People in relationships have, at one point or other, made a huge mistake that jeopardized their future together as a couple.
Some grievances like infidelity are so beyond the pale that it's not worth continuing the relationship based on the ole' "once a cheater, always a cheater" adage.
But depending on the situation, do untrustworthy significant others deserve a second chance?
Strangers online gave their take on the issue when Redditor ChildhoodPersonal225 asked:
"People who forgave their cheating partner, what was the reason you let it go?"
Forgiveness doesn't always lead to a favorable outcome.
"I forgave my cheating partner, but it was also the reason we got divorced. You can forgive someone and still not want to be with them anymore."
"I forgave her after leaving."
"Me too. I spent a year or two upset about it, because she was in a happy relationship with the guy she cheated with. I spent that time hoping that she would do the same to him, almost certain that she would. Figured the other shoe would drop eventually and I could watch with great satisfaction from afar."
"That day never came. They stayed in love, they got married, they’ve got two daughters now. From everything I’ve heard, they have a wonderful life together. And I’m really glad that they do. What she did hurt at the time, and it was sh**ty, but we were a couple of 21 year olds who thought a three year college relationship was going to last forever. She didn’t deserve to spend her life paying for one time that she harmed me, and I didn’t deserve to waste my days waiting for karma to come back around and ruin her life."
"She got married to him the same day that I moved into an awesome apartment in my local city to live out my 20s in the most fun way possible. In a way, it felt poetic. Because of what she did, she found the person she was meant to be with and I was given the opportunity to seize life in a way I hadn’t before that."
"I wouldn’t change a thing about what happened and I have no doubt that she wouldn’t either."
Forgiving and trusting someone again is a risk many people, who are still in love, take.
"Because I was trying to understand why it is she made that decision, and I wanted to try and make the marriage work. My mistake."
"It almost always happens again. Give someone an inch, they take a mile. Next time they'll get better at hiding it."
"Not me but a friend. He didn’t want to be single again and go through the dating process. So he forgave. She cheated couple of times more and he still forgave. Ended up married. I stopped keeping up with the story because it’s always the same cheating sh*t again."
Alone For The Right Reason
"I thought that if I left her then I'd be alone forever."
"3 years after leaving her and that turned out to not be true and I also learned that being single is much better than being in a sh**ty relationship."
Things Didn't Compute
"Because I couldn't do math."
"We were dating for two months, but things got serious pretty fast. Met each other's families - this was around the holidays - and were having the talks about where we saw things going. One weekend, I come down with a really bad flu. Couldn't move out of bed, and told her I could not see her, but would be happy to talk on the phone. She tells me, 'hey, if its all the same, do you mind if I pick up another shift at the "piano bar" waitressing and make some money for the night?' I tell her, sure, I'd rather rest and try to kick this bug, go for it."
"Three months later, we're sitting on my couch and she seems distant. She tells me we need to talk, starts crying and tells me she thinks she has an STD. She tells me the night she picked up that extra shift at the bar, she stayed until closing and fucked her married boss in his car. But - and here's the kicker - she tells me, 'you and I had only been on a couple of dates up to that point and weren't exclusive,' so it wasn't like she was cheating on me, in her mind. For some reason, I couldn't put the math together to figure out which weekend it was that she took that extra shift, so I dismissed it. It wasn't until months later that the math hit me like an epiphany and, by that time, we had developed so much more as a couple that I figured it was a one-off indiscretion. (PS: She didn't have an STD, she had a yeast infection.)"
"In the end, I called things off. She was a pretty terrible person in the end, and may have cheated on me at least two more times by the time things were over. I wasted three and a half years of my life with her, but I never married her or had kids with her, which would have been way worse."
The Fear Of Nothing Being Better Than The Alternative
"I was pregnant with my second child and terrified of doing it alone. I didn't think I was capable. I was also beaten down enough to feel like I'd never have anything better. Thankfully I wised up, it's been years now and I'm still single and may be that way for the rest of my days but it doesn't scare me like it did. I'm happy and that's all that really matters."
Some people are suckers for emotional breakdowns.
"I'm a sucker for crying. One year into our relationship she confessed in tears that she cheated on me two weeks into our relationship by having sex with her ex. I forgave her and was proud of her for being honest. Two months prior to our wedding and I find out she's been screwing her boss."
"My wife's first husband slept with a sex worker on a business trip to South Korea. He used to travel there several times a year, and it became a running joke with his co-workers that he never took part in the company-provided hook ups. So, he finally gave in on one trip, and felt utterly horrible about it."
"A lot of factors went into her forgiving him over this: He'd only been with my wife (since he was 17 an she was 15,) sexually, he felt absolutely horrible about it. What's amusing is that their two kids were very young, like 10 and 6, and my wife had a feeling that something was going on and had arranged for the kids to sing a little 'YAY! DAD'S HOME!' skit when he walked in the door..."
"They divorced about 10 years later for other reasons."
Here's the thing about cheating.
Thrill Of Getting Away With It
"It is like an addiction issue. Junkies are junkies. The poison doesn't make a difference in behavior."
"Cheaters literally seek out all the time the thrill of flirting, secrecy, and yes, having power over someone else, knowing and doing something wrong and getting away with it."
"That is why most cheating couples just fizzle out when they get together after the original SO drops out. Having the poor sap / sappess getting duped is what kept them entertained, not the humping."
"Cheating doesn't just 'happen', people make it happen actively. That is why only rarely -if ever- a change actually occurs, because change doesn't happen unless the person wills it."
Accidentally On Purpose
"My favorite is when people say 'it was an accident.'"
"You accidentally sent hundreds of texts, drove to their house, spent money on them and bounced up and down on them a few hundred times?"
"Yeah, sending a mixed signal is an accident not getting down with the whole act."
"It's still hard to wrap my head around how some people can be so emotionally unaware of what their actions do to others."
People deserve a second chance.
But based on the comments above, how do you know if the person you're trusting after they broke your heart aren't prone to making the same mistake again?
As they say, "fool me once..."
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The Mandela effect is when multiple people share the same, incorrect memory.
Its name stems from when paranormal researcher Fiona Broome falsely believed that the future president of South Africa, Nelson Mandela, died in prison in the 1980s.
A false memory she shared with a number of others.
Our memories have been known to deceive us, as we might frequently forget someone's name or one of our numerous online passwords.
But when we share a memory that turns out to be false with many others, convincing ourselves it wasn't the truth can be a very difficult ordeal indeed.
Redditor Mysterious_Boat_1701 was curious to hear people's most unsettling experiences with the Mandela Effect, leading them to ask:
"Which Mandela effect freaks you out the most and why?"
A mysterious gym
"Just had one personally."
"Went to a mall where there was supposedly a gym, asked around and nobody that worked at the mall knew what I was talking about."
"Looked around and couldn't find it."
"Come back a few months later and it’s right there in front of my face, you'd have to be strung out to not notice it."
"idk how or when it just appeared but it freaked me out."- prex320278
A "fruit"ful logo.
"That the fruit of the loom logo never had a cornucopia."
"What’s crazy about that one is that someone emailed the creator of the logo about it and he said even he remembers it having one."- mrcock2·
Less well intentioned than they thought.
"I Mandela effected my whole family once."
"Years ago there was a football player on a rival team that always did a dumb celebration after he got a sack and my family and I always hated it."
"One night after he did it my family started trashing the celebration and I said as a joke 'we are all going to feel terrible when we find out he is doing that celebration as a request from a make-a-wish kid'."
"Fast forward to years later and our team is playing that team again."
"The player got a sack and did the celebration."
"I rolled my eyes and said 'I hate that celebration so much' my mom instantly turned and said 'don't say that, he is doing it for a sick kid'."
"'I actually like it."
"So I was like 'what?'"
"'No there is no sick kid', my whole family then proceeded to argue with me'."
"They all vividly remembered reading articles about it, seeing special report segments before games about it, and other information."
"Some of them even thought they knew the disease the kid had and even extra details about why the kid chose that specific celebration."
"They all had these shared memories that they were sure were true."
"I was floored by all this and insisted none of that was true."
"So we looked it up.'
'No kid like that ever existed.'
"They still have trouble wrapping their heads around this one."
"Turned out human memory is not near as reliable as we think"
"It was American Football and the player was Jared Allen of the Minnesota Vikings and his cattle roping sack celebration."
"This was maybe 10 years ago."- AUSpartan37College Football Win GIF by Michigan State FootballGiphy
His eyesight was better than we thought.
"Mr. Monopoly's monocle."- Additional_Day9903
It's not easy being green.
"I have a personal one that to this day a decade later still destroys my mind."
"I had an old(ish) 2001 dodge neon."
"With BLACK SEATS.'
"I drove this car for years and years, like 80,000 miles.'
'All through college."
"I took work breaks in my car, commuted hours every day total, to college and then the opposite direction to work and back."
"I even lived out of this thing on several occasions.'
'The day I go and trade it in, I'm pulling misc things out of the car at the dealer."
'And the seats are GREEN."
"Not even a little."
'Like very unmistakably GREEN."
"In my black Neon, with black interior, that ALWAYS HAD BLACK SEATS."
"My girlfriend then, wife now, goes oh they've always been green."
"EXCEPT THEY F*CKING WEREN'T DON'T LIE TO ME."
"This is still upsetting to this day..... life is a lie and nothing is real."- ZakuLegionWinona Ryder Omg GIFGiphy
An urban legend was born.
"Not a global one, just a family thing."
"Back in 2002 my grandma had her 60th birthday, my father took us home at 10.00pm, ready for bed."
"We, me and brother, were 12 and 14 at this time."
'All went well."
"Over the years, a story was made up that we went missing after visiting the local playground after dinner at said grandma's birthday party."
"Some neighbors help to search us, the whole train of 'missing children in a smal village'-thing."
"Fun fact: we never went missing."
"Dad brought us home, put on 'Toy Story' on tv and left."
"My brother and I heard first about this in 2015.'
"From different people on different occasions."
"'Ah your one of the missing boys'."
"I first thought they were mocking me for a different event.'
"I got lost, but it was 2013, alcohol inflicted, different story."
"But then they ALL tell us the same story about us going missing."
'And the stories are damn close to 'true' in every story my mum is driving around the same neighbors to different locations to search, old wine yard, old mill etc."
"Sometimes I think I got lost on the most brutal way."
"I was lost and changed this plane of existence with another one."
"It sometimes made me think about my whole life."- tjorben123missing kenny mccormick GIF by South Park Giphy
Memories are a fascinating thing.
They can be changed or altered with even the tiniest suggestion.
And making the truth seem less believable than lies.
One last time. One last meal.
How do you chose a last meal?
Let's hope we never have to find out.
People on death row get that option.
Do they deserve it?
Whose to say?
But they have it.
A steak. A pizza... Burger King.
The food world is their oyster.
Oyster. Also an option.
The menu is endless...
Redditor No-Caterpillar4212 wanted to know what our menu choices would be if we faced the end. They asked:
"You're on a death row, you have one hour left, they ask for your final meal - what is it?"
I'd want 2 hours in a Golden Coral with a bar. Covers it all.
Masailor moon cooking GIFGiphy
"Everything my mom has ever made."
"I want a nice filet mignon, medium rare, a baked potato with everything on it, and a nice Cabernet from a good year - I'm thinking 2135."
"'Sorry, we couldn't get the Cabernet from 2135. So instead of what could have been a great wine request from a more plausible period of time, you get this crappy stuff we sourced from Wal-Mart. Enjoy your meal, I hope that maintaining your sense of humor was worth it."'
"Something badly cooked so I will be sick and want to die sooner and have diarrhea so bad it will be a last revenge!"
"Taco bell it is!"
"If Taco Bell makes you poop a lot, it's a sign that you probably need more fiber in your diet."
The Yuck Factor
"A huge bowl of baked beans, a bowl of shredded wheat, a six egg omelette, and a gallon of apple cider. I'm gonna make it awful for everyone."
"Save yourself the hassle of eating all that, just ask for one pack of sugar free Haribo gummy bears. Should make for an interesting time for the folks watching you die."
"You void your bowels when you die too so that should be lovely."
PerfectFried Chicken Scandal GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy
"Fried chicken with some Fanta."
Fried chicken is on the top of everyone's list!
DetailsInterested GIF by Nick CannonGiphy
"150mg of MDMA. I’m dying happy."
"This should absolutely be allowed. If our leaders insist on the practice of capital punishment then the condemned should be able to ingest any substance they damn please."
"McFlurry. Those machine are always broken. I just bought myself some time."
"Is this like an American thing? I worked at a McDonald's in Denmark once and our machine was never once broken when i was there."
"I saw a video about this once. I'm a little fuzzy on the details but I think it has something to do with the contract that was signed in America. Only one company is allowed to do maintenance on the machines and they basically lock out if it's cleaned incorrectly. It's a crap system."
"Cabbage!! Add some cabbage. I don’t know if an hour if enough to take effect but there was an old coworker on a cabbage diet. Omg she smelled, like it was coming out of her pores. She knew she smelled and kept apologizing and reminding us of the diet."
The OG Always
"Olive Garden. Unlimited soup and breadsticks."
"I saw a sketch once, can't remember who it 2qs from. But a an inmate ordered the all you can eat buffet and had been eating for like 8 years. He's constantly on the toilet and takes micro-naps between bites."
"Unlimited for 1 hour. Cool."
How GoldenGolden Girls Dorothy GIF by HULUGiphy
"If my grandma is still alive her potato soup and cheesecake. Hopefully I'd be able to cook said meal with her one last time."
Let's hope none of us has to make this decision.
Most people have friends they've been close to for most of their lives.
But at the same time, friends evolve, and everyone finds themselves losing touch with any number of people they at one point considered their friends over time.
Most of the time, this isn't intentional, but just simply happens.
On rare occasions though, people might realize that their friends were not exactly who they thought they were, and didn't like who they revealed themselves to be.
Redditor One-Refrigerator69 was curious to hear stories of people who realized their friends were not exactly the nicest people to be around, leading them to ask:
"When was the moment you realized that your friends are assholes?"
Compared to others...
"When I started hanging out with better people."- Darklink326
All it took was getting my life together
"When I quit drinking ‘cos it was killing me."
"There were people I literally saw every single day who just disappeared as if by magic."
"12 years ago this week, as it happens."
"I’m not anti-drink, far from it."
"Some people, me included, just can’t enjoy it without it becoming a problem."
"Everyone is different."- bigdaftgeordie
A little perspective goes a long way.
"After I realized that other people don't sh*t on each other on every possible occasion in their circle."
"And that it isn't right when a 'friend' uses every known insecurity as an argument against you when you do not behave the way he/she would want you to."- ViscousPlatemanThe Simpsons GIF by MOODMANGiphy
Lack of respect for other people's things
"I let my friend borrow my ps2 when I went to boot camp."
"When I came back, he said he sold it and gave me $50 I think?"
"This was in 2006."- madmike-86
Lack of mutual respect
"When he does sh*t to me and acts like it’s no big deal, then I do the same back and he gets offended."- Primary-Maybe-2749·
Constantly being taken advantage of.
"They only bothered with me when it suited them."
"I'd rather have nobody than have to deal with that."- zombi33mjhappy eric cartman GIF by South Park Giphy
When they literally revealed themselves to be criminals
"When they robbed me at gunpoint."- Ok_Student8032
When they stopped liking them after a change of situation
"Fourth grade, when my parents economical situation went downhill and suddenly no one invited me to their birthday party."
"Until Seven years later no one had never invited me to their birthday, or to anything at all actually."- Justalittletoserious
Not being able to get a word in...
"When they tell me to shut up when I say anything."- the_golden_cheesela respuesta GIF by Becky GGiphy
Violently playing with emotions
"She got a boyfriend and would let him listen to our phone calls and not tell me, even if I was crying about personal stuff that I would only ever tell her."
"Then they both started lying to me about my crush liking me back, forcing both him and me into awkward positions, telling everyone we liked each other so they'd play along, swapping places constantly to make us sit next to each other, pressuring him into giving me a lap dance, making him kiss the prettiest girl in the room, etc, and encouraged me to shoot my shot more and more."
"All the while they knew he didn't like me, he had told them both directly."
"One night I was crying on the phone cause I was so confused why my advances weren't working, and they just kept explaining it away, blaming some other bullsh*t reason and telling me to try again."
"The next day they told me they were laughing throughout the whole call, because I didn't get it and I was so upset."
"I should add I had no dating experience at all and nobody had ever liked me at this point."- Juliemj
It's always sad when our friends disappoint us.
But when our friends proved to be completely different people than we thought they were, it can be devastating.
As the saying goes, one never truly knows who their friends are.
When visiting any foreign country, one should always be familiar with the laws and customs of the land.
After all, what might be generally accepted on your home turf, might be frowned upon, if not illegal, elsewhere.
For that matter, even locals might need a refresher course on what they can and can't do while at home.
A recent Redditor was curious to hear what tourists and locals alike should avoid doing in the USA, leading them to ask:
"In the United States, what should you never do?"
Stay out of the skies!
"Don't fly a drone in Washington, DC."
"The whole D.C. Area is a no fly zone."
"It's a federal offense."
"Just don't do it."- PeytonCarrK
Cops can't be bribed.
"Don't try to bribe cops when you get pulled over."
"I had some Argentinian friends immediately pull out their wallets and start pooling their cash when they got pulled over once.'
"Fortunately someone in the car noticed and told them to put it away immediately."- PeytonCarrK
"Don't pay off the police."
"My dad has friends from several third-world nations where it is common practice to give the police some cash when you are pulled over."
"However, if you try to bribe a police officer here, you'll get into a lot of trouble."- JohnASmiley
Know your rights.
"Everyone, including foreigners, has the right to be silent and have a lawyer when being questioned."
"Don’t say anything."
"Also, even if you speak English fairly well, ask for an interpreter."- WickedLilThing
Enjoy all that nature has to offer... carefully!
"Don't wander off in the national parks."
"It's very real wilderness and you can get lost and die out there."
"This includes going over railings you aren't supposed to, or off trails."
"People have died accidentally falling into a steam geyser that looked like normal water, mauled by animals or left to the elements."- AlphaOhmeganational parks GIF by Visit The USAGiphy
Allow plenty of time!
"Expect consistency at TSA in airports."- WickedLilThing
Some terminology doesn't translate...
"If you’re from England, they’re called cigarettes here."- Yung_Onions
Make sure your license is up to date.
"If you come from a walkable country don’t come here expecting the same."
"There are some areas with good public transportation and bicycle/pedestrian friendly streets but for the most part, especially outside of cities, the areas are designed to accommodate cars more than anything else."
"The reason a lot of Americans drive everywhere is because, depending on where you live, we have no choice."- The_Cars93Dog Driving GIFGiphy
Wait for instructions.
"Get out of your car and approach the cop when being stopped by a cop unless told to."- hildrash
Whether your'e waling down a street in a foreign country, or the street you've lived on for your entire life, it's always wise to be on guard and aware of your surroundings.
Not to mention, obey the law.