Cheaters Shamefully Admit How They Were Caught By Their Significant Other
WhY do we do it? Why do we cheat? Men and women, we are all guilty. It seems like sex and lust also make us all stupid. Cheaters always get caught, usually because we don't pay attention; our brains are still in the sheets. I think it may actually be easier to get away with murder.
Redditor Izanage asked, Former cheaters of Reddit how were you caught by your significant other? And did that ever open a Pandora's Box!!
6TH GRADE IS A LONG TIME AGO AND... "I STILL HATE YOU CHRIS!!"
I've been cheated on and cheated with but never cheated. Each time the cheater just fessed up and told the truth.
Except my 6th grade boyfriend, Chris. I found out from everyone else in my middle school that he made out with some skank at the movie that he had invited me to but I was busy. F@#@ you, Chris. Totally over it though.
DAMN YOU NETFLIX!! DAMN YOU TO HELL!!
I forgot to go back and mark the episodes as unwatched.
I SALUTE YOU!
Go to gym, no headphones! That's cool, house is 5 minutes away. Pull up and see work buddies car out front. Walk in house through open garage. son coloring at kitchen table. Ask him "Hey bud where's your mom?". He points at the stairs. Walk to stairs hear moans and movement. Up to this point I had suspected but never had proof. Knew I had to go look and catch her or she would say I was overreacting and tell me it wasn't what I thought. Walk upstairs and hear them in spare bedroom. Walk in room and say "well this is awkward". They freak out and try to grab cloths and tell me nothing is happening. I walk out to car and have ex buddy chase me out and tell me to hit him. I go to my command ( I'm in the military) the next day. Report him and have the command force him to call his wife that day and let her know. I am now divorced and much happier!
I SEE YOU! YOU AIN'T SLICK!
I doubt I'll ever get the truth on it, but my ex (we were together 6 years, engaged for a year and a half) went on a work trip to Vegas, we were 8 months away from our wedding, half of it was paid for (venue, videographer, photographer, flowers, catering all had deposits, dress was bought and paid for)... And when she got back from the trip she said "I don't love you anymore." Kicked me out of the apartment and had a new guy move in 3 weeks later and got engaged to him a few months ago (about a year and a half after the split) . Either she had been cheating for a while or thinking about it or both. Either way it was the best thing that ever happened to me, while simultaneously being the most painful thing I've ever experienced. I'm MUCH better off now and MUCH happier and healthier as well. I'm finally over it (almost 2 years later) and although she hurt me pretty bad, I look back and realize that I hated myself ( I was severely overweight) and wasn't in any position to love someone the way they needed because I didn't love myself. Life will s*** on you, and you either wipe it off and learn from it, or sit and play in it and get used to the stench and no one wants to be around you...Your choice!
I WILL BE AVENGED!!
20ish years ago I caught my ex but in bed with another guy. On Valentine's Day. With a dozen roses in my hand. Fighting would get you kicked out of college, so I told the much smaller guy once I saw him off campus, I'd kill him. Fifteen years and world's later, I'm at an engagement party at a bar, and some friends come up and tell me the guy over there is scared of me and thinks I'm going to kill him. I look over and couldn't stop laughing. It was so far in the past, but for some reason that guy remembered it like I had sworn an oath to avenge my family. It felt good. His fear was redemption enough.
DON'T BE SO SUSPICIOUS.
I once had to go out of town for work on Valentine's Day. I was legitimately working, but the girl I was seeing at the time was told by a friend "If he's working on V Day, you're the side chick." so she confronted me when I got home, then dumped me.
So I was dumped for "cheating" even though I wasn't cheating.
SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST STRAIGHT UP STUPID/CRAZY!
I caught my ex when we were both standing in the examining room, getting his "UTI treatment." Doc came in and said gonorrhea. He lied for a whole 2-3 months I imagine. Even lied about how he got it, tried convincing me he swiped his penis in some mystery fluids in a gas station toilet.
When he realized I wasn't fucking stupid, he tried to drink random bottles on the doctor's shelf. He started hitting himself. He fell on his knees sobbing and tried grabbing my hands and begging for me not to leave.
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?!
Smiling at my cell phone too much!
HO-HO-HO, HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
My fiancé left me two days before Christmas. She told me she need to move out and get space. That she was moving to her friends house. This went on for a week, until, because we have a family Apple plan. I looked up her location. And she was not at her friends house...
I'm now a single dad of a one year old and she's moving out west with him. Merry Christmas.
FACEBOOK IS NOT YOUR FREIND!
My dad was recently caught cheating on my mom after 27 years. While using his laptop my mom noticed Facebook said "Hello Mike Long, can we log you back in?" My sweet mom still had no idea he was cheating, until my teenage sister broke it to her that he's using a fake account. That only opened a whole other world of nasty surprises. Love you dad, but I also hate you.
WHAT IS THIS DYNASTY?
Oh I have a story a little similar to this.
Friend's dad owns a company and his wife works with him to run it. She begins having an affair with an employee at the company and does stuff like you just said; brings the guy over to the house, has the kids treat him like their dad, etc. Friends dad uncovers it and divorces her.
_Except there's a catch. The dad destroys the mom in divorce proceedings because he has significant evidence of infidelity, and then quickly gets re-married (like within a couple months). Also, the mom's affair started after the dad sent her on several business trips with the other employee. Turns out the marriage was falling apart, he was cheating, and he knew she would cheat if given the opportunity, so he basically set her up with this guy until he got his evidence so he could get the whole company in the divorce which she would have otherwise had a claim to. _
DIDN'T SEE THAT TWIST COMING!
It happened to a friend of mine. We were all on vacation (about 7 friends) and everybody was drinking. We were the only two who didn't. He managed to snag his girlfriend's phone while she was passed out and pulled me to the side. He said "she's cheating on me, some guy named joey texting her and meeting her after work for sex everyday. Plus how he can make her extra hot." We ended up searching names and mural friends via facebook. Turned out joey was a girl.
WHAT AN ENTRANCE!
While at uni I walked on an argument between my gf and her housemate as the housemate shouted "at least I'm not a skank who sleeps with everyone when she goes home"
Turned out she was sleeping around.
GOODNIGHT & GOODBYE!
I caught my boyfriend of two years. He had asked me to proof read his paper on his Mac and the text messenger popped up in the right hand. He was sitting in his bed texting some girl "goodnight I love you" while sitting right next to me in his bed. I deleted his entire paper, wrote "who's Marissa?" saved it and told him it looks great and left. She was his girlfriend of 8 years who lived next to his parents 2hrs away.
GOOGLE GONNA FIND YOU!
I signed into her Google Account to check her emails (She forgot her password so I had to reset it). I checked her Google Maps history and her most recent visits where at my best friends house while I was away for work.
+1 for Google Maps
ROSS TO RACHEL : WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!
Was on a "break" with my girlfriend at the time. Got a text from a girl that had mutual friends with and knew each other kind of well - started having dirty conversation, talking about sleeping together, etc. Turns out my girlfriend at the time had gotten a burner phone with a different number and was the one sending me the texts the whole time. She was not pleased.
NOW THERE IS A FUN FAMILY ALBUM.
Not me but my wife. We started getting distant from each other and we had planned a trip to see my grandparents who live a few states away.
A month before the planned trip she told me that she wanted to cancel it and go to a family reunion on her side of the family in a completely different state and that she wanted to go alone and not bring out kids. I thought it was weird because wouldn't you want to introduce your kids to family they never see?? Like I said we were growing distant so I just said ok fine go. Maybe he time apart will be good for us.
She came back and suddenly wanted to move across the county to "go work at a hospital job that her distant aunt had offered her." Didn't even ask me if I was willing to go. I told her "you do whatever it is you need to do to be you, but you're not taking the kids." After a few days she realized that she couldn't leave and not see the kids so she begged me to forgive her. I did.
Over the next month we became more distant than we were before all this had happened. I took lunch at work and decided to go home for it (which I never do). Also when I got home there was nobody home so I decided to go through her computer (which I also never do). Found pictures of her with some guy she had met on zynga poker who lived guess where....the state that her supposed family reunion was!! I've never had a panic attack until this day. I had to call my neighbor and have him sit with me because I legit thought I was having a heart attack. Took pictures of everything I found, other pictures, emails, and facebook messages. I waited until the kids were in bed ( I refuse to fight and scream in front of them) and laid all my pictures out there for her to see. Not a fun day.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY. NOT SO MUCH!
Not me, but how I discovered my high school girl friend was cheating on me. She told me for my birthday.
My ex-girlfriend cheated on me while I was in basic training. I was allowed to call on my birthday. Being madly in love, I used it to call my girlfriend who was pregnant with our daughter. I remember the conversation as if it were yesterday.
Me: Hey babe, I miss you, how are you doing?
Her: Ok, I have someone who wants to talk to you.
New boyfriend: Hey man, don't worry about her, I am taking good care of her.
Me: Oh, okay. May I talk to her?
_New boyfriend: Sure, here she is. _
Me: This is bull. (Slamming down the receiver for the pay phone.)
Apparently I echoed. I received a letter from her that day with her telling me she had a miscarriage. Which later, found to be a lie.
KNOCK FIRST PLEASE.
I forgot I gave her an extra key.
CRAIGSLIST? SIGN UP FOR AN STD CHECK WHILE YOU'RE AT IT. GEESH!
Advertised myself on Craigslist Casual Encounters and her brother-in-law found me on there. It wasn't until some time later I questioned what he was doing in there also.
Some people don't take breakups very well. And those that don't can sometimes engage in behavior that others might view as bothersome, unsettling, even toxic.
Others engage in abusive behavior during the relationship, a major red flag that some people might not take seriously until it's too late.
After Redditor XYZ3110 asked the online community, "What's the creepiest thing an ex has done?" people shared their stories.
"I was so terrified..."<p><span>Let herself in my side door, after we had broken up, sat on my bed in silence, waited for me to wake up, just staring at me in the dark. I was so terrified, not knowing who it was, my adrenaline went off and I pushed her off the bed and across the room. She said "I'm sorry.. I'm sorry," and let herself out. I've locked the door every night since. This was 3 years ago.</span></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsukte/whats_the_creepiest_thing_an_ex_has_done/gotm7te?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">NE1NE1NE1NE1</a></p>
"I didn't believe him..."<p>He broke into my second-floor apartment through a window while I was out of town. Tracked dirt through my apartment, took a bath, didn't drain the tub, and left. He called me and told me he was going to break in. I didn't believe him...so weird.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsukte/whats_the_creepiest_thing_an_ex_has_done/gotv7i7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">rinacolada38</a></p>
This next one is just odd.<p>"A" for effort, though?</p>
"She spread a false rumor..."<p>She spread a false rumor about me f****** trees, and then went through all the effort of photoshopping pictures of me doing so.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsukte/whats_the_creepiest_thing_an_ex_has_done/gotbxia?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">froopty1</a></p>
"The times I left her alone..."<p>She was a snoop. The times I left her alone in my apartment she'd go through my things. My financial records, which I keep in a filing cabinet, my dresser drawers, my closets. I only discovered that she did it when she slipped-up and revealed information she'd only have if she snooped.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsukte/whats_the_creepiest_thing_an_ex_has_done/gotc8l2?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">LiterallyOuttoLunch</a></p>
"Thoroughly explained to me..."<p>Thoroughly explained to me how he studied negging and how he used it on me. Also called me 50 times one time because I wouldn't return a text.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsukte/whats_the_creepiest_thing_an_ex_has_done/gotdsd8?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">moscamoto</a></p>
"Went through my phone..."<p>Went through my phone when I was asleep and texted every female (I save everyone on my phone using their full government names) that she was my girlfriend and they'd better back off or she'd come after them and do them physical harm.</p><p>The thing is, the only numbers I have on my phone are all family. So I received multiple texts and calls the next day asking if I was okay or being held hostage.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsukte/whats_the_creepiest_thing_an_ex_has_done/gotulpd?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Deswizard</a></p>
"I figured it out..."<p>My ex would steal my panties from the laundry hamper in my bathroom when he would come to pick up our kid, then try to sneak them back the next time. I figured it out fairly quickly, then wouldn't allow him in my house to use the bathroom when he was picking our kid up. Grossed me out.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsukte/whats_the_creepiest_thing_an_ex_has_done/gotj69k?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">lastsasohysant</a></p>
Do these people think the other person won't figure it out eventually?<p>Seriously. The nerve.</p>
"My most recent ex..."<p>My most recent ex has decided to stalk me, so that's fun.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsukte/whats_the_creepiest_thing_an_ex_has_done/gottggc?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3"></a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsukte/whats_the_creepiest_thing_an_ex_has_done/gottggc?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">HumanResourcesIRL</a></p>
"Not long after her decision..."<p>An ex of mine began referring to herself with my last name as if we were married. This was when I was in undergrad and had absolutely no intentions of tying knots other than my shoelaces.</p><p>Not long after her decision to take my last name, she stopped taking birth control and failed to inform me. I only found out because a mutual friend of ours (more her friend than mine) casually mentioned it to me, as if I had known. I noped the f*** out of that relationship not too long after.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsukte/whats_the_creepiest_thing_an_ex_has_done/gou2k18?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">shaoting</a></p>
In case you haven't figured it out already...<p>...people find this behavior unsettling. It's wrong. No one deserves to feel afraid for breaking up with someone. How would you feel if someone violated your personal space? How would you feel if someone invaded your home and took your things? You wouldn't feel safe, would you?</p><p>Have some stories of your own? Feel free to share them in the comments below.</p>
Babysitters and daycare professionals have access to a unique vantage. As the trusted adults left in the room with a child or children, childcare workers are the ultimate flies on the wall.
And when a childcare worker performs that role for an extended period of time--an entire career in some cases--they become privy to a whole collage of different kids who come from different homes.
Risk-Prone Personality<p>"I used to work at a daycare and this one kid kept trying to stick his finger in the electrical sockets (the sockets were taped off so he couldn't) and would fall from pretty high places and hit his head."</p><p>"I have no clue how he's still alive but I now believe he is immortal."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsvvkp/babysitters_of_reddit_what_screams_well_this_kid/gounhzr?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Wii_wii_baget</a></p>
Warning Signs<p>"I'm not a babysitter, but a relative of mine was for a short period of time. She said this 4 or 5 year old kid would tell her about how he wanted to cut into his pets to 'see how they work.' " </p><p>"The creepy behavior continued, she brought it up to the mother who didn't seem to care. One day she arrived, and the kid brought her a handful of various teeth that weren't human, still bloody."</p><p>"That was the last time she babysat."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsvvkp/babysitters_of_reddit_what_screams_well_this_kid/gotw04x?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">A_Garbage_Account</a></p>
What's Cool for Adults May Be Neglectful for Children.<p>"When I lived in Canada and worked as a nanny, I used to do casual babysitting on the side for a number of local families. One of them, well - the parents were cool people with basically good hearts, but they should never have been parents."</p><p>"Their youngest son had the video of the original Michael Keaton/Jack Nicholson 'Batman' screened at his fourth birthday party, then 'Army of Darkness' at his fifth; the fifth birthday party was attended by the then four year old that I was nanny to, and I had to play dumb and tell my employers that I had no idea why their son was running round the garden with a Super Soaker shouting 'This is my boomstick!' " </p><p>"The parents were also ex-hippies who hauled their son and his two older sisters round in a bus following the Grateful Dead, and they bought their son a 'Can You Find Stoned Waldo' T shirt at one of the shows..."</p><p>"...when the kid wore this shirt to school before he turned six, he was made to take it off and turn it inside out before putting it back on, and when asked if he knew why he'd been told to do this replied, "'Cause there's illegal activity on it, but my dad says it's not illegal if you're sick.' "</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsvvkp/babysitters_of_reddit_what_screams_well_this_kid/goud941?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">mrwednesday33</a></p>
Afraid of Home<p>"I'm a teacher, not a babysitter. But, when kids are afraid to go home or have their parents contacted about anything, there is something going on that raises red flags (and will, possibly, leave the kid fu**ed up for years to come)."</p><p>"I had a student a few years ago who broke down in tears in front of me, begging me not to email his mom. He had cheated on a test and was so scared of his mother finding out that, after the crying, he threw up in the trash can."</p><p>"If you are <em>that</em> scared of your parents, then something is majorly wrong."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsvvkp/babysitters_of_reddit_what_screams_well_this_kid/gouquxk?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Onyx_Owl</a></p>
When It's Time to Take Action<p>"I have a friend who worked in a daycare right out of college."</p><p>"There was a baby who came in everyday dirty and hungry, so when she changed the baby's diaper at the end of the day she would write the date and time on the diaper with a sharpie."</p><p>"That baby came back the next day with the same diaper.... 12 hours later. After a few days of that she called CPS."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsvvkp/babysitters_of_reddit_what_screams_well_this_kid/govd8uc?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Chickiepie</a></p>
Illustrated in Socks<p>"Shi**y parents that doesn't care."</p><p>"I once babysat a little boy, from the time he was 1-3. His mom was busy going on vacation and partying."</p><p>"I remember as he grew he had less and less clothes, because he outgrown the ones he had. I remember he only had 1 pair of socks, because his mom would lose every fu**ing sock."</p><p>"I felt ashamed delivering him to the daycare with two different socks, all the time. It may not seem like a big deal, but look at it from a different POV: if you can't take care of a pair of socks, how are you gonna take care of a baby?"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsvvkp/babysitters_of_reddit_what_screams_well_this_kid/gotj4qy?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">SantaStoleMyCar</a></p>
Sadly, Not a Priority<p>"Honestly, parents who don't care about the kid's education, for whatever reason. Probably, the parent didn't graduate high school in the first place and doesn't place a whole lot of value in education."</p><p>"Many of those kids (source: former teacher) end up working at McDonald's or struggling to find some other work. They don't even get into trades because you have to go to some kind of school for those, and school just isn't something they can 'do.' "</p><p>"This happened with my step-daughter, who is an absolutely wonderful person but her mom never cared how she did in school or even if she went. Hence her trying to make a living now at 25 by working in day cares, which does NOT pay very well."</p><p>"She wants to do other things but they'd all require school and she just says 'I hate school.' "</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsvvkp/babysitters_of_reddit_what_screams_well_this_kid/goto7an?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">DTownForever</a></p>
Nomenclature<p>"Knew a kid whose parents thought it was funny to tell him the wrong names for things. Socks were called turtles. Put your turtles on. Sh** like this."</p><p>"Wondered why he had screaming meltdowns in daycare then kindergarten etc until he was finally able to read by himself. In grade 4. Because spelling turtle s o c k doesn't give you any head starts."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsvvkp/babysitters_of_reddit_what_screams_well_this_kid/gouuned?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">dropthemasq</a></p>
A Very High Bar<p>"Smooth time."</p><p>"I babysat a 6 year old and his parents has a few strange rules, but Smooth Time was by far the worst." </p><p>" first day while walking through the routine, I was told every evening after bath time, I was to cover this kid head to toe in petroleum jelly to 'prevent cracks in his skin"'aka dry skin."</p><p>"It happened every morning as well, but the mom or dad did it then."</p><p>"I really don't think it was anything malicious, the other rules were similarly overly-cautious like the kid had to wear shoes at all times to prevent him hurting his feet, but that kid is gonna have a hard time at his first sleepover."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsvvkp/babysitters_of_reddit_what_screams_well_this_kid/gouw5o8?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Rossthedinoguy</a></p>
Reactive Parenting<p>"Not a babysitter but had a classmate that had parents that knowingly taught him the wrong things to avoid him getting confused and eventually pulled him out of school after only a few years of him being in our school."</p><p>"They said for example that negative numbers don't actually exist, decimal points are just full stops for big numbers and so on and so forth."</p><p>"Parents also gave him waaaaay too much free reign; I live in an area of London that isn't the best for crime, i.e. you shouldn't really be letting children go to school by themselves until at least age 14-15 and if so at least with a few friends."</p><p>"By age 8 his parents allowed him to go to school by himself (he lived about 15 minutes away). He was also extremely clumsy and could be very rude."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsvvkp/babysitters_of_reddit_what_screams_well_this_kid/gotv6ok?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">[deleted]</a></p>
As a married woman, I learn more and more every day what it means to be in a romantic relationship. It is a constant learning experience, and even now, four years into being together, we still are learning more and more about each other.
This isn't just our relationship. In fact, this is a universal trend in all relationships. Most mistakes that we worry are specific to our relationship are actually common to every marriage or partnership. We've all been through it, man!
Disagreements happen. It’s better to face them head-on.<p>Trying too hard to avoid potential arguments to avoid conflict rather than hashing it out before the issue becomes too big to handle.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/noah9389/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Noah9389</a> / <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/backwoodshippy/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Backwoodshippy</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/backwoodshippy/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer"></a>This I believe is the most important. At first, I was afraid to say things sometimes because I was so afraid that she might not see me the same or something. She was doing the same.</p><p>We both learned that love is love no matter what and any disagreements we can talk about and we may feel sad or hurt or upset but we never yell at each other, we simply talk it through and if it's something we both disagree on, we compromise. We have both had our small moody feelings but we always talk things through and so long as we stay true to each other I believe it will last forever.</p><p>I learned that when two people love each other so much, they will work together and be devoted to each other no matter what. And we have a strong relationship that I believe will last forever.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/SanelliGames/" target="_blank">SanelliGames</a></p>
Never ignore your problems!<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTcwNDg3Mi9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYzMzM0NDMyNH0.LRM6guAFJMI1mYLhBlHDydlZi_iLjjkdLpxlwPslXFI/img.gif?width=980" id="b1202" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="8b2e51f3df674b30f824e4f29539d40b" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="480" />GIF by In The Heights MovieGiphy<p>The most common mistakes that couples make are not actively listening to one another, taking their partner for granted, and pushing aside problems because they don't want to cause an argument.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/noah9389/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Noah9389</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/noah9389/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer"></a>Also talk about what's bothering each other.</p><p>You got to work together to solve issues that come up, you can't just ignore them. That's how people end up leaving or cheating.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/similiarintrests/" target="_blank">Similarintrests</a><br></p>
Communication is key!<p>Not being able to communicate. You need to be able to voice when you are hurt without them taking it as an attack. You need to be able to hear your partner.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/sweetsubmarines/" target="_blank">Sweetsubmarines</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/sweetsubmarines/" target="_blank"></a>100% agree. Although I do think it's important to encourage learning how to communicate. Many adults just simply don't know how to do this and I do believe it's a learnable skill.<br></p><p>Should you waste your life with a partner who has no interest in self development and learning to communicate? Probably not. Should you discuss this with your SO who has poor communication skills and create a plan to work together and improve communication? Yes!</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Iwant2go2_there/" target="_blank">Iwant2go2_there</a></p>
Married life in a nutshell.<p>That love is a feeling. You can "fall" in love with someone but it's more of a choice to be deeply connected with this one person. Over time you constantly choose to love them through the good and the bad. If you base your entire relationship on how love is a feeling, you're most likely going to "fall out of love" with them.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/I_Like_To_Hunt_Eggs/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">I_Like_To_Hunt_Eggs</a></p>
DON’T do this.<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTcwNDg3OS9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY2OTE0Mjg1OH0.Z3QjQBNduyjZc816fDmk7IowLwjc4Ms9XfGk3RtBUks/img.gif?width=980" id="02582" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="6e4a6d35608f5552f011b9ab70098cae" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="270" />will ferrell elf GIFGiphy<p>Labeling your partner the source of all your happiness and joy.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/blankblotter/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Blankblotter</a></p><p>100% this. I know the phrase "how can you be happy with someone else if you're not happy alone" has become hated because some people feel like it's saying "people with depression should never be in a relationship" but it's not really about that. As someone who has been put in the position of "someone's entire happiness and joy" it is extremely stressful. Because the flipside ends up being "I'm unhappy - how can my partner fix it??" even if it's not a conscious or intentional thing.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/themoogleknight/" target="_blank">Themoogleknight</a><br></p>
All of this.<p>Getting into a relationship too fast and not getting out of the relationship fast enough (especially prior to marriage).</p><p>When you're not in an official relationship with someone yet, it's pretty easy to walk away if you see problems. But once you're officially in a relationship with someone, you're more invested in them, and you're less likely to walk away when you see problems. So it's important to spend significant time getting to know someone before you start doing things that make you feel more reluctant to walk away (whether that be kissing them, calling them your boyfriend or girlfriend, or whatever), so that you will filter out more of the bad potential partners before they become actual partners and waste more of your time causing you more pain.</p><p>Once you're already in the relationship, it's important to communicate - to express your needs clearly and assess your partner's needs with empathy and care. And if you've expressed your needs clearly but your partner still does not meet them, then it's important to end the relationship. Hanging around hoping something will suddenly change somehow is wasting your time and also wasting your partner's time. It's a kindness to both of you if you just explain that since your needs still have not been met, you're leaving now.</p>
Big mistake.<p>Assuming your partner should know what you want if they love you. I struggled early in our marriage because the women in my wife's family are big on this. We worked on it and it took a bit, but we got to the point where we would only hold each other accountable to expressed words and thoughts. It has made all the difference in the world and 27 years of marriage have been mostly happy. Also, comparisons. Never say "Well my last SO did this" or " My family always did it another way". Good way to alienate a partner.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/TheUnblinkingEye1001/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">TheUnblinkingEye1001</a></p>
It will NEVER be even.<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTcwNDg5Mi9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY2OTA4NTY4NH0.AzWdWl-RiMoylscXTgAhM6sf-zeE8Mft_qcq8IyQCRA/img.gif?width=980" id="b4c0f" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="916a31072aa0e411b328d1d553349b8e" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="400" data-height="400" />Shade Reaction GIF by BounceGiphy<p>Keeping score.</p><p>"I did the dishes three times two weeks ago, you only did them once last week."</p><p>"You got a new video game this month, why didn't I get something?"</p><p>Etc</p><p>It's never going to be completely even, things ebb and flow. Both side should feel like they're getting a fair shake overall but if you keep track of every little thing (even if it's just in your head, I don't necessarily mean like an actual list) it's just going to guarantee that somebody is always "losing". It's not a competition.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/sharrrper/" target="_blank">Sharrper</a></p>
Love’s not a game.<p>Treating dating as a game you're supposed to win instead of playing just for fun of it.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/AnAverageFreak/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">AnAverageFreak</a></p><p>Or even worse, treating any communication as something you're supposed to win, instead of using it to find a solution to a problem.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Zerokx/" target="_blank">Zerokx</a><br></p>
Such good advice.<p>I've always heard "Don't go to bed angry". Don't take that advice. Most times, you're both tired and it's late. Sleep on it and continue the conversation the next day.</p><p>Don't keep score.</p><p>Accept/admit when you've screwed up and move on.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/pop_corn26/" target="_blank">Pop_corn26</a></p>
There are things we accept as inherently bad – like predatory animals or unhealthy foods – because we are socialized to believe they are.