People in relationships have, at one point or other, made a huge mistake that jeopardized their future together as a couple.
Some grievances like infidelity are so beyond the pale that it's not worth continuing the relationship based on the ole' "once a cheater, always a cheater" adage.
But depending on the situation, do untrustworthy significant others deserve a second chance?
Strangers online gave their take on the issue when Redditor ChildhoodPersonal225 asked:
"People who forgave their cheating partner, what was the reason you let it go?"
Forgiveness doesn't always lead to a favorable outcome.
"I forgave my cheating partner, but it was also the reason we got divorced. You can forgive someone and still not want to be with them anymore."
"I forgave her after leaving."
"Me too. I spent a year or two upset about it, because she was in a happy relationship with the guy she cheated with. I spent that time hoping that she would do the same to him, almost certain that she would. Figured the other shoe would drop eventually and I could watch with great satisfaction from afar."
"That day never came. They stayed in love, they got married, they’ve got two daughters now. From everything I’ve heard, they have a wonderful life together. And I’m really glad that they do. What she did hurt at the time, and it was sh**ty, but we were a couple of 21 year olds who thought a three year college relationship was going to last forever. She didn’t deserve to spend her life paying for one time that she harmed me, and I didn’t deserve to waste my days waiting for karma to come back around and ruin her life."
"She got married to him the same day that I moved into an awesome apartment in my local city to live out my 20s in the most fun way possible. In a way, it felt poetic. Because of what she did, she found the person she was meant to be with and I was given the opportunity to seize life in a way I hadn’t before that."
"I wouldn’t change a thing about what happened and I have no doubt that she wouldn’t either."
Forgiving and trusting someone again is a risk many people, who are still in love, take.
"Because I was trying to understand why it is she made that decision, and I wanted to try and make the marriage work. My mistake."
"It almost always happens again. Give someone an inch, they take a mile. Next time they'll get better at hiding it."
"Not me but a friend. He didn’t want to be single again and go through the dating process. So he forgave. She cheated couple of times more and he still forgave. Ended up married. I stopped keeping up with the story because it’s always the same cheating sh*t again."
Alone For The Right Reason
"I thought that if I left her then I'd be alone forever."
"3 years after leaving her and that turned out to not be true and I also learned that being single is much better than being in a sh**ty relationship."
Things Didn't Compute
"Because I couldn't do math."
"We were dating for two months, but things got serious pretty fast. Met each other's families - this was around the holidays - and were having the talks about where we saw things going. One weekend, I come down with a really bad flu. Couldn't move out of bed, and told her I could not see her, but would be happy to talk on the phone. She tells me, 'hey, if its all the same, do you mind if I pick up another shift at the "piano bar" waitressing and make some money for the night?' I tell her, sure, I'd rather rest and try to kick this bug, go for it."
"Three months later, we're sitting on my couch and she seems distant. She tells me we need to talk, starts crying and tells me she thinks she has an STD. She tells me the night she picked up that extra shift at the bar, she stayed until closing and fucked her married boss in his car. But - and here's the kicker - she tells me, 'you and I had only been on a couple of dates up to that point and weren't exclusive,' so it wasn't like she was cheating on me, in her mind. For some reason, I couldn't put the math together to figure out which weekend it was that she took that extra shift, so I dismissed it. It wasn't until months later that the math hit me like an epiphany and, by that time, we had developed so much more as a couple that I figured it was a one-off indiscretion. (PS: She didn't have an STD, she had a yeast infection.)"
"In the end, I called things off. She was a pretty terrible person in the end, and may have cheated on me at least two more times by the time things were over. I wasted three and a half years of my life with her, but I never married her or had kids with her, which would have been way worse."
The Fear Of Nothing Being Better Than The Alternative
"I was pregnant with my second child and terrified of doing it alone. I didn't think I was capable. I was also beaten down enough to feel like I'd never have anything better. Thankfully I wised up, it's been years now and I'm still single and may be that way for the rest of my days but it doesn't scare me like it did. I'm happy and that's all that really matters."
Some people are suckers for emotional breakdowns.
"I'm a sucker for crying. One year into our relationship she confessed in tears that she cheated on me two weeks into our relationship by having sex with her ex. I forgave her and was proud of her for being honest. Two months prior to our wedding and I find out she's been screwing her boss."
"My wife's first husband slept with a sex worker on a business trip to South Korea. He used to travel there several times a year, and it became a running joke with his co-workers that he never took part in the company-provided hook ups. So, he finally gave in on one trip, and felt utterly horrible about it."
"A lot of factors went into her forgiving him over this: He'd only been with my wife (since he was 17 an she was 15,) sexually, he felt absolutely horrible about it. What's amusing is that their two kids were very young, like 10 and 6, and my wife had a feeling that something was going on and had arranged for the kids to sing a little 'YAY! DAD'S HOME!' skit when he walked in the door..."
"They divorced about 10 years later for other reasons."
Here's the thing about cheating.
Thrill Of Getting Away With It
"It is like an addiction issue. Junkies are junkies. The poison doesn't make a difference in behavior."
"Cheaters literally seek out all the time the thrill of flirting, secrecy, and yes, having power over someone else, knowing and doing something wrong and getting away with it."
"That is why most cheating couples just fizzle out when they get together after the original SO drops out. Having the poor sap / sappess getting duped is what kept them entertained, not the humping."
"Cheating doesn't just 'happen', people make it happen actively. That is why only rarely -if ever- a change actually occurs, because change doesn't happen unless the person wills it."
Accidentally On Purpose
"My favorite is when people say 'it was an accident.'"
"You accidentally sent hundreds of texts, drove to their house, spent money on them and bounced up and down on them a few hundred times?"
"Yeah, sending a mixed signal is an accident not getting down with the whole act."
"It's still hard to wrap my head around how some people can be so emotionally unaware of what their actions do to others."
People deserve a second chance.
But based on the comments above, how do you know if the person you're trusting after they broke your heart aren't prone to making the same mistake again?
As they say, "fool me once..."
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Generation by generation we can either uplift or destroy this thing called life.
There is so much baggage we as humans carry for far too long.
Time for some cleansing.
RedditorPara--Dise wanted to discuss the things that we need to make sure don't hold back the generations behind us.
"What's something that needs to stop being passed down the generations?"
We have so much to do to help the next few gens. Let's get started.
Creepy ClownHalloween Clown GIF by ANTIQUES ROADSHOW | PBSGiphy
"This damn cookie jar, I told my gram it creeps me out. It’s a freaking porcelain clown head! I put it as deep in my closet as I can but I know he’s still watching me."
"At least in my family, the fancy wine glasses. No one ever uses them, everyone keeps them hidden in cupboards because they're too nice to use. They're not even sentimental, someone just picked them up one day and handed them around the family."
"My mother has a lot of Waterford crystal that she's very proud of. She'll bring it out for holiday dinners. I'm 100% inheriting this stuff. It's beautiful, but it's just not me. I guess maybe after it's mine, I'll invite friends over for dinners and make sure the pretty things get used."
"Inheritable diseases and medical conditions."
"Severe anxiety disorder runs very strongly in my family. I got that one. Alzheimer's also runs very strongly... I'm scared."
"With Crispr and other gene editing technology, we'll likely see many major inherited diseases entirely treated, if not completely cured, within the next decade."
Just Do It
"The idea that what you like to do isn't worth anything."
"Yeah it was always weird growing up when my parents would scoff at someone having fun or living their life. For example, they mocked my brother for taking scuba diving lessons because they thought it wasn't productive."
"Or they would talk crap about family members who took vacations that weren't at a resort or tourist trap. I grew up learning that mentality. It took me a while to get over it. Why am I going to watch a medieval knights tournament? Because it's FUN. Because I WANT to do it. It's like they need some kind of justification to enjoy themselves."
DefaultsNo Way Beer GIF by BuschGiphy
"The whole narrative that because someone is older they deserve blind respect and obedience."
"I always approach older people with respect, as a default. Then decide if they deserved it out not and act accordingly."
We really are a mess as human race. Let's clean up.
Extended Fam IssuesSuper Bowl Ok GIF by PepsiGiphy
"Being forced to spend time with distant relatives. It's ok not to be around those that live polar opposite lifestyles than you. I have relatives that will never know where I live and for good reason, yet family is always 'you need to keep in touch...' The heck I do!"
Break the Cycle
"Amen to this. By all accounts my dad was beaten bloody so often by his dad it was just normalized in his family. He left home at age 16 and joined the Air Force. I barely knew my grandfather before he died of cancer. My dad almost hit me once and stopped."
"I can still remember his eyes and how he lowered his hand and walked away at the last second. He never hit me or my sister. I think it was tough, going against his conditioning and his trauma response. He was a distant father, I am not going to lie. But my daughter has been raised in a loving, kind and caring home with no violence. Breaking the cycle and healing generational trauma is tough."
I'm not a bank...
"Making your child your retirement fund."
"This is a timely comment. Father-In-Law just called saying he is broke and about to be homeless. (hasn't paid taxes since leaving the military in the 80s.) Hasn't talked to his daughter since leaving the wedding early, before the reception, over a year ago.. but she says we cant just let him be homeless."
don't do that to our kids...
"I have noticed my parents always did things the way their parents did. They never questioned it or remembered how it made them feel like crap. My friends and I are the opposite and question everything and have pin pointed what was awful growing up and ya know... don't do that to our kids."
"The amount of things growing up in the 80s/90s that were just answered with being hit or punished or yelled at or sent to my room or told to just deal with it and be quiet was extraordinary. I hope I can pass that mentality down to my kids as well."
It's not mine...Credit Card Corona GIF by INTO ACTIONGiphy
"The biggest mistake I've seen people make is saying ANYTHING relating to the remaining debt. Treat debt collectors like a cop. Don't say crap about it."
"If you're asked about it, don't respond. The moment you do, the flood begins, regardless if you say 'it's not my debt.' The pressure will begin right away. As for the constant requests, you can respond stating it's harassment and you'll report it if any more come in."
Debt is the top of my list. You see the National debt? Lord help us all.
What would you add to this list? Let us know in the comments down below.
Flowers are beautiful, but they die.
There must be other sorts of tokens someone can give to the men in their life.
Yes, men can receive flowers, except there are things they'd rather receive.
Redditor forsakenneverlandwanted to hear some good ideas for presents for gents.
"Men of Reddit, what is the male equivalent of flowers as a gift?"
Money. I will always take money as my flowers.
Deli TripHungry Late Show GIF by The Late Show With Stephen ColbertGiphy
"A good sandwich. I was on my way to visit my girlfriend 3 hours away this weekend, and she called and asked if I wanted a grilled cheese waiting for me when I got there. What an exciting gift that was."
"When me and my wife were just starting out, I was talking to her on my way home from work about how I was so tired I was probably gonna skip dinner cause I didn't want to cook and didn't have the money to eat out. I don't know when she did it, but when I got home, 2 minutes later a pizza guy showed up with my favorite pizza."
"Inside the box said something like 'I know it's not that healthy, but it's better than not eating.' No one had ever done something like that for me before. Not just the gift of food, but that it was because she didn't want me to skip a meal either. She cared about my well being."
"I work as a first responder. One day we were sitting on the truck, stuck in traffic, in the downtown area. A woman walked up to my window and handed me a single rose, smiled, and told me to have a nice day. I didn't even know how to respond to that. But I'll be damned if my day didn't get 1000% nicer after that. I'm in my 40s. That was the only time I remember ever being given flowers, and I regularly think about how nice it felt. Most guys don't get random flowers. Guys should get more random flowers."
"Nothing says I love you like a good terminal screwdriver."
"My GF just dropped my 11mm into my engine bay never to be seen again. That's like taking flowers away from someone."
Hold MeHugs Love GIF by joeyahlbumGiphy
"Yep. Even one would be great. Not sure if this sounds pathetic but I haven't been hugged in forever and I really want a long hug from anyone."
Just hold me close. I'll take it. Lasts longer than a rose.
Sexysexy man GIFGiphy
"Literally any acknowledgement of the dudes physical being. Not sure if it's just my experience or if it's a general thing but any acknowledgement of any part of myself will keep me going for a week."
True love language...
"Agreed. My daughter always makes me brownies for Father's day. Best present ever."
"I’m a woman, and I’d prefer homemade food to flowers. Food is a true love language. When you care enough to prepare something special for someone, you’re truly showing how you feel."
"I bought my wife an expensive ring for our 8 year anniversary. She bought me a £18 switch game. Good trade I think. Male equivalent to flowers is probably money spent on a hobby."
"Or permission to spend money on the hobby. My wife has no idea about my hobbies. She’s tried a couple of times but there’s a lot that an outsider wouldn’t consider. But if she says to me 'I’ve found some money in the budget, reckon you can spend $50?' I know exactly what I’m getting!"
"Or even better: take him shopping. Tell him you want to get him something for his hobby but you don’t understand it enough. So ask him to take you to whichever store is involved, ask about it, point to another item and ask why his choice is better. He’ll start budgeting engagement rings!"
A Hot Second
"Honestly, the only time I've ever felt like how I imagine others feel when they receive flowers, I had talked to a friend who lives far away the evening before about how I was having a hard time, and then she just turned up at my door to give me a hug before she had to go catch a bus to her parent's house. Between the utter surprise at her of all people turning up at my door, to how needed that hug was, I was completely in love with her for a hot second there."
Classicskeanu reeves flowers GIFGiphy
"My wife buys me flowers sometimes, and I really like it."
"Yeah, I agree that the male version of flowers is flowers."
Flowers always say it best, but the other ideas work.
What would you add to this list? Let us know in the comments below.
I'm not perfect with words.
But I do love them.
That's why I get frustrated when people destroy them.
All it takes is one letter to ruin everything.
If I find I'm pronouncing something wrong, I look up the correct way.
Why can't everyone else do that as well?
Redditor schnozzberryflopwanted to compile a list of pronunciations we need to sharpen up on.
"What's a mispronunciation that sends you into fits of rage?"
Don't axe me anything. Ask me.
Correct evadinggenie talking GIFGiphy
"'Eluding to’ something. That’s alluding meaning referring to something indirectly. Eluding means evading something."
"I once made this typo, and someone commented 'it seems the correct form of 'allude" eludes you.' :D "
"Ugh... affect/effect I just have a hard time ignoring. Like my brain will read the one they wrote but in a sarcastic/condescending tone."
"Actually, legitimate question for you: when should one use "affect" and when should they instead use 'effect?'"
"I've never been able to find a hard and fast rule, and have been using it like; 'affect'; when something causes something (example: "you are affected by the sleep spell"), and effect when referring to the effects of something (ex: 'the sleep spell has an effect in a 30 ft sphere'). Is this anywhere near correct or am I way off?"
For once in my life...
"My co-worker keeps saying 'Ask-rix' instead of 'asterisk.' It drives me insane."
I just found out and I’m, like old, that I’ve been saying it wrong 'asterick' my whole life. I want to punch myself in the face. Hopefully the next 40 years go better."
"I had a former coworker correct me when I said asterisk. She was very confident that it was asterix. For once in my life, I didn't rub it in endlessly."
What a Year!
"I had a boss once who would always call it a 'physical year.' It took me longer than I care to admit to realize that she actually meant 'fiscal year.' It’s amazing how much more sense my job made after that lol."
"Had to scroll way too far for this. I have worked in finance and people still say Physical Year.. which is just mind-boggling to me. Fiscal and physical are two different things."
"I've always thought a physical year in accounting/book keeping to mean Jan-Dec and fiscal year is the time between the company closing their books."
???No Way Smh GIFGiphy
"I try not to get worked up about mispronunciations, but I had a manager who said 'per batim' instead of verbatim, and I winced every time she said it."
It's like nobody went to school.
Letters MatterInsanity Going Crazy GIFGiphy
"My boyfriend doesn’t pronounce the first r in 'frustrated.' He sounds like a child and it’s… well, frustrating."
"My husband (and his family) does this. Makes me insane."
The Mix Up
"Not a pronunciation but I see people switch 'sale' and 'sell' in social media all the time and it boggles my mind they don't know the difference."
"I’ve seen so many people mix up woman and women online that I can’t figure out if they don’t know that one is singular and one is plural or if it’s autocorrect for some reason. I’ve seen it so many times that I really don’t think people know the difference and it bothers me so much."
just get a taco...
"My mom cannot pronounce chipotle. She says 'chip-ol-tee.'"
"My Dad does the same thing! He also says 'kay-suh-dill-uh' no matter how many times I correct him."
"When the town I grew up in finally got a Chipotle, nearly everyone pronounced it 'Chi-pol-tay' and it made me stabby."
"My bf says... 'Kway-so' instead of queso. Makes me wanna go kwazy and kwill him."
"I work in a hotel. The number of people that refer to adjoining rooms (meaning to have the connecting door between them) as 'ca-joined' (not conjoined which is still wrong but still less wrong) makes me want to rage punch them. Call them adjoining. Call them connecting. Call them adjacent even. But ca-joined is not a go**amn word."
I'll have Tea
"When people say eXspecially instead of eSpecially."
"EXpecially if they order eXpresso at the coffee shop."
"My Dad says expresso. Very smart, very educated, very good grammar, loves coffee. Still says expresso."
"Had to scroll too far for this one, it’s the worst."
"Someone I work with does this with so many basic words that she says almost daily, including exspecially. She also always says physical when she means fiscal. Oh, and she says supposably instead of supposedly."
Be Surethe narrator GIFGiphy
"They never get insure/ensure right either."
"Like nails on a chalkboard."
Did we all pay attention? Sound it out!
Do you have similar experiences to share? Let us know in the comments below!
The first time I watched Saw, I was a pretty impressionable teenager.
I had seen a bunch of horror films but I was of course nowhere near as seasoned a film-watcher as I am now, and that ending really blew my mind.
It was pretty awesome and was a pleasure to see at the right age, opening my eyes further to how successful cinematic storytelling can be.
It helps that the film has some excellent twists and turns before the ride finishes, too.
Oh, and let's not talk about the sequels. They all seem to think they can top the first (or rival something like the twist in Hitchcock's Psycho, and it's a bore).
People shared their thoughts with us after Redditor MrPhraust asked the online community,
"What movie has the greatest plot twist of all time?"
The Skeleton Key (2005)
"The Skeleton Key had stuck with me as not many movies can pull the "the hero is f*cked" twist very well."
This film is very underrated. A decent horror film that came out during a slew of terrible studio efforts. The ending is good stuff.
The Sixth Sense (1999)
"I have to agree with The Sixth Sense; at the time it was a HUGE deal. Everyone was being quiet about the ending, and the friend who took me to see it only said she'd know when I figured it out by my gasp. And as I gasped, so did about a dozen other people in the theater. It was mega cool!"
That pretty much is what made it all work: the common agreement between everyone who had seen it to keep their mouths shut.
The Cabin in the Woods (2012)
"The Cabin in the Woods got me good, wasn't expecting a twist in a run of the mill horror film."
You see, I wasn't in love with this one at all, but I can see why so many people ate it up. For me, it was a little too "meta" for its own good.
The Others (2001)
"The Others. I saw that movie a single time 20 years when I was a kid and the twist stuck with me. It was pretty great."
If you liked The Others, check out The Innocents (1961), from which The Others takes a lot of inspiration.
"I feel like I should have seen it coming but I genuinely didn't expect it."
Good choice. Worth seeing for Guy Pearce's great performance alone.
Primal Fear (1996)
"Primal Fear. This is one solid movie. And when he starts clapping at the end I couldn't believe all this time he had the wool pulled over all our eyes."
This is also the movie that put Edward Norton on the map, and we should be grateful.
The Usual Suspects (1995)
"The Usual Suspects. Favorite thing about that movie is you have no idea what was true and what was made up."
This one is very satisfying and has been mimicked multiple times since!
The Prestige (2006)
"I'm convinced that Chris Nolan is obsessed with plots that make the viewer watch multiple times. Sometimes it works like Prestige and sometimes it doesn't like Tenet, but it's always a unique take to filmmaking."
This one is definitely worth revisiting. For those of you who are interested, you can rent it on Apple TV for just a few bucks!
"Orphan. Never in a million years would I have guessed THAT plot twist."
Good call! I recently sat through Orphan: First KIll, and while it wasn't fantastic, I appreciated how even this one had a twist I did not expect.
"Frailty. I started to get suspicious near the end but it still took me a bit by surprise."
I saw this again after I realized it was on HBO Max and it was well worth revisiting. Makes you question the events of the entire film.
Hopefully you don't mind reading spoilers–or the suggestion of spoilers–for films that are in some cases more than 20 years old.
Regardless, these are worth seeing, so you can appreciate these films for what they are.
Have some suggestions of your own? Tell us more in the comments below!