Cheaters Shamefully Admit How They Were Caught By Their Significant Other
Cheaters Shamefully Admit How They Were Caught By Their Significant Other
[rebelmouse-image 18349557 is_animated_gif=WhY do we do it? Why do we cheat? Men and women, we are all guilty. It seems like sex and lust also make us all stupid. Cheaters always get caught, usually because we don't pay attention; our brains are still in the sheets. I think it may actually be easier to get away with murder.
Redditor Izanage asked, Former cheaters of Reddit how were you caught by your significant other? And did that ever open a Pandora's Box!!
6TH GRADE IS A LONG TIME AGO AND... "I STILL HATE YOU CHRIS!!"
I've been cheated on and cheated with but never cheated. Each time the cheater just fessed up and told the truth.
Except my 6th grade boyfriend, Chris. I found out from everyone else in my middle school that he made out with some skank at the movie that he had invited me to but I was busy. F@#@ you, Chris. Totally over it though.
DAMN YOU NETFLIX!! DAMN YOU TO HELL!!
[rebelmouse-image 18349558 is_animated_gif=I forgot to go back and mark the episodes as unwatched.
I SALUTE YOU!
[rebelmouse-image 18349560 is_animated_gif=Go to gym, no headphones! That's cool, house is 5 minutes away. Pull up and see work buddies car out front. Walk in house through open garage. son coloring at kitchen table. Ask him "Hey bud where's your mom?". He points at the stairs. Walk to stairs hear moans and movement. Up to this point I had suspected but never had proof. Knew I had to go look and catch her or she would say I was overreacting and tell me it wasn't what I thought. Walk upstairs and hear them in spare bedroom. Walk in room and say "well this is awkward". They freak out and try to grab cloths and tell me nothing is happening. I walk out to car and have ex buddy chase me out and tell me to hit him. I go to my command ( I'm in the military) the next day. Report him and have the command force him to call his wife that day and let her know. I am now divorced and much happier!
I SEE YOU! YOU AIN'T SLICK!
[rebelmouse-image 18349561 is_animated_gif=I doubt I'll ever get the truth on it, but my ex (we were together 6 years, engaged for a year and a half) went on a work trip to Vegas, we were 8 months away from our wedding, half of it was paid for (venue, videographer, photographer, flowers, catering all had deposits, dress was bought and paid for)... And when she got back from the trip she said "I don't love you anymore." Kicked me out of the apartment and had a new guy move in 3 weeks later and got engaged to him a few months ago (about a year and a half after the split) . Either she had been cheating for a while or thinking about it or both. Either way it was the best thing that ever happened to me, while simultaneously being the most painful thing I've ever experienced. I'm MUCH better off now and MUCH happier and healthier as well. I'm finally over it (almost 2 years later) and although she hurt me pretty bad, I look back and realize that I hated myself ( I was severely overweight) and wasn't in any position to love someone the way they needed because I didn't love myself. Life will s*** on you, and you either wipe it off and learn from it, or sit and play in it and get used to the stench and no one wants to be around you...Your choice!
I WILL BE AVENGED!!
[rebelmouse-image 18349562 is_animated_gif=20ish years ago I caught my ex but in bed with another guy. On Valentine's Day. With a dozen roses in my hand. Fighting would get you kicked out of college, so I told the much smaller guy once I saw him off campus, I'd kill him. Fifteen years and world's later, I'm at an engagement party at a bar, and some friends come up and tell me the guy over there is scared of me and thinks I'm going to kill him. I look over and couldn't stop laughing. It was so far in the past, but for some reason that guy remembered it like I had sworn an oath to avenge my family. It felt good. His fear was redemption enough.
DON'T BE SO SUSPICIOUS.
[rebelmouse-image 18355374 is_animated_gif=I once had to go out of town for work on Valentine's Day. I was legitimately working, but the girl I was seeing at the time was told by a friend "If he's working on V Day, you're the side chick." so she confronted me when I got home, then dumped me.
So I was dumped for "cheating" even though I wasn't cheating.
SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST STRAIGHT UP STUPID/CRAZY!
[rebelmouse-image 18978045 is_animated_gif=I caught my ex when we were both standing in the examining room, getting his "UTI treatment." Doc came in and said gonorrhea. He lied for a whole 2-3 months I imagine. Even lied about how he got it, tried convincing me he swiped his penis in some mystery fluids in a gas station toilet.
When he realized I wasn't fucking stupid, he tried to drink random bottles on the doctor's shelf. He started hitting himself. He fell on his knees sobbing and tried grabbing my hands and begging for me not to leave.
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?!
[rebelmouse-image 18978046 is_animated_gif=Smiling at my cell phone too much!
HO-HO-HO, HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
[rebelmouse-image 18978047 is_animated_gif=My fiancé left me two days before Christmas. She told me she need to move out and get space. That she was moving to her friends house. This went on for a week, until, because we have a family Apple plan. I looked up her location. And she was not at her friends house...
I'm now a single dad of a one year old and she's moving out west with him. Merry Christmas.
FACEBOOK IS NOT YOUR FREIND!
[rebelmouse-image 18978048 is_animated_gif=My dad was recently caught cheating on my mom after 27 years. While using his laptop my mom noticed Facebook said "Hello Mike Long, can we log you back in?" My sweet mom still had no idea he was cheating, until my teenage sister broke it to her that he's using a fake account. That only opened a whole other world of nasty surprises. Love you dad, but I also hate you.
WHAT IS THIS DYNASTY?
[rebelmouse-image 18978049 is_animated_gif=Oh I have a story a little similar to this.
Friend's dad owns a company and his wife works with him to run it. She begins having an affair with an employee at the company and does stuff like you just said; brings the guy over to the house, has the kids treat him like their dad, etc. Friends dad uncovers it and divorces her.
_Except there's a catch. The dad destroys the mom in divorce proceedings because he has significant evidence of infidelity, and then quickly gets re-married (like within a couple months). Also, the mom's affair started after the dad sent her on several business trips with the other employee. Turns out the marriage was falling apart, he was cheating, and he knew she would cheat if given the opportunity, so he basically set her up with this guy until he got his evidence so he could get the whole company in the divorce which she would have otherwise had a claim to. _
DIDN'T SEE THAT TWIST COMING!
[rebelmouse-image 18346002 is_animated_gif=It happened to a friend of mine. We were all on vacation (about 7 friends) and everybody was drinking. We were the only two who didn't. He managed to snag his girlfriend's phone while she was passed out and pulled me to the side. He said "she's cheating on me, some guy named joey texting her and meeting her after work for sex everyday. Plus how he can make her extra hot." We ended up searching names and mural friends via facebook. Turned out joey was a girl.
WHAT AN ENTRANCE!
[rebelmouse-image 18978050 is_animated_gif=While at uni I walked on an argument between my gf and her housemate as the housemate shouted "at least I'm not a skank who sleeps with everyone when she goes home"
Turned out she was sleeping around.
GOODNIGHT & GOODBYE!
[rebelmouse-image 18977335 is_animated_gif=I caught my boyfriend of two years. He had asked me to proof read his paper on his Mac and the text messenger popped up in the right hand. He was sitting in his bed texting some girl "goodnight I love you" while sitting right next to me in his bed. I deleted his entire paper, wrote "who's Marissa?" saved it and told him it looks great and left. She was his girlfriend of 8 years who lived next to his parents 2hrs away.
GOOGLE GONNA FIND YOU!
[rebelmouse-image 18978051 is_animated_gif=I signed into her Google Account to check her emails (She forgot her password so I had to reset it). I checked her Google Maps history and her most recent visits where at my best friends house while I was away for work.
+1 for Google Maps
ROSS TO RACHEL : WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!
[rebelmouse-image 18978052 is_animated_gif=Was on a "break" with my girlfriend at the time. Got a text from a girl that had mutual friends with and knew each other kind of well - started having dirty conversation, talking about sleeping together, etc. Turns out my girlfriend at the time had gotten a burner phone with a different number and was the one sending me the texts the whole time. She was not pleased.
NOW THERE IS A FUN FAMILY ALBUM.
[rebelmouse-image 18353043 is_animated_gif=Not me but my wife. We started getting distant from each other and we had planned a trip to see my grandparents who live a few states away.
A month before the planned trip she told me that she wanted to cancel it and go to a family reunion on her side of the family in a completely different state and that she wanted to go alone and not bring out kids. I thought it was weird because wouldn't you want to introduce your kids to family they never see?? Like I said we were growing distant so I just said ok fine go. Maybe he time apart will be good for us.
She came back and suddenly wanted to move across the county to "go work at a hospital job that her distant aunt had offered her." Didn't even ask me if I was willing to go. I told her "you do whatever it is you need to do to be you, but you're not taking the kids." After a few days she realized that she couldn't leave and not see the kids so she begged me to forgive her. I did.
Over the next month we became more distant than we were before all this had happened. I took lunch at work and decided to go home for it (which I never do). Also when I got home there was nobody home so I decided to go through her computer (which I also never do). Found pictures of her with some guy she had met on zynga poker who lived guess where....the state that her supposed family reunion was!! I've never had a panic attack until this day. I had to call my neighbor and have him sit with me because I legit thought I was having a heart attack. Took pictures of everything I found, other pictures, emails, and facebook messages. I waited until the kids were in bed ( I refuse to fight and scream in front of them) and laid all my pictures out there for her to see. Not a fun day.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY. NOT SO MUCH!
[rebelmouse-image 18978053 is_animated_gif=Not me, but how I discovered my high school girl friend was cheating on me. She told me for my birthday.
My ex-girlfriend cheated on me while I was in basic training. I was allowed to call on my birthday. Being madly in love, I used it to call my girlfriend who was pregnant with our daughter. I remember the conversation as if it were yesterday.
Her: Hello
Me: Hey babe, I miss you, how are you doing?
Her: Ok, I have someone who wants to talk to you.
New boyfriend: Hey man, don't worry about her, I am taking good care of her.
Me: Oh, okay. May I talk to her?
_New boyfriend: Sure, here she is. _
Her: What?
Me: This is bull. (Slamming down the receiver for the pay phone.)
Apparently I echoed. I received a letter from her that day with her telling me she had a miscarriage. Which later, found to be a lie.
KNOCK FIRST PLEASE.
[rebelmouse-image 18978055 is_animated_gif=I forgot I gave her an extra key.
CRAIGSLIST? SIGN UP FOR AN STD CHECK WHILE YOU'RE AT IT. GEESH!
[rebelmouse-image 18978056 is_animated_gif=Advertised myself on Craigslist Casual Encounters and her brother-in-law found me on there. It wasn't until some time later I questioned what he was doing in there also.
- People Explain Whether They Think Cheaters Will Always Cheat Again - George Takei ›
- People List Red Flags That Your Significant Other Is Cheating On You - George Takei ›
- People Divulge How They Found Out Their Significant Other Was Cheating On Them - George Takei ›
- People Divluge How They Caught Their Significant Other Cheating - George Takei ›
Adults Who Still Need A Stuffed Animal To Go To Sleep Share Their Experiences
Reddit user Old-Horse1185 asked: '34 percent of adults sleep with a stuffed animal or other sentimental object. Are you one of these people? What do you sleep with?'
Stuffies, plushies, stuffed animals, or plush toys; whatever you might call them, we likely all can remember a fluffy friend we had in our childhood.
But some adults might have carried their childhood friend into adulthood, or even made others along the way, and they might even still go to sleep with them at night, too.
Redditor Old-Horse1185 asked:
"34 percent of adults sleep with a stuffed animal or other sentimental objects."
"Are you one of these people? What do you sleep with?"
The Twin Bond
"My twin sister died when I was 18. Ten years later, I still sleep with her unicorn pillow pet, she gets a nice spot on the bed, and I'd never be with someone who made me feel bad about having it. Only my girlfriend is trusted enough to give pillow pet a bath."
- insomniacinsanity
"My twin brother died when we were seven, and I used to have a specific stuffie that was given to him by an American lady who worked in the hospital he was in, but it got damaged in a house move when I was a teenager and was unsalvageable."
"It was a limited-run stuffie that you could only get in a specific American store in the 90s, so it was basically irreplaceable. My husband, 10+ years later and without letting on, tracked one down and paid a silly amount of money to have it shipped to the UK and gave it to me for Christmas a couple of years ago."
"I sleep with it every d**n night. I'm mid-30s, and I'll never stop."
- beesandsids
Keeping Them Close
"My partner passed away a few weeks ago, and I now cuddle his shirts that still have his scent. When my son spends the night with his grandparents, I also cuddle w his blanket or the pillow he sleeps on."
- anonmomanonnin
Cuddles and Fidgets
"My grandma made me a pillow when I was born. She sewed the pillow together and the pillow case, which had kittens all over it."
"I’m 33 years now she passed when I was 31, and I sleep with the same pillow in my arms every night."
"The pillow case is worn to bits because I guess I use it as a fidget thing I rub in between my fingers. Yes, I’m weird."
- Valuable_Panda_4228
From the Beyond
"I bought my wife a big stuffed seal for our first Valentine's Day. This seal has a slight green tint to it, so we named him Sealo Green. She had Sealo for a couple of years before she passed away."
"I hug Seal-o every night and pray to my wife, tell her about my day, things coming up, etc. I'll start using her perfume on Sealo soon, so I can smell her while I pray to her. My heart can't take it right now."
- Cubbycupcake-Uther
A Gift from Grandma
"I am one. My grandma gave all the grandkids a cat plush. A cat food brand had a promotion, if you bought enough cat food you'd get a free plushie. With 14 grandkids, a lot of food was bought to get there. Her cats didn't complain though, lol (laughing out loud)."
"I still sleep with it, it's a feeling of comfort, safety, and home."
- DavyJonesLocker2
An Evolving Friendship
"Stuffed dog I've had since my mom was squeezing him while giving birth to me. That dog has seen some s**t."
"He's a 'Sad Sam,' and his eyes used to break my heart when I was a kid, so I buried him under other stuffed animals or made him face the wall so I wouldn't have to look at him."
"Then I felt really guilty because I didn't want him to feel punished when all he wanted was to be loved. So I've been sleeping with him for almost 40 years now."
"I recently bought an original one off eBay to see the comparison and man, I have loved the daylights out of that dog!"
- dumdadumdumAHHH
A Special Bond
"I now sleep with my girlfriend's stuffed bunny she has had since birth. He’s my best friend now! I love you, Bootstin!!"
- silversauce
"Aww, that's awesome. My partner is the only person I've ever been with who didn't make me feel like crap for still having my blanket. When I travel, I leave it with them, and I think they probably cuddle up with it as much as I do after a rough day."
- the_Ozz
Keeping a Partner Close
"Sometimes when I take a nap and my wife doesn't, I'll take her pillow to sleep with because I like the smell."
"It smells like baby powder, vanilla, and her."
- TrailerParkPrepper
Very Considerate
"Huge jellycat bears. I don’t even wanna, but I’m just afraid I’ll hurt their feelings if I don’t."
- CommonAd9606
"As a kid, I routinely slept with a zillion stuffed animals on the bed because I didn’t want any of them to feel left out."
- PumaGranite
"As a kid? I'm 26 and still have to hug them all as I go to sleep or they'll feel left out!"
- Scymber
Lower Back Pain
"I sleep with a body pillow (plain cover). Doctor recommended it a few years ago to help with my lower back pain and it really does help."
- HappyTimeHollis
"I sleep with a body pillow but it's an alligator. My grandparents gave it to me when I was 11 years old. It has a huge open mouth you can put your arm through or use to prop your phone. Had it 24 years. Love it to death."
- smoretank
Full Body Support
"Squishmallows. I have sciatica and they're great for when I go to bed. I put one between my knees at night (side sleeper) and I snuggle up with one."
- Raging_Utahn
Happy Kitty, Sleepy Kitty
"I'm not one to sleep with plushies, but my cat likes to snuggle up to me and sleep with his fluffy little head on my shoulder."
- imaybeacatIRL
"Cats have to count. My previous cat actually slept as the little spoon, snuggled in my arms."
- disapprovingfox
The Long-Distance Relationship
"I am a guy, I recently got to sleep with a stuffed animal for a week, I won't go into the details as to why or how, just know that I lovvveeeed it. I would get called a weirdo if I confess to this to the world, so I have kept this to myself and my bestie only."
"The stuffed animal was a large teddy bear, since then it has been taken away and now it is placed in the living room, my bedroom has one small stuffed toy that I sleep with, it's not super large and not as comfortable as the teddy but it works."
"It makes me feel good and less alone, the closest person in the world to me is 700km away, what I'm about to say is weird but hugging the teddy and pretending it's her makes me calm and makes me want to sleep."
- uninformed-but-smart
Build a Friend... with IKEA
"Ikea Hippo, Ikea Elephant. The Ikea bigs are the superior sleep companion. I also have the shark, but he is not right for my shoulder when cuddling so he guards."
- pm-me-neckbeards
"I also keep my Ikea shark on guard at night! The Ikea octopus is the guard when I sleep at my boyfriend’s house."
- jeff-buckleys-teeth
A Comfort Become Real
"When I was a toddler, I got a stuffed animal as a present from my uncle. It was a light brown rabbit with button eyes and ears with rainbow stripes on the inside. I'm unsure of when I got it, but I was either one to two years old or four years old."
"I don't know how or why, but it had a distinct scent, not particularly noticeable unless you shoved your face in its fur, like I did, haha. As I grew up, I needed to have this rabbit with me or I would not be able to sleep. I remember this one time when I couldn't find it in time for bed, and I was so distressed trying to fall asleep that I started hallucinating."
"Over time she lost an eye, her ears became frayed, her fur fell out in patches, and she looks like a well-loved creature (because she is) or hot garbage, depending on who you ask."
" Even in my rebellious teen years, I couldn't pretend to dislike her because the scent and texture of her fur gave me a feeling of comfort and safety, even when it felt like everyone was against me."
"I live by myself now at age 34 and you better believe I still keep her in my bed. The scent is gone but sometimes I can trick my brain into thinking it's still there, and when I touch the texture of her fur, I will still get a wave of comfort and reassurance the same way I did as a child."
"It's amazing not only how humans will bond with anything, but also the effect these things will have on a person."
"This got sappy, my apologies."
"PS: Her name is Ninni."
- Mwuuh
"'Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.'"
"I'm reminded of this quote from 'The Velveteen Rabbit.'"
- tinycole2971
While everyone might feel a little silly about their sleeping arrangements, most of those who still sleep with a cuddly friend have spent a great deal of their life with their companion already.
From sentimental reasons to physical needs, everyone needs comforted from time to time, and there's nothing quite like the unconditional love of a favorite stuffie friend.
Working remotely from home certainly has its advantages, including not having to endure traffic and deal with coworker drama.
But many people found that during the pandemic, the isolation of working from home left little to be desired.
People who have jobs requiring them to commute every day and arrive at the workplace are given the opportunity to be social and feel like they're a part of society.
But being a part of a work environment can come with its own unique occupational hazards.
Curious to hear from strangers in the workforce, Redditor AMGBOI69420 asked:
"What’s the most f'ked up thing you’ve seen at work?"
People in medical professions draw on their endless list of shocking events.
The Crazy Patient
"I was sorting all the psych patients that were hospitalized in my state, and got to this guy: a teenager or maybe a bit older, and he got sent to the ward because he suddenly got aggressive and started to have some episodes that he squirmed in pain/took off his clothes and things like that. Before being hospitalized he was complaining about these things, but nothing the medics did was working and nothing wrong was found, so it should be a psychiatric issue, no?"
"Wrong, he was put in the ward for 2 or so years and lost a lot of his life, being considered insane, because he developed a rare spinal cancer that was hard to detect and caused him extreme pain. Really f'ked up, I don't remember what happened to him afterward, but I not really optimistic that it had an happy ending."
– vtomal
The First Aid Officer Who Couldn't Unsee These
"I was a first aid officer in a corporate job."
"Elderly pedestrian hit by a car in our car park: compound tib fib fracture that tore through her calf muscle"
"Deep laceration with arterial bleeding after some idiot from another department tripped and dropped a metal first aid down a flight of stairs during a fire drill."
– W2ttsy
Patient Left Against Medical Advice
"Patient comes in to the ER, gets full sepsis workup. His chemistries are all f'ked up, he required a manual white cell count because his was so high the analyzer basically said 'WTF?!', his urine was full of white cells and bacteria. You know, your classic 'old person UTI that's gone septic.' We figure he's going to be admitted. Nope, they send him home. Mind you, this was not a case of 'patient left AMA (against medical advice),' this was just the doctor said 'Yeah, seems like you've got a UTI. Go home and drink some cranberry juice.'"
"Two days later, the same patient comes in, with the same complaint. Gets the same blood and urine tests. While I'm doing the manual white cell count, the phone rings. It's the reference lab down the street. The blood cultures on the patient I'm currently working on from two days prior have come up positive. I take the notification and call the ER to let them know. Us labbies figure he's going to be admitted for sure this time. Come to find out, they sent him home again. (Again, not an AMA, a 'Go home and drink some cranberry juice.')"
– coffeeblossom
Those in customer service share their shocking eye-witness accounts.
Trailblazer
"I worked at one of the busiest Walmarts in the country during Spring Break for 6 years... I wouldn't even know where to begin."
"I guess the drunk lady leaving the bathroom with her pants around her ankles while actively sh*tting as she walked across the front of the building and back outside into the wild."
"None of the workers wanted to deal with it so they parked a shopping cart over each turd until the cleaning crew came in."
– UncleGrako
Slimy Salespeople
"Worked at a Nissan dealership where most salespeople where slimy POS. One senior citizen with a veteran ballcap was working on a deal for a car for his grandkid. Nice old guy got tired and fell asleep in the chair waiting for the salesguy to work out the deal with the sales managers. One of the managers from the bullpen walks by and farts right in the sleeping old mans face then runs back to the bullpen where everyone was watching and laughing. It was disgusting, I told the sales guy who I knew was a Iraq vet. He went to the bull pen and screamed in the face of every single one of those f'kers. He screamed so much at them I thought he was gonna pass out."
– adrielago
Work environments can be extremely dangerous.
"Once saw someone step into a bucket of hot fryer oil, it got into their shoes and everything. Was so bad that when they took the shoe off it peeled of skin with it. The person had 2nd and I believe 3rd degree burns. He never came back but I saw the pictures and it was horrific."
– Mrlionscruff
"I worked at a printing manufacturer and saw something like this happen in person, the guy had his right arm shredded. The wrench in his other hand stopping the machine is the only reason he didn't go all the way through. Later that month a 2400lbs paper roll was dropped on a coworker in front of me. I'm glad to be out of that job."
– Beullersghost
Threatening The Employee
"I worked at a Goodwill for a few years, we had lots of drug addicts trying to shoot up in the changing room and had an occasional OD."
"But the most shocking thing I experienced was the amount of times people physically threatened or attacked me or my co-workers when we refused their donations. Getting in our faces and trying to push us around, one guy tried to hit someone with a car. Another one threw a picture frame that narrowly missed smashing my supervisor's head, another threw such a temper tantrum that he smashed an entire set of chairs and a kitchen table."
"There was also someone who called the police because we changed the prices on soft-cover books."
– carefulwithyrbananas
T.M.I.
"Saw one guy drop dead (office job)"
"One get an arm cut off (Pulp mill)"
"One get de-gloved (Paper mill)"
"But the winner was the day we walked into work at an auto parts store and found the assistant manager f'king another assistant manager. Just going at it."
– Bigdaddyjlove1
Mechanical Nightmare
"Box cutting job saw a guy die after losing his arm to the machine. I still to this day dont know how my room mate at the time kept going to work for another few weeks before quitting."
"We'd go to work stoned off our a**es everyday. And seeing that guy die was a nope for me. I knew it was far to easy for the same mistake to happen to me stoned. Wasn't gonna get sucked in and die for 15 bucks an hr."
"Any heavy machinery related jobs since Ive made sure to ask about work related accidents and how common they are along with when the last one happened."
– idontneedjug
When I was a parade performer at certain theme park, we performed on a day when it was reportedly record-breaking heat, and some of my fellow performers who were dancing atop a couple of the floats collapsed and passed out from heat stroke in view of guests.
It was the scariest thing to see several paramedics bursting onto the scene and taking these unconscious young performers being carried away in stretchers.
Since then, the park instituted a code-90 protocol where the choreography was modified whenever the temperature hit 90 degrees.
Be it desperation, self-indulgence, or simply optimism, many people never leave home without a condom.
If the chances of "getting lucky" are much more likely at some places than others, one never knows where or when they might hit it off with someone.
Including a funeral.
Bizarre and tasteless as that sounds, a recent study reportedly showed that 1 in 8 men under the age of 35 do, in fact, bring condoms with them when attending a funeral, "just in case".
Whether or not these condoms were used, however, is another story entirely.
"After a recent study found 1 in 8 men under 35 admit to taking condoms to funerals "just in case", what's your experience with this?"
Select Crowd...
"I went to my grandma's funeral and hit it off with this hot nurse."
"Things were going great until my brother pulled me aside and said it was my second cousin."
'You know who shows up at funerals for old people? "
"Family members."- bumblef**kglobal
"I remember seeing a really hot chick at my grandmother's funeral."
"Immediately thought was I should chat her up."
"Then my brain went to, 'What if she's family and we just never met?'"
"I just went back to mourning."- VideoGameDana
Okay then...
"Once I was dating a girl whose dad absolutely forbid us from dating."
"Like, would lock his daughter in her room and take her phone to make sure we did not communicate."
"She told me when we spoke for a moment at Starbucks that she would date me if her dad was out of the picture."
"He died is a car crash on the freeway, and since her mom liked me invited me to the funeral."
"My girl and I sat next to each other at the funeral and couldn't wait, got it on in the parking lot of the funeral home."
"Condom was necessary."- crunchysquare
car studio GIF by ZI ItalyGiphyNever The Funeral, Always The Wake
"Ngl, some of the best parties I’ve been to have been wakes."
"In no way disrespectful, they were a celebration of the person’s life and also a massive tension release after grimness of the funeral itself."
"So I’m not surprised some people take a condom just in case."
"I’ve never done it, but I didn’t often expect to get laid regardless of situation."- Goryokaku
Oops...
"Proudly in the 7 out of 8 camp."
"But the 1 in 8 aren’t wrong."
"Heard through the family grapevine that one of my female cousins met a dude at a funeral and they banged it out the same night."
"Also turns out they were related (what’re the odds at the funeral of a relative? )."
"Distant enough they would never see each other again (different branches of her family), close enough that their family photo albums have overlapping people."- ESQBOJaguar
If You Really Think About It...
"Biologically speaking mourning/death triggers mating instincts as though that death tells the lizard brain in us that we need to procreate because death is scary."
"Scum'ically speaking, funerals typically leave people especially women in a state of fragility that leaves them vulnerable to suggestion and coercion."
"Socially speaking, some people, both men and women, seek comfort and company after/during a mourning period and when two people engage in comforting each other emotionally through a death it can trigger chemicals in the brain that cause the idea of connection or chemistry which can inevitably lead to copulation."- KURO-K1SH1
Season 18 Episode 3 GIF by The SimpsonsGiphyBetter Safe Than Sorry!
"If you forget to bring a condom you increase the chance of casual sex with 10.000%."
"It’s a well-known fact."- Mukkeman
Not Just Men...
"I'm not a man and I've taken condoms 'just in case' pretty much anywhere."
"I've told folks to take condoms 'just in case' to a festival who I was sure would never have a one night stand and who I had never even seen mingle with any man/woman."
"It's a safety."
"The thing costs less than a dollar, but if anything somehow would happen, not having it could cost you your healthiness or independence/freedom due to a child being your new responsibility."
"Unless you absolutely, 100% am sure you will not be having sex that day, and no one will be able to change your mind - carry a condom."
"And having visited a funeral is likely not impactful enough to everyone to make them absolutely sure of that."-deterministic_lynx
It Is, Indeed, A Source Of Comfort...
"I'm a woman, but I'm going to point out that grief affects everyone differently."
"Some people get an intense need for sex when they are grieving, I speak from experience here."
"Perhaps they're carrying them everywhere already, but choosing to take some specifically to a funeral makes perfect sense to me."- Sexy-Snowflake
"My bf's son died, and his sex drive was significantly higher around that time period, I think it's just a way men deal with stress."- Arielxxxlee
"There is no 'wrong' way to grieve."- Noctudeit
Sexy Ava Gardner GIF by Turner Classic MoviesGiphyAlways Listen To Your Mother...
"When I turned 15 my mom told me to always have a condom in my wallet just in case."
"That was before people realized it was really bad to keep it in your wallet."
"So yeah I’ve been pretty much everywhere with one 'just in case'."- euphoria110
If It's Already There, Why Take It Out?
"I do too."
"I'm not going to remove the random condom that is in my wallet just because I'm going to a funeral."
"Not that I ever needed one, I'm still a virgin BTW."- azarbi
When One Life Ends, Another Begins...
"I’ve heard that the proximity of death increases the desire to make new life."
"Anecdotally, my FIL and MIL met at a funeral and 9 months later my husband was born."- KerouacsGirlfriend
Lionel Messi Hug GIF by FC BarcelonaGiphyNot SPECIFICALLY Funerals...
"We bring condoms everywhere, 'just in case', not only the funeral, you silly!"- WeetIkVeelNL
No one should be judged if they happen to have a condom with them when attending a funeral.
After all, should the moment arise, better to be prepared and safe.
On the other hand, if any of these people are attending the funeral with the intention of "getting lucky", that's just... yeah...
The Best Real-Life Examples Of 'Never Interrupt An Enemy While They're Making A Mistake'
People will trip themselves up eventually.
Because liars and lunatics always make mistakes.
They may be small mistakes, but they leave just enough room to expose their wicked ways.
Sure we all want to fight off an enemy and be the victor.
But sometimes the victor's greatest weapon is nothing but a little patience.
Then, we celebrate with a smile as we watch the crumble.
And maybe we have a little victory dance.
Redditor Spinksy48 wanted to understand the fun of letting your opponent lose by just doing nothing, so they asked:
"What is your 'never interrupt an enemy while they are making a mistake' moment?"
If the story starts to get really crazy, just wait for a break.
Then ask a question from the beginning.
I guarantee you know more of the lie than they do.
Just keep talking, friend.
Gotcha
Dashcam Hello GIF by TranscendGiphy"I let the lady who changed lanes into me run her mouth about how I rear-ended her before pulling the cop aside to show him my DashCam footage."
ThrowingChicken
A Cherry Wave
"I was accused by a neighbor of reversing out of my drive and hitting his car. He gave me the date and time I had allegedly done it and pointed to a (small) scrape on my car that supposedly matched perfectly the location of the dent on his. This was 7 weeks after the alleged event, by the way."
"I said it wasn't me but told him to contact his insurance and we'd see what they said. A few weeks later I get a letter from my insurance asking what had happened, to which I responded with the date I had bought my car (and updated my insurance) - two weeks after the supposed bump."
"He never spoke to me again but I used to give him a cheery wave every time I saw him glowering at his window."
Gazcobain
Speak Once
"In a meeting with my project manager who has not been in the office or worked a proper full day for MONTHS, she has increasingly been annoyed by people bypassing her to get things done by telling me and her other direct reports what to do."
"I was about to answer a question for stakeholders, and she told me to let her speak one sentence and will let me have my bit. I did as I was told, and she told the stakeholder a completely wrong thing about the system we were handling and made a complete fool out of herself. She got sacked this month."
choiaera
We Hated Each Other
"Guy stole a presentation from me, this is 25 years ago. We hated each other. When he started presenting I realized I had made a huge error, didn’t say anything. Let him get through it. Asked him about the error, but he couldn’t answer. This was in front of COO. Got fired, not for just that, he was an overall douche. This was before everyone was on PCs, and had one printer in one room."
Bmilvis
Whoops
Office Space GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphy"When a coworker who I hated got fired a few weeks after I decided to stop fixing his mistakes even if it impacted a client."
Hrekires
It's always thrilling to see the bad colleagues go!
Bye. Bye. Bye.
I will see you on the 15th
Idiot Reaction GIFGiphy"Not my story, but several years ago my older brother was fighting for custody of his son with his ex-wife. As the first custody hearing date approached, they were exchanging [un]pleasantries over text and my brother ended up saying something along the lines of, 'I'm not continuing this conversation. I will see you on the 15th.' The ex-wife told him, 'The hearing is on the 25th dumba**.'"
"So of course instead of correcting her, my brother just allowed her to keep thinking it was the wrong date, and she missed the first hearing entirely. It became the first of many mistakes she made in the court system that eventually led to my brother and the woman who is now his second wife winning full custody of his son."
Damn_Furries
Follow the Prints
"I'm working on a job site and the architect is there one day. I've been given some light fixtures for the sconces in a leasing office lobby. The fixtures are meant to be hung from a ceiling, they can't be installed on a wall. I attempt to convey this to the architect, but he brushes me off and just tells me to follow the prints."
"I turn to the apprentice and say, well you heard the man, put them up. A bit later, we hear the crashing of glass. The architect asks what was that? I said your light fixture. As I picked up a broom and dustpan to go clean up."
Ohhhhhhthehumanity
No Debt
"As I was being fired from a job, the district manager requested we record the conversation. He thought I was gonna be very upset, so I obliged. Then when he started to tell me why I was being fired he started with, 'You are gonna be graduating college soon, and we want to make sure we get ahead of you leaving us.'"
"I very calmly asked him to send me the recording right after he said that. Then later that day I called a lawyer. I now have no student loan debt."
JRTHEAMAZING
The Screams
"I reminded my ex-wife the divorce court was the next day and was invited to Get F**ked. So I went by myself, she failed to appear and pissed off the Judge so he asked what would be my desired outcome for assets and Custody of the kids. He wrote down whatever I wanted and I could hear her screams when she read the Orders from 3500km away."
comfortablynumb15
Silence
"There's a thing in law enforcement/legalese called a spontaneous utterance. Many many people will bury their own cases with these while bi*ching and moaning at their arresting officer on the way to jail."
raccoonsonbicycles
That last one is good knowledge to have in the back pocket.