When I was heading into high school from middle my guidance counselor and my parents wanted me to enter into "gifted" classes because I was able to maintain a high GPA.
They thought it would give me a head start for a great college and then prime me for the presidency.
I protested and negotiated signing up for merely "advanced" classes, God forbid I go with "regular" classes, or we all just get the same education.
I have never regretted it.
My friends in the "gifted" arena were always stressed, could rarely attend a social event.
Education is what you put into it. Why drive a young student crazy?
Redditor sangbum60090 was wondering how life ended up for those in the "brilliant" percent by asking:
"Former "gifted children", what went wrong?"
The Burnout....
burnt out GIF by Space JamGiphyHigh expectations from a young age, from everyone, leading to overworking, depression anxiety and burnout.
Don't Push....
For me the high expectations were combined with questionable parenting. My mom didn't really understand that you can't just push people you need them to buy in and you need to know how things work. My mom would yell at me for doing poorly in high school math but didn't understand that if I didn't have high school math I couldn't go into a business or engineering degree and now I'm messed because my BA & MA are useless.
Pushing your kids too hard is really crappy. Also, not meeting their basic emotional needs or giving them fun stuff to do will also mess with them.
In the 6th....
In sixth grade I started at a very prestigious school geared toward college prep. At my previous school I excelled with minimal effort, rarely got under 99% on any test or quiz or project. Sixth grade starts, and now I have 3+ hours of homework a night. Couple that with piano lessons (I didn't particularly enjoy them) once a week and extra curricular like sports and I had less free time as a sixth grader than I do now at 33 with a full time job 45 minute one way commute, and a three year old daughter.
It was absolutely insane and I cracked under the pressure. I managed to keep those high As all through sixth grade but then in seventh grade? Yeah I discovered that I could still get Bs and Cs and not really apply myself all that much. So I did that instead. My motivation was just non existent after that burnout. I simply didn't give a crap anymore about most schooling.
I still graduated and managed to mostly turn it around and have As and Bs by the end of high school but I never recovered the ability to give too much of a crap so that stuck with me to the present pretty much. I have certainly underachieved what people would have expected of me if they knew me in elementary school but meh.
Average
student pass GIF by Juan BillyGiphyI never learned how to work for my grades. Even now in college, I find it hard to sit down and do my work and I push everything to the last minute.
It turned even worse when my university turned all exams in school to longer exams at home with permitted use of books. I didn't open the book until the exam. Got an average grade but could have done much better had I just read and worked as I should (that said, the course expecting us to read 500 pages a week on average is just not realistic).
So Many Issues....
Sounds like a cop out, but to an extent I blame my mother. I'd come home having scored a 98/99 and her brand of "comedy" was to ask what happened to the other 1 or 2%. She loves me and didn't mean any harm by it, but after a while it wears on you. I started feeling like if I didn't try it wouldn't matter to me if I missed out on a few percentage points here or there anymore because I'd always have a legitimate excuse for myself.
That, plus mental health issues (anxiety and depression). I'm actually doing much better now and teach at University-level, but there's always that voice in the back of my head that tells me things are never quite good enough, and it bugs the crap out of me.
ETA: hey look, ma! I finally reached 100!
:(
ADHD and child abuse.
God, this. I tested in the upper percentile early on, and I was put in advanced classes. I don't know what it's like now, but California had really good programs when I was a kid. However, I went undiagnosed for ADD as well. This, along with my parent's expectations meant I disappointed them more often than not.And when my parents were disappointed, they expressed it physically... So my life devolved into depression, anxiety, and an inability to use what I had. It doesn't matter how much horsepower you have under the hood if you can't put it on the ground. It's taken me years to finally get myself into a position to make good on some of my early potential.
Derailed....
Mental illness and being poorly prepared for life, but I've gotten control of it. Now I'm a little behind in life but I'm back in college and have a 4.0. Sometimes we get derailed but it's never too late to try again.
Only to be Smarter....
Smart Think About It GIF by FriendsGiphyThe same things that go wrong for most gifted kids: Gifted education doesn't deliver. I was head of every class I was in for the longest time, but giving the smart kid more of the same work doesn't teach them about being challenged.
Then when the board of education got involved because I broke the standardised test in third grade and the school was forced to skip me ahead, the principal rode me like a fairground pony and would call me to his office once a week and berate me for not instantly coming out on top of a class that was starting to challenge me two weeks into first term.
I still ended up in the school for smart kids, but the curriculum was no different to every other school, it was just a holding tank. The education system is designed for kids to learn at a specific pace. If you do it faster, if you do it slower, if you do it differently the system stops working pretty quickly.
EDIT: Well this blew up in a way I wasn't expecting. Hey, for those of you who want to read more about what happens to gifted kids as they grow up I recommend Gifted Grownups By Marylou Kelly Streznewsky (hella expensive for an ebook, but well worth it). This was the book that finally put all the intelligence into perspective for me, and made me realize that I was not only "smarter" I was also qualitatively different, and because of that, no matter where I am in life, giftedness is a lifelong thing.
"gifted and talented"
Developed severe depression and didn't get help until after I had already failed pretty much all my classes for 3 years in a row and fallen behind, and then fell another year behind when I was in a long-term progress-based outpatient program getting treatment for my depression. Then, when I finally went back to school with my mental health in check, I had about a month of good grades and success before I started to develop major health problems.
I tried to finish via online schooling but couldn't keep up with the increased workload in online school while so sick so I ended up having to drop out.
And that's how I went from a "gifted and talented" kid to a high school dropout.
Early On....
life GIFGiphyFrom a really early age i was considered a bright kid. Now when interacting with people in my daily life, it's generally understood that I come off as pretty smart, but i never had accomplishments that were consistent with that.
I never had something to show for it, but that doesn't necessarily suggest that my strengths weren't real. It just suggests that they didn't end up being as important as some might've guessed.
What went wrong, is that the world turned out to be a place, where there are very few chances for people to make a living running their mouth.
Bad Times
Trauma.
I developed mental problems because of brain damage from trying to bang myself in sixth grade and then I had failed several classes. Through high school and college I got better though, I had a 3.4 in HS and a 3.7 in college, 3.2 if we count the dropped classes as F's.
beyond test scores...
I was considered gifted in the sense that I always got great test scores, at times perfect, but that was when I was in an actual public school, I was moved to online schooling a year after Sandy Hook and my grades dropped significantly, I just couldn't learn as well as I used to, this might've been the cause of my depression or I just happened to be depressed on top of all the other bullcrap.
Now What?
Confused Jennifer Robertson GIF by CBCGiphyGet a college degree! Cool i got one. Now what? No one ever talked to me about planning for goals after college and 7 years later I still don't know what I'm doing with my life.
the weird kid...
I started school a year early because I was considered "gifted." I remember having to take a special test so I could start school early and being afraid I would fail and disappoint my mom. By first grade, I was in gifted classes - teachers would remove us from our normal class or we'd miss out on recess and go to these extra classes.
The other kids picked on us. I wasn't as emotionally mature in the first place and I was physically tiny. The pressure to be expectational in the gifted class was extreme. In second grade, I had an emotional breakdown in gifted class that required my mom to come pick me up at school since I couldn't stop crying and hyperventilating.
I was removed from the gifted class after that.
I felt so embarrassed - first I was the weird kid none of the others liked and then I was the weird kid who melted down and wasn't good enough to stay in the gifted class.
Realizations....
Well, my family are poor as hell. I'm talking I didn't realize vegetables came in anything but cans until I moved out, and we never had enough to eat. I was also raised in a cult where education was seen as a bad thing, so I got a late start - even though I skipped a couple grades.
By my teenage years I was dealing with severely untreated mental illness, and was forced onto benzos to deal with "anxiety attacks." I started self-medicating, and by 15 was completely addicted.
I was cloistered away and not allowed any friends not specifically in my cult - which made things worse. I worked three jobs at 16, and my parents confiscated all the money. I also started at a local tech school around this time.
Between the side effects of the benzos, guilt over religion, and just general stress, I lost a scholarship I had applied for, and my main job. Barely made it through the rest of school.
Moved out after that, and have gotten better every year since, but it's a long freaking road.
The Burned...
I burned out in college; I was poorly taught due to teacher strikes and had a general poor time of it emotionally. As a result I didn't work quite as hard as I should have and didn't get the best grades. I got into my second choice university and realised that it was just the college and A-Level mindset.
That didn't suit me as well as the pressure of exams and, although I was heartbroken at the time, my then girlfriend breaking up with me significantly helped my development and I thrived at uni all the way through to my Masters degree.
Don't let being labelled as "gifted" distract you and don't let a style of learning that doesn't agree with you allow you to think you aren't clever.
It's just Life
Life got in the way, but otherwise nothing.
Like many, I learned late that hard work can be as important as raw talent, if not more so, but I had time to learn how to do that, catch-up, and achieve some great stuff.
I feel like I would still be doing well, even battling my own demons of ADHD and anxiety, if my parents hadn't gotten so sick and for such a long time. It just took too much time to take care of them, even with tons of hired help.
Sometimes, maybe even often, big things happen that derail your perfect life plans - your marriage falls apart, you have a special needs child, you get sick, you get a new president of an institute and they want to take work in another direction, etc.
Life goes on, nobody gets everything thing way and secretly think they deserve.
Ways to be social...
Focus was on academic success not social skills. Parents moved the family around a lot and so I changed schools many times. Being on the shy side made it difficult to make friends, and when I did we'd just move again and I'd lose those friends. In my teen years felt isolated and chronically depressed. My parents didn't understand I needed help with this and my father was anti psychiatrists.
Cue low self esteem, bumbling from one job to another, and gut wrenching loneliness. Took me till my late 20s to find some social confidence and a boyfriend. But still battling depression, been in therapy on and off for years and go through periods I am medicated for depression.
Ways to Cope
Stressed Over It GIF by HULUGiphyI think many "gifted" children, speaking of American millennials, came from challenging circumstances. The intelligence and maturity that got them into "gifted" programs was probably often a manifestation of abnormal coping responses.
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- Former 'Gifted Children' Explain What Went Wrong In Their Life ... ›
- Teachers Divulge The Worst Things They Confiscated From Students - George Takei ›
- Former 'Gifted Students' Explain How They're Doing In Life Now - George Takei ›
- Speaking as a Former Gifted Kid – Autistic Empath ›
- Why there's no such thing as a gifted child | Schools | The Guardian ›
- How bad should we feel for burnt-out gifted kids? | The Outline ›
- To former “gifted kids”, what's life like right now? - Quora ›
- The “Gifted Kid Burnout” is More than Just an Online Ph... ›
- 'Gifted kid burnout' is more than a punchline | The Journal ›
- Rory Gilmore & The Former Gifted Kid Syndrome - Film Cred ›
- 26 Former "Gifted" Kids Share Its Effect On Their Lives ›
- Former "gifted children", what went wrong? : r/AskReddit ›
Men Who've Gotten A Vasectomy Share Their Experiences
Reddit user GaleNotTheWind asked: 'Men of Reddit who have gotten a vasectomy, what was your experience?'
According to the Cleveland Clinic, over 50 million men have had a vasectomy.
Although avoiding sexual intercourse is the only effective way to avoid pregnancy, the male birth control procedure still has a low failure rate.
Those who are apprehensive about having a vasectomy fear the following: pain, impact on sex life, effectiveness, and side effects like cancer. (The National Cancer Institute and the American Urological Association have found that the procedure does not increase the risk of prostate cancer).
To seek some reassurance, Redditor GaleNotTheWind asked:
"Men of Reddit who have gotten a vasectomy, what was your experience?"
Guys discuss what happened after the snipping.
Making Sure
"For the love of God, do the follow-up appointment. The last thing you want is to be accidentally playing with a loaded gun."
– sleepypanda59
Wise To Wait
"The paper work I got for mine which was done less than 2 weeks ago said that you could have sex 2-3 days after but... definitely said to wait another few days."
– SisterPhister666
Follow Post-Surgical Procedures Or Else
"Had it done twice while living in Japan no less. Why twice? The first one failed."
"... apparently, so did the second (says my now 6 year old daughter)."
– shoelessmarcelshell
These men found that the procedure itself wasn't a big deal.
Assurance
"I was super anxious, but I had a great procedure. I was more freaked out about the shot of numbing agent to the balls, but it was legit nothing to worry about."
Normal In No Time
"Little operation, blue balls and no wanking for a week, then back to normal but without getting anyone pregnant."
– Bright_Composer_3901
"Made the mistake of having a pop after a couple of days. Jesus, the regret."
– Alante
Best Money Ever Spent
"When I woke up after the anesthesia - yes I asked to be put under, best $55 (after insurance) I ever spent - the caffeine headache I had upon waking was the most painful part. The preoperative instructions were nothing but water the evening before, no water for 4 hours before going under. The Safeway brand cola that the angel aftercare nurse brought me was pure refreshment."
– HarrumphingDuck
Cherry On Top
"Local anesthesia stings for a second or two then all you can feel is tugging after all is done the pain I would describe is like blue balls for like 2 days tops. I took a week off work recommend by doctor since I’m a construction worker and the heavy lifting but I felt like after day 3 I was good to go. Cons: minor pain discomfort, no hanky panky until last semen sample came out clear. Pros: , no unplanned pregnancies(it’s still possible very rarely)."
– Secure_Requirement84
Some final thoughts.
Only Pros
"To me, the only bad part was the smell of the cauterization of my vas deferens.. the procedure was fine. Local anesthesia before and during just felt slight tugging no pain. Recovery was easy. No pain. No cons. Only pros. And if absolutely need be it’s reversible. Much easier and less invasive than a woman getting her tubes tied and significantly less harmful than birth control. I’m an advocate. Get it done!"
– PunchARacist
One Unsettling Thing
"For me, it wasn’t the smell but watching the little puffs of smoke during the cauterization. That was truly and deeply unsettling."
"Otherwise, yeah, nothing major to report. Stayed in bed for a day watching old horror movies and assembling a Lego plant. Pretty much business as usual after that."
– GuestCartographer
The One Constant
"Got a vasectomy, it worked. Got it reversed, that worked.... twice Got another vasectomy...17 years later, all good. Just go to a legit great Dr. I mean top of the field Dr. For ANY messsin around down there. Vasectomy is WAY easier now than 25-30 years ago. In/out in an hour... The only thing that hasn't changed? ... The bag of frozen peas ..😂"
– richwat00
Vasectomies are performed via two methods, the incision vasectomy or a no-scalpel vasectomy, and both use local anesthesia to numb the scrotum.
Always consult a healthcare provider before undergoing the procedure and–most importantly–make sure you don't want to have children or that you and your spouse don't want to add additional family members.
Based on the anecdotes above, there's nothing to fear, so feel free to man up and get to snipping.
The Scariest Yet Most Realistic Films About The Future Ever Made
I've always enjoyed a good scare on film and my Mother indulged my preferences as she also loved a good horror film.
While we thoroughly enjoyed a good Disney movie together, I was also allowed to watch Jaws, The Exorcist and The Omen before I was 10 years old.
Slashers and sci-fi frights were good, but to me the most effective scares involved nightmarish scenarios that might easily happen in the not so distant future.
For me, growing up Roman Catholic meant demonic possession and the AntiChrist were on the list of plausible fears.
But what films offered possible Hellscapes for others?
Reddit user beefgulash asked:
"What is the scariest—yet most realistic—future film ever made?"
Threads
"I thought that BBC’s nuclear holocaust Threads was much more terrifying and depressing than United States TV movie The Day After."
~No-Distance425
"Threads might genuinely be the most terrifying thing I’ve ever seen."
~ ThorCoolguy
Her
"Her. Everyone is so online that they lost the ability to make human connections, to the point where it's a business for the main character to write personal letters on behalf of others."
"So lonely, he easily falls in love with an AI and the only one who still feels real emotions, his ex wife (Rooney Mara), is treated like a crazy person."
"With everyone too online and severely lonely, we are practically living in that emotional dystopia now."
~ grandmofftalkin
Children of Men
"Children of Men. You want to know what makes it so scarily realistic?"
"Alfonso Cuaron deliberately shot scenes in East London and asked the production designers to make it 'more Mexican'—in other words, make it look even more run-down than it already was."
"Cuaron leaned in on his own experiences in growing up in Mexico and seeing everyday poverty to bring that to look and feel to a futuristic London. The future-London isn't a gleaming metropolis—it's a metropolis on the verge of collapse and giving up."
"The battle scenes weren't fantastical as so many sci-fi dystopian films often are: they're based on real, real conflicts. Cuaron was smart to include imagery from the then-current Iraq invasion and the atrocities committed in Abu Ghraib to jar the viewer's thoughts and attentions just long enough to make them feel queasy."
"The shots of illegal immigrants in cages were disturbing then—well, they should be f*cking frightening now. Cuaron and the production designers saturated that film with little visual snippets of then-current events and fictional future atrocities to make it a highly believable—and scary—world."
~ PureDeidBrilliant
Contagion
"Contagion—a movie about a coronavirus outbreak, that pre-dated COVID-19."
~ glrd1
"When I saw that movie in theaters, there was someone coughing a few rows behind. Like, big, wet, juicy coughs..."
"I hated that immersive movie experience."
~ only_bubble_sort
"The fast killing virus that spreads around the world was a bit unrealistic but man was it a trip watching this during lockdowns."
"I'd never heard of 'social distancing' until the pandemic and it and other pandemic facts of life coming out in the movie hit home."
~ Dmzm
A Scanner Darkly
"A Scanner Darkly. A large amount of the population have become drug addicts, the government enacts a total police state, and the addicts slowly descend into insanity, and eventually are put into rehab once their brains are fried.
"Once they are 'rehabed' (they are basically lobotomized, or brainwashed) they are sent to work on large corporate farms."
"The same corporations that own the rehabs, also own the farms, and they are also the ones growing the illicit drugs that cause the whole problem."
~ CmTrumpet
The Road
"The Road. I remember seeing the premiere of it at a film festival and the director and cast were there and all smiles and jokes and so happy to be there…and then the movie plunged all of us into pure despair for 2 hours."
~ Other-Marketing-6167
"I read the book multiple times before the movie came out."
"The movie makes your heart break, but the book destroys your soul and will to live for like a week after reading."
~ Some-Philly-Dude
WALL-E
"WALL-E. The fact that Pixar showed everyone a very real future Earth if we continue down the path we're on and nobody did anything about it speaks volumes. Everyone knows sh*t's f*cked."
"I'm rooting for the roomba with solar panels who gets outside after we've annihilated ourselves, enjoy fulfilling your set purpose lil' dude."
~ Shes_dead_Jim
Gattaca
"Gattaca. If you ever watch it again listen to how they talk about him and his 'condition'."
"It’s all 'could” and 'might' and 'possibly' and similar caveats."
"His only 'condition' was being a natural birth and not a designer baby."
~ pocket-friends
RoboCop
"RoboCop. Dude dies at work. Gets resurrected to continue working."
"Also the whole bit about corporations privatizing public services."
"Feels like we're gonna be there in a few years."
~ Gentleman_Jack90
Elysium
"Elysium strikes me as the most realistic, as far as the social structure."
"You have an ultra rich class, a mercenary type 'middle' class, and everyone else is fighting for the scraps."
~ Maliluma
"Sure seems like the logic extension of the widening global gap between a few ultra-wealthy and the rest of the population."
"The ultra-wealthy already are invested in space travel, colonizing Mars, island compounds and extreme longevity."
~ RichardBonham
Logan's Run
"Logan's Run, it's a bit of a cult classic."
"In the future, there are limited places for humans to live, so everyone has an 'expiration date' regardless of how healthy they are."
"Everyone has to die before a certain age. I won't spoil it in case anyone wants to see it."
"It's an old school sci-fi movie that I have loved since I was a kid."
~ macmac360
12 Monkeys
"No one mentioned 12 Monkeys yet?"
"Found it super realistic and scary."
~ mrs_anouk
Soylent Green
"Soylent Green solves both problems of overpopulation and food scarcity.... so, maybe it will happen."
"I just hope they think of 3rd Degree Burn Scorchin' Habanero Soylent Green when they do it."
~ ketchuptheclown
Metropolis
"Metropolis. Complete masterpiece in my opinion."
~ CaptianOfCows
Idiocracy
"Idiocracy."
~ BrilliantlyClueless
"I like to believe that somewhere in that world a pocket of smart people retreated to someplace isolated like New Zealand and persisted."
~ notapunk
Zombies! 🧟♂️🧟♀️🧟
Personally, I love zombie movies based on the concept from George A. Romero's classic Night Of The Living Dead.
Zombies existed in myths and legends before Romero's film, but not in the way they do now in popular culture.
Romero's movies also always included social commentary on economic inequality, racism and the ills of unbridled capitalism.
To me zombie films show how people would react in a viral health crisis and our recent pandemic made them all the more real.
So what movies do you think are scary because they're too real?
The Worst Reasons Cheaters Have Given To Justify Their Infidelity
Infidelity in marriages isn't as widespread as people think. While some cynics would have us believe faithful partners are scarce, they account for over 4 out of 5 spouses.
Still, 16% of married couples in the United States admitted to being unfaithful at some point in their marriage.
And 57% of divorces were due to cheating.
In marriages where infidelity occurs, but doesn't result in divorce, the loss of trust is still a problem. It can make emotional and physical intimacy challenging.
So why do people cheat instead of ending their relationship before moving on?
Reddit user littlehoneybear2104 asked:
"What is the worst reason you've heard for cheating on someone?"
What's Old Is New Again
"He wanted to try something new."
"He cheated on me with his ex."
~ meeez80
GiphyPreemptive Strike
"Just in case he would ever cheat on me, I cheated first, so it's his fault for possibly cheating on me in the first place."
~ Competitive_Bat4986
Mission Accomplished
"To have a reason to end the relationship."
~ chewie_33
Tough Enough
"He said I'm strong and I can handle it."
"Like WTF? Does that give someone a free pass just to cheat?"
"Like we ain't tolerating that too. Done with that person."
~ drn-07
GiphyDream On
"Ex cheated on me because I cheated on her in a dream shehad and she was sure it was a sign that I was unfaithful in real life."
~ Craigothy-YeOldeLord
Oops!
"It was an accident."
"Yeah, 'I tripped and fell into her vagina' sounds legit."
~ dabbad525
GiphyGrow Up
"You didn’t show me enough attention the past few years! You didn’t take me anywhere! I’m the baby in my family, I need attention!”
"I worked 3 jobs, played with the kids, and finished a degree… during COVID while EVERYWHERE was closed."
~ hephaestus1219
Lockdown
"I was together with her for 14 years, married for 6 and this dipsh*t said we stagnated for a year during COVID because we didn’t go out anywhere...because she was deathly afraid of COVID."
"Some people are so pathetically stupid."
~ Virgin_nerd
GiphyUnsupervised
"My best friend in high school/college claimed it was my fault she cheated on her boyfriend because I left them in the room alone together with the she cheated with."
~ Smart_Form_9569
Too Perfect?
"My ex said it was because I was 'too perfect' and that he couldn't live up to the standard I had set by being who I was."
~ MarvelousShiggyDiggy
Trauma Response
"My cousin’s ex said she felt she had to hook up with the guy working the front register at Walgreens because of the events of 9-11."
"I’m not even kidding. This was on 9-11."
"She apparently was so upset she staggered into Walgreens and fell on the first guy she saw."
~ Big_Psychology_4210
In The Stars
"My ex cheated on me because 'August has new energy'—something to do with astrology. And yes, I mean the month August, not someone named August."
~ Frog-Thing
Giphy*yawn* 🥱
"The relationship just got boring"
"Their marriage seemed perfect inside and out, except she got bored of being a wife and mother."
"She tried fighting for the marriage after her affair partner died of a heart attack and husband called her out on her bullsh*t."
~ DevilinDeTales
Some people aren't meant for commitment, but that should be something they disclose to their partners before they cheat.
It would avoid a lot of wasted time and heartbreak.
When it comes to flirting, everyone has their preferences of how they like to be flirted with. Some people like cleverly crafted pickup lines.
I always thought pickup lines were a cheap way to get someone's attention. That being said, there are some good ones out there. I've been on the receiving end of both. "On a scale from one to America, how free are you tonight?" and, "You must be the square root of two because I feel irrational around you."
Both got me to engage in conversation, and I even dated the guy who used the first one for a while.
I'm not the only one that knows some good pickup lines. Redditors have both heard and used some pickup lines and are eager to share their favorites.
It all started when Redditor Sauce_Dealer420 asked:
"What's the best pickup line of all time?"
Read It And See
"You put the sexy in dyslexic."
– koookyko
"This made me laugh so hard."
"Because I can read properly."
– TappedIn2111
I'm Hooked
"This girl I used to work with and I went to a bar after work and we’re having fun, and she leans over to tell me a joke. And she says:"
"Three boy mice and a girl mouse were all stuck in a room with no doors and no windows. One of the boy mice asked the girl mouse how to get out and she said, “Sleep with me tonight, and I’ll tell you in the morning.""
"The next day, he is gone. The second boy mouse asks the girl mouse how he got out and she says, “Sleep with me tonight, and I’ll tell you in the morning.""
"Next day, he’s gone too."
"So now the girl telling me this joke says to me, “Do you want to know how the last mouse gets out of the box?”
"And I say “yes.""
"And she says, “Sleep with ME tonight, and I’ll tell you in the morning”. All this while staring me in the eyes and smiling."
"I said, “Check please bartender!!""
"I forgot to ask her in the morning, but that was the best pickup line I’ve ever heard."
– reb678
Statistics
"The odds we sleep together are 50% because half of us agree so far."
– AlfheimKitteh
"Math is always super sexy."
– Acceptable-News-6811
Money, Money, Money
"Hey girl, are you the English financial system? Because I'm about to give you a weak pound."
– onemanwolfpack21
"Yo girl, do you know exchange rates? Because Euro 10."
– kkirchhoff
Winner, Winner
""Are you a magician? Cuz every time I look at you, everyone else disappears.""
"This line got me a wife and three kids. 😊"
– PRSHZ
One Liners
"Are you a beaver? Cuz damn."
– Starry_Night-
"If you were a fruit you'd be a fineapple."
– Slainna
"Hi, do you want to go for a ride on a Harley?"
"(My name is Harley) 😁"
– OMNIxvTRIX
No Losers
"If I asked you for a date would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this question?"
– SchemePale6222
"I got blue screen in my head."
"Explain please."
– TastyToothpasta
"You can't lose. Say no, the answer is yes. Say yes, the answer is also yes."
"Dang sounds kinda creepy writing it out like that. Still clever wordplay though."
– Steeze_Schralper6968
Clever
"My go-to was always:"
"I used to be a history teacher, so I know lots of important dates. Want to help me make another one?"
"A little corny, but it usually worked."
– StuffToday
Refreshing
"That one actually worked with my ex on the first try."
"-Hey, do you like water?"
"-Yes."
"-Then you like me in 70% already."
– azurskyy
Sneaky
"Would you date a complete stranger?"
"If she says “yes” you’re in."
If she says “no.”
“Then allow me to introduce myself.”"
– Blastspark01
Playing Coy
"Once a girl came to me and told there was somebody who thought I was cute."
"I asked her who and she said “Me.""
– evil_boy4life
Prop Lines
"You have to have a handful of limes available to do this:"
"Hold the limes, drop the limes in front of the lucky person. Then say 'Sorry, I'm not very good at pick up limes.'"
– cannibalcats
Egg-cellent
"Best one that worked for me was:"
"Me: How do you like your eggs?"
"Her: Over easy, why?"
"Me: Just making sure I have things right for when I make you breakfast in the morning."
– Radiant_Boss4342
The Best Line
"How you doin?"
– 2x4x93
"There was a time when this was the ONLY line you could use!"
– JohnsLong_Silver
That line would definitely work on me!