People Explain How A First Date With Their Crush Could Go Off The Rails
A first date can be very exciting, but there's a lot riding on the initial romantic encounter.
Unlike in previous generations, many people meet their potential suitors through various online apps, where users have control over their perception.
Once a rapport is established, it's on to meet up in person. Once the profile pic matches expectations, most previous concerns go by the wayside and the evening can be smooth sailing.
Until it isn't.
Wondering about a hypothetical, Redditor MainSeparate2964 asked:
"Congratulations! You're on a first date with someone you really like, what's something that they could say that would ruin it completely?"
There was one person who was not on the same page.
A Late Confirmation
"This is a platonic date right? No? You know I have a boyfriend right?"
– Glad-Election-7952
Presumptions
"Reminds me of one I got once. Saw a movie, asked if she wanted to get food, she said no. I said 'oh well maybe next time then.' And she goes 'who says there's gonna be a next time?'"
– Silvinis
Identity Crisis
"A friend of hers shows up at the bar. Gestures to me, 'This is Chris.' I am not Chris."
– cambot86
Some dates didn't know what to call their situation.
What Label?
"Oh, so it's a 'date', date?"
– Akamors
The Confused Girlfriend
"No joke. I had a girl once ask me if I thought we were dating... Literally seconds after we had sex. Like we both regularly said we liked each other, went on dates, hugged and kissed in public."
"I had dinner at her families house once or twice a week. Anyway I said 'yeah' and she said 'Oh I don't think we should date.' Like what have we been doing for 3 months? Weirdest experience I've ever had with a 'romantic?' partner."
– kynthrus
A Happy Twist
"This happened to me! The guy didn't think it was a 'date' date and asked for a second chance. Almost ten years married."
– fiestafoxinue
These dates were doomed from before they even began.
False Pretenses
"It was a dare."
"Free food."
"I don't even like you that much."
– tr5al5x
Business Opportunity
"So, how would you like to own your own small business? I know a great opportunity, and all you have to do is get five of your friends to join with you! Want to join my team and crush some goals?"
– HawaiianShirtsOR
Curfew
"My dad said I need to be home by 8."
– YoungFelix105
Repeat Offender
"Remember me? the girl who cheated on your brother?"
– Brandenk192
While there are many variables involved that could derail a first date, you needn't be discouraged.
Just make sure before planning to meet with the person whom you have a crush on knows they will be on a date to ensure there will be no confusion.
Hopefully, it will be a match.
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Most of us have had a few jobs in our lives, and we've learned to be on our best behavior during the job interview.
But sometimes even when we're doing our best, we might make a mistake, like blanking on the answer to a question or spilling coffee on our pants.
There are other people out there, however, with far stranger stories.
Curious, Redditor Muchachi asked:
"People who have interviewed potential new hires, what are some of the weirdest or worst things you've encountered during the interview?"
Unending Surprises
"A woman handed in her resume in person (this is an important detail for later). She seemed normal enough, looking for a part-time job. She was new to the area and was checking out opportunities. This is a grocery store she was applying to."
"She called me the day before, panicking and asking for directions to our location. It didn't seem like she knew she was talking to us as she was asking for directions to the store. (Now she was here yesterday, dropping off her resume.)"
"She called to say she was going to be late, because she forgot about an appointment."
"She called to reschedule the interview for the same time and day as the interview. She seemed to think it was a different day."
"She called asking which bus to take to the interview."
"She called to reschedule again."
"She showed up four hours early, wearing two different shoes."
"Each time she called she sounded more and more drunk. It was sad. She clearly needed help."
- Optimal_Sleep_2789
About Those Random Drug Tests...
"I used to be the hiring manager for a store in a mall. Our back room was pretty tiny, so we did interviews in the food court. Usually, it was pretty empty when it wasn't around lunch or dinner time so it wasn't hard to find a table that was far enough away from everyone else."
"I was midway through interviewing someone when I saw a girl I didn't recognize walking towards us."
"She came over, sat down with us, put a little white pill on the table, and said, 'Take this pill' to the guy I was interviewing."
"Then she asked if I wanted one without actually saying what it was."
"When I said no, she started asking how I knew her friend. I told her I worked at a store and was interviewing him for a job, and she just said, 'Oh cool,' and just continued to sit there."
"It took a few minutes for the guy to get it through to her that we weren't friends who met during an interview but that this was the interview that she had crashed. Once she finally got it, she picked up the pill, got up, and wandered away."
- AmyHeartsYou
One-Way Ticket to Amazon
"Interviewing for student workers at a College Bookstore. So we got a pretty wild variety of characters, but none like Lorenzo."
"This dude comes walking into the interview in some tattered cargo shorts, a dirty White Tee, some flappy broken sandals, long mangy hair, and a scraggly beard. But the best part was the gourd. He had a good-sized gourd hanging from a hemp necklace around his neck that he was using for a water bottle."
"Now the Assistant Director and I both have a pretty solid sense of humor, and we know this interview is going to be special."
"We began asking him all the usual questions. Why do you want to work here? What were your favorite past jobs? All of which he answered really well, far beyond our expectations."
"At the end, we always had a fun question in there as well. We asked Lorenzo if he could go anywhere right now, where would he go."
"He passionately said, 'AMAZON! I would go to the AMAZON!' and got up and started dancing around the office. 'I'd go do a rain dance in the rain forest! Man, I wanna go so bad!' And then he pounded the gourd."
"Best interview ever."
"Sadly, our Executive Director flat out NO'd Lorenzo. The AD and I were tragically disappointed. We really wanted to give him the job, just to see what happened. He became a bit of a campus legend, and we really did regret not being part of his journey."
"Rumor has it that after graduation, he boarded a plane to South America and was never heard from again. Dance on, buddy! Dance on!"
- Centumviri
Emotional Intelligence
"Crying. She explained that she just cries sometimes for no real reason and I accepted her explanation."
"She was a good hire. I would swing by her office and sometimes she would be in there crying and working away."
"She was a graphic designer, this was at a design firm, and she was referred by someone I trust...12 years on, she has three kids and is doing good."
- seemooreglass
No Wrong Answers... Apparently
"I wasn't on this panel, but an older man being interviewed responded to two of his questions with 'That's a stupid question' and 'You tell me, you work here.' Needless to say, he didn't get the job."
"Another man bought lunch at the time of his interview and then complained he was being disturbed when someone went to call him through."
"Entitled weirdos."
- anybloodythingwilldo
Company Relations
"I have so many."
"One of my favorites was an early morning interview at a large job fair the company I had just been hired to was hosting at our local convention center. This candidate has been there the night before and completed her application and some assessments and was asked to come back in the morning to interview."
"She was DRUNK y’all. Not hungover. Hiccuping, slurring, stinking drunk. She tried to hug me rather than shake my hand."
"It was another woman and I doing the interview. She asked the candidate why she had left her last job and she said, 'Well, it’s like this, ya see. . . Me and my old man, we was getting a divorce (hiccup)... So then I started sleeping with a whole bunch of guys at the office. Then me and my old man? We got back together, and now I’m not allowed to work there no more.'"
"Oops."
- dontmesswithtess
Date For Hire
"I worked in HR (Human Resources) for a long time. I was usually the first person new hires went through for admin jobs."
"I interviewed one guy who was creepy beyond words, winking at me, biting his lip."
"At the end, he said, 'Well, I’m pretty sure I blew this interview, but would you hire me for a date?' I told him he has 30 seconds to leave before security was called."
- -allnighter-
Waiting Room Drama
"While waiting for her interview, I had a lady get into an argument on the phone with her roommate about leaving her sex toys in the dishwasher."
- AlexatRF21
History Repeating Itself
"I was interviewing someone who casually mentioned that one of their dogs had died after being left in the car during her work day. She then went on to ask if we have a place where she could keep her dogs at work."
"We do not, to which she replied that that’s ok, they could stay in the car."
"We were hiring for a dog trainer position."
- squarebeardoesntmind
Helicopter Parents
"I had a 24-year-old, college graduate, come into the interview with her father. I had multiple interviewees, so when I called her name and they both stood up, I told him it wasn't a group interview and he'd be in when his name was called."
"He looked at me and said, 'I'm her father. I'll be sitting in on her interview.'"
"I looked at both of them and said that wasn't happening, and he was not welcome to join us in the interview room unless he was an applicant on my list."
"He literally took her by the hand and walked her out. That was eight years ago or so, and I still think about that poor woman. I was 25 at the time and couldn't imagine that being my life."
- evanjw90
Brief Employment
"The one that stands out the most to me was hiring for a new computer tech. Was a nice guy, and seemed to know the basics but was clearly new to the field. When I asked if he had any questions for me his first one was, 'What is the process for transferring to a new position? I'm only applying here because there aren't any openings in accounting.'"
"Umm, yeah, dude... Tell me right away you don't really want that job and don't intend to stay at it. I just looked at him blankly for about 15 or 20 seconds and I think it dawned on him what he just did."
"The interview basically ended there and I thanked him for his time and said I wouldn't be calling. I hope he learned from that."
- cyferhax
Not a Team Player
"I was interviewing a graduating senior for an entry-level designer position, a position that would have required her to work closely with a writing partner and less directly with an entire team."
"I asked her how she approached working in teams and she said, 'Oh, I hate working in teams. Every time I do, everyone ends up ganging up on me, so I want to work alone here.'"
"Might as well have just ended the interview then and there because that's not and never will be how advertising works."
"I pointed out her portfolio and asked her how she'd created those pieces. Hadn't she worked with a writer on the headlines or the body copy?"
"She said no, her professor let her do everything herself because she'd told him she 'refused to work with anyone.'"
" I can't remember what school she went to, but they did her a massive disservice by letting her think that was normal."
- ostentia
At Least They're Honest
"Not an interview, but yesterday I received a resume that said, 'I really think it's time for businesses and companies to change the way they hire everyone. I have been out of work for over four years already and it's getting ridiculous. I may have not grown up in [redacted] but I am more than qualified for all the jobs I applied for.'"
- Sspalding91
Gotta Keep Up the Gym Habit
"Not majorly weird but always stood out to me:"
"I was on the interview panel with the owner and project manager as I was in charge of training new hires."
"A guy came in wearing skinny jeans and skater trainers. Already, I know the owner is annoyed because he's a stickler for the dress code (shirt, trousers, shoes) in the office."
"His CV said he's already experienced in what we do so we asked him some basic questions about the work he's done and he gave some vague answers that didn't really explain anything or indicate any real experience."
"Partway through the interview, the owner said that I'd be training him should he be successful, and he very obviously sneered and rolled his eyes."
"At the end of the interview when asked if he had any questions, he said he likes going to the gym so he'd like two lunch breaks because of the amount of food he needs to eat and also to actually get to the gym. The owner says we can discuss that if he's successful."
"The project manager and I didn't want him but the owner said we should invite him back for the second stage competency test and asked if I could contact him because he noticed the eye-rolling."
"The owner also made a comment about him being scruffy and told me to make sure he comes dressed for work."
"I invited him back and told him exactly the sort of thing he was expected to wear."
"He turned up a week later wearing the exact same stuff from his interview. It was clear during the (quite simple) competency test that he'd barely done this type of work before, if at all."
"He also turned up with two large tubs of pasta for the competency test and stopped partway through to eat one of them despite only being there for two hours (which was supposed to be an upper limit)."
"I asked him at the end if he had any questions and he asked what other responsibilities I had because I obviously wouldn't need to spend much time training him. I sidestepped that and he repeated the question about two lunch breaks."
"The owner phoned him the next day to tell him he wasn't successful and he offered his services on a freelance basis for both work and training, even sending a follow-up email offering the same thing a few days later."
- TheTrueBobsonDugnutt
The Beginnings of a Parasocial Relationship
"I interviewed this lady who seemed okay, but we didn't hire her. Then she kept emailing me, asking questions about the job (after she knew we hired someone else), and then she emailed me asking to meet up and 'hang out.'"
- bigtex2003
While we may have made some mistakes in our interviews, these deeply cringe-worthy accounts are bound to make us feel better about the slip-ups we may have experienced.
It's so easy for us to get caught up in the negative things in our day-to-day lives, whether it's a bad day at work or an ended relationship, but it's important to remember what else we have going for it.
Sometimes the best thing to do is to listen to the people we look up to, and let their words help us move through the tough time.
Redditor Miller1xo asked:
"What's the best advice you've ever received?"
It's Not That Important
"No one cares."
"That's actually the advice."
"The vast majority of people are more concerned about going about their own days and doing their own things."
"I kept being too socially conscious of myself around others, believing that every move I was making was being monitored and judged all the time."
"But the reality was that, just like me, everyone around me was just focused on themselves and what they were doing and not at all on others."
"And if anyone did anything out of the ordinary or 'embarrassing,' we all forgot about it the next day."
"So once I realized this, my social anxiety essentially disappeared after a month and I was far more comfortable in my own skin."
- fortifier22
The Bad Comes with the Good
"Life sucks, get a helmet."
"And life is like a s**t sandwich, every now and again you gotta take a bite. But the more bread you have, the less s**t you taste."
- vNerdNeck
The Great Aunt Has Spoken
"Three rules from a great aunt:"
"Go to the restroom while you have a chance."
"If there's a seat available, sit down."
"If someone offers you a breath mint, take it."
- realitygroupie
Just Ask
"If you ask, they might say yes. They might also say no, but if you don't ask, it's always a no. So ask."
- frid
Nothing Can Change if Nothing Ever Changes
"Not making a decision IS making a decision."
"As someone who struggles with indecisiveness, this has been an important one. It's easy to get wrapped up in analyzing options, especially what could go wrong. Sometimes the decision paralysis is worse than the consequences of a suboptimal choice."
- FatherJohnFahey
Take Care of Your Body
"Look after your back. You will be sorry in later years if you don't, and it's much easier to look after it now than try to fix it later."
- LucyVialli
Progress, Not Perfection
"Doing something imperfectly is better than not doing it at all."
- T3canolis
Perfection is an Obstacle
"There's a common phrase, 'Don't let perfect be the enemy of good.'"
"I like to adapt it: 'Don't let perfect be the enemy of done.'"
- angry_guacamole
Let It Go
"The best advice I ever saw was from Bo Burnham on a talk show. Conan O'Brien asked the standard question: 'What advice would you have for other young people who want to pursue their dreams like you?'"
"He responded: 'Well, my advice for you would be to take a deep breath...and give up. I got to where I am today purely because of luck. All these celebs today like Taylor Swift telling you to 'be yourself and follow your dreams,' it's like saying 'liquidize your assets, buy Powerball tickets! get rich! it works!' It doesn't work.'"
"'...Ten years ago I was just a dumb, skinny white kid who didn't know what he was doing. Now the only thing that's changed is I'm famous.'"
"Just do whatever you want, and if you get lucky and hit it rich then that's great. But it probably won't happen."
- VisconitiKing
Put Yourself Out There
"Hard work alone won't do sh*t for you. Chance encounters, a seemingly small conversation, and Cosmic timing have a much bigger impact on your success than hard work alone."
"In my case, there was a random LinkedIn message from a recruiter and a gut feeling I should respond to it. That led me to have a successful job that values work-life balance and pays way more than my previous company."
"Networking is an example of this. If you happened to know a guy who knows a guy, you can land pretty sweet jobs over someone who quietly works overtime all day every day."
"The family you are born into can also play into it. Apologies to Taylor swift fans, but there isn't anything special about her. If she was an average person, she would not have had the same level of success. Her family's connection to the record industry played a huge part in her initial success."
- ansteve1
Dump Her Back
"My first love left me for another guy. I was visibly depressed, and my Granddad asked, 'What's wrong with you?' I told him. He responded, 'Dump her back.'"
"I was bewildered. What the f**k does that mean?"
"Then, a few months later, my ex-girlfriend got dumped by the new guy and pleaded with me to take her back. It got to the point of her stalking me."
"I stood firm and dumped her back."
- frederick_ungman
Perspective is Everything
"While driving one day, I was p**sed that someone cut me off when I had the right of way."
"My Great Grandfather told me, 'There's a lot of dead people who had the right of way, too.'"
"I never forgot that advice. It may not be the best advice ever but it always stuck with me."
- SeriousBlak
Practice Gratitude
"A hundred dollars isn’t a lot to have, but it’s a lot to need."
- bang0_slank
Parenting Hacks
"If you have little kids, triple sheet their beds, alternating with full-size waterproof pads. So: pad, sheet, pad, sheet, pad, sheet."
"In the middle of the night when you have work in the morning and they wet the bed or throw up or get a nosebleed, pull up one layer, toss it into the laundry, and put the kid right back to sleep."
"Also, if anyone in your house isn't feeling well, give your kid a bucket or something next to their bed in case they wake up feeling sick. No one likes to clean up a trail of vomit from the kid's room to the parent's room or bathroom in the middle of the night."
- goddess_eris
Surround Yourself with People Who Support You
"When no one's got your back... move your f**king back."
- IJacboy
Each of these concepts are great ways to get more out of life, but the big ticket item here is perspective.
So often, we exaggerate things, whether how embarrassing a mistake was or how hard it will be to complete that task or how bad we think we have it, but if we compare that to someone else's circumstances, or how small this moment is in the grand scheme of things, it suddenly becomes easier to be more grateful and take more from life.
People Who Make Good Money And Don't Hate Their Jobs Explain What They Do For A Living
Few people earn a living doing what they love.
That's why those in the workforce call showing up for work "the grind"–which implies labor-intensive tasks for long periods of time.
However, there are situations in which employees love their jobs and don't even call their labor of love "work."
They just happen to earn money doing what they love. Who are these people? Where are these jobs?
Strangers online discovered what it's like for those who have it good when Redditor puffmonkey92 asked:
"People that don’t f'king hate their jobs and make a decent wage, what do you do?"
Those who work out in the field love the work they do.
Assessing Logs
"I work in a logyard in S Oregon. Log trucks come in and are unloaded. The load is rolled out on the ground, and I scale the logs. I measure the lengths and diameters, calculate the gross volume in board feet, and make deductions based on defects such as frost seams, insect damage, burn scars, lightning strikes, etc. I work outside, so it can be rough in the winter/summer, but it keeps me moving, and it's an interesting gig. Been doing it about 6 years now. AMA"
– Cult_Of_Cthulu
Working With Mother Nature
"National Park Ranger. Thirty-two years and counting. As with any profession, there are still bad days."
– ThndrChicken
Working in near isolation is ideal for these Redditors.
Behind The Scenes
"I work in the pathology lab at a hospital. I process blood and biopsy samples onto microscope slides for the pathologists to read. I love it! I feel like I’m helping people, even though I never meet them and they have no idea who I am."
– gobstopper84
The Happy Statistician
"I’m a statistician and work with a government agency. I particularly really enjoy not having to interact with too many people."
– sundried_potato
Reliable Computer Expert
"I am the only IT guy for a family owned business. They know nothing about computers so as long as everything is running smoothly they leave me alone. I only put in about 45 minutes of actual work every week."
– tablefor1please
Movie-Watching All Day
"I’m a colorist. It’s like photoshop for movies. I love it. But I feel very lucky to have this job, and to be successful in the industry."
– manatwork3543
Tidying Up
"I work as a housekeeper at a motel. I love my job. It allows me to work alone, I can listen to my music, and I enjoy making order out of chaos. Also, the money's pretty damn good. Because of the way our pay is structured, I make more than double the standard amount in this industry."
– MotherOfNerds855
Some people prefer working in customer service, depending on the job.
Joy Of Seeing Satisfied Customers
"Electrician. It’s hard work most days, but satisfying seeing it all lit-up and functioning properly."
"Knowing my work will still be in service many years from now feels good, and seeing customers marvel at their new light fixtures looking great is a good feeling."
– You11NeverKn0w
Low Stress
"I work at a pet store (only supplies, no animal sales) and make $18 CAD/hr. That might not sound 'decent' but it's better than minimum wage with no meaningful increase in responsibility (aka stress) compared to any other retail worker. In fact, my work environment is lower stress than any other retail/food job I've had and the owner has a keen interest in our well-being. Yearly raises, Christmas bonus, profit sharing, get paid our full scheduled shift if it's shortened or cancelled for weather, aiming to become a living wage employer with promises to increase wages beyond that so long as the business continues to grow."
"Plus no one asks 'why' if I turn down a shift or decline to stay later. Respect for personal time is huge. I'm treated like a human being, not a robot with no life outside work."
– creepmachine
Keywords: Security & Freedom
"I’m an accountant for a bank."
"Good salary, great benefits, tons of PTO and all holidays off."
"It’s not particularly exciting, rewarding, or fulfilling but it gives me the security and freedom to make my life as exciting, rewarding and fulfilling as possible."
– Reddit
Playtime
"I am a kennel attendant. I care for and feed both dogs and cats. One of my daily requirements if I have time to do it, is literally to play with a dog/cat or puppy/kitten. It’s called animal enrichment. It’s meant to help prepare them for a life outside the shelter. Doesn’t even feel like a job."
– RathGodofWar
Based on the responses above, it's not unusual for people to find jobs that are fulfilling and make decent wages.
Unfortunately, many workers end up feeling stuck at their jobs because they are settling, but for good reason: the reasonable salary.
But if they're unhappy in spite of a good living wage, is that really the kind of life that's worth living?
There are always better alternatives. If you want to be unstuck, taking a leap of faith is very rewarding.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained right? Go out there and find your dream job!
Every now and then, who hasn't found themselves falling down a Wikipedia rabbit hole?
Even if the sources of information found on the page are dubious.
This doesn't stop people from using it as a quick source of information when necessary.
And with links to other pages readily available, people often find themselves learning information which was a far cry from their initial search.
Gaining information that these same people would no doubt be much better off having never learned.
"What is the most disturbing Wikipedia Page?"
"Albert Fish is so disturbing, I remember the first time I read about him I was literally nauseous."- Lazy-Day5802
Albert Fish
"https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albert_Fish"- Stunning-Mix-773
"I find this as much depressing as disturbing."- YouKeepThisLove
List Of Youngest Birth Mothers
"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_youngest_birth_mothers"- PotatoLordBobo
"I think the most heartbreaking thing is that that damn list is so long..."- AliyanaRose
Lawrence Bittaker and Roy Norris
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lawrence_Bittaker_and_Roy_Norris
"These guys are some of the worst of the worst."
"During the filming of Silence of the Lambs and working with former FBI agent John Douglas (author of Mindhunter) for some time, actor Scott Glenn thanked him and said how fascinating it was to have been allowed into his world."
"Douglas laughed and told Glenn that if he really wanted to get into his world, he should listen to an audio tape of serial killers Lawrence Bittaker and Roy Norris torturing, and murdering two teenage girls."
"Glenn listened to less than one minute of the tape, and has since said that he feels he lost a sense of innocence in doing so, and that he has never been able to forget what he heard."- sully-fied
The Murders of Channon Christian and Chris Newsom
"The Murders of Channon Christian and Chris Newsom page is pretty bad."- Apartment_Unusual
Less The End Result, More The Process
"It’s not the page that is disturbing, it’s thinking back to where you started and hour ago and wondering what the f*ck happened!"- noigenoigenoige
The Anthill Kids Cult
"The anthill kids cult https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roch_Th%C3%A9riault"- periczache
"What the actual f*ck."
"I should not have read that."- Nico_MyTrueSelf
Tarrare
"https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tarrare."- olde_greg
"The fact that he was underweight after doing all this."
"What the hell did his poop look like since he wasn't digesting properly?"
"Or maybe his stomach acid was TOO strong and there wasn't much nutrition left for his intestines?"- bigmacjames
Nanjing Massacre
"I don’t think I was the same person after reading that page and seeing the pictures on it years ago."- 88Smilesz·
Murder of Sylvia Likens
"https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Sylvia_Likens."- Carp69
"That's one of the most horrifying things I've ever read."- Trini1113
Unit 731
"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unit_731."- Damonwalkin
"There are many things I can read without feeling uncomfortable in this thread."
"But this... is on another level."- Pure-Destruction
Human
"It is very strange and uncomfortable to read the Human page on Wikipedia."- LedZacclin
"The Wikipedia entry on humans makes me uncomfortable."
"Feels like it was written by an AI or by aliens."- Darmok47
Murder of James Bulger
"https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_James_Bulger."
"Haven't seen this posted yet."
"Still baffles me how little kids can kill."
"Changed the justice system in the UK for what it is today."- HighestBounty
Murder of Santos Rodriguez
"https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Santos_Rodriguez."- Mobius___1
"Holy sh*t."- UnitedStatesUS·
Wikipedia can be an endless source of information.
At least 80% of which you would probably be much better off not knowing.