People Who've Been Cheated On And Forgave Their Partner Explain How Their Relationship Turned Out
What do you do when your partner cheats? Do you leave? Do you take a timeout and reassess your relationship? Do you stay and work it out? Do you come to a new agreement?
Each relationship is different, and solutions are hardly black and white. That said, it can be difficult for many people to understand why someone would stay with a partner who has strayed, especially when the concept of monogamy is largely viewed as the default for many relationships.
People shared their stories after Redditor mehrunysa asked the online community,
"Redditors who got cheated on and gave chance to their cheater partner, how did it end up?"
"Being young is no excuse..."
"She cheated on me again. Left her for good. The worst part is she was my best friend before we got together.
She was an awesome friend, but a crappy girlfriend. She was my first serious relationship, and for a long time I thought I could have done more to keep her faithful, but I eventually realized that she could have just broken up with me instead of cheating, and it wasn't my fault at all.
She is married now, and I hope for both their sakes that she cleaned up her act. Being young is no excuse, and being cheated on is one of the worst feelings ever."
The loss of trust can be soul-destroying. We're sorry to hear you went through that.
"Years later..."
"In failure. Years later I received, what felt like, a real apology for the incident and other mistreatments. But this was only after she had received poor/similar treatment from a recent partner. Hard to tell if it was sincere or just a ploy for pity."
Sounds like it was a ploy for pity. You're better off.
"But she learned..."
"She cheated again. But she learned to cover her tracks better. I wasted the last 4 years of my life with her."
"I moved out..."
"She started cheating a little before our 1 year marriage anniversary. I found out fairly quickly, gave her a second chance, and she did it again 6 months later on my birthday... with her (then) best friend's husband.
I moved out immediately. Got diagnosed with cancer about a month later, and got served with divorce papers 2 weeks after that.
Cheaters are scum."
"The only redeeming part..."
"3/10, would not recommend.
Any time we ever had a disagreement after I chose to forgive her, she accused me of only arguing with her because she cheated on me. I let her know I was capable of forgiving and forgetting more than her. When we finally broke up, she had to move back in with her family (we were in CA, they were in VT).
The only redeeming part of it was that I was able to let her family know that she cheated on me and that she wouldn't stop bringing it up."
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"When I finally figured out..."
"My girlfriend and I started out long-distance, and it was hard to pinpoint what our relationship actually was. I was far from honest about not being with anyone else during the beginning. For the first couple years, I was just being a ho, didn't really consider that it would pan out, and was careless of her feelings. Apathy fueled by depression and substance abuse, but that's no excuse.
When I finally figured out that she was the one I truly wanted to be with, I admitted that I had been unfaithful. She sat me down and gave me one, and only one chance to come clean about every single thing.
I figured she would end up leaving after hearing it all anyway, but it was better to do right by her, and be honest.
I've been faithful since, she moved 300km to live with me, we have 4 cats after merging our houses, and I've never been happier in my life. She's already picked out her ring, and I'm going to propose in October when we're on vacation in Mexico. I plan to spend the rest of my life with her, doing whatever I can to reciprocate the positivity, and happiness that she's given me."
It sounds like you both made it work beautifully. Her compassion allowed you both to start a new chapter honestly. Well done. Congratulations.
"It's actually..."
"It's actually worked out really well, we're happy together and have been together 19 years."
"It was a misplaced investment..."
"It was a misplaced investment of faith, love, duty, and hope.
We're divorcing."
"Battling his own issues..."
"Cheated again and again. Battling his own issues and realized it wasn't me and I wasn't able to change his horrible habit. So I left. He's cheating on his new girlfriend now. Hopefully, he works through whatever it is that makes him hurt others in such a horrendous way."
That's a more compassionate response than others might give. Hopefully you're right.
"What a winner."
"He dumped me in the middle of a pub in front of all his friends because he saw a chick walk in who he was trying to bang in the time we were broken up after he cheated on me.
What a winner."
While those who have made a relationship work out might seem to represent a minority, these experiences are just as valid as those of people who've had a bad time.
Have some stories of your own? Is it possible to come back from cheating? Can a relationship recover? Feel free to tell us in the comments below.
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