you do; but whose identity is unknown because all you put are your initials, rather than your full name? Before you know it, you're both the most famous yet unknown person that everybody is talking about."
Here Kitty Kittycat lady cats GIFGiphy
"Cat rescue and rehabilitation. I do it for free when I can, so it would be awesome to be paid for it and have actual resources."
"My family used to do this as well and it was so much fun growing up with up to a dozen cats in a town house at a time."
"Had a friend who co-owned a rescue. It’s good work but man was there so much drama from cat people. Half of her energy was spent managing different crazy personalities who volunteered."
"She ended up stepping down to a smaller role and opening a cat cafe."
Masters With No Moneyshocked oh my GIFGiphy
"Librarian. Let me teach all about and facilitate the free borrowing of books while arranging events and services that help bind and strengthen the community."
"I would do it if librarian pay could support even myself decently. A lot of public service jobs (like librarians and teachers amongst others) do not pay very well and it can be hard to support yourself on such a salary, let alone a family if you want to have one."
"Still, if the issue of being able to live on the salary is taken out of the equation, I would choose to be a librarian every time."
"Oh man, my mom was a librarian and it is a real calling for some and I so love and respect that."
"Librarians are amazing!!!!"
"This was absolutely my first thought as well."
"I was halfway to a master's degree in library science when I did several shadow sessions. Everyone I talked to had gone to school for library science and was working part time shelving books and waiting for a librarian position to open up. Unless I was willing to move, it really didn't seem like a good option."
"It's a profession where the expectation is to have a masters degree and the pay scale for the vast majority of positions does not reflect that."
"I AM a librarian and it would still be my answer for this thread, but you'll often get that because you have to want to do this job to do it for the kinds of pay you can expect."
"I'm just lucky I'm in an academic position rather than public as that tends to set the starting pay a bit higher."
What's Up, Wonka?Animated GIFGiphy
"Ice cream truck driver, but everything is $1 or less. Or maybe running a candy shop."
"While I’m at my mentally draining job, I dream of just being able to make people smile, but I just can’t afford to live on the money that provides."
"There was this man who had an ice-cream truck that went around my neighborhood (I lived near a small park) and he was so nice. He couldn’t speak English well, but he just radiated a warmth around him that can never be bought or sold."
You know what Reddit would do, but what about you? If you had enough money to be comfortable, what job would you happily get up and go do?
Is there a job you wouldn't do even if someone offered you a $400k salary?
What's your labor worth? Let's talk about it, fam.
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We can't explain many people's actions, especially if they are peculiar.
But as long as whatever activity they're engaged in isn't hurting anybody, as well as themselves, who are we to judge?
Ah, but plenty of us will silently be judgy.
Some of the activities unfolding before us can be outright bonkers, and we just have to wonder what makes them do the things they do.
Curious to hear about how others might be perceived in public for doing certain activities, Redditor LordP*yF*ker asked:
"What’s legal but if you do it you still look like a psychopath?"
Why anyone would do the following is anybody's guess, but at least the question was answered.
They've Gotta Latte Nerve
"Going to Starbucks and ordering a milk with ice."
Going Nowhere Fast
"walking backwards in public."
"So I saw this couple walking backwards down the middle of my street and thought 'huh weird.'"
"Looked out the window 1 minute later and there they were again walking backwards in the same spot."
"Went to the kitchen window and again walking backwards, but I had never seen them walk forwards to get back to that position."
"At this point I think I'm stuck in a time loop. I show my roommate to prove I'm not crazy and this time we see them walk forwards back to the top of the street. So we watch them for several cycles just walking forwards, then backwards, up and down the street, just holding casual conversation."
"Figure it must be a workout routine or something but wtf..."
What's Up, Doc?
"Paint yourself orange, dye your hair green, stand in a hole and pretend your a carrot."
Reach For The Sky
"Flying a kite at night."
"Working out in a suit."
"I had a classmate who did phys ed (also) in a suit. He only had suits, about 20 times the very same outfit, including shoes and ties."
Could something more sinister be at work here?
After all, these activities are NOT illegal, right?
Midnight In The Garden Of Evil
"Digging holes in your backyard at night."
"Just doing some night digging."
"Wearing the skin of a roast chicken like a mask."
Here's A Treat
"Offering candies to kids with a van with homemade logos."
"Wearing a wedding gown to someone else's wedding."
"In pakistani culture its perfectly normal to wear your own wedding gown to someone elses wedding. The gowns are very color full and heavily embroidered."
Just because it's a preference doesn't mean you won't get an awkward reaction.
"Pulling your pants/underwear all the way down to pee at a men’s urinal."
"I knew a kid in elementary school who did this. Normally he would use the stalls but one time he did it at the urinal and yelled 'oops I'm not in the stall' then turned and made and held eye contact when I looked cause he yelled."
Look Ma, No Hands
"Eating in public without using your hands at all."
"Like... just face first?"
"Eating a banana with the skin on."
As a subway commuter in Gotham City, I've seen my fair share of crazy on the train.
From unprovoked altercations, to riders taking up precious sitting real estate by spreading their legs wide open, there are many offenses committed by strap-hangers all the time.
My biggest complaint is a common one and it happens as I try to exit the train and my path is blocked by commuters standing on the platform who are simultaneously rushing to get in.
It happened very recently where a guy was standing directly in front of me, and he refused to step out of the way.
I asked him, "so are you just going to stand there?" His choice to stand on solid ground gave me my answer and I aggressively nudged him out of the way with my shoulder.
I didn't have patience for it, because like many of us stepping out of the train, we had places to go.
That being said, I don't highly recommend what I did. As I said earlier, I've seen my fair share of crazy on the train and you never know who you're going to piss off.
I can't wait to be a car-owner again someday.
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