Cheaters Shamefully Admit How They Were Caught By Their Significant Other[rebelmouse-image 18349557 is_animated_gif=
WhY do we do it? Why do we cheat? Men and women, we are all guilty. It seems like sex and lust also make us all stupid. Cheaters always get caught, usually because we don't pay attention; our brains are still in the sheets. I think it may actually be easier to get away with murder.
Redditor Izanage asked, Former cheaters of Reddit how were you caught by your significant other? And did that ever open a Pandora's Box!!
6TH GRADE IS A LONG TIME AGO AND... "I STILL HATE YOU CHRIS!!"
I've been cheated on and cheated with but never cheated. Each time the cheater just fessed up and told the truth.
Except my 6th grade boyfriend, Chris. I found out from everyone else in my middle school that he made out with some skank at the movie that he had invited me to but I was busy. F@#@ you, Chris. Totally over it though.
DAMN YOU NETFLIX!! DAMN YOU TO HELL!![rebelmouse-image 18349558 is_animated_gif=
I forgot to go back and mark the episodes as unwatched.
I SALUTE YOU![rebelmouse-image 18349560 is_animated_gif=
Go to gym, no headphones! That's cool, house is 5 minutes away. Pull up and see work buddies car out front. Walk in house through open garage. son coloring at kitchen table. Ask him "Hey bud where's your mom?". He points at the stairs. Walk to stairs hear moans and movement. Up to this point I had suspected but never had proof. Knew I had to go look and catch her or she would say I was overreacting and tell me it wasn't what I thought. Walk upstairs and hear them in spare bedroom. Walk in room and say "well this is awkward". They freak out and try to grab cloths and tell me nothing is happening. I walk out to car and have ex buddy chase me out and tell me to hit him. I go to my command ( I'm in the military) the next day. Report him and have the command force him to call his wife that day and let her know. I am now divorced and much happier!
I SEE YOU! YOU AIN'T SLICK![rebelmouse-image 18349561 is_animated_gif=
I doubt I'll ever get the truth on it, but my ex (we were together 6 years, engaged for a year and a half) went on a work trip to Vegas, we were 8 months away from our wedding, half of it was paid for (venue, videographer, photographer, flowers, catering all had deposits, dress was bought and paid for)... And when she got back from the trip she said "I don't love you anymore." Kicked me out of the apartment and had a new guy move in 3 weeks later and got engaged to him a few months ago (about a year and a half after the split) . Either she had been cheating for a while or thinking about it or both. Either way it was the best thing that ever happened to me, while simultaneously being the most painful thing I've ever experienced. I'm MUCH better off now and MUCH happier and healthier as well. I'm finally over it (almost 2 years later) and although she hurt me pretty bad, I look back and realize that I hated myself ( I was severely overweight) and wasn't in any position to love someone the way they needed because I didn't love myself. Life will s*** on you, and you either wipe it off and learn from it, or sit and play in it and get used to the stench and no one wants to be around you...Your choice!
I WILL BE AVENGED!![rebelmouse-image 18349562 is_animated_gif=
20ish years ago I caught my ex but in bed with another guy. On Valentine's Day. With a dozen roses in my hand. Fighting would get you kicked out of college, so I told the much smaller guy once I saw him off campus, I'd kill him. Fifteen years and world's later, I'm at an engagement party at a bar, and some friends come up and tell me the guy over there is scared of me and thinks I'm going to kill him. I look over and couldn't stop laughing. It was so far in the past, but for some reason that guy remembered it like I had sworn an oath to avenge my family. It felt good. His fear was redemption enough.
DON'T BE SO SUSPICIOUS.[rebelmouse-image 18355374 is_animated_gif=
I once had to go out of town for work on Valentine's Day. I was legitimately working, but the girl I was seeing at the time was told by a friend "If he's working on V Day, you're the side chick." so she confronted me when I got home, then dumped me.
So I was dumped for "cheating" even though I wasn't cheating.
SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST STRAIGHT UP STUPID/CRAZY![rebelmouse-image 18978045 is_animated_gif=
I caught my ex when we were both standing in the examining room, getting his "UTI treatment." Doc came in and said gonorrhea. He lied for a whole 2-3 months I imagine. Even lied about how he got it, tried convincing me he swiped his penis in some mystery fluids in a gas station toilet.
When he realized I wasn't fucking stupid, he tried to drink random bottles on the doctor's shelf. He started hitting himself. He fell on his knees sobbing and tried grabbing my hands and begging for me not to leave.
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?![rebelmouse-image 18978046 is_animated_gif=
Smiling at my cell phone too much!
HO-HO-HO, HAPPY HOLIDAYS![rebelmouse-image 18978047 is_animated_gif=
My fiancé left me two days before Christmas. She told me she need to move out and get space. That she was moving to her friends house. This went on for a week, until, because we have a family Apple plan. I looked up her location. And she was not at her friends house...
I'm now a single dad of a one year old and she's moving out west with him. Merry Christmas.
FACEBOOK IS NOT YOUR FREIND![rebelmouse-image 18978048 is_animated_gif=
My dad was recently caught cheating on my mom after 27 years. While using his laptop my mom noticed Facebook said "Hello Mike Long, can we log you back in?" My sweet mom still had no idea he was cheating, until my teenage sister broke it to her that he's using a fake account. That only opened a whole other world of nasty surprises. Love you dad, but I also hate you.
WHAT IS THIS DYNASTY?[rebelmouse-image 18978049 is_animated_gif=
Oh I have a story a little similar to this.
Friend's dad owns a company and his wife works with him to run it. She begins having an affair with an employee at the company and does stuff like you just said; brings the guy over to the house, has the kids treat him like their dad, etc. Friends dad uncovers it and divorces her.
_Except there's a catch. The dad destroys the mom in divorce proceedings because he has significant evidence of infidelity, and then quickly gets re-married (like within a couple months). Also, the mom's affair started after the dad sent her on several business trips with the other employee. Turns out the marriage was falling apart, he was cheating, and he knew she would cheat if given the opportunity, so he basically set her up with this guy until he got his evidence so he could get the whole company in the divorce which she would have otherwise had a claim to. _
DIDN'T SEE THAT TWIST COMING![rebelmouse-image 18346002 is_animated_gif=
It happened to a friend of mine. We were all on vacation (about 7 friends) and everybody was drinking. We were the only two who didn't. He managed to snag his girlfriend's phone while she was passed out and pulled me to the side. He said "she's cheating on me, some guy named joey texting her and meeting her after work for sex everyday. Plus how he can make her extra hot." We ended up searching names and mural friends via facebook. Turned out joey was a girl.
WHAT AN ENTRANCE![rebelmouse-image 18978050 is_animated_gif=
While at uni I walked on an argument between my gf and her housemate as the housemate shouted "at least I'm not a skank who sleeps with everyone when she goes home"
Turned out she was sleeping around.
GOODNIGHT & GOODBYE![rebelmouse-image 18977335 is_animated_gif=
I caught my boyfriend of two years. He had asked me to proof read his paper on his Mac and the text messenger popped up in the right hand. He was sitting in his bed texting some girl "goodnight I love you" while sitting right next to me in his bed. I deleted his entire paper, wrote "who's Marissa?" saved it and told him it looks great and left. She was his girlfriend of 8 years who lived next to his parents 2hrs away.
GOOGLE GONNA FIND YOU![rebelmouse-image 18978051 is_animated_gif=
I signed into her Google Account to check her emails (She forgot her password so I had to reset it). I checked her Google Maps history and her most recent visits where at my best friends house while I was away for work.
+1 for Google Maps
ROSS TO RACHEL : WE WERE ON A BREAK!!![rebelmouse-image 18978052 is_animated_gif=
Was on a "break" with my girlfriend at the time. Got a text from a girl that had mutual friends with and knew each other kind of well - started having dirty conversation, talking about sleeping together, etc. Turns out my girlfriend at the time had gotten a burner phone with a different number and was the one sending me the texts the whole time. She was not pleased.
NOW THERE IS A FUN FAMILY ALBUM.[rebelmouse-image 18353043 is_animated_gif=
Not me but my wife. We started getting distant from each other and we had planned a trip to see my grandparents who live a few states away.
A month before the planned trip she told me that she wanted to cancel it and go to a family reunion on her side of the family in a completely different state and that she wanted to go alone and not bring out kids. I thought it was weird because wouldn't you want to introduce your kids to family they never see?? Like I said we were growing distant so I just said ok fine go. Maybe he time apart will be good for us.
She came back and suddenly wanted to move across the county to "go work at a hospital job that her distant aunt had offered her." Didn't even ask me if I was willing to go. I told her "you do whatever it is you need to do to be you, but you're not taking the kids." After a few days she realized that she couldn't leave and not see the kids so she begged me to forgive her. I did.
Over the next month we became more distant than we were before all this had happened. I took lunch at work and decided to go home for it (which I never do). Also when I got home there was nobody home so I decided to go through her computer (which I also never do). Found pictures of her with some guy she had met on zynga poker who lived guess where....the state that her supposed family reunion was!! I've never had a panic attack until this day. I had to call my neighbor and have him sit with me because I legit thought I was having a heart attack. Took pictures of everything I found, other pictures, emails, and facebook messages. I waited until the kids were in bed ( I refuse to fight and scream in front of them) and laid all my pictures out there for her to see. Not a fun day.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY. NOT SO MUCH![rebelmouse-image 18978053 is_animated_gif=
Not me, but how I discovered my high school girl friend was cheating on me. She told me for my birthday.
My ex-girlfriend cheated on me while I was in basic training. I was allowed to call on my birthday. Being madly in love, I used it to call my girlfriend who was pregnant with our daughter. I remember the conversation as if it were yesterday.
Me: Hey babe, I miss you, how are you doing?
Her: Ok, I have someone who wants to talk to you.
New boyfriend: Hey man, don't worry about her, I am taking good care of her.
Me: Oh, okay. May I talk to her?
_New boyfriend: Sure, here she is. _
Me: This is bull. (Slamming down the receiver for the pay phone.)
Apparently I echoed. I received a letter from her that day with her telling me she had a miscarriage. Which later, found to be a lie.
KNOCK FIRST PLEASE.[rebelmouse-image 18978055 is_animated_gif=
I forgot I gave her an extra key.
CRAIGSLIST? SIGN UP FOR AN STD CHECK WHILE YOU'RE AT IT. GEESH![rebelmouse-image 18978056 is_animated_gif=
Advertised myself on Craigslist Casual Encounters and her brother-in-law found me on there. It wasn't until some time later I questioned what he was doing in there also.
When visiting any foreign country, one should always be familiar with the laws and customs of the land.
After all, what might be generally accepted on your home turf, might be frowned upon, if not illegal, elsewhere.
For that matter, even locals might need a refresher course on what they can and can't do while at home.
A recent Redditor was curious to hear what tourists and locals alike should avoid doing in the USA, leading them to ask:
"In the United States, what should you never do?"
Stay out of the skies!
"Don't fly a drone in Washington, DC."
"The whole D.C. Area is a no fly zone."
"It's a federal offense."
"Just don't do it."- PeytonCarrK
Cops can't be bribed.
"Don't try to bribe cops when you get pulled over."
"I had some Argentinian friends immediately pull out their wallets and start pooling their cash when they got pulled over once.'
"Fortunately someone in the car noticed and told them to put it away immediately."- PeytonCarrK
"Don't pay off the police."
"My dad has friends from several third-world nations where it is common practice to give the police some cash when you are pulled over."
"However, if you try to bribe a police officer here, you'll get into a lot of trouble."- JohnASmiley
Know your rights.
"Everyone, including foreigners, has the right to be silent and have a lawyer when being questioned."
"Don’t say anything."
"Also, even if you speak English fairly well, ask for an interpreter."- WickedLilThing
Enjoy all that nature has to offer... carefully!
"Don't wander off in the national parks."
"It's very real wilderness and you can get lost and die out there."
"This includes going over railings you aren't supposed to, or off trails."
"People have died accidentally falling into a steam geyser that looked like normal water, mauled by animals or left to the elements."- AlphaOhmeganational parks GIF by Visit The USAGiphy
Allow plenty of time!
"Expect consistency at TSA in airports."- WickedLilThing
Some terminology doesn't translate...
"If you’re from England, they’re called cigarettes here."- Yung_Onions
Make sure your license is up to date.
"If you come from a walkable country don’t come here expecting the same."
"There are some areas with good public transportation and bicycle/pedestrian friendly streets but for the most part, especially outside of cities, the areas are designed to accommodate cars more than anything else."
"The reason a lot of Americans drive everywhere is because, depending on where you live, we have no choice."- The_Cars93Dog Driving GIFGiphy
Wait for instructions.
"Get out of your car and approach the cop when being stopped by a cop unless told to."- hildrash
Whether your'e waling down a street in a foreign country, or the street you've lived on for your entire life, it's always wise to be on guard and aware of your surroundings.
Not to mention, obey the law.
Who doesn't love a good joke?
And one needn't be a professional comedian to always have a joke in their back pocket to make people laugh.
Particularly as there are certain types of jokes which are almost always guaranteed to elicit at least a tiny chuckle.
They could be knock-knock jokes, "little johnny" jokes, and of course the "yo mamma" jokes.
Though always teetering on the boundaries of good taste, the possibilities of jokingly insulting the mother of a friend, or foe, are endless, and more often than not, hilarious.
Redditor nobody-and-68-others was eager to hear the funniest "you mamma" jokes people have ever heard, leading them to ask:
"What are the best “Yo mama” jokes you got?"
Yo mamma's so fat...
"yo mamma so fat she wakes up in sections."- LolCoca
"Yo mama so fat when I had a threesome with her I never met the other guy."- 1nzlocky
"Your mama so fat, her memory foam mattress wish it could forget."- cuirboyFat GIFGiphy
...How fat Is she?
"Yo mama's so fat she outweighs the needs of the many."- BenefitsCustardbatch·
"Yo mama’s so fat that every time she turns around, it’s her birthday."- Amphibutter·
Yo mamma's so ugly...
'Yo mama so ugly, criminals break into her house just to close the curtains."- Cap_the_pro
"Yo mama so ugly your dad wakes up with morning wouldn't."- lukeedbnash
"Yo mama so ugly, her portraits hang themselves."- SolHalcyonthe emperors new groove hangover GIFGiphy
This could have so many meanings...
"The earth was flat until they buried yo mama."- jaymo54
Fat AND Ugly?
"Yo mama so fat, when she goes on a diet, the stock market drops."
"Yo mama so ugly, she threw a boomerang and it refused to come back."- SophisticatedOtaku
Needless to say, not all jokes are to everyone's taste.
Something to keep in mind when sharing these jokes with others.
Particularly with, "yo mamma", or anyone else's...
Societal norms gradually change over time, and it's not until a generation looks back and notices just how far they've come.
One of the major differences people from earlier generations find fascinating is how things were much more rigid compared to current times.
Curious to hear examples of this, Redditor FCFSDeals asked:
"What’s now weirdly acceptable in 2022 that was not acceptable growing up in your generation?"
Prior to cellphones, calling protocol was vastly different once upon a time.
Answering The Call
"Not answering the phone. When we only had landline phones (yes long time ago), there was no ringing phone that went unanswered. Now we screen or just plain ignore calls until we are good and ready to deal with it."
"Also, no one expected to reach you at any time, 24-7. I miss those days."
"But there was phone etiquette: no solicitation calls; no polls; and nobody called after 9PM unless someone was in jail or the hospital."
Appearance guidelines seemed to have shifted between generations.
"People have already said tattoos, but body piercings also exploded in popularity. It used to be girls could get their ears pierced, and that was it. When I was in high school, some guys started doing the one earring look and tongue, nose and bellybutton piercings were starting to become popular."
Comfort Is Priority
"Wearing sneakers to work at a fortune 100 company."
"At the beginning of my career it was suit and tie, then business casual and now I wear stan smiths, jeans and an untucked polo in the most senior position of my working life."
"I worked for the US Senate in 2009 (in a totally non-political job for the Senate Curator). I wore clothes from Hot Topic on the Senate floor. Some days I wore old jeans with holes in the knees if I knew I'd be climbing ladders to clean artworks. One of the women on the team had a full chest tattoo and made zero effort to cover it up because no one cared. The day I met Senator Inouye to discuss what paintings he wanted in his office, I had on trainers."
Benefits Of Letting The Hair Down
"They realized that they can't erode wages and expect us to look like we're on Mad Men at the same time. Allowing long haired freaky people has made them sh*tloads of money over the years."
Hair Coloring & Tattoos
"Any type of hair coloring would result in serious trouble at school. I also remember tatoos being frown upon as being found mostly on people that got out of prison."
The advent of the internet was a huge game changer, and rules were made up as we went along.
The Bandwidth Situation
"2 people using the internet at the same time."
Phones In The Classroom
"Middle/high school students being allowed to have their cell phones in class. Being caught with our cell phone when I was a high schooler was an automatic detention etc."
Consequences Of Having A Phone On Campus
"I graduated in the late 90's, and the president of my class got expelled one week before graduation for having a phone on campus. It was in his car, and this was after hours. It rang and a teacher heard it. They made an example out of him. He lost his admission to West Point."
"Now my 8th grader finds it super unjust that her science teacher makes all the kids put their phones in a box at the front of the room during tests, and feels super justified in never ever giving up her airpods to that sort of thing."
When I was a cast member at Disneyland in the early 2000s, we had to abide by the strict, clean-cut appearance guidelines required of all cast members–with different rules applying to each respective gender.
Men, for example, were not allowed to wear jewelry or have visible tattoos. We also had to maintain the length of our hair to not exceed past a certain length, and sporting facial hair was a major no-no.
Now, the "Disney Look" has changed, allowing all cast members to reflect their personalities through “gender-inclusive hairstyles, jewelry, nail styles and costume choices; and allowing appropriate visible tattoos," according to the Disney Parks Blog.
To the Mouse, I tip my hat for these awesome changes.
As a kid, I remember being obsessed (like obsessed) with David the Gnome and his fox Swift. I was tuned in daily to watch the adventures, get all misty eyed for the hurt animals the gnomes saved, and sobbed in abject wonder when the gnomes finally lived all 400 years of their gnome life and transitioned into the trees that make up the woods they live in.
The trees are their ancestors, y'all! The treeees! They protect the trees because they're family. Trees grow intertwined because they were so in love when they were gnomes.
Fam! This show was everything ... except memorable for other people because I was in my 30s talking to someone from another country before I met the first person who remembered this show.
Which, honestly, is kind of insulting to gnomes and trees.
Reddit user itchellFamily1045 asked:
"Which show do you think you're the only person who remembers it exists?"
It was David the Gnome for me (which I found out originated in Spain and was much more popular in France than it was in the US. Apparently, I was a Euro-trash hipster as a child), but let's take a look at what got Reddit.
Classic Wheel Of Fortunewheel through the years GIF by Wheel of FortuneGiphy
"It's funny how nobody seems to remember the early seasons of Wheel of Fortune with host Chuck Woolery. You didn't win any cash. You had to choose prizes from a selection of things set up in a room-like fashion."
"They still had the prize room with sajak for a while I believe. Camera would just pan across the room and the winner would try not to pick the stupidest things. Cause the items all had fn price tags on em and you'd only have the $ amount you won. Infuriating"
"A broyhill coffee table!!"
"Always ending up with the porcelain dog statue cause it was all you had left after buying expensive items."
"I still think about the episode where everyone who stayed young, slept in Tupperware, and when their lids got taken off, aged overnight."
"One of my favorite moments on the show had Marshall and Simon hanging out in Simon's room, one night. Through the walls you can hear a man and a woman laughing lecherously."
"Marshall: 'It sounds like your mom and dad are having a party'."
"Simon: 'Mom's not home'."
"It was a great weird kids' show, but some of the gags they managed to sneak in were hilarious."
"I work w a dude whose daughter was on that show, We were just randomly chatting and he was telling me how she had done some modelling/acting when she was little"
" 'you probably dont know the show but...'."
" 'like hell i dont that show was great'."
"Early edition- get tomorrow's newspaper today"
"I loved that show! What a concept!"
"Omg omg omg"
"Quality 90s tv, right there. A warm-fuzzy show."
Herman's Headtalking marge simpson GIFGiphy
"Anyone remember Herman’s Head?"
"It had the woman that does the voice for Lisa Simpson and the woman that went on to play Ross' exwife on friends was one of the characters in his head."
" It has 2 Simpsons voice actors- Yeardley Smith and Hank Azaria. I seem to remember that they were offered the roles- and maybe the whole show existed? - because they didn’t want to be ‘just’ VA’s, and FOX wanted to placate them."
"That’s a real show?? They reference it on 'only murders in the building'.”
"I came for this one too!"
The Garry Shandling Show
"The Gary Shandling Show. No, not the Larry Sanders Show - Gary Shandling Show. Even the theme song breaks the fourth wall."
"This is the theme to Gary's show, the opening theme to Gary's show. This is the music that you hear as you watch the credits. We're almost to the part of where I start to whistle, then we'll watch It's Gary Shandling's Show."
"Yeah, Garry Shandling and Tracey Ullman are pretty much tied up in my memory."
"Best theme song EVER!"
"My partner LOVES the theme to that show! Plays it in the background every now and then, it's a riot!"
"Mid-2000s show on Fox that was apparently too weird even for Fox. I think they canceled it halfway through the 1st season."
"I have the DVD. Excellent show that I still toss in every once in a while."
"The producers had planned out some storylines all the way to S3. The S2 cliffhanger was supposed to be Jaye being sent to the mental hospital where she had helped put away some guest stars, including the woman who tried to kill the therapist with gift store items, and the boy who bought the russian mail order bride."
"Bryan Fuller's early work."
Mary Hartman Square
"Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman"
"I remember watching this with my dad and my sister after the 11:00 pm news. I was in like 6th grade. That's what happens when there's no mom around. 😂"
"Her husband fell into a vat of paint thinner at work, and he needed to have plastic surgery over every inch of his body, so he requested to look like Tab Hunter."
"I thought her husband drowned in a bowl of soup. Maybe her first husband? That show was trippy af"
"Her neighbor's husband. The clip is on YouTube."
"Spin off of a spin off or Mary Tyler Moore as I recall, right? Wasn't Rhonda the first spinoff?"
"Not a spin-off. Mary Hartman was a very bizarre show for its time, a parody of a soap opera. Louise Lasser played Mary, and she was this weirdly detached character surrounded by crazy drama and violence. I think it might have been the first place I saw Martin Mull."
"Terranova, ran for like a single season then disappeared"
"I loved that show! So annoying they didn’t get a second season."
"I was a young kid when it aired on TV so i dont remember much of it, but I recall it being a recurring topic with my mom every now and then"
"oh god I’m old. I thought it was only a few years ago. I just looked it up and it was 11. Excuse me while I go get an AARP application."
"It’s that old?! Holy sh*t, grab me an application too, please. It seriously felt like just a couple of years ago."
"Karen Valentine was probably the cutest girl ever on a tv show. I used to love when she would be on the original Hollywood Squares."
"She was the only reason anyone watched that show."
"I loved that show! My mom, my sisters and I would watch that show every Friday night. The cast was really good — Karen Valentine was a really cute and bubbly teacher, and Michael Constantine was great as the high school principal"
"Yes! I swear this was the first one I thought of! And Under the Umbrella Tree!"
"If you have the Paramount streaming app, it's on there!"
"Spicy, salty, sour, sweet, bring us something good to eat!"
"I’m in my late thirties and still vividly remember the Christmas special episode where Magellan gets lost in the woods."
"Eureka’s Castle was the jam!"
"*Worms going err errrr ER err ere rrr*"
Let's talk about the shows nobody remembers but you.
Are they those early childhood favorites? Or maybe a teen-drama that only got one season before Netflix pulled it, crushing your hopes and dreams of resolved plotlines about a teenage ghost band who died of poisoned hot dogs and the incredibly talented, but heartbroken, young singer who gives them a new lease on life, love, and music?
No that is not a joke and YES I am still angry about Netflix not giving Julie and the Phantoms a second season.
Maybe it's a soap opera you think you remember watching with your mom, but maybe it was a fever dream?
Whatever it is, we want to hear about it.