"Let Me Tell You A Tale..."
[rebelmouse-image 18349566 is_animated_gif=Chuck E. Cheese was a landmark destination of the late-80s and early-90s for pizza and video game fun. It's popularity in the mainstream took a dive in the last two decades, thanks to the home video game consoles and ease of delivery pizza. Though, an argument could be made that "Five Nights at Freddy's" has helped the corporate fun house regain some of its customer base. But, nothing as terrible as child murder had ever happened at a Chuck E. Cheese...right?
Reddit user, u/arandomkid2, wanted to know about the worst moments in Chuck E. Cheese's house when they asked:
Former and current Chuck E. Cheese workers, what are some of the worst things to happen to you while working?
A Cake Disaster
[rebelmouse-image 18349567 is_animated_gif=One time at Chuck E. Cheese when I was working there some food fight broke out and one kid chucked his entire cake straight at chucky and the he cried about how "he didn't get a cake". The kids mom went into the bathroom and she was in there for a good 15 minutes, I went in there to ask what was up and I saw her having a mental breakdown, turns out she spent hours making that cake special for him, and it was all ruined in about 30 seconds
Stab E. Pencil
[rebelmouse-image 18349568 is_animated_gif=I was the technician at a Chuck E. Cheese in high school. One day i was covering someone and I had to wear the suit and do the show. On my way back to the room, a little kid runs up to see Chuck E, and stabbed me in the ankle with a pencil as hard as he could. I rushed into the back room and took off the pants portion of the suit, pulled down my sock, and a bunch of blood poured out. Didn't even go home early, boss just had me stand at the door.
What Kind Of Owner Is Chuck?
[rebelmouse-image 18349569 is_animated_gif=Didn't happen to me but somebody got stabbed. We actually hired a bouncer on our busiest days because we attracted the trashiest people.
There was also a ton of sex in the Chuck E closet.
Same Kid?
[rebelmouse-image 18349570 is_animated_gif=Had a complaint that a kid was dipping toilet paper in to a women's toilet then eating it. He was. Same kid beat me mecrillessly while I was wearing "the Rat in Hat" suit, while screaming "MAN IN SUIT!"
The best was a complaint about the same kid eating from other families tables. He was, and he looked them dead in the eyes while doing it.
These were all different days.
At Least There's An Upside, Right?
[rebelmouse-image 18345948 is_animated_gif=Former: Anytime a kid threw up in the ball pit was an especially horrible day. There were several instances during the 6 years I had worked there, but these times were quite memorable.
There were two ways you could do this, 1. a large, both sides opened, cardboard box, to cordon off the affected area (saying it was a "slow" day and other kids weren't splashing all the balls around...) We had very large netting bags so that you could gather all the balls and take them outside and they would be sprayed off... or 2. If the spew was all up in the ball pit then ALL balls had to be gathered, sprayed off and the inside liner that held the balls had to be wiped down and cleaned.
Only "good" thing about having to take out all the balls, was that you could find some pretty good stuff that happened to be in peoples pockets and fell out (money, pocket knives, and even rings)
Naked E. Gross
[rebelmouse-image 18349571 is_animated_gif=The worst part was wearing that rat suit after this this one dude was in it. He took it serious and would get up on the prize tables and get the kids to chant CHUCK E, CHUCK E....I could freakin hear it back in the kitchen over the noise and music.
Dude was butt a-- naked in the suit. And he sweat, alot.
Best part was though was taking the left over pizza dough into the back lot after closing and having a 1v1 death match throwing softball sized dough balls at each others heads.
When The Inmates Run The Asylum
[rebelmouse-image 18349572 is_animated_gif=I worked at a Chuck E. Cheese in high school in a wealthy area, so I got the bright idea to neatly fold and rip off the part of the bill that stated, "Tips are included in the cost." They weren't. I got my coworkers in on it and eventually we started presenting the bills to each other's parties and saying, "if you'd like to tip your host they can only accept cash" to plant the idea in the parents' head. One day we got caught. I got blamed. I wasn't allowed to host parties anymore. Instead the GM hired his family and friends and allowed them to abuse my system. It was a gold mine, because sometimes I would take home $200 in cash as a 16 year old. I didn't even make that in 2 weekends of hourly pay.
At Least You're Creative?
[rebelmouse-image 18349573 is_animated_gif=I worked at CEC as my first job. On more than one occasion kids went up to the sky netting (?) (basically a birdnest made out of rope suspended in the air) and would take a sh-t. Naturally, since it was netting the sh-t would fall through and on to anyone who happened to be below...
After this happened a few times we decided to move the carousel ride (which had a roof) under the birdnest so at least it would land on the roof and not someones head.
Like A Trapped Hamster
[rebelmouse-image 18349574 is_animated_gif=Cleaning puke out of the sky tubes. The smell was horrifying.
Ugh, Parents
[rebelmouse-image 18349575 is_animated_gif=Worked at CEC for nearly two years during high school and then again later for another year. The worst parts almost always had to do with the parents of course.
It was just after I started, I was 15 and spent the first few months there working the game room floor. This lady came up to me saying one of the machines was not giving out tickets and I needed to check it out for her. I sat down on the stool to open up the panel and check things out, during this time she began rubbing my back saying how cute I was and how much of a help I was being. It was about this time I realized she reeked of booze and was drunk. I quickly sprang up from my seat saying I had to get some tools from the back. I went and told the games manager what happened. I'm not really sure what happened after that as I stayed in the back for a while. Next time I came back out she was gone thankfully.
Don't Take It Anymore
[rebelmouse-image 18349576 is_animated_gif=I worked at one for several years, I didn't have extremely horrible things happen to me tho. I was a Game Tech, which meant I would unclog tokens and perform minor repairs on games while also delivering pizza to tables and cleanup. Things I can remember that did happen that were weird/funny were;
- Having to escort drunk people out of at closing, cashiers would try to limit peoples intake but when others would buy for them they could still get plastered.
- Parents fighting over video games, never had an issue with kids, it was always the parents wanting their little snowflakes to play on some game (usually skee ball). We were told not to try and break them up, manager would just call the cops. So i would go over to them and say they could either leave or deal with the cops, they always left before the cops arrived
- Got hit with skeeballs a few times when going up on the lanes to unclog a ball or fix something, nothing major, but it got to the point of making eye contact with all the kids before going up with warnings i would throw them back...
Making The Best Of The Worst
[rebelmouse-image 18349577 is_animated_gif=I have a good friend who used to work at Chuck E. Cheese. Him and his fellow co-workers conspired over the span of a few months to steal the various piece of the suit. They would claim that "this part got ripped" or "some kid messed up this part and we had to throw it out", untill they had a full suit. For what reason you ask? Literally just to take turns showing up to parties in the full suit to make a bunch of drunk people super stoked.
Seriously, Adults Are The Worst
[rebelmouse-image 18349578 is_animated_gif=Not my story, but my dad's. This was decades ago.
He worked as the man in the suit, and all his friends knew it. He had this one friend, we can call him Gene, who liked to take things over the top. He was working and suddenly, my dad hears a roar. He turns to see his buddy Gene sprinting at him, full speed, no stop in sight. Boom, my dad is on the ground, head off and the only thing heard was the screams of young children.
My dad got fired that day.
SWARM
[rebelmouse-image 18349579 is_animated_gif=Ah. This happened 15 years ago or so. I I was designated to be the big cheese himself, a glorious honor (haha), and the fact that I was one of the only guys that worked there which meant I was almost always the chosen one for that hot a-- suit.
This day a football team was having a party there (10 or 12 year Olds or something). my manager knew what was going to happen.me though... My young niave brain only had innocent thoughts about making the children happy. Then the coach playfully tosses me a football (in my vision at least so I actually caught it).
It happened, a hoard of 10 year olds descended upon me in the cramped area between to long tables. Valiantly as I tried these little demons proceeded to tackle me onto the ground, I thankfully didn't break anything and I kept my head from falling off while being knocked around, but I was p-ssed. As soon as they got off me I got up and left to go to the back and take off the cec outfit.
All This In 9 Months?
[rebelmouse-image 18349580 is_animated_gif=Former employee of ~9 months
- Very old woman peeing on the carpet in the entrance while standing up
- Cleaning pee out of the sky tubes after a complaint that it got in a kid's eyes and he couldn't see
- Walking into the bathroom to find an abandoned pair of underwear with poop in it. Took everything I had to not throw up when throwing it away
- While in the Chuck E suit, being asked by a large black man wearing all blue "why you got all that red on, cuh?"
- Asking a mute girl if she wanted to put her candles on her cake and being told "she can't talk" by her parents
There were definitely many more less-than-enjoyable experiences, but these are the ones that stand out to me.
No, Really, Parents, WTF?
[rebelmouse-image 18349581 is_animated_gif=I saw two families going at it, throwing punches, cursing and spitting because one of the kids took some tickets from one of the arcade games that didn't belong to him. Cops had to be called and both dads got arrested...
A List Of Awful
[rebelmouse-image 18345400 is_animated_gif=Former employee, 6~ months in high school.
- A family racked up a ~$300 bill and tried to pay for it with food stamps.
- Two families got into a fight during their kids birthday party and had to be escorted by the police out. I later found one of their weaves on the table.
- I got kicked in the crotch while in the Chuck E. suit... I'm a girl, and it still hurt.
- A little girl asked me when the "real" Chuck E. was gonna come out because I was "too short" to be the real Chuck E.
- A mom wanted to show her kid that under the costume, it was just a real person and asked if I would take off Chuck E.'s head to show her daughter. I did, and the kid got even more freaked out thinking that the mouse had engulfed me.
I've repressed a lot of the memories. But this is what I can remember.
Run A. Way
[rebelmouse-image 18348620 is_animated_gif=Thank you, unnamed Chuck E. Cheese employee who saved naive, desperate for employment me by answering my question about employment with "You don't want to work here."
You are a hero.
Just...Just All Of It, Huh?
[rebelmouse-image 18349582 is_animated_gif=Former Manager checking in from like 10-15 years ago with a throwaway. I have a few worsts, I have divided them up below.
Actual worst: The time a custody dispute carried into a birthday party for a three year old. Multiple people had guns and knives, someone actually fired at the mother, and someone else tried to cut the father. This caused a full on riot resulting in a lock down. Luckily we were very close to a police station and no one was seriously injured.
Hilarious worst: Two employees having sex in the "Chuck E. Closet" (Where employees could go change without being in the way of the kitchen or in sight of the kids) while one was wearing the Chuck E head. This was bad because once the closet was unlocked/open you were in sight and we had lots of horrified parents and terrified children and it was really hard to not laugh.
Creepy worst: One of the animatronics failed and became possessed. We were about two weeks away from becoming a Stage 2 store, (next level of upgrades/improvements including removing the animatronics) so they told us just to let it go and try to keep it in check. It sounded demonic and would turn on at random, like in the middle of the "Happy Birthday Song" it's head hit a point that it couldn't turn anymore and got stuck moving a few inches back and forth and then caught on fire while trying to demonically still sing...
And I Quit? I Quit.
[rebelmouse-image 18349583 is_animated_gif="Hey, Sir, someone left a whole bunch of brownies in the sky crawl."
They weren't brownies...
H/T: Reddit
It's another ordinary day in America.
So of course that means we've already had a mass shooting or two before brunch.
And aside from the mass shootings, the number of single gunshot wounds or deaths is too high to count.
So let's discuss the aftermath.
Let's hear from the people who have faced the barrel of a loaded gun, or were just a casualty going about their day.
What happens after the bullet lands?
***CAUTION - SENSITIVE MATERIAL AHEAD - TRIGGER WARNING***
Redditor notaninterestingacc wanted to hear from the people who have lived the nightmare. They asked:
"Gunshot survivors of Reddit - What does it feel like to get shot?"
Guns are not a joke. Please educate yourself before you purchase.
Then the pin hit...
"I took a 7.62 to the stomach in Afghanistan. Felt like somebody had smacked with like, I dunno, a flyswatter or something. A short sharp smack. Didn’t feel much until I tried to come out of cover and I just... couldn’t. Couldn’t make my body listen to me. Then the pain hit. I’d put it at like, I dunno, an 11/10. Bullet blew off half my liver."
eyeCinfinitee
Thank you EMS...
"Chest, .357 magnum, through sternum, lung, ricochet off of rib, through scapula. Still have half under my shouldblade. Felt like I was stabbed in the chest with a hot fire poker mounted to the bottom of someone's foot when they drop kicked me. Was not expected to survive (severe blood loss), of course. Very good EMS team kept the liquids where they were supposed to and great doctors and nurses kept me going."
mndyerf**kinbusiness
Knocked Back
"I didn't really feel either of mine until about 10 minutes later. Took a grazing shot off my left arm and one in the right hip that went out my back thankfully missing my kidney. The arm felt like a bee sting the hip knocked me back a step the adrenalin at the time masked the pain."
richwith9
The Masked Men
"I was shot during a home robbery. I’m probably one of The luckiest people alive. The bullet no joke scratched my cheek and then went through the top of my ear and also a bullet grazed my wrist and opened it up. I didn’t feel anything but just liquid running down my face and my wrist was burning."
"Scariest night of my life and RIP Christian. Miss you so much buddy. Here is proof. We... https://www.chron.com/neighborhood/katy/crime-courts/article/Man-charged-in-attempted-burglary-apartment-6236325.php Authorities said Burke and Brandon Fries, 21, fought the suspects for their guns, which were fired during the struggle."
"The two masked men fled, and investigators initially did not have any information about which direction they went or whether they escaped from the scene by car. Both Burke and Fries had been shot and were transported to Hermann Memorial Hospital in Katy. Burke was pronounced dead upon arrival at the emergency room, less than four miles away.”
Brandonfries28
Like a Rock
"I got shot in the ankle when I was 10. Honestly I thought a rock hit me. Just a slight stinging feeling. Didn't really hurt, I even kept running with my bike. Later at the hospital was a different story. The doctor tried to remove the bullet without putting me under."
"He said the pain medicine would make me forget everything. He gave up after a few minutes of hell. And, whatever he gave me didn't work as described, but it did oddly make everyone look purple from what I remember. So maybe it half worked? lol."
adamchilders
People really? How in the world do y'all get firearms?
Fleshed Off...
"Right thigh, 9mm, grazing shot across the front of the leg about 4 inches above the knee. It plowed a channel of skin and some flesh off the front. It felt searing hot like someone had laid a hot piece of metal on my leg for a second. Then, the pain went away for a while until the adrenaline wore off. It honestly hurt worse 6 hours later than it did when it happened."
morgen_benner
A slight pinch...
"I was randomly shot while walking down the street with my girlfriend in 2013. I didn't fall to the ground or anything like that. Walked into a store and told them to call the cops. It didn't hurt too bad at first. A slight pinch. The heat builds up and the pain comes in. Some throbbing as the blood pumps out. I was extremely lucky as the bullet lodged between my lower right ribs in the back just above my kidney."
"The aftermath was a really achey back. What I remember most was how everyone around me except for my girlfriend just walked around us like nothing happened. I was suffering and potentially dying and everyone just ignored it. 'Not my problem' I suppose. I lost a lot of faith in people that day."
SoggyPastaPants
Not the Head
"I accidentally discharged my 9 and I was hit in the head. While it was going on I honestly did not feel any pain but everything slowed way down. Healing and recooperating was the hardest. My mouth and jaw was wired shut for several months. Had to have complete facial reconstruction surgery."
"Had to take a piece of bone from my skull and graph it to my nose just so I could have a nose. I also had to have a feeding tube for almost a whole year. I've recovered fully and I'm very lucky. I remember mostly everything. Something's from the incident I don't remember, but for the most part, I have my memories in tact."
No-Kick1632
It Burns...
"My gf was shot, not me, but she said it felt hot and like impact but not particularly painful until much later. She was in shock and went to the hospital, after hours she said it started to hurt."
DntShadowBanMeDaddy
"This was my response too. It feels incredibly hot. It's like getting hit with a bee that's on fire. It burns like hell. But then, and only later, does is f**king hurt. The part two is that you might think you understand pressure, but get shot. It doesn't just hurt, it mashes into you."
trebuchetfight
Ricochet
"A good friend of mine got hit with a ricochet from a 9mm that hit his calf, there was drive by about a block down. He was outside of the bar smoking a cig when it happened, ran inside and felt his leg burning but decided to keep drinking. He had about 3 more drinks before someone mentioned he was bleeding… went to the ER absolutely hammered and was fine after surgery."
PM_Me_UrRightNipple
Please stay sober when handling a weapon. Please be careful in general.
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It's never attractive to gloat.
Nor does superiority ever come off as a particularly attractive attribute.
But, consciously or not, some people speak or behave in a way that immediately suggests that they think they deserve to be treated differently, i.e better than others.
Or that they believe they simply are better than other people.
A recent Redditor was curious what sort of behavior struck other people as elitist or arrogant behavior by asking:
"What screams "I am entitled"?"
Where's the fire?
"Impatience in situations where it should be just universally understood that you need patience".- c7hu1hu.
Positions of power.
"I will have you fired!"- Vergo27.
"Generally just leaving something for someone else to deal with."- Splatty_boi_420.
Sorry, but I was here first.
"People who cut in line."- Chad_Farthousse.
"People who ignore lines and cut in the front, like their time is more important than every other person patiently queueing."- ofsquire.
No one loves a tattletale.
“I’ll call my dad and tell him what you did!”- ROAM300.
Ever heard of quid pro quo?
"When they do something to you and think it’s fine but when you do it in return and they freak out."- Silvero129.
Name your price.
"I work as a ticket seller for a ski resort."
"My favorite entitled person is the guy who, upon finding out that the kid's ski lesson was sold out, offered to pay extra if I would kick someone else's kid out so his kid could have a spot."- Floranagirl.
Perhaps one of the most obvious ways to unwittingly show off your entitlement?
By being oblivious to how entitled you are.
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There's something about the woods that creeps me out. Listen here, people: I'm a city guy. The idea of getting lost out there freaks me out. No thank you. I wasn't made for that. The rest of you who like to go camping and stuff? You do you. I'll stick with my running water.
But maybe I've seen too many horror movies. After all, if I saw some creepy stuff in the woods I'd definitely run in the other direction. And so would you, right? Right?
People shared their best stories with us after Redditor shantics asked the online community,
"What have you seen in the woods that you can’t explain?"
"I stepped on what I thought was a small rock but it turned out to be weird and gelatinous. I've also seen tombstones in the woods."
his_eminence56
You just suprised it. Rocks are soft and squishy, they just tense up when you touch them! /s
"I was hiking through the remnants..."
"I was hiking through the remnants of a remote, long-abandoned town and the surrounding area. To get to as far into the woods as I was, you had to cross fallen trees over a creek three times. I had just crossed the third "bridge" and was about five miles in and something blue caught my eye just ahead of me."
"There was a man, in his sixties at least, wearing blue satin pajamas, sitting in a tree. The closer I got to him the louder he laughed; it wasn't a maniacal laugh, but it set off all the alarms in my head nevertheless. He also wasn't wearing any shoes and looked well-groomed/cleaned."
"I gave him a friendly nod as I passed and he just kept laughing. Then it stopped. I turned and he was gone. There was no branch cracking, plants rustling, nothing... He was just gone."
"Still rubs me the wrong way. The area I was in was a pretty rough hike, very secluded. Not very many people venture as deep as I was that day. No idea what was going on there."
mrwitch
“Over the Third Bridge” would be a great title for a spooky book or movie.
"Neat as a pin..."
"Fully decorated Xmas tree. Middle of summer. Neat as a pin it was, as if it had just been finished. Who ever did it came back at some point and cleaned it up, because it wasn't there next I did that trail a week or so later."
OldWomanintheWoods
This one’s not that uncommon actually. Lots of folks will decorate a tree in remembrance of someone out in the woods. Sucks when they don’t clean them up though.
"It's an interesting..."
"In Japan. A hotel was abandoned before it was ever finished being built. It only became a cement skeleton, about 5 stories high. It was left that way to eventually mold back into the forest around it."
It’s an interesting small building to explore. There are halls that are unlevel to the point of hitting your head on the ceiling (think: Willy Wonka)."
"There are stairwells that lead to nothing and one that leads to an unintentional hole in a cement wall. And on the top floor (but “inside” - as in, under the “roof”), is an old car - all smashed up - with seemingly no reason or method to have been up there."
[deleted]
This reminds me of those old abandoned amusement parks that pretty much exist to destroy me mentally.
"I once walked..."
"I once walked through the undergrowth (i.e. off the trail) with my then-girlfriend when we came across this spot where a few empty plastic bags were lying on the ground (strange because the woods are otherwise super clean), a pair of gloves and, most confusingly, the official ID card (= passport) of a young woman."
Minister_of_Joy
I would freak out and call the cops. That sounds like a murder scene.
"Many plastic bags..."
"Many plastic bags with nothing really in them but random odd things tied to trees. Sure, it could have been a homeless person but us kids att (like 12+) of us lived in those small woods behind the church every single day. We never saw anyone like that, ever. Passing through I guess, but why so many bags...still wonder."
WiseOwlBear
Do we want to know what was in them? Probably not.
"When I was a teenager..."
"When I was a teenager, I worked at a fireworks stand that was run by my friend's family. It was in a rural area: they owned a few acres of land, had the fireworks tent at the front of the property and the house towards the back, but no lights in between. My friend's mother would prepare dinner for all the workers and we'd take turns going back to the house for dinner."
"One night, I was going to the house for dinner by myself. I felt something on my arm. I thought a bug might have landed on me, but it was really dark so I couldn't see anything. I stopped walking for a second. Then I started hearing this low, raspy breathing right next to me."
"There weren't any people around me and it didn't sound anything like a bug. It was like a slow, asthmatic wheeze."
"I started getting really freaked out. I reached my hand down to my arm and felt... something larger than I expected. I furiously rubbed my hands all across my body to try and dislodge whatever this thing was, then ran as fast as I could to the house. When I finally got to the safety of the house, I could see a small red mark on my arm, but that was it."
"To this day, it's probably the most freaked out I've ever been."
[deleted]
Chills reading this! Nooo thank you!
"Several very large holes..."
"Really big holes. Several very large holes, fairly close to each other, that seem to serve no purpose. Ten feet wide, deep enough that if you jumped in you’d have to have help getting out. Was someone preparing to bury a bunch of people? Was someone punishing their kid by making them dig holes? Did they hear there was buried treasure out there?"
"We’ve never figured it out."
theyarnilama
How far apart? How neat were the holes? In a plantation or natural wood? Accessible by a small excavator?
"I once saw a huge pile of cat and dog skulls and bones about 100m from my cabin so we sold the cabin as soon as we could. It was creepy."
[deleted]
This definitely sounds like the beginning of a horror film. Did the ghosts follow you? Please report back.
"There's a small patch..."
"There's a small patch of woods where I live. You could walk across it in less than an hour. It's entirely safe and has marked trails. People somehow manage to get lost in there and I can't explain that."
ThadisJones
Did they stumble across the bounds of time and space? That might explain it. But you might be underestimating how many people lack a sense of direction.
None of this makes you want to go out into the woods, huh? Yeah, we thought so. We'll pass the next time we get an offer to go camping somewhere.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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We're all not geniuses.
Everybody has varying degrees of knowledge and brain power.
And that is ok.
Though some of us are really lacking in any sense and every once and awhile people like to sugarcoat that fact when they call us out.
"Bless your heart."
That's a big one in the South. Means... "I like you, but Lord are you missing marbles."
Redditor MrMadJoker wanted to know the most creative ways to describe people who lack a few IQ points.
They asked:
"What's your favorite euphemism for a dumb person?"
"You're missing a few pieces of the puzzle."
Said to me from my Geometry teacher. Now I know what he meant.
And... he was right.
Cents
"I could give them a penny for their thoughts and I'd get change back."
hopefulsite126
The Cells
"He's got 2 brain cells left, and they're fighting for 3rd place."
Striking_Yoghurt_690
"One more neuron and he'd have a synapse."
Bad Wheel
"The wheel is spinning but the hamster's dead."
ofsquire
"My old english teacher used to say 'I can smell the hamster burning.'"
cardew-vascular
"Bruh how u gonna do hamsters like that. Im dead 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣"
Mulberry0
YOU
"You're the reason we have warning labels."
ofsquire
"My bosses comment about my non-too bright coworker 'you can’t get mad at her- she’s the reason shampoo has directions and she probably still f**ked it up…'”
Smoopiebear
"You see? Because of me, they have a warning label."
WantToBeBetterAtSex
Ok... some of this is some good comedy.
Or Puppet...
"I'm an American, but I love when British folks call people Muppets. For a long time Europe has led the way in insult innovation, and I think it's time we caught up."
JonSnow31391
Vanilla?
"Less useful than a chocolate teapot."
Pokeybumfun
"My Physics teacher used to say 'more pointless than a chocolate fireguard' whenever we had pencils that were too blunt for graph drawing hahaha."
ElegantEagle13
"German version of that is 'dumber than a piece of bread.'"
00192737292
I Like Turkey
"Shouldn't be left in charge of a ham sandwich."
accomplished_loaf
"I had a college professor who had met Gaddafi (God have mercy on him), the late dictator of Libya, and his impression was 'it would've been a shame to put that lunatic in charge of 10 chickens.'"
thefuzzybunny1
"Lol... for some reason this reminds me of Gordon Ramsay saying on Kitchen Nightmares that he wouldn’t trust a guy to run his bath, let alone his restaurant 😅."
thxitsthedepression
No Top Floor
"Your elevator doesn't go to the top floor. You're as sharp as a marble. You'd be stuck for an answer at hello (that's from Classy Freddie Blassie you pencil necked geeks)."
ferox965
"People tell me my elevator doesn't go the whole way to the top floor but I don't even HAVE an elevator."
"People tell me that too! We should go buy one~"
one_angry_custodian
Space
"My grandpa says: 'A lot of space between them ears.' Which is my absolute favorite, because a lot of people don't get it at first and just enforces the meaning."
Blobfish_Blues
Not all of us are going to break IQ records. That's ok. But these descriptions are funny.
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