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People Who Forgave A Cheating Partner Explain The Reason Why

People Who Forgave A Cheating Partner Explain The Reason Why
StockSnap/Pixabay

People in relationships have, at one point or other, made a huge mistake that jeopardized their future together as a couple.

Some grievances like infidelity are so beyond the pale that it's not worth continuing the relationship based on the ole' "once a cheater, always a cheater" adage.

But depending on the situation, do untrustworthy significant others deserve a second chance?

Strangers online gave their take on the issue when Redditor ChildhoodPersonal225 asked:

"People who forgave their cheating partner, what was the reason you let it go?"

Forgiveness doesn't always lead to a favorable outcome.

Moving On

"I forgave my cheating partner, but it was also the reason we got divorced. You can forgive someone and still not want to be with them anymore."

– thunder2132

Closure

"I forgave her after leaving."

– Any-Comfortable5682

No Regrets

"Me too. I spent a year or two upset about it, because she was in a happy relationship with the guy she cheated with. I spent that time hoping that she would do the same to him, almost certain that she would. Figured the other shoe would drop eventually and I could watch with great satisfaction from afar."

"That day never came. They stayed in love, they got married, they’ve got two daughters now. From everything I’ve heard, they have a wonderful life together. And I’m really glad that they do. What she did hurt at the time, and it was sh**ty, but we were a couple of 21 year olds who thought a three year college relationship was going to last forever. She didn’t deserve to spend her life paying for one time that she harmed me, and I didn’t deserve to waste my days waiting for karma to come back around and ruin her life."

"She got married to him the same day that I moved into an awesome apartment in my local city to live out my 20s in the most fun way possible. In a way, it felt poetic. Because of what she did, she found the person she was meant to be with and I was given the opportunity to seize life in a way I hadn’t before that."

"I wouldn’t change a thing about what happened and I have no doubt that she wouldn’t either."

– TwoForHawat

Forgiving and trusting someone again is a risk many people, who are still in love, take.

Understanding Why

"Because I was trying to understand why it is she made that decision, and I wanted to try and make the marriage work. My mistake."

BleedingTeal

Repeat Offender

"It almost always happens again. Give someone an inch, they take a mile. Next time they'll get better at hiding it."

– Celestial-Adventures

Unhealthy Cycle

"Not me but a friend. He didn’t want to be single again and go through the dating process. So he forgave. She cheated couple of times more and he still forgave. Ended up married. I stopped keeping up with the story because it’s always the same cheating sh*t again."

– realbobbygli

Alone For The Right Reason

"I thought that if I left her then I'd be alone forever."

"3 years after leaving her and that turned out to not be true and I also learned that being single is much better than being in a sh**ty relationship."

– TheNameless00

Things Didn't Compute

"Because I couldn't do math."

"We were dating for two months, but things got serious pretty fast. Met each other's families - this was around the holidays - and were having the talks about where we saw things going. One weekend, I come down with a really bad flu. Couldn't move out of bed, and told her I could not see her, but would be happy to talk on the phone. She tells me, 'hey, if its all the same, do you mind if I pick up another shift at the "piano bar" waitressing and make some money for the night?' I tell her, sure, I'd rather rest and try to kick this bug, go for it."

"Three months later, we're sitting on my couch and she seems distant. She tells me we need to talk, starts crying and tells me she thinks she has an STD. She tells me the night she picked up that extra shift at the bar, she stayed until closing and fucked her married boss in his car. But - and here's the kicker - she tells me, 'you and I had only been on a couple of dates up to that point and weren't exclusive,' so it wasn't like she was cheating on me, in her mind. For some reason, I couldn't put the math together to figure out which weekend it was that she took that extra shift, so I dismissed it. It wasn't until months later that the math hit me like an epiphany and, by that time, we had developed so much more as a couple that I figured it was a one-off indiscretion. (PS: She didn't have an STD, she had a yeast infection.)"

"In the end, I called things off. She was a pretty terrible person in the end, and may have cheated on me at least two more times by the time things were over. I wasted three and a half years of my life with her, but I never married her or had kids with her, which would have been way worse."

MikeT75

The Fear Of Nothing Being Better Than The Alternative

"I was pregnant with my second child and terrified of doing it alone. I didn't think I was capable. I was also beaten down enough to feel like I'd never have anything better. Thankfully I wised up, it's been years now and I'm still single and may be that way for the rest of my days but it doesn't scare me like it did. I'm happy and that's all that really matters."

– Ambitious_Beat3549

Some people are suckers for emotional breakdowns.

Emotionally Influence

"I'm a sucker for crying. One year into our relationship she confessed in tears that she cheated on me two weeks into our relationship by having sex with her ex. I forgave her and was proud of her for being honest. Two months prior to our wedding and I find out she's been screwing her boss."

– gil_beard

Guilt-Ridden Husband

"My wife's first husband slept with a sex worker on a business trip to South Korea. He used to travel there several times a year, and it became a running joke with his co-workers that he never took part in the company-provided hook ups. So, he finally gave in on one trip, and felt utterly horrible about it."

"A lot of factors went into her forgiving him over this: He'd only been with my wife (since he was 17 an she was 15,) sexually, he felt absolutely horrible about it. What's amusing is that their two kids were very young, like 10 and 6, and my wife had a feeling that something was going on and had arranged for the kids to sing a little 'YAY! DAD'S HOME!' skit when he walked in the door..."

"They divorced about 10 years later for other reasons."

– dramboxf

Here's the thing about cheating.

Thrill Of Getting Away With It

"It is like an addiction issue. Junkies are junkies. The poison doesn't make a difference in behavior."

"Cheaters literally seek out all the time the thrill of flirting, secrecy, and yes, having power over someone else, knowing and doing something wrong and getting away with it."

"That is why most cheating couples just fizzle out when they get together after the original SO drops out. Having the poor sap / sappess getting duped is what kept them entertained, not the humping."

"Cheating doesn't just 'happen', people make it happen actively. That is why only rarely -if ever- a change actually occurs, because change doesn't happen unless the person wills it."

– gordito_delgado

Accidentally On Purpose

"My favorite is when people say 'it was an accident.'"

"You accidentally sent hundreds of texts, drove to their house, spent money on them and bounced up and down on them a few hundred times?"

"Yeah, sending a mixed signal is an accident not getting down with the whole act."

– musicalrssnroulette

It's Mind-Boggling

"It's still hard to wrap my head around how some people can be so emotionally unaware of what their actions do to others."

– MumrikDK

People deserve a second chance.

But based on the comments above, how do you know if the person you're trusting after they broke your heart aren't prone to making the same mistake again?

As they say, "fool me once..."

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People Reveal The Pettiest Reason They Ever Refused To Date Somebody

Reddit user bigdawgcat asked: 'What is the pettiest reason why you wouldn’t date somebody?'

Anyone who has gone on a few dates knows a few things that they like and don't like to see in a relationship, and they definitely know what some of their dealbreakers are.

But there are some dealbreakers that, when looked at from the outside, are totally petty in nature.

Redditor bigdawgcat asked:

"What is the pettiest reason why you wouldn't date somebody?"

Food Allergies

"I have a friend who stopped dating someone because he found out they were lactose intolerant."

"His example of why was, what if I taste a really great dessert, and I want to share the experience with her, and she can’t even taste it."

- Horknut1

"I know someone who is allergic to alliums (garlic, onions, etc.). I could never date this person as there is no meal I could make which doesn't include them in some amount."

- Fixes_Computers

"Same with peanut allergies. I love peanut butter too much to start a relationship with someone who couldn't be in the same room with it, not when there are plenty of other wonderful people who can. If the allergy suddenly developed long into the relationship, that would be a different case."

- cottagecheeseobesity

The Ups and Downs of Physical Fitness

"A college friend of mine was dating a girl who was amazing, smart, and funny, and she had put on a few extra pounds recently, which bothered him (don’t shoot the messenger)."

"We were driving at night down a big hill on a hot summer night and saw a young woman running up the hill toward us, really sweating, face purple, and looking pretty haggard, huffing and puffing."

"He made a comment like, 'Holy s**t, this girl is struggling.' We got closer and realized it was her."

"Long awkward pause. 'Well, I’m going to have to break up with her,' he said."

"Fast forward six months, and we ran into her at a pub, and she was in absolutely perfect shape."

"When he tried to make a move, she told him aloud, in front of a table full of her friends, 'That she wasn’t interested in him, and that he had dumped her for getting fat.' Top five funniest takedowns I’ve ever seen."

"Fast forward 10 years, he’s been divorced twice and has had a long list of s**tty relationships. The end."

- Much_Progress_4745

Conspiracy Theory Investment

"If they’re into conspiracy theories. I dated a guy who was and it consumed his life. It’s all he talked about."

"I couldn’t even watch a movie with him because he would talk through the whole thing about how it relates to certain conspiracy theories…"

"I also could never enjoy my food. We would make a big dinner on Friday nights to start the weekend, we both had a long day at work... we’d sit down to finally eat and he’d pull out his phone and put on conspiracy videos, and he’d make me watch them sooo loudly while I ate. And he’d talk through all of them too."

"I could never tell him that I wasn’t interested or I just wanted to eat because he’d get mad. It ruined my whole meal... I think most people like to eat in peace.. also he’d spend hundreds of items he needed in case we ever got attacked by 'skin walkers'... Never again."

- Low-Sky-4812

Eating Noises

"They slurp when they drink or smack when they eat."

- just-say-it-

"Soup should be seen and not heard."

- Playful-Profession-2

Same Names, Same Problems

"I will never date or f**k another Anthony ever again. I’ve dated or had a relationship with three different Anthonys at three different ages and they all turned out badly."

- SylphofBlood

"I had a friend years back that had three bad boyfriends, one after the other, each more of a D-bag than the last. Each one was named Rob."

"When talking to her one night, having a few beers, she complained that she always attracts d**kheads and then she asked what she should do. So having had a drink or six, I just blurted out, 'Maybe don't date anymore Robs.'"

"Anyway, the next guy she dated was Steve... they got married."

- vejbok

Love for Animals

"My cat said hello to her and she didn't say hi back."

- StephenHawkings_Legs

"I had a one-night stand kick my cat off of the bed. First, never ever have I kicked a cat. But I did kick that guy out of my house and my life. Instantly. GET THE F**K OUT. NOW."

- e11spark

"Not petty. If someone ignored my dog greeting them, I would be put off, too."

- A-Yandere-Succubus

Unexpected Sleeping Arrangements

"He slept in those tiny no-show socks. Let me be clear, he didn't wear them any other time than when he went to bed."

"There were some other, more real, red flags, but when I saw him whip them out and put them on the second time we slept together, I legitimately thought to myself: 'Actually, I don't think I can fix this one.'"

- Potential-Plastic-66

Matching Clothes

"He wore the same shirt on both of our dates.

Get this, years later, I get into the elevator at work and he's there. IN THE SAME SHIRT."

"I wanted so badly to demand to know if he has multiples or just one! Or find out which department he was in and stalk him. Unfortunately, I had given in my two weeks and didn't work in that building often."

- SunflowerSeed33

Different Interests

"If a woman has a horse in her dating profile, you will never be more important than that horse."

"(It may be petty, but it's backed up by personal experience)."

- No-Hat-689

"Horse girls do really love their horses, so I believe you. And I can't blame you."

- dumpster_cherries

"Worst of all, if you break up with the girl you won't be able to see the horse again! Imagine how heartbreaking that would be."

- one-eye-fox

Social Media Schemes

If they have emojis like their signs, or money signs, or airplanes, or some s**t like that in their bio. Just seems like some scammer or Ponzi scheme s**t."

- UrinePulp

Weakness?

"Wasn't me, but a female friend broke up with a guy because 'his allergies were a sign of weakness.'"

"Yeah, I responded the same way you did."

- Street-Comb1000

"My brother believes this about my allergies. He thinks I 'shoulda grown out of it by now.' Infuriating."

- I_Stan_Kyrgyzstan

Finals Week Troubles

​"Because her eye was twitching while we were talking to each other. I was a dumb freshman in college. This girl was super attractive and smart, and we got along great."

"For some unfathomable reason, this made me want to not talk to her again."

"Later it dawned on me that it was during finals and she was heavily caffeinated and that can be a side effect. She dodged a bullet because I was a complete dingleberry, lol (laughing out loud)."

- Atlas88-

Deal-breaking Voices

"I briefly dated a young woman who was insanely out of my league. People stared when we went out."

"Anyway, her voice was like Minnie Mouse, and I just couldn't take it. I still feel bad about that one."

- Pickleliver

Dental Preferences

​"Not me, but I had a friend who wouldn’t date this guy because he had one crooked tooth. He was the nicest guy truly a wonderful person. Like if I hadn’t been in a serious relationship I would’ve dated this guy."

"Fast forward, he meets a wonderful woman, and they get married, and my friend was all weird about it."

"I asked why and she said, 'Well, I thought he liked me enough to get his twisted tooth fixed.'"

"It was the silliest thing I’ve ever heard."

- Foxy_locksy1704

Preferred Facial Features

"I knew and almost dated a girl who talked out the side of her mouth. I’m not sure if that’s the best way to describe it, but that’s all I thought about when she spoke."

"Like, the front of her lips barely moved, and it was like a weird little smirk kinda thing when she spoke. I couldn’t get past it."

- newadventures96

"Weird ick: people with big/wide mouths. Why can I see all of your teeth and the back of your throat while you’re talking? You don’t need to open it that much just because you can."

- burritoboles

When one Redditor wanted to hear others' "petty" reasons for not wanting to date someone, their fellow Redditors really delivered. While some of these could simply be a matter of taste, like finding some facial features attractive where others do not, some of these, like allergies, are pretty, pretty petty.

Generally speaking, we watch movies to escape our current realities and be transported to other worlds.

As a result, we don't always walk into movie theaters hoping for a truly authentic or genuine experience.

After all, how many people in real life actually met the love of their life at the top of the Empire State Building on Valentine's Day, after hearing them on the radio?

When it comes to historical fiction and dramas, however, some might say the facts and historical accuracy are a bit more important.

Indeed, part of the ongoing grudge over Shakespeare In Love's surprise Oscar victory over Saving Private Ryan was the latter was applauded for its accuracy, while the victor was anything but.

However, what probably helped in Shakespeare In Love's upset despite its many historical inaccuracies was that when push came to shove, it was a very good movie.

Redditor Agreeable-Beach-3009 was curious to hear what other films people thought were so good, that their anachronisms and inaccuracies should be overlooked, leading them to ask:

"What's a historically inaccurate movie that gets a pass because of how good it is?"

You Mean, Rasputin WASN'T A Demonic Sorcerer?

"'Anastasia'."

"Can you imagine getting murdered, then a movie gets made implying the woman who claimed your identity was the real deal and had to fight a freaky wizard's curse, and there were two knockoff movies made in the same year?"

"Songs were boppin tho."- vworpstageleft

"CRETACEOUS Park" Just Doesn't Have The Same Ring To It...

"Most of the dinosaurs you see in 'Jurassic Park' are actually from the Cretaceous Period."- 3loodwolf117

First Hand Accounts Were Probably A Bit Hard To Come By...

"Gladiator."- chewie8291

"Almost nothing about the movie 'Gladiator' is historically accurate, but it doesn't matter."

"S tier historical drama."- Pixelated_Penguin808

Russell Crowe Gladiator GIF by MOODMANGiphy

Those Costumes Though!

"Amadeus."- Sgtp3ppers

"I feel like 'Amadeus' gets a pass because it's an adaptation of a stage play and as an adaptation, it's not trying to be historically accurate but to instead tell a great story, which it does phenomenally."- LadicusRex

Making His Lies Even More Far Fetched...

"Catch Me If You Can."- Bender_Wiggin

"While it all being bullsh*t does take some of the magic out of it, it’s still an entertaining story."

"And the soundtrack absolutely slaps."- rnilbog

It's Safe To Assume The Spanish Inquisition Had A Lot Less Singing And Dancing...

"History of the world part I."- whopper68

"Rome didn't have bullsh*t artists collecting unemployment?"

"Did Mel Brooks lie to me?"- CrunchyDonut42

Giphy

Good Delivery Can Disguise Almost Anything...

"Tombstone."

"But I really do love it."- Iwouldntifiwereme

"Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life"

"The Life of Brian."- Visible_Claim_388

"'He’s not the messiah he’s just a naughty boy'."- dcrico20

For One Thing, Dogs Can't Talk...

"Balto?"- rmr236

"I love how the premise is that the little girl is telling the story as an old woman, but she was unconscious the whole time."

"She’s definitely pulling that shi* out of her a**."- TheFufe10

sad shame GIFGiphy

There Is, Indeed, A Sucker Born Every Minute. Including Many Who Thought This Movie Told The Truth...

"'The Greatest Showman' makes PT Barnum look like a better person than he was in real life."- viridianvenus

He Was A Man Of Many Talents... This Wasn't One Of Them...

"Abraham Lincoln Vampire Slayer."- nogoat23

"That movie crosses the absurd into awesome, and I love it."- FactoryOfBradness

Stretching It...

"A Knights Tale."- SoCalRc

"I always wondered how Queen never admitted to stealing such a banger from hundreds of years ago."- londoner4life

heath ledger love GIFGiphy

Some Of The Irish Accents Were Less Than Authentic As Well...

"'Gangs of New York'."

"Historically accurate setting, costumes and some characters/gangs, but the plot and the events supporting it are largely fictional."

"Damn good movie though."- Lieutenant_Skittles

Tom Cruise Swinging A Sword Is More Than Enough For Some People...

"The Last Samurai."- The Last Samurai

"I was surprised at how good this movie was when I saw it this year for the first time."

"The costumes, action, and acting were all quite good."- OutlawQuill

More Memorable Than The Truth?

"The 1970 production 'Tora, Tora, Tora' pulled off one of the great cons of modern cinematography."

"It convinced an entire generation of Americans that after the sneak attack on Pearl Harbor, the Japanese Admiral Yamamoto had said 'I fear that all we have done is awaken a sleeping giant and fill him with a terrible resolve'."

"There is no evidence that the quote was ever spoken by Yamamoto."

"But it was so perfect and convincing that subsequent Hollywood movies released in 2001 (Pearl Harbor) and 2019 (Midway) unquestioningly passed it off as legitimate."- InstrumentRated

Movies are, first and foremost, a source of entertainment.

As a result, most viewers pay no mind at all to all the complaints historians and scholars may have about them.

If you're looking for speedy answers for a history test or essay, it's best to stick to the textbooks and not rely on Spielberg or Scorcese.


Legs of a Military recruit next to their personal belongings and American flag
Benjamin Faust/Unsplash

Mischievous military recruits in the process of basic training may not always be seriously punished unless they commit a serious crime like stealing.

Instructors punish those in training with an assortment of disciplinary tactics, which can include yelling and "getting dropped"–or being ordered to do push-ups.

Some instructors, however, like to get creative.

Curious to hear about some unique forms of military punishment, Redditor Defiant_Concert_9542t_9542 asked:

"What's the most hilarious punishment you've ever heard of someone receiving in the military, and how did they end up in that absurd situation?"

These recruits were made to be the laughing stock.

"Forgetting The Hat"

"A couple of guys hated wearing their cover (hat), so they kept 'forgetting' to put it on when going outside."

"Sgt made them each 'wear' the other guy's hand as cover for a few days. They looked so ridiculous/miserable walking around holding another man's bald head."

– Scaphismus

Bad Hat

"Had a guy forget to put on his hat when coming outside during basic training. Instructor told him that it wasn't his fault but that it was the hats fault. He made the guy spank the hat and yell 'Bad Hat' over and over. After that he said even though the hat was bad he still needed to let the hat know that he loved him. He then made him caress the hat and tell him that he loves him."

– Kmo78

Importance Of Being On Time

"So this guy was constantly late to everything. Never out of bed on time, never in formation when he was supposed to be, etc."

"The Sargents pulled a clock off the wall, attached a bike chain to it, and make it look like a big a** necklace. (If you were a rap fan back in the day you may know where this is going)"

"They made the dude wear it like a Flava Flav clock chain. They would constantly scream at him 'Flava Flav what time is it?!?'"

"He learned to be on time real quick."

– LeluWater

Things get more creative.

Perfect For The Gullible

"We would tell every new person in our squadron that they had to set up an appointment with 'Captain Dees.' We'd give the person the local number of the Captain D's restaurant. They'd call the number and ask to speak with Captain Dees. It was hilarious every time."

– Kmo78

Ladybug Story

"I once had a ladybug land on my desk during morning inspection. When staff found it. I had to write a 500 word biography of who the bug was etc. and then had to make sure he was there for the rest of the week in good health for every morning inspection that week. Lol"

– withoutwarningwood

How Touching

"Newly promoted to Sergeant me and my buddy got the task of pre barracks inspection prior to our new CSM barracks inspection which was to be after our 1SG barracks inspection. Ya... anyway, the new CSM wanted troops to actually have their rooms decorated and lived in looking which whatever right? So everything is going fine we're still in good with the E4 Mafia so we're given heads up on whose rooms actually need inspected and which we could just skip cause they were squared away. Last room of the evening and it's bare as a prison cell. Troop was using his woobie (poncho liner) as a blanket, no pillows and literally nothing in this room that wasn't issued not a thing in his fridge etc. Come to find out he has been sending all like seriously ALL his money home to his mom to help raise his 4 siblings. Me and the other Sergeant ordered him to come with us to the PX, we got on the horn to our 1SG explained the situation and he met us at the PX with our entire upper NCO chain and the Commander. We forced this kid to buy over 1000 dollars of items/food/tv/etc for his room and all the money was donated by the NCO chain and the Commander. That was a great leadership was very sad to leave that unit. Sorry long winded lol"

– geriatric-sanatore

Free Concert

"We had a guy who could just not get his sh*t together. We all know that troop. Even the easy things were hard, etc etc."

"The cadre found out he was a former opera singer and also fluent in German. So they made him write and sing opera songs about his f**k ups. This was the only thing he was good at."

"Now here’s where this gets hilarious, beyond one dude singing self-deprecating songs in a marching formation. The cadre would bark 'German style!' and he’d seamlessly switch his lyrics to German. They’d yell 'underwater style!' and he’d take his index finger and flip it up and down on his lips as he sang, making the song sound bubbly."

"Not only could the cadre not hold it together, the guys in his company would absolutely lose it. Complete breakdown in military bearing, and no one cared. Other cadre and instructors would come just to listen and they would be in tears laughing."

"I don’t know where you are now homeboy, but thanks for the laughs."

– vmikey

Environmentally Conscious

"Having to carry a plant to make up for the oxygen he was wasting."

– International_Set522

"I remember one of the others on my intake being sent over to the nearest tree to deeply apologise for wasting the good oxygen this tree produced and explain to said tree why he was such an utter t*t...."

– The_Burning_Wizard

Lesson to be learned: don't lose or forget things that are essential.

What's The Big ID-a?

"Guy kept losing his ID/leaving it sitting in the computer. Chief 'borrowed' it, took it to one of those one hour print job places, had it blown up to like 3 feet across, cut the picture out, and made the idiot walk around all day holding his enormous ID up with his face in the cut out hole. He stopped misplacing his ID after that."

– HakunaYouTaTas

Don't Lose The Rock

"We had a tradition when you were new to the unit and went on our first summer exercise (National Guard) that you would need to carry a rock around with you. It was an inspectable item so it needed to be with you at all times. You were not to let anyone else have this rock. The trick was if you lost the rock, you'd get another rock chosen by the platoon sergeant."

"One guy had a hard time with the 'Don't give this to anyone else' and kept losing his rock. After the 4th or 5th time, the platoon sergeant gave him what I can only describe as a small Boulder. This kid had to lug that rock around for the next week but he made damn sure not to lose it."

– Lawson470189

The Long Road March

"1995 - At mile 4 of an 12 mile hump (quick water break), my assistant gunner forgot the tripod for the M60. The platoon sergeant made him hug and apologize to every tree along his side of the road for wasting oxygen for the rest of the road march. 8 miles of this and no one could go past him. A road march that should've taken three hours ended up taking 12. There's a lot of trees at Ft. Campbell"

– MrL1970

The road from being a recruit to soldier is a tough but rewarding one in the end.

While some of the punishments and actual training tactics seem insurmountable, they build character, better physical endurance, and resilience.

It may be grueling, but it's all part of the military world.

Are you up for the challenge?

It feels like everything under the sun is expensive these days.

So maybe when we look at price tags, we're just having a little financial PTSD.

Some items and services that were once doable have turned into a years-long savings plan.

Like where do the cable and internet people get these price points?

Especially for their "services."

Please.

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