Florists Describe The Strangest Thing They've Ever Had To Write On A Card For A Customer
December 28 | 2020
| Image by Annie Spratt from Pixabay |
I had the pleasure of meeting a florist last year who told me all about his job. He worked in this quaint little flower shop in the middle of the Hudson Valley. I went there. It was lovely, soothing. It seemed like a relaxing place to work. It was. It was funny, too. He told me all about the ridiculous cards he had to write for people who placed orders. I'm pretty sure he knows who everyone in town is cheating on their spouses with.
After Redditor urgent-kazoo asked the online community, "What's the strangest thing you've had to write on a card for a customer?" other florists told their stories.
"Normally..."
Oddest is how commonly we get asked to "just write something nice." Normally this is from guys sending flowers to their wives, like dude, I don't know her, you really should be better at this than me!
"During college..."
During college, I delivered flowers for a florist and wrote most of the attached cards.
The oddest message I still remember was:
"Hope these delight, I'll see you tonight.
Bottoms UP, Buttercup!"
"I had a customer..."
I had a customer come in 30 minutes before we closed and ask me to throw together a beautiful bouquet of roses and sunflowers and lilies and the card said, "Sorry I hit your dog."
"Needless to say..."
I had a customer order flowers to someone congratulating them on their new tumor and wishing them a protracted and painful death. Needless to say, I refused to accept the order and threatened to quit when my boss tried to force the issue. Fortunately, the owner was in the shop, heard the ruckus, and immediately overruled my boss.
"In a very wealthy community..."
I AM a florist, here are some I remember.
"No one expects the Spanish Inquisition"
Had a guy buy flowers for his wife AND mistress in one go, wrote the same card for both
In a very wealthy community I worked in there was a swingers party every year called "Band Camp." These people would send $150 arrangements to each other with these weird messages like "Cant wait for you to show me your flute skills at Band Camp" or "Thanks for coming over with Frank to 'tune up' my piano for Band Camp." We could not figure out what was going on! I eventually met a dog walker in that town who had been invited to Band Camp, and the richies gather up all the attractive landscapers, dog walkers, housekeepers, etc and invite them to Band Camp (one of the estates throws a big party with bands) and everyone tries to f*** the help. I was slightly offended I never got invited.
A lot of sappy sweet s***. We do read them and discuss any unusual ones amongst ourselves. What I don't think a lot of people realize is that we get allllll the dirt on people. We are there for births, weddings, graduations, deaths.
"I also used to have old men come in..."
I worked at a florist for a year or so as a teenager. Some funeral arrangements had REALLY weird notes attached. I remember one that just said "Sorry mom died. I won't be at the funeral so these flowers represent me. Tell Dad." It was obviously a kid (adult child I'm assuming) who wasn't too crazy about their mother.
There was one, "Happy birthday, and never call me again." Sending flowers definitely screams "never call me again," amirite?
I also used to have old men come in and buy bouquets for their dead wives graves, and old women, too. That was just so sad. I always took time to talk to them.
"Three things stand out..."
I worked at a flower shop that occasionally did gift baskets. Three things stand out.
One, someone ordered a basket of dead flowers sent to someone. I'm not sure why.
Two, someone sent somebody else a junk food basket. We did gourmet food, Christmas food, candy type gift baskets. They wanted a junk food basket and paid for it.
Number three doesn't really fit into the thread, but it is a great story that the owner told. Sometime in the 1970s, one of the big mafia bosses in the area was killed. This particular shop did the flowers. The flowers were incredibly extravagant, expensive, and so forth. The 'family' guys came into his office and paid him something like $10,000 in cash for the flowers.
"I have a florist friend..."
I have a florist friend who once had to write the words... "Flowers so your baby will be a girl." On a card for a bouquet for a pregnant woman.
"Some cards..."
We do fulfillment for an online flower company where we ship out about 100 orders per day. The message card is automatically printed. Every now and then i'll scan some of the messages and some of them are very interesting.
Some cards get very sexual. Like graphic. About the other night they had. Or what they love about a person's private parts. I guess they figure no one else would be reading these. 99.9% of the time your message would not be read.
Lots of people apologizing. I specifically recall someone apologizing for cheating.
"Nice life"
Not me, but my mum.
She had a lady come in, who picked out some beautiful roses, and she had to write "F*ck you, Tod. Have a nice life with that wh*re."
"Gucci"
I'm not a florist, but as a cake decorator I had a mother come up to us and ask us to write "Catz is Gucci, crotchfruit" on a cake.
It was a basic Valentine's day cake, with the whole cutesy heart theming for the time of the year. The mother said it was for her kids, whom she calls her "crotchfruit" and she didn't seem to understand it was cringey until all the decorators passed it around not wanting to write it.
"Hurts to miss you"
"I wanna write I miss you on a rock and throw it at your face so you know how much it hurts to miss you. Love you" laughed so hard at that one I had to show everyone in the shop.
"Karma"
"Karma is a b!tch. You deserve it." Sent to an ex-boss. Just got a cancer diagnosis. They tried finding out who sent it, but he had so many enemies
"Ex-best friend"
Not a florist but I sent dead flowers to an ex of mine. The note said something along the lines of "you really like to f*ck things that are dead to me, so have fun with these" for context he f*cked my ex-best friend.
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Some jobs really don't serve a purpose to society, or they are a relic of times past that society has yet to say goodbye to.
<p>We don't mean artists, of course: artists are essential to the growth and comfort of society. No, we are talking about those little jobs inserted here and there that don't seem to have a purpose to serve any longer. </p><p>Redditor u/thisisappealing asked:</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/mm5010/whats_the_most_unnecessary_job_to_exist/" target="_blank">What's the most unnecessary job to exist?</a><br></p><p>Here were some of those answers.</p><p><br></p>
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Spam Spam
<p>The person whose job it is to send physical spam mail. Nobody even reads it anymore.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Random_Fangirl888/" target="_blank">Random_Fangirl888</a></p><p>My wife went to med school and her student loans are all federal and are at 0% interest and are in forbearance right now. At least once a week she gets a letter from SoFi to refinance her loans which would make her ineligible for any sort of loan forgiveness or federal assistance. So much wasted paper and postage sending those letters.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/schu2470/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">schu2470</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_36" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Stuck In The Middle W You
<p>In my experience: A large percentage of middle management. Usually they just wind up inventing fake work reports so they can appear to be adding value.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/PasteTank/" target="_blank">PasteTank</a></p><p>My company is trying to cut costs, and thankfully some of the layoffs and unfilled vacancies have been middle management. It makes me wonder what their purpose was in the first place? I swear management makes new management positions to give their work to.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/C0PPER13/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">C0PPER13</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_2" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Grumble Grumble
<p>My MIL tells me that during the days of the USSR there were people who sat at desks at the entrances of subway stations. They didn't actually do anything, but that was their job since by law for a while in the Soviet Union everyone needed to have a job.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/heybrother45/" target="_blank">heybrother45</a></p><p>Their job is to be unhelpful and surly. Those jobs still exist in some post-Soviet countries.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/jtbc/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">jtbc</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_3" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p><strong>To be clear, we aren't disparaging employees, but rather the people that created these jobs and made everyone's lives harder.</strong></p>
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Jogging Doggos
<p>Driving around Las Vegas I passed a mobile dog treadmill service. They come to your house and let your dog walk on a treadmill inside a Sprinter van.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/jesset60819/" target="_blank">jesset60819</a></p><p>idk i can see the value in this. las vegas can easily get over 100 degrees F outside, not guaranteed safe to walk a dog in that, could overheat or burn their paws. and not everyone wants a treadmill in their house</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/PizzaQuest420/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">PizzaQuest420</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_5" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Yeah, Why?
<p>Bathroom attendant. Elevator operator. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/openletter8/" target="_blank">openletter8</a></p><p>Imma dispute Bathroom attendants by saying, their actual job is to keep drunks form trashing the stalls, the whole towels and mints shebang is to give them something to do on the meantime</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Maycrofy/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Maycrofy</a></p>I Am The Captain Now
<p>Casino Barge Captain.</p><p>Many places in the US have riverboat casino laws that are used to justify large casino barges that are tethered in position and never move, not even having any engines or other means of conveyance. </p><p>Since they are technically barges despite being immobile they are legally required to have a Captain certified to operate vessels of that tonnage and crew on board at all times of operation.</p><p>I can't imagine a more gravy position than "exist on the premises with your piece of paper"</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Umbrella_merc/" target="_blank">Umbrella_merc</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_6" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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You May NOT Touch Your Gas
<p>For the states that require it, the gas station employees that fill up your tank. I ended up in New Jersey and it was super awkward.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/DaveyJonas/" target="_blank">DaveyJonas</a></p><p>Saw this woman standing next to her SUV for ten minutes at the gas station. Finally she asks me why no one is pumping her gas for her. So I says to her "We hate you cause you're from New Jersey." </p><p>She looks at me amazed and asks how we can tell. Eventually I let her in on the joke and helped her pump her gas. She was in her 40s, had she never driven out of NJ before?</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/damasu950/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">damasu950</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_7" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p><strong>And we know people need jobs, so it's great that they're employed.</strong></p>
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Up And Down
<p>Elevator Operator. It's a union job. A dude sits in a chair next to the buttons. He asks you what floor you want to go to and he pushes the button.</p><p><span></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Real_Time_Delay/" target="_blank">Real_Time_Delay</a></p><p>SF hired elevator operators for the subway stations. They're only there to ensure people don't piss on the elevators... which they would otherwise do.</p><p><span></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/tyinsf/" target="_blank">tyinsf</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_8" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Sell Sell Sell!
<p>Car sales people. Because you end up dealing with the sales manager when you actually purchase the vehicle. Car sales people can't even give you a price without checking with sales manager. They are literally there to babysit you.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Aroon164/" target="_blank">Aroon164</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_9" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p><br></p><p><strong>These jobs are serving a purpose for the people working even if they don't serve anything for society</strong><br></p><p><strong>What is the most strangely unnecessary job you know of?</strong></p>
Keep reading...
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Life doesn't come with a blueprint, instructions, nor a roadmap of what to expect in the days and years ahead. It does, however, contain all kinds of people who've lived life for longer than you.
<p>Those people can be a HUGE help. </p><p>Older, wiser, and more experienced, some people have encountered--and overcome--struggles that you currently face or haven't even met yet. </p><p>The advice and guidance provided by those people, often in small, bite size pieces, can provide a very helpful array of guiding compasses to be used whenever the appropriate situation arises. </p><p>And just in case you're running low on wise people and advice in your life, a recent Reddit thread pulled together a laundry list of wise axioms. </p><p>sayantane asked, <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/mkqicu/what_is_the_best_piece_of_advice_youve_ever_gotten/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">"What is the best piece of advice you've ever gotten?"</a></p>
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<p>Many people chose to discuss the pragmatic pieces of advice they've heard over the years. These platitudes can all go quite far in ensuring real, concrete success. </p>
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Until It's Breezy
<p>"Study to the point where the tests seem like they're insulting your intelligence. Best calc professor Ive had" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/mkqicu/what_is_the_best_piece_of_advice_youve_ever_gotten/gthzyk0?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Fruooop</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"That's a really good way of putting it. I'll have to remember that."</p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Something I've read in the past, that's sort of similar: 'Don't just study until you *can* get the questions *right*. Study until you *can't* get the questions *wrong*.' " -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/mkqicu/what_is_the_best_piece_of_advice_youve_ever_gotten/gtj84pl?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">skullturf</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_2" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Stock Up First
<p>"Pay your savings account FIRST."</p><p>"Don't wait until the day before you get paid to move the left overs into an account."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/mkqicu/what_is_the_best_piece_of_advice_youve_ever_gotten/gthl3w1?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">FrostyRain5286</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_3" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Actions, not Words
<p>"Anyone can replace you in the job you do. It's not your job to boast about how irreplaceable you are, but to prove to them that they don't WANT to replace you."</p><p>"There's a difference." </p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/mkqicu/what_is_the_best_piece_of_advice_youve_ever_gotten/gti7zi9?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">[deleted]</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_4" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>Other people shared the advice they've used to improve the social realm of their own life. </p><p>With friendships, romantic partnerships, and romantic relationships dominating so much of our lives, it's so important to feel sure you're handling all that as best as you can. </p>
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The Cardinal Directions
<p>" 'When it's her moment stand behind her. When she's nervous stand beside her. When she's scared stand in front of her. The rest you'll figure out.' - My Grandmother on women" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/mkqicu/what_is_the_best_piece_of_advice_youve_ever_gotten/gthtx99?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">WholeMilkStandard</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"I love your grandma!!" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/mkqicu/what_is_the_best_piece_of_advice_youve_ever_gotten/gtjky5h?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Neverthelilacqueen</a></p>Keep Rage At Bay
<p>"From my friend's late father, a wise old man from Trinidad:"</p><p>"Any man can get your goat, if you let him know where your goat is tied."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/mkqicu/what_is_the_best_piece_of_advice_youve_ever_gotten/gthmelk?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">JimmyBallocks</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_6" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Check Your Sources
<p>"Don't take criticism from someone you wouldn't take advice from" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/mkqicu/what_is_the_best_piece_of_advice_youve_ever_gotten/gthtigw?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">thehotdeskpodcast</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Well that rules out like 98% of the people I interact with." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/mkqicu/what_is_the_best_piece_of_advice_youve_ever_gotten/gti82zo?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">MrEngin33r</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Thank you. No need to give our power away." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/mkqicu/what_is_the_best_piece_of_advice_youve_ever_gotten/gtjihka?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">kittanjaan</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_7" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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People Are Not Psychics
<p>" 'You have to ask for what you want from people, make your position clear.' "</p><p>"Don't just assume people know what your problem is, communication is key. It is great for relationships, work, friendships, school and even playing team sports or video games."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/mkqicu/what_is_the_best_piece_of_advice_youve_ever_gotten/gti4ssq?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">SuecidalBard</a></p><div data-conversation-spotlight style="min-height:90px"></div>
<p>Other people discussed matters of the soul. These tidbits were all about how to handle being a human being with complex emotional states. </p>
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Let It Go
<p>" 'You will continue to suffer if you have an emotional reaction to everything that is said to you. If words can control you, that means everyone can control you. Breathe and allow things to pass.' "</p><p>"It's easier said than done, but it's 100% true."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/mkqicu/what_is_the_best_piece_of_advice_youve_ever_gotten/gthmxbc?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">mytwoquarters</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_9" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Give More Love
<p>"Don't be afraid to show gratitude. I don't know why, but for most of my life I was embarrassed to reach out and thank people for a variety of things." </p><p>"I'd say 'thanks' to stuff like everyone does. But feeling comfortable giving specific and thoughtful expressions of gratitude has been a journey well worth taking."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/mkqicu/what_is_the_best_piece_of_advice_youve_ever_gotten/gtikmwh?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">wtfreddititsme</a></p>Comparative Suffering Doesn't Work
<p>" 'It doesn't matter if someone has it worse than you, you're still having a hard time and that makes your problems valid and gives you the right for help.' " -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/mkqicu/what_is_the_best_piece_of_advice_youve_ever_gotten/gtjac08?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">BenaBenaBadBad</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"I remember one similar to this that was like 'just because someone else is in a full body cast, it doesn't mean that your broken arm doesn't hurt' " -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/mkqicu/what_is_the_best_piece_of_advice_youve_ever_gotten/gtl6ln4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">UnwaveringBear</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_10" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p><br></p><p>This is by no means a full list of all the best advice out there. Every moment, people are learning from mistakes, powering through struggles, and bestowing the learned knowledge onto others in their lives. </p><p>Keep your ears open enough and you'll never stop learning from those people. </p><p>Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter <a href="https://mailchi.mp/knowable/knowable-newsletter-in-content" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
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Image by Steve Buissinne from Pixabay
A school is supposed to be a place for educating and care for children.
<div>Supposed to doesn't always mean that's a guarantee, as anyone who's been through the public school system can attest to. Teachers act as the center pole to a child's experience, guiding them to a positive learning experience. However, not every educator does a good job, leaving a bad taste in students' mouths. <br></div><p>Reddit user, <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/IllustriousManner100/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">u/IllustriousManner100</a>, wanted to hear about who you remember hating the most when they asked:</p><p><em><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/mm3as2/what_was_the_worst_teacher_you_ever_had/?sort=top" target="_blank">What was the worst teacher you ever had?</a></em></p>
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Probably Shouldn't Be Around Kids Anymore
<p>There's telltale signs when a person most likely shouldn't be around children. The following stories are those educators who should maybe consider a job doing something else. </p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_36" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Unable To Keep Her True Thoughts Together
<p>The one at a private school who broke down crying yelling "You're all f-ck-ups!" to the class and stormed out. </p><p>She was hired just out of college and didn't last long.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/mm3as2/what_was_the_worst_teacher_you_ever_had/gtoz53w?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">dougiebgood</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_2" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Silly Rules Which Benefit No One
<p>A 6th grade teacher.</p><p>She was very mean to all the students and not just from our perspective. She was very particular about how things were done and in many ways it was unfair.</p><p>Example:</p><p>We were not allowed to take our sheets out of the three ring binder to write on them. The problem is, I'm left handed, so the rings were in the way of my hand and then she would yell at me for my handwriting.</p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/mm3as2/what_was_the_worst_teacher_you_ever_had/gtp5fke?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">AntiqueStatus</a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/mm3as2/what_was_the_worst_teacher_you_ever_had/gtp5fke?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3"></a><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_3" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Taking Personal Issues Into The Classroom Way Too Far
<p>Had this one teacher who'd hit me for almost no reason. Found out years later she had problems with my mum at the time</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/mm3as2/what_was_the_worst_teacher_you_ever_had/gtox0ae?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">tattooedbutemployed</a></p><p>Wait why didn't your mom file a lawsuit because of this?</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/mm3as2/what_was_the_worst_teacher_you_ever_had/gtq228k?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">Yung_Mulann365</a></p><p>This was pretty normal where I grew up. (Really small Pacific island, rather not say exactly) Disciplining your kids in and out of the house was normal. Like every morning all us kids had to line up in front of the classroom with our hands out. If our fingernails were too long or dirty, you get hit with ruler. </p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/mm3as2/what_was_the_worst_teacher_you_ever_had/gtq461w?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">tattooedbutemployed</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_4" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Enacting Improper Teaching Procedures
<p>Becoming a decent teacher means taking hours of training, attending professional development classes, and doing everything you can to try to perfect your craft.</p><p>Or you might encounter one of these individuals leading a class with their less than stellar skills. <br></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_5" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Classic Awful Behavior
<p>Ms C, sixth grade.</p><p>She would frequently body shame kids she didn't like and she was racist AF I was the only Asian in class and she would openly say things like, "what breed of dogs do you think is the delicious-est?" There was only one white kid in class and whenever he did something kinda dumb, she'd say, "What a white person thing to do."</p><p>She had no respect for other people's privacy and would openly announce grades. There was a dyslexic student who got poor grades and she would mock her for that.</p><p>She would never actually teach the class, she'd literally just rant about her life. She'd gossip about the other teachers and she was just a b-tch.</p><p>Did I mention she was a toxic feminist with a hatred for men?</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/mm3as2/what_was_the_worst_teacher_you_ever_had/gtp46ps?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">PuppyCumMeowMeow</a></p>Little Reason For Choices
<p>Social Studies teacher in 6th grade. I worked incredibly hard on a project for National History Day and she pulled me aside, threw it in the trash and said she'd be ashamed to put her name on it. Still makes me mad to this day.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/mm3as2/what_was_the_worst_teacher_you_ever_had/gtp7hz5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">SnugBear</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_6" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Inappropriate Disciplinary Behavior
<p>Had a woodworking teacher that used to lock disruptive students in a closet/room. Think he got fired for locking a girl in there. </p><p>Also had a teacher in primary school that whacked the class clown over the head with one of those old wooden 1m rulers and It snapped</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/mm3as2/what_was_the_worst_teacher_you_ever_had/gtp7epu?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a><a target="_blank">Existing_Lettuce_639</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_7" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Being Too Much Of A Creeper
<p>Then there's those teachers we've encountered who...</p><p>Well, just take a look. </p><div data-conversation-spotlight style="min-height:90px"></div>
Maybe Don't Talk About Boys' Willys?
<p>Mrs. Thomson, fourth grade. She was a Brit who was always going on about how boys shouldn't let their "willy" do the thinking. I didnt even know what a "willy" was.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/mm3as2/what_was_the_worst_teacher_you_ever_had/gtp1evk?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">ChaseDonovan</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_8" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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What A Jerk
<p>My History teacher in 9th grade. 1970's style, grey chest pubes popping out of his shirt with a gold necklace entangled in them. well over the line of obese but still not waddling. This was right after 9/11, so we all had to wear IDs around our necks and he'd always stare at girls' boobs saying he was checking ID. He used to give me detention if I walked in the class when the bell was ringing, but if anyone showed up after me it was fine. Made it a point to give me a hard time and belittle me in class, and I even had a meeting about it with him with out principal. Nothing happened of course because he'd been working there for 20 years. </p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/mm3as2/what_was_the_worst_teacher_you_ever_had/gtozbsj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">mmm-pistol-whip</a><br></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_9" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Wait Until Your Personal Time
<p>The one who got sacked for watching porn in his lunch break at school</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/mm3as2/what_was_the_worst_teacher_you_ever_had/gtowryd?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">CupperT2</a></p><p>Being a teacher should be something you don't go into lightly. It's a meaningful career, with an impact you'll never be able to fully measure. </p><p>Don't be a jerk.<br></p><p><em>Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter <a href="https://mailchi.mp/knowable/knowable-newsletter-in-content" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">here</a>. </em></p>
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Image by Ryan McGuire from Pixabay
Human bodies are weird, man. And at times, they're completely unexplainable. Like, I can link my arms and bring them around my body all the way, without letting go. Don't ask me how I figured it out, but weird, right?!
<p>Turns out, a lot of people experience things with their bodies that sometimes even science can't fully explain. Here are a few examples!</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/yOculus/" target="_blank">U/yOculus</a> asked: <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/mi48t5/whats_a_rare_characteristic_your_body_has/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf" target="_blank">What's a rare characteristic your body has?</a><br></p>
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<p>Some of these rare traits can be oddly enviable. At least, for me.</p>
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2% of people are vampires???
<p>My armpits never smell. I don't use body deodorant. My ex would comment on how I don't get a body smell despite sweating like crazy. Apparently this is a thing that exists for 2% of people.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/LlamaTony/" target="_blank">LlamaTony</a><br></p><p>Results are in! You're a vampire.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/glowdirt/" target="_blank">Glowdirt</a><br></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_2" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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As someone who is constantly cold, I’m jealous.
<img class="rm-lazyloadable-image rm-shortcode" lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNjAyODc4Ny9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0MjkxMjMxM30.JPeQstjm7Is_e2jVIMgmMyCtr740sZbbwVCboqcliIc/img.gif?width=980" id="97e1d" width="400" height="400" data-rm-shortcode-id="a075131dd1a117969f17c91a4e873c19" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" />Deep Snow GIFGiphy<p>My body is just really warm all of the time for some odd reason. No idea why, but I seem to have a tolerance for cold weather. Unless its freezing outside, I can just walk outside in a T-shirt during the winter months and not feel super cold. People look at me mad, but I get too warm if I have a coat on. It has its downsides though - in the summer months I am extremely hot, and whenever I'm not at work I wear shorts at all times.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/thunderfart_99/" target="_blank">Thunderfart_99</a><br></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_3" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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That’s sick af.
<p>I have vitilligo around one of my eyes. It looks really cool when I'm in a dark room with a black light on!</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Gitxsan/" target="_blank">Gitxsan</a><br></p><p>Same. Except it looks like I'm constantly wearing eyeshadow and I always get asked that. Especially in middle school, I remember girls would be like "omg you're so lucky your parents let you wear make up" LOL</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/yourstruly-confused/" target="_blank">Yourstruly-confused</a><br></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_4" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>However, other bodily quirks are just plain......well, disturbing, to put it lightly.</p>
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Nope nope nope.
<p>I have a short row of eyelashes that grow from the inside of one of my upper lids. I have to pluck them before they get long enough to scratch my eyeball. Just part of my normal morning routine.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Disregard-my-opinion/" target="_blank">Disregard-my-opinion</a><br></p><p>My grandma has the same issue, but it takes really long and they grow really weird. So she got a "surgery" where they cut the ingrown side of the eyelashes and a tiny amount of that skin off with a laser so it won't grow back there for at least a few months to a few years, depending on the case.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/PlaceboKoyote/" target="_blank">PlaceboKoyote</a><br></p>Excuse me, what?!
<img class="rm-lazyloadable-image rm-shortcode" lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNjAyODc5Mi9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY1Nzg2NTEzMn0.X5jfuWC2pwoDYLZaNPFZIWQc0Kb8EqYE2Wbx7wwNZpg/img.gif?width=980" id="6fc4d" width="360" height="360" data-rm-shortcode-id="79f553ece8bf7f3651f59937f7c7c104" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" />Giphy<p>I'm partial Situs Inversus. Meaning, some of my organs are flipped on the wrong side. My heart, lungs, and organs in the torso are all flipped to the opposite side and tbh that sh*t is f*cking cool. My heart also consists of 3 chambers instead of 4.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/lady_ferris86/" target="_blank">Lady_ferris86</a><br></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_6" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Reddit is the best place for this info.
<p>Having a freckle on both thighs so my d*ck is in the middle which looks like a blob fish, idk why I'm saying this to reddit.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/_TINY_TORTOISE_/" target="_blank">_TINY_TORTOISE_</a><br></p><p>You should watch the Octonauts episode about blobfish. It sounds right up your alley.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Trytek1986/" target="_blank">Trytek1986</a><br></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_7" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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That’s some alien sh*t.
<p>I have several halo nevi on my back. A halo nevus is a mole that is detected by one's own skin as not cool so the skin proceeds to remove it my eating its melanin. It first creates a white halo around the mole, then grows inwards until it "eats" the mole. When it's done I'm left with a white circle with no melanin in it. </p><p>Usually halo nevi are supposed to re-pigment with time but mine never did so I basically have several coin-sized white spots with zero sun protection. Because of this I was forced to stay away from the sun as much as possible since I was a child. The unexpected positive consequence of this is that my skin is in pretty good condition for my age.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/julie_f/" target="_blank">Julie_f</a><br></p><div data-conversation-spotlight style="min-height:90px"></div>
<p>But a lot of the time, these quirks are actually really impressive. Pretty sick party tricks, if you ask me.</p>
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I’m nasty enough to do it.
<img class="rm-lazyloadable-image rm-shortcode" lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNjAyODgwOC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY2NzQxODMyM30.RM3kpg-JmcJiHT8dJE1YongDe1TmQAfpBRcVS61nYMw/img.gif?width=980" id="a1f4a" width="375" height="211" data-rm-shortcode-id="fa30504bddf9dbb4b9b16c1afccdbd36" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" />comedy central lol GIF by Broad CityGiphy<p>There's a big dent in my chest where my sternum should be. If I hold my breath, you can put your finger in it and feel it pulse with my heartbeat. It's a very visible pulse too. Or, if you're nasty, you can do shots out of it.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/JonnySnowflake/" target="_blank">JonnySnowflake</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_9" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Fashionable!!!
<p>Not me, but my son. You know those people who have a random streak of white hair? Well my son, who is blonde, has a big streak of dark brown hair. It just grows that way, and people used to ask if I was dyeing that part of his hair.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/TopCod5724/" target="_blank">TopCod5724</a><br></p>Now THAT’S a useful talent.
<p>I don't feel much pain. My brain does but I don't register like half of it. Had a kidney stone and it felt like I was constipated. Except when I was throwing up every 20 minutes and trying to pass out.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Armchairengineer1960/" target="_blank">Armchairengineer1960</a><br></p><p>Definitely not to same extent as you, but I'm similar. Often times I'm not in pain until I realise I should be if that makes sense? Like I'll feel the sensation, but until I pin point what's happened it won't feel like pain.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/denybeing/">Denybeing</a><br></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_10" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>Bodies are so unique and magical, but also lowkey terrifying. But hey, if you got it, flaunt it, right</p>
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