Think you know what's happening on your flight? Ya don't. Flight attendants dressing up dead people, hauling vital organs, and pilots goofing off on the emergency channel are just a few of the things passengers usually don't notice. But they happen, and now I want to be a pilot.
Yamesfrank0 asked flight attendants and pilots of Reddit: What are some things that happen mid flight that only the crew are aware of?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
Whoops.
One of my all time favorites is the Captain accidentally broadcasting his passenger briefing (welcome aboard, weather in chicago and so on) on frequency instead of the aircraft PA system, blocking up ground, ramp, tower, etc. for a solid 15 seconds. You automatically become the laughing stock of the airport.
I have been that lady. Many times.
A lady who was feeling very ill crapped her pants mid flight. A very kind FA managed to get her covered in a blanket and into the bathroom with barely anyone noticing and then gave her a pair of her own pants to wear so she wouldn't be embarrassed.
I was so sick on my last 14 hour flight. Like constant diarrhoea and vomiting due to a tummy condition and delayed flight.
There was one flight attendant who was so so kind to me, that I have no doubt if I did follow through, she would have given me anything I needed.
It was such a horrible experience but her look of such concern when I was just sitting in my seat balling my eyes out (because that's what I do when I'm sick) was so comforting.
Edit. As it seems I have personally offended a couple of people by crying on a flight they were never on, here are a few things I would like to clear up.
- Yes I know you aren't supposed to get on a plane when you are sick. It was the being on the plane coupled with delays that made me sick
- Yes I'm a big baby for crying on an airplane. Oh no my world is over! But seriously. I know what it's like to be stuck next to an annoying person on a flight for 14 hours. (This obviously hit a sore note so I'm sorry for whatever previous crappy experience you had). But unless you were starring at me directly, you would not have known anything was wrong until the flight attendant asked. I cried silently, yes I cried a lot but the toddler crying in the seat in front of me was definitely making more noise than I was.
- And lastly, adults cry. We're allowed to. I have no shame in how I handled the crappy situation (literally) I was in. I impacted 1 other person, and that was my partner. And if he can't handle my shit in those situations than we probably shouldn't be together. Luckily he's a little more mature than some and is comfortable to comfort his sick partner.
Thank you for taking the time to have a healthy discussion about crying, pooing and vomitting on a plane! May you all have successful bowel evacuations :)
Just the 10 a.m. flight to Bernie's...
Not sure if it's been mentioned already. I was learning to be cabin crew at college and in the event that someone dies onboard, the CC (Cabin Crew) make it less obvious that they have passed. Put glasses on them, maybe a hat. Essentially dress them up as subtle as possible to not alert and or panic the other passengers.
Was deplaning a flight yesterday and someone 10 rows up was hunched over to the side with a neck pillow on and hat on her head. OMG I wonder if thats what happened. It was really strange to see someone not budging from an aisle seat when everyone around them was gone. There were also a lot of cleaning people on the plane earlier than normal.
Yeah, it's real subtle when the flight attendant starts playing Mr. Potato Head with the passenger next to you.
Setting off alarms without warning...
The scariest moment of my day is when the FA opens the internal bag door (the closet we all throw our overnight bags in) without calling us in the flight deck first. That ding and master caution gets me everytime....
Sounds like the Q400. Either the FA opening the door in flight or a passenger who seems to think the door very clearly marked "no entry" is the bathroom and sets off the Master Caution because the FA forgot to lock the door
So it's like XBox live for pilots.
I've got an original one for you all. There is a radio frequency we all are required to monitor. Its called Guard. It's for emergency use and is designed for maydays, and for Air Traffic Control to reach aircraft that may have lost radio contact, or to relay messages from aircraft to other aircraft, etc. every day this frequency is abused. You will hear hundreds of professional aviators meowing, yelling obscenities at each other, and making fun of one airline or another. Often times what will start it is some poor guy accidentally transmitting his PA announcement to passengers on the guard frequency, followed by the very "mature" outbreaks for about 5-10 minutes.
It's the worst on the east coast.
Edit: just today I heard an airline aircraft trying to relay info about a medical emergency on this frequency through one of their fellow company aircraft. They couldn't finish any of their sentences without people yelling "YER ON GUUUARD" "HEY NOBODY CARES ABOUT YER PASSENGER" "HEY YOU'RE ON GUARD TOO EH"
Autopilot.
Pilots are on their phones or reading the newspaper all the time.
I'm a pilot and I'm browsing Reddit right now. Ooga booga booga!
Pilots aren't just texting and browsing Reddit.
Pilot here.
We only get paid when the doors are closed and the push back has commenced. If we're delayed or sitting with the door open, we're just as annoyed as you are.
At altitude we're constantly in contact with air traffic control and change to different "center frequencies" (or control for other than US locations)
We're also doing fuel checks to make sure the fuel burn isn't abnormal, dodging weather, and probably b!tching about scheduling.
Why the f*ck aren't you guys salaried? That seems like a job that would be salaried.
Corporate Pilot here, airlines pay block to block, corporate pays salary. It's the route you choose. I make well into 6 figures to work 10ish days per month.
TIL how to break into an airplane lavatory.
As said before in the last thread, there is a large list of things that can be broken but the aircraft can still fly.
Often there will be a dead body in the cargo hold.
There is a crash axe just laying around in the cabin. It'll spilt open your skull (not tested) but it won't actually get through the aircraft skin or windows (tested).
Lavatory doors can be opened from the outside by lifting the metal plate saying "lavatory" and pulling the pin under it.
Both pilots may not eat the same meal, but they might be eating at the same time while the plane flies itself.
Flight hacks.
Pilot here. Late to the party as usual. But, sometimes the passengers may be having a nice quiet flight in the back while the pilots are upfront dodging thunderstorms and yelling their heads off.
We will not only transport dead bodies, but also live transplants, like hearts and lungs. I particularly like the live transplants because we get to cut to the front of the line for takeoff and we get all the short cuts to our destination.
Tip for those who get motion sickness: try not to move your head around. Pilots move their eyes instead of their heads to look at the instruments in the flight deck. Also try to sit in a seat over the wing. This area of the plane doesn't rotate as much during climbs and decents.
Flight attendants can't do pilot's job, but pilots can't do flight attendant's jobs for sure. We aren't hired for our people skills.
Don't take off your shoes to go to the bathroom. People pee on the floor all the time.
Ex airline employee here. Often we'd have someone on board with terrible body odor. You can set the temperature in one end of the cabin hotter and it localized the smell to one part of the plane. If you see coffee filter bags hanging anywhere its because someone smells like open @ss somewhere on the plane.
FAs often talk about the "hot guy in 23B" or whatever seat he's in.
Pilots f--- around a lot up front. They'll take pictures, post on FB, watch movies, automation has taken over a lot of the work on long flights.
Edit: Not really on topic, but don't ever walk barefoot or in socks on an airplane. The same mop that mops the lav, mops the galley.
Wondering why your flight is late? Keep wondering.
Pilot here, most of the time the passengers are not given the full answer on why a flight is delayed or cancelled. Airlines will typically blame cancellations on unrelated events (weather) instead of mechanical issues so they don't have to pay for hotel rooms/meals etc...
Also, chemtrails are not real. For those of you who believe they are real, give your head a shake.
Pilots have a what-could-go-wrong handbook.
There's a 600 page book in the cockpit with every. Single. Thing. that can possibly go wrong, from a bulb going out to an engine falling off, a biohazard or a bomb threat.
I've seen a handful of air disaster documentaries where the pilots are facing issues not covered in the manual. I suppose they would likely be added after they happen in that case.
Yeah, a lot of the air crash investigations were from the 80's and 90's where flying was a lot more dangerous. For instance, British Airways 5390, where the pilot flew out the window and miraculously survived. Cockpit window damaged was soon after added into the QRH and is still present to this day.
Youch. Noted.
Don't fly with an ear infection or fluid in your ears. There is a chance you can rupture your eardrum. Flight crews are especially susceptible to this since we are constantly going through pressurization and depressurization when we work.
I use to travel a lot for work, and I made this mistake thinking I wasn't that sick. I could feel the pressure slowly leave my inner ear during ascent. During decent my ears wouldn't equalize and I thought they were going to implode.
That was a very painful 5 days of antibiotics while I was waiting for the infection to go away enough that my ears could equalize again.
Ya know, for the "water landing."
FA here, at mid-flight I noticed a strange thing with one of the slides was not armed properly and had an issue with it, however we landed safely and nobody of the Pax knew nothing.
Harassing a flight attendant is a federal crime.
A former teacher told us a story that fits the question.
Every year he would make trips to Europe that were for an "educational experience," or related to the subject he taught in one way or another. In reality, it was just an amazing way to spend two weeks in Europe.
One year he took a students brother with, since he needed an extra person to have the minimum amount of required students. After the 10 hour flight, the flight attendant walks up to him and asks if said brother was apart of his group. He says yes.
Apparently, on the flight he stopped the flight attendant and asked her to have sex with him in the bathroom. She denied, but he continued to ask her several more times through the flight. It reached a point to where she no longer felt anywhere near comfortable. She asked my teacher if she could notify the authorities and have him sent back to the states. He agreed.
There were no immediate flights back home, so a distant relative of his had to be contacted. He stayed with a relative he had never even met, for an entire weekend. He was then put on a flight back home the following week.
tl;dr kid repeatedly asks flight attendant to have sex with him during s 10 hour flight, she contacts authorities, he gets sent back.
This is so wrong.
Flight attendants don't get paid on the ground. Only flying hours are paid. We are slave labor on the ground and duties are continually added to our unpaid work time because the company knows they don't have to pay us. We show up 2 to 3 hours before we even start getting paid and some days we will work up to 14 hrs and only get paid for 5 or 6 of those hours. It should be illegal.
Please be kind when you are boardng the plane and getting all pissy about your bags etc, the flight attendant is a volunteer while she is helping you on the ground, she is essentially doing you a favor.
It's highly believed that it is important to learn history as a means to improve our future.
What is often overlooked is that what is taught in history class is going to be very different depending on where you went to school.
And this isn't just internationally, even different regions of the United states will likely have very different lessons on American history.
This frequently results in our learning fascinating, heartbreaking and horrifying historical facts which our middle or high school history teachers neglected to teach us.
Redditor Acherontia_atropos91 was curious to learn things people either wished they had learned, or believe they should have learned, in their school history class, leading them to ask:
What isn’t taught in history class but should be?
The Irish Troubles
"The troubles."
"Too many people in America do not understand why a wall straight through Ireland would be a BAD idea."
"I’m referring to the Brexit referendum and possible outcomes."
"If people were wondering why we were talking about walls through Ireland in the first place."- CLCVS.
Forgotten elements of World War II
"What the Japanese did to the Chinese during WW2."
"Unit 731."- CaptainMcBoogerJew.
"Japan gets off easy for their war crimes in WW2."
"They killed an estimated 16mil Chinese civilians and another 8mil soldiers"
"Also, Pol Pot."
"Didn't know who he was until I was like 25."
"Worst dictator all time (in terms of percentage of population he decimated)".
The truth about the American Revolution
"That the American Revolution was part of a wider cold war type of conflict with France."
"The American Revolution was basically the UK's equivalent of the US version of Vietnam."- vinsant7.
The Dark side of Swedish history.
"As a Swede, I'd like to know more of all the horrible sh*t my country has done throughout history."
"It's a damn shame we're trying to hide our history."
"For example, Swedes killed a metric sh*t ton of all Polish people when we were at our strongest."
"That's the kinda sh*t we don't get to learn."- mogwandayy.
Colonization
"Basically what Belgium did to the Congo."
"A lot of people are telling me that they are taught about this actually."
"I'm glad to hear it because I wasn't taught about this in the USA during my public school days (1995-2008)."- EconArch.
The truth about "heroes".
"While teaching about historical Heroes they should also tell students about the unspeakable things some of them did."
"Many famous figures throughout history who are pillars of morality actually did many terrible things." - User Deleted
Intolerance for Mental Illness
"The dark history of mental illness treatments."
"I think it's worth learning about."- 7dayexcerpt.
Slavic Mythology
"Slavic mythology in Slavic countries."
"Don't get me wrong, I love both Greek & Roman mythology and as a person from the Balkans both of those cultures are part of my country's history and had great influence over not only my region but the entirety of the continent & the western world but I wouldn't mind knowing more about Slavic mythology as well."- ShorsShezzarine.
The truth about the CIA
"How the CIA was made and all the shady things they did over the years."- ALargeChip.
There is a lot about the history of our world, not to mention our own country which shouldn't be ignored.
And it's from learning from our mistakes that we really improve our future.
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So apparently we are in the endemic phase of this nonsense.
We have light at the end of the tunnel.
So what now?
Where do we go from here?
Normal seems like an outdated word.
How do we get back to normal though?
Is it even possible?
What are reaching back to?
Life pre-Covid.
Those were the days.
If only we could bring them back.
Redditor hetravelingsong wanted to discuss our new normal in this hopeful "endemic" phase. So they asked:
"What’s something random you miss about pre-COVID times?"
I miss people being sane. Though that maybe election cycle issues not COVID. We'll never know.
I thought I was Alone...
"Being able to grocery shop after 11 pm."
Reading_Rainboner
"Hell yes. I miss the days where the Walmart across the street was open 24 hours."
Small_Tax_9432
let's just go...
"I miss spontaneity... everything now seems to have a barrier of difficulty."
iidosee
"I live very close to Disneyland so I have an annual pass. My friends and I would just go there after work and hang out and grab a bite to eat."
"Now, we have to reserve a day to go. And most of the time, the days are at 'full' capacity so we couldn't even reserve. I don't want to schedule to hang out at Disneyland for a couple hours for July. So yeah, I definitely miss the 'lets go eat at Disneyland tonight?' texts."
mymymissmai
Not til 24-25
"Functioning global supply chains. Ah, the product you want has got microchips in it? 9 month wait."
richard-king
"Minimum, I'd been saying for a while now that I wouldn't expect a true return to normalcy in terms of electronics prices till 2024-2025. Although Crypto crashing through the floor really took some of the pressure off graphics cards which I really appreciate."
statiiic
WTF?!?!
"How affordable everything was!"
Disastrous_Hour_6776
"Yep. Today I was bagging up my things at the grocery store and I heard the cashier say to the lady behind me 'thats $78.12.' She had -- 2 boxes of Kellogg's corn flakes, a carton of 12 eggs, milk, strawberries, raspberries, blue berries, a small cheese cake, English muffins, coffee, and a small whole frozen chicken that could maybe feed 3 people if the meat portioning was small."
SnowyInuk
Sushi
"My favorite sushi place. It was good quality, close by, kid-friendly, and not too expensive."
InannasPocket
All of this... it was a simpler time.
NASTY
"As a retail worker, just how f**king NASTY some people have gotten."
DmitriPetrov*itch
"They applauded you for being an essential worker but won’t vote for policies that’ll raise minimum wage while insisting a wage cap for heavily paid employees."
sketchysketchist
CHANGES your DNA...
"Some of the people closest to me became very bitter and petty over the last 2 years. So many people have the 'crazy eyes' now."
__--__7
"So true and holidays with the family is like who has the biggest tinfoil hat building contest. How many jumps does your brain have to go through to think that the Covid vaccine CHANGES your DNA into the patented DNA so that the government now controls your body."
"So like vaccinated people now have a singular DNA set. I feel like I still have a chunk of my brain just broken off due to that comment alone. I was also told by same family member that I could never donate blood again due to the vaccine. I guess it is so my patented DNA doesn't affect people?? FYI my vaccinated butt just donated today fine and multiple other times after the vaccine."
tyreka13
Homeward Bound
"House prices."
adrianinked
"I'm resigned to never thinking I have a chance on owning property where I live. I'm 30 and just can't imagine it anymore. And I don't want to live anywhere else so, whatever."
Osdab2daf
"That didn’t happen because of the pandemic. That was already happening regardless."
CH11DW
Oh Mickey
"All Day Breakfast at McDonalds."
hutch2522
"It was honestly hell to do, and not very popular. ITs margins aren't anywhere dinner and lunch specials. ON top of that, the temperatures are such that They require its own grill, meaning that if you have 2 grills in shop, you are down 50% of lunch capacity."
Freyas_Follower
Way back when...
"Hanging out with friends. And I mean waaaaaay before Covid. Like 2006 back when I had some friends."
LoocsinatasYT
I miss the old days. Maybe we'll get back there.
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What do you believe?
Is there a GOD in the sky?
Is he guiding us and helping us?
Life is really hard. Why is that is a big entity is up there loving us?
Atheists have taken a lot of heat for what feels like shunning GOD.
What if they've been right all along?
Maybe let's take a listen and see what they really think.
Redditor __Jacob______ wanted to hear from the people who don't really believe all that "God" stuff. They asked:
"Atheists, what do you believe in?"
I'm waffling between G-O-D and nothing. So please give me some education.
911
"We need to look out for each other because help isn't coming."
cknipe
Peace Out
"More than 2 decades ago, a priest was giving a sermon in my church and he said 'our faith requires you to believe without question. Why call it faith if you have to ask questions?' I haven't returned to church. Not until my wedding day but you know what I mean."
asiangontear
Delusion
"When I was young I used to think that after death you would have access to a PC that you could see absolutely anything about your life. Stats, any question you had no matter how obscure, replays of moments, perspectives of others in relation to you. No matter what you wanted to know, if it was relatable to you, you could see it. I know it's silly, but as time goes on I just want it to be real, and I don't think I'd have any issue allowing myself to fall into that delusion."
eggwardpenisglands
I think nothing happens...
"Realistically, I think nothing happens. We literally experience nothing after death. Same thing that we experience before birth. We don't exist, so it's nothing. I think the tenant that we should follow while living is to try to be happy and healthy while minimizing the damage we do to each other."
"What I would LIKE to happen after death is whatever you believe in, exists. I think Christians should get to go to heaven if they truly believe in it, Hindus and Buddhists get reincarnated, and everyone else also gets to experience what they believe they will experience."
"'I would still experience Nothing. Maybe it's one of those things where at the moment of death their brain makes them experience what feels like an infinitely long moment in time where they experience their afterlife. I just think it would be neat for everybody."
Better_Meat_
Shrug
"Best advice I received from a dear senior on their way out. 'You win some, you lose some' shrug. Nothing divine, life is that simple and wonderful, accept it and move on."
Tune_Kindly
It all sounds pretty simple. Why are people so up in arms about Atheists?
Whatever
"I believe in a universe that doesn't care, and people that do."
imCIK
Cool with Empty
"Nothing. [Serious]."
rumblingtummy29
"I feel this way about death. When I was 5, my grandfather died and my cousin simple said, he is dead, that means you are gone forever. Everything ends up dying, even plants and animals. I'm now in my 40's and still have this simplistic view of life and death. People think I'm ambivalent to life and death but it's just what it is."
thepigfish82
puppet-masters...
"I think a lot of religious people struggle with the fact that we are all just swirling units of chaos. There is no grand plan or great orchestrator. I think that’s why people who are prone to religion are also susceptible to things like Q anon and the Cabal and all that. They REALLY want to believe that there is some almighty puppet-master who determines all of humanity’s fate."
Lngtmelrker
“we’re living in a society!”
"Just be a kind and empathetic person not because you’re worried about some cosmic justice, but because it’s the right thing to do. If there is some being that created us there’s no way they actually care about believing in it or adhering to some rules from over 2000 years ago."
"Also a big thing for me is that I find the idea that you need religion or the Bible in order to have morals and ethics pretty dumb. It’s pretty f**king clear that most evangelicals have neither. But my main thing is being a good person simply because, as George Costanza once said we’re living in a society!' If you’re only a good person in order to make it to heaven you probably aren’t actually a good and moral person."
conservative_genius
That's All
"You're born. You live. You die. That's it. After you die you cease to exist, the same as before you were born."
serefina
Believe what you want. We're all here together. So let's focus there.
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The list of what irritates me is endless.
I mean... breathing too loud or dust can set me off.
I'm a bit unstable, yes.
But I'm not alone.
So let's discuss.
Redditor Aburntbagel6 wanted to hear about all the times many of us just couldn't control our disdain. They asked:
"What never fails to piss you off?"
I feel like this article can go on forever. Let's get some highlights.
Wasted Time
"Meetings that could and should have been an email."
Sirena609
Lotto People
"Getting stuck behind people playing the lottery at a corner store."
thenuggetlover
"I also used to work in a gas station and you’re SO right. I f**king hated the lottery people. Especially since my store had a small staff and there was usually only one of us working at a time, which meant that I couldn’t get any of my other work done as long as they were there."
"And you’re right, it’s also pretty sad to watch. I had one lady who used to come in every day and spent hundreds and HUNDREDS of dollars on scratch tickets. One day, she won $200 after spending probably around $600 and she was so excited and saying she can 'finally pay her bills.'"
i-am-your-god-now
Aware...
"No situational awareness. Job, home, shopping, driving. Think for one minute and go about. OBSERVE!!"
Dizzy-Foundation8122
"My mom is one of those people who leave the shopping cart in the middle of the damn aisle and proceed to walk twenty feet away. After correcting her a million times to no effect I just walk away now so people don’t know I’m with her."
OutrageousEvent
Shut Up!
"Endless barking in the middle of the night, I love animals but that sh*t I can't stand."
Acceptable-Lemon2924
"Endless barking in general drives me up a wall. One of my friends dogs was barking almost an entire gaming session the other day. I wanted to reach through the computer and smack him for letting it go on."
bangersnmash13
Kindness
"People being mean to service workers, especially if the workers are very young."'
scaryboilednoodles
All of these things. I hate them all.
Admit It
"People who never accept fault when they mess something up. Like, why blame a million people when it was clearly you who did it???"
Quirky-Area-8978
From Above
"My upstairs neighbors."
lutzow89
"I had terrible neighbors at my previous apartment. It was a one person studio for students, but her boyfriend was clearly living with her illegally and he was loud."
"One night we knocked n the door at 3 AM because of the loud music and an unknown girl opened the door. I just thought they were having a little party. But the next door I saw the girl living there come home with a suitcase after having been away for the weekend... Her BF was cheating on her in her own apartment."
Th3_Accountant
Move Away
"People who sit directly next to me at the airport, movie theater, any other place where you can choose a seat when there is PLENTY of other seating."
BacardiPardy33
"I can’t YES this enough and the ones who can’t park for crap so they park so close you can’t open doors on one side of the car or the ones who park directly behind when you pulled through so the door won’t open to load groceries."
BacardiPardy33
It's Over
"People who try to restart old drama. Like I'm done with you, just leave me alone."
Tired_Potatos
"Yep, half the reason I've basically quit playing one of my favorite online video games. People keep bringing old crap up or sh*tting on on someone who used to be our friend. I got tired of it so I just ejected the game out of me."
CaucasianHumus
AHHHHH!!!
"People walking too slow in front of me with no way to get around them. It’s even worse if it’s a couple or group taking up the whole sidewalk. HAVE SOME SPATIAL AWARENESS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!"
_-v0x-_
Life in general pisses me off. I'm easy.
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