Messages of love are such a beautiful declaration to be a part of, until they're not. Sending flowers and cards is always a fabulous gesture in letting others know that you care. But often the missives sent can be more embarrassing to deliver and even more brutal to witness. Whatever happened to writing the letter and sealing the envelope? Everyone doesn't have to know your business.
Redditor u/dIGITALbEATdOWN wanted all the floral and delivery people to brighten our day and fess up to some salacious messages they've had to pass along by asking.... Florists of Reddit, what is the most outrageous card message you've had to deliver with flowers?Ewww David....
GiphyMy fiancee is a florist. She often sends me ridiculous messages she's been asked to attach to flower orders. My personal favorite so far:
"Sorry I knocked up your friend.
From: David."
Brutal.
We used to have a card that had a picture of a dog in a doghouse in it, used that one WAY too many times. Once someone had me write "sorry, but I'm choosing her. You can have the kids." Thought that was pretty brutal. I used the doghouse card, thought it was appropriate.
Yummy?
Giphy"Thanks for letting me borrow your deodorant!" It was an edible arrangement.
This sounds like something I'd do to prank my older brother.
Sorry Girl.
Not me but my florist mom; She had lady come in and get a decent bouquet and watched as she spent 20 minutes finding the perfect sympathy card just to write "Sorry you're such a dumb b***h."
Apparently it was for her sister; my mom, who has 3 sisters, could total.
Farewell....
"When you receive these I will no longer be alive"
Oh geez. My dad died on Feb. 1 of cancer, and he preordered Valentines flowers for my mom. He didn't put this on the card, but I hope that the person who did was in a similar situation and not suicide. Either way, it's a brutal reminder.
Pretty Please....
GiphyThis question is so perfect for me but these are the two I can remember most recently:
-"I love you, my dirty hooker" and "please unblock me on Facebook."
All Things Love & $$$....
I have quite a few... one of the most memorable was having a guy come in to drop off his note for the flowers we were delivering for a friends birthday. The note turned out to be a 6 page letter and apparently they are only "just friends" because she had turned him down before.
Then a couple weeks later it's almost Valentine's Day and he comes by again to order flowers for her and drop off another lengthy letter. We congratulate him because we thought that they must be together now but nope, she has a boyfriend now and he still wanted to send her flowers on Valentine's Day.
And one that was outrageous but not exactly because of the writing on the message card but what was in the message. It was on 5/20, and it was significant because he had 52 hundred dollar bills which he wanted us to wrap each individual rose in the bouquet with. He said he wanted to show his girlfriend how much he loved her and he knew she also loved money. So he wanted his girlfriend to be able to puck out each individual bill and be able to get the message of his love.
We have done money bouquets before but with significantly less money. So we told him we would do it only if he stood there and watched because we weren't comfortable with that amount of money and that it would take at least an hour, but he didn't really have the patience to wait that long so he just ended up paying for the 99 roses and we never knew how he ended up presenting the money.
The Cover-Up
My husband likes to send me flowers to work for Valentines Day with awkward messages knowing my coworkers will gush and ask me what it says. This year's card just said "Epstein didn't kill himself." It was in old lady handwriting so I can only imagine what the florist was thinking.
Whoopsies....
GiphyNot really a card message (though he might have written that on a card eventually), but while I was working as a florist a guy asked me to help select what kind of flower he should get to tell his girlfriend "Sorry I cheated on you". So, that.
Forget u, ciao....
So many amazing cards have been sent, anywhere from Puppy-play related cards (Look it up) to a singular guy sending 3 different arrangements to his wife, girlfriend, and mistress but the one that takes the cake is from a girl to a guy:
"Hey Screwface, Thanks for all the drunk messaging and crap; if you like me, then stop being a damn coward and make a decision bro. Forget u, ciao (Insert girl's name here)"
EDIT: SINGULAR guy (being tired is fun). Satoux3
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"What is the best couple in sitcom history?"
Creating An Even More Welcoming Community
"Troy and Abed. A couple of friends."- aghzombies
"They did grace the cover of Best Friends Weekly."- DwightsEgo
Sorry Amy...
"Peralta and Doug Judy."- DavosLostFingers
"Reunited and it feels so good 🎶."- Ghostenx
"PSYCH"!... No, Seriously...
"Shawn Spencer and Burton Guster."- dazedcap
"'I'm Black, he's Tan'."- CrueGuyRob
Shawn Spencer What GIFGiphy"Snap, Snap."
"The correct answer is Gomez and Morticia Addams."- Reddit
"They loved each other dearly. "
"They were completely enamored with each other, spent time with their kids, their family."
"Accepted everyone as they were."
"It wasn't til I was an adult That I realized married couples weren't meant to hate each other."
"My mother had many partners in my childhood, she's toxic and things were always chaotic."
"And watching 90s sitcoms, I thought married people were meant to hate each other, and I always wondered what the point was."- MissMurder8666
Overshadowed By Their Middle Child...
"Hal and Lois."- MrRocketman999
"As a husband, I don't think I can live up to Hal."
"He sort of sets a really high standard lol."
"He loves her like they are still in the honeymoon phase."
"So infatuated with her lol."- treathugger
A Better Couple? Many Would Say, "Knope"...
"Ben and Leslie."
"I' love you and I like you.'"
"Simple line, yet so powerful."- Radkeyoo
Amy Poehler Ben GIF by Parks and RecreationGiphy"Gruesome", But Adorable
"Frank and Charlie from Always Sunny in Philadelphia."
"The gruesome twosome."- Herr_Poopypants
The Parents Everyone Wished Were Theirs...
"Bob and Linda from 'Bobs burgers'."- shashybaws
"All of the Belchers have such great relationships with each other. "
"They're wholly accepting and supportive (even if they disagree)."
"They really love each other, and it shows."- SummerOfMayhem
UK Version Only, Of Course...
"Moss and Roy (The IT Crowd)."- pentapotamia
"'I'm your wife, Roy!'"- Summerof5ft6andahalf
"'If anything, I’m the husband!'"- pentapotamia
it crowd chris odowd GIFGiphyAfterlife Be Damned... Or not, Actually...
"Eleanor and Chidi from 'The Good Place.'"
"How can you beat two deeply flawed people who together make each other better over and over again?"- hotbimess
Ruining All Food For Viewers, One Food Group At A Time...
"The only correct answer is - Scully and Hitchcock."- Prestigious-Net-2236
"Back off! It's our microwave! Ours! GRRRRRRR!"- Lvcivs2311
Nostalgic And Wonderful
"Kitty and Red from That 70s/90s Show."- saginator5000
"I like how Red on the surface seems like a mean parent who doesn’t let his kids have fun."
"But he’s watching out for his kids."
"And he’s a good man."
"He has a hard and stressful time supporting his family and he is grumpy sometimes but he would do anything for his family and he really loves them."
"What he does for Hyde is amazing."
"He just doesn’t put up with BS."- themanfromvulcan
Mothers Day Woman GIF by LaffGiphyIt Seems Everyone Is Better With Turk At Their Side
"Turk and Carla."
"Or Turk and JD. (Scrubs)."- JCBAwesomist
"Turk and JD all the way."- nunyabidnez76
Can't We Get Back What We Once Had?...
"Homer and Marge had a lot of beautiful moments back in the older seasons."
"Sadly, seasonal rot has ruined a lot of that."
"I miss a lot of how the characters used to be."
"Like, Homer was an oaf and a brute, but he loved his family immensely and deeply and would (and DID) do any and everything for them."
"He'd catch details like in that episode about the streetcar play that you wouldn't think he would."
"He gave up beer for a month for Marge and we got to see that, for him, it wasn't just a minor thing."
'Lisa might have been intelligent but she not only had ample 'dumb/shallow' moments, she also was very close to Bart and, likewise, Bart was close to her."
"He might struggle in school but he also showed he wasn't dumb either."- Snowtwo
homer simpson love GIFGiphyBe they married in the first episode or on and off again for an insufferable amount of time (looking at you, Jeanine and Gregory in Abbott Elementry!), sitcom couples give us people to root for and fill our own hearts with hope.
So much so that we don't mind following the arc of their love stories over and over again.
And yes, the episode where David meets Patrick's parents remains a tearjerker, no matter how many times you watch it.
Redditor gejiw94601 wanted to compare notes on how money can slip away so easily, so they asked:
"What's the biggest waste of money?"
Money is so easy to lose.
Just ask my best friend... vodka.
WHY?!
Idiot Facepalm GIFGiphy"Donating to rich Twitch streamers. I’ll probably never understand why people do it."
dring157
"I remember watching one guy drop $60k to Ninja. I was making 30k a year at the time, this guy drop double my salary in one stream."
IanFPS
Adulting
"Credit Card interest."
DweeblesX
"When I first go a credit card I used it only when I was short on cash, but it ended up me throwing money at stupid things because I knew I had a credit card to fall back on if I needed it."
"Now I use my card for the points, and I pay it off about every two weeks. While I'm still not great at adulting, at least I figured out this part."
boardmonkey
What about Florida?
"The $50 scratch-off lottery tickets you can buy in Iowa."
notthesedays
"I used to work for the VA lottery. I got to see the numbers, the payout was only about 20% (if that) of profit for scratch-offs. Slightly higher for the draw games. But print-n-play was almost 1-1 for payout vs profit. Don't know how it is now or how other state's payout margins are, but print-n-play is where it's at if you're gonna play anything."
DarthWeabu
Always Upgrade
adopt for sale GIF by Boomerang OfficialGiphy"Buying cheap crap you have to replace."
coinkeeper8
"My dad once told me to not spend excessive money on tools at first. Buy them for dirt cheap, and learn which tools you really need. And when they break: replace them with quality ones. Buying pro-grade stuff you don't need is wasted money."
.HarlequinSyndrom
Spending a little extra can go a long way.
Cheap doesn't often equal quality.
Flex
Costume Clothes GIF by Big Brother AustraliaGiphy"Buying ridiculously expensive clothes to flex."
PinkLemon4
"Clothes are a two-way issue. Good clothes last a long time and the price is worth it for the comfort on top of that. But some clothes are 100x the price and 1/10th the quality. So there is a fine line here."
Wdrussell1
Pay to Lose
"Pay to win games."
testthrowawayzz
"I played a lot of mobile games with in-game currencies. I have never spent a cent on these games. Why would I spend hundreds of dollars if I can enjoy the game and learn how to play even if it's slow? And many items don't even help you at the game. It's just skins or titles that only show other players how stupid you were to pay for a free app."
Pintermarc
And Silver?
"Gold Food, or more accurately food that is covered in something called gold leaf. In my eyes, food is worth buying if they provide a great amount of nutrition for considerably good prices. After all, you probably avoid paying 50 million dollars just to buy a few molecules that are useless to your health and needs."
"And then there's gold leaf food, sure the food looks fancy but at the cost of a ludicrous amount of money! And with the gold having no usable nutrients at all, it is just not worth it to buy such expensive food for a relatively small amount of nutrients."
"For instance, Industry Kitchen (hopefully that's the name of the place) in NYC serves a pizza with a gold leaf covering for a whopping price of $2000. While at my home country which is Indonesia, Domino's serves an American Classic Cheeseburger Pizza (IDK that's a thing) which is the most expensive pizza I could find on the website costs around $7 which is just baffling to me."
ScopeRicrit
Pretty Boom
"Fireworks, I love them, but it's like $50 per second for the good ones."
endisnigh-ish
"Yeah, I end up spending probably $300 each summer buying fountains and batteries and helicopters and cardboard tanks and sh*t--none of the big professional skyrockets. It's absurd, I'll be the first to admit."
"But it's fun!"
-RadarRanger-
Just Elope
"Weddings."
"Crazy expensive day. Guaranteed at least one relative will kick up a stink. Massive pressure to be The Happiest Day of Your Life. Everything doubles in cost if you say it's for a wedding (dress, suit, cake, venue) Just do the quick registry office paperwork, have a surprise party, and run away for a long honeymoon with the money you saved."
PinchAssault52
Roll of the Dice
Card Game Poker GIFGiphy"Gambling for sure."
snazyfragz
"I live in a small town where a casino is the big attraction They've had numerous people crap and pee themselves because they didn't wanna get up from the slots because 'it's just about to pay out.'"
11BREWER
Gambling is the greatest way to lose money.
Addiction will take everything if you let it.
