Not having to earn a living through work is quite the luxury. You've only ever done small, non-demanding jobs and now yuo need a serious one. That can be quite the life shift. One Redditor Orbmave has had to face this experience and she needs help dealing. She wrote... Hey, Sorry if this is rambling and weird, Im having a rough time.
This all sounds so stupid and first worldly but I am seriously struggling. Im in my 30's and have been spoiled much of my life. I was the youngest of my family. While I was a child we were poor but then my dad made a career change and we were suddenly doing quite well. I had no obligations or expectations on me. I see as an adult that I was neglected a bit. I think my parents were done raising kids before I came along.
As I was a good kid as a teenager, didn't do great in school but I didn't cause my parents many headaches. I was never punished for anything though. Bad grades? Broke a window? Supposed to clean my room but didn't? Just "don't do it again." And I'd just get the same words next time it happened.
I had a few jobs as a young adult. Cashier at Target then later data entry at a mortgage loan firm. I only worked at Target for a month and the firm for three. So even that experience is small and kind of sad.
At 21 I left my job at the firm to marry my husband and move with him to Canada. He's in the Navy so for the next 12ish years we've moved around while I was a stay at home wife. We didn't want kids so it was easy to afford our lives without me working. I'm not blaming my husband for spoiling me in that way but I wish now that we had made different decisions.
Now my husband has retired after 20 years and we've moved back home near my family. His retirement pay is alright but extra would lessen the burden. He's been looking but hasn't found anything yet.
I got a job as cashier/stocker at a local small grocery and I hate it so much. I get this terrible tightness in my stomach/chest just thinking about having to work tomorrow. I feel like puking and crying all the time. I just flatten out and can barely have a conversation with my husband when i get home. The job is totally fine, everyone is nice and its pretty laid back but it's so difficult for me to handle. I feel like such an idiot and a child that I can't do what everyone else does almost every day of their lives. My husband tells me he's so proud that I got a job but it hurts so much just hearing that. How can anyone be proud of this? I don't want to disappoint him by quitting. I don't want to quit because I worry I'll never get another job if I do that. He tells me to talk to a therapist but when do I do that? There's no time for anything! I get home and have to recover for like 3 hours then I might have an hour or two where I feel normal but then I start worrying about having to go back the next day.
What do I do? Is this anxiety? Depression? Does everyone else feel this way? My whole body hurts with the stress. I haven't even worked there very long. He keeps saying itll get better. How is that even possible? Will this feeling just go away in a few weeks? I don't know what to do.
Thanks for listening. I have to go to work and writing this was a good distraction. I'll reply when I get home.
Well people... thoughts?
Doing what you gotta do...Giphy
Your experience sounds like something similar to what my wife has gone through recently. She worked to support herself for many years, but when she and I got married, it turned out that the money I was bringing in was able to cover our respective expenses comfortably, so she did not have to work if she did not want to. She decided to stop working at a job and instead focus on other things; that was nearly 15 years ago.
Recently, for reasons that are unimportant to the conversation, we have had some unexpected expenses come into our lives, and my paycheck was no longer enough to cover everything. So she went out looking, and found a job a couple of months ago. And she hates it. Just as you hate yours. She has the same dread each evening, thinking about the fact that she has to go to work tomorrow. She has the same frustration that there's no time (it seems) to do anything but work any more.
I don't believe that in her case it's anxiety or depression; I believe it's simply the stress that comes from adjusting from a lifestyle that one has lived for many years into a new one that is substantially different.
I can't say for certain that it will get better, though it has, somewhat, for my wife; you and she are different people. But once she got into the groove of going to bed earlier, and getting up earlier, and going to the office and doing whatever it is that she does, it at least became regular, instead of seeming like an intrusion every day on what her normal routine was. That may happen for you as well.
I don't know whether that will help you or not, but I wanted to post it so that you would know that at least you are not the only one who is having a similar experience.
In my wife's case, it helps her to focus, not on the job itself, but on the end goal that the job is helping her and us to work toward; carrying a heavy sack of concrete really sucks, and if you are focused on nothing but the weight of the concrete all day, it's nothing but drudgery. If instead, however, you focus on the temple you are building with that concrete, and how beautiful it is going to be when you are done, the weight (though not less) can be more fulfilling.
Do not think of each day as "I have to go to work"; try to think of it as "I am helping my husband and myself have a more secure financial future."
Depression is everywhere.
Situational depression is a thing and needs be taken seriously. You really should make time to see a doctor about how you are feeling. Make an appointment and let your job know not to schedule you for that time. They won't mind if you let them know before the make that week's schedule.
Thank you so much for writing this. My mom has gone through a similar situation, SAHM for 20 years then suddenly back working, and has stressed over it constantly. I had been attributing it to some undiagnosed anxiety, but you've made me consider that I may be being unfair to her. If I could ask, how long did it take for your wife to start feeling better about her job?
You are going through a massive crisis because of significant changes in your life. It is perfectly normal, and you will get used to it in time. Most people don't feel quite as bad about working because they have gotten used to it. But a lot of people feel like that e.g. on Sunday nights when the dreaded workweek is ahead again. Talking to a therapist would probably help. But developing skills will help too.
Your time used to be yours and you could do whatever you wanted with it. Now, with someone else dictating how to spend the most of your day, it has become a precious commodity, and you need to get much better in using it and organising it. You say you have no time for anything, but you have three hours to recover after work! That is loads of time. What did you use to do when you didn't work? What did you enjoy? Go back to those hobbies and schedule them in to your week. Make clear time slots for them so that after work you have something fun to look forward to and life isn't just about work. Even if you feel tired at first, make yourself do what used to be normal.
I would also recommend scheduling in something fun for first thing in the morning, e.g. exercise. That way when you wake up, it's not "oh no, I have to go to work," but you actually have an hour of something enjoyable to do before the 'getting ready for work' starts. Running is the easy one, because you can just get your kit ready in the evening, throw it on and be out the door in five minutes enjoying the sunshine - or the rain.
Building a weekly schedule for everything will help anyway and there are all sorts of cool organisers and youtube videos on how to do that. The benefits are: you will get stuff done, you have a record of what you've been doing and you can see it's not all work, and you have things to look forward to - and you can achieve things because you have a plan for them.
Talking of achieving, you have decades of work ahead, so it is probably best to start thinking about getting an education and an interesting job in something you actually like. If you have no idea what you're interested in, sample lots of different courses online, e.g. on coursera, go to the library and browse books, read blogs and watch videos. Take your time and keep your mind open. I guarantee you that eventually you will find something that makes you excited and wanting to learn more. Then build that learning into your weekly schedule. It doesn't have to be a degree, it might e.g. be a special skill that helps you set up your own business.
You are going through a massive life change, and possibly the first big challenge in your life. It is scary, it is exhausting, you will often have no clue what to do. But if you keep your mind open, get curious and are willing to learn, anything can happen and you can become anything you like. I believe in you!
Run Forest! Run!Giphy
Fun might be the wrong word, but I love my morning runs because as an introvert they're my truly alone time. I get up at 5 in the morning so that I can run before work, and it's so valuable to me to be able to spend half an hour or so just cruising along lost in my own thoughts. Hardly anyone else is out that early so it's just uninterrupted peace and quiet.
But I recognize that it's not worth it for a lot of people!
This is a good idea, just do something you think you will enjoy, whatever it is. I get up between 4 and 4:30 am. I used to get up to an alarm at 6am do all the things to get going and head off to work, sometimes earlier if it was gym day, hated it. Around five months or so ago, one of my dogs became sick and started getting me up at all hours. He has improved on sleeping until 4 or so, but still gets me up. He is in hospice, so now I get up, take him out, feed all of them and then sit on the couch with my morning tea and breakfast for more than an hour reading Reddit with him in my lap. It makes my days so much better, even with not getting as much sleep. Turns out, I really need the slow mornings to make my life happier. I like my job, I really like the people I work with, but given a choice, I'd rather stay home.
Think about what you might enjoy doing, possibly got to school for it. One thing I've noticed is the more white collar and higher in an organization the more flexibility you tend to have in your work life. It's not fair, but reality. I can pretty much set my own hours within reason, but the receptionist or admin assistants can't. You might want to find a position that lets you work from home sometimes, which helps me a lot.
I'll say this: Going to work sucks. I've been working full time everyday for the last 12 years and I'm no closer to a house, or anything. (Don't get me wrong, I have savings but houses are literally 1.5m+ in my city so unless my partner gets his stuff together we won't be buying anytime soon - and that's another story...). Recently, I've had a lot of co-workers, who I've known for years, move on. To new jobs or new locations. I'm the only one left in my section. So, obviously my job, after 12 years, is no longer mentally stimulating. I do enjoy what I do (customer service/helping others) but I can do that with my eyes closed. 90% of my motivation, the co-workers who became my friends, are gone. I'm dealing with a bunch of new people I have no connection with. And hey, added bonus, the pay is still pretty low. (It was worth it for how much I enjoyed being there previously). I used to wake up excited to go to work. Now, all of a sudden, I feel exactly the same as you do. Anxious, de-motivated, and generally pissed off.
I know how you feel. It's because you don't want to do it. You don't want to sacrifice 8 hours (+/-) of your day having to do something tedious to earn a few bucks. You, having tasted what freedom feels like, and being able to do whatever you want, and relax at home, probably resent the fact that you are being forced into this position, this environment where you can't do what you want. I've been a little spoiled (work was fun for me for a long time), so I get it. I hope I haven't rambled on too much about my own issues with work but I really feel what you are saying. You are not alone.
See a therapist. Try to change your mindset. Try to not think and just do. Don't feel like you are forced to go in, make it your choice to go in. Try to look for the positives in your job. Customer service can be tough, but it is also rewarding. Think of your husband. Do it for him if you find you can't for yourself. And there are options: Perhaps look for another job you can relax a little more at - maybe a job where you can work from home would suit you better (that's what I dream of!). Good luck.
I'm in a similar position. I escaped retail/service and was working towards becoming a tradesman. I got started later than all my peers, and was fully 15-18 years older than my work mates. But I was hanging on and doing well. And the work was brutal, exhausting, terrible labor. But I was learning a lot, and having a great time, and at no time did a customer ever come up and be an a-hole and ruin my day.
And then, for the third time in my life, I blew out one of my knees.. well having been through it before I figured "I got this." So I put on of my old braces on, and went back to work.. but it got worse, and worse, and worse (yes I know this is all my fault from not seeking medical help). Until it got to the point it is now, where I hobble around and can't do much of anything.
I sit here.. knowing that there was a good life ahead of me, but that opportunity is gone now, and I sit depressed completely out of money, behind on bills, and trying to get myself to apply to these crap jobs, that make me think I'd rather jump off a bridge, than serve another customer coffee, or bag their groceries or whatever.
I've tried leveraging the construction/trade experience into some sort of maintenance position or custodial, but all it takes is for them to see how I walk when I come into the interview, and the interview is over at that point.
Hell I even had a grocery store give me an interview, and when they saw me walk in, looked at my legs (obvious I have bracers on under the pants), and said "ok well thanks for coming in, but we don't really have anything for you."
I hear ya. I have only been working for a little over a decade but I've hated every minute of it. My life is whatever I can piece together with the tiny fragments of time left after all of my 'responsibilities'. And it will never end. I will always need car maintenance, groceries, laundry, bills, the only thing that keeps me going is the hope for a brighter future. If it were the 1800's and there was no technological progress I would have killed myself by now. Not in a dramatic emotional way, just like oh this is what existence is, no thank you I'm not interested. It's not getting easier, as time goes on I just lose a little more of myself and get a little more numb. I worry that if my life ever does get better there won't be anything left inside of me to care.
There is better out there!Giphy
Girl this is just what it's like to have a crappy job. It doesn't mean you'll feel this way about EVERY job. But yeah, minimum wage, unskilled jobs often cause a lot of people to feel this way.
Why don't you try figuring out something you might enjoy doing? Or working part time until you do?
What's up Doc?Giphy
I know someone like this.
He has major anxiety surrounding adulthood. Super smart, fundamentally kind, but absolutely terrified of being a grown-up. He has admitted that if he could spend forever in his childhood bedroom with nothing heavier on his plate than cleaning his room and doing homework, he would do it. Adulthood just scares the crap out of him. For some reason, the idea of working and paying bills and doing taxes and generally just being responsible for himself for the rest of his life overwhelms him. And it's not because he was spoiled - his parents had high expectations and he did very well in school. He's just had anxiety his whole life and this is how it chose to sabotage him.
He is in therapy and on meds. It helps enough that he can hold down a low-stress, part-time job. He's not to the point where he can handle full-time work or living on his own, but that is the goal. You're not going to improve without help. Don't be afraid to ask for it.
I'm similar. Severe anxiety, very much overwhelmed by the daily realities of making in a living in this world. What made it worse was the fact that I did not have a full-time job until I was 28, because I lost most of my 20s to mental illness and wasn't stable enough to keep a job. And starting so late, when everyone else around me - YOUNGER than me - was already accustomed to the demands of daily work was humiliating, grueling, and overwhelming.
It took 4 long years and nearly a second mental breakdown before I said F**K IT to the big city rat race and moved to a smaller town in a different part of the province.
I'm doing much better now. I'm in a different line of work that I actually like. The cost of living is 25% lower. I found a family-oriented company that actually cares about its employees and wants them to have a life outside of work. The dread still sets in every Sunday night, and I find myself desperately waiting for Friday every week... but I make it through, and I work hard.
The only lingering thing that pesters me is the fact that I cannot make my own work hours and build work around my life instead of the other way around. But that's the way it is for most everyone. You hand over your time to someone else. That's what makes me dread Mondays. That, and the nagging fear that I will regress into not being able to hold a job again, but that's another story.
OP should def see a doctor/therapist about her anxiety, but a big chunk of the problem is that OP just has to grow up a little later than other people, just like I did. Growing pains always hurt.
You're not alone!
Damn this is me right now. Whenever I get a job it's just constant anxiety until I quit. I did have a job for a few months that wasn't too bad, I didn't like going and sometimes I called in sick when I shouldn't have, but I could manage it it was just a few hours every day doing data entry. Then they changed the job to answering phone calls and dealing with customers and working full time and then the anxiety was to much and I quit. I have no idea what to do with my life tbh or how to get a job I can handle.
Do what you have to...Giphy
Some people say "find something you love," but I don't think that is practical. More like, "Find something you don't mind doing for 8 hours a day," or something that doesn't run you into the ground.
Right now I do something I don't mind doing for 8 hours a day, such that it passes the time and it can be interesting (learning about science). But it took me 4 years to figure out wtf I was good at and what I even liked. I do still look at people who say, "I love my job!" like they have three heads. But I had 5 jobs before this one as I tried to figure out what I liked and what I could handle.
A big reason I can function at this level is because I take daily medication and I go to therapy twice a month. Those two things help mitigate the insane anxiety I have very little control over. It lowers the base line enough that I can try to combat the situational anxiety that still comes through. BUT, therapy is a luxury, especially if you're American, so I know that isn't always practical.
So you do know one thing - dealing with phone calls and customers is too difficult to handle. (Same with me.) The next step is to look at the things you're good at, and figure out the kind of jobs that would let you use those good skills. Skills like: You like to solve problems. You are curious, so you like to research because you find answers to weird questions. You like to figure out how things work, so maybe you'd be good at putting things together or fixing them. You're a good critical thinker, so maybe you'd be good at analysing data. Or you like to do social experiments, so maybe you could test out social media posts to see if you can boost a company's followers/engagement. OR, you like jobs without complicated expectations, so you stock products in a store - that way you mostly don't deal with people, and you need to figure out where things go and organize them. Or you deliver packages. Or you make flower arrangements in a shop.
You can get pretty creative if you want to. Eventually you'll figure out more about what you can/can't handle and you can narrow down the list of the types of jobs you want to try.
I had to quit several call centre jobs because I couldn't stop crying at work. I picked up some light retail hours in an area I was actually interested in - adult retail - and now retrained to work for myself as a sex coach. I don't think I'm cut out for the 9 - 5 world (I still have nightmares about office work) and running my own business is so much less stressful than the anxiety of working for a corporation. The most important thing to me is that I work to my code of ethics and can be proud of what I do.
You know, I think there is a job that for everyone that they will enjoy. That said, it's probably not the first or second or even third job you will have. It takes time to find something you will enjoy. Enjoy the road along the way with each job that doesn't work out, too, because now you know you don't like that kind of work and can try something else.
Draw from your life previously...
Can I ask what you did during the day when you weren't working for so many years? Did you garden or create and plan big meals? Did you tidy the house? I suppose I'm trying to understand if it's just the shock of being somewhere you have no choice about or if there is an actual real problem here. To be fair I've been working since I was 14 and every few years I get that feeling. I feel like I want to cry when I wake up and would rather die on the way to work than actually go. That's when I know it's time to move on and find something new. But that's after a few years usually not a few weeks.
One thing I've noticed that makes it harder to get things done is social media, since everyone likes to pretend on it that their lives are #perfect #soblessed (excuse me while I throw up in my mouth a moment). I sometimes feel guilty for needing to arrange my days like that (no errands or gym after getting home, etc) because people post stuff about their perfect homes and how they go to the gym at like 11 at night after the kids are asleep but then still get up for work at 5...
Then I just don't want to do anything productive, because I'm thinking "what's the point? I'll never be as good as Brenda over there." Ugh! It's frustrating. But oh well, we just have to learn to work with what works for us and stop worrying.
The best medicine...
He tells me to talk to a therapist but when do I do that? There's no time for anything! I get home and have to recover for like 3 hours then I might have an hour or two where I feel normal but then I start worrying about having to go back the next day.
You say you already have 3 hours allocated to "recovery" each day. That's time you should be using to go to therapy. To say that you can't go to therapy because you're too busy feeling badly about the thing you need therapy for is no different than saying "I'm too sick to go to the doctor." Really, when you feel sick is when you most need to go to the doctor. You can't expect to get better before you take your medicine. It's just that in this case your medicine is counseling.
How long have you been doing this job? In rehab, when someone is ready to go back to their job, there is a period of "work hardening" where the person has an adjustment period of getting used to the change in schedule, sleep schedule, energy demands, etc
I know that my friends who left work for their families and then went back also had this adjustment period. The adjustment period includes figuring iut what you actually have time and energy for, making adjustments to daily routines and expectations and getting sleep and wake times adjusted.
You will not have the time and energy to do all the things you did while you were not working. Most of that ends up being no big whoop (so we have rotisserie chicken and sides from the deli instead of a completely homemade roadt dinner), but some changes are harder.
Give yourself a break. Expect that you are going to be more tired and more stressed for a while. Loosen the demands on yourself. Notice what you do like about the job and what you don't like. The job itself may not be an ideal fit.
Being woken up suddenly is not very good for our health.
Especially for the elderly, it's not something to make a habit of. Sleep interruption can increase blood pressure, cause a worsened self image, and cause a day filled with irritation and confusion.
No one wants to be woken up, but there are definitely some reasons for being woken up that are worse than your alarm clock.
We went to Ask Reddit to find out some of the worst reasons people have been woken up.
Redditor Toothpiicxxk asked:
"What's the worst reason you woke up?"
These truly are the worst.
We love our pets, but sometimes not so much.
"My cat was throwing up right next to me."
"She brought you breakfast how cute."
"I was just about to answer that my cat threw up right on me, specifically my hair, which I had just washed..."
Some horrible news hits you.
"Being woken up to be told someone you know died certainly qualifies."
"Or when you already know, but you wake up in that ignorant bliss that lasts for about a second and then it hits you. And this goes on for a long time."
"It's been about 15 years and I still will wake up on occasion thinking I have to tell my older brother something cool that I know he'd love to hear about. Or have a vivid a** dream about how it was all an mistake and he's still here. Happens less often then it used to but oof does it ever still hurt."
"Woke up at about 3am to a cop repeatedly ringing my bell. my mom had accidentally drowned in the tub. she was really weak from chemo."
"Woke up to a phone call telling me my incredible brother-in-law had been hit and killed by a drunk & high driver, his wife was also expected to pass as her neck had been broken, and their kids were both in surgery. My husband and I were in the will to get the kids, so we needed to fly to Chicago right away. As I sat there in shock, I hung up the phone, turned to see my sleeping husband snoring away, and knowing I would now have to wake him up to tell him the worst news he would ever hear."
2018 false missile alert.
"I live in Hawaii, that time we got the missile scare."
"Oof at least it wasn't real but I would have definitely panicked if that was me."
"Damn, I slept straight through it. My mom literally woke me up, told me; and I still went back to sleep."
"What were you supposed to do? Go outside and witness your annihilation?"
"I think it's the right thing to do to inform people even if there isn't necessarily anything that can be done about it."
"Some people would appreciate being able to conduct prayers, get one last hug with their loved ones, etc."
"Cockroach walking on my lips with no shame. I brutally murdered it as soon as I yeeted it halfway across the room."
"I had a weird dream about a cockroach somehow paralyzing a friend then walking towards me in that same room. Then I awoke to find this a**hole cockroach slowly creeping on my lips."
"When I threw it away, what startled me was it did not panic AT ALL. It even slowly headed towards me!"
"I also mouth washed and brushed my teeth and even disinfected my lips with alcohol. It was a surreal experience."
"I seriously loathe roaches and there's no other way to ensure its death than a brutal one."
Screams in the night.
"One time I got woken up by a blood curdling scream in the middle of the night. I live alone and it also woke up my dog who was freaked out the rest of the night. Searched everywhere including outside and didn't find anything."
"Well that was lucky. Imagine what would have happened if you had found it..."
"Hopefully a fox, coyote, cat, or cougar."
"Being clearly asleep, and then someone wakes you to ask, 'Are you asleep?'"
"Bruh my mom be like [this]."
"The only correct answer to this question is 'yes.'"
"I woke up to my mom calling me sobbing because she thought I had died, I was 10 hours away and my blood sugar was severely low and wasn't answering any calls, that was horrifying."
"We've learned what does and doesn't work for waking me up in a medical emergency."
"Blood sugar can be a b*tch, found my mum having a really bad hypo while sleeping when I was a toddler and for years and years after would wake her up to check she was okay without realizing I was doing it for that reason. Glad you're okay!"
Something so relatable.
"My alarm rung. It's a daily struggle."
We've all been there.
If you're not a morning person, waking up in the morning can already be a challenge, but no one wants to get woken up to horrible news or an emergency.
In fact, we should be waking up naturally with our own personal sleeping patterns.
We all know that's easier said than done.
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People have a habit of excusing crap behavior - honestly because it's often easier in the short term. Long term = flaming dumpster fire.
The excuses people use to dismiss behavior range from mundane and meaningless to the sort of leaps normally reserved for kangaroos and Olympians. It's sometimes amazing that these excuses work - but they do.
Some of them work so well that they're just sort of "accepted." That, obviously, kind of sucks and is something we should avoid - so let's talk about 'em.
Can't swerve around what you don't see, ya know?
Reddit user TMTtasmachine asked:
... and away we go.
" 'That's just how they are.' "
"One of the biggest enablers for tantrum throwing, bullying, etc. is that they get treated with kid gloves to avoid dealing with them." - alexrt87
"Oh my God you hit the nail on the head. Whenever someone says 'that's just the way they are' I say:"
" 'Yes, that's the point! Glad you noticed too! Now is it okey-doke for them to be jerks they have special jerk privileges? Or maybe they are just people and should treat everyone else as such?' " - notatrumpchump
"It depends on how it's said."
"People are the way that they are, and you shouldn't be surprised when they continue to be that way."
"This, obviously, doesn't excuse it - but people also shouldn't be surprised when a bad person continues to make bad decisions. Neither should we waste space in our minds being bothered by it." - unlawfulfoxy
Harassment Isn't Humorseason 2 lol GIF by ShamelessGiphy
" 'It's just a joke, bro.' Harassing people isn't humor." - loading__99
"A guy who says/does offensive things and decides whether he was joking based on the reaction of people around him." - Eatsleeptren
"Dude, legit had someone come up to me and start shouting in my face, calling me Madison, pretending I was cheating on him. Literally the most crowded location outside a theater, everyone staring at us, looking at me like I was some horrible cheater while I was out with my then fiancé."
"I started hyperventilating, my fiancé nearly decked the dude, and then someone shouts 'CUT' like this is some big 'YOU'RE ON CANDID CAMERA' moment and everything's supposed to be okay."
"I burst into tears."
"It was the most humiliating moment of my life, and thank god my then fiancé, now husband is not the type to overreact or jump to conclusions, or be abusive. Imagine how bad that could have been for someone with an angry or abusive partner."
"Prank videos are a plague on the internet and there is a REASON so many of them are fake, or involve actors." - Darkovika
Stay Sober, Then!Drunk Drinking Beer GIFGiphy
" 'I was drunk / high / etc.' "
"Then don't drink?! Stay sober if you can't NOT be an a**hole!" - BasedBenjamin
"Alternately, I hear a lot of 'I'm a happy drunk!' "
"Yeah, according to your drunk a$s. That doesn't mean you're not an ahole. Not remembering is not an excuse either." - PepeBabinski
"I was also loud, obnoxious, and I wouldn't remember sh*t the next day."
"Quitting drinking has been one of my best choices of my life." - TTungsteNN
"Help"new girl coach GIFGiphy
" 'I'm just trying to help you' " - Miserable-Air1234
"Every time I've heard this, they're manipulating me while helping only themselves." - mykittenfarts
"My Mom to a T. Everything she does is better than anyone else's and she always gets pissed that people don't praise her for 'helping.' "
"She's now a certified (by herself) psychic and I have come to the conclusion that she's not a covert narcissist but an obvious one. I really wish I was joking." - Silent_Discussion657
Parenting ProblemsLeave Me Alone Run GIF by TLC EuropeGiphy
"Any variation of 'I'm a Mother/parent.' "
"Had some lady cut me in line at a coffee shop and she hit me with 'I'm a single Mom of 3!' as her excuse."
"Ok? And? I was still here first." - maid-for-hire
"I'm a single mom and I f*cking haaaate when other single moms/parents pull that sh*t to get special treatment."
"Last week, I was having a rough morning, my kid was being difficult, and I was running late. I was rude to a cashier over a minor inconvenience."
"Not only did I apologize for my shitty behavior, I wrote corporate to let them know how professional and patient she was while I acted like a f*cking toddler."
"Was being a parent part of the reason I was frustrated? Absolutely. Was it an excuse for that behavior? HELL no."
"I acted like a b*tch, and I called myself out, and I apologized. I still feel bad about that - I rarely let things get to me to the point I snap at others." - ClusterfckyShtshow
"Wow. I'm a Mom as well and tired but it doesn't give anyone a right to use it as some sort of ploy to get away with stuff."
"Like, mice become Moms about 12 times a year. You're not special 🤣" - SpoonLoops
Believing Your BossThe Office Monday GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphy
"I had a boss say some really racist sh*t around me one day and the next day, out of nowhere, he says:"
" 'Don't believe half the things that come out of my mouth!' "
"It was not really an excuse, more like trying to cover for himself after the fact, but still stuck with me." - sirlongbottom441
"Report them to HR. Seriously." - kokichi--ouma
"Looking past the racist stuff for a bit, that's not a very encouraging thing to hear from a boss…" - WonderfulBlackberry9
Bad Day AgainBad Day Reaction GIF by Schitt's CreekGiphy
" 'I'm having a bad day/week' "
"Okay, so you decide everybody that you interact with deserves the same fate? Get out of here, dude." - myordinaryexistence
"We all got stress, don't take it out on me. I get some people have stress bad enough for it to be passable every once and a while (family member passing, etc) but general, stress should not lead to you being a jerk to me." - willsimpforfree
"Damn, I'm definitely guilty of this. Usually I remember to apologize after but at this point I've learned to just avoid the situation in the first place by minimizing my interaction with people if I'm in a shitty mood." - nozzzrul
"Reminds me of when that White boy went on a murder rampage and killed a bunch of Asian women & that a-hole sheriff gave a press conference telling the media that the 'poor boy had a bad day.' "
"My idea of a bad day involves going home after a rough day at work and just staying in the house."
"Apparently, I should change my ethnicity from Asian to White and go on a murder rampage, see if my @ss gets a sympathetic sheriff to say on my behalf that I had 'a bad day.' " - kingkazul400
It's Not An ExcuseSeason 2 Reaction GIF by FriendsGiphy
"This won't go down well, but using depression as an excuse. As someone who suffers from it, it's still not ok to treat others like sh*t" - Rainbowwallstickers
"Could not agree enough. My partner has a 'friend' who treats everyone like sh*t all the time, has no consideration for others and openly mocks people in public."
"She gets so much grace from those around her under the guise of her 'mental health.' It's so infuriating watching an adult woman never have to take responsibility for her actions." - 34boor
"I get there are some things you can't control, but you are still responsible for keeping that sh*t in check and if you're aware of your mental illness, you should be aware of how you approach people and situations."
"I'll admit I used to be guilty of using my mental illness to be an @ss, but now I'm trying to better myself" - VeeSquibbles
Florida Gonna FloridaLooney Tunes Florida GIFGiphy
"People are letting Florida off the hook way too damn much. And I live in Florida."
"Just because it's hilarious doesn't mean it isn't still completely f*cked up." - AlphaWhiskeyOscar
"The phrase 'Florida Man' is almost always followed some heinous way a Floridian is being an a$$hole." - PepeBabinski
"I'm also originally from Florida, and that state has serious problems. We need to pay attention to it." - [Reddit]
Moment of honesty ... as a Floridian ... yeaaaah, I'm gonna have to agree with that last one.
We live in a time where we are critically re-examining how we pay workers. After a two-year-long pandemic where some low-income and "unskilled" jobs were deemed "essential," we now must put our money where our mouth is.
For too long in the world have incredibly important jobs been overlooked or else outright maligned. Teachers in the USA make some of the least money, career-wise, and have some of the hardest jobs. Dancers pay to put their bodies through hell with no guarantee of paid work after training.
So how do we fix this problem? By naming it, of course.
Redditor u/NightReader5 asked:
"What professions are severely underpaid?"
Here were some of those answers.
Our Elderly Deserve Better
"I worked as a CNA in a nursing home and I loved it. It's such hard work for such little pay and that's why I had to leave."
"Not only that but I was a rare person in that I LOVED caring for the residents. Nothing was beneath me such as changing a dirty diaper or spoon feeding."
"Everything helped their quality of life. Sucks they can't keep people that genuinely enjoy it cause I couldn't make over $10 an hour."-Dancer9d9
"Came here to say this: Emergency Medical Technicians. I will never not be just a bit salty about this."
"My husband is one of those people who does this job because it's his passion and he loves helping people."
"It would be nice if he earned more than the kid who just got hired at McDonald's this morning."-ThePotterheadHobbit
High School Bathrooms....
"The janitors at my high school. I walked in the men's bathroom there once and there was a mega-giant steaming pile of crap and diarrhea right in the middle of the floor."-satanic-sex-god
"Anyhow. Are you sure that was a high school? We're talking grades 9-12 here, right?"-VoicedVelarNasal
"Unfortunately yes. Other highlights of my oh so great high school men's bathroom that contains teenagers from 14 to as old as 20 are:"
"A dude bringing a sledgehammer to school and smashing a sink, the toilets being blown up, the toilets being frequently clogged with trash..."
"Smashed beer bottle glass covering the floor, and a centimeter of pee flooding the bathroom whenever you walk in. I hate it here."-satanic-sex-god
You know immediately YOU might not want to do this job--so why is someone else getting paid next to nothing to do it?
The More You Help Others The Less You Get Paid
"Statistically speaking, any job that provides significant social benefit to others, the less you will get paid, something that David Graeber discusses in essays and his work, Bullsh*t Jobs."
"This is so sad. I'm currently in a job that pays very well, I just dont find any meaning or fulfillment with it. I want so badly to do something where I'd be helping others- something with purpose- but I honestly dont think I can afford it."-mko0njo9
"Social workers. Dealing with negligent, abusive parents while trying to help the children while in an underfunded, low-paid system is a travesty."-ZRX1200R
"Can also confirm. I like working with my family's but I don't get paid enough to deal with their crap or most of the bureaucracy."-Altowhovian93
Minimum Wage To Go Against FIRE
"Entry level wildland firefighters. They start them at $15 an hour."-NuclearEyedSquirrel
"I live in a small town in Ohio and I think the lowest starting wage I've seen was 11."
"That's the low side and those places are having trouble hiring because there's so many places paying higher. McDonald's here starts at 13 or 14 an hour."-rjoh4459
One Kid, One Para
"Paraprofessionals. Yea, my town increased the pay rate for paraprofessionals to get more people to apply since they have a shortage but the pay increase was not that good IMO."
"For that job, I think you need to be compensated for the physical and mental demands of the job."
"It's a hard job and they should be paid for the work, the pay rate in my community for the job with 60 credits is $14.50 but I think it should be more than that."-YourQueen2Bee
The question then becomes, why won't the people who HAVE money do something to help the quality of these jobs, and make sure that these people get paid?
"Everything in veterinary medicine. Kennel technicians, Veterinary assistants, Veterinary technicians, Veterinary receptionists, and Veterinarians."-aIsiduous
"Veterinary interns/residents, too. I work 70-120hrs+ per week, am on call about half the days per month, have to pay for my own board exams and accreditation fees out of pocket, and all for ~$33,000 per year."-WyrdHarper
"It's bullsh*t. There's nothing on this planet I want to do more than be a veterinarian, but I simply cannot afford the debt. Hopefully one day we'll get the recognition deserved. Stick in there, I know you got this!"--aIsiduous
In The Classroom
"I work in a special school, I love it but I really don't think we get paid enough for all the times we get yelled at, punched, kicked, bit, spat on, cursed at, have our classrooms trashed, have things thrown at us..."
"And then we also have parents making demands and admin telling us their 'simple' solutions to all of it that we have to carry out while they have zero clue on what it's actually like to spend a day in the classroom."-Sajiri
A Morbid State Of Affairs
"Funeral directors/embalmers/funeral professionals. We didn't get days or holidays off to begin with. Now the pandemic has stretched us to working double overtime, which we are exempt from getting paid for under Florida statutes."
"And forget hazard pay for being exposed to COVID multiple times a day every day via the deceased, the deceased's family members, the general public attending funerals, and the hospital/nursing facilities we remove decedents from."-Lesscute
So why are we holding off on giving these people a raise? Their jobs involve dangerous, mentally and emotionally taxing situations, and yet, we treat them as if society could function without them. The truth is it couldn't.
And society had best learn that as soon as possible.
What causes a small town to die?
Honestly, there can be quite a few factors, but perhaps the biggest one is that small towns often lack the upward mobility opportunities that are more available in urban areas.
As a result, many towns around the United States for instance have lost tens of millions of people as their populations seek jobs and opportunities elsewhere.
And what remains of these places can be pretty sketchy.
People told us more after Redditor RadicalizedSnackWrap asked the online community,
"What's a super sketchy US city that we never hear about?"
"Daytona Beach, FL. Imagine a bunch of alcoholic high school kids who came for spring break in 1984, and never left, and never grew up."
Oh, I don't have to imagine it.
I've seen it!
I lived in a neighboring town for a while and bodies would always turn up in farmer's fields that the cartel in Yakima had dropped off there."
Sounds like Netflix needs to get its hands on Yakima, a new show to go against Ozark.
"I remember a story..."
"Guntersville, Alabama. If I were to ballpark it, over 80% of the population are meth addicts and traffickers.
I remember a story where a man walked into the Walmart, took all the supplies and equipment required to cook, and proceeded to cook meth in the bathroom."
"A run-down town..."
"Reading, PA. A run-down town that is mostly used as a central point to run drugs between New York and Philly."
I am writing this from right nearby actually, and I can smell it from here.
"Small town almost entirely..."
"Butte, Montana. Small town almost entirely comprised of violent meth heads."
"More of a town than a city..."
More of a town than a city, but it's such a weird place, bordering on Twilight Zone. You'll see a meth house right next to a youth theatre."
According to a friend I have who spent a lot of time in Arizona, this sounds about right.
"Used to have..."
"Gary, Indiana. Used to have a prosperous steel economy, but now it's just home to abandoned buildings, failing infrastructure, and lots and lots of crime. Just look up pictures."
"I always said..."
"Amityville. Yes, that Amityville.
I always said the "Amityville Horror" house is for amateurs. You want something scary, put on a nice watch or a gold chain and wander around downtown Amityville after dark."
I went there once.
I have not been back.
"It looks harmless..."
"Harrisburg PA. It looks harmless and maybe a little boring but holy hell that place is a giant puddle of corruption just waiting for someone to step in it. Not just state government, there's a bunch of layers you can use to crawl up the corruption ladder."
"Used to be..."
"Natchez, Mississippi. Use to be the headquarters for the KKK. Not much there besides crackheads, plantation homes, and European tourists. Don't own a nice place if you're black, you'll be stopped by the police and questioned."
It doesn't look any of these are changing anytime soon, and that's sad.
Have some small towns to tell us about? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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