It's no secret that businesses will cut corners to increase profitability however, there is a line-a big red line that should not be crossed. When it comes to safety or ethics cutting costs should not come first. Almost everyone has had on-the-job experiences where bosses have asked them to do something that didn't sit right with them.
One job I left after being pressured to break my own morals was *surprise* working retail. It was a mall jeweler and we were closely tracked on how many credit card apps we sell in a day and they wanted us to sell a minimum of several hundred dollars to customers per visit. We were given guidance on how to sign people up for the credit cards without actually telling them it was a credit card. It went beyond sales tactics into straight-up dishonesty, we were also encouraged to take advantage of people who may not understand what we were doing and to put pressure on the vulnerable.
Grandma comes in looking around? Tell her you just want to help her save by making her a "member" and need some info, get her into a credit card and then max it out by guilting her into buying hundreds in things she doesn't need because her family will love her so much more for the gifts. It just felt gross.
Right before I left there was a region-wide legal issue that was being investigated. Turns out employees-encouraged by their managers-had been opening credit accounts under customers' names and charging expensive jewelry to them without their knowledge just to reach sales goals and the commission. We weren't supposed to talk about it but it was a company-wide issue not a unique experience.
Bad as it was it was still minor compared to some of the stories below that are outright dangerous.
Redditor Inner-Housing1927 asked:
“What's that one blatantly illegal or unethical thing management forced you to do at work??"
The responses confirmed what we already expected...bare bottom morals.
"The building itself was also a literal death trap.”
“Worked at a little drive through coffee stand. Boss was incredibly cheap. Wanted me to use about half the grounds necessary to pull a good shot. If a cup fell on the floor I was supposed to rinse it and use it anyway (I did not). That kinda thing.”
“The building itself was also a literal death trap. The fire marshal came out for an inspection one day and straight up said they hoped I wasn't inside when it caught fire.”
“The electrical system was overloaded, and the appliances were all situated between the main workspace and the door, thankfully the drive up window wasn't too high so I probably could have jumped if need be. The nail in the coffin though was that they wanted to bring by stock at the very end of my shift and expected me to clock out before putting it away if they were late.”
“I refused so I'd constantly be harassed about how they were poor small business owners and I needed to understand (they weren't poor by any means). I eventually found a better job and quit but they told all my former coworkers they'd fired me for stealing.” caffeineandsarcasm
“Pass a concrete strength test that failed two of the three data points, but the third was high enough that the average was fine. The very small footbridge broke. They got sued, I quit.” sandh035
Good advice: “Take notes of the bad things they do and keep dates.”
“I worked maintenance a plastic molding company. We had a grinder that would destroy plastic chunks turning them into tiny pieces. Well the hopper where the plastic is added has a huge sign on it saying ‘don't lean in’ right on the front near the opening.”
“There was a request from a worker asking for padding because he would hurt his stomach when he leaned in. When I told him I was not going to do it, he glared at me telling me, ‘sometimes you just have to get over yourself and do what you're told.’”
“When I put my two weeks in, the plant manager asked my reasons, I mentioned that as one of them. PM told me he and the safety manager told the maintenance manager that was not to be done. The MM was fired in the middle of my two weeks.”
“On a positive note, I was asked to list off the reasons why I quit in the legal hearing when the MM sued the plastics company for wrongful termination. Advice for everyone. Take notes of the bad things they do and keep dates.” yankstraveler
“notifying them that what they were doing was extortion...”
“Fortunately I wasn't dumb, so I refused. But I had worked for a bakery for five years before receiving a better offer at competing bake shop. I was polite and gave them two weeks notice, they turned around and told me I wouldn't receive my last two paychecks until I signed a NDA.”
“I didn't say a word in return, just calmly walked out and went straight to the department of labor. Sent them an official form notifying them that what they were doing was extortion, it was a class four felony, and they had two weeks to send me my paychecks or I would see them in court. They complied within three days.” Inomsbacon
Window Cleaners Share The Best Things They've Ever Seen | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Some fishy business practices...
“My first ever job as a teen was at a small fish and chip shop. There was a bit of cod that was getting a bit smelly, so my boss threw it in the bin. A couple of hours later after the evening rush, I was washing up at the sink next to said bin.“
“My boss came out, reached in the bin and dug out the cod. He rinsed it very sparingly under the tap I had running, before going out and dipping it in batter and serving it to a customer.”
“I was a very timid 16 year old at the time and I asked him why he would sell that, he just shrugged and said ‘we didn't have any other medium cod’. The shift after that I was making the pea fritter mix ready to be battered.”
“We used to use an ice cream scoop to get the mushy peas into a ball shape. I accidentally dropped a whole scoop on the sticky floor, and he told me to pick it up and squish it back into a ball. Um, no. I left the next week and went to work in a shop.“ Comfortable_blanket
Heavy equipment with only three wheels...
“I was told to run a remote overhead crane with only 3 wheels. it carried large coils of rolled-up aluminum for Ladle Treatment. The aluminum would swing and cause the missing wheel area to bottom out, causing more swing and making it worse."
“This was moving over my coworker's heads. The foreman told me to keep doing it... i called the safety team and they came up and said 'hell no' another foreman came up and ordered me to run it but have everyone clear the area...ok that's sorta safe I guess but killed production."
“The 2nd foreman later 'reminded' me that I hadn't filled out the daily safety inspection. Well, don't mind if I do. Red section 'if anything is checked in this area do not operate' let's see...missing wheel, check. mechanical problems, check. The first foreman sees what I'm doing and says 'the wheel is on order it's just not here yet.'"
"'OK what's that got to do with this liability checklist I was told to fill out?' Back to the checklist, oh look a write-in section. 'INOP crane ordered to be run by 3rd foreman' signed me 'Smartass Steelworker' the 3rd foreman was the 2nd guy it was 3rd shift."
"What he didn't know was he didn't comeback to my area for the rest of the night and the checklist was picked up by the General Foreman in the morning when I got off. I came in that night to a sh*tstorm."
"he safety team had lost its mind, that paper I filled out went directly to OSHA. That missing wheel showed up in record time and they had been down all day fixing it. I showed up and it had just been certified by the millwrights." BlueFalconPunch
“I was asked to cut off a doctor from getting new clients in an effort to get them to quit, while at the same time lying to them about why they weren't getting new clients. I was asked to do this twice with two different doctors.”
“Before I left I told the doctor in question (the other one had already quit) what I had been told to do. It didn't go well for them. Seriously, just grow up and fire people you don't like. Don't do this.” Gigglekittens
“he said he didn't care, it's how he made his profit...”
“At all butchers I worked at, they had me re-label almost anything that had a short date. This was to give it a longer date. The worst one was the chicken, which would be frozen, defrosted for selling.”
“If it didn't sell, back in the freezer it went, then back out the next day to thaw and sell. Re-labelled. I confronted the owner about this, and he said he didn't care, it's how he made his profit. Safe to say I quit a month later.” CrysisRegrets
A dangerous combination...
“I was asked to sign off on a plan to immediately start receiving, storing, and using huge quantities of an extremely volatile chemical without any of the necessary infrastructure or procedures to do so even remotely safely. It would have almost literally been a ticking time bomb.”
“It was also all for a new product they wanted to get into the market ASAP which they'd skipped 95% of the design control process for and mostly bypassed both the Quality and Regulatory departments on.”
“When I was pulled into a meeting with upper management about it, I told them that if they were going to actually consider this then I needed to quit effective immediately to avoid implicating myself in what they were doing. Oddly they suddenly started taking my concerns very seriously after I said that.”
“Rather than overtly evil, they ended up simply being a terrifyingly dangerous combination of ignorant, eager, optimistic, and overconfident in their own knowledge.” Stylemys
Working in surgery with no medical experience!?
“I got hired as a secretary for a plastic surgery office. Was told I would be answering phones/scheduling and that's it. I had zero medical experience and told them this. On day 1 I was handed a pair of scrubs and told that I was also going to be a scrub tech as well."
“I was instructed to assist the doctor in surgery (basically I handed in tools, held tools that were attached to the patient, etc). I almost passed out on the first day from shock. I was assured over and over again that it was legal. Whether it was legal or not I'm not sure, but I lasted 3 months and quit as soon as I found another job." JustSuze_393
In the corporate world, one thing seems to trump all ethics and statutes--the dollar. However, when faced with these awful and potentially dangerous situations, it's always best to speak up if you're able.
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Let's get existential ... and argumentative.
Because this is internet, people, why are you acting like you don't know what we're here for?
Reddit user Due_Abrocoma6874 asked:
"What exists, but can't be sensed with our 5 senses?"
Which means what was intended as an exploration into the ephemeral took a sudden detour into semantics city.
Because Reddit is Reddit.
"Magnetism, extremely powerful (it saves us from the Sun) but you can't tell it's there unless you have something to tell you. I work in a electric motor shop and have to stick my hand in +4,000 horse power motors with dummy rotors to test them. I'm probably shooting blanks now, my 2nd answer, infertility."
"I think you're confusing the effects of ionizing radiation with magnetism. Strong magnetic fields have absolutely no effects on humans; MRIs are a perfect example. However, working with radioactive materials or near x-ray sources can kill irreplaceable cells in the reproductive organs of both sexes."
"Hence the burning question, 'F*cking Magnets, How Do They Work??' "
"Interesting job, bad answer."
"Look I'm not a 'magnestist' here, just an electrician which I guess could be one of the next closest jobs. But thats like saying you can't use any of our senses to sense gravity."
"Ever seen an object get affected by a magnet? That's sensing magnetism through our sense of 'sight'. Ever held something near a magnet - or even a magnet itself since you can feel the repllent aspect of the force as well? That is sensing magnetism through our sense of 'touch'."
"When anyone cops a belt (sparky for an electric shock) whether it be licking a 9v battery, touching live 240v conductors or even getting struck by lightning; we are feeling the electromagnetically energised positive protons and negative electrons trying to balance themselves out. We literally feel our body experience magnetism."
"Hahaha I did have a laugh at your second answer though that's probably true"
"Actually, both of those are the effects of magnetism. We can't sense magnetic force, just what it causes."
- Mori_564Season 3 Smoking GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy
It's Technically Hearing, But We Get It.
"The difference between an awkward silence and regular silence"
"YES! Have a freebie!"
"I choose not to ever consider silence to be awkward silence and i encourage others to do the same. Yeah it's some corny sigma male sh*t but it's really made my conversations more enjoyable"
"Once knew a guy who was having difficulties with a co-worker. HR finally just told them not to talk to each other. A week later HR spoke to him because the other guy whined about him being 'aggressively silent'. Like wtf?"
"bro speaking facts"
"It is a regular silence until you mention the silence. Then it is an awkward silence."
"Most of reality."
"And yet some brilliant humans have been able to make many of the insensible things visible through their inventions. It’s incredible how many things are known even when we’re unable to detect it without devices."
"I thought this was a dark matter reference at first."
"Most of the universe is dark matter, but we can't see it, touch it, smell it, or interact with it in any way with our senses."
"This is perhaps the best and, simultaneously, most frightening answer."
"If we had 10 more senses and 1000 more IQ points we still wouldn't be able to experience even a fraction of reality."
"Here's a rough list of things that are currently all around you but you don't know is there:"
"Countless air molecules such as oxygen, carbon dioxide, and nitrogen"
"Light (EM spectrum) outside of our range. Radio signals from cell phones, routers, towers, planes, etc. Xrays and gamma rays from upper atmosphere particle interactions and distant stars."
" Billions and billions of neutrinos produced by the sun that penetrate the earth (and your body of course)."
" Radioactive emissions from various natural decaying elements including Carbon"
"14 found in pretty much anything with Carbon (such as your body). Also Potassium such as in Bananas."
" Billions of bacteria and viruses all over everything."
" That Klingon Warbird decloaking off starboard!"
"Nuclear radiation, plus neutrinos - they go right through us."
"Apparently it tastes like metal when there is a lot of radiation tho"
"Astronauts said they could see flashes of light through their closed eyelids, so not all radiation"
"But I do agree with neutrinos"
"Technically you could sense neutrinos since they could hypothetically interact with the liquid inside your eyes, but that happens so rarely and our eyes are so small that statistically it will never happen for anyone ever."
- Moiklefox artists on tumblr GIF by Animation Domination High-DefGiphy
You Have To Imagine The Flavor
"The different flavors of La Croix."
"La Croix flavors aren’t real, you read the can or see the color and it tricks your brain into thinking there is a flavor. I’m convinced this is true and nothing anyone says can change my mind."
"Wait... La Croix has flavors? I thought it was just different can colors"
"Ha! I have a buddy that always said La Croix is like drinking sparkling water while someone on the other end of the house whispers the word grapefruit."
"It tastes like TV static"
- chealey21Soda Water Summer GIF by LaCroix Sparkling WaterGiphy
"Magenta. Your brain makes it up"
"I'll take it if seeing it as grey is the only alternative."
"Crap how many things that we perceive as grey are actually exciting colours? I know certain birds, insects and marine life can see a wider scope of colours than we can."
"I am so confused. I know exactly what magenta is but I googled it and there are no wavelengths? Is life a lie?"
"Technically your brain makes up all colors and sight. I think what you are saying though is that there isn't a specific wavelength range that the brain directly converts to magenta. Actually now that I think of it, I'm not sure what that weird fact is about. I'll have to read more about it."
"Even crazier than Magenta are the impossible colors which can only be perceived temporarily via an optical illusion."
" 'Stygian Blue' is a shade of blue that's darker than black."
" 'Hyperbolic Orange' is a shade of orange that's even more orange than orange."
"The 'self luminous' colors look like brighter-than-white glowing pastels."
"They're kind of trippy."
"Carbon monoxide. Unless dying counts as a sense."
"All gasses except for CO2 are undetectable to the human body. Not just CO"
"Even CO2 is undetectable. It has the EXACT SAME symptoms as every other gas. An impending sense of doom, hallucinations(usually scary and violent) and finally random bouts of unconsciousness getting worse as the volume increases but thats hypoxia as well so..."
"What I mean is that CO2 is the pretty much the only gas that the lungs evolved specifically to reject. A lung full of CO2 is always going to burn and generally feel suffocating although I don't have enough experience with colder co2 vapors to know what those might feel like."
"If it's a lung of PURE CO2 yeah but in the toxic level you won't notice it cause it's not lethal."
"Why is this so far down on the list?"
- alleghenysingersleepy homer simpson GIFGiphy
I Got A Feeling Somebody's Watching Me
"When you’re being watched. You can’t hear, see, touch, taste or smell who or what is watching you. You just kinda… know 👁👁"
"I've heard that your peripheral vision is exceedingly good at detecting eyes. It doesn't tell you exactly where but it alerts that 'being watched' feeling. Technically still sight."
"Typically, the reason for this is because your brain has picked up on something that isnt quite right, wether its silence, or the absence of something thats usually there, but most times, you can't tell what that thing is, but you know something isnt right"
"My buddy went hiking on Vancouver Island a few years ago and told me he had that exact feeling directly behind him. Turned around and a mountain lion was staring at him from a distance."
"You can you just don't know you can. You as a being are too focused on random bullshit than on surviving its why we have a part of the brain DEDICATED TO THREAT DETECTION. It's called your subconscious or Instincts. Instincts are useful because they give you that gut feeling and deal with your reflexes. If you've ever gotten into a fight and grabbed a rock or something without thinking about it it was Instincts. If you've ever felt paranoid or afraid of the dark despite being 30 years old and having gotten over it that's Instincts. If you've ever looked at a ledge and thought about jumping off that's Instincts telling you have terrifyingly bad an idea that is(something to do with monkey brain and judging distances you can fall from safely)"
- MutedAd7206Interested George Clooney GIFGiphy
"Depends what you mean by "sensed". If I look at a video feed from a satellite at the far end of the Moon, am I seeing the far end of the Moon? If I look at a picture of distant galaxies imaged in infrared, watch a vapor trail in a particles experiment, listen to a sonification of data, feel a building tremble in an earthquake, do I sense these existing things?"
"What is allowed to be between myself and the existing 'thing', to still call it sensing? Do the instruments have to be part of my body? What about glasses? Implanted lenses? Hearing aids? Skin grafts?"
"Regardless of your answer, the only thing I would say with some certainty exists, but cannot be sensed, is the future (some future) because the laws of physics forbid time travel in that direction.."
"I would argue that time in that sense doesn’t even really count as existing. It’s more of an abstraction or summary of the interaction between existent things in space (spacetime would be a better way to think about it)."
"Not one thing can be said to exist without the claim being dependent on the senses."
Not Your Typical Wave
"Most radio waves"
"More like the entire electromagnetic spectrum apart from visible light and infrared."
"Up to a certain amplitude but eventually … cooked 😂"
"Most light aka most of the electromagnetic spectrum. In fact we can't sense any radio waves at all, not with our human senses anyway, as the OP asked."
"I was going to say WiFi, but that is also an electromagnet wave."
Now that you've argued your way through some Redditors thoughts, let's argue more in the comments.
What do you know exists even though you can't exactly perceive it?
Life is full of boring things.
Life is full of uninteresting things.
So... if life full?
That's a question for another time.
Let's focus on the things that leave us bored to tears.
Or numb with no feeling at all.
You ever wonder how people get so super involved and jazzed about some stuff and you look at it and all you can do is yawn?
That's our topic.
Redditorroscatorossowanted to hear about what things we all can live without.
"What's something you have ZERO interest in?"
I have a long list of having zero interest in things. Give me a few more points.
"Extending my car’s warranty."
"We have messaged you about your car's extended warranty."
Ashamed-Help-6662Chopping Video Game GIFGiphy
"All pyramid schemes should get stuffed."
"At one point my boss was hocking Herbalife and young living essential oils on the side of the business, it was a blast trying to take a sick day because she had the cure for everything."
"Commercial advertisements interrupting what I’m doing."
"Let's talk about commercial ads in cinemas. I stopped going to a certain cinema (The Space chain, in Italy) for this reason. Tickets are more expensive than the family owned cinema, and before the movie starts you have at least 30 minutes of ads."
"Unless you book online, they don't allow you in if the 'movie' has started. Online bookers can go in until 30 minutes after the booked time. For some reason, my friends love it. I deeply hate it. People usually run out of popcorn before the movie starts. The last time I went there, I paid 12.50€ for a movie that had to start at 22:30, and it started at 23:20. Never again."
"Raid shadow legends."
"I did actually download it. Played it for like 5 minutes, there was very little in the way of strategy or anything and it kept giving me new 'tasks.' Eventually I discovered a 'Auto fight' button that would literally play the game for you requiring 0 input from you. I uninstalled it."
"Shows about d**chebags dating on some island."
Kramer1812Heart Andre GIF by LoveIslandUSAGiphy
I still can't believe people get invested in those shows.
"Literally whatever my neighbor wants to talk about, everyday."
maketesSpongebob Squarepants Reaction GIF by NickelodeonGiphy
"Gender reveal parties. We're gonna find out soon enough."
"Somebody I worked with had a cringy one of these at our team meeting, after talking shop about very serious issues in suits and ties etc. At the end my manager was like 'ok so now we have a special moment where Nadine is going to reveal to us the gender of her baby.' She got up excitedly in front revealing a big box covered in glitter and s**t, slowly cut a ribbon and balloon popped out with 'it's a boy' on it. We just all sat there and awkwardly clapped like we cared."
"Praising and defending corrupt politicians like a freaking God."
"Corrupt politicians, more like ANY politician. I find it so strange seeing people idolise and put their political leaders on these untouchable pedestals while they crap on them, none of them care about anything other than their agenda and their wallets."
"I've recently been seeing a clickbait on my social media that says, 'Did Anne Frank have white privilege? The internet is up in arms...' or something like that. I cannot even describe the feeling of shut the heeeeellll up, and total exhaustion that that question gives me."
Not a Thing
"Celebrities/ Influencer Culture."
"I really hate the term 'influencer.' It just sounds so pompous and is mostly only used by people who want to feel more relevant than they actually are."
CC_KeyesSocial Media Reaction GIF by Acorn TVGiphy
I have less than zero interest in all of this.
The times do change fast don't they? Everything we think we'll know about the future is usually false.
How much of history is littered with things we thought we'd never be able to do without?
Now we watch movies in our palms. (Instead of theaters.) We send millions of dollars through the air. (Instead of withdrawing in person, or a check.) And we no longer need pennies. (Basically)
Who would have thought?
These were all going to be life essentials.
But generation by generation, the obsolescence takes over.
RedditorVictorPumpensteinwanted to talk about what truths were hidden until it was too late for each group as we aged.
"What is the biggest lie sold to your generation?"
Beepers. I was told my beeper would be forever. Alas...
You Still Here?
"Gen X-er here... we were told that the boomers would eventually retire. Still waiting for that to happen while rapidly approaching retirement age myself."
drsfmdSeth Meyers Lol GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy
"Don’t act up in class Johnny, It will go on your PERMANENT RECORD!!"
"I worked in records for a public school board many years ago. The only thing colleges ever requested was transcripts and IEPs if a student had one. However, the police would request full disciplinary records of someone was going to be hired. And unless a student had a disciplinary hearing at some point, most records other than transcripts are destroyed after 7 years."
"The war on drugs."
"Poverty and terror won theirs, too. Turns out, declaring war on a concept without attacking the societal roots of the problem is just a way to funnel more money into the military-industrial complex."
"Shout out to pharmaceutical companies for winning the war on drugs."
instead of cardboard...
"Plastic recycling. I remember when grocery stores went from paper bags to plastic because 'they're recyclable!' Literally everything else started coming wrapped in a ton of plastic (instead of cardboard) because it was recyclable. Single use plastics were great, because we'd just recycle the plastic, and use it forever! Turns out, it was just cheaper, and recycling had nothing to do with it. Most of that plastic can't be recycled anyway."
"Fat is bad, sugar is good."
"This is why America has an obesity epidemic. Even now, older generations tout the health benefits of low fat things, without bothering to look at sugar contents. High sugar processed foods that happen to be low in fat destroyed multiple generations. Thankfully I think Gen Z might be the turnaround. Older generations are pretty messed up."
"Medicare and social security will protect you. Based on how things are going, anyone with 30 years or more before retirement better have strong backup plans."
iteracoMedicine Pills GIF by FergieGiphy
Oh Medicare and social security. What. A. Disaster. We are in trouble.
"You will always have to write in cursive."
"I hated those cursive books and being 10 and still couldn't figure it out. My sister a year behind me never had to write cursive. I firmly believe my year was the last year to deal with cursive. This was back in 2012-2013."
chonkettesealtake notes GIF by US National ArchivesGiphy
"Climb the corporate ladder."
"It's not a ladder, it's a pyramid. Only one person can be CEO, a handful can be executives, a bigger clump can be in some form of middle management, but the majority will always be 'individual contributors' - what an amazingly corporate term."
"You're often better off with an in-demand skill set that you can shop from company to company. Unless you enjoy fighting and scrabbling and climbing over people to keep getting promoted. Sure, you may have crappy bosses, but even the CEO has to go in front of the board and be told everything that's going wrong."
“If you don’t go to college, you’ll die broke and alone on the street.”
"I wish i hadn't been pushed so hard to go to Uni at 18. I wasn't ready yet and i didn't know what I wanted to do with my life yet. Asking a 16 year old what degree and vocation he wants is just a bad way of doing it!"
"My principal in high school was upset at me because I wasn't going to college. He told me multiple times that if I don't, then I am just throwing away my intelligence. I never went to college because it just sounded miserable and expensive. I worked a few different jobs after high school and learned a lot then started my own business. Glad I never went to college."
"Work hard for your company and they will take care of you."
whatintheactualfethSeason 1 Lol GIF by NBCGiphy
So much changes over each generation. How will we ever learn?
In this day and age of sexual freedom and experimentation, why would you cheat?
It makes absolutely no sense.
Unless, the act itself is part of the fun.
No matter your decision, let's pinpoint the moment we know we're heading down that path.
Everybody can name the times you feel it in your gut.
You know it's crossed a line.
Redditorcrabpinchingmyanuswanted to hear about the moments when we all begin to fall short of fidelity.
"Redditors, where does cheating in a relationship start for you?"
You always know when it's wrong. At least I always did. That's why is called cheating.
"The sneaking around. The second you start plotting to do something behind my back. You're violating the trust of the relationship."
WarkitzSheila Canning Love GIF by Neighbours (Official TV Show account)Giphy
"Honestly it's about intentions more than anything. If my SO started pursuing someone romantically that's cheating - doesn't matter if it's lovey dovey texting or f**king. If my SO was at a party and a drunk person kissed him suddenly against his wishes, that's not cheating."
"At the end of the day it comes down to them wanting to be with another person and they aren't being honest about it. The polite thing to do, even though it's painful and hard and sad, is to break up. Breaking up is never crappier than cheating."
"If you would be unwilling to tell your partner about an interaction, then it's probably time to start thinking about what you're doing."
"Yeah I think the two basic litmus tests are..."
"1- Would you tell them/do it in front of them?"
"2- Would you be okay with it if they did the same thing?"
"If the answer is yes to both, it’s probably fine. If it’s no to either, then at minimum you’re on dangerous ground."
"It depends on what each couple would consider to be off limits. A good guide is if you're doing something you would hide from your partner or wouldn't do it if they were in the room with you, then that's cheating. It can range from having sex with someone else, to simply flirting."
"Lies. It always starts with lies. Be it texts or snaps, if one of us have to lie or hide, it's wrong and should not happen."
notyourusualladyA Lie Is A LieGiphy
It's always a lie in the beginning. Don't lie... it's a Commandment.
"If you wouldn't want your partner to know, it's cheating. I wouldn't flirt with someone else in front of my partner, so I don't flirt with people when he's not around either."
kellogg888Pondering Anthony Anderson GIF by BETGiphy
"As cheesy as it sounds, it starts with your motive, intention, and conscience. I think there's a clear cut difference between physical cheating and mental/emotional cheating, but it all relates to your honest motive, intention, and conscience. For example, there isn't anything inherently wrong with texting with another person if you are married or dating."
"But if you know in your heart that you are texting or engaging in conversation that makes you feel guilty or it would make your partner upset, you may be doing something wrong, even if you technically did not cheat. If at any point you are justifying your actions or defending your actions/feelings/thoughts from a technical perspective, you may be at the start of doing something wrong."
"Cheating starts at lying, even by omission. I am okay with private conversations, meeting people she wants to meet, going away on business trips or going out and coming back late at night. But lying to me about it or about what happened? Or simply not telling me something I don't want to hear? That's cheating."
"'I will go out tonight, to see people you don't know and talk about things you don't care about': we are in the clear, it is fine."
"'I saw X and Y last night at their place': if I know for sure that it is not true, then there is some cheating involved."
"It only works if you are not a creep, or even jealous. There needs to be mutual trust and respect. When trust and respect are gone, the relationship is gone too."
"The intent. For me, an ex of mine that would later cheat on me started a tinder profile in which she claimed she "just wanted to find friends" and she certainly found quite a few of them. Obviously, she didn't just want friends. It could be as small as reaching out to an ex to say happy birthday, but most people have the intent to do something well before it is executed."
"If there’s a grey area, it’s cheating. If you know they will be upset, it’s cheating. If you have to hide it/lie/omit details. It’s cheating."
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There is never a good reason to cheat. Once you know it's starting... fess up.