Former Coma Patients Describe What It Was Like Being Trapped In Their Own Bodies
Former Coma Patients Describe What It Was Like Being Trapped In Their Own Bodies
[rebelmouse-image 18349605 is_animated_gif=It's so hard to imagine what it would be like to be in a coma, if you've never been in one. Is it like sleep? Do you maintain some level of consciousness? What exactly does it mean to be in a coma? What's so scary is scientists have almost no answers for us. It's impossible to replicate the level of consciousness from inside of a coma. Luckily, there are some surviving coma victims who can share with us.
Redditor lauren__95 asked the internet:
Here were some of the harrowing recounts.
Tears
[rebelmouse-image 18349606 is_animated_gif=My husband was put into a medically induced coma when he was 4 years old for 6 weeks, after a near death experience post-tonsillectomy (that's a whole other story - lead to the discovery of a very rare bleeding disorder.)
During the coma he could hear everything and he could feel. His family would notice tears, he was crying while comatose, and no one could figure it out, not even the doctors. Then one day his grandma got this idea that if he could cry, maybe he could feel, and if he could feel, maybe he's itchy. She scratched his whole body for him. The crying stopped. She did it every day till he woke up. He remembers feeling itchy and not being able to scratch. He also remembers the relief when his grandma started doing it for him.
Secondhand
[rebelmouse-image 18349607 is_animated_gif=I went into a coma, after spending 2 & 1/2 months semi-comatose. I may as well have been in a coma the entire time, since I have very little memory of what occurred that entire time, but then again, my memory sucks as a whole, thanks to this entire event. My seizure meds were no longer flushing through my system, and my body just started shutting down, til I ended up fully comatose. Apparently I was having what my sister called a never-ending seizure while in the coma, which led to my being tied to the bed. At one point, I felt my step-mother rubbing on my arm, while her and my sister told me to settle down. Shortly after, the dr told them to go ahead and begin funeral plans, but thankfully, not in my presence. However, the following afternoon, I began the slow process of waking up, pissed off because something was making a god awful noise and I couldn't open my eyes to figure out what it was. Come to find out, it was me, by swallowing against the tube in my throat. Terrifying experience overall, even if most of it has been relayed to me secondhand.
Family Respect
[rebelmouse-image 18347054 is_animated_gif=I don't remember anything from those 6 weeks; but I woke up angry with a family member who rarely visited and did/said dumb stuff around my comatose self. Apparently, when the doctors said I could hear, they weren't wrong. Was angry for quite a while.
Awake
[rebelmouse-image 18349608 is_animated_gif=In my case I was perfectly aware of everything going around me but trapped in a sleeping body. Couldn't move a single part of my body for myself but was able to hear, feel and even focus and see when the dr lift my eyelid. Very frightening. Luckily it only lasted a couple/three hours tops (it was caused by an unknown extreme allergy to opioids).
Opposite Effects
[rebelmouse-image 18349609 is_animated_gif=Short backstory, anesthetics don't work on me. I lose control of my body, but I can hear and feel everything. And I mean everything. My appendix burst a few years ago, I had surgery and I was comatose for 3 days because of the anesthesia. I felt every cut and every stitch, I heard the surgeon talking about his daughter's school play, I felt dad hugging me and crying after the surgery, but I couldn't react. I heard my brother yelling at the doctors why I wasn't awake yet, and my highschool friend talking to me.
This is why I'm scared to get that f-cker of a wisdom tooth removed. What if it happens again?
Probed
[rebelmouse-image 18349610 is_animated_gif=I was put into an induced coma for about 6 days after being struck by a taxi while crossing a road. I was blackout drunk when it happened so for the most part I don't remember anything from about the time I went out for the night to when I was properly woken up after my first surgery (facial reconstruction for my broken frontal bone). However, I was woken up periodically to check how responsive I was. The memories for this stretch of time were pretty hazy. The first thing I remember was waking up and freaking out about having a breathing tube down my throat. This was around the 5th day. Seriously freaked me the f-ck out tbh, it felt like I was being abducted by aliens.
To The Stars
[rebelmouse-image 18349612 is_animated_gif=I was once in a coma for 72 hours.
I remember seeing stars, and a voice telling me to count all the stars if I want to go back, I remember looking 'up' at them and telling the voice it's impossible, there are too many, then I started counting them...
Besides that, I just remember waking up and feeling groggy.
Strange but true.
1st time I've ever told that story.
Another World
[rebelmouse-image 18349613 is_animated_gif=I was in a coma for 11 days from an accident. The Neurologist(s), Internist, Nurses, etc told me I was one of the most 'agitated' Coma patients they had ever seen. They literally had to invent new, almost boxing-type gloves for my hands! But to answer your question, I do remember being in my coma sometimes...its been over a year, and I can still recollect the 'world' that I resided in for those 11 days as clearly now as when I woke up. Contrary to popular culture, one doesn't just "wake up" from a coma and are suddenly themselves. It's very gradual. Takes days. I remember being in a dream-like state, but in that 'dream' I could taste, touch, feel, hear, etc. Its weird. I remember choosing to wake up as well. I was on a cabana on the beach when a guy in his thirties (I can still see his face but he was a complete stranger) approached and spoke with me for a while. As he was talking, suddenly the buildings behind me, pieces of furniture, even people, start to fade away, and disappear altogether. He told me remain calm, and that I had a choice: I could remain where I was, or I could take a left, and walk down the beach to a 'tiki like shack' of sorts, where a Haitian woman would be waiting. I chose to walk. When I arrived at the shack, the woman asked me if I was ready, took me inside, had me lie down on a small, twin bed, and when I replied that I was ready now, I just...started to wake up. Once I 'woke up' from my coma, no matter how many times I floated in and out of consciousness, I could never return to that state again.
Crazy sh-t...
Fever Dreams
[rebelmouse-image 18349614 is_animated_gif=I was in a coma in 2007 after suffering Traumatic Brain Injury from crashing my head through a fence as the result of an ATV crash.
I had the craziest dreams, wow. I can still remember a couple of them pretty vividly. I feel like some of the things that were happening in real life were actually contributing to the dreams; for instance one involved the nurses and I got them to take me to a pig blood party in the hospital hallways. There was another wild one involving going through the drive through at mcdonald's in a jeep wrangler with a machine gun strapped to the top.
Week Gone
[rebelmouse-image 18349615 is_animated_gif=My coma was roughly a week but I don't remember anything from that week. I recall the ambulance ride (I had busted my head pretty badly) and know that I heard them saying I would be okay. When I woke up I thought it was still the same day. It was kind of like when you lay down to sleep and wake up eight hours later but it feels like you blinked. You know time passed but it feels like an instant. I tried to sit up but the doctor stopped me and talked to me until I was coherent. Apparently I had been in the process of coming around for about an hour by the time I tried to sit up.
My mom claims that I knew songs after my coma that I couldn't have heard before but I listened to so much radio back then I don't really know if that's accurate.
Another Life
[rebelmouse-image 18349616 is_animated_gif=throw away account cause this is really personal.
While unconscious on the ground I lived a different life.
I met a wonderful young lady, she made my heart skip and my face red, I pursued her for months and dispatched a few jerk boyfriends before I finally won her over, after two years we got married and almost immediately she bore me a daughter.
I had a great job and my wife didn't have to work outside of the house, when my daughter was two she [my wife] bore me a son. My son was the joy of my life, I would walk into his room every morning before I left for work and doted on him and my daughter.
One day while sitting on the couch I noticed that the perspective of the lamp was odd, like inverted. It was still in 3D but... just.. wrong. (It was a square lamp base, red with gold trim on 4 legs and a white square shade). I was transfixed, I couldn't look away from it. I stayed up all night staring at it, the next morning I didn't go to work, something was just not right about that lamp.
I stopped eating, I left the couch only to use the bathroom at first, soon I stopped that too as I wasn't eating or drinking. I stared at the lamp for 3 days before my wife got really worried, she had someone come and try to talk to me, by this time my cognizance was breaking up and my wife was freaking out. She took the kids to her mother's house just before I had my epiphany.... the lamp is not real.... the house is not real, my wife, my kids... none of that is real... the last 10 years of my life are not f-cking real!
The lamp started to grow wider and deeper, it was still inverted dimensions, it took up my entire perspective and all I could see was red, I heard voices, screams, all kinds of weird noises and I became aware of pain.... a f-cking sh-t ton of pain... the first words I said were "I'm missing teeth" and opened my eyes. I was laying on my back on the sidewalk surrounded by people that I didn't know, lots were freaking out, I was completely confused.
at some point a cop scooped me up, dragged/walked me across the sidewalk and grass and threw me face down in the back of a cop car, I was still confused.
I was taken to the hospital by the cop (seems he didn't want to wait for the ambulance to arrive) and give CT scans.
I went through about 3 years of horrid depression, I was grieving the loss of my wife and children and dealing with the knowledge that they never existed, I was scared that I was going insane as I would cry myself to sleep hoping I would see her in my dreams. I never have, but sometimes I see my son, usually just a glimpse out of my peripheral vision, he is perpetually 5 years old and I can never hear what he says.
Paralyzed
[rebelmouse-image 18349619 is_animated_gif=I was in a medical induced coma for a month when I was 8 years old. I could hear the people around me, I wanted to move but I could not I could not open my eyes.
When I did dream it was extremely vivid and mostly nightmares due to the medications I was on. I don't remember them now but my parents say that my heart rate would go up and I looked scared.
I never want to be in a coma again. I still get anxiety thinking about it, even though all I remember is being paralyzed. Not being able to open my eyes, but hearing my parents discussion was terrifying. I wanted to join in I wanted to move, but I couldn't even with my brushes with death this is the one experience I experience the most anxiety/fear from.
Egg Commitments
[rebelmouse-image 18349620 is_animated_gif=I can't speak to her experience as she didn't make it through, but my aunt was in a coma and responded to things we said. Around christmas, my mom said "if Sandy doesn't get up or isn't able, one of us will have to make the deviled eggs this year" and my Aunt's blood pressure spiked. My mom freaked out and said "sorry, we won't take your job from you Sandy" and it went back down as soon as it came.
Band Of Brothers
[rebelmouse-image 18349621 is_animated_gif=Personally I was never in a coma but my uncle worked on an oil rig that burnt down. In a small Canadian town named Flin Flon. He was on the top floor of a 15 story tower as it was on fire. The event is known as one of the more tragic events in the town and everyone who lives there knows about it and someone who was affected by it. All my uncles friends ended up dying except for my uncle. 80% of his body is burns and was in a coma for 2.5 months I think and says the entire time he was dreaming that he was a solider at war and his co-workers were his army pals and he watched them all die in the field and he said he thought it was all real.
Wall Of Clowns
[rebelmouse-image 18349622 is_animated_gif=Was in an induced coma for a week when I was 6.
I dreamt really weird sh-t. I dreamt of this red wall with red objects, slowly passing by in front of my eyes. I also dreamt of a few situations with people I knew (not even friends) where the room was really weirdly lit and it seemed like people were laughing at me. It was kind of scary, cause it I somehow felt something was wrong but there wasn't anything I could do to change it. Lastly, I dreamt of clowns that were laughing at me, but I think that was just me being high on morphine, cause I later heard that I was swearing like hell at the clowns who were supposed to cheer me up.
Trapped
[rebelmouse-image 18349624 is_animated_gif=I've been in a coma - don't remember a thing. It was basically just like a normal night of sleep, except a bit longer. I usually don't dream (or remember doing so), and nothing was really different about it.
I've also had sleep paralysis, and that's a completely different deal. After a long, sleepless night, I was waiting outside a classroom on campus, and sat down in a chair. The moment I leaned my head backward, everything blacked out. I was still completely conscious, but couldn't see anything, couldn't hear anything, and couldn't move a muscle. Right as I internally started panicking, I heard myself start snoring - like incredibly loud, almost cartoonish-level snoring. I desperately tried moving anything I could, mostly out of sheer embarrassment because it still sounded like I was snoring. What felt like minutes later, I finally managed to move an elbow slightly closer inward off of the armrest of my chair, which jolted me sideways a bit, waking me up. Vision and sound started flooding back in, and I immediately noticed that no one around seemed to notice or care that I was basically trapped inside myself for a few minutes. I never did find out if I was actually making any sounds or weird movements, but it was definitely an experience that I don't want to repeat.
I'd pick a coma over sleep paralysis any day.
Impostor Syndrome
[rebelmouse-image 18349625 is_animated_gif=Not me, but my mom. She had a minor procedure last year which went sideways (she developed acute pancreatitis and she went into shock); she slipped into a coma for two months.
She said that she could hear us from time to time, but it was all like a dream. For instance, my sis learned that she was pregnant on the same day my mom slipped into the coma and she told her about it while she was asleep - she woke up and remembered it.
She also had some really weird and vivid dreams. For instance, she was convinced (even after she woke up!) that I was replaced by an impostor. She also woke up angry at my dad about something that happened in a dream. My sister was the only one who she wasn't angry with. At least I know which of her children she loves more is.
Overdose
[rebelmouse-image 18349627 is_animated_gif=I had a short-term (1 night) medically induced coma after reacting violently to an anti-nausea medicine and then given an overdose (mistakenly) of antihistamine to stop the reaction.
I had crazy, vivid nightmares for 8 hours (probably induced by the overdose of antihistamine my body was trying to get rid of). I was never so happy to wake up in my life. I only have nightmares in normal life (never good dreams), so maybe someone else would've been just dreaming.
Late Knowledge
[rebelmouse-image 18349628 is_animated_gif=I was in a coma for 3 Days. It was as if I fell asleep waiting for a nurse and then instantly woke up in a hospital bed. Time travel is never a good thing. My blood sugar was at around 800. This is when I found out that I had childhood onset diabetes at the age of 22. I had lost 40 lbs in 3 months. Went from 6'2 185-145. Within a few days of waking up they had rehydrated my body and I gained most of my weight back. Pretty scary sh-t.
All I Ever Wanted
[rebelmouse-image 18349629 is_animated_gif=My wife was in a coma for several weeks. She was touch and go at first, thought we might lose her, so I didn't bring the kids up. About the 2nd week, after she has stabilized but still in a coma I finally brought the kids up.
While they were their I got them talking about past vacations. Asked them which was their favorite and we talked for a long while about road trip vacations we had taken...one to Nevada & Arizona and one to New Mexico. Then we talked about our what our next vacation should be and they were all into seeing more pueblos, mountains, deserts, caves, dormant volcanoes, canyons etc..kids were laughing and it was quite therapeutic overall.
Flash forward to about a month and a half later when my wife is out of the coma and she has completely real memories of a new vacation. In her mind she has a week long road trip from Texas to New Mexico, then Arizona and back...that never happened. Crazy.
The Moment People Realized They Married The Wrong Person
Reddit user tippytoes1216 asked: 'When did you realize you married the wrong person?'
You can say that some single people can be envious of those who are blinded by love.
You know the expression. A person who is blinded by love is when they are so deeply engrossed in the throes of passion with a lover that their relationship defies all logic.
On the one hand, that level of amorousness is romantic. But on the other hand, it can be totally deceiving.
People who are blinded by love tend to rush into things and make life-changing decisions that can come back to haunt them. Like getting married.
Curious to hear about regretful choices, Redditor tippytoes1216 asked strangers online:
"When did you realize you married the wrong person?"
Some realized gradually that something was off.
Losing A Sense Of Self
"One day I realized I had become a smaller version of myself."
– mlerin
"Yeah damn. I'm about a year past a really tough breakup, and this hits hard. My friends all tell me they like the new me. And it certainly feels easier to be me. I don't know why I ever let it be reduced. I think she left me with a bit of imposter syndrome, but it turns out I'm f'kin' dope."
– thefrenchflex
No More Exercising
"When she sat me down and with a straight face said 'I’ve thought about this and you’re not going to exercise anymore.'”
"I was jogging a few miles a day and would usually bring kids with in running stroller."
"She said you’re a father and it’s too time consuming. That’s when I realized I made a terrible mistake lol."
"Catching her with another man in my car didn’t help the case to stay married."
– JD054
This Woman's Work
"Engaged not quite married yet."
"When I had been on mandatory bedrest and caring for our infant son, after having emergency surgery... and he came home from work and looked me dead in the face and said 'why aren't the f**king dishes done?'"
"Called my mom the next morning and told her I was leaving. Hightailed it out of there 2 weeks later."
– Neverinfocus
Unfit Mother
"It was a death of a thousand cuts. One of the first was when I realized she didn't trust me. We had been together around 10 years at this point. But I had a moment of clarity and literally said to her 'you don't trust me do you?' Before she could answer I said 'you don't trust anybody.' And she agreed."
"She would routinely throw the kids out of the tub and the bathroom completely naked because they splashed her while getting a bath. And not just that, she would yell at the top of her lungs at how bad they were. The kids were around 2-4 at the time. God forbid the toddler splashes the water in the tub."
"Another time I don't even remember the cause but I tried to play mediator. As in 'ok daughter you did something wrong, let's apologize to mommy'. And she would. Then I'd ask mommy to apologize to our daughter for what for her role and mom absolutely refused to apologize. Ive known this lady more than 20 years and ive never heard her apologize. Literally never."
"The final straw was when one of our kids wanted a hug goodnight before bedtime. She locked herself in our bedroom and refused the hug because she had hugged them earlier in the day. Kids were crying. They didn't understand. I was devastated watching this unfold. Why doesn't mom want to hug me?"
"I try my best to not let it impact me. But we share custody now and I have to watch how she interacts with our kids. Its hard. The best consolidation is the kids are getting older and they're starting to figure it out."
– overarmur
Unworthy Companion
"When I realized if we weren’t dating I wouldn’t have wanted to be his friend."
– dawn855
Some found out on the day of the nuptials.
"No Ice Cream Truck"
"On the wedding day…. She spent a fortune on unnecessary things, and I knew I’d be the one fitting the bill on the credit card she ran up. So I told her no more, she said she wanted an ice cream vendor there (we already had two dessert bars) told her it was not needed. She fought me on it but finally agreed. Wedding day comes, I’m standing with my groomsmen, in comes the ice cream truck. Knew right then, sadly."
– StrangeJitsu
Inebriated Bride
"On my wedding day. We were married at her Parents house, a beautiful place on a private country club. The entire day was all about her, and she spent more time hanging out with her friend and getting drunk than with me. I stayed busy visiting with all the guests during the day. After all the guests left and it was down to her parents and me, I find her passed out drunk upstairs in a bedroom. I picked her up and carried her to our car to take her home. Needless to say our wedding night consisted of her sleeping it off. 5 years later she went in to in-patient treatment and after she sobered up and was released, she told me that she didn't love me and wanted a divorce."
– metrology84
So much for the honeymoon.
True Colors
"It was actually almost immediately after getting married. Our relationship had taken a nose dive as soon as we moved in together. But after we got married, while we were in Greece on our honeymoon, he absolutely lost his mind on me in public. I had wanted to go see a beach on the island that is supposed to be one of the most beautiful in the world, so we tried to catch the bus, but it never came. He screamed at me, telling me he hated traveling with me and how could I ruin his vacation like this. Then we walked to the beach nearby and he went swimming with his two friends who he insisted come with us on the trip. I was too stunned and humiliated to do anything except sit on a beach chair and cry."
– gridironbuffalo
China Was Telling
"Got married. Went on a honeymoon in China. We were both PhD students at the time. I was working class. Her family was middle class. Her father gave her 10,000 $ for the honeymoon."
"So we go to China to celebrate AND she wants to do some light pre dissertation research while there for a month or two. Fine."
"It turns out, I spent the entire two months alone in tiny hostels, while she did research. I only spoke a few words of Mandarin and I was a broke graduate student, so I couldn’t really afford to/didn’t have the means to easily get to an airport to fly back home (also had 0 family support back home, even if I did manage to make it home). I felt trapped."
"I talked to her about how the trip felt like a research trip and not at all like a honeymoon, how I was alone almost everyday."
"We were sharing a laptop while in the trip (I was too poor to own a laptop, despite being in grad school). I open the laptop one morning before she leaves to go survey a field site without me. Her email is open. She left a message open on the laptop. It’s to her father, stating she wishes I wasn’t there on the trip - our honeymoon. Again, I was told this would be a honeymoon w/ maybe a slight detour for research. It turned out to be a research trip where I was a burden."
"She apologized. We stayed together for a few more years after she got sick and I became a caretaker. I wish, in hindsight, I had left China after reading that email."
– Mtt76812
It's pretty painful to realize that the person with whom you're sleeping next to is not, or never was, your person.
But if there's a glimmer of hope that you and your spouse are willing to put in the work for the sake of a troubled marriage, that's a very redeemable quality.
Sadly, this doesn't apply to all couple, and the best thing to do is to abandon ship before further emotional damage is done.
It's safe to say that the conventions of romantic relationships have greatly evolved over time.
As evidenced by the ever-growing number of people in open or polyamorous relationships.
Leaving one to wonder, what exactly constitutes "cheating" in this day and age.
Of course, this could be a personal decision, based on the ground rules people set in their own relationships.
Even so, one can't help but question if there are some instances that are always cheating, whether or not the relationship is monogamous.
"What do you consider cheating in a relationship?"
Anything HE Does...
"My ex felt that me having a conversation about anything at all with anyone else was cheating, but her literally getting sexed by other men was OK."- GoodToe4691
Spoilers!!!
"Watching an episode alone of a show we started together."- Happy-Sea-Otter
When You Commit, You COMMIT!
"Being sentimentally or physically involved with someone else that isn't your partner."- a_man_of_music
"Doing anything sexual or romantic with someone else."- jellyfishmasquerade
orlando bloom cheating GIFGiphyThink About How You Would Feel...
"My rule of thumb is if I wouldn't like it done to me I shouldn't be doing it myself."
"I know that's vague."
"But leaves you to draw the line where you want."- SureAce_
Anything That Isn't Out In The Open...
"Beyond the obvious (sex/kissing with another person), it can also be based on intent."
"For instance, dinner could be cheating if it was kept hidden or with an ex, etc."
"Depends a lot on context."- dogwatermoneybags
"Anything you do with another person you feel like you have to hide from me, I consider cheating."- nopestillgotit
Shocked Oh No GIF by LaffGiphySubtle Manipulation
"Not paying enough of the rent in Monopoly and using smile and cuddle to get away with it."- Dendex031
You Set Your Own Rules So You Will Never Break Them...
"Pretty much breaking any agreed upon 'rules' in your relationship."- Massive-Ad7628
"Whatever an individual couple agrees on as being cheating within the context of their relationship."-JanuaryWinterflame
"Breaking the rules of loyalty, trust, and honesty in your relationship."
"If you're monogamous, that means engaging in sexual and/or romantic activity with anyone other than your partner."
"If you're non-monogamous, that means doing engaging in sexual and/or romantic activities with people other than your partners without telling both the new person and the partners that's what you're doing."
'Basically if you're sneaking around and lying to people just to get extra attention outside of your relationships, you're 99% likely to be cheating."- GenericNerdGirl
GiphyWhen You Know You're Getting In Too Deep...
"Back when I was still college aged, I learned this lesson the hard way."
"I could be a bit of a harmless flirt, but I would never cheat on my girlfriend."
"Then one night I got drunk with a friend of my girlfriend’s."
"After a night of ‘harmless flirting’ and drunk Twister, I ended up in her bed, on top of her."
"She whispered in my ear 'If you tried to f*ck me right now, I wouldn’t stop you'.”
"That snapped me back to reality, made me realize how real things had gotten and that I had gone too far."
"I apologized and I left."
"I told my girlfriend about it, because I knew that if I tried to hide it and her friend told her about it, it would be even worse."
"I never kissed her."
"I didn’t f*ck her."
"No one was naked."
"However, the fact that I had essentially been 5 seconds away from doing all of those things while in her bed massively betrayed the trust my girlfriend had for me."
"She wasn’t able to look at me the same way."
"I was genuinely remorseful, and learned my lesson, but it didn’t really matter."
"We tried to keep it together for a few more months, but she eventually left me over it, and I can’t say that I blame her."
"I was flung into a long spiral of depression, and it was worse knowing that it was all my fault."
"Cheating isn’t just about a physical, sexual act."
"You can cheat on someone without f*cking someone else."
"It’s about a betrayal of trust."
"And to go a step further, it’s your responsibility in a relationship to foster that trust by intentionally avoiding situations that could bring temptation or otherwise sketch out your partner."
"For example, don’t hang out with other girls one on one and get drunk with them, even if you know you don’t intend to do anything sexual with them."- Thograr
When The Connection Starts To Be Emotional
"I used to think it was only physical stuff, but seeing your partner drift away from you into the arms of someone else reeeally stings."
"So, basically entertaining the idea and keeping in contact with someone they might have a small/temporary crush on is a dealbreaker for me nowadays."- soapshirt
season 6 episode 3 GIFGiphyBy definition, cheating is when you are doing something blatantly wrong, or deceitful.
Which sometimes could mean kissing someone who isn't your partner.
Unless they are aware and ok with it.
One thing I'm sure everyone can agree with: nothing is more unforgivable than forging ahead on a series without waiting for your significant other.
...definitely not speaking from experience...
History is shaped by mistakes. Some lead to monumental leaps forward in human understanding. Most do not. Of those in the second category, many are simply embarrassing, and result in a good bar story. Meanwhile, other have simply disastrous consequences. Below are 48 of the biggest mistakes that have been committed in history.
1. He Should Have Accepted the Offer
Google signPhoto by Pawel Czerwinski on UnsplashIn 1999, the founders of Google approached Excite CEO George Bell, offering to sell him the search engine for $1 million. When Bell refused, they lowered the price to $750,000, which he also rejected. Today, Google is valued at over $300 billion.
2. We’ll Pass
person holding black android smartphonePhoto by Dimitri Karastelev on UnsplashIn 2009, Facebook turned down a pair of programmers for jobs. No big deal, right? Must happen all the time at FB HQ...
A few years later, though, the pair developed WhatsApp. Facebook subsequently purchased that venture for a cool $19 billion.
3. Trains Were Too Wide
a silver train pulling into a train stationPhoto by Jametlene Reskp on UnsplashThe French state railway SNCF spent $15 billion on a new fleet of trains, but unfortunately, they were the wrong size and were too wide for their 1300 platforms. The mistake cost them an estimated $50 million to correct.
4. A Case of Bad Timing
File:Napoleon at Fontainebleau, 31 March 1814 (by Hippolyte Paul ...commons.wikimedia.orgJust over 200 years ago, Napoleon’s army attempted to invade Russia.
Whoops.
A combination of factors spelled doom for the invasion. There wasn't nearly enough food for the men and horses. Poor discipline was rampant in the ranks. And, of course, none of the men were prepared for the unimaginable brutality of a full Russian winter.
It was a devastating failure. Napoleon lost 500,000 troops.
5. Infidelity is Expensive
File:Tiger Woods June 2014 (cropped).jpg - Wikipediaen.wikipedia.orgTiger Woods’s admission of multiple illicit affairs with women cost him his wife and $750 million. He also lost his sponsorships with Gatorade and others, but even worse, the shareholders of the companies with Tiger Woods endorsements lost an estimate $5 to $12 billion dollars in the wake of the scandal.
6. Gambled and Lost
selective focus photography of bubblePhoto by Daniel Hansen on UnsplashThe Spanish telecom company Terra took a gamble when they purchased the search engine Lycos in 2000 for almost $12 billion. At the time, Lycos was the third most visited site in America...but that was before the dot com bubble burst. In just about a year, most internet companies in America lost millions in value. And Lycos was perhaps the biggest loser.
Terra would eventually sell the search engine in 2004 for just $95.4 million. That's an astonishing loss of $11.6 billion dollars on their investment.
7. I Accidentally Taped Over It!
Buzz Aldrin on the moon in front of the US flagPhoto by NASA on UnsplashBack in the days of data tapes, it was easy to accidentally tape over earlier recordings. Unfortunately for NASA, that’s exactly what they did, and the original tapes of the moon landing were erased and re-used. Luckily, they were able to restore the original broadcast and offer the world a glimpse of the historic event.
The admission that NASA accidentally erased the original footage had fed rocket fuel to conspiracy theorists, who already believed the entire lunar program that landed people on the moon six times between 1969 and 1972 was staged on a Hollywood set.
8. The Worst Nuclear Accident in U.S. History
File:Exelon Three Mile Island Nuclear Generating Station.jpg ...commons.wikimedia.orgThe nuclear meltdown at Three Mile Island in March of 1979 was the result of mechanical failures that were made worse by poor training and oversights in the human-computer interaction design. It was the most significant nuclear disaster in U.S. commercial nuclear power plant history.
There are conflicting reports on the cost of the disaster, with some sources stating that the radiation exposure wasn't significant enough to result in additional instances cancer, while others insist the radiation caused thousands of cases.
9. Loss of Cultural Knowledge
File:The Great Library of Alexandria - Colorized.jpg - Wikimedia ...commons.wikimedia.orgThe Great Library of Alexandria was one of the largest and most significant libraries of the ancient world, and was dedicated to the Muses—the 9 goddesses of the Arts.
The burning of the library resulted in an irreplaceable loss of knowledge and literature.
10. Didn’t Understand the Food Chain
File:Mao Zedong 1959 (cropped).jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgFrom 1958-1962, Chairman Mao Zedong of China launched the “Four Pests Campaign,” which would exterminate rats, flies, mosquitoes, and sparrows. What they didn’t realize was that sparrows ate a large number of insects. Without the sparrows to eat them, locust populations grew and created an ecological imbalance that exacerbated the Great Chinese Famine, which claimed the 15-30 million deaths.
That's right, when Chairman Mao Zedong ordered the extermination of sparrows, he accidentally sentenced 15 million citizens to death, all because he didn't realize that sparrows were mission critical for pest control.
11. Is That Leaning?
people walking on green grass field near white concrete building during daytimePhoto by Jainam Mehta on UnsplashThe Leaning Tower of Pisa is a free-standing bell tower in the city of Pisa Italy.
The tower is famous for its lean, but that wasn’t by design. The foundation for the tower was built on ground that was too soft to support its weight, and it started to lean during construction.
12. Threw Away Millions
black and red UK flag pedal trash bin near white wooden doorPhoto by Steve Johnson on UnsplashA lottery winner in England lost $181 million when her husband accidentally threw away her winning ticket. The woman knew the announced numbers were hers, because she always wrote them down on a separate sheet of paper before giving the ticket to her husband.
13. Brought Down by Foam
File:Space Shuttle Columbia launching.jpg - Wikipediaen.wikipedia.orgOn Feb 1, 2003, the Space Shuttle Columbia disastrously disintegrated on re-entry, claiming the lives of all seven crew members. Back when the shuttle launched, a piece of foam fell from the shuttle’s external tank and punctured the shuttle’s wing, causing damage that made the rocket unable to withstand re-entry.
NASA knew about the problem when it occurred, and came under scrutiny for their negligence.
14. Cutting Corners
Deepwater Horizon - Wikipediaen.wikipedia.orgIn April 2010, a BP oil rig burst in the Gulf of Mexico, pushing nearly five million barrels of oil from the well. It was eventually determined that years of BP favoring speed over safety and cutting corners were the true causes of the accident.
15. Couldn’t Corner the Market
white and black striped textilePhoto by Andrew Kliatskyi on UnsplashYasuo Hamanaka, the former chief copper trader at Sumitomo in Japan attempted to corner the market (get enough market share to manipulate the price) on copper back in 1996.
Before prices dropped and the scheme collapsed, Sumitomo controlled as much as 5% of the world’s copper. He was known as "Mr. Copper" because of his aggressive trading style. On June 13, 1996, Sumitomo Corporation reported a loss of US$1.8 billion caused by unauthorized copper trading by Hamanaka on the London Metal Exchange. It was later revealed that the true losses caused by Hamanka totaled $2.6 billion dollars.
16. Should Have Prepared for Winter
File:RIAN archive 301 An attack.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgIn June of 1941, Hitler was riding high on his victories and was determined to claim the Russian territories to fulfill Germany’s destiny. Convinced that he would easily win, he ignored the warnings of his military, and reportedly told them that “We have only to kick in the front door and the whole rotten Russian edifice will come tumbling down." Thanks to some strategical miscalculations on the German generals' part, and their unpreparedness for Russian winter, the Germans were eventually forced to retreat.
17. That’s Not the System We Used!
a red planet with a black backgroundPhoto by Planet Volumes on UnsplashA group of Lockheed engineers used Imperial units of measurement to build the Mars Orbiter, but the rest of the team used Metric. The use of two different systems caused the spacecraft to approach Mars on a trajectory that brought it too close to the plane. It disintegrated as it passed through the upper atmosphere. The mistake cost NASA approximately $125 million back in 1999.
18. Guitar Groups are Out
File:Beatles ad 1965 just the beatles crop.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgDick Rowe, an A&R man at Decca Records at the time of the Beatles’ audition, is known in history as "the man who turned down the Beatles." Sources that after Rowe first heard the Fab Four, he told their manager that “Groups with guitars are on their way out.”
After their rejection, he went on to sign the Rolling Stones and several other famous groups, but missing out on the Beatles was a big one: The Beatles have sold 600 million albums worldwide and 177 million in the United States alone.
19. They Defeated Themselves
<a href="http://api.aucklandmuseum.com/id/media/v/93335">commons.wikimedia.org</a>
On September 18, 1788, during their conflict with Turkey, a group of Austrian soldiers bought some hard beverages from a band of locals in the town of Karansebes. They had too much and began to shout that the Turks were coming.
Mass confusion ensued (partly due to language barriers), panicked men began firing at the supposed "Turkish invaders" and by the morning, 10,000 of their own men were dead. With Friends like that, who needs enemies?
20. Safety First.
Free Images : live, equipment, spray, training, flame, fire ...pxhere.comOil workers on the Piper Bravo Oil Rig were evacuated after an explosion killed 167 of the 226 men working on the rig in July of 1988. A safety inspector forgot to replace a valve after a routine check, and when a worker (unaware that a valve was missing) pushed the start button, gas leaked out.
21. Poked the Wrong Bear
File:YuanEmperorAlbumGenghisPortrait.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgThe Sultan of the Khwarezm Empire in present-day Turkmenistan, Uzbekistan, Afghanistan, and Iran had agreed to a trade treaty with Genghis Khan, but when the caravan arrived, the Governor of Otrar seized the goods and had all but one of the merchants killed.
Khan then sent a delegation to the Shah to demand punishment, and he responded by shaving the heads of the ambassadors and sending the interpreter home headless. Kahn retaliated by invading and conquering Otrar.
22. A Not-So-Controlled Burn
a large fire is burning in the mountainsPhoto by Mike Newbry on UnsplashIn 2000, the Cerro Grande fire in New Mexico began as a controlled blaze, but things quickly turned into a disaster. High winds and drought let the fire spread rapidly, and soon authorities had completely lost control. The fire burned for more than a month, destroying 48,000 acres, and displacing more than 400 families.
23. Blind Belief
File:Fukushima radiation dose map 2011-04-29.png - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgThe triple meltdowns at the Fukushima Number 1 power plant occurred largely because the Japanese government had a blind belief that the plants were so safe, a major disaster was impossible—despite warnings that the aging plants were vulnerable. The accident will take an estimated 40 years and billions of dollars to clean up.
24. They Should Have Listened
underwater photography of titanicPhoto by NOAA on UnsplashStop me if you've heard this one...
In April 1912, the largest passenger ship ever built began its maiden voyage across the Atlantic from England to New York. It would never finish the trip.
The Titanic was called "unsinkable". It wasn't. The ship sank in the early morning hours of April 15, after crashing into an iceberg and taking on water.
Long before the actual incident, the Titanic's crew received warnings about icebergs in the area. In the interest of saving time, the warnings were ignored. That mistake claimed the lives of 1,517 people.
25. Billion-Dollar Write-Down
File:Sony Movies Logo.svg - Wikipediaen.wikipedia.orgSony thought that they were making a smart purchase when they scooped up Columbia Pictures for $3.4 billion in 1989. The cost of the deal increased when they had to spend $200 million on another production company, and another $500 million to settle a lawsuit. In the end, they were forced to take a 3.2-billion-dollar write-down on the acquisition.
26. They Thought It Was Useless
Sydney Opera House, AustraliaPhoto by Photoholgic on UnsplashDutch navigators extensively explored Australia almost a century before Captain James Cook claimed it for Great Britain in 1770, but they chose not to settle there because it failed to live up to their expectations. The island had been fabled to be overflowing with gold and giants, and they were disappointed by the seemingly barren coastline.
27. Equipment Failure
flying stealth plane during dayPhoto by Matt Artz on UnsplashAmerica’s most expensive jet was destroyed on a practice flight in Guam when faulty sensors caused the plane to stall on take-off and crash. Luckily, both pilots were able to eject safely.
28. They Wished They’d Kept It
brown wooden signage on gray sand during daytimePhoto by Alexis Mette on UnsplashAt the end of the Crimean War, Russia was weakened and had very little money, and they knew that Britain could simply take over their Alaskan territory if they wished. As far as the Tsar was concerned, it was just a useless piece of barren land, so he decided to sell it to the United States, rather than lose it to their British enemies.
Neither party knew about the gold and oil that lay beneath the land. If they had, Russia likely wouldn’t have sold it for 2 cents an acre.
29. There Was No Feast
brown concrete statue under blue sky during daytimePhoto by Azzedine Rouichi on UnsplashIn 1532, Conquistador Fransisco Pizarro lured the Inca ruler Atahualpa to a supposed feast in his honor. It turned out to be a trap. Pizarro’s men massacred 80,000 Inca warriors, and captured Atahualpa. As a final humiliation, Pizarro forced Atahualpa to convert to Christianity before executing him.
30. An Unsuccessful Merger
blue audi coupe parked on green grass field during daytimePhoto by Udo Meyer on UnsplashUnfortunately for Mercedes Benz, their 1998 merger with Chrysler failed to work out as planned, and less than a decade later in 2007, Mercedes sold the company for $7 billion—about $13 billion less than they’d paid for it.
31. Hydrogen Is Flammable
File:Hindenburg burning.jpg - Wikipediaen.m.wikipedia.orgThe Hindenburg disaster marked the end of the airship era, claiming all 35 passengers and one member of the ground crew. The airship caught fire because of a spark that ignited leaking hydrogen. As the Germans discovered, hydrogen is an extremely flammable and dangerous substance, and using it to fill airships perhaps wasn’t the smartest idea.
32. Fire and Blood
silhouette of trees during night timePhoto by Henrique Malaguti on UnsplashA hunter was responsible for starting the biggest fire in California’s history back in 2003. He lost a lit signal flare near the San Diego County Estates and the fire spread. Close to 300,000 acres and 2,322 homes were destroyed. 14 people also lost their lives.
33. Who Left the Gate Open?
brown concrete building under blue sky during daytimePhoto by Raimond Klavins on UnsplashForgetting to close a gate isn’t normally that big a deal--unless you’re the unfortunate Roman who forgot to close the Kerkoporta Gate at Constantinople. That unfortunate soul single-handedly lost a siege.
You see, the walls of Constantinople were generally regarded to be impregnable. This contributed to a sense of confidence and security for the Roman defenders, who were under siege by a much larger Ottoman force.
So when one Roman guard accidentally left the gate open at night, a group of 50 Ottomans was able to sneak in under cover of night, slaughtering the Roman guards and raising their flag on the walls. This caused panic in the Roman ranks, who were left with the impression that the city had somehow been conquered overnight. The resulting loss of morale helped the Ottomans to actually conquer and loot the city with a subsequent invasion.
34. Abandoning the Navy
File:Zheng He Treasure Ship (15832736462).jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.org500 or so years ago, China had one of the greatest seafaring fleets in the world. They boasted 5 times the size of those being built in Europe.
By 1525, the entire fleet had been destroyed. Chinese elites urged the government to destroy their own fleet, concerned about the rising status of the middle class who had benefited from the international trade that the "Treasure Fleet" enabled. The vessels were either set aflame or left to rot at port. Economists believe this act crippled China's economy and drastically reduced its world influence.
35. Serial Infidelity
Mining Magnate Dmitri Rybolovlev allegedly slept with other women on his yacht, leading his wife to accuse him of "serial infidelity." The divorce battle that ensued forced him to sell assets to raise cash for the settlement.
36. A Fatal Wrong Turn
File:HGM Wilhelm Vita Porträt Franz Ferdinand.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgWho would have imagined that a wrong turn could turn the entire world on its head? That’s what happened on June 14, 1914, when Archduke Ferdinand’s driver made a wrong turn. He turned down the road where the assassin Gavrilo Princip was enjoying a sandwich. The driver, realizing his mistake, slammed on the brakes and caused the car to stall, which gave Princip the opportunity to fire into the car at close range.
37. Great Ideas That Didn’t Work
classic teal sedan near house during daytimePhoto by Peter Secan on UnsplashIn 1957, Ford introduced the Edsel.
The car was a massive gamble. For a year before its release, Ford spent millions on a teaser campaign, which billed the as-yet-unseen Edsel as the car of the future.
Turns out, it wasn't.
The car was introduced with fanfare and excitement... but Ford would stop production in 1959, just two years after the initial sale. Unfortunately for Ford, it failed to live up to the hype created by their advertising campaign. The whole debacle cost them an estimated $250 million.
38. A Strategical Error
File:Pearl Harbor submarine base in the early 1930s.jpg ...commons.wikimedia.orgThe U.S. had three aircraft carriers assigned to Pearl Harbor at the time of the Japanese attack, but they had been displaced on missions on the day of the attack. The Japanese had received intelligence that the carriers weren’t there, but decided that it wasn’t important. This turned out to be the wrong decision, as those aircraft carriers later helped the U.S. win the fight against Japan.
39. A Flaw in the Design
File:IAEA 02790015 (5613115146).jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgOn 26th April 1986, engineers at the V.I. Lenin Nuclear Power Station, a Soviet facility, were testing a new cooling system designed to reduce the risk of a meltdown. Their test caused a meltdown, and the resulting explosion destroyed Chernobyl’s reactor 4.
The Chernobyl Forum predicts that the eventual toll could reach 4,000 among those exposed to the highest levels of radiation. That said, what many people don't know is that the plant actually remained a fully-functioning power plant for years after the disaster.
The disaster destroyed reactor 4, but reactors 1-3 remained open for business. Due to high levels of radiation, plant employees could no longer live beside the facility, but many continued to commute to work to supply power in Europe. The final reactor only ceased operating in 2000.
40. Lost His Hard Drive
gold and silver round coinsPhoto by Kanchanara on UnsplashIn 2009, James Howells bought 7,500 bitcoin when they weren’t worth anything, and by 2013, they had risen to a value of 613 British pounds each, giving him a multi-million dollar portfolio. The only problem was that he’d thrown away the hard drive where the bitcoins were stored.
When he realized his mistake, he went to the landfill to try and recover it, but he was unable to locate it.
41. A Costly Spelling Mistake
Petition to File For BankruptcyPhoto by Melinda Gimpel on UnsplashThe British government was sued for £9 million after a clerical error resulted in the wrong company being recorded as in liquidation. Companies House mistakenly mistook a 124-year-old Welsh company called “Taylor and Sons” for a bankrupt company “Taylor and Son” due to a clerical error that inserted an extra ‘s’ onto a liquidation notice. The mistake cost 250 people their jobs.
42. Too Easy to Copy
Day 250: Summer Addiction | I was first introduced to Snappl… | Flickrwww.flickr.comWhen Quaker purchased Snapple for $1.4 billion in 1994, their goal was to sell it in every grocery store in the country. But Snapple was so successful in the smaller brand-name grocery stores that companies like Pepsi and Coca-Cola made their own copycat brands. Quaker sold Snapple after just three years for significantly less than what they paid.
43. Don’t Drink and Steer
File:Exxon Valdez Cleanup.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgIn 1989, an Exxon oil tanker was headed to California when it ran aground on the Bligh Reef off the Alaskan coast. The tanker spilled around 760,000 barrels of oil into the water, and the captain was later accused of being drunk at the time of the accident. He was convicted of negligent discharge of oil.
44. A Fat Finger Trade
textPhoto by jun rong loo on UnsplashA Japanese trader cost his company nearly $2 million when he accidentally sold 610,000 shares for 1 yen, instead of 1 share at 610,000 yen. It was a “fat-finger keyboard error”, a mistake in which a trader places a buy/sell order at a far greater size than intended.
45. You Can’t Dock Here!
yellow and blue abstract paintingPhoto by Didssph on UnsplashWhen a storm caused one of the 12 oil tanks on the MV Prestige to burst, the captain called for help from Spanish rescue workers, expecting to bring the vessel into the harbor before it sank. Because the Spanish, French, and Portuguese governments refused to allow the ship to dock in their ports, the ship eventually split in half and sank, releasing over 20 million gallons of oil into the sea.
46. No Heir, No Empire
File:Alexander the Great mosaic.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgAlexander the Great succeeded in forging the largest Western empire of the ancient world-- only for it to fall apart because he never named an heir.
Shortly before he gave his last breath, Alexander was asked who should succeed him. He responded simply, “the strongest"...as though that was a helpful answer.
As it turns out, men who've spent their lives conquering much of the known world tend to be a little competitive. Upon his passing, Alexander's generals immediately vied to fill the power vacuum... leaving his carefully crafted empire to crumble.
47. Houston We Have A Mistake
January 28, 1986 – Space Shuttle Challengerwww.history.navy.milApproximately 17% of Americans were watching on the morning of January 28, 1986, as the Space Shuttle Challenger launched toward space. Onboard were 6 NASA astronauts, as well as Payload Specialist Christa McAuliffe, who was set to become the first teacher in space.
Tragedy struck just 72 seconds after liftoff. Gasses in the external fuel tank mixed, exploded, and tore the shuttle apart. All 7 crew members were lost.
Prior to the disaster, the builder of the solid-rocket boosters advised NASA that they believed the O-ring seals in the solid-rocket boosters could fail at extremely low temperatures. On the day of the launch, the temperature was 15 degrees colder than any previous launch in history.
48. Rejected Harry Potter
J.K. Rowling’s literary agency received 12 rejections for Harry Potter. When the 8-year-old daughter of an editor at Bloomsbury demanded to read the rest of the book, Bloomsbury finally agreed to publish it...but also advised Rowling to "get a day job" as there was little chance of making any money with children’s books.
We get it adulting is hard.
But there are some things in life that don't require much beyond a high school education, yet so many people are clueless–particularly when it comes to matters of health and safety practices.
Curious to hear from baffled doctors and nurses about dealing with certain types of patients, Redditor babyhippo01 asked:
"Medical professionals of Reddit, have you ever had a patient so lacking in common sense you wondered how they made it this far. If so, what is your story?"
It's not rocket science.
Reading Instructions
"There is a reason the instructions for prescription suppositories say 'unwrap and insert' and not just 'insert.'"
– Artisanal_AF
An Afterthought
"I’m a pharmacist. One evening shift I was working a relief shift (not my usual pharmacy). A man comes in looking distressed."
"Man: I had sexual relations with a woman I do not intend to pursue a long term relationship with. (Yes. He said it just like that)"
"Me: okay. I’m assuming there was an accident or it was unprotected. How long ago did it happen?"
"Man: last night, at 7pm on the couch. (Woah TMI, I just need to know approximate time to know if plan B will work o.o)"
"Me: we have this medication called Plan B, and since the incident happened within 72 hours-"
"Man: oh yes, I got that for her already yesterday right after we finished. We want to know if there is anything we can do to know if she is pregnant now."
"Me: unfortunately not. She’ll have to wait 3 weeks or so to see if she gets her period, and if she doesn’t then she can do a pregnancy test then. Theoretically you could do a blood test for faster results, but that would also not be until a couple of weeks, at least."
"Man: we’re just really anxious because she really doesn’t want to be pregnant. Is there anything that she can take to prevent the pregnancy? Any multivitamin? Minerals? Food?"
"Me: she’s already taken it, which was the plan B. There are some other options but those are prescriptions. And no, there are no over-the-counter products she can take."
"Man: What about me? Is there anything I can take now to prevent the pregnancy? Any multivitamins or minerals?"
"Me:……………………………..No sir. There isn’t anything you can take now."
– V_imaginary
"Improper Specimen"
"73 here, former clinical microbiologist, LONG ago."
"Still, I found myself all over the clinical lab at times, not just infectious disease."
"So, one day, this 20-something guy (wife and mom in tow) walks in with a paper request for semen analysis, pre-computer era."
"Ok, not the most comfortable encounter, but I'm a professional and did this drill many times."
"He had not been briefed by the doc and had no idea how establishing infertility in males was done."
"Well, OK, a challenge, then."
"I took him aside and... using standard medical terminology told him how a diagnosis is made and what he needed to do to provide a specimen."
"He couldn't/wouldn't believe that I was asking him to masturbate into that container. Astonished!"
"Then he played dumb, as if the word was unfamiliar to him."
"We looped through the medical terms and procedure again, and I eventually resorted to every word I knew to describe the 'act.'"
"It was like a George Carlin bit!"
"A half hour later, he emerged from the toilet with two inches of urine in the cup. God Almighty."
"The report went back 'patient provided improper specimen.'"
– BrunoGerace
The following examples are relating to drinking problems.
The Giver Of Life
"Paramedic. Elderly woman complains that her mouth is dry and she felt a bit dizzy climbing the stairs earlier. Go through the whole rigamarole of getting a medical history, vitals, more detail on symptoms. Ask her what she's had to drink today."
"A cup of tea, ten hours ago."
"Any water? No."
"Guess what fixed it within five minutes."
– SpatchcockMcGuffin
Java Junkie
"Physical Therapist - Had a patient with neck pain and spasms, also complained of anxiety and heart palpitations. Asked about caffeine intake and patient revealed drinking and average on 15-20 cups of coffee daily."
– jdotbrone
Oh, you're not ready for these stories.
Man At The Mower
"Had a buddy who was an EMT, he was called out to a location for a gunshot wound."
"Apparently what happened is a father was mowing his lawn when he accidentally touched part of the mower near the engine and burned his hand. He got mad at the lawnmower, pulled out his pistol, and shot it. The bullet ricocheted and hit his son in the leg."
– Kretuhtuh
Immaculate Misconception
"Not me but my mother would pick up shifts as a nurse sometimes in Labour and Delivery and she had met a handful of women who didn’t know the baby was going to be coming out of their vaginas. Like no clue. My mom usually said something like 'how you got it in is how it’s coming out honey'. This was the late 90 early 2000s."
– QuailPuzzled1286
One Small Detail
"Rural ER doc here: 35 year old female walks in with right sided jaw/neck swelling. 'I think it happened because I ate some meat yesterday that my body is reacting to' … 10 minutes later : 'oh yeah, and I accidentally swallowed a bee and it stung me in my mouth right before this happened. Sorry I forgot to mention that.'"
– ThomasToHandle
Parents might be blamed for their kids' intelligence levels.
Some teachers could be responsible for overlooking teaching the basics.
Or maybe it's the rural locale where they were born and raised having something to do with it.
Whatever the circumstances, it's confounding that anyone capable of communicating and thinking for themselves can be so oblivious.