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People Reveal What Would Ruin A Friendship For Them

"Friendship is like a garden. You have to water it, you have to tend to it, you have to care about it, or you lose it."

The garden of friendship is easily soiled, but yet, so many don't take the care and attention for their friendships.


u/Iusedtocarebut asked:

What would ruin a friendship for you?

Here were some of those answers.

All The Lies

Giphy

What would ruin a friendship for me is if someone is being two-faced. I've lost a couple because they wanted to choose when to be my friend and not. I got tired of it. Every time I would say something about anything, they would get mad. I didn't have time for it and I am glad that it's over with.

milotic615

With Great Friendship Comes Great Responsibility

Not taking responsibility when they mess up. I had a friend that had planned on moving into an apartment with me, and the day the security deposit was due he backed out, leaving me without a home. His response was "I'm sorry, but you didn't make me want to move in with you. And I shouldn't be expected to move if it's not best for me. And I never... bla bla bla etc.". Cut off contact with him and I've never regret it.

Another friend and I were planning a trip a few years ago with a group of friends, and we planned on getting one hotel room together. About a month before we were supposed to leave he contacted me and told me he had decided to get a hotel room with the other two guys instead.

I was livid, since according to him they had gotten the room a few months earlier and just hadn't told me. His response was "I'm sorry dude. I was only thinking about my budget, but I should have thought about how this would affect you and your budget too. I'll make sure to do better in the future." We're still good friends today and I'm glad.

The moral is if you're sorry and want to prove you've learned from the experience, you won't tell the other person why what happened isn't your fault. You'll own up to your mistake and work to make sure it doesn't happen again.

Frostlord3

Partying Is Not Caring

When it becomes obvious that they're only pretending to care about you instead of genuinely caring. I've had people who would ghost my messages for weeks at a time, always tell me they were busy but suspiciously always had the time to party. I noped out of that.

ManMan36

The Stress Literally Killed Him

I can tell you what did. I was friends with a husband and wife couple. Over a year and a half period the wife went from social drinking to being drunk at all times, started dating her high school boyfriend behind her husband's back, and took advantage of everyone around her that was friends with them. Husband found out about the boyfriend part and confronted her and she told him, "Then leave me cause I'm not stopping."

They had two kids together and he didn't want to hurt them so he just stayed and sucked it up. Six months later CPS took away their youngest, not long after their oldest was arrested for grand theft auto and drug use and sent to jail (still there as far as I know). I couldn't deal with being tangentially sandblasted by the drama at that point and had to cut it off. Hated doing it and told the husband I'd help him whenever I could but couldn't deal with the wife anymore. He died from a heart attack three months later, I can only assume it was caused by stress.

Galphanore

An Easy Choice

This actually happened. A friend (A) called me and told me that I was probably going to soon hear that he'd been sleeping with the wife of different friend (B) of mine. (A) wanted to see if we'd still be friends because "it just happened" and that the wife wasn't happy anyway.

Yeah, now I have to choose.

I chose the friend who didn't stab a friend in the back, duh.

urbanek2525

It's Become Expectation Rather Than Nicety

The need to constantly one up you and if they can't, they either choose to ignore your success or put you down but expects you to compliment them on their achievements.

When a friend stops appreciating the things you do for them and starts to EXPECT you to do things for them ex: Driving them around, paying for their meals, and etc. I don't think it's very hard to just say "thank you" sometimes???

ruanmylife

Blah Blah Blah Blah

Being a big blabbermouth. Someone who has no idea what they should or shouldn't say to other people. This doesn't just extend to private moments or secrets I may have shared with them, but includes tact and how they should treat other people.

meandyouboth

Projecting

My best friend becoming vegan and getting angry at me everytime I eat meat, despite me supporting her on her new diet/lifestyle or whatever, and also becoming childfree and even though I support her she tells me I'm selfish for wanting kids and seems to be angry that I have one and want more.

Yeah this happened to me. Our friendship abruptly ended and felt more like a breakup.

Anonymous3642

As Long As You're Mine

Constant dependency. We all should have our own lives. I realize how this sounds but I really hate it when people I try to make friends with try to do every little activity together and never go home. Like they try too hard.

My idea of a good friendship is two people having a lot in common and spending their free time together. Planned or not, however, space needs to be established.

Constantly bombarding me with messages about what I'm doing and where I'm at, video links of memes and stupid videos you find funny, or trying to invest all your time and life into being my friend (i.e. copying me, taking all my words to heart, spending every waking moment to hang out with me)

I know a LOT of people see this as a good friendship. But I can't. It will, And has destroyed friendships. The best thing I can ask for is a friend who obviously has something going for them in their life, but fits me into their routine. We dont have to try and make it seem like we're friends, and we dont have to text each other like a fresh couple just to validate our friendship.

KeatonTS

With The Taste Of Your Lips

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Toxicity. Sounds simple, but people can pass by pretty blatant red flags. A 'friend' singling you out and using you as a target for 'teasing' isn't a good person to be around. Don't hang out with people who use you like that, even if you've been friends for a long time. People change, and people can become douches. To whoever's reading this, find people you enjoy being with. Those are actual friends.

FlamexTheCat

Men Who've Gotten A Vasectomy Share Their Experiences

Reddit user GaleNotTheWind asked: 'Men of Reddit who have gotten a vasectomy, what was your experience?'

Pair of scissors
Markus Winkler/Unsplash

According to the Cleveland Clinic, over 50 million men have had a vasectomy.

Although avoiding sexual intercourse is the only effective way to avoid pregnancy, the male birth control procedure still has a low failure rate.

Those who are apprehensive about having a vasectomy fear the following: pain, impact on sex life, effectiveness, and side effects like cancer. (The National Cancer Institute and the American Urological Association have found that the procedure does not increase the risk of prostate cancer).

To seek some reassurance, Redditor GaleNotTheWind asked:

"Men of Reddit who have gotten a vasectomy, what was your experience?"

Guys discuss what happened after the snipping.

Making Sure

"For the love of God, do the follow-up appointment. The last thing you want is to be accidentally playing with a loaded gun."

– sleepypanda59

Wise To Wait

"The paper work I got for mine which was done less than 2 weeks ago said that you could have sex 2-3 days after but... definitely said to wait another few days."

– SisterPhister666

Follow Post-Surgical Procedures Or Else

"Had it done twice while living in Japan no less. Why twice? The first one failed."

"... apparently, so did the second (says my now 6 year old daughter)."

– shoelessmarcelshell

These men found that the procedure itself wasn't a big deal.

Assurance

"I was super anxious, but I had a great procedure. I was more freaked out about the shot of numbing agent to the balls, but it was legit nothing to worry about."

– Reddit

Normal In No Time

"Little operation, blue balls and no wanking for a week, then back to normal but without getting anyone pregnant."

– Bright_Composer_3901

"Made the mistake of having a pop after a couple of days. Jesus, the regret."

– Alante

Best Money Ever Spent

"When I woke up after the anesthesia - yes I asked to be put under, best $55 (after insurance) I ever spent - the caffeine headache I had upon waking was the most painful part. The preoperative instructions were nothing but water the evening before, no water for 4 hours before going under. The Safeway brand cola that the angel aftercare nurse brought me was pure refreshment."

– HarrumphingDuck

Cherry On Top

"Local anesthesia stings for a second or two then all you can feel is tugging after all is done the pain I would describe is like blue balls for like 2 days tops. I took a week off work recommend by doctor since I’m a construction worker and the heavy lifting but I felt like after day 3 I was good to go. Cons: minor pain discomfort, no hanky panky until last semen sample came out clear. Pros: , no unplanned pregnancies(it’s still possible very rarely)."

– Secure_Requirement84

Some final thoughts.

Only Pros

"To me, the only bad part was the smell of the cauterization of my vas deferens.. the procedure was fine. Local anesthesia before and during just felt slight tugging no pain. Recovery was easy. No pain. No cons. Only pros. And if absolutely need be it’s reversible. Much easier and less invasive than a woman getting her tubes tied and significantly less harmful than birth control. I’m an advocate. Get it done!"

– PunchARacist

One Unsettling Thing

"For me, it wasn’t the smell but watching the little puffs of smoke during the cauterization. That was truly and deeply unsettling."

"Otherwise, yeah, nothing major to report. Stayed in bed for a day watching old horror movies and assembling a Lego plant. Pretty much business as usual after that."

– GuestCartographer

The One Constant

"Got a vasectomy, it worked. Got it reversed, that worked.... twice Got another vasectomy...17 years later, all good. Just go to a legit great Dr. I mean top of the field Dr. For ANY messsin around down there. Vasectomy is WAY easier now than 25-30 years ago. In/out in an hour... The only thing that hasn't changed? ... The bag of frozen peas ..😂"

– richwat00

Vasectomies are performed via two methods, the incision vasectomy or a no-scalpel vasectomy, and both use local anesthesia to numb the scrotum.

Always consult a healthcare provider before undergoing the procedure and–most importantly–make sure you don't want to have children or that you and your spouse don't want to add additional family members.

Based on the anecdotes above, there's nothing to fear, so feel free to man up and get to snipping.

gray conveyor between glass frames at nighttime
Tomasz Frankowski on Unsplash

I've always enjoyed a good scare on film and my Mother indulged my preferences as she also loved a good horror film.

While we thoroughly enjoyed a good Disney movie together, I was also allowed to watch Jaws, The Exorcist and The Omen before I was 10 years old.

Slashers and sci-fi frights were good, but to me the most effective scares involved nightmarish scenarios that might easily happen in the not so distant future.

For me, growing up Roman Catholic meant demonic possession and the AntiChrist were on the list of plausible fears.

But what films offered possible Hellscapes for others?

Keep reading...Show less
wedding bands on dictionary
Sandy Millar on Unsplash

Infidelity in marriages isn't as widespread as people think. While some cynics would have us believe faithful partners are scarce, they account for over 4 out of 5 spouses.

Still, 16% of married couples in the United States admitted to being unfaithful at some point in their marriage.

And 57% of divorces were due to cheating.

In marriages where infidelity occurs, but doesn't result in divorce, the loss of trust is still a problem. It can make emotional and physical intimacy challenging.

So why do people cheat instead of ending their relationship before moving on?

Keep reading...Show less
shallow photography of man hugging woman outdoors
Photo by freestocks on Unsplash

When it comes to flirting, everyone has their preferences of how they like to be flirted with. Some people like cleverly crafted pickup lines.

I always thought pickup lines were a cheap way to get someone's attention. That being said, there are some good ones out there. I've been on the receiving end of both. "On a scale from one to America, how free are you tonight?" and, "You must be the square root of two because I feel irrational around you."

Both got me to engage in conversation, and I even dated the guy who used the first one for a while.

I'm not the only one that knows some good pickup lines. Redditors have both heard and used some pickup lines and are eager to share their favorites.

It all started when Redditor Sauce_Dealer420 asked:

"What's the best pickup line of all time?"

Read It And See

"You put the sexy in dyslexic."

– koookyko

"This made me laugh so hard."

"Because I can read properly."

– TappedIn2111

I'm Hooked

"This girl I used to work with and I went to a bar after work and we’re having fun, and she leans over to tell me a joke. And she says:"

"Three boy mice and a girl mouse were all stuck in a room with no doors and no windows. One of the boy mice asked the girl mouse how to get out and she said, “Sleep with me tonight, and I’ll tell you in the morning.""

"The next day, he is gone. The second boy mouse asks the girl mouse how he got out and she says, “Sleep with me tonight, and I’ll tell you in the morning.""

"Next day, he’s gone too."

"So now the girl telling me this joke says to me, “Do you want to know how the last mouse gets out of the box?”

"And I say “yes.""

"And she says, “Sleep with ME tonight, and I’ll tell you in the morning”. All this while staring me in the eyes and smiling."

"I said, “Check please bartender!!""

"I forgot to ask her in the morning, but that was the best pickup line I’ve ever heard."

– reb678

Statistics

"The odds we sleep together are 50% because half of us agree so far."

– AlfheimKitteh

"Math is always super sexy."

– Acceptable-News-6811

Money, Money, Money

"Hey girl, are you the English financial system? Because I'm about to give you a weak pound."

– onemanwolfpack21

"Yo girl, do you know exchange rates? Because Euro 10."

– kkirchhoff

Winner, Winner

""Are you a magician? Cuz every time I look at you, everyone else disappears.""

"This line got me a wife and three kids. 😊"

– PRSHZ

One Liners

"Are you a beaver? Cuz damn."

– Starry_Night-

"If you were a fruit you'd be a fineapple."

– Slainna

"Hi, do you want to go for a ride on a Harley?"

"(My name is Harley) 😁"

– OMNIxvTRIX

No Losers

"If I asked you for a date would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this question?"

– SchemePale6222

"I got blue screen in my head."

"Explain please."

– TastyToothpasta

"You can't lose. Say no, the answer is yes. Say yes, the answer is also yes."

"Dang sounds kinda creepy writing it out like that. Still clever wordplay though."

– Steeze_Schralper6968

Clever

"My go-to was always:"

"I used to be a history teacher, so I know lots of important dates. Want to help me make another one?"

"A little corny, but it usually worked."

– StuffToday

Refreshing

"That one actually worked with my ex on the first try."

"-Hey, do you like water?"

"-Yes."

"-Then you like me in 70% already."

– azurskyy

Sneaky

"Would you date a complete stranger?"

"If she says “yes” you’re in."

If she says “no.”

“Then allow me to introduce myself.”"

– Blastspark01

Playing Coy

"Once a girl came to me and told there was somebody who thought I was cute."

"I asked her who and she said “Me.""

– evil_boy4life

Prop Lines

"You have to have a handful of limes available to do this:"

"Hold the limes, drop the limes in front of the lucky person. Then say 'Sorry, I'm not very good at pick up limes.'"

– cannibalcats

Egg-cellent

"Best one that worked for me was:"

"Me: How do you like your eggs?"

"Her: Over easy, why?"

"Me: Just making sure I have things right for when I make you breakfast in the morning."

– Radiant_Boss4342

The Best Line

"How you doin?"

– 2x4x93

"There was a time when this was the ONLY line you could use!"

– JohnsLong_Silver

That line would definitely work on me!