Food Lovers Reveal The Deadliest Edible Weapons They'd Pick For An All Out Food Fight
Food Lovers Reveal The Deadliest Edible Weapons They'd Pick For An All Out Food Fight
[rebelmouse-image 18349494 is_animated_gif=We've all been dying to start one, as per every elementary school movie from the 90s. And once we do, it's war. In war, one has to strategize. What's the best approach to beating the enemy?
Redditor lylekay asked:
What would be your weapon of choice in a food fight to the death?
Here are people's evil choices.
Durian Durian
[rebelmouse-image 18349496 is_animated_gif=On average 8 people a year are killed by falling durians, or something along that line. Durian is the one true battle fruit.
EVOO
[rebelmouse-image 18348859 is_animated_gif=A bottle of olive oil. When the enemy charges at me with their projectile apples I'll make the arena slippery. When they slip and fall I'll break the bottle over their head and stab them with the remaining shards.
Napalm Sugar
[rebelmouse-image 18349497 is_animated_gif=To the death?
A pot of melted sugar. As a professional chef, I've seen that sh*t do some serious damage.
Octopunishment
[rebelmouse-image 18349498 is_animated_gif=My dad told me that grandma used to have this long dried octopus tentacle that she used to whack my dad and my uncle on the buttocks when they were up to no good. Apparently it's from an old octopus that got too big and too tough to eat so it became a weapon of mass punishment.
Deliciously Deadly
[rebelmouse-image 18349499 is_animated_gif=A leg of prosciutto. That hardened piece of meat and bone would be the perfect bludgeoning weapon
Revenge
[rebelmouse-image 18349500 is_animated_gif=A crate of chocolate milks.
It was 10th grade, and I was in the first food fight of my life. I was a square and didn't wanna get in trouble, so my friend and I began making our way across the cafeteria towards the exit. Suddenly I look up, and in slow motion, something is arching through the air, right towards me. It's a little carton if chocolate milk. And it's open.
My friend says he still recalls vividly the look of surprise and disgust on my face as that milk carton struck me, and milk splashed all over my head and the hood of my favorite sweatshirt. He maintains it was one of the funniest things he'd ever seen.
So in honor of that memory, it seems only fitting that I take up the mantle of chocolate milk caster the next time I fight with food.
AKA Baguette
[rebelmouse-image 18349502 is_animated_gif=I'd tie a pineapple to a French loaf of bread with spaghetti as a makeshift mace.
Sharp Cereal
[rebelmouse-image 18349503 is_animated_gif=Captain Crunch. Prepare to be eviscerated.
Someone Call Steinbeck
[rebelmouse-image 18349504 is_animated_gif=The grapes of wrath.
Bugs Bunny Warfare
[rebelmouse-image 18349505 is_animated_gif=A carrot as a "stabbing weapon". A watermelon for the size
Just Cruel
[rebelmouse-image 18349457 is_animated_gif=Supersoaker filled with ghost pepper water
More Napalm
[rebelmouse-image 18349506 is_animated_gif=Molten cheese should be effective as napalm.
Chemical Warfare
[rebelmouse-image 18349507 is_animated_gif=Peanuts because my chances of the other person being allergic to them is pretty decent.
Back To Baguettes
[rebelmouse-image 18349508 is_animated_gif=Doritos stuck in a baguette to make a makeshift spiked bat.
Cocktail
[rebelmouse-image 18349510 is_animated_gif=Vodka bottle turned into Molotov.
Thanks-Taking
[rebelmouse-image 18349511 is_animated_gif=Endless Buckets upon buckets of boiling gravy, everyone will need to get high ground or face the boiling gravy, gravy can turn most bread weapons into mush, and to top it all off I will have dinner with a show.
Combined Forces
[rebelmouse-image 18349512 is_animated_gif=A christingle - it's got everything. The orange could do some damage if you throw it hard enough. There are toothpicks which could cause some bleeding. And, to top it all off, the lit candle could be used to burn someone.
Tradition
[rebelmouse-image 18349513 is_animated_gif=Christmas fruitcake. Especially if it were still shrink-wrapped. They're dense and compact. Easy to throw hard and heavy enough to do some damage.
A New Crusade
[rebelmouse-image 18346597 is_animated_gif=I would own a zucchini sword and using it, I will create a whole army of children who do as I command out of fear of being hit with my zucchini (sounds bad). These children will annihilate all others in their paths because I have so many in my army and they can easily be replaced because there is never a shortage of children afraid of zucchini. Every couple hundred children I will have one being force fed gross amounts of spinach until they are 6x bigger and stronger than the rest and these children would do all the heavy hitting and smashing down of castle walls. Oh and my name will be The Zucc(hini).
Sauce Boss
[rebelmouse-image 18349514 is_animated_gif=Do Sauces count in a foodfight? Especially if they are made from fruits? I would get a spoon and flick one of those super hot hot-sauces at people. Some people wouldn't mind of course but there are some absurdly hot sauces out there that most people would basically be screaming in pain especially if they got it in their mouth/eyes. I'm talking about 2 million Scoville unit sauces.
America the beautiful.
So much to see. So much to experience.
Just because we don't have exotic oceans and ancient history doesn't mean there isn't majesty to take in.
There are many vacations to put together.
And now we don't have to use a paper map to plan.
Our apps and GPS have it all planned out.
Redditor driedkitten wanted to compare notes about the greatest ways to see the USA, so they asked:
"Where is the most beautiful place in the United States?"
So far the cliffs of California is my favorite part of the US.
The Falls
niagara falls GIFGiphy"Subjective of course, but Crater Lake is certainly a sight to behold."
KaboodleMoon
"My home state of Oregon is full of beautiful places, South Umpqua falls, Illinois River, and Multnomah falls. Are some favorites."
jlp120145
Oh Hoh...
"A tie for Acadia, Hoh rainforest, and Rainier in the fall."
ParkLaineNext
"I was going to say Acadia. It's very underrated for some reason. My mom's friend by coincidence ended up being my English professor in college and we went on a trip to see family in ME. We stopped at Acadia for a day and she said it reminded her a lot of her visit to Greece."
NunChuckNorris007
"Hoh rainforest is absolutely devastatingly beautiful. Hiked the whole Hoh river trail when I was 17 and it's still near the top of the list for my favorite things I've ever done."
Hal9000_Red_Eye
In Awe
"Glacier national park. I was continuously in awe that the place was real life."
StrebLab
"The vistas of this road, on a motorcycle, were beyond breathtaking to experience. Would 100% do it again. Being on a bike allowed for stops at the waterfalls where there was no room for vehicles to pull over, and the views from the tunnels under the road were supernatural."
tastygrrrl
The Road Ahead
"There is a stretch of the Navajo reservation where there is no cell service, AM or FM radio reception. The road stretches before you for miles surrounded by red rocks touching blue sky. The buzzing undercurrent of modern connectivity fades away and your brain can be truly still."
tulleandtiaras42
"We did a little unscheduled off-roading in that area when we came to a road closed barrier. A Navajo couple pulled up alongside us while we pondered the dirt road heading roughly in the direction we wanted to go and assured us it was passable. Really lonely place... but wonderful."
KaleidoscopeWeird310
On a Clear Day
Mountain GIF by Sunshine VillageGiphy"Mount Rainier."
WWDB
"If I stand right at the doorjamb of my front door on a clear day, I have a beautiful view. I owned this house for 15 years before I figured that out. You can't see it from any other position in the doorway, or if you're outside."
Wise_Ad_4816
Mountains are hot. That is all.
See the Country
Happy Dance GIF by PLAYMOBILGiphy"Depends on what you’re looking for. The United States is a big place."
"For me - Hawaii is hard to beat."
Own-Willingness-3935
Beautiful scenery...
"Zion National Park is the most well-known place in Utah. But my entire state is an outdoorsman's paradise. LOTs of beautiful scenery in both the northern and southern parts of the state."
nekor18670
"Totally!!! And it’s very different. I personally prefer Southern Utah because the red rocks make me feel like I’m on Mars. But I grew up in the salt lake valley, so the mountains lost a lot of their majesty. But if I’m being honest, I miss them terribly."
Bye-sexual-band-n3rd
Smell the old growth
"I’m incredibly biased, but the most beautiful place is the California redwoods. Drive up 101, and then detour towards Petrolia. There is absolutely nothing like it. Roll down your windows and drive 35mph. Smell the old growth. Stop at the pull out. Take a small hike. It’s worth it."
Altril2010
"Yes, 100%. My brother lives in McKinleyville and I am going to see him the end of April. Can't wait. It's my happy place. They are like the Grand Canyon and Niagara Falls... you have to see them to believe them. Those redwoods are something else!"
strongy78
Utopia
"Yosemite! You drive thru the tunnel and come out the other side. Looks like heaven/Utopia."
Socalrdb
"Did a hike in Yosemite on January 1 last year. A spectacular way to start the year. I had seen photos of it, seen it in movies, watched countless videos on Youtube about it but -nothing- prepares you for the sight of El Cap as you turn that corner. I was very nearly moved to tears."
ThrustersToFull
Amazing
Episode 1 Boat GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy"The Shenandoah Valley. Its an amazing place if you're an outdoorsman. Hiking, fishing, hunting, bird watching, camping."
homoco4396
All the wonders of the world. I may have to check all of these out.
What did we miss? Let us know in the comments below.
Humans really know how to waste a buck... or millions.
We spend so much on superfluous items it's ridiculous.
Do we need ten of these?
Gym memberships can be hundreds of dollars a month yet there are DVDs and apps that show you cheaper ways to do it from home.
Life doesn't have to cost this much.
Redditor bluscorp91 wanted to hear about the things we really need to financially evaluate, so they asked:
"Which everyday item do people waste too much money on?"
I waste on takeout. I can't help it. I'm me.
Go to the Fountain
Scared 30 Rock GIF by HULUGiphy"Water."
brakjeeptj
"If you have safe tap water witch most people in Europe, Australia, and US/Canada has you can save thousands on water. One gallon costs under a dollar from the tap, and one gallon from the store will cost 5 dollars or more."
mincraftpro27
Tea at Home
"Takeout coffees."
LucyVialli
"What I don’t get is how people have TIME for that in the morning."
"There’s a coffee stand place by me that consistently has a huge line that sometimes blocks traffic. The few times I have been there on days off I have waited over 20 mins and that wasn’t even during rush hour."
"Like who has time to spend 20-40 mins before work in line getting coffee?!?"
pooponacandle
Skins
"Fortnite."
anyma6
"The skins are cool as sh*t, I'll admit it, but damn, $20 per skin? People are out here claiming it's fine because it's a free game, but $20 per skin means if you have 3 skins, you could've gotten a completely different game all together. And most kids have hundreds of skins. My coworkers son spends all of his allowance, Christmas, and birthday money on Fortnite skins."
"He's claimed that his son has spent over $1200 on Fortnite. That's f**king insane."
"My buddies are full grown men and they buy like one skin ever 4-5 days, it's crazy. They spend anywhere from $80-$120 a month on Fortnite. I literally don't understand at all. It's an entire bill to pay every month. I play it with them from time to time and only have like three skins. I still feel like I spent too much on that."
B3RS3RK_CR0W
Vroom
"Cars. I don't know how so many people can afford the mortgage on cars that cost twice the average annual salary around here. And they are legion."
"If you want to save money, you drive a 10+ year old beater. It is paid for, you will have to repair it every year for a couple of hundred bucks, but the cost per mile is a fraction of that for a new Polestar 2 or Volvo XC60."
"I'm guessing I am seeing the caste that lucked out on the housing market."
Derpygoras
For Good
Mothers Day Netflix GIF by Grace and FrankieGiphy"Netflix."
OptimumRedditor
"10 bucks a month is worth it."
RandomBloke2021
"Netflix prime Hulu, Appletv, Disney+ and all that crap that we can just find free on the internet free. Hell no I'm not paying for 100 different subscription services."
gracie4questions
There are way too many options. YouTube is cheaper.
MOOOO!!!
Stone Cold Reaction GIF by WWEGiphy"My Family spends A LOT of money on milk, since my entire family drink like 2 bottles a day total. Not with coffee or anything, just plain milk."
MonkeeBoi123
All that milk... I hope they change the flavors.
Last Call
Happy Hour Drinking GIFGiphy"Alcohol."
orbittheorb
"Buying alcohol at the bars. Seriously, downtown Chicago, 'Can I please have 2 rum & cokes and a Bud Light?'"
"'Ok that will be $35.'"
"Forget that mess."
Angel--Wonderland
A Communication Must
"Phones."
DrLycFerno
"I'm going to disagree since you left your reply so basic. Now if you buy the newest phone at launch, and repeat that every new release, yes that is wasteful. I bought a 1 year old model 4 years ago and it's still fine. If it turned into a brick tonight, I would drop like $800 on a 1 year old model and be good for several more years. That isn't wasteful."
somedude456
Need a Roof
"Rent."
abby_normally
"If our economy wasn't trash right now, I'd say buy your own place. I rented for 3 months then bought... renting is like flushing your money and any potential home equity (God I hate that word these days) down the toilet."
Runner_Girl1217
"It’s too expensive but unless you’re living outside your means the money is not wasted. Shelter is pretty important, it’s right up there with food and water."
HutSutRawlson
Clean Up
Toilet Paper Poop GIF by Paper PooGiphy"Toilet paper. Wash your butt with water, and you can save tons of toilet paper."
"Never could understand what it is with toilets with nowhere to wash, and walking around with chocolate caked holes."
lefttheovenoff
Next Day Problems
"Surprised no one else has said this. Throwing away left over food instead of eating it later. I've worked in the restaurant industry for years and it's appalling the amount of food that gets thrown away that would be perfectly fine the next day. I constantly pack my leftovers and eat them for lunch."
Angel--Wonderland
We really need to evaluate our spending.
They say ignorance is bliss, and there is truth to that statement.
Whether it involves trying a new fashion fad, type of food, or starting a new activity that spikes your endorphins, it's to go back to the way things were prior to experiencing them.
It's like opening Pandora's Box. The joy of discovery is exciting, but it also has the potential to consume you.
Curious to hear from strangers online who were unable to get the toothpaste back into the tube, Redditor Kapuishon88 asked:
"What’s something you can’t live without once you’ve tried it?"
Computer-related activity is addictive.
Gaming
"Video games."
"Started in 1983 before I had reliable memories of anything. It's been a daily obsession since then."
– Kneejerk_Nihilist
Decades-Long Obsession
"Original Zelda. Level 1. 32 years ago. Resistance was futile."
– inarog
Online Activity
"Fast internet."
– Pufferfishgrimm
Opening Up The Periphery
"A second monitor."
– Gaby07
The following involve the things that make life easier.
Selective Hearing
"For me it’s noise canceling headphones."
– Kapuishon88
Wages
"A decent income."
– [deleted]
Preference For The Dark
"Blackout curtains for me. The noise-cancelling headphones of light."
– _CPR_
Sheer Comfort
"Quality underwear / socks."
– thevectorvictor
It's a hygienic thing.
The Perfect Backsplash
"A bidet."
– walkswithelias
The Backup
"Was gonna say the same. I explain to people that once you use one, you'll feel like a peasent when you wipe your a** with TP."
– walkswithelias
For Multi-Use
"Baby wipes. Damn, they are good at cleaning up so many things! The kids are 10 and 15 now and we still buy them by the case. Clean the counters, clean your shoes, get stains out of your clothes, bring them with you when you go eat ribs. Better than a napkin. Clean the table. Clean the desk. Clean the island. Wipe up the spill."
– ScienceMomCO
I have to agree about bidets being a life-changing discovery.
Ever since I was a kid going to visit my relatives in Japan and noticing virtually every toilet having a built-in spray 'n wash button, I was like, "Why doesn't America have these wondrous devices installed in every toilet?"
Not only is it super satisfying, it saves trees.
Most of us love animals and take stock of other people's pets. Some people have a better chance of remembering another person's pet's name than the person themselves.
Part of that allure has to do with the fun and creative names that many people come up with for their pets.
The Redditor, who has since deleted their account, asked:
"What is the best pet's name you've ever heard?"
The Autobots Would Be Proud
"I had a friend once who had a bunny named Hoptimus Prime."
- nellirn
Extra Hoppy Beer
"I live in northern Colorado which has a pretty big craft beer scene. One of our biggest and most popular breweries is Odell Brewing."
"One of my coworkers named her dog Odell because he had three legs which, in her words, made him extra hoppy."
- fiveironfreshy
At the Race Track
"I once heard of a race horse named Thunderbritches!"
- whiskey_weasel_
From the 'Tragedy of Julius Caesar'
"I had a friend who had a 14-foot python as a pet named Julius Squeezer."
- TSchwifty35
An Ode to Eminem
"My wife's fish was named Swim Shady."
- josephexotic
Such a Giant, Cuddly Dog
"An Old English Sheepdog named 'Woolly.'"
- Back2Bach
Not Like the Movies
"My cat's name, he's named 'Gremlin'."
"A lot of people believe the movies were the inspiration, I just wanted to give my cat a weird but cute name."
- EldritchDWX
What a Tongue-Twister
"My guinea pig was Wanda Wilhelmina Wobblebottom."
- 84dg3r0u50n3
Tiny But Mighty
"A Redditor once posted a photo of their little, black kitten named Admiral Anchovies."
"That is all."
- Voyeurism_Bot
Social Creatures
"A little pug named Barbecue, or perhaps a corgi mutt with eyebrows named Party Time."
- BaronMatfei
Adorable Stage Names
"I still love the name Kitty Purry (Katy Perry's cat)."
- pirate_elle
Historic References
"Someone in the 'backyardchickens' subReddit named one of their girls Attila the Hen."
- dontforgetthel?be
A Name Upgrade
"A friend of a friend had a cat named Snack."
"Eventually, Snack had a few too many snacks, and they started calling him Meal."
- JuRoJa
Sounds Like a Big Boy
"A French bulldog called Tankerbell."
- blackday44
A Fair Question
"Between Chairman Meow and Benito Meowsolini, uh, there are a lotta cats with dictator names. What's next, Meowseph Stalin? Kitler?"
"Then again, cats are all wannabe dictators..."
- centaurquestions
Not only are some of these names hilarious, but these pet owners were on high creative alert when they named their furry loved ones.