People Explain Which Spots No One Should Use To Hide Their Valuables


Hide it all.... NOT at home!!

Though shall not steal! But for those of us who can't help but betray that rule... we have some pointers for the victims. Everyone thinks they're so creative and smart with the hiding places but... not so much. Don't hide the best of the best at home. Though maybe you want to build a panic room. Perhaps, make holes in walls that look like art? No. If it's going... it's going. Get Insured.

Redditor u/AsleepFondant wanted to ask reformed thieves a few ideas to keep our things close by asking.... Former burglars of reddit, where is one place people should never hide valuables?

Hey kids....


For the college kids that might read this, don't keep your textbooks in your car. On the day of my finals I had about 6 textbooks I was gonna sell after my finals, I left the books in my car while I took my tests. Came back to find someone broke my window out to steal the textbooks. Cop told me that it's very common and unlikely they will catch the guy, so I was out ~$700, which was huge as a college student. zepaperclip

Oh the Leaves! 

This doesn't exactly answer the question asked, but it is a tip on potentially protecting your valuables. Bear with me because it's a bit strange: Glue a spare key (not one that opens something important) under your door mat. Weird right?

A few years ago I did this in addition to installing cameras. Over the last couple of years I've seen this exact scenario play out: thief walks to the door, checks under the mat, unsuccessfully tries to grab the key, backs up, looks around to see if anyone is watching (presumably because they think they have fallen for some trap/prank where they are being surveilled), and LEAVES. They don't even search for another way in because it spooks them. aj9811

50% of the people....

50% of the people on my street are either retired or work from home or have a stay home spouse. Always an old lady watching through her curtains. Its my safest home ever. Prof_G

Am stay-at-home-spouse. Aliens could land on my lawn and I wouldn't notice. Lainey1978

Eye Level. 

I've seen people make false outlets for hiding valuables like cash and jewelry. Just an idea, a burglar would have to be at your home for a long time to start checking outlets. ban_me_daddyy

I think I'd be fooled even if it was at eye level and out of place. Coottol

Call the Dentist.


Someone will be in for a surprise if they open the safe I keep in my night stand. It's full of my kids baby teeth. SaltyMerms

Also side note.....

Also side note, I use to do door to door sales for ADT... people would let me in the house and just tell me where all the important stuff was before even verifying I was legit..... don't do that. Mybigbrowntitties

We had new windows in recently. The blokes that came took out the windows so fast and so quietly, I thought 'shit I hope they're paid enough to never think about doing break ins'. zantwic

Nice Things. 

Obligatory never done it but you'd be surprised at how often people leave their cars unlocked with nice things inside. A lot of people actually leave them unlocked with the keys inside lol, it's how the majority of cars are stolen. Eliminating the easy opportunity is the easiest step and will do a lot to keep your valuables safe. S0ndS0nd

For Grandma....

Lo.... My dad and 2 uncles were once looking after my house for my grandma (they were about 11, 17 and 18) when the heard someone knocking about the garage, so my dad and uncle (18 and 17) went out and found a burglar, and threatened to beat him up if he didn't leave the property. He had his ladder next to the garage to try and get in from the top (idk what he was doing that for), and as he left he asked if he could at least take his ladder with him. To this day my dad still has that ladder 😂😂. KlippetyKop


I had a malamute dog years ago, had another two later, but this was a particularly fluffy one. A friend had heard that it was possible to spin their fur, so I saved enough to knit several jumpers.

Anyway, a burglar took stuff from our garage and this massive box of fur too, must've been quite a surprise. Wolfie_Rankin

Damn Envelopes....


We had our apartments burgled, there were four apartments in the area. Guy kicked down the door, and apparently was in a out pretty quickly.

I came home from work, cop told me, never leave valuables in your nightstand. Might have even said bottom drawer. Sure enough mine were checked, i could tell because my envelopes were moved from where i placed them. chacham2


You May Also Like
Hi friend— subscribe to my mailing list to get inbox updates of news, funnies, and sweepstakes.
—George Takei