Food Lovers Reveal The Deadliest Edible Weapons They'd Pick For An All Out Food Fight

Food Lovers Reveal The Deadliest Edible Weapons They'd Pick For An All Out Food Fight

Food Lovers Reveal The Deadliest Edible Weapons They'd Pick For An All Out Food Fight

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We've all been dying to start one, as per every elementary school movie from the 90s. And once we do, it's war. In war, one has to strategize. What's the best approach to beating the enemy?

Redditor lylekay asked:

What would be your weapon of choice in a food fight to the death?

Here are people's evil choices.

Durian Durian

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On average 8 people a year are killed by falling durians, or something along that line. Durian is the one true battle fruit.

EVOO

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A bottle of olive oil. When the enemy charges at me with their projectile apples I'll make the arena slippery. When they slip and fall I'll break the bottle over their head and stab them with the remaining shards.

Napalm Sugar

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To the death?

A pot of melted sugar. As a professional chef, I've seen that sh*t do some serious damage.

Octopunishment

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My dad told me that grandma used to have this long dried octopus tentacle that she used to whack my dad and my uncle on the buttocks when they were up to no good. Apparently it's from an old octopus that got too big and too tough to eat so it became a weapon of mass punishment.

Deliciously Deadly

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A leg of prosciutto. That hardened piece of meat and bone would be the perfect bludgeoning weapon

Revenge

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A crate of chocolate milks.

It was 10th grade, and I was in the first food fight of my life. I was a square and didn't wanna get in trouble, so my friend and I began making our way across the cafeteria towards the exit. Suddenly I look up, and in slow motion, something is arching through the air, right towards me. It's a little carton if chocolate milk. And it's open.

My friend says he still recalls vividly the look of surprise and disgust on my face as that milk carton struck me, and milk splashed all over my head and the hood of my favorite sweatshirt. He maintains it was one of the funniest things he'd ever seen.

So in honor of that memory, it seems only fitting that I take up the mantle of chocolate milk caster the next time I fight with food.

AKA Baguette

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I'd tie a pineapple to a French loaf of bread with spaghetti as a makeshift mace.

Sharp Cereal

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Captain Crunch. Prepare to be eviscerated.

Someone Call Steinbeck

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The grapes of wrath.

Bugs Bunny Warfare

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A carrot as a "stabbing weapon". A watermelon for the size

Just Cruel

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Supersoaker filled with ghost pepper water

More Napalm

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Molten cheese should be effective as napalm.

Chemical Warfare

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Peanuts because my chances of the other person being allergic to them is pretty decent.

Back To Baguettes

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Doritos stuck in a baguette to make a makeshift spiked bat.

Cocktail

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Vodka bottle turned into Molotov.

Thanks-Taking

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Endless Buckets upon buckets of boiling gravy, everyone will need to get high ground or face the boiling gravy, gravy can turn most bread weapons into mush, and to top it all off I will have dinner with a show.

Combined Forces

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A christingle - it's got everything. The orange could do some damage if you throw it hard enough. There are toothpicks which could cause some bleeding. And, to top it all off, the lit candle could be used to burn someone.

Tradition

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Christmas fruitcake. Especially if it were still shrink-wrapped. They're dense and compact. Easy to throw hard and heavy enough to do some damage.

A New Crusade

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I would own a zucchini sword and using it, I will create a whole army of children who do as I command out of fear of being hit with my zucchini (sounds bad). These children will annihilate all others in their paths because I have so many in my army and they can easily be replaced because there is never a shortage of children afraid of zucchini. Every couple hundred children I will have one being force fed gross amounts of spinach until they are 6x bigger and stronger than the rest and these children would do all the heavy hitting and smashing down of castle walls. Oh and my name will be The Zucc(hini).

Sauce Boss

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Do Sauces count in a foodfight? Especially if they are made from fruits? I would get a spoon and flick one of those super hot hot-sauces at people. Some people wouldn't mind of course but there are some absurdly hot sauces out there that most people would basically be screaming in pain especially if they got it in their mouth/eyes. I'm talking about 2 million Scoville unit sauces.

People Break Down The Most Beautiful Places To Visit In The United States
Photo by Caleb Jones on Unsplash

America the beautiful.

So much to see. So much to experience.

Just because we don't have exotic oceans and ancient history doesn't mean there isn't majesty to take in.

There are many vacations to put together.

And now we don't have to use a paper map to plan.

Our apps and GPS have it all planned out.

Redditor driedkitten wanted to compare notes about the greatest ways to see the USA, so they asked:

"Where is the most beautiful place in the United States?"

So far the cliffs of California is my favorite part of the US.

The Falls

niagara falls GIFGiphy

"Subjective of course, but Crater Lake is certainly a sight to behold."

KaboodleMoon

"My home state of Oregon is full of beautiful places, South Umpqua falls, Illinois River, and Multnomah falls. Are some favorites."

jlp120145

Oh Hoh...

"A tie for Acadia, Hoh rainforest, and Rainier in the fall."

ParkLaineNext

"I was going to say Acadia. It's very underrated for some reason. My mom's friend by coincidence ended up being my English professor in college and we went on a trip to see family in ME. We stopped at Acadia for a day and she said it reminded her a lot of her visit to Greece."

NunChuckNorris007

"Hoh rainforest is absolutely devastatingly beautiful. Hiked the whole Hoh river trail when I was 17 and it's still near the top of the list for my favorite things I've ever done."

Hal9000_Red_Eye

In Awe

"Glacier national park. I was continuously in awe that the place was real life."

StrebLab

"The vistas of this road, on a motorcycle, were beyond breathtaking to experience. Would 100% do it again. Being on a bike allowed for stops at the waterfalls where there was no room for vehicles to pull over, and the views from the tunnels under the road were supernatural."

tastygrrrl

The Road Ahead

"There is a stretch of the Navajo reservation where there is no cell service, AM or FM radio reception. The road stretches before you for miles surrounded by red rocks touching blue sky. The buzzing undercurrent of modern connectivity fades away and your brain can be truly still."

tulleandtiaras42

"We did a little unscheduled off-roading in that area when we came to a road closed barrier. A Navajo couple pulled up alongside us while we pondered the dirt road heading roughly in the direction we wanted to go and assured us it was passable. Really lonely place... but wonderful."

KaleidoscopeWeird310

On a Clear Day

Mountain GIF by Sunshine VillageGiphy

"Mount Rainier."

WWDB

"If I stand right at the doorjamb of my front door on a clear day, I have a beautiful view. I owned this house for 15 years before I figured that out. You can't see it from any other position in the doorway, or if you're outside."

Wise_Ad_4816

Mountains are hot. That is all.

See the Country

Happy Dance GIF by PLAYMOBILGiphy

"Depends on what you’re looking for. The United States is a big place."

"For me - Hawaii is hard to beat."

Own-Willingness-3935

Beautiful scenery...

"Zion National Park is the most well-known place in Utah. But my entire state is an outdoorsman's paradise. LOTs of beautiful scenery in both the northern and southern parts of the state."

nekor18670

"Totally!!! And it’s very different. I personally prefer Southern Utah because the red rocks make me feel like I’m on Mars. But I grew up in the salt lake valley, so the mountains lost a lot of their majesty. But if I’m being honest, I miss them terribly."

Bye-sexual-band-n3rd

Smell the old growth

"I’m incredibly biased, but the most beautiful place is the California redwoods. Drive up 101, and then detour towards Petrolia. There is absolutely nothing like it. Roll down your windows and drive 35mph. Smell the old growth. Stop at the pull out. Take a small hike. It’s worth it."

Altril2010

"Yes, 100%. My brother lives in McKinleyville and I am going to see him the end of April. Can't wait. It's my happy place. They are like the Grand Canyon and Niagara Falls... you have to see them to believe them. Those redwoods are something else!"

strongy78

Utopia

"Yosemite! You drive thru the tunnel and come out the other side. Looks like heaven/Utopia."

Socalrdb

"Did a hike in Yosemite on January 1 last year. A spectacular way to start the year. I had seen photos of it, seen it in movies, watched countless videos on Youtube about it but -nothing- prepares you for the sight of El Cap as you turn that corner. I was very nearly moved to tears."

ThrustersToFull

Amazing

Episode 1 Boat GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy

"The Shenandoah Valley. Its an amazing place if you're an outdoorsman. Hiking, fishing, hunting, bird watching, camping."

homoco4396

All the wonders of the world. I may have to check all of these out.

What did we miss? Let us know in the comments below.

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