Cheaters Shamefully Admit How They Were Caught By Their Significant Other
WhY do we do it? Why do we cheat? Men and women, we are all guilty. It seems like sex and lust also make us all stupid. Cheaters always get caught, usually because we don't pay attention; our brains are still in the sheets. I think it may actually be easier to get away with murder.
Redditor Izanage asked, Former cheaters of Reddit how were you caught by your significant other? And did that ever open a Pandora's Box!!
6TH GRADE IS A LONG TIME AGO AND... "I STILL HATE YOU CHRIS!!"
I've been cheated on and cheated with but never cheated. Each time the cheater just fessed up and told the truth.
Except my 6th grade boyfriend, Chris. I found out from everyone else in my middle school that he made out with some skank at the movie that he had invited me to but I was busy. F@#@ you, Chris. Totally over it though.
DAMN YOU NETFLIX!! DAMN YOU TO HELL!!
I forgot to go back and mark the episodes as unwatched.
I SALUTE YOU!
Go to gym, no headphones! That's cool, house is 5 minutes away. Pull up and see work buddies car out front. Walk in house through open garage. son coloring at kitchen table. Ask him "Hey bud where's your mom?". He points at the stairs. Walk to stairs hear moans and movement. Up to this point I had suspected but never had proof. Knew I had to go look and catch her or she would say I was overreacting and tell me it wasn't what I thought. Walk upstairs and hear them in spare bedroom. Walk in room and say "well this is awkward". They freak out and try to grab cloths and tell me nothing is happening. I walk out to car and have ex buddy chase me out and tell me to hit him. I go to my command ( I'm in the military) the next day. Report him and have the command force him to call his wife that day and let her know. I am now divorced and much happier!
I SEE YOU! YOU AIN'T SLICK!
I doubt I'll ever get the truth on it, but my ex (we were together 6 years, engaged for a year and a half) went on a work trip to Vegas, we were 8 months away from our wedding, half of it was paid for (venue, videographer, photographer, flowers, catering all had deposits, dress was bought and paid for)... And when she got back from the trip she said "I don't love you anymore." Kicked me out of the apartment and had a new guy move in 3 weeks later and got engaged to him a few months ago (about a year and a half after the split) . Either she had been cheating for a while or thinking about it or both. Either way it was the best thing that ever happened to me, while simultaneously being the most painful thing I've ever experienced. I'm MUCH better off now and MUCH happier and healthier as well. I'm finally over it (almost 2 years later) and although she hurt me pretty bad, I look back and realize that I hated myself ( I was severely overweight) and wasn't in any position to love someone the way they needed because I didn't love myself. Life will s*** on you, and you either wipe it off and learn from it, or sit and play in it and get used to the stench and no one wants to be around you...Your choice!
I WILL BE AVENGED!!
20ish years ago I caught my ex but in bed with another guy. On Valentine's Day. With a dozen roses in my hand. Fighting would get you kicked out of college, so I told the much smaller guy once I saw him off campus, I'd kill him. Fifteen years and world's later, I'm at an engagement party at a bar, and some friends come up and tell me the guy over there is scared of me and thinks I'm going to kill him. I look over and couldn't stop laughing. It was so far in the past, but for some reason that guy remembered it like I had sworn an oath to avenge my family. It felt good. His fear was redemption enough.
DON'T BE SO SUSPICIOUS.
I once had to go out of town for work on Valentine's Day. I was legitimately working, but the girl I was seeing at the time was told by a friend "If he's working on V Day, you're the side chick." so she confronted me when I got home, then dumped me.
So I was dumped for "cheating" even though I wasn't cheating.
SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST STRAIGHT UP STUPID/CRAZY!
I caught my ex when we were both standing in the examining room, getting his "UTI treatment." Doc came in and said gonorrhea. He lied for a whole 2-3 months I imagine. Even lied about how he got it, tried convincing me he swiped his penis in some mystery fluids in a gas station toilet.
When he realized I wasn't fucking stupid, he tried to drink random bottles on the doctor's shelf. He started hitting himself. He fell on his knees sobbing and tried grabbing my hands and begging for me not to leave.
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?!
Smiling at my cell phone too much!
HO-HO-HO, HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
My fiancé left me two days before Christmas. She told me she need to move out and get space. That she was moving to her friends house. This went on for a week, until, because we have a family Apple plan. I looked up her location. And she was not at her friends house...
I'm now a single dad of a one year old and she's moving out west with him. Merry Christmas.
FACEBOOK IS NOT YOUR FREIND!
My dad was recently caught cheating on my mom after 27 years. While using his laptop my mom noticed Facebook said "Hello Mike Long, can we log you back in?" My sweet mom still had no idea he was cheating, until my teenage sister broke it to her that he's using a fake account. That only opened a whole other world of nasty surprises. Love you dad, but I also hate you.
WHAT IS THIS DYNASTY?
Oh I have a story a little similar to this.
Friend's dad owns a company and his wife works with him to run it. She begins having an affair with an employee at the company and does stuff like you just said; brings the guy over to the house, has the kids treat him like their dad, etc. Friends dad uncovers it and divorces her.
_Except there's a catch. The dad destroys the mom in divorce proceedings because he has significant evidence of infidelity, and then quickly gets re-married (like within a couple months). Also, the mom's affair started after the dad sent her on several business trips with the other employee. Turns out the marriage was falling apart, he was cheating, and he knew she would cheat if given the opportunity, so he basically set her up with this guy until he got his evidence so he could get the whole company in the divorce which she would have otherwise had a claim to. _
DIDN'T SEE THAT TWIST COMING!
It happened to a friend of mine. We were all on vacation (about 7 friends) and everybody was drinking. We were the only two who didn't. He managed to snag his girlfriend's phone while she was passed out and pulled me to the side. He said "she's cheating on me, some guy named joey texting her and meeting her after work for sex everyday. Plus how he can make her extra hot." We ended up searching names and mural friends via facebook. Turned out joey was a girl.
WHAT AN ENTRANCE!
While at uni I walked on an argument between my gf and her housemate as the housemate shouted "at least I'm not a skank who sleeps with everyone when she goes home"
Turned out she was sleeping around.
GOODNIGHT & GOODBYE!
I caught my boyfriend of two years. He had asked me to proof read his paper on his Mac and the text messenger popped up in the right hand. He was sitting in his bed texting some girl "goodnight I love you" while sitting right next to me in his bed. I deleted his entire paper, wrote "who's Marissa?" saved it and told him it looks great and left. She was his girlfriend of 8 years who lived next to his parents 2hrs away.
GOOGLE GONNA FIND YOU!
I signed into her Google Account to check her emails (She forgot her password so I had to reset it). I checked her Google Maps history and her most recent visits where at my best friends house while I was away for work.
+1 for Google Maps
ROSS TO RACHEL : WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!
Was on a "break" with my girlfriend at the time. Got a text from a girl that had mutual friends with and knew each other kind of well - started having dirty conversation, talking about sleeping together, etc. Turns out my girlfriend at the time had gotten a burner phone with a different number and was the one sending me the texts the whole time. She was not pleased.
NOW THERE IS A FUN FAMILY ALBUM.
Not me but my wife. We started getting distant from each other and we had planned a trip to see my grandparents who live a few states away.
A month before the planned trip she told me that she wanted to cancel it and go to a family reunion on her side of the family in a completely different state and that she wanted to go alone and not bring out kids. I thought it was weird because wouldn't you want to introduce your kids to family they never see?? Like I said we were growing distant so I just said ok fine go. Maybe he time apart will be good for us.
She came back and suddenly wanted to move across the county to "go work at a hospital job that her distant aunt had offered her." Didn't even ask me if I was willing to go. I told her "you do whatever it is you need to do to be you, but you're not taking the kids." After a few days she realized that she couldn't leave and not see the kids so she begged me to forgive her. I did.
Over the next month we became more distant than we were before all this had happened. I took lunch at work and decided to go home for it (which I never do). Also when I got home there was nobody home so I decided to go through her computer (which I also never do). Found pictures of her with some guy she had met on zynga poker who lived guess where....the state that her supposed family reunion was!! I've never had a panic attack until this day. I had to call my neighbor and have him sit with me because I legit thought I was having a heart attack. Took pictures of everything I found, other pictures, emails, and facebook messages. I waited until the kids were in bed ( I refuse to fight and scream in front of them) and laid all my pictures out there for her to see. Not a fun day.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY. NOT SO MUCH!
Not me, but how I discovered my high school girl friend was cheating on me. She told me for my birthday.
My ex-girlfriend cheated on me while I was in basic training. I was allowed to call on my birthday. Being madly in love, I used it to call my girlfriend who was pregnant with our daughter. I remember the conversation as if it were yesterday.
Me: Hey babe, I miss you, how are you doing?
Her: Ok, I have someone who wants to talk to you.
New boyfriend: Hey man, don't worry about her, I am taking good care of her.
Me: Oh, okay. May I talk to her?
_New boyfriend: Sure, here she is. _
Me: This is bull. (Slamming down the receiver for the pay phone.)
Apparently I echoed. I received a letter from her that day with her telling me she had a miscarriage. Which later, found to be a lie.
KNOCK FIRST PLEASE.
I forgot I gave her an extra key.
CRAIGSLIST? SIGN UP FOR AN STD CHECK WHILE YOU'RE AT IT. GEESH!
Advertised myself on Craigslist Casual Encounters and her brother-in-law found me on there. It wasn't until some time later I questioned what he was doing in there also.
Sometimes you just don't have any money and you have to make it work. I learned how to make the most out of bargains at the grocery store and know how to make food that is hearty and will last more than a day or two. Beans and rice are your friends, by the way. You'd be surprised by how many delicious meals you can make with just these two basic ingredients.
Being poor requires you to be creative.
Penny pinching is an art, as we were so deftly reminded after Redditor naranja_cheese asked the online community,
"What is the most penny pinching you've ever done?"
"I used to steal..."
"I used to steal half-used rolls of tp when I was a janitor. Lived off white rice and Worcestershire sauce for months. Got a job as a cook & always saved a few scraps while plating people's food so I would have something to eat without paying for a meal. Also worked at a butcher shop& would take home bones to roast and make a stew with. I can share hundreds of things like this."
"I worked part-time..."
"I worked part-time in school, but was pretty broke. I wasn't being paid until the following day, and I needed soy sauce for my extra super tasty stir fry. I literally had negative funds in my account. So I went to the grocery store, grabbed a sushi tray, threw a ton of packets of soy sauce in my pocket (they don't charge you for these), wandered a bit, pretended I changed my mind, and left."
"While at the grocery store..."
"While at the grocery store, putting back that pack of chicken breast that cost $2.98 for the other pack of chicken breast that cost $2.95."
"Things were insanely tight..."
"Used to make my own laundry detergent during a time when we had relocated and our prior home had not sold so we had rent on top of a mortgage for 18 months. Things were insanely tight in those days, to say the least."
I definitely know what this is like.
"I took some cedar boards..."
"I had no money for Christmas gifts. I only had enough to pay rent. I took some cedar boards in the backyard, cut them, burnt them a little black as I had no money to finish them. Then I passed them off as cutting boards."
"One Friday night..."
"One Friday night in college, my two buddies and I had a grand total of $3 to our names. I bought a box of Mac 'n Cheese, a can(!) of escargot, and three Lil' Debbie Star Crunches. We had a full meal with starch, protein, and dessert."
"I lived on pasta..."
"When I was at university my entire budget was less than £40 a week. I lived on pasta and stolen sauce packets from the Students Union. The cafeteria ladies would always take pity on me at closing time and give me free burgers."
"I lost my job..."
"I lost my job and lived in a $1400/month apartment where electricity (which included heat) and internet were ludicrously expensive. $400-450 a month in the winter because the building was an old mill with huge windows and no insulation. Fortunately, gas and water were free."
"I only turned on my lights when I had to, turned off the heat entirely, and heated my apartment by boiling a huge pot of water on the gas stove 24 hours a day and going to the business center to use the free DSL connection to apply for jobs. I ate rice with frozen vegetables and spices for three months."
"It sucked, but I got by."
Hopefully things are much better now.
"If I ate fast food..."
"If I ate fast food or takeout food, I would ask for extra sauce packets or garnishes that they give out for free. I would stock up on them, use them when I cook instead of buying the stuff from the store. For example, a $1 box of pasta, a clove of garlic, and 2-3 ramekins of parm cheese, half ramekin of chili flakes, and a pinch of Italian herbs I got from a pizza place makes a quick meal."
"My local mall..."
"My local mall used to do paid surveys, you'd watch a video or try some new soda or whatever and they'd give you a couple of dollars. Then I'd use that to buy a meal."
Sometimes you've just gotta do what you've gotta do. It's not easy.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below!
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Now, this isn't going to be a long, "Let's all pile on how bad the internet is and only think about the good ol' days when the rocks were soft and we could only communicate using cans with string."
People old enough to remember life pre-Internet, what are some less obvious things you miss about that time?
Many habits we used to possess were made completely irrelevant thanks to the internet. Not that we didn't enjoy doing them, we just started asking ourselves, "What's the point?"
Completely Devoid Of Technological Interference
"Leaving home and just being gone for the day. No cell phones. If there were cameras, it was really different. You used them to take pictures of things or had people take pictures of you. But there was no social media to preoccupy your mind. It was just doing something. And whoever you were with, was who you were with."
No One Needs 24 Hours Of Nonsense
"News only being on at 6pm. That was it. Now we have 6 hours of local news and 24 hours of cable news. Not being bombarded all day with "news." And when you saw "Breaking News" on the screen you knew something serious went down."
You Mean We Actually Have To Go?
"It used to be a lot harder to bail on things. You'd have to call the person at home and tell them yourself, or at least leave a message if you wanted to be risky. Typically if you were gonna bail you'd give at least 24 hours notice. Nowadays people can let you know they're bailing last second since you're always reachable."
"RSVPing mattered. If you said you were going to be there, you made sure to be there. None of this facebook invites that everyone blows off without any form of social repercussions. If you said you were going to go and didn't go, you were the a--hole and everyone knew it."
You can get almost anything on the internet. Almost. Still no sign of real working Lightsabers anywhere out there, but the internet has eliminated many of our purchasing practices.
Just In Time For The Holidays!
"The Sears catalog. That was how I found out about all the cool new toys."
"Catalogs in general, for me. Before the internet made mindless browsing of stuff you didn't need ~really~ easy to do, we still liked doing this without having to drive to the mall. The solution? Sign your mom up for those cool seed catalogs, those not safe to browse at the office gag gift catalogs and then everything in between. That stuff was really nice to have when you grew up somewhere that was not even cable ready."
1 Good Song Out Of 15
"When you bought new music you just had to hope it was good. The single might be popular but otherwise unless someone had it you just bought it and hoped for the best."
"There was so much excitement to going to a cd store to buy an album that you only knew one song of or the band/artist name and just listening to that entire cd over and over again picking out which tracks were your favorite while still learning every lyric to all the songs on the album.
Building a cd collection was also fun."
Talk About The "Immediate Gratification" Generation, Huh?
"The instant win bottle caps / candy / chocolate bar wrappers where you could turn them back into the store and immediately get a free one. Now it's just codes you have to register on their website so they can get your info, i don't even bother anymore."
Finally, there's these activities, to difficult to explain to anyone who wasn't there. How do you get someone to understand that not having a supercomputer in your pocket at all hours of the day radically changed your life?
Keeping It In Front Of You
"I miss having an attention span of more than three seconds"
"It's so weird. I can only vaguely remember what it feels like to not have a smartphone and to be alone and think.
Wondering what my friends are doing and if they'd like to do something on the weekend. We'd have to talk during lunch break at school and plan it...
Trying to find the answer to a math problem... Having to figure it out by re-reading the problem and explanations 5 times."
There Used To Be A Time When You Couldn't Play Everything
"Not being overwhelmed by choice.
Don't get me wrong, having nearly every form of media downloadable is great, but back in the day, i rented a video game and i played that video game as much as i could.
Now, its hard to give it more than 2 seconds before i try one of the 20,000 games i have access to.
New game plus used to be cool. Now, I'm happy if just beat the game"
Floundering. Just A Little.
"My formative years were the 1980s. I remember like yesterday going to study in Paris my junior year of college. I got off the plane with no cell phone, no internet, a Let's Go Paris book, and just a hostel address written on a piece of paper I'd stuck in a French dictionary. I did not know a single person in all of France.
I had $500 of cash stuck in a money belt. The belt was tight and sweaty but that money had to last me for at least a month until I could find a part-time job with my lousy French. My "credit card" was my father's credit card numbers written down on a piece of paper. He told me I could only use it to buy a plane ticket home in an emergency.
I remember standing in the airport and having this powerful emotion of being 21 years old, scared sh-tless, but in absolutely completely control of my own destiny. There was absolutely nobody who could come rushing to my aid if I needed it. I was 100% on my own.
I'm actually very thankful for that experience. I found the hostel. I found a job. I made friends. I learned French. I made it all on my own which was just a big boost in life confidence.
I have no doubt if I'd had a cell phone I would've called my parents on Day 2, told them it was too hard, and been on the next plane home. But I had no other choice but to succeed."
We can never go back. Not really, anyway. The only way is to keep going forward, be aware of the effect the internet has on us, and do our best to not let it take away the things that really matter in our lives.
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Look, unless you enjoy cooking, no one likes spending time in the kitchen longer than they have to in order to whip up something mediocre to eat.
Ordering food or, for the time being, enjoying a socially distanced lunch at an establishment is convenient, but it can take a toll on your wallet.
So what options are there?
Fortunately, there are plenty of them that do not involve nuking a frozen entree.
"What's your go-to under 5 minute meal?"
These dinner selections are super sufficient.
A Loaded Course
"Two hotdogs and a side of judgement from my fiancé"
In Case You Didn't Know
"Quesadilla. super quick and easy to make and there's a ton of ingredients that you can add without much effort that will make it even better."
"Ramen and an egg, but not the traditional way."
- "Boil roughly half an inch of water (we want just enough water to boil the noodles, with very little water left over when it's done boiling)."
- "Smash up the ramen noodles, while still in the package (optional but cooks MUCH faster)."
- "Open the package and remove the seasoning."
- "Dump the noodles in."
- "While boiling, crack an egg and whisk in a small bowl."
- "Noodles should be done and almost all the water should be gone, if not strain out some.
- Remove from the heat."
- "Slowly pour in the egg while mixing very quickly, try not to let the egg touch the pan."
- "Mix as much of the seasoning packet as you like (I prefer 1/2 - 3/4 because I usually add a salty component at the end.)"
- "Add to bowl and top with some chives, thinly sliced, ripped up ham/salami and/or parsley. Leftover bacon or pancetta are fantastic crunchy components to dial up the texture."
"Easy, fast and checks so many of the 'munchie' boxes for me."
Don't Underestimate Soups
"Tomato soup and add tortellini. I like the spinach ones from Trader Joe's and Progreso creamy tomato with basil. It's bomb and it really makes a decent meal."
For people in a rush, these tasty snacks would suffice.
Goes Well With Veggies And Cheese
"Hummus is such an underrated food. It goes well with a lot of veggies and breads and chips or heck even cheese. All the time I hear hummus being listed as one of those weird, gross foods when its actually an amazing snack, or a meal if done correctly. It's not really unhealthy, either, especially if eaten with veggies (celery and carrots go great with hummus)."
Ready In Seconds
"All I do is get a paper towel, and put 5 Oreos on it."
"Then go back and get the whole package."
Peanut Butter Fantasies
"Peanut butter sandwich."
"If I'm feeling extra froggy I'll add nutella to the peanut butter and honey sandwich and put it in the microwave for 30 seconds. Goes down about as well as a popeye's biscuit though."
"It's like cheating the system. You eat sweets and call it healthy."
Start your day without all the hassle of a fancy breakfast.
Put It In A Bowl
"Oatmeal or cereal."
"Cereal is definitely underrated as a meal outside of the breakfast dynamic."
"A very simple recipe my grandma prepared for me when i was a kid."
"It's basically scrambled eggs...but before adding the egg she would cook sweetcorn (from a can) with a little bit of butter, add the eggs and then when the eggs were almost ready, add small cubes of cheese and cook for a minute or until the cheese start to melt (she was using fontal, but any swiss or white cheddar will do). Just a little black pepper and salt."
"Takes 5 minutes to do but it's absolutely delicious, fill you up, not so unhealthy and I feel my late grandma with me."
'I tried variations with chives or spring onions, paprika or other stuff. Still good but nothing as good as a simple "uova strapazzate con mais e formaggio.'"
I consider yogurt a healthy snack/lunch option.
I like having a bowl of non-fat plain Greek yogurt with raspberries, blueberries, sprinkled with granola and drizzled with honey.
It's packed with nutrients and gives me a nice boost of energy.
Yogurt also makes for a perfect chip dip. I sprinkle some onion soup mix and stir in the mixture. Who knew quick and easy food prep could be so delicious?
We all like to assume that a big old scar has an amazing, hardcore story behind it: maybe a valiant fight or some life threatening-escape.
But despite what Hollywood would have us think, that is so rarely the case.
Usually, some kind of bizarre accident leaves us with the biggest scar of our life. There's no action movie story behind it, just a careful mixture of foolishness and bad luck.
Clearly not put off by some gruesome anecdotes, Redditor fluffybear45 asked:
"People with scars, how did you get them?"
For many, it was the wild antics of childhood that left them slightly maimed. With many years now separating the Redditor from the event, these were pretty hilarious.
Out of Nowhere!
"I was playing on a swing and then my leg got stuck in barbed wire." -- Soviet_God-Emperor
"I feel like we missed a couple steps here, or your local park had some serious issues." -- Henfrid
"Yo that went from 0 to 100 real fast" -- IHaveButt
"2nd grade, defective slip-n-slide." -- AdmiralAkbar1
"I'm pretty sure the general design of the slip'n'slide was defective. Those stakes weren't covered originally, so you had to be straight down the middle of the slide or else....." -- Q-burt
"Could you refer to this incident in a gravely voice while staring into the middle distance, pausing only to shudder and sip your scotch?" -- CaptValentine
That's Why You Need an Axe Yard
"My dad hit me with an axe (bladed side) in the face. Stupid 10 yo me just had to look over his shoulder while he was hammering in herrings for our tent."
Others talked about freak accidents that came not from the stupidity of childhood, but the bad luck of mistakes made as an adult.
Bad Conditions for Practice
"Dad gave me a folding knife for Christmas"
"I read online that you could flick it open with one hand"
"So I practiced it, after my hands were greasy from eating a burger"
Take Your Pick
"Multiple long scars on my back are from falling onto a old soviet steel welcome mat ( i dont know how to describe it in english but its meant to wipe dirt of your shoes with triangle shaped steel beams."
"Medium sized one on my forearm is from a barbed wire fence, another one next to it is from a motorcycle accident and one on the base on my thumb is from a cars hood slipping and cutting me."
One Heck Of a Fall
" 'This one is from a skateboard, this one was a truck accident, and this one was a fire hydrant.' "
" 'Oh really? I bet each one has a very unique story.' "
" 'Not really, I skateboarded off of a truck into a fire hydrant.' "
Last, some people talked about the medical procedures that left them with the big gash. These stories had some ninth grade words and not nearly as much stupidity.
"A rare auto immune disorder called pyoderma gangrenosum twice... Don't google If you don't like gore... I had to have daily wound care and high doses of medical steroids"
"My intestines telescoped on themselves 8" scar on my belly." -- Anom8675309
"I never wanted to see the words 'intestines' and 'telescoped' together. Ouch." -- LadySygerrik
"I was born 2 months premature. I wasn't born with an esophagus so drs. cut my stomach open and used parts of my colon or intestines and created a new one for me. I have a huge scar on my neck and my stomach is one big scar. Also had a stomach feeding tube for quite a bit and heart surgery at 2 days old."
"I love science. I wouldn't have experienced life if it hadn't been for advances in medical science."
So if you've been sitting on an embarrassing backstory for one of your scars, feel free to share. You're hardly alone.
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