Unfortunately, friends don't always stay friends forever.
Sometimes, toxic behaviors build up to a point where you may find it hard to stomach being in the same room as them.
Often, you might explode and cut them off. We all have a breaking point. Sadly, sometimes those friends reach it.
u/milkman1000 asked:
What's a moment with a friend where you just had ENOUGH of their bullsh*t?
Here were some of those answers.
Truly A Jerk 5000x Over
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You know that friend? The one who asks you for favors and you're happy to oblige because that's what friends do?
Yeah... I asked him for a favor, after dropping my plans numerous times to help him. He agrees, we make plans.
He conveniently forgets. No big deal.
Ffwd a few months, I've helped him a few more times, I ask him to help me move a shelf from my garage to my living room the following weekend. He says sure, I confirm plans a few times with him as the week progresses, friendly reminders "We're still on for this weekend right?" Kinda thing. To which he agrees. The following weekend arrives, I text him saying LMK when you are on the way. No response.
Day moves into evening, I call him and hear "nah man, maybe tomorrow, I got plans with the GF for dinner tonight with her family" Okay. Tomorrow arrives, text again and get the response that he's helping his GFs family do something. Okay... sure, "let me know when you're done" His reply is that itl'l take all day. Work up motivation to attempt moving it myself and get on Facebook to see that he just posted something.
His post: "I'm bored, anyone down to hang out?"
I commented:"you could help me like we planned"
He deleted the post and I never heard from him again... I never tried calling him either. That's when I decided not to help others that wont do the same for me.
Nicer Friends, Nicer Me
I had a friend in middle school who was always kind of a dick, but that's what you did in middle school right? You were mean to each other. Well, high-school rolled by and he ended up staying out of school for chronic headaches. We still played Xbox Live a lot, and he was one of my most consistent people I played video games with. Still kind of a dick, but we were close and hung out a lot when I got a car and could come visit him after school and on the weekends.
College rolls around, and I ended up having a lot less time to play video games. Soul Calibur V comes out, and he ends up getting really pissy because I only played Nightmare, because frankly he was way better at the game than I was because he was still living at home playing video games all day, and Nightmare was the only character I had a chance with.
This was sophomore year of college, and I think it was at that point that I realized we had just grown way too far apart. I had grown up a lot in college, and he was still stuck in middle school mode of sh*tting on your friends as a primary source of interaction. It was when I started making friends in college that I realized that not all friendships needed to be that mean.
Lazy Jerks
Friend wanted help to move to a new apartment. He arranged for movers to move the furniture , but wanted me and my van to move some stuff he considered too "fragile" for the movers.
My job was very busy and I tried to get out of it, but he and his wife begged and cajoled. Okay... I worked a double shift on Friday to get Saturday off, and turned up Saturday morning to help. My friends were still asleep in bed. They hadn't packed anything and the movers were coming in 3 hours. Oh. they're also unemployed and had plenty of time to pack, but were just too f*cking lazy.
So I spent 3 hours helping them pack all their sh*t in boxes . When that's done, I spend the next 8 hours carrying and loading stuff into my van, drive 20 miles to the new place and unload.... 3 van- loads.
Eventually it dawns on me their sh*t is not fragile, its ordinary household stuff. They just used me as free labour.
The movers charged by the hour and had a big truck that they didn't fill. They had the room and the manpower , and could have easily loaded up all the stuff I moved and drove... for $100 extra.
I calculate my 12 hours of work, 150 miles of driving (includes driving to the friends house) saved my useless cheap-*ss friend about $100. He didn't pay for gas, or food or anything. Totally f*cking useless tool and I never helped him out again.
Bye Felicia, Hello Felicity
This was years ago before Uber was a thing. I had a very toxic best friend who was constantly making terrible and irresponsible decisions. It was her 21st birthday and I offered to be the DD because I don't drink. She told me no and that her boyfriend would drive us home. Long story short, she encouraged him to get wasted and I ended up stranded in Hollywood. Thankfully, I had just befriended this awesome new girl and called her for a ride home at 2am. This new girl became family and just stood beside me in my wedding last month. One door closed, another opened.
I'm Not Your Emotional Receptacle Friend
When I realized I was their 'fallback' friend. Whenever they pushed others away they'd come to me and act like they were a close friend, even though they ignored me or treated me poorly whenever I tried to initiate conversation before. I don't know why I put up with it so long, but I eventually cut off contact. It's dumb but I still hope they're okay- they had a rough background, but at the same time I was sick of being toyed with. I feel like they used me because they knew I had low self-esteem and they could manipulate that. And for a long while they did. Again- they had a rough life, and I wish them the best- but it got to a point where I couldn't take it anymore.
The Vacation Is What Killed Us
Horrible toxic friend who only ever talked about herself. She constantly complained about every aspect of her life. I knew WAY too much about her marriage. She and her husband both had drinking problems, but she just talked sh*t about him and his drinking all the time to anyone who would listen and constantly berated him no matter who was around. Friends, strangers, people they had just met that day, it didn't matter.
Made the mistake of going on a group vacation with them. By the end, I never wanted to see either of them again. And I didn't.
Tall But Also Prejudiced
I had a friend who was obsessed with height. He would constantly bring up how tall he was in comparison to other people, and gleefully point out shortness in others (his fixation on this, and the way he took in social cues made me suspect he had some level of Asperger's, but I digress).
I have dwarfism, so I'm only 4ft tall. And this guy loved that. He would point out times when I looked particularly short, or when I would struggle to do something because of my height. It was just this tone deaf thing he would do, and my friends and I just kinda ignored it.
There was one time when he picked me up without warning as a joke, and I made it very clear how much I hated it when people do that. It felt like a disregard of my autonomy, and I asked him firmly to never do it again.
Then one day, we had class, and the classroom it was in had changed. I hadn't been told this, so I was on my way to the wrong place, walking along the main busy corridor, when my friend came up behind me, yanked me off my feet and started carrying me, and said "Oh no you don't!" Everyone was staring, and I felt humiliated. I twisted around until he dropped me and just lost my shit at him right there.
I think that is honestly one of the only times I've lost my temper and actually yelled. I'm not an angry person, but on that day, I was livid.
He just thought it was funny, so that was it. He wasn't my friend after that. It has been 6 years now.
Just A Simple Rude Gesture
He was a "sometimes" friend.
He'd only text if his other friends that he was closer with were busy and he was bored. I'd invite him to stuff and he would say "maybe" because he was always looking for something else to do that was "better" and then if he couldn't find anything he would come.
I was fine with it for a long time because it's not like we were super close or anything. But what pushed me over the edge was the he got legit mad at me for not playing a video game with him because he was bored and I told him I simply didn't wanna play the game he was playing. He said "Good luck getting me to play with you in the future".
I replied "K" and haven't talked to him since.
Degrading Jerks Too
In high school, my friend always claimed to sleep with so many women. He would point at random hot girls in public and be like "yeah that's Amanda, I slept with her", and I would just have to take his word for it. It was always at convenient times like when we are pulling away on a bus or train while she is outside so the random girls could never verify the account. One day we were standing on a train platform and he pulls this shit again and points at a random hot girl, "that's Becky. She goes to my high school, we slept together".
I was having no more of this shit. "Well let's go say hi!" I said to my friend as I started walking in her direction. That's when my friend suddenly becomes panicked and is trying to stop me frantically. I continue on, "Becky hi! I'm *****'s friend", as I point to my friend who is beet red with embarrassment. This girl stares at us in utter confusion, "my name isn't Becky...who are you guys?" I just said, "thank you, that will be all." My pal swears to this day that he just made a mistake and only thought that she was his friend. But he stopped doing it.
The Best Revenge Is A Life Well Lived
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We worked together. My husband herniated a disc in his neck. When I told her I had to leave to take him to the ER because he couldn't drive he was in so much pain, she got mad at me and said "Do you know the position that leaves me in? We're not supposed to be by ourselves." We answer phones all day, other people were there that could help.
She said the only way I could leave was if I called our boss (who was on vacation, and I was already working it out with the person in charge that day) and ask if I could leave to take him to the ER. Mind you, she took off at least one day every other week, without notice, to go get shots for her "back issues." Now, someone who has back issues should know good and damn well how painful and possibly serious a herniated disc can be. Needless to say, we are no longer friends, she got fired for her bs 5 days later (it wasn't the first time, she had apparently been causing issues before I started and I had no idea). I am now a manager at the company in the position she wanted.
What is a moment where you'd had enough of a friend's BS?
Try not to follow the bad advice given here, because you don't want to get the results that these guys did.
U/Duckerton375 asked: What's the worst advice someone ever gave you, but you still followed?
The workplace can bring a cornucopia of terrible advice. Don’t follow these unless you want to get fired.
​Bad jobs are usually not worth it.
Stick with a job no matter how bad it is. I stayed with a terrible job working retail, dealing with horrible customers and sexual harassment. I was told I wouldn't find anything better.
"No, no, you misunderstand. I said you wouldn't find anything better at making you feel like complete garbage."
This gets really creepy really fast.
frustrated workplace GIFGiphy"After you put in a job application, you need to call them at least once a day every day until they hire you."
Note: this did not get me hired. It got me called out by the HR person I was calling and forbidden to ever contact their facility again.
I work for a law firm that employees over 1500 people in the home office alone. Once I received a call from the building security saying, "Insert Name is here to speak with the owner." Well we are run by a committee so that's odd. Found out they just applied for a job and wanted to talk directly to the person that would potentially hire them. Told him the firm will contact them to schedule an interview. They refused to leave without "talking to the owner." Had security escort them out of the building.
​This is absolutely not true.
"Sleep is for people who do not want success" great words from my uncle, it almost killed me.
Now I may be oversleeping.
​Interpersonal relationships are also a big breeding ground for terrible advice. Don’t listen to any of these.
Heartbreaking.
My father always tought me and my brother that "having friends is bad and in the end they will never be there for you" so everytime I told my father about my friends he would get kinda mad and give me the advice to stop talking to them.
Now I am afraid of people and have several trust issues, thanks dad.
​This won’t end well.
A Christmas Story GIF by filmeditorGiphyIn the fifth grade my teacher was talking about bullying, then she said "if anyone tries to bully you just agree with them." So the next time I got bullied I agreed with the bully and they bullied me more.
Dude one time I saw an anti bullying video that told the victims to just BE NICE TO THE BULLY. Like the bully was hurling insults and the victim was smiling and complimenting him. My first thought was about how much I hated the mere thought that this would work. My second thought was of how the people who came up with that method had clearly never been bullied.
​Oof.
When I met my now wife at the age of 19, one of my coworkers said that it's very important to start at the bottom with presents and work your way up, she still has the socks I gave her on our first anniversary on the wall over our bed as a reminder...
I'm still trying to teach my boyfriend about good presents and bad presents. Biscuits from the supermarket = bad present. Cheap unbranded laptop battery from China as my only present = bad present (and only lasted 2 months). Anything off my 7-page wishlist = good present. It's literally a list of things I want to receive as presents.
​Can tell you from experience that this is a bad idea.
Had a falling out with some friends. My husband recommended I reach out to an old friend who ghosted me suddenly in a manner that induced some pretty severe abandonment trauma. Went for it anyways because "it's been so long, surely they changed". Am now experiencing the same things as last time.
When you follow bad advice, it can lead to mistakes that you just can’t come back from.​
Buying a house is tricky.
for sale dancing GIF by Lisa VertudachesGiphy"Buy a home now before the prices go up!" -my FIL in 2006.
We bought in 2007 and paid $259,500 for our 1,300 sq ft house (we really couldn't afford it and had an 80/20 so we had 8% interest for one loan and 6% on the other) and in 2008 it was worth $97,000 so refinancing wasn't even an option. We watched all of our neighbors walk away or get foreclosed on but we kept paying our bills and as of this very moment our house is worth $462,000. I'm so happy we stuck it out, we both worked our @sses off and the house will be paid off in 2 years.
It worked out for us, it's a horrible idea. Especially since 1300 sq ft houses are $460+k
My heartbreaks for future generations, I honestly don't know how people are going to afford housing in the future.
It’s there for a reason.
"Never apply for any government assistance."
Cue years of suffering trying to work full-time with a painful disability. Quit a particularly terrible job, and wanted to apply for food aid until I could find another gig; a friend with lots of DHS experience recommended I apply for Social Security "just to get in the system." Turns out my disability was bad enough to get accepted the first time, which I wasn't expecting. Really could've used that support, oh, the 30+ previous years of my life.
Credit is important to have.
I was told to not get a credit card until after college. I was super fortunate to have my college paid for so I had no loans, car paid in cash, no credit card or anything to start building credit. Found myself out in the world at 22 years old with a credit score of 0.
So while a lot of this bad advice came from trusted people, oftentimes they were too misinformed to give that advice in the first place. Don't trust the word of one person--do your research, and make decisions for yourself.
It'll be way better in the long run